Why am I always reminded here on DU that women can be abusive just like men?

[el_bryanto]

4. It's problematic

On the one hand they are valid questions, of course. But the timing of them is problematic.

It makes sense that reading about a story of abuse would make someone think of their own experience with abuse and try to come to terms with it. But it's also true that it creates the perception of equivalency and that equivalency doesn't really exist.

Anytime a person is abused - no matter what gender or race the abuser or the abused are, that's awful, and we should all be mindful and sympathetic towards the abused while requiring justice be done to the abuser.

But we live in a society where males and whites and particularly white males have more power than woman or racial minorities. It is awful when a woman abuses a man, but, in certain parts of our society, we have whole mechanisms in place to protect a man who abuses a woman. So that when a man abuses a woman, and it become a big news story, it shines a light on two problems - the awful problem of abuse, but the equally awful situation of a society that chooses to protect a male abuser.

Or that's how I see it.

Bryant