Transcript of secretly recorded conversation between Mitt Romney and Jesus Christ:

[hifiguy]

6. A colloquium - JC and Willard

Last edited Thu Sep 20, 2012, 04:50 PM - Edit history (1)

Jesus (whacks Mitt in the head): Just what is your major malfunction, Romney? So help me Dad you are dumber than a fucking fern. I hung out with the 47%. I was one of them, for Dad's sake.

MR: Aren't I doing your work?

JC: Did you ever read those books they wrote about Me? Particularly the parts where I talked about charity, brotherhood and My dislike of moneychangers and materialists? Holy Me! No, that's right, you read the book written by the convicted flim-flam man from New York who wanted a harem of groupies. Gullible, aren't you? When Dad wanted people to have harems of groupies, He created the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin.

MR: But it's the truth, he said so! So did Brigham Young!

JC (whacks MR again): Look at Me for a minute. I was an Iron Age Jew on Earth. You imagine there were people who looked like Me running around Missouri and New York? You don't think the Natives would have remembered a Jew there and passed it down in their oral tradition? Just how stupid ARE you? And when the eff did I ever say anything about magic underwear? You keep reminding Me just why I threw the people like you out of the Temple. Now get out of My sight you gormless twit. (poofs RM back to Earth complete with mule ears).