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lilactime

(657 posts)

116. Back atcha. I'm shaken by how many posters think it's fine to put their hands on

Reply to MicaelS (Reply #113)

Sun Mar 31, 2019, 07:09 PM

Mar 2019

others whether their touch is welcome or not.

You go on ignore too.

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162 replies

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We must define acceptable and nonacceptable touching [View all] Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 OP

Here is an idea....When Men and Women pols are in public....NO CONTACT... ProudMNDemocrat Mar 2019 #1

Never happen Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 #2

God. this sounds so rigid and puritanical, like something out of sex-segregated Catholic School kennetha Mar 2019 #4

What I suggested is an IDEA..... ProudMNDemocrat Mar 2019 #10

THAT is a ridiculous standard brooklynite Mar 2019 #72

It would seem fairly likely that those who crowd to the front... 3catwoman3 Mar 2019 #128

What you are likely unaware of Ms. Toad Mar 2019 #45

oh c'mon. kennetha Mar 2019 #53

Wow. Seriously? cwydro Mar 2019 #64

A handshake. A light touch on the shoulder. kennetha Mar 2019 #68

A handshake is not "pawing". MicaelS Mar 2019 #111

To my knowledge he didn't paw her and don't believe she said that. FloridaBlues Mar 2019 #129

"pawed" was not what they were talking about treestar Apr 2019 #140

There have to be social standards treestar Apr 2019 #139

Not wanting to be hugged is not that uncommon. Ms. Toad Apr 2019 #145

No handshaking? unblock Mar 2019 #9

I loathe this new culture of hugging. CrispyQ Mar 2019 #18

So, the world is heading down the wrong path ... mr_lebowski Mar 2019 #40

Not the world Ghost of Tom Joad Mar 2019 #87

It's a personal choice that should be respected. CrispyQ Apr 2019 #155

Well, I happen to think THE MORE HUGS, THE BETTER THE WORLD IS! mr_lebowski Apr 2019 #156

We definitely need more kindness & empathy. CrispyQ Apr 2019 #158

Thank you! shanti Mar 2019 #44

I'm a boomer and a hugger. Ms. Toad Mar 2019 #50

I also think it's relatively new in the workplace & inappropriate. CrispyQ Apr 2019 #157

It's not new, it's very cultural Drahthaardogs Mar 2019 #52

Not a new culture. Igel Mar 2019 #98

In US corporate culture I think hugging is fairly recent. CrispyQ Apr 2019 #154

What if they linger on the handshake too long? Hmmmm. John Fante Mar 2019 #49

The smile thing might seem amusing but Bettie Mar 2019 #63

Yeah. That happened. nt cwydro Mar 2019 #66

Don't let some random idiot change who you are. Please. John Fante Mar 2019 #70

Why change due to one obviously nutty person? treestar Apr 2019 #142

Doubt voters will warm up to a candidate who appears germaphobic, misanthropic, or agoraphobic emulatorloo Mar 2019 #34

A whole lot of them warmed up to Trump, who is all of those things The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2019 #41

Plus no smiling. H2O Man Mar 2019 #71

interesting idea - i'll call it the "Fox News behavioral standard for Democratic candidates" 0rganism Apr 2019 #143

solves it going forward yes qazplm135 Apr 2019 #152

The person who is touched is the one who gets to define what is acceptable. lilactime Mar 2019 #3

What if that person is lying or has bad motives. Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 #5

Anybody can lie about anybody else at any time, about anything. lilactime Mar 2019 #11

Yep loyalsister Mar 2019 #60

Well said! I don't understand what is so hard to get about this! A male stranger lilactime Mar 2019 #61

It seems simple to me too loyalsister Mar 2019 #62

I feel for your niece, I was that way too. She's lucky to have you. lilactime Mar 2019 #75

This message was self-deleted by its author LAS14 Mar 2019 #83

And how are the people around you supposed to read your mind to know.... LAS14 Mar 2019 #84

Simple. Don't touch. Then they won't have to "read my mind." lilactime Mar 2019 #91

It's not hard to understand. But it's a picture of a society that I don't want. I want.... LAS14 Mar 2019 #94

And I do. lilactime Mar 2019 #95

+1 Kurt V. Mar 2019 #77

Does that mean the victim of non-touching does, too? Igel Mar 2019 #100

I hope I never meet you. Welcome to my ignore list. lilactime Mar 2019 #110

I would not like to meet you, either. n/t MicaelS Mar 2019 #113

Back atcha. I'm shaken by how many posters think it's fine to put their hands on lilactime Mar 2019 #116

It's been pretty instructive today unfortunately. cwydro Mar 2019 #119

You're right about that. MicaelS Mar 2019 #131

You know, this "Ignore" idea is a really handy thing. COLGATE4 Apr 2019 #159

what if that person is being unreasonable qazplm135 Apr 2019 #153

I am sorry the line between nonsexual contact with clear intent to comfort, support, celebrate and hlthe2b Mar 2019 #6

I agree that line is being conflated in the discussions on DU Ms. Toad Mar 2019 #54

He has... n/t hlthe2b Mar 2019 #55

He's made a start - Ms. Toad Mar 2019 #58

How is someone supposed to know ahead of time whether it will be welcomed? Are you advocating... LAS14 Mar 2019 #86

First of all - Ms. Toad Mar 2019 #89

I was talking about a hypothetical touching on the shoulder. You sounded .... LAS14 Mar 2019 #92

I am sure you are aware of the context of this conversation. n/t Ms. Toad Mar 2019 #96

Well, what are you saying? That I was somehow misrepresenting what... LAS14 Mar 2019 #122

Fine. Don't touch people withouth their consent. n/t Ms. Toad Mar 2019 #127

Well stated. nt LAS14 Mar 2019 #85

I suggest never approaching someone from behind and grabbing them by surprise. MoonRiver Mar 2019 #7

I agree that's a no-brainer! n/t pnwmom Mar 2019 #25

+1 spooky3 Mar 2019 #43

And the girls. roody Mar 2019 #8

Democrats are such precious patsies. You think the Republicans are having silly debates like this? kennetha Mar 2019 #12

Of course they aren't debating the question. Their guy thinks The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2019 #14

A VP touching a candidate's shoulder at a campaign rally in support of said candidate kennetha Mar 2019 #19

I agree. But teeth are being gnashed The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2019 #21

He didn't just touch her shoulder. Tipperary Mar 2019 #73

If I wasn't I'd put my big boy pants on and call 'em on it kennetha Mar 2019 #74

I do not care for her, and i do not find her credible. Tipperary Mar 2019 #76

A person might freeze kennetha Mar 2019 #78

Wow. Tipperary Mar 2019 #80

there's lot's of developmental psychological literature on this topic. kennetha Mar 2019 #81

You say you do not want to sound like a sexist... Tipperary Mar 2019 #106

cause some of us don't know how to fight kennetha Mar 2019 #109

Still then say something about it then treestar Apr 2019 #138

Not only that... GaYellowDawg Mar 2019 #65

But we are extending it to social touching treestar Apr 2019 #137

I think social touching can be misinterpreted, and I also think The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #146

Another issue is people do it to the same sex treestar Apr 2019 #147

Those people were already friends - that's the difference. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #150

That's going a bit far and will likely be alerted ... mr_lebowski Mar 2019 #47

Thank YOU! smirkymonkey Mar 2019 #103

No and they make fun of us for it treestar Apr 2019 #136

How about assuming that a person you don't know The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2019 #13

Some people differ: ret5hd Mar 2019 #15

Joe Biden is even older than I am. MineralMan Mar 2019 #20

I agree. I don't think Biden is a predator, just a guy whose boundaries The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2019 #24

Well, no doubt we Democrats will beat this thing to a pulp MineralMan Mar 2019 #29

Well, we could go back to bashing Buttigieg The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2019 #30

Meanwhile, the Republicans are slapping each other on the back. MineralMan Mar 2019 #33

I thought it was a good response too. Respects Flores. emulatorloo Mar 2019 #36

His life is a bit different treestar Apr 2019 #144

Totally agree with you Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 #26

I don't believe every woman's claim & I also see a difference in degrees. CrispyQ Mar 2019 #16

This is getting fucking ridiculous ismnotwasm Mar 2019 #17

If as a male you wound't rub another man's shoulders and smell his hair, kiss his head, vsrazdem Mar 2019 #22

+1 leftstreet Mar 2019 #23

I think those things were much more Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 #28

I think many women in the 70s and 80s felt they could spooky3 Mar 2019 #46

+1 Kurt V. Mar 2019 #79

Around 40 seconds in emulatorloo Mar 2019 #37

the way this has always been presented to me in harassment awareness training... Takket Mar 2019 #27

I was told when I was at work that my mother died. Igel Mar 2019 #102

We'll know it when we see it, elleng Mar 2019 #31

Well said. emulatorloo Mar 2019 #38

I can't help it, but I find the Biden "controversy" absolutely stupid. Vinca Mar 2019 #32

Well said. And if we're encouraging such fragility, we should stop. nt LAS14 Mar 2019 #88

I think that this is over the line. Igel Mar 2019 #107

I'm on the autistic spectrum where I don't like to be touched by anyone. hunter Mar 2019 #35

I'm glad you said this. I have a similarly situated relative. spooky3 Mar 2019 #48

I feel for your relative and for spooky3, but I think it is a mistake... LAS14 Mar 2019 #90

I understand your point, but in the case of touching spooky3 Mar 2019 #101

But I want the norm to be freely touching one another, with... LAS14 Mar 2019 #121

I can't agree with that. Sorry. Nt spooky3 Mar 2019 #123

No, "freely touching" should not be the norm. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #151

try to pick up on what people say makes them uncomfortable eShirl Mar 2019 #39

Acceptable touch touch consented to by the recipient. Period. Ms. Toad Mar 2019 #42

Well said. Nt spooky3 Mar 2019 #51

We also need to distinguish between sexually inappropriate touching and The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2019 #56

Moving from New England to Georgia to work at a university aikoaiko Mar 2019 #57

Why? What's deemed acceptable today is deemed unacceptable 5 years later. stopbush Mar 2019 #59

YES! GaYellowDawg Mar 2019 #67

I think the main emphasis was elsewhere. Igel Mar 2019 #108

I don't take offense GaYellowDawg Mar 2019 #130

I don't know that we need to define missingthebigdog Mar 2019 #69

I totally agree with you. nocoincidences Mar 2019 #93

Magnificent post. Thanks. n/ t MicaelS Mar 2019 #132

Wow! Thank you. missingthebigdog Mar 2019 #135

I love Joe but I would say this qualifies as not acceptable Quixote1818 Mar 2019 #82

It's folksy. Igel Mar 2019 #115

"We must define acceptable and nonacceptable touching" AncientGeezer Mar 2019 #97

And it behooves YOU to make that clear from the outset. MicaelS Mar 2019 #133

No..that's not how it works.....keep your hands off people. Peroid. AncientGeezer Apr 2019 #162

Who is the "We" doing the "defining"? former9thward Mar 2019 #99

Society. The Democratic Party. Sane rational people. Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 #112

BELIEVE WOMEN. PERIOD. nt MadDAsHell Mar 2019 #104

Nope, sorry, not every time. MicaelS Mar 2019 #134

+2 talk about handing the right wingers a gift wrapped treestar Apr 2019 #148

i dont mind any guy hugging me when its a huggable situation.. samnsara Mar 2019 #105

Intent and context are key. Midnight Writer Mar 2019 #114

Indeed. Right on point. Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 #117

OK, this accidental incident is going to keep me Doreen Mar 2019 #118

Did you get frank, or beans, or both? Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 #120

Frank and beans. Doreen Mar 2019 #124

Yeah, you're totally screwed. He should have sued your pervy ass. 🤡 Funtatlaguy Mar 2019 #125

Yup, I should be sued, I am such a nasty person. Doreen Mar 2019 #126

Sure. If the recipient is okay with it, it's acceptable. hughee99 Apr 2019 #141

I think Biden was wrong, but this is not as bad as most other metoo stories. Oneironaut Apr 2019 #149

judge Kav Daninmo Apr 2019 #160

Maybe the only answer is to have political gatherings take place in a Virtual Reality space. Vinnie From Indy Apr 2019 #161