General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: About an hour ago my mom died. [View all]Blue_true
(31,261 posts)This transition is life is shocking and depressing. Nothing prepares you for it, I have been through what you are experiencing now. Several things that I can share.
You need to get close to trusted family or a SOS, or a really trustworthy friend. The funeral and all of the leaving ceremony will happen, but the real, powerful grief won't hit you until a year or so from now, and it will be serious. You can fall into depression if you don't have someone that you can share your deepest feelings with. You will go through a day of activities ok enough, it will be the times that you are alone that will be the most difficult. I got through it, and other people have gotten through, I know that I needed help to get through it, have that available for yourself.
If your Mom was your last living parent, issues will now arise that you never imagined, especially if you have siblings and there is an estate. Money makes people do strange and horrible things, even blood relatives. I don't know whether you are the executor of your mom's estate, but if you are and you have siblings, make time during the family gathering and discuss how the estate will be handled if there is no explicit will. You may not want to do such a thing right now (I did not and did not do it), believe me, you will regret not doing it later after people start fighting over stuff. One thing the meeting should do is give you an idea of what you will deal with. You may want to keep things like homes, cars, investments, land for the family, but the best course of action may be to liquidate it all and evenly divide it, and get a signed declaration (drawn up by an attorney) from each sibling that they believe they were treated fairly. I hate to add this buzzkill in, but when you are going through the most intense part of the grieving process around a year from now, disputes about money could very well send you over the edge.
Take care