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In reply to the discussion: White DUers: Tell Your Stories [View all]NRaleighLiberal
(59,940 posts)I am going to treat this differently. let's see what you (and others) think.
I grew up in a blue collar town in New England in a lower middle class family. Dad worked 2-3 jobs once I was 12 or so, hardly saw him (before that, he did do lots of stuff with me- and I still consider him a great dad - my mom chose to raise us and keep house rather than work - she had the burden of her own mother - but that is another tangent).
In my elementary school, there was a tiny fraction of black students - same with junior high; in high school, a few more - but I would say that all of my school experience I was in the 98% fraction for race. We had other racial hierarchies and issues where I grew up - lots of Portuguese, some Irish and Italian - and I often heard my mom talk about not playing with that or that friend because they were (fill in the nationality). My parents were a different form of racist - but it seemed to be common in my town and across families - ignorance? Fear? Just repeating what they themselves grew up hearing and were exposed to? Who knows.
My form of torture was being bullied and picked on - I was overweight, and smart - not popular with girls, not athletic - and also shy. Elementary school was tough, middle school was awful, high school was torture. I can only imagine what it was like for the small number of Portuguese students, or the smaller number of black students.
In college, it was more like 75% white, and some of my best friends were black - we really didn't talk about it, and it really didn't emerge as an issue - we just shared common interests, became friends.
I freely admit - and I discuss this with my friends - that I am in that "privileged" group of being white and male. I never take advantage of it, and I struggle to understand inequality about anything - be it differential pay for men and women, and especially, the myriad of issues facing blacks and other minorities in our current country. Do I do enough to help the cause? Probably not - I am not geared toward activism, but am always delighted when my garden talks have audiences that are a mix of everyone you can possibly name.
I can't even remotely recalling being discriminated against for being white. Intense bullying make me realize what it is like to be shunned, ridiculed, hated, despised - that is really my only empathy touch point based on personal experience.
There are many things I don't understand about the world, about our species. My whole life I've tried to be part of the solution, not part of the problem - but I also can't admit to understanding fully what it would be like to be in someone else's shoes - but their stories are always extremely important to listen to.