Has anyone here ever been in a medication trial? Because I have.

[TygrBright]

In the early aughts, my doctor asked if I would be interested in helping to test a new medication for the chronic condition I suffer from.

I said yes, of course... it's a miserable thing and if there is a chance at developing a better medication than the unpleasant, side-effect-ridden array currently available, it'll help millions, and I'd be proud to be part of that.

That was only the beginning. I had to schedule a two-hour screening appointment to answer questions and have a basic physical-plus-EKG to determine whether I was a suitable test subject.

Having cleared that hurdle, I had ANOTHER, more in-depth physical with a whole battery of tests (just about every kind of fluid the body secretes was sampled and examined, I think...) to establish baseline this-and-that.

Having completed that, I had to attend a 2-hour educational briefing on the trial itself, the medication protocol, "trigger" indicators for leaving the trial, etc. I was informed that there was no way for the doctor's office to know whether the medication they were giving me was active or placebo, so they would be treating me as though it were active.

I signed a bunch of paperwork, was given copies, plus a "guide" for test participants that included pretty much all the information that had already been given me in the briefing. Then I was given my first week's worth of dosage and a daily log to complete, and an appointment was scheduled for me to bring in the log, have a brief exam, and receive my next set of doses and log.

And that's how it went, for a couple of weeks. Since I know I'm extremely susceptible to the placebo effect, I was not too concerned when some side effect symptoms initially manifested. I logged them, but downplayed their impact/severity (on a scale of 1-10, I reported them as "3", but I was wrong to do that. They were beginning to really affect me.)

Finally, a few weeks in, my Dear Esposo sat me down and had a little talk with me. And demanded that I bring him along to the next weekly appointment.

By that time I was pretty miserable and I did not protest being pulled out of the trial, even though I wanted very much to be part of finding some wonderful new medicine.

My doctor was very apologetic that he hadn't probed deeper on those "3"s, and reassured me that in fact, I WAS an important part of the trial. Finding out how many people were made seriously miserable by the side effects was a critical function of the trial itself.

Fortunately none of the side effects I experienced resulted in any long-term or permanent damage.

But for anyone who thinks "human trials" is something that can be implemented quick n' easy with a telenovela ending, let me set you straight:

Human trials take time and effort and great skill to do correctly and yield accurate, reliable, and replicable results. The role of human subject is not easy or simple, and it imposes risks and often involves effort and pain.

This is a big part of why we only do human trials when the medications have been extensively tested in other ways, and why so many promising medications fail to make the grade in the human trials stage.

It's not something you can just... do.

Only a complete blithering ignoramus would think otherwise.

Oh, wait...

wearily,
Bright