Top Ten Conservative Idiots of the Week

[Nanjing to Seoul]

[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER EDITION[/font]

That whining and sobbing noise you hear coming from the mid-Atlantic area over the country are the sounds of Republicans crying like little babies after their Daddy, Awesome Ninja President Barack Obama, turned them into sniveling little shells. But did they learn their lesson? No. Ted Cruz (1) is still talking like a moron, Tea Partiers (2, 3) can't decide whether to wear their Klanhoods or to call Whine-1-1 and the GOP is in full on "ready, aim, shoot in the foot" mode (6, 7). Lastly, two irrelevant idiots comes out of the dustbin to prove just how irrelevant they are (9, 10). And as always, don't forget the key.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Ted Cruz[/font]


This guy is proof that assholes gravitate to the Republican Party. The House and Senate passed a clean CR, Obama signed it and the world was saved another economic disaster the likes of which would make the Great Depression look like a blip in the radar. Ted Cruz was completely defeated. . .everything he wanted, he didn’t get. From Rachel Maddow. . .here’s what Booze Cruz wanted and here’s what he got:

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Kind of makes your mouth water, doesn’t it? Booze Cruz is completely defeated. Everyone sees it. . .except Ted Cruz.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) stood behind his effort to use a government shutdown to defund the health care law Wednesday, blaming his fellow Senate Republicans for getting in the way of victory in the House.

Ultimately, Cruz said that his effort to defund Obamacare, which died in the Senate Wednesday night, was not a failure.

"It was an incredible victory," Cruz said.'

Wait? What? Incredible Victory??? What? Ummm. . .yeah. I have nothing to say here. He has literally made me lost for words with that comment.

You GOT NOTHING!!! Absolutely nothing! Not one thing. . .you’ve hurt your party (more on that later) and have proven yourself to be an opportunistic asshole. . .this is a complete victory like Hiroshima was for the Japanese in 1945. The only difference is you nuked your own party. . .you know, your allies.

Don’t tell Booze Cruz that, because at some Values Votes straw poll of conservative idiots, Booze Cruz won big.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Though his approval rating may be slipping nationally, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz received an overwhelming nod of confidence from conservative activists on Saturday with a decisive victory in the Values Voter straw poll. The Texas firebrand received a whopping 42 percent of the vote at the gathering of social conservatives, garnering more than triple the amount of support of second place finisher, conservative activists Dr. Ben Carson, who got 13 percent. Former presidential candidate Rick Santorum came in a close third, also receiving 13 percent of the vote. Sens. Rand Paul and Marco Rubio rounded out the top five, receiving six and five percent of support, respectively.

Please be he nominee in 2016, Ted. Please! I’m begging you. Pick Marco Rubio or Mike Lee to be your running mate too. Please! Maybe Howdy-Doody in Louisiana can be your campaign manager.

But all is not good in Tex Cruz World. Apparently, the damage of his exercise in stupidity is costing him support among House Republicans. Accoring to Buzzfeed:

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]“Well, this has been a productive exercise hasn’t it?” snarked another Republican congressman. “We can blame Ted Cruz, and yeah, he convinced a lot of people that they were somehow not really conservatives if we didn’t take this route, and that’s ridiculous. But at the end of day, we played along. So shame on us.” Cruz still holds considerable sway among House conservatives, who rallied around his cause. But even within the ranks of the conference’s most ideologically pure, there’s frustration with the path Cruz led them down. “You can’t just pull the pin on the grenade, roll it in the tent and walk away,” one conservative Republican said. “There’s real frustration” within the House Republican conference, the lawmaker added.

According to Peter King (?):

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]New York Rep. Peter King has long been one of Cruz’s loudest critics since the push to defund Obamacare began (and even before that), and he left the Republican conference Wednesday morning with an I-told-you-so attitude.

“I think it’s important for Republican leaders around the country to speak out against him and neutralize him,” King said of Cruz.

“Otherwise he’s going to start the same nonsense again in December or January. He’s the guy that caused this, he’s the guy who is a fraud because he never had a strategy to begin with. And if we let him do it again, it’s our fault.”

When did I start agreeing with the Long Island Gadfly? So, what was Ted Cruz fighting for? Apparently, money was the #1 reason:

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]CRUZ: We have seen a remarkable thing happen. Months ago when the effort to defund Obamacare began, official Washington scoffed. They scoffed that the American people would rise up. They scoffed that the House of Representatives would do anything and they scoffed that the Senate would do anything. We saw first of all, millions of millions of American people rising up across this country, over two million people signing a national petition to defund Obamacare. We saw the House of Representatives take a courageous stand listening to the American people that everyone in official Washington said wouldn’t happen.

And the second reason: fame, power and more money:

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]When Sen. Ted Cruz went to the Senate floor Tuesday to block a bill that would fund the federal government for the next two months, he said to the C-SPAN cameras, "We don't need fake fights. We don't need fake votes. What we need is real change." But at that moment, Cruz was leading a fake fight over a fake vote that nearly all in Washington agree would never actually defund Obamacare the way Cruz said it would. As for the “real change” Ted Cruz said he was looking for, that change has arrived in Washington, and the change is Ted Cruz himself.

Almost single-handedly, the freshman Tea Party apostle has upended the clubby U.S. Senate, roiled the tradition-bound GOP, and revolutionized the business of power in the nation’s capital, all thanks to the health-care bill that Cruz, former senator Jim DeMint, and a small army of conservative operatives have essentially made a living out of hating.

"These guys aren't stupid. They can read the votes,” says a veteran Republican operative. “That's why Republicans are so infuriated. Folks know exactly why they're doing this. They are using this issue and misleading conservatives in order to expand their own influence and raise money for themselves."

Why am not surprised? Next up for Ted Cruz: Shutting down the government so he can get a law passed removing all campaign finance laws for anyone named Ted Cruz so he can run for president above the law. One last note on this douche. . .apparently he’s as bad a Senator as he was a roommate in University. Just look at his former roommate’s Twitter to get the dope on Smellbag, bad roommate and just plain worthless Ted Cruz. Texas voters, are you proud of this ass yet?

***UPDATE***

Apparently, our boy Ted Talk Booze Cruz has a problem brewing. He seems to have violated Senate ethics rules.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz potentially violated ethics rules by failing to publicly disclose his financial relationship with a Caribbean-based holding company during the 2012 campaign, a review of financial disclosure and company documents by TIME shows. The relationship originated with a $6,000 investment Cruz made more than a decade ago in a Jamaican private equity firm founded by his college roommate. When Cruz later reported the financial relationship in 2013, he failed to comply with Senate rules requiring full identification of the holding company and its location, triggering an inquiry by Senate Select Committee on Ethics staff and a second amended disclosure. After additional inquiries by TIME this week, Cruz said he is now in the process making further corrections to his disclosure.

Can’t put the fart back in the elephant, you corrupt, lying pig. Just do the country a favor and resign, then go back to Canada. . .if the Canadians really want you.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Tea Party Protesters in Washington[/font]


So while Ted Cruz was on his crusade, a bunch of veterans decided to march and do something honorable, living up to the Constitutional right to petition the government to redress grievances. And if there is one group of people that his US Government has traditional crapped all over, it’s its armed services veterans. I might not agree with their stance, but I will listen, especially when they complain about the GOP closing down monuments because Obama hasn’t been impeached and sentenced to prison for the crime of being a Black, Democratic President. Leave it to the tea party to tear it apart. First, it turned into this:

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Strike one! Nothing says “we are credible” more than flying the one symbol from American history that sparks memories of lynching, segregation and the plight of the forgotten (but should always be remembered) George Stinney.

However, what gets even more disgusting in this entire crusade is how these fine American “patriots” reacted when the police showed up to watch them.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]As we reported earlier, a protest that started at the World War II Memorial ended up in front of the White House, where protesters piled up barricades that had been used to keep people out of the memorial during the government shutdown. Police, some in riot gear, were called in, and while news reports showed some of the confrontation, raw Youtube video of the protest reveals members of the crowd heckling the officers, calling them “brown shirts,” the “Gestapo,” the “Stasi,” and opining that the unit “looks like something out of Kenya.”

The so-called “Million Vet March” demonstration was attended by at least some non-veterans, including Senators Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Mike Lee (R-UT), and was marked by the flying of a Confederate flag at the White House. In this video, which records the arrival of the police, then documents the confrontation in extreme closeup, you can hear more of what the crowd shouts at the police, including “You work for us!”

Apparently, reactionary conservatives feel the police are only needed to stop Occupy protesters, WTO/G8 protesters and anyone that protested against George Bush.

So, with all the illegal activity, racism and bigotry, would the Republicans do their best to stay away?

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Are you kidding? The GOP normally hide behind the flag, the bible, the police shield and children. Veterans are good political props. Confederate flags and racist speech be demanded. Their base LOOOVES that crap!

Expect them to soon go to Leith, North Dakota and tell everyone there that they are good Americans while the citizens of Leith dress in their SS uniforms, flag the Nazi flag and salute, then jackoff to posters and painting of Hitler. Because if the GOP like Palin and Cruz will not renounce the racism of Confederacy, the acceptance of Neo-Nazism is just a small step away.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Tea Party Ranchers[/font]


Classify this entry into the “are you serious” file? So, last week a freak blizzard hit the upper midwest, killing thousands of head of cattle because people were caught with their pants down, not expecting the storm.

Ranchers like Scott Reder were horrified by the devestation.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]From inside a small plane cruising over cattle country here, Scott Reder spied the carnage and felt sick to his stomach.

Mile after mile, half-buried by snow, the dead animals lay huddled in groups, calves close to their to mothers — carcasses by the dozens strung out along field fences and packed into ditches, black hooves poking up through the drifts like macabre stakes.
"In 20 years of flying, I've never been sick, but I had to let my friend take over," Reder recalled. "I looked down and saw 120 of my cattle laying there dead. After I'd finally had enough. I said, 'Let's go home.'"

I feel for you, buddy. I really do. Losing your livelihood due to a freak storm is terrible. Look what happened to NYers and people in NJ after Sandy and the people of NOLA after Katrina. I feel for you.

Tell me what you’re doing, rugged individualist, to pull yourself up by your boot straps.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Yet Washington's shutdown has deprived people here of a traditional safety net: Congress hasn't passed a new farm bill to subsidize agricultural producers, and the lockout means legislators won't be voting on the topic any time soon.

These days, Reder passes a federal Farm Services Administration office whose doors are closed. Like most American ranchers, the 47-year-old is a resilient small businessman used to tending to his own problems, with help from neighbors whose families settled this land generations ago.

Still, he's frustrated and feels that federal lawmakers have turned their backs on the nation's heartland in a time of need.

Okay, so you run to that big bad government that does nothing to help anyone, according to Ronnie Raygun and Ted Cruz. . .that’s to be expected. But the government is shut down.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"We're just a bunch of ranchers from South Dakota — it's hard for our voices to be heard," he said, sitting at the kitchen table at dawn Friday, drinking coffee, fielding calls from fellow cattlemen. "You see crises across the country, the hurricanes and tornadoes, and officials are right on top of it. But something of this magnitude, that has just about leveled this part of the country, and there's nothing."

Again, I feel you, buddy. I really do. Completely. The government needs to help you farmers out. Please tell us how you feel about the shutdown that the GOP and conservatives caused that is now personally affecting you.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Many residents in this conservative region had supported the government shutdown as a way to make Washington more fiscally responsible. "But one appropriate role for these guys is to lend a hand after disasters like this," Christen said, "and they're not here."

Errrr. . .stop! You supported the government shutdown? And are now complaining that the shutdown is affecting you personally. WTF is this?

I see. . .a poor family that needs foot assistance needs to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and stop sucking the government teat. “Real Americans” like you, Mr. Reder, will run to the government with their hands out in case their cattle is killed. To which I believe a good “you’re a flippin’ hypocrite” is exactly what you need. Save your own cattle, buddy. . .not with my tax dollars!

Sound familiar, Scott? Because we all just want Washington “more fiscally responsible.”

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]John Boehner[/font]


Orange Glo got spanked. I mean, spanked hard. I mean, spanked that brings new meaning and a new definition to spanking. Talk about backing the wrong horse all the way to the bottom of the ocean.

Let’s look at the fallout from the Ohio Tearduct’s massively amazing blunder. First, he tries to show he’s not the WORST SPEAKER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME by pulling a debt bill at the last minute, signaling that maybe the default was on. . .all because the Spineless Sack of Tweed from Ohio couldn’t stand up to the NGO Heritage Foundation and put the “country first.”

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]House Republicans abruptly postponed a meeting late Tuesday that would have advanced a GOP proposal to end the ongoing government shutdown and avert a looming default. The meeting of the House Rules Committee would have teed up a late-evening vote on the Republican bill, but its delay throws into question whether House Speaker John Boehner has enough conservative support to pass it. The new legislation would fund the government until Dec. 15, raise the debt ceiling until Feb. 7.

It would also strip lawmakers, their staff and members of the Obama administration of subsidies to buy insurance through the Affordable Care Act’s exchanges. But some House conservatives indicated that the proposal doesn’t do enough to change the health care law. Heritage Action for America, a prominent conservative group, announced that it would “key vote” legislative action on this proposal, holding “yes” votes against politically vulnerable Republicans.

“Unfortunately, the proposed deal will do nothing to stop Obamacare’s massive new entitlements from taking root — radically changing the nature of American health care,” the group said in a statement.

Of course, the others in the GOP are stunned at the lack of leadership by their leaders and the pandering to fringe, far-right groups that don’t really care about anyone outside of themselves. They spun and spun, but it didn’t hide the fact that, by the end of the day, the writing was on the wall. In fact, even the complicate media started calling Boner on his boner.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Politico called Boehner's efforts a "disaster."

The Washington Post described it as a "humiliating failure," and said Boehner and his leadership colleagues had " lost all control of their majority."

An editorial from the arch-conservative Wall Street Journal board fumed about the GOP strategy, saying that the House caucus "might as well hand the Speaker's gavel to Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid" and urging Republicans to give up their fight.

Things were not much better on the morning shows.

"After a shutdown that lasted 16 days, a shutdown led by House Republicans...by the end of today, those Republicans may leave with little to nothing to show for it," NBC's Peter Alexander said.

"House Republicans are the clear losers," was how ABC's Jon Karl put it. "They pushed to the brink and have nothing to show for it."

When Matt Drudge says that Nancy Pelosi will be the next Speaker of the House, you know it’s over. So why did this happen? Picking a losing issue? Maybe. Underestimating Barack Obama’s resolve and backbone. Possibly. Not being able to control your caucus because you are a drunken, orange colored, inept waste of tears? Oh hell yeah!

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]One pocket of internal Republican opposition focused on Boehner’s plan to slash government contribution to health insurance for Capitol Hill aides. Boehner and his top lieutenants had already proposed that lawmakers, Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and political appointees at executive-branch agencies should lose the subsidy. But when Boehner expanded that ban to thousands of Hill staffers, a solid bloc of GOP lawmakers told Boehner they would oppose the bill.

Boehner still tried to press on. Another rebellious faction believes repealing the medical-device tax was nothing but a giveaway to corporate America, not a part of Obamacare that should be erased.

And then there were the conservatives, who looked at Boehner, Cantor, and McCarthy’s plan, didn’t see any serious attempt to defund or repeal Obamacare, and took a pass. Several lawmakers in this group, sources say, were conservative House Republican freshmen.

So, the Republican voice of reason is uber-bigot and arrogant ass Peter King of NY, who actually sort of told it like it is.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"This party is going nuts," King told HuffPost. "So many people I run into who are normal people -- and I hate to use that term -- they just can't understand what's going on."

"On this one they can't even see both sides," King said. "They just think Republicans are crazy. That's it. They see no justification for any of this." He added that the compromise House leaders were pushing actually did little to affect Obamacare, except to force the federal government to stop contributing its share to congressional staffers' health insurance. "Even if this bill passed tonight, what would it have done?"

King said. "After shutting down the government for two and a half weeks, laying off 800,000 people, all the damage we caused, all we would end up doing was taking away health insurance from congressional employees. That's it? That's what you go to war for? That's what we shut down the United States government for?"

To which I must ask Peter King. . .going? Where have you been since 1980?

***UPDATE***

Tea partiers are throwing Orange Glo under the bus BIG TIME. Check out his Facebook at all the wonderful comments. When Republicans eat, they love the taste of Republican. Here are a few of their missives to the Ohio Tearduct.

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• You are disgusting! RINO!
• I can't believe they let you stay in the party, let alone the speaker. Go to hell asshole!
• BULLSHIT!! You sold us out!! You spineless coward! You are a complete dumb fuck, a failure, AND a fraud.
• I hope you and the rest that caved get tea-partied in the next elections…may your own self interest be the death of your political career.
• Thanks for NOTHING!! You are DEFINITELY NO LEADER!!
• Stick House rule 368 up your ass and spin on it.
• You are the worst human being currently alive. Do the world a favor and slink back under the rock you were born under. Your very existence is a tragedy.
• Go crawl in a hole and STFU! Happy Retirement!
• Asshole Sellout! You put Judas to shame!
• Hey Benedict, they’re having a special on group impeachments and your name has risen rather high on the list.

Couldn’t happen to a more useless piece of slime. By the way, use this website to see more of their words for John of Orange and maybe you can entertain yourself and come up with your own.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Rush Limbaugh[/font]


Actual leader of the Republican Party and Conservative Propaganda Minister Rush Limbaugh decided to come into the fray and launch bombs at the GOP from the safety of his Oxycotin ladened sty. Normally, a marginal, drug addicted gasbag doesn’t make it on to the list because he’s completely small potatoes and is about to get bumped off Cumulus Radio, but I found this interesting.

Apparently, Limbaugh looks at this as a complete failure. Not for the country. . .he only cares about he country if it makes his bottom line fatter. No, this is bad for his corporate masters, but he will feign interest in making it about the country.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]TONNAGE ON LOAN FROM GOD: "I was trying to think if ever in my life, I could remember any major political party being so irrelevant. I have never seen it. I have never seen a major political party simply occupy placeholders, as the Republican party has been doing. There has not been any serious opposition...against what's happening in this country. The Republicans have done everything they can to try to make everyone like them and what they've ended up doing is creating one of the greatest political disasters I've ever seen in my lifetime...I was pondering if I could ever remember...a time when a political party just made a decision not to exist, for all intents and purposes."

The Missouri Mastodon doesn’t seem to accept. . .HE LOST!!! THEY LOST!!! And now they are in self-delusion mode! You’ve never seen a political party so irrelevant before. Get used to it, fatboy. The Republicans are slowly dying off.

On that, I have better things to do than report on your Turds of Wisdom, Kaptain Krispy Kreme. I have grass to watch grow, a sock drawer to organize and have the desire to watch two flies procreate.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]GOP[/font]


Before the GOP decided to resort to economic terrorism to get their way, their prospects of picking up seats in the House and the Senate looked really good. Now. . .not so much.

I know the GOP doesn’t like looking at polls (unless they commission them and they get the results they want to hear, or it’s a poll that makes the Democrats look bad), but they really need to look at these.

First, according to TPM, the GOP’s national approval rating is just four points above HIV and Tapeworm infections.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The latest ABC News/Washington Post poll found 74 percent of Americans disapproving of how congressional Republicans are handling the budget negotiations, up from 63 percent two weeks ago. Fifty-four percent said they "strongly" disapprove of the Republicans while 20 percent said they "somewhat" disapprove. Only 21 percent said they approve of the way Republicans have handled the talks. The poll found Republicans receiving far more blame than the other parties in the negotiations. Fifty-three percent said they disapprove of how President Barack Obama has handled the negotiations while 61 percent said they disapprove of Democrats in Congress.

Only one thing can be said.

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Next comes news from the New York Times that the prospects of the Senate being Red in 2014 fare just as well as ice cream in the sun.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Next year was supposed to be a prime opportunity for Republicans to retake the Senate. And for a while, everything seemed to be breaking their way: a wave of Democratic retirements, a fluke in the electoral map that put a large number of races in states that President Obama lost, a strong farm team of conservative Senate hopefuls from the House.

Then the government shut down. Now, instead of sharpening their attacks on Democrats, Republicans on Capitol Hill are being forced to explain why they are not to blame and why Americans should trust them to govern both houses of Congress when the one they do run is in such disarray. Complicating the prospects, the grass-roots political force that has provided so much of the energy for conservative victories over the last four years — the Tea Party — is aggressively working against Republicans it considers not conservative enough.

To which only this can be said:

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]

Finally, House races in the gerrymandered House are not as safe as they appeared before this political terrorism. According to Cook Report, as many as 14 House seats are now leaning to a generic Democrat. This is not good, and will probably expand as a real Democrat starts a real campaign.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The Cook Political Report changed its ratings of 15 House seats Friday, moving 14 of them in the direction of Democrats following the government shutdown. "Mostly as a result of the damage House Republicans sustained during the 16-day government shutdown, we are making changes to our ratings in 15 House seats, all but one in Democrats' direction," Cook Political Report said in a statement.

House Republican seats Cook deemed more in danger include Rep. Justin Amash (R-MI), Rep. Tim Walberg (R-MI), Rep. Tom Reed (R-NY) and Rep. Mark Takano (R-CA). The Cook statement warned that while Democrats have acheived fundraising success recently, they still have a while before the 2014 elections.

And of course, I’ll let the most famous bully in the world say it best:

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]

Now go find the Ohio Tearduct and join him at the bar for a session of self-loathing, self-medication, self-eroticism and self-pity.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]
[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]GOP Fallout from the Shutdown[/font]


So, what lessons did the GOP learn from their crap? Nothing, apparently. Let’s take a few cases.

1: Paul Ryan (R-Pants on Fire) has decided to shift his budget crap to attack women’s sexual health. Typical.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Since negotiations to avert a national default on the debt have shifted from the House to the Senate, Republicans in the lower chamber are still hoping to use the talks as “leverage” to limit women’s access to contraception.

According to the Washington Post, in a private meeting with House Republicans Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) — who earlier this weak floated a compromise that would raise the debt ceiling in exchange for cuts to entitlement programs — railed against emerging Senate proposals and argued that the “House could not accept either a debt-limit bill or a government-funding measure that would delay the next fight until the new year”

Continuing the war on women. It’s amazing these scumbags have wives and mistresses, because I am positive they all do.

2: Lindsay Graham (R-Closet) used his soapbox to almost scuttle the budget deal if there wasn’t a vote on the Vitter Amendment.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Senator Lindsey Graham (R., S.C.) tells me he will “object” to any pending fiscal deal, unless the Senate concurrently votes on the Vitter amendment, which would end federal contributions to congressional health-care plans.

“We’re in a compromised situation, but I’m going on offense,” Graham explains, in an interview at Pete’s Diner on Capitol Hill. “Members of Congress and their staffs should not be exempted from Obamacare, and I’m going to insist that if the Senate wants to move forward on any deal, we have to overturn the ruling on congressional employees,” or, at the least, force senators to vote on it in the coming days.

Didn’t work. Nice try. Don’t you have some Muslims to encourage discrimination against, Lindsay. On review, the National Review needs spell checkers, being professional writers.

3: The GOP Children in the House are furious with the GOP babies in the Senate. Expect alot of whining and stamping of teeth.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]House Republicans were furious with Senate Republicans and President Obama on Saturday for trying to cut a debt ceiling deal that leaves them out in the cold.

Members emerged from a conference meeting saying Obama had double-crossed them by breaking off talks in order to shop for a better deal from the Senate GOP. They said the deal, formulated by centrist Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine.), would never get House GOP approval. “They are trying to jam us with the Senate and we are not going to roll over and take that,” House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) said after a GOP conference meeting.

Oh Jeez, Paul. . .grow up and compromise for once in your life, you scumbag.

4: Rand Paul now wants to continue the GOP War on the Elderly.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Sen. Rand Paul said Sunday that Republicans making raising the Social Security retirement a condition of raising the debt ceiling, adding a new twist to the high-wire negotiations over re-opening the federal government and avoiding default.

“I am worried about a government that borrows over a million dollars every minute. And so I think there needs to be some structural reform of our spending or we shouldn’t raise the debt ceiling,” Paul told WABC’s Aaron Klein in an interview airing Sunday night, and shared with BuzzFeed. “And rising the age on social security gradually a couple months a year for younger people is a way to fix the imbalance. It ought to be done probably for Social Security and for Medicare.”

Un-fucking-real. Did they learn ANYTHING???

5: Marsha Blackburn (R-Moon) has decided to have selective amnesia. Look at this exchange with Thomas Roberts on MSNBC:

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Thomas Roberts: Joining me now is Republican Congresswoman from Tennessee Marsha Blackburn. … Do you agree that no matter what something needs to come from the House that still has attachments for ACA?

Marsha Blackburn (R-TN): … We are going to take the steps to bring together components of a bill that we will send over to the Senate and be hopeful that they are going to take it up today.

Thomas Roberts: When it comes to Obamacare, do you hate Obamacare more than you love your country?

Marsha Blackburn (R-TN): I got to tell you something. I think that comments like that that you are making are just incredibly inappropriate. What we have to realize.

Thomas Roberts: You don’t think it is incredibly inappropriate to shutdown our government and to take all the hostages of Americans, that you have taken? No. No. No. It is not inappropriate because you have taken the government hostage to a shutdown and all the American people you are now walking them to a cliff, the economy. And you are going to push them over one by one based on the fact that you don’t like the ACA. That’s all it is. You don’t like the affordable care act.

Marsha Blackburn (R-TN): Listen to yourself. We didn’t want a government shutdown. Just listen to the way you are sounding; my goodness.

Thomas Roberts: On August the 6th at the Economic Club of Nashville you said, “Everything we can do. Whether it is the funding, delaying, repealing, replacing, all of our energy needs to be in every one of these efforts. I applaud Ted Cruz for getting out there and bringing this to the forefront. Did you not say that?

Marsha Blackburn (R-TN): Those are comments that I did make.

You own it. You built it. Get used to it, you witch!

6: Raul Labrador (R-Abyss) has decided to ramp up the War on Immigration again since the War on America’s Finances failed.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Rep. Raul Labrador, a key Republican supporter of immigration reform, said he doesn’t expect the House will try to find common ground with the Senate on a comprehensive overhaul after feeling burned by the budget battle. “Absolutely not,” Labrador (R-Idaho) said at a conservative panel on Wednesday. “If the president is going to show the same kind of good faith effort that he’s shown in the last couple of weeks, I think it would be crazy for the House Republican leadership to enter into negotiations with him on immigration.”

Keep winning the hearts and minds of the largest growing minority group in the country, scumbag!

7: One GOP Congressman thought the Budget deal would provide funding to Joseph Kony and the Lord’s Resistance Army.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Rep. Mick Mulvaney (R-S.C.) was one of the 144 House Republicans who voted against bipartisan legislation to reopen the government and raise the debt ceiling. In a statement explaining his position on Thursday, Mulvaney pointed to the "pork" stuck into the bill at the last minute.

"Finally, the 'deal' is full of pork," he said. "A dam project in Kentucky got extra money; the state of Colorado got money to help with its flooding; and the 'Lord's Resistance Army' received special funds. Those may be worth discussing, but that will never happen now, as they were crammed into this 'deal' in order to help it pass. So much for the 'clean' bill that my Democrat colleagues said they wanted so badly."

You know, because Obama’s a black Kenyan Muslim, he supports Joseph Kony due to black pan-Africanism or what-not. I don’t know. My brains are beginning to leak out of my head.

8: The Republicans are beginning to see the Tea Party for what they are and are declaring war on them. Man those cannons, folks!

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]In a sign of the internal backlash against the right wing of the House Republican Conference, Louisiana Republican Charles Boustany questioned the political allegiances and motivations of his tea party-aligned colleagues and said they had put the GOP majority at risk in the current shutdown fight. "There are members with a different agenda," Boustany said Wednesday in an interview in his office. "And I'm not sure they're Republicans and I'm not sure they're conservative."

Boustany, a former surgeon who is not known as the most outspoken GOP member, said he fears his party's inability to rule the chamber with its own majority is threatening its hold on the House

Threatening. Look at the polls, dude. It’s almost gone!

9: DU favorite gasbag and Texas Loon Louie Gohmert (R-Sanitorium) spoke again and gave us this duzy of a logical leap.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) on Tuesday amped his recent impeachment rhetoric by claiming that President Barack Obama was “getting close to a high crime and misdemeanor.”

Fox News host Alisyn Camerota pointed out to Gohmert that after two weeks of a government shutdown, Republicans were basically guaranteed to lose on their core goal of repealing, defunding or delaying the president’s health care reform law. “A majority in the House should be sign to the Senate that we need to negotiate,” Gohmert opined. “We have sent over compromise after compromise after compromise with ourselves. Our own leadership proposed yet another compromise and Harry Reid said all of the sudden, he thinks that’s a slap at bipartisanship.”

“He wouldn’t know bipartisanship if it came up and slapped him and said, we’re bipartisan,” he added. “So, I don’t need to hear any crap from Harry Reid about bipartisanship. He doesn’t know bipartisanship, nor does the president.”

Can’t think of something specific, Louie? Okay. . .we’ll call you the Queen of Hearts. . .sentence first, verdict afterwards.

These people learned NOTHING!

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Tom Corbett[/font]


One Term Tom Corbett of Pennsylvania has been officially thrown under the bus. His own party hates him, his approval rating are two points below HIV and even his own dog won’t come when he calls. Tommy is DOA this election cycle and will be thrown out of office.

But don’t tell Tommy that. He isn’t going away. In fact, he’s decided it’s time to take on the most dangerous people that could destroy him. . .the Pennsylvania GOP.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Party insiders have been trying to sell report to ,news organizations that the Party may try to convince Corbett to step aside considering his low approval ratings.

Our sources say Corbett will have nothing of it and instead has launched an attack against the record Democrat Allyson Schwartz.

She is a possible opponent for Corbett.

No. Let’s not do that. Stay in the race, Tom. Please. Don’t quit. Announce you will run for re-election on that great record you have. Sink the entire state in your hubris (while taking down the PA Republicans in the Legislature in Harrisburg), then when Allyson Schwartz wins (and she will), you can play “Wag the Dog” and say “you don’t change horses mid-stream.”

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]
[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Frank Balles[/font]


This entry will be done out of order. The hyperlink will be at the end and the excerpts will be out of order. Let’s meet Frank Balles, Republican candidate for the NJ State Legislature.

What has Frank done? Well, he decided to address gundamentalists. Mistake #1. This never turns out well for candidates.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The candidate, Atlantic County Sheriff Frank Balles, was discussing his Democratic opponent, state Sen. Jim Whelan, on Oct. 7 in front of the New Jersey Second Amendment Society.

Okay, he is on a stump speech with his base for the GOP. This is acceptable. What did Frank say?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"When someone's been elected for 30 years and he comes knocking on your door and tells you, 'Listen, this is what I want to do to help you,' quickly close your door, go inside," Balles said.

Typical anti-government, Ronnie Raygun bumper sticker Republican logic. Government is the big bad boogeyman, except when Hurricane Sandy hit, right. . .scumbag. Anyway, where does the evil come in?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]A member of the audience quickly interjected, "And get your gun!"

Ummm. . .So this is called threats and intimidation. You’re a sheriff, Frank. You should arrest this man for threatening violence against an elected official. What did Frank do?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Balles's response: ”And get your gun, exactly!"

Expect Frank to hide behind “I was only joking” and “if you were offended, I’m sorry.” Makes me very nervous about calling the Atlantic County Sheriff’s Office if I have a problem if the Sheriff things gun violence and threatening it is funny.

BTW, I am not making this up.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]A Republican candidate running for the New Jersey state Senate urged an group of gun rights activists earlier this month to get their guns if approached by his Democratic opponent.

Jeez, this is the modern Republican Party? Lincoln must be rolling in his grave.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]
[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Joe the Plumber and Rob Schneider[/font]


And finally, this comes from the “holy shit, they are still alive” file. My apologies to Rod Serling. . .but I have to do it this way.

“Submitted for your approval here is the cases of Joe the Plumber and Rob Schneider. One, a ne’er-do-well who is attached himself to a loser, only have have mild success as a second-fiddle. . .and the other is a bald idiot whose name isn’t even Joe. Each has a problem. A problem that can only be solved. . .in the Right-Wing Zone.”

Joe the Plumber decided to pitch his ideas about why people should not like or support Barack Obama. His opinions are pretty much meaningless, but take a gander at his tortured logic.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Joe Wurzelbacher, more commonly known as Joe the Plumber, wants Americans to "admit" they "want a white Republican president again." "Wanting a white Republican president doesn’t make you racist, it just makes you American," Wurzelbacher wrote on his website Oct. 10.

Okay. . .maybe his racism is just a misunderstanding. Let’s read more:

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"The election of a recognized black president was not supposed to change anything. In fact, it was supposed to (1) ease any perceived racial tensions, and (2) allow the government to focus on legislating without race. So America would be more free than ever to discuss the issues," Wurzelbacher wrote. "Not the case. And that is why having a white Republican president is best for the country."

OMFG!!! This was the prick John McCain paraded around as the real American man. A racist, half-educated plumber’s assistant? Most Americans don’t care if the president is plaid with purple polka-dots, Joe the Klansman. . .we care if he can do the Obama. Obama’s done a great job considering the shit he has had to work with in Congress. PS. . .go screw yourself!

And lastly, we have Deuce Bigalow, Republican Gigolo. Rob Schneider of “Copy Guy fame” has decided to weigh his irrelevancy into politics and burped out the first turd he’s made since his last craptacular shitfest movie six years ago. What did Adam Sandler’s water boy say?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Hollywood television and movie comedy star Rob Schneider, 50, said he’s been a lifelong Democrat but can’t take it any longer. He’s moved into the GOP camp and announced a switch to the Republican Party.

“The state of California is a mess, and the super majority of Democrats is not working. I’ve been a lifelong Democrat and I have to switch over because it no longer serves the people of this great state,” said Mr. Schneider, as The Blaze reported. “The last time I made a movie was seven years ago and that’s because we’re not being competitive.”

First, I take issue with the word “star.” Rob Schneider is not a star, he’s a hack. . .a shameless, unfunny hack. Secondly. . .when did becoming Zell Miller become the in-fashion.

Why did you leave the party, Robert?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]He’s fled the state to avoid the hefty California regulations, he said in The Blaze report. “We moved out of the state because of overregulation,” he said, speaking about Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s targeted ads to compel business to leave California for the comparative freedoms of the Lone Star state. “It isn’t helping businesses. We’re chasing businesses away.”

Oh. . .I see. Greed made you do it. Worshiping the all mighty dollar. Good riddance.

“Back to Rod Serling:

Two men with identical outcomes from different backgrounds. One saw his career end due to his lack of talent. . .the other saw his career end due to his lack of talent. In the future, Townhall.com, WND.net and other avenues of insanity will permeate their minds.

Joe the Plumber went on to fame being nothing. . .while Rob Schneider continued to kiss the ass of Adam Sandler while going down the same route as Victoria Jackson, James Woods, Ted Nugent, Dennis Miller and the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond. But it doesn’t matter. Each will find their happiness worshiping at the alter of Koch and Limbaugh. . .in Right Wing Zone”.

See you next week.