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Nye Bevan

(25,406 posts)

58. There would probably have been ignoramuses wanting to high-five you

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 09:39 PM

Jun 2014

Last edited Sat Jun 21, 2014, 11:11 PM - Edit history (1)

as though your experience was somehow something to envy. Kind of like the reaction from idiots when a female schoolteacher rapes a 15 or 16 year old boy, when they say something like how lucky the kid was.

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139 replies

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When Does Saying No, And Giving In, Become A Yes? [View all] demgurl Jun 2014 OP

It kills me that the victims always feel guilty Evergreen Emerald Jun 2014 #1

She's likely not to have lived through it. Warpy Jun 2014 #4

Exactly. N/t Evergreen Emerald Jun 2014 #6

In fact, IF a woman fights back she risks...becoming a victim even worse, alp227 Jun 2014 #8

American Sharia Alex P Notkeaton Jun 2014 #18

You have no idea how many women do feel that guilt. demgurl Jun 2014 #98

It's not consent if she was coerced Tansy_Gold Jun 2014 #2

Sexual coercion can be rape in some states states ismnotwasm Jun 2014 #3

I hope you do not mind... demgurl Jun 2014 #7

Not at all ismnotwasm Jun 2014 #91

I looked this up and can't find any statutes of this except for workplace. newcriminal Jun 2014 #89

Here's one ismnotwasm Jun 2014 #90

My rule is this, if a woman says no, I leave. dilby Jun 2014 #5

Right! demgurl Jun 2014 #9

No clue why they do. dilby Jun 2014 #10

I wish all men were like you. demgurl Jun 2014 #11

Yep I have had two girlfriends who were into dilby Jun 2014 #13

More so then a possible false rape report against you, demgurl Jun 2014 #16

Seems pretty degrading and not my thing. dilby Jun 2014 #22

Why leave? Are you there only for the sex? rug Jun 2014 #15

That was my thought too. panader0 Jun 2014 #20

If I was does that matter? dilby Jun 2014 #23

Let me understand you. rug Jun 2014 #24

I am sorry but at what point does her feelings take precedence dilby Jun 2014 #25

Why is there a conflict? rug Jun 2014 #26

If we are at the point of next step being sex dilby Jun 2014 #32

Actually, having read your reply, I'm happy for her that you left. rug Jun 2014 #35

That makes two of us. dilby Jun 2014 #38

Lemme Get This Straight RobinA Jun 2014 #81

There are other reasons to be with a woman than to fuck or to parse the legal consequences. rug Jun 2014 #83

sounds like a real winner, right? Skittles Jun 2014 #95

Fucking is also a perfectly valid reason to be on a date with someone LadyHawkAZ Jun 2014 #115

It is but it that case you would have said it. rug Jun 2014 #116

Clarify? I don't understand what you're saying here n/t LadyHawkAZ Jun 2014 #117

Thanks LadyHawk for understanding. dilby Jun 2014 #124

This has been a really bizarre subthread LadyHawkAZ Jun 2014 #125

Thank you Robin. dilby Jun 2014 #111

Maybe you could talk to her? treestar Jun 2014 #104

Do you understand the scenario? dilby Jun 2014 #108

I am surprised you actually get that far with women Skittles Jun 2014 #94

Yes Dorian Gray Jun 2014 #100

That is a huge differnce, huge. dilby Jun 2014 #107

Interesting how you seem more concerned with your own future than with the woman's. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #17

Oh I am so sorry, when did the woman become more important than me? dilby Jun 2014 #27

"This is a 50/50 situation" "And yes my main concern is myself" Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #31

Listen to yourself, would you tell a woman she should take a mans feelings into consideration dilby Jun 2014 #33

Umm, how is that first question even serious? Of course I would tell a woman... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #36

Ok so when I say it's time to go there should not be a problem. dilby Jun 2014 #37

You are misunderstanding my point. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #39

I guess it's just how I was raised. dilby Jun 2014 #40

I'm not here to debate you on casual sex. I seriously don't give a shit about your sex life. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #41

I don't understand what you are looking for? dilby Jun 2014 #43

The women know it's only about sex up front? treestar Jun 2014 #105

Yes some of the dates I go on it's sex up front. dilby Jun 2014 #109

He Knows RobinA Jun 2014 #85

"According to your logic" - Not at all, actually. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #87

Listen to yourself CreekDog Jun 2014 #127

I don't think what I do is awesome, but if someone wants to throw shit in my face dilby Jun 2014 #128

Why do you need to post a dozen times to justify? CreekDog Jun 2014 #130

Why do people need to start their own threads when someone has already said it? dilby Jun 2014 #131

The reactions to dilby's posts woolldog Jun 2014 #46

I honestly think they have the right intentions. dilby Jun 2014 #48

I'm trying to imagine you just getting up woolldog Jun 2014 #49

Depends on the situation. dilby Jun 2014 #60

He said they know it's just about sex treestar Jun 2014 #106

Quite a few. dilby Jun 2014 #110

It's not about putting one person's feelings first. Don't fabricate your oppositions argument. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #62

And how did my actions affect others? dilby Jun 2014 #77

What does it mean when in the process of only doing something for yourself you help someone else? Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #78

Why do my actions ever have to benefit someone else? dilby Jun 2014 #80

Just a recap: You date people only for sex, you don't care about other's feelings... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #84

If it helps you to sleep better at night you can think that. dilby Jun 2014 #86

Why do you feel the need to impose your own sexual conquests on this discussion? Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #88

and so you feel outraged over some else's feelings... AngryAmish Jun 2014 #102

Yikes. I honestly hope you're just doing a poor job of expressing yourself RufusTFirefly Jun 2014 #44

What is the Alternative? dilby Jun 2014 #45

So it's all or nothing for you, eh? No sex? No deal. RufusTFirefly Jun 2014 #50

As a single man I regularly go on dates. dilby Jun 2014 #79

I am not surprised that she never asks why you're leaving. gollygee Jun 2014 #67

Oh, thats original, sex vending machines. dilby Jun 2014 #73

According to you gollygee Jun 2014 #74

One time I did that. dilby Jun 2014 #76

I don't know where the responses to you are coming from The2ndWheel Jun 2014 #112

It's only Men who are giving me crap. dilby Jun 2014 #113

i think it's because there is a huge range of possibility b/w trying to talk her into it and fishwax Jun 2014 #126

Dilby.... demgurl Jun 2014 #133

Yeah pretty much. dilby Jun 2014 #135

Consent must be conscious and enthusiastic. MineralMan Jun 2014 #12

So if one party says "no" at first, but moves on to an unenthusiastic "OK fine, let's make love", Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #14

It's not just obnoxious, it is clearly ethically wrong. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #19

"I think we tend to focus too much on what constitutes illegality rather than the unethical." nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #21

OK, so I agree with you that this kind of behavior is morally wrong, Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #55

In most cases, yeah, sure. If only because it would be nigh unprovable in court. n/t nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #57

Well said. nt The Road Runner Jun 2014 #71

THIS POST RIGHT HERE. redqueen Jun 2014 #34

I was at a party in college yeoman6987 Jun 2014 #51

You were raped. You were in no position to give consent. Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #54

It has bothered me yeoman6987 Jun 2014 #56

There would probably have been ignoramuses wanting to high-five you Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #58

Utter bullshit. newcriminal Jun 2014 #61

So if (1) someone is drunk; (2) they bang their head and are passed out, Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #63

they wake up to find someone performing a sexual act upon them newcriminal Jun 2014 #65

So, you think this person was in a position to give fully-informed consent? (nt) Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #66

I'm saying you instantly jumped to you were raped, without knowing enough about what happened. newcriminal Jun 2014 #68

I know that the poster was drunk, had suffered a blow to the head, and was groggy. Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #69

There was no crime in what was reported here, newcriminal Jun 2014 #70

Not based on what you've stated in your post she didn't. So no, you shouldn't have pressed charges. cui bono Jun 2014 #92

Of course that was rape. demgurl Jun 2014 #96

I only defined consent as I have always MineralMan Jun 2014 #47

OK, so I think I agree with you. Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #52

Such a situation has never come up for me. MineralMan Jun 2014 #118

If someone demands my wallet and threatens me, and I give in, it's still robbery. arcane1 Jun 2014 #28

Exactly!!! nt demgurl Jun 2014 #29

Certainly, if someone agrees to have sex at knife-point, that is definitely rape (nt) Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #53

But... The Road Runner Jun 2014 #75

One time I was trying to fit some stuff into the trunk of my car, Nye Bevan Jun 2014 #82

Panhandling? Loitering? Michigander_Life Jun 2014 #103

Never, elleng Jun 2014 #30

My opinion is if she says no, then I'm quite content to leave it be mythology Jun 2014 #42

Rape apologists are decloaking all over this thread. LeftyMom Jun 2014 #59

I think decloaking is an excellent word for it. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #64

Or they think if they jiggle the dodgy vending machine around it'll give them a Coke after all. nt LeftyMom Jun 2014 #72

Unfortunately, our culture teaches men that it is ok to badger women until their no changes. KitSileya Jun 2014 #93

Any time a man has to convince a woman to do anything sexual..... demgurl Jun 2014 #97

Great post. nt raccoon Jun 2014 #99

It is part of our culture. KitSileya Jun 2014 #129

How do we get it out of our heads? demgurl Jun 2014 #132

It's a tough call sometimes Shankapotomus Jun 2014 #101

From this thread I would agree. dilby Jun 2014 #121

the real problem seems to be the casual sex aspect of it treestar Jun 2014 #114

I think you have something important there. MineralMan Jun 2014 #119

Not everyone wants a relationship. dilby Jun 2014 #120

Many people have casual relationships that include sexual activity. MineralMan Jun 2014 #122

Some people have very specific needs. dilby Jun 2014 #123

That somebody is going to see it as rape treestar Jun 2014 #136

You can be accused of rape by a girlfriend or spouse. dilby Jun 2014 #138

The problem is a lot of rapes happen by people who know you. demgurl Jun 2014 #134

No, I'm not talking about people you know treestar Jun 2014 #137

I concur there is more of a chance of falsehood with people you do not know. demgurl Jun 2014 #139