February 26, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-8: 4 Pardons & A Penance Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-8: 4 Pardons & A Penance Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up University Of Wisconsin? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Next week you guys, Stupidest State 2020! Are you ready? I know I am! I cannot wait for the return of the NFFSA this year and I promise it's going to be a good one! And I can also guarantee that it will be more entertaining to watch than your local XFL team is this season! Too soon? Ah who am I kidding? It's so easy to make fun of the XFL isn't it? Do we have time for the thing? So Leap Day is this Saturday everybody! Yes, it’s that magical day that happens only once every 4 years when we gather to worship Leap Day William. Oh wait, that was on 30 Rock. No, it’s that extra day of the year that happens once every 4 years. And if you’re looking for something to do, why not get married… IN HELL!!! Yes, the town of Hell, Michigan, which only has a population of 72, has a deal for you. You can get married – for FREE – at the tiny chapel in Hell, Michigan. Because I mean come on, what happy couple out there wouldn’t want to say that they got married in hell? Although let’s face it – you’re in Michigan in February. Under about 6 feet of snow. That pretty much is the definition of hell in my book! Hey o!!! But there of course is a catch – it’s a mass wedding. And come on, what good can come from a mass wedding, am I right? But the real hell is for your outside guests – because like I said they’re in the middle of Michigan – in February. Want a white wedding? Well this will be a really white wedding! OK that’s enough of the intro, we got a lot of idiocy to get to but first John Oliver is back and he catches up with the high crimes and misdemeanors from India’s Najendra Modi and the rise in Hindu nationalism is particularly scary:



Another week, another round of conservative insanity and lunacy. In the first slot this week, is of course the guy who we currently call “president”, Donald J. Trump (1), and now that he’s been vindicated, he thinks he can let a whole bunch of his criminal buddies off the hook, most troubling is former Illinois governor and con man Rod Blagojevich (BLAGO!!!). Where is Jon Stewart when you need him? In the second slot this week is Julian Assange (2). And some extremely troubling new revelations from ex-communicated former California representative, Dana Rohrabacher point to a Trump pardon if Assange engaged in some election tampering at Russia’s expense. Shit just got real! In the third slot this week, is Bill Barr (3). He’s been dropping hints that he might resign due to Trump’s incessant tweeting and interfering with DOJ investigations, but will he really? Only one way to find out! Taking the fourth slot this week is the Alt Right (4). Alt Right snowflakes are melting down after “Gun Girl” Kaitlin Bennett, who became famous for taking her AR-15 to her Kent State graduation ceremony, went to Ohio University and was met with a mob. Or was it a mob? The level of intensity varies depending on who you talk to about the incident. In slot #5 this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and why were Delta Airlines passengers allowed to board a flight to Kona, Hawaii when they were possibly infected with the Corona Virus? And why weren’t they stopped? Our crack investigative team will get to the bottom of this subject! At slot #6 this week of course is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), and this week’s sermon – is faith based tourism coming to an end? Our resident pastor discusses what’s going on at Orlando’s “Holy Land Experience” theme park and other religious tourist destinations! In slot #7 this week is the return of one of our favorite segments – “Explaining Jokes To Idiots” (7) and this week, over the top daytime talk show host Wendy Williams is under fire for a disgusting joke about the murder of Drew Carey’s ex fiancé, and we’re reminded of another incident that happened last year involving the band NOFX! At slot #8, we have a new edition of “This Fucking Guy” and we’re going to profile Frank Amedia (8), the creator of a super far right pro-Trump prayer group called “POTUS Shield”, and whew, this guy is insane! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new “I Need A Drink” (9), and what are people bringing on planes? There’s everything from tents to miniature ponies, stop it people, just stop it! Finally this week, our segment that is our 2020 voters’ guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates”, is coming to an end. Now don’t be sad! We start Stupidest State next week! But before we go, we are going to talk about the madness that went down at the Democratic debates. Plus the palate cleanser for listening to my bullshit, we have some live music for you from heavy metal supergroup Sons Of Apollo! Buy their new album MMXX, or you are no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Rod Blagojevich
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Remember when we used to just lock crooks up? I miss those days. But with a crook in charge it seems like all the criminals who got locked up before him are now getting off the hook. Perhaps the most famous of these is former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich. BLAGO!!!! Yeah where is Jon Stewart when you need him? Yes, I understood that reference. But this week Trump pardoned a whole bunch of criminals who got locked up, mostly for financial crimes, but the most troubling of this bizarre series of pardons is most definitely Blago himself. And when you see the group that Trump included Blago in, well, it gets worse and worse!





Aw… poor baby! He served in jail a long time? Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time! Man, conservatives can dish it out but they sure as hell can’t take it. By the way if you want to see the company that Trump keeps, not only did he pardon Blagojevich, he also pardoned people like former San Francisco Giants owner Edward DeBartolo, Jr, who was busted for fraud. And former NYPD commissioner Bernie Kerik, also busted for fraud. Or financial kingpin Michael Milkin, also busted for fraud. I’m sensing a patten here but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Oh wait.





Except that there is no bad court thingy here. Trump pardoned a bunch of fraudsters, hucksters and scam artists. If we extrapolate this, does that mean that Trump is a fraudster himself? Of course everyone in this audience already knew that! But let’s go back to that thing that Trump said about him not knowing Rod Blagojevich. YES YOU DID!!! He was on the Celebrity Apprentice!! Kiss Trump’s ass and it is a get out of jail free card!





Ah yes, Celebrity Apprentice – the show where Meatloaf and Gary Busey practically murder each other over art supplies and former governors get fired for doing some poor research on Harry Potter. This is such a great time to be alive isn’t it? But there is an interesting development in all of these pardons – it turns out that they could have a huge damper in the GOP’s election strategy in Illinois – a key swing state, because Rod Blagojevich is considered persona non grata in that state!






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[font size="8"]Julian Assange
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Is quid pro quo a crime or is it not a crime? Well this isn’t so much an act of quid pro quo as it is a complete and total clusterfuck. And of course if former California representative Dana Rohrabacher (R-Kremlin) were one of the witnesses in the impeachment trial against Donald J. Trump, then this could have serious implications. Just because Trump was implicated on two crimes does not excuse him from the other 100,000,000 he’s accused of! And it doesn’t take a Harvard educated lawyer to figure that one out! So what happened between Rohrabacher, Assange, and Trump? Calling this entire thing a “clusterfuck” is a misnomer if there ever was one!





Yeah that’s kind of what trying to figure out this whole thing is like. So Assange was offered a pardon if he could clean up the hacking mess and say that it didn’t happen? After seeing the shape he left the Ecuadorian embassy in, asking Assange to clean something up would be like hiring Walter White’s pest control service to kill your bugs. Kills bugs dead! So how did this whole thing go down?





This whole thing is absolutely fucking crazy. And why is this already page 6 news? This should be on the front page with big, bold headlines highlighting that there was a former Congressmen in all of this and that the entire administration was in on it! These guys are completely insane. And come on, it’s Trump, he’ll give you a pardon and you don’t have to do anything! Just have your lips firmly placed on Trump’s ass! And his ass is big, it needs a lot of kissing!





Please!! And come on, if you think this whole Assange thing is bad, just wait until you see what he has in place for Roger Stone! Instead of 4 weddings and a funeral, this is 4 pardons and a penance. Getting the R next to your name is basically a get out of jail free card when they’re the most corrupt and out of control administration in American history? Yeah break the law and you get a slap on the wrist!






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[font size="8"]Bill Barr
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See here’s the thing Bill, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it! When you work for an unstable man child like our president, @realDonaldTrump, he’s going to break the rules and treat you like shit. It just goes with the territory. But there’s been lots of calls for our Attorney General, Bill Barr, to resign. The Trump administration has created a revolving door and an absolute mockery of the highest institutions in the USA. Doesn’t matter if it’s the Attorney General, the State Department, or even the White House janitor. Well, given Trump’s diet, I would hate to have that job! But why does Bill Barr suddenly have a beef with Trump over his tweets?





Well yeah actually Bill is the guy who is in the wrong here! Stop saying wrong!!! But come on Bill, are you serious? Have you seen @realDonaldTrump’s Twitter feed? Dude, he’s calling Adam Schiif an idiot right now! Oh look he used “Shifty Schiff” again! What a remarkably clever stable genius he is! And if you need any further proof that these two are stable, functioning geniuses who should be in charge of the highest levels, just check this out!





Dude, Bill, we need to have an intervention here. When 1,100 of your fellow attorneys are calling on you to resign, you should probably resign. Shit, even Bill’s own close, personal friends are calling on him to resign. Yeah, cue the Sad Hulk Music! We haven’t heard that in a while. At this point is there really no one who has called yet on Bill to resign? Maybe Trump but he’s claimed the Attorney General as his own personal fixer. That’s what happens when you’re run by the mob!





Dude, Bill, you fucked up! You trusted Trump! That’s what is going to happen! And you know Trump can’t exist without his fixer. I mean the average lawsuit against him is currently hovering around the $20 million mark. Of course that’s a conservative estimate. So really, how are you going to manage all those lawsuits? You need an asshole. Trump’s an asshole, Barr is an asshole. It seems only natural that these two would be compatible with each other!






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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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The Alt Right. They’re the younger, hipper version of the KKK. Proudly terrorizing cucks and libtards since 2017. It’s so easy to make fun of them isn’t it? And for a group who claims to hate safe spaces, they sure do need a lot of safe spaces don’t they? But like I said it is really easy to make fun of the Pepe The Frog crowd. One we need to talk about is Kailin Bennett. Yes, you know her as the gun-toting, 2nd amendment absolutionist who gained internet notoriety and a job at Infowars when she took her AR-15 to her Kent State graduation ceremony. Well, Bennett is the host of a talk radio podcast called “Liberty Hangout”, because they’re so cool and hip. Well, Kaitlin Bennett is one person who probably should not be invited anywhere, because she’ll get kicked out.





No, they’re saying boo-urns!! Yeah why don’t we file that one in Reddit under “Oddly Satisfying” because nothing is more fun than watching a trash talker get her ass handed to her. You can’t go out in public like that, honey after shit talking people. And then you can’t go to your safe space to complain about it later. This is the real world, you got to be tough!!! There are no safe spaces! Of course the degree of this event varies depending on who you talk to.





Wow, she seems like a real upstanding citizen! Not notifying police of who she is or the fact that she was going to be filming at the campus? Sounds like something Trump would do. So how does someone as crazy as Kaitlin Bennett become a media star? Well to become a star in the conservative world, all you have to do is launch a podcast talking about how much you hate Democrats and Hollywood, then retreat to your safe space when you get called out. And that’s exactly what she did!





Shut up!!! Yeah so in order to become a star in the conservative world, all you have to do is wave a Bible, shoot a gun, and talk shit about Democrats. It’s a winning formula! I’ve figured it out! Well, Kaitlin Bennett must be grinning to join Tomi Lahren as the Fox News blonde du jour. But really you can’t talk trash, and not expect people to fight back. And don’t go crying to your safe space the next time you get your ass kicked in public, honey!






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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Corona Flight
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Hey everyone it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!



News about the dreaded Corona Virus has everyone on their toes and wondering what is going on as news of the virus spreads all over the world. In fact how safe is it to travel as news of the Corona Virus spreads to the far corners of the globe and beyond? It’s not limited to just one specific case in one state or any states, or any countries for that matter. The Corona Virus is making it difficult to travel with place after place getting quarantined. So how safe are you on your next flight? Where are you the most vulnerable? Let’s take a look at some cases that may be arising all over the world, some maybe even in your own back yard. No, don’t cue the horror music just yet.





So with the Corona Virus landing in Maui, it’s safe to say that it has lead to all airports in Hawaii have begun screening for the virus. But what if you’re traveling to Mexico or Canada? Or anywhere in Europe or South America? Well there’s no telling where it could land next, and is one of the biggest nuisances lately. In fact if you travel to Italy you might want to have second thoughts, at least for the time being.





In fact at this point you’re probably better off sitting at home with a nice glass of your favorite beverage and some music. And seriously, don’t go anywhere, do anything, or buy anything for the foreseeable future, because you could probably die of the Corona Virus. Just quarantine yourself in an encased dome and stay at home. And if you do go somewhere that could come in contact with the Corona Virus, you should probably stay at home after you get home.





No, and in fact self-isolation isn’t the solution either. So what do you need to do if you have travel plans that involve a place that has the Corona Virus? Where do you go? How do you protect yourself? And no, wearing a tent contraption like that one guy did. But no if you need to travel and you want to know what to do to protect yourself ahead of time there’s plenty of precautions that you can take to make sure that you don’t get the dreaded virus.





That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Madison! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know I don’t like to revel in the sorrow of others. Because that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want, is it? Well to be fair, engaging in schadenfreude is kind of what these guys do on a daily basis. And does it not say in our Good Book “Judge not lest ye be judged?”. Of course it says that! But what am I talking about today? I am of course referring to everyone’s favorite Bible-based theme park, called “The Holy Land Experience”. It’s such a fun loving family destination where people can watch live crucifixion on the hour, explore ancient Biblical artifacts, and watch live gladiator battles. Just fun for the whole family! And its all tax free. Well, for them, not for you. So how is this dog and pony show losing money? Well there’s a lot of factors.





Yes, come to the light and see Buddy Jesus! He is the Jesus that we worship, oh LAWRD! You know how can something faith based, which enjoys tax exempt status be hurting financially? Everyone knows that the fastest growing religion on earth is atheism. And with such gawdy tourist attractions like these, why would anyone spend time and/or money on them? Well let’s take a look at another faith based theme park, The Ark.





You know Ken Ham and his flock also need to go to the light and see JAYSUS! Because he is the way and the truth, can I get an amen??? It’s no wonder that Christianity is on the decline in America, and if faith based leaders like Paula White are any indication, is it really any wonder? JAYSUS just isn’t selling and moving merchandise like he used to. So why open a faith based theme park in 2020 when there is a huge possibility you could go out of business?





Hey we’re on a mission from GAWD! So if you’re Christianity, and your Holy Land Experience theme park isn’t drawing the crowds that it used to, how can you be expected to make a profit in 2020? Because that’s what JAYSUS would want! He would want us to be rich and to prosper monetarily! After all it says so in our Good Book here! Oh and give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? Well if we want faith-based tourism, maybe our good friend Kanye can bring ‘em in! JAYSUS merches, after all, people!





Yes, we are serious, Kanye! How about you open up your own religious theme park! And you can sell $225 sweatshirts, and enjoy tax exempt status! That’s how you expand the faith-based tourism industry if others can’t! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Explaining Jokes To Idiots: Wendy Williams Insensitivity
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Yes it’s the segment where we in the comedy profession explain humor to people who just don’t quite get jokes. Or in this case someone who is really bad at telling them. You never, *EVER*, joke about someone’s death. Ever. Sure, we’ve joked about death, destruction, and mass shootings a lot on this program. Hell, we even started the Top 10 when the San Bernardino mass shooting happened. And that one hit way too close to home. But you know what? We never joke about a specific person. We joke about the politicians who put us in these positions. We joke about the circumstances that lead to tragedy, but we never joke about death. And never at someone. If you want to know where that leads, just check out Top 10 #5-3, when punk rock band NOFX, a band known for having a low brow, self-deprecating sense of humor, made a joke about the Route 91 tragedy while they were in Las Vegas. That resulted in them losing sponsorship deals with Stone Brewing Company and getting kicked out of their own festival. So you can imagine what happened this week when talk show host Wendy Williams joked about the tragic murder of the ex-fiancé of Price Is Right host Drew Carey. Yes, she went there, and as you can imagine, a shit show ensued.





Now see Wendy? That's how you do a Price Is Right joke! No one is getting fired, but you can bet that some heads are definitely rolling at the Wendy Williams show. So when you say something that ridiculously insensitive, you can only imagine the backlash that is going to follow. Made of course worse by the fact that we live in the social media era where everyone and anyone can say literally whatever they want, and you can imagine that Wendy Williams is getting some well deserved shit.





Yeah they should probably pull a Liz Lemon here and tell the entire writing team to fuck off. You'd think that they would have standards and practices and quality control and about a hundred other channels before this goes on TV, and someone would say "Hey! This is a really bad idea!". But nope, that ain't happening here. The thing about this whole incident though – the reason why we can say whatever we want is that we’re not on a major network! We have that coveted Wednesday at 2:00 PM slot at the local chuckle hut! Or the university commons which is where we're at right now! We’re not on nationally syndicated TV with millions of viewers! And this comes off after literally a week when she made insensitive comments about trans people.





So there’s plenty of comments about Wendy Williams both for and against. So according to Wendy Williams, gay men (or any men, for that matter) can’t wear skirts, and premediated murder is just something to joke about. Just a hearty gut laugh. Does anyone even watch the Wendy Williams show? Does anyone at all? Besides people in nail salons during their lunch breaks? Oh was that insensitive? Yeah see what I did there? Only difference is, I don’t command a national audience! At least Ms. Williams apologized to one part of her audience.






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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Frank Amedia
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This week’s This Fucking Guy is Frank Amedia. You may not know the name but he’s a far right Trump loving pastor and creator of a group called POTUS Shield. Of course only in the Trump administration could such a group exist. And if you guessed that this group is steeped in some super far right, batshit crazy conspiracy theories, well, you guessed correctly! Like what? Well, the Corona Virus is probably the worst thing to come out of a Chinese fish market since that piece of Tilapia that you ate at Applebees that gave you food poisoning. Well, POTUS Shield has an opinion on that, and it’s about as crazy as you might expect.





Yeah it’s becoming increasingly a common pattern among these kooks is to say the most absolutely batshit crazy thing that comes to mind. But the Christian right is getting really dangerous with their rhetoric and groups like POTUS Shield aren’t helping things. And here’s where things get scary – in an era where the Christian right is amping up its’ game on the abortion front, maybe don’t call the impeachment effort a “political abortion”. Yeah that’s a very poor choice of words!





I’m pretty sure that somewhere, even Jesus is going “fuck this shit”. But yeah that’s a very poor choice of words there, Frank. And by the way in case you’re wondering which God people like Frank Amedia worship, it’s not the fun loving father of Jesus presented in the New Testament. No, they worship the Old Testament God, the God that reigns down fire and brimstone, and is a raging, egomaniacal asshole, you know, like a certain president that they also worship. Yeah, that guy!





Yeah really, with friends like these who needs enemies? So let’s put it this way – Frank Amedia is the Paula White of Billy Grahams – just enough of an audience to go full batshit crazy with a bit of Trump’s over the top ego-maniacism. Do we really need people like Paula White or Frank Amedia preaching from inside the White House? I’m pretty sure that’s how dictators are created. And if you see the way that the world is heading, that’s the last thing we need!





Yeah with these two at the helm of far right Christian conspiracy theorists, is it any wonder that we’re doomed? Doomed, I tell you! That’s Frank Amedia, this week’s:




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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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I’m sure that I don’t have to tell you that when the news gets way too dark, the only solution is to kick back with your favorite beverage, chill out, and talk about literally anything else. So that’s what we do here is to bring the lighter side of the news while imbibing our favorite beverages. This week we’re going to talk about planes. Of course, traveling has been miserable since 9/11 but these days it’s getting way more entertaining. So tell me bartender what goes well with a story about travel? Oh you mean that I can have anything I want as long as it’s served in those tiny liquor bottles? OK then I will take an airplane sized Jack & Coke thanks. Anyway, hysteria, stupidity, and misinformation surrounding the Corona Virus is a thing. And this guy, in a perfectly normal flight from Cincinatti, this guy whipped out a tent to protect himself from the virus. Or so he thought.





Come on dude, you do realize that thing has holes in it right? You’re about as safe as if you wore laser proof sunglasses to protect you from a laser pointer. But if the Corona Virus is inhibiting your travel plans, there’s plenty of other things that you should probably stay away from the next time you board your next trip. Like emotional support animals for instance. Can we please let this trend just fucking die already?





Thank god! If I get on a plane and I have to sit next to someone’s emotional support parrot, I’m getting off that plane! Whether it’s strange guys in tents or your next door neighbor’s emotional support donkey, there’s plenty of reasons why you might want to make your next trip to Oklahoma City a road trip. Like for instance, no, I don’t need a donkey on my next flight to Detroit, OK? There’s a reason why people haven’t been allowed to bring pets like this on planes!





Yeah I need to chug some beers like Steve Austin does! Because this whole thing is getting way out of hand. We don’t need guys in tents on planes. And we certainly don’t need your emotional support peacock on my flight to Boca Raton. Why is Florida immediately the first place that comes to mind when I think of this? This trend started with the super rich. You know what the only difference is? The rich fly on private planes! They’re not on a United A320 that stops in Denver! The good news is that this insanity might be ending soon, we can only hope.





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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep.25: The End
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Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! This is the very last and final edition of Keeping Up With The Candidates. But why is it coming to an end? Because we are head fast heading into the primaries. We’re going to take a break with our 2020 Stupidest State contest, and Selection Sunday is next week. That said, when we come back after our traditional Memorial Day break, we are going to jump into the deep end of the election. And as such, this segment will be called “Stumble To The White House (Probably)”. When we should hopefully have a candidate picked out by then that the Democratic party can get behind. Well the debate in Las Vegas proved to be extremely interesting.





Holy shit, Liz, where the hell have you been this whole time? If we can see more of that before the election, that would be great! Someone has to beat Trump, someone has to! Now the question is how do we go about doing this? Well, for one thing the Dems really need to cut out the Circular Firing Squad, because it’s not helping.





This is going just great guys! Come on, we need to get the lead out! It’s going to take a miracle to beat Trump and the Christian right and send them packing in November. So how? How do we get the lead out and where do we go forward and not backward? Because in order to beat Trump it’s going to take an army to do so. And last week I said that Bernie Sanders commands that army. But really why is Bloomberg still in it? At this point he’s the XFL of AFLs competing against the NFL.





Yeah and have you seen how much of a dumpster fire the XFL is this week? Whew, we’re only 3 weeks into the XFL and it’s the shit show that everyone expected it to be. Oh yeah and that seems to be about how many weeks Bloomberg has been in it. It’s like when your favorite team makes the wild card and they’re going up against the Yankees. Come on, dude, you’ll get lucky if you make it past the first round.





By the way normally this is where we would end it, but we got to show how Bloomberg is faring in cities like Flint, Michigan, and yeah it’s exactly what you would expect.

https://twitter.com/Mike2020/status/1232004382436274178

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

There is no next week. This is the end everybody! Thank you for watching. We will be back with our Road To The White House… Probably segment after Stupidest State 2020!





[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Sons Of Apollo[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, I am super excited to have this next group on! They are a progressive metal super group featuring members of a bunch of different metal bands. Playing their song “Goodbye Divinity” from their album MMXX, give it up for Sons Of Apollo!




Thank you Madison! We had a great time! We are off to Wichita next with the kickoff of our 2020 Stupidest State contest! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: University Of Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UWM Choir Club, Madison, WI
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
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HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
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February 19, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-7: Bromancing The Stone Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-7: Bromancing The Stone Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Ann Arbor? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Go Wolverines! It’s always good to be back in Michigan, but it is fucking freezing at the moment. Although we live in an era where people deny that climate change exists, so it’s warm by their standards! And we were just in Florida too, how come we didn’t stay there for the rest of the winter? And it’s supposed to be a short one since Punxatawney Phil saw his shadow, or however that works. Do we have time for the thing? So this is one of my favorite stories of the last week – everyone’s favorite sinking ship metaphor known as the HMS Titanic, was once again, involved in yet another wreck. Yes, the ship has been floating at the bottom of the ocean since it sank on April 15th, 1912. But it was hit again, this time by a US explorer submarine operated by the National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). Now what’s weird about the incident was that it went unreported for three months. Now it’s presumed that there was a treaty between the US and England about preserving the remains of the HMS Titanic, that was signed back in 2012 on the 100th anniversary of that tragedy, and this could have violated that treaty. But then again, this could have just been sheer stupidity on someone’s part. At the very least it’s a metaphor for a sinking ship. And also at the very least they could have used the Homer Simpson “It’s my first day!!!” defense. OK that’s enough of the intro, we got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first the long awaited return of Last Week Tonight!! And this week John Oliver destroys the Fox talking points on the concept of Medicare For All:

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Holy crap this week was quite the shit show wasn’t it? In the first slot this week, we’re going to do something a bit different. Two years ago, we lost seventeen brave souls in the Valentine’s Day massacre at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. So have things really changed since the survivors took on the most powerful of lobbies in the country? Yes, but we still have a long way to go. In much lighter, but also stranger news, Trump intervened in the trial of hardcore conspiracy theorist Roger Stone (2), and well, things went to absolute shit, as is par for the course. In the number 3 slot is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (3) and he went to the Daytona 500 and put on yet another patriotic Americagasm display to end all patriotic displays, and we can’t help but wonder how much the latest America orgy costs. Taking the fourth slot this week, there was a recent audit conducted of Melania Trump’s (4) venerable “Be Best” anti-bullying campaign, and if you guessed that it is having literally the opposite effect, well, you might be right. Taking the 5th slot this week, is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week an alarming study was done on Southwest Airlines and has produced some absolutely shocking safety violations. You might want to consider a road trip for your next vacation. At slot #6 this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week, the Christian right is hell-bent on putting holy warriors on the bench in every state and local government, and our resident pastor is here to tell you why this is an absolutely terrible idea! At slot #7 is a new edition of “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and we get it, traveling can be a nightmare, but don’t make it worse for the people around you who also happen to be on the same flight, because that sucks. In slot #8, Vince McMahon’s new MAGA friendly football league, the XFL (8) has taken off – to poor attendance and some strange rules, so we are going to ask “The XFL – How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally this week, in the penultimate installment of our 2020 voters’ guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates” (10), now that Bernie Sanders has taken off as the likely front runner in the race to unseat Donald Trump, he commands an internet army known as the Bernie Bros, and we are going to introduce you to them! And the palate cleanser, we’ve got some live music from the man, the myth, the legend that is the great Iggy Pop! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Remembering The Parkland Tragedy
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Two years ago, an unthinkable tragedy happened when a gunman entered the halls of Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland Florida and opened fire on unsuspecting students, killing 14 students and 3 teenagers. But this one was different, which is why we at the Top 10 are choosing to remember them this year. Rather than sitting down, the students and parents of Parkland instead began organizing serious change. We covered the tragedy in Top 10 #4-7 and Top 10 #4-12. So what has happened since then? A hell of a lot can happen in two years.





No, see, that’s the kind of humor that will not be used in this segment. See, we at the Top 10 have a long standing policy of not making fun of tragedy so we won’t try. And let’s recap – in the 2 years, David Hogg became an internet celebrity (and was doxed and threatened with murder), Infowars became a dumpster fire, Fred Guttenberg became an anti-gun lobbyist, and the March For Our Lives organization started. Oh, and also, NRATV got cancelled.





Yup, and I love that the NRATV got shut down because it strayed far away from the 2nd amendment message. Gee, ya think? But we still have a long way to go in the fight for gun safety, and it sucks, and people like Mitch McConnell aren’t helping. So who is? Well take groups like Moms Demand Action, for instance, who are actually trying to change gun policy.





Now we aren’t cancelling Moms Demand Action. And in doing my research for this entry, did you know that the NRA had it’s own insurance agency? And that it repeatedly deceived members? I’m shocked! Of course that kind of thing could easily lead to what we’ve seen in Parkland and elsewhere in the last few years. But in case you’re wondering, no, 2 years later, we’re not safer. Just take a look at Top 10 #7-11, where we covered a high school in Michigan that was being developed with mass shootings in mind. Or Top 10 #4-19 where Texas Lt. Gov Dan Patrick suggested that schools have too many exits. But the good news is, some strides are being made!






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[font size="8"]Roger Stone
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George Carlin had a now famous bit on his 2005 special “Life Is Worth Losing” about how rich millionaires and billionaires are all part of a big club and we’re not in it. Can you believe that special is now 15 years old? That’s insane! Well, of course George passed away 12 years ago and he didn’t get to live out the shit show that we’re watching with the Donald J. Trump administration. Because he is making members of the Big Club easier to identify. Unfortunately we won’t be able to get to his pardons and commutes this week, we will have to wait this week. But the shit show that happened with Roger Stone this week was something to behold.





If you're found guilty once, shame on you. If you're found guilty twice, shame on you. If you're found guilty three times, you might be a con manworking for Donald Trump. I'm just saying that it goes with the territory! So what can we expect from Trump’s fixer Bill Barr intervening in the Roger Stone sentencing? Well, he attempted to get the sentence commuted or even thrown out altogether, and failed miserably.





Yes, abandon ship!!! Now when a trial this prolific of a guy this insane happens, something that goes all the way to Trump himself, how are we supposed to take this? Do we take it sitting down or do we take to the streets like Bluto from Animal House? Actually this is more like Romancing The Stone. Or even better. Bromancing The Stone. Adding the “B” totally ruins it doesn’t it? Well, like everything Trump does, it’s dividing people straight down the middle. As if we need further division. Like Trump needs another mob attorney getting involved.





Forget it he’s rolling. I can’t wait for the Animal House style end credits scene of this administration when they start telling where everyone is. Roger Stone – buried under 1,000 pounds of tin foil. Trump – in jail. Pence – his cell mate. Stephen Miller – married 2020. Divorced 2021. See what I did there? Well there is some good news – at least for now we can rest easy knowing that Roger Stone is still going to prison! So yes, Trump, crime does not pay!



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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Did anything happen on Sunday? I know there was a the NBA All Star Game. There was also a PGA Masters qualifier. I did see the LA Wildcats home opener. And there was also a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that was hilarious. I feel like I’m forgetting something. Oh yeah, this Sunday was also the Daytona 500 in which Trump attended the event and in typical Donald J. Trump fashion, he held a patriotic Americagasm spectacular and turned it into of course a MAGA rally. And is it me or did Melania look very tense standing next to him? That aside, the spectacle was just that – it was a spectacle and we’re not sure if it was a spectacular one or not. I’d say not.





I love that movie. Now here’s where it gets weird – because it’s Trump, of course you knew it was going to happen. Way back in 2004, George Bush was the first president to attend the Daytona 500. And if you know how to use Google maps or look at a certain website that posts airplane photos, you know that Daytona Speedway is literally adjacent to the runways of Daytona International Airport, which produces some ridiculous shots, and we got this famous shot. Can we show that?



That’s Air Force One landing behind some temporary bleachers at the Daytona 500. Now if I didn’t tell you that was from 2004, you wouldn’t know it because Trump once again got caught lying with his pants down.





Will Ferrell seems like the kind of guy who would go the extra lengths for comedy by sticking a knife in his leg. But that wasn’t the only high profile event that Trump attended on Sunday. He quickly high tailed it out of the Daytona 500 and headed to… the wedding of his White House policy advisor Stephen Miller. Yes, someone agreed to marry that guy. It’s truly mind blowing isn’t it? And think about the cute little Hitler Youth they will create. Yes, I saw Jojo Rabbit. And for reasons unknown it was held at a Trump International hotel. Hold your boos. Also, hold your booze.





One can only imagine that’s how Stephen Miller, author of the White House border policy, how he was wheeled into the wedding. And I assume that when they removed his straight jacket and mask, it only got more awkward from there. Oh and by the way if you wonder what kind of family dynamic Stephen Miller has, let’s pause and reflect for a moment that this is one of the things he got as a wedding gift.






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[font size="8"]Melania Trump
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Every first lady has a cause that they take up. Michelle Obama’s was physical fitness, Laura Bush’s was history education, Hillary Clinton’s was health care, Barbara Bush’s was promoting literacy, and Nancy Reagan’s was drugs. Now in an unironic twist of fate, Melania Trump’s is cyber bullying. And it’s only ironic because she is married to the biggest cyber bully on the planet! So if you can imagine for a minute that is having a huge effect on the collective psyche of our nation’s children. Now before you scream “Oh won’t somebody please think of the children!!!”, I want you to think about the type of society that having Trump as a president would create. Needless to say, it’s created a nation of dicks.





Now this sort of thing is nothing new. In fact we reported this way back in Idiots #3-1 back in 2017. The only difference is that now the bullies have become self aware, like some really fucked up version of the T-1000 where instead of just simply killing you, Skynet kills you and then calls you a “big stupid fuckface libtard cuck” while you’re dying at the hands of a T-8000 and lying on the ground. In fact, Trump is helping America turn nastier.





Sure, it’s funnier when Bart Simpson does it. It’s a lot less funny when Trump does it. Really, how can you run an anti-bullying campaign when the President of the United States does it on an hourly basis and doesn’t make it any easier? There hasn’t just been one incident since the 2016 election, there’s been thousands. This is a major problem and it’s not going away any time soon.





I really wonder if Nelson Muntz is a Trump supporter? Ah who am I kidding? Of course he probably is, Trump attracts this type of person. But really, what this does is that it says way more about the parents and what they listen to and the effects that it’s having on their kids. Why don’t kids listen to more rock music? That would have a much different effect than listening to Trump’s shit all the time. Jimi Hendrix at least was part of a movement that preached love and peace. Trump on the other hand literally preaches the exact opposite of that.






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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Southwest Safety Audit
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!



Air travel has been in the news a lot this last few weeks, whether it’s related to the super virus out of Wuhan, China, or whether or not someone is punching the back of your seat. But this is one headline that you probably don’t want your flight to be a part of. Due to some errors, someone did something, and some FAA oversight regulations, Southwest Airlines has taken some heat lately for some absolutely egregious safety violations. Southwest is the largest domestic carrier in the country. But after these violations, you might want to consider taking a road trip for your next vacation. If at all possible. So what is in the latest FAA report? A whole lot of absolutely shocking allegations.





So like a certain president who we will not mention, Southwest used power and distraction to get around FAA regulations. So just what did they get around? Well one of the most egregious violations is that Southwest has lied repeatedly about the overall weight of its’ aircraft. Yes, that’s something that you don’t lie to the FAA about under any circumstances. Just watch a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm about this very subject.





Well repeatedly lying about information has got Southwest in a lot of trouble with the FAA, but what about their own employees? One group that you should never piss off under any circumstance is the mechanics. And that doesn’t matter if they’re working on something like an air conditioner, your car, or even the plane that you’re flying on that day. Which it appears that Southwest did. And that is what one would say is no Bueno.





But if Southwest has anything, it has a lot of explaining to do. And on top of that, some major damage control to do. The biggest question is what routes were affected and who knows about it? What can be done to prevent this and what airlines could possibly be involved? Well one thing is clear, if your future travel plans include the tropical paradise that is Hawaii, don’t use Southwest for your inter-island travel because it could be a big risk.





That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Ann Arbor! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Thanks to the unholy, ungodly Dark One, creator of all things bad and evil, who is currently sitting in the White House, our brothers and sisters on the religious right have seen a sort of spiritual revival. They are motivated, they are energized to do the good LAWRD’s work. But are they really? They are so steeped in their own hatred and propaganda that they can no longer tell truth from reality. That’s why they worship the unholy Dark One, whose name shall *NOT* be spoken in my church, thank you very much! But before we get into the meat of this week’s sermon, are these the people who you really want in charge of the judiciary?





Well if you think that sending your paycheck to her instead of paying off your crucial bills is wrong, I present to you – what’s behind door #2! Again, something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would *NOT* approve of! Can I get an amen??? I mean this is a Twitter poll here, they’re useless. And of course, with the way social media is, you just know that a thread like this is going to backfire on them. And boy did it backfire on them!





That is true, oh angel! Now so you have Paula White who can’t stop grifting, and you have Christian lawmakers who can’t handle any sort of online humor. So make no mistake – when super far right Christians say “religious freedom”, what they really mean is “religious discrimination for everyone but straight, white, Christian males”. What are they after? Well, their prize is the courts. Which is why they will put up with any boorish rube as long as he gives them what they want! That is not what JAYSUS had intended, is it?





But just remember, we’re not the ones trying to tell you how to think and who to vote for. We might be the only non political church in the whole country! Then again, that’s a mighty big “might”. And by the way, give it up for our house band, how great are they? Anyway, back on topic, you know what it is they really want? They want to bring about the end of days! Yes, rather than helping their fellow man, which would bring about HAYVAN, they would rather see the world burn! Because, Jesus.





Yeah because he’s doing such a bangup job isn’t he? They need our JAYSUS because he really is a miracle worker! Whatever they’re doing is not working if they want to burn it all down and appoint judges that will help bring it about! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:





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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Seats On The Airplane
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Look, nobody gets it more than we do that traveling can be an absolute nightmare. Especially when you have to charter for a traveling comedy show like ours. And we don’t exactly have the money that a professional sports team or rock band does. But the cardinal rule of traveling is also the same cardinal rule of social media: don’t be a douche. And if you are a douche, you should be aware that everyone on the plane has a cell phone. And those cell phones have cameras. And you can see where I am going with this. Thanks to in flight wifi, those phones are capable of posting video of you being a douche on social media. That’s where this latest video comes in. But no matter which side you fall on the fence on this argument, you can’t help but wonder if the airlines bring this on or not.





Damn it, I specifically requested not to be seated next to Stewie! But here’s the thing – do we really need to get the actual airlines involved in this one? It really is their fault that we’re crammed like sardines on a plane traveling from Dallas to Boca Raton to visit Nana and Pop Pop. Well maybe that’s not all travel but we’re using it for this scenario. And this is where a circular firing squad turns absolutely ridiculous.





And maybe that’s why you don’t fly in vehicles designed by Peter Griffin. Although people, here’s the thing, yeah this guy was a douche. Yeah this woman totally blew this out of proportion. And yes, this sparked a debate that’s really been going on since the invention of the airplane. Sure you could ask the person in the row behind you if it’s OK to recline. But I know airline passengers, they are not like that at all! But you know one thing you should never do? Sue. That’s right, this insane debate is being turned into a legal matter! Because, money.





But here’s the thing – these days airlines are trying to cram as many flights on a plane as possible because, profit. And also greed, but mainly profit. But when it comes to economy class, let’s face it, we’re screwed. If you think the guy punching you in the back of the seat is bad, well, just wait until they can punch you right to your face! Yes, this is one of many insane designs being touted by airplane manufacturers, because if there’s one thing we need, it’s the ability to rotate our seats!






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[font size="8"]The XFL: How Is This Still A Thing?
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It’s time once again to ask:



This week – the XFL: How is this still a thing? Way back in 2018, Vince McMahon, the chairman and CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, announced that he was bringing back his once-failed NFL rival, the XFL. And this time around it was going to have a more conservative, MAGA friendly approach after the Colin Kaepernick circular firing squad ensued. But let’s focus on one team first: The Los Angeles Wildcats who in their first week, got stomped. Which meant that for their home opener, nobody showed up. Yes, they have abysmal attendance ratings and a poor quarterback to blame for why the team is currently in last place.





Yes, the X is for Xtreme! So the Los Angeles Chargers and the LA Rams are struggling to get fans to attend games, but then come the Wildcats of the XFL and say “hold my beer”! Well, despite the extremely poor attendance, makes things even worse when the Wildcats fired their defensive coordinator literally after the first game. Guess you could say that things are going well for that particular team?





You could say that the LA Wildcats are a dumpster fire of an organization, but that’s the least of this league’s problems. So what is the XFL and why do we need it? There’s plenty of professional and semi-professional leagues around the globe. But this one is gaining the most attention and it has very few teams and even fewer people willing to go see games, especially with its’ pro conservative, MAGA friendly bias. Seriously, even the patron saint of quarterbacks, Tim Tebow, turned down an invitation to the league.






Well so the league has very poor attendance and teams aren’t exactly getting off to what one would call a great start. In fact, things are going so poorly for the XFL in the first two weeks of games that the stand out star of the first week, Matt McGloin of the New York Guardians, slammed his coaches because well, they didn’t exactly know what they were doing.





So calling the XFL a dumpster fire is definitely selling it short. Could it be improved? Yes. Are the between play interviews a good idea? Absolutely not. And are the games expected to improve and draw an audience anytime soon? Well that could happen because the XFL needs fans. Or it could not. But there is one thing you can expect for future games.





So bad quarterbacks, poor attendance, in between play interviews, and on field vomit. That’s enough to make you ask – The XFL:




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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. So who is dumb this week? I love this segment because there are so many stories of people being stupid. And it could easily be me or you in any one of these situations. Well, the Corona Virus is a thing that exists. While we are not mocking the deaths associated with the Corona Virus, we are mocking the media hysteria surrounding this deadly disease. Don’t get me started on anti-vaxxers, either. But really when media hysteria surrounding the super virus is at an all time high, it resorts to people being, well, stupid. We go to Hong Kong for this story.





You literally can’t spare a square if you’re in Hong Kong! Next up – remember the cartoon Popeye, you know the one that inspired one of Robin Williams’ best flicks? And then there was that character who always wanted to pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. Yes, Wimpy, thank you miss! Chicken!!! I love that clip so much. Well, there’s a guy in Albuquerque who took that concept just a little bit too far.





I love that so much! Wrong Popeye, there. Next up – we go to the Peach State, that’s of course in Georgia, for this one. So here’s the thing people, learn how to read a map. It’s not that hard! Because while Google maps is great, it doesn’t take into account every single thing that goes on in a given terrain, so when you do use their maps, be sure you know, where the roads are!





Yes the blue part is the land. Next up – Florida. We can’t ever have a People Are Dumb segment without mentioning America’s most penis-shaped state, the Sunshine State, Florida. And really if you’re threatening to destroy someone, are turtles really your go-to weapon? Do you know how slow a turtle really is? And the larger the turtle, the slower the turtle. Those things do bite though.





Finally this week – sticking in Florida, we have to talk about this unusually weird story out of Palm Beach where this guy needs some serious kidney dialysis. But he has quite the unusual quirk. Yeah he’s bringing a cardboard cutout of Trump to the dialysis sessions. Which of course the dialysis center in question put the kibosh on. So to recap – cardboard cutout, bad. Family, OK. Here’s more!





By the way I don’t know what’s weird – the story or the fact that the Guardian used as a stock photo, a picture of a cardboard cutout of Trump. I have so many questions! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 24: Meet The Bernie Bros
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Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! It’s where we keep all of the news, information, and issues about all your favorite candidates in one place! In the last couple of weeks, we talked about the Iowa caucus, the colossal shit show that happened at the Iowa caucus, and now it looks like we might have a front runner and that’s Bernie Sanders. Folks, I don’t think I have to tell you that in order to beat @realDonaldTrump in the general election, you need an army. An army of trolls. And you need the trolliest bunch of trolls that ever trolled. Of all of the 100+ candidates that have thrown their hat into the ring, only one candidate has that army. That man is Bernie Sanders. His trolls can handily take on the MAGAS. How you might ask? Well there’s plenty of ways.





Seriously guys, not cool. Bernie needs to have a running mate and this kind of behavior coming from supporters is going to probably alienate everyone who he is considering for a running mate. So the question on the table is how can Bernie control the chaos? Well, maybe he doesn’t. That’s exactly how people like Mitch McConnell and Jim Jordan keep getting elected. Even Joe Biden is telling Bernie to mind the bros.





Sigh…………….. same shit, different day! So where did the Bernie Bros get their name from? Why do they exist? And why like any group are they full of hardcore extremists and crazy people? Like the MAGAs, the Bernie Bro is such a distinct type of political supporter that they have their own Wikipedia page. But the actual origin of the term “Bernie Bro” gets traced back to an Atlantic article that appeared in 2015.





So are the Bernie Bros a threat to the Democratic party? Or are they a necessary entity in order to beat Donald Trump? Well, I say a little from column A and a little from column B. Now Bernie and Michael Bloomberg have been trading blows in ads, and Bloomberg recently took a shot at the passionate base of fans known as Bernie Bros. How far does this go?





[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

For the final chapter of “Keeping Up With The Candidates”, we’re going to ask the question “Is Michael Bloomberg a racist?”. Spoiler alert! Probably.



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Iggy Pop[/font]

My next guest is an absolutely legendary punk rock performer. In fact you can see him perform at Carnegie Hall in New York City on March 6th. Playing his song “James Bond” from his new album “Free”, give it up for the one, the only Iggy Pop!!!
https://media.pitchfork.com/photos/5d717ce547318e000977d846/1:1/w_320/IggyPop_Free.jpg



Thank you Ann Arbor! This was fun, we’ll be back soon! We are off to Madison, Wisconsin next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: University Of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI
Special Thanks To: University Of Michigan
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Inspiration Church Band, Ann Arbor, MI
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Iggy Pop Appears Courtesy Of: Loma Vista Recordings
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

February 12, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-6: Wheel Of Corruption: Dark Fate Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-6: Wheel Of Corruption: Dark Fate Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Hey websites, please stop asking me to review your updated privacy policy because we both know that ain’t happening. What do you mean my data was sold to a Saudi prince? Damn it, I should have read the privacy policy. What’s up Smashville? Ah, see my nod to the Predators there? How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Happy Valentines Day everybody! Of course Valentine’s Day is this Friday but we’re spreading the love a couple of days early! Because that’s just how we roll. So this is our 4th annual Valentine’s Day special and as always, this one goes out to the lovers in the room! And I’m sure there are many. And if you’re thinking of proposing, oh man have we got a destination wedding for you! It of course takes place in Las Vegas. Now when you think Vegas weddings, you think of the Elvis Chapel at the Aladdin or Chapel Of Flowers. Nope, this wedding happens to take place at Dennys. Yes, the same Dennys where you go to indulge your drunk food fantasies with Moons Over My Hammy, or your Nana and Pop Pop go to take advantage of the $5 senior slam. But you can get married for free on this Valentine’s Day. Yes, free! Of course if you want booze to go with that, they offer $2, $4, $6, and $8 drink specials. And my favorite part, they give you a coupon for a future visit! Or maybe Dennys isn’t your flavor, you prefer something more spicy! Fear not, the Taco Bell Cantina at Miracle Mile will satisfy your craving. For your wedding, you get tacos and margaritas! Yes, that is a thing that exists! 2020 is a great year to be alive isn’t it? OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back and he tears into Mitch McConnell on his latest New Rule:



Hey everyone the Wheel Of Corruption is back! Yay!!! It’s been a while! Holy crap this week was quite the shit show wasn’t it? In the number one slot of course this week is the Impeachment Of Donald J. Trump (1) and he of course was acquitted after Mitch McConnell rigged the trial, but it’s not over! It’s far from over! And man did Trump unload in an absolutely batshit crazy victory speech at the White House. In the second slot is our State Of The Union recap (2) which included Nancy Pelosi ripping up a copy of Trump’s address, while Parkland victim Fred Guttenberg got ejected after questioning Trump’s hard right 2nd amendment stance. In the number 3 slot this week is Rush Limbaugh (3). Yes, he has potentially terminal lung cancer but should we feel remorse for someone who has systematically hated our guts for 30+ years? We will weigh in on this subject. In the #4 slot this week – white nationalists (4) marched on DC while their favorite target, Portland’s Antifa, showed up in downtown and nobody knows exactly WTF happened! Speaking of white nationalists, at slot number 5 this week is of course our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and the FBI completed its’ annual survey of domestic terrorism incidents, and the results are way more frightening than you would ever have imagined! Taking the #6 seed of course is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and is anyone really surprised that Franklin Graham (6) got dropped from the entirety of his planned UK Crusader tour? Our resident pastor is going to get to the bottom of why the Brits hate the evangelist and his business. In the #7 slot this week, we had a much different “Beating A Dead Horse” planned about Kirk Douglas claims, but instead, we got to talk about the absolutely batshit ramblings coming from Joaquin Phoenix about milk. Yes, he used his speech to attack milk. In the number 8 slot this week, we have a new edition of our segment "NO!!!" in which religious right hate mongerer and fake coach Dave Daubenmire (8) is suing the NFL for an absolutely ridiculous sum of money. And when we say ridiculous we mean just that! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, is a new “I Need A Drink” and this week we’re going to get drunk and talk celebrity fragrances, and there’s some truly bizarre ones, in case you’re looking for a last minute Valentine’s Day gift for that special someone! Finally this week is a new “Keeping Up With The Candidates” (10). This week we’re going to talk about the aftermath of that colossal SNAFU in Iowa and what to expect as the primaries head to Nevada. And the palate cleanser, we’ve got some live music from The Lumineers! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Impeachment: Trump Vs Romney
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Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!



Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Elections
- Buy A Vowel
- Sex
- Clip Without Context
- Death
- Greed
- Spying
- Walls
- Food
- Elections
- The Border
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Whammy
- Community Chest
- Top 10 Investigates
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Intermission
- Double Whammy
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Keeping Up With The Candidates
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- Go Directly To Jail
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP!! Oh hey it’s one of our patented clips without context!



Coincidentally, I have the new Prophetess album “Warring Angels With Flaming Swords”, and it is a banger!!! Spin it again! Donald Trump! You know here’s the thing – conservatives have famously tried to claim that they are the party of transparency. Well, you can’t exactly be transparent when you rigged your own trial! And that’s exactly what they did. It’s almost kind of like that old MTV show Celebrity Deathmatch. In this corner, we have, at 239 (?) pounds, Donald Trump! And in this corner, wearing magic underwear, Mitt Romney! And not only that, Trump has not one but two dirty dealers at the helm – Kentucky’s Mitch McConnell (R-Turtle) and Mr. Moneybags prior to impending bankruptcy, Bill Barr. And with friends like these, who needs enemies?





You know, I never thought I would say this, but thank god for Mitt Romney. At least his moral code prevented him from going with the GOP cult. But he’s still siding with the religion where he has to wear magic underwear. But what’s interesting is that even the Mormon Church, which is famously hard right conservative, is starting to take a turn. So where does Mitt Romney stand?





Uh oh, Mitt Romney had an independent thought, it’s bad for the cult! And of course now that Trump has been vindicated, he’s going to go full asshole and get his revenge on the people who he thinks wronged him, starting with Mr. Romney himself. So where does his home state of Utah stand on impeachment? And where do they think Romney voted? Did he vote correctly or not? We will see.





Oh come on, you can stop booing now. So as you know, the way we’ve been polarized has been a thing since the Joseph McCarthy days. But the one person to defect has been Mitt Romney? I can guarantee 100% that I did not have that selected on my Impeachment Bingo card. But I did have “Romney kicked out of future GOP events” on my GOP Bingo card!






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[font size="8"]State Of The Union Recap
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Now entering the spin cycle! And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! No, a whammy!



Spin it again. Donald Trump. Folks, it’s been quite a week since the State Of The Union with Nancy Pelosi getting ripped by the Trump cult over her ripping up of the SOTU speech. That’s how you treat a wannabe tyrant dictator like Trump. Is that you kick him in the ass hard. Of course Trump is a guy who loves him some loyalty. And nothing more loyal than those who were invited to his Mar-A-Lago Super Bowl party or his SOTU in Washington DC. But if you double cross the cult, they will tear you up in the same way that Nancy Pelosi ripped up that speech. Here’s what happened.





Yup, that’s how you do it! But is there really a motive or a sinister underling to what Nancy Pelosi did to Trump? Really, Trump pardoned a guy who posed with the body of a child he killed in Iraq, and this is the hill that they choose to die on? OK fine. Let’s play that game for a minute. But in the 100+ years that the State Of The Union has been a thing, this might be one of the strangest ones ever.





Yeah pretty much. Now let’s switch gears for a minute. I have to talk about this story. I’ve been waiting all week and it’s been pissing me off more and more every day. During the State Of The Union, there was an ejection. While Trump was assuring gun nuts that their precious 2nd amendment wasn’t going anywhere, Parkland victim Fred Guttenberg, who was invited as a guest of Nancy Pelosi, got ejected for speaking out the way that guy shouted “You lie!” at Obama way back when. Hold your boos.




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Oh and if that’s not enough, this will make your blood boil even further! So after the SOTU, Trump finally allowed Parkland families to go to the White House for a symposium on gun safety. You know who wasn’t invited? Guess who. Yes, now you have my permission to boo even further. And why should Mr. Guttenberg apologize to these assholes? He’s sticking up for what is right.






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[font size="8"]Rush Limbaugh
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Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Something random in the news!





Come on, if you’re going to tell a bunch of beer drinkers their product is crap, at least come back with something better than White Claw. That shit is basically La Croix mixed with alcohol mixed with tap water. Why not just chug some pure grain alcohol like Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Seriously, was Florida Man visiting Brooklyn? Spin it again! Talk shows! Folks, last week it was reported that Rush Limbaugh has potentially terminal lung cancer. Which prompted an outpouring of support from conservatives everywhere while Democrats were asking the question “Should we feel remorse for someone we hate?”. Well the answer to that one is a very complex one. And there’s no easy answer.





Now come on, who knew that Rush had a heart to begin with? Oh now we kid, that’s the kind of joke we actually can make. And here’s one that isn’t. OK so Rush Limbaugh has said an awful lot of shit in the last 30 years. Among his greatest hits, he’s gone on Carr mocked rape victims, trashed disabled war veterans and famously had that beef with Michael J. Fox after his Parkinsons diagnosis. But you know what we don’t do? We don’t wish death on people we don’t agree with, even if they are ugly people both on the outside and inside. Just wait for nature to take its’ course.





Yeah no, we don’t encourage that kind of thing here. And if there’s one thing that you never, ever do, it’s piss off the cult. Because they will hold a grudge against you well into the next century. But here’s one thing that you should never, ever do – don’t ever, EVER celebrate that someone else has cancer, because it’s a shitty disease no matter who has it. And if you’re like the above teacher, really, there’s no time or place for that. Leave it to yourself.






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[font size="8"]Nazis On Parade
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Now entering the spin zone!! And it lands on… wait for it… A Random Tweet!!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1227040292060180481

You do realize that Larry David was making fun of you right? I mean if you watch the episode he claims that a MAGA hat is a “great people repellent”. I can’t even… . Spin it again! And it lands on… Racism! Now it’s time for *1920s news announcer voice* NAZIS On Parade On Parade! An EKO Initech Productions Newsreel! We go to the nation’s capital of Washington DC, where white nationalists took to the streets to demonstrate… racism? That’s just about all we can think of this latest march. Because what were they marching? And why were they covering their faces? This is one of the latest WTF events in the history like all bad things, it started after the 2016 election when everything started going to shit.





Yeah where’s that guy when you need him? I mean shit this gives new meaning to the phrase “some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses”. So first we had that insane gun rally in Virginia and now we have actual Nazis covering their faces marching through downtown Washington DC. Isn’t this certifiably insane? Of course we’re ready to go into CPAC and this isn’t helping.





Meanwhile, in Portland, the group that white nationalists hate and Trump fans love to take a shit on – Antifa, is back and up to their usual tricks. So here’s the thing – the Trump fans love to hate Antifa and they constantly refer to them as violent thugs. But really, if you read past the headlines, which they don’t, this was pretty much nothing. But that’s not what you would read if you venture into the conservative blog-o-sphere at all.





So here’s the thing – there’s two groups of protestors. Both wear masks to hide their identities. Both are run by lunatics. And neither side has any idea who the other side is. All that happened was – a war memorial got defaced, and that is not cool. But then again neither is racism. So while both groups waste time, it would be a great idea if before this administration is over, to Scooby Doo these morons and find out who they really are.






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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: FBI Terror Watch List
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… Chance!!



Nice! I get a Get Out Of Jail Free card. I will just put that away for later. Spin it again! And it lands on… Top 10 Investigates!



Terrorism is a subject that is no laughing matter. When it comes to terrorism, what is more likely to happen? Are you more likely to die at the hands of an Al Qaeda terrorist, or are you more likely to die at the hands of your hardcore white nationalist cousin who has a safe full of guns and repeatedly makes threats against the government on Facebook? The answer is increasingly more and more likely to be the latter. As world governments are getting turned upside down by extreme disinformation on Facebook, white nationalists are becoming more and more of a threat by the day. As such, the FBI is taking new counter terrorism measures to combat this rising tide of hate and white supremacy all over the globe after completing their annual terror survey.





It’s quite possible that the FBI’s hate crime division is working overtime, the last thing they need is a few more hate crimes tacked on top of that, Homer! So where can you start seeing white nationalists pop up in professions? Well look at the military where troops have said to their superior officers that they have seen instances of white nationalism and hardcore racism pop up in recent weeks prior to the FBI’s annual survey.





Yes it was. But the director of the FBI himself has warned that domestic terrorism is on the rise, and most of the arrests involving hate crimes involve white supremacy. And in a not at all shocking twist, the FBI is promising to actually deal with a lot of the hate crimes that are on the rise. So when Nazis march down the street in your neighborhood, you can rest assured that the FBI is watching them.





Now that the FBI is doing more to fight terrorism, you might want to ask yourself “Why isn’t the FBI doing more to fight white supremacy?”. Well, the answer of course lies in the Rage Against The Machine classic song “Killing In The Name Of” which has the lyric “Some of those who work forces / Are the same that burn crosses”. If that rings true, there is going to be a huge undertaking needed to sort out this mess after the dust has been settled.





That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, where does it stop? Oh hey it’s yet another Clip Without Context!



Yeah that will work! Let’s pray away a deadly virus! Right. Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Nashville! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation!! Is it OK to cancel someone who you don’t agree with? We live in an era where Nazis are marching in the streets and white supremacists have infiltrated our law enforcement, and pastors are saying extremely homophobic and sexist stuff, and nobody is questioning them on it. Now it could be the poison that is being ingested every day on your social media feeds. There is so much disinformation out there. And of course we don’t need people like Franklin Graham helping things, but I’m going to say that he should be cancelled. Of course, as you know, free speech is an absolute right in these United States, of which, I am free to mock religion as much as these guys are to preach it! And for that I am thankful! But what happens when a guy like Franklin Graham, who supports the unholy Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, when he takes his show on the road? This happens!





That’s right miss! Oh my GAWD indeed! And this is the same England here? The one that is embracing fascism and dictatorships with their new Brexit model? But then again, homophobia is viewed much more differently abroad than it is in the States! And of course, if you can’t beat them, what is the answer my fair congregation? Sue!!! That’s right, Pastor Graham vows to sue the shit out of the areans that cancelled him!





Maybe don’t call that guy if you’re planning a lawsuit! But that said, Mr. Graham is still insisting on going on his full UK tour. Because let’s face it, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and you must be a supporter of the Unholy Dark One, and the world turning to the Dark Side! But is Franklin Graham really a champion of LGBT rights? I would most certainly think not. And why would people come to listen to him anyways? At least if you come to my church – all are welcome and all are pure in the eyes of the LAWRD JAYSUS!!! Can I get an amen???





Except when there is judgement, good Rev! But even if you are cancelled at every single venue in the UK, can you still go there? Would you defy the Queen? Well apparently the concept of “cancel culture” doesn’t apply to the far right! Apparently you can be cancelled and still go there anyways! Now that’s funny because I don’t remember in the Bible where JAYSUS got cancelled and still went on an arena tour! Maybe that arena tour got reduced to civic centers and golf course country clubs?





So if you see Franklin Graham preaching on that free speech corner in Hyde Park, that might be the only place where he’s allowed to do so in the UK. And he’ll sound just as crazy as the guy next to him! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Got Milk?
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… oh it’s another one of our patented clips without context!



News Nazis, by the way, that’s the name of my new metalcore band. We’re playing the Troubadour this weekend! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Hore!



OK I’ll admit that one of my favorite films last year was Joker. Yes, it deserved all the accolades it got and Joaquin Phoenix easily deserved Best Actor. That said, he is one weird fucking dude. Do not give this guy an open mike. Because it really felt like a Joker speech. I kept waiting for him to say “YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE!!!”. You know what? Before we go any further let’s roll the clip.



Whew, there was a lot to pack in that clip. Now before we go and dissect this whole thing, we got to talk about all the people that Mr. Phoenix pissed off in this clip. So Laura Dern and Brad Pitt both had great speeches and then there was this. So while I’m sure his intentions were good, the message came off weird.





Yeah that escalated quickly. So in one sentence we go from talking about gender rights and equality to talking about artificially inseminating cows, because reasons. And come on, do we really need this guy talking about award speeches that criticize hard working, every day people? Celebrities aren’t like us, they don’t have to deal with credit checks and getting ejected from places and being denied buying something and maxing out credit cards. So Ricky Gervais, you’re not helping.





Dude come on, even the Joker thinks this is full of shit. And I thought my jokes were bad! But here’s the thing – why are people just griping on and on about cancel culture? Have you seen TV lately? Nothing gets cancelled anymore! I mean shit, Arrested Development got cancelled by Fox and they got two extra seasons on Netflix! And if you attempt to cancel something, it will just make people want to do it more, come on, we saw that with the Tomahawk Chip.





Well so thank the other actors and actresses, who might win awards on shows that I am not competing on, OK makes sense! But be careful about who you speak to, Joaquin and Renee, because you could accidentally piss off the wrong people. Except of course for the guy that we call president, and he constantly pisses off the wrong people. Yeah, don’t be like that guy!






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[font size="8"]No! Dave Daubenmire NFL Suit
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… CHANCE!



Stupid bleeping poor tax!!!! Spin it again. And it lands on… NO!



OK before we go any further, this is a topic that would normally be reserved for a Holy Shit but our resident pastor is tied up with news about Franklin Graham, the shit storm in Virginia, and the National Prayer Breakfast, so by the time he gets around to it, it will be yesterday’s news. That said, this is a big fat “NO!!!” and I really hope that he gets laughed out of court for this one. So our good friend Dave Daubenmire – the hate mongerer who calls himself a “coach” is planning to sue the NFL because they featured Jennifer Lopez and Shakira – two extremely attractive Hispanic singers and dancers, in very tight and revealing clothing. Now don’t boo yet, is the Super Bowl halftime show now a porno show or is it a Pepsi commercial? Let’s find out.





Holy fucking shit!!! $867 trillion??? I’d be fine with $867. Hell, I’d be fine with $86.70. We’re not exactly raking in that sweet advertising revenue. And I like that he’s including his local cable company in the mix because, reasons. It’s like when you sign up for an internet bundle and they try to sweeten the deal by including a land line. Ooh, land line!!!! But here’s my favorite part of this lawsuit. Does Dave even know what a porn show is? Or does he spend way too much time watching Porn Hub?





What is it with creepy looking old white dudes and attractive women? Why are they so weird? Well, Dave is definitely no stranger to that while also demeaning others who aren’t straight white, manliest men of all males. But really the second video tells us way more about Dave Daubenmire’s sexual preferences than we ever cared to know. Ew.





Seriously, Dave, you’re the one with the agenda! And I think we all know how you get your jollies, and I have to say, hard pass. You also know, nobody is forcing a gun to your head to watch the Super Bowl half time show. But who’s going to take up a lawsuit for $867 trillion dollars just because you got a hard on watching J. Lo? Good luck with that, and you’ll probably get laughed out of court at the most.






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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… Oh hey another clip without context!



No it’s just a bunch of idiots with too much time on their hands jamming the phones. But thanks for playing, Rick! Spin it again! Oh and it’s time for I Need A Drink!



Hey everyone after all the crazy and horrifying news this week, whether it’s conservatives throwing out the rule of law in favor of one party rule, or that conservative trolls were attempting to sabotage the Iowa primaries, or the fact that an uncontrollable super virus from China is most likely going to kill us all, the only remedy is a good strong cocktail. Or a beer. I’ll take either, I’m not picky. But this is the segment where we have some drinks and talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. This week, we’re going to talk fragrances. Sold by celebrities. So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a story about perfume? A plum soaked in perfume served in a hat? Can you even drink that? I’ll just take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Well, when it comes to fragrances, we of course look to one of the trend setters, Gwyneth Paltrow, who, with her venerable GOOP brand, helped sell this peculiar product.





2020 is a great year to be alive, isn’t it? I’ll drink to that! I mean really when aliens land on this Earth 200 years from now, they will look back at GOOP and go “WTF! Why hasn’t this species been conquered already by now?”. And really I’ll take medical advice from someone who recommended that women should shove plastic eggs up their vaginal cavities. Come on people, let’s get real here. As if that’s not enough, Erika Badu took Paltrow’s idea and said “hold my incense!”.





Maybe grounded up used panties are the secret ingredient to Sex Panther? Yeah probably. Now here’s the thing guys, you might be thinking “Where’s the This Smells Like My Penis” candle? Well I first off am sad to report that one actually exists. But here’s the thing – even if it does exist, there’s no way, shape or form it has the same impact. Nobody wants a penis candle in their face. Penis Candle, saw them at the Troubadour, by the way, awesome band.





Ahh!!! Damn, did I need that! But here’s the thing – no matter what brand of junk science you subscribe to – whether it’s Paltrow’s GOOP, Alex Jones’ Infowars, or some guy with an anti-vaxxer blog on Facebook, you should be aware of the key word “junk”. Sure, it might be fun to play around with junk science, but when your hair starts falling out and you can’t taste your tongue, don’t say that we didn’t warn you.






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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 23: WTF Iowa???
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Let’s give the wheel one final spin this week! And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Go to jail? Nooooooooo!!!!



Wait, I’ve got that Get Out Of Jail Free card! Sweet! Spin it again! it’s time for Keeping Up With The Candidates!



Welcome back to our 2020 Voters’ Guide called Keeping Up With The Candidates! Yes, we’re 11 months out so we had better be prepared, damn it!! So to recap, in the last few weeks, we’ve discussed the beef between Tulsi and Hillary, we’ve discussed the infighting among Bernie Bros, and we’ve discussed the dropouts including Julian Castro and Bill DeBlasio. Now that we’re supposed to be heading into the primaries, we may have a clear favorite. Or not. The GOP is still up to their dirty tricks. And they played extremely dirty in Iowa. Who was the winner there, we may never know for sure. On one hand Mayor Pete was winning but then Bernie claimed a surge. The real winner here out of all of this? The voting machines.





Well that’s another issue entirely. But that said maybe I don’t know, actually test out the voting equipment before you deploy it next time? Also, maybe don’t make critical phone numbers public before hand? I mean shit, I’m no cyber security expert and I could have seen this coming! Now that said, in a very “Well duh!!!” tone of voice, this could have some potential setbacks for voting by cell phone app. Gee, ya think???





You know what – if you’re trying to go for a transparent election, maybe don’t buy software from a company called “Shadow Inc”? I’m just saying. That said, what can we expect when the campaign heads to New Hampshire for the next caucus? Well, thanks to the Iowa debacle, you can now expect an Adrian Monk level of phobia when it comes to protecting our vote in the next primary.





Ah that’s the kind of thinking we need here in this election. But how do you prevent what happened in Iowa from happening again? On one hand, we have one extreme in Iowa. And in the other extreme, we have New Hampshire. Can you find a common ground between the two extremes? Can you? Leave it of course to my home state of California to come up with the solution. We think.





[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Now that Bernie has been gaining momentum in the primaries, we are going to take a look at his ever-growing fan base, called The Bernie Bros, and why are they so angry?



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Lumineers[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest has a great new album out called “III”. You can see them on tour this summer coming to stadiums near you. Playing their song “Gloria”, give it up for The Lumineers!
https://img.discogs.com/_ug1cOIqhdclrWp6fd0lWKkanDk=/fit-in/300x300/filters:strip_icc():format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(40)/discogs-images/R-14329383-1572346386-1728.jpeg.jpg



Thank you Nashville! We are off to the University Of Michigan next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Vanderbilt University, Nashville, TN
Special Thanks To: Vanderbilt University
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Vanderbilt Choir Club, Nashville
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Greta Van Fleet Appear Courtesy Of: Republic Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
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Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

February 5, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-5: They Came In Like A Wrecking Ball Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-5: They Came In Like A Wrecking Ball Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Tallahassee? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Hey I think this is our first time in the Florida Panhandle! Really how cool is that? Anyway, congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs on winning their second Super Bowl in franchise history. San Francisco 49ers, you had a great run and you can rest assured that Trump won’t screw up your geography in a tweet. Yeah that happened. Let’s take a second to remind ourselves of the fact that the President Of The United States doesn’t even have a basic knowledge of geography beyond a second grade level. I will repeat that in a much more angry, Lewis Black-esque tone: HE’S THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!! And he doesn’t know that Kansas City is in Missouri? Oh yeah let’s take a sharpie over the map and alter it like so… yeah that’s more like it! Because a sharpie makes everything more funny. We learned that last year during the hurricane debacle. I mean this is the kind of thing we’re up against in 2020 – a president who wouldn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground, and a party that is backing his every move with treason. Just how are the Dems not running off that? We should be able to beat the pants off this guy… yeah poor choice of words. Especially considering I hear that he likes that kind of thing. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back and he suggests that Dems play dirty in the next election and even gives them some free advice:



Wow, this entire thing is taking a turn every single day doesn’t it seem like? Well in the first slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president Donald J. Trump (1) and did he commit sexual assault back in the 90s? Well a new lawsuit aims to, for lack of a better word, expose that situation for the truth, and it’s funny watching Trumpers try to justify this. Pass the popcorn. In the second slot this week, we’re going across the pond to check in with Brexit (2) and this is it people, Brexit is in effect, and it has the potential to make a bad situation even worse, because that’s what conservatives do. In slot #3 is also Donald J. Trump (3), and in a not at all ironic twist of fate, some extreme weather conditions along the California border in Chula Vista are blowing new sections of Trump’s poorly built border fence into Mexico, and there’s a record length tunnel underneath. You can’t make this up. Taking the fourth slot is also Donald Trump (4). He held one of his rah rah MAGA rallies in New Jersey and his supporters left behind a giant pile of trash, and he’s sticking the city of Wildwood with the bill! Hardly shocking, I know. In slot #5 is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and this week are former members of the Green Bay Packers running a doomsday prepper cult or is it an innocent fellowship church? After a terrifying incident on Christmas Eve last year, it appears the former and not the latter. And taking the 7th slot this week is “Beating A Dead Horse” – sadly last week we lost Laker legend Koby Bryant in that tragic helicopter crash, but did trashy celebrity tabloid outfit TMZ publish the news of his death before the Bryant family had a chance to be notified? Harvey Levin (7) has some explaining to do! Taking the 8th slot this week is our segment “We’re All Gonna Die” and last week we reported on the deadly Corona Virus originating from Wuhan, China, but it seems that hysteria surrounding the virus has reached epic proportions! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new “People Are Dumb” and since we’re in Florida this week, we’re dedicating it all to Florida Man! And finally this week, we have a new “Keeping Up With The Candidates” – we are going to find out what the fuck happened in Iowa on Monday and the absolute chaos surrounding the Dem primary. And if you are like us and you think that voting by app is a bad idea, well, you're not wrong! And the palate cleanser, we have some live music from our good friends The Dirty Heads! I mean really, buy their new album “Super Moon” or you are no friend of this program. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]





OK now that we got that out of the way, we here at the Top 10 writers’ room spent much time debating how we were going to best approach this subject. Because we don’t want to go there, nor do we want to go into too much detail. But considering we’ve covered both Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, and Brett Kavanaugh, we feel that we have to cover the latest allegations surrounding the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. And we can’t help but feel a bit of schadenfreude at watching the people who previously trashed Bill Clinton are now trying to actively find ways to justify Trump’s behavior, and it’s not good.





Yes, oh shit indeed! So we have someone who is actively accusing the guy who is, I don’t know, the President Of The United States, of sexual assault! You know who didn’t assault anyone? Obama. There’s that comparison that Trump wanted. So President Goofus is under fire for this and rightfully so, and you don’t just go accusing someone like that of a crime like that. Except when they did it in the 90s to Bill Clinton.





Man it just keeps coming doesn’t it? Of course Trump is going to say that Carroll is lying, but considering it was so long ago, we may never know the whole truth. But if you look on the conservative blog-o-sphere, which we unfortunately spent a lot of time doing last week, their justifications are coming quite insane and furiously. Which they are saying that 31 years is a long time to hang onto an article of clothing. Really? That’s the best you got? Please.





WTF indeed, there’s no way Trump would tweet about this. Though we can certainly picture it – there’s plenty of ways that he could, and I’m sure all of them would end with “SAD!!!”. But of course, like the trash left at one of his MAGA rallies, he’s attempting to throw it out, but also like the trash at a MAGA rally, he’s going to get stuck with it while someone else gets the check.






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[font size="8"]Brexit Begins
[br] [/font] [br]

Let’s check in with our good friends across the pond and marvel at the just colossal shit show that is the Brexit election. As an American looking on from abroad, I can’t help but just sit in awe of the sheer insanity that has been Brexit. Just when I think our government can't get any crazier, England comes along and says "Hold my pint of Boddington's!". It started as a social media campaign and was filled with as much disinformation as the 2016 election was. And had the same outcome, which was to topple the government and throw everyone in a tailspin. Now, it’s official. Last Thursday, British conservatives, which you might know as the Tories, celebrated as Boris Johnson’s Brexit became official. The UK is going to leave the EU. But that’s the gist of the headline. They’re in for a hell of fight if people read past the headlines.





Yeah so Boris Johnson and his doppleganger Donald Trump entering into a trade deal while ignoring the rest of the EU? What could possibly go wrong? But British conservatives looking to pop the champagne should probably put the corks back on the bottle. It’s not that easy and it’s definitely not over yet. Oh no, strap in guys, because you’re in it for the long haul.



&t=20s

Yeah no, that might have worked on Animal House, but it doesn’t work in real life. So the question is, are countries celebrating Brexit? Are they telling the UK to go take a hike or are they like the pathetic ex kneeling on your doorstep going “PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!!! PLEASE!!!”. Well, Scotland could be the next great divide in the EU, declaring its’ independence from the UK. And that could make an already ugly situation that much worse.





Yeah so just like a group of cells, England divided from the EU, and Scotland could divide from the UK, which would make this worse. But this is proving that conservatives really are the same no matter what country you’re in. And for British conservatives celebrating this, yeah maybe don’t. Because you should know all the facts before you cut the cord.






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[font size="8"]Trump’s Border Wall
[br] [/font] [br]

This has to be one of my favorite stories of this week or any week. In a not at all ironic or shocking twist of fate, it appears that the only thing going over the border into Mexico appears to be Trump’s border wall itself. I mean the underlying irony of it all. And that’s something that Trump doesn’t even begin to understand, is the concept of irony. This is seriously what happens when you spend a lot of money on something that looks pretty but will break the second you touch it. That’s all this border wall is designed to do – look pretty and that’s about it. Is it effective? No. Can it be cut through? Yes. Can it be tunneled under? Most definitely. Hell, it can’t even stand up to nature.





Seriously, Wile E. Coyote couldn't come up with a more ironic trap than this. And here’s where it gets weird, because this is the Donald J. Trump administration that we are living in. Everything gets weird and awkward. This is an era where you can’t make up the news and it is super weird. But let’s examine what’s going on with the border wall further. If you expand on this, the collapse of the border wall revealed one of the largest smuggling tunnels ever built!





And that’s pretty much the extent of the actual effect of Trump’s wall right now. So Trump claims a lot of things about the wall – like it will stop people from coming over the border. No it wont. Hell, it can’t even stand up to the elements. The wall is even susceptible to flash floods and harsh terrain! Yes, it can be knocked down by winds. Just really, this is quite possibly insane.





Except it’s not the Mongolians, it’s Mother Nature! This is, like I said, this is what happens when you spend a lot of money to make something look pretty when it’s really just a cheap piece of shit. Think of it like those people who put Bentley grills on a 2006 Chrysler 300 to make it more expensive. But the bottom line is, you’re driving a 2006 Chrysler 300, Tom! You’re not fooling anyone! And speaking of expensive, crappy things, how much is this shit gonna cost?






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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

When Trump does rallies, they only show the rally. They don’t show the behind the scenes aftermath, of course they wouldn’t. He and the MAGA crowd would just attempt to pass it off as fake news. because that’s exactly what they would do if you showed the MAGA crowd the aftermath. Trump comes into cities like Wildwood, New Jersey and leaves behind a wrecking ball of destruction and trash and unpaid bills, and piles of garbage everywhere. Yeah cue Miley Cyrus… THEY CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!! I mean this is what you get when you elect a clown like Donald Trump. You get the whole damn circus that goes with him. So here’s how it originally went down in Wildwood.





Really? And you couldn’t have done a Google search to see the hours of footage from all the other Trump barfs his brain rallies? But then it takes a turn. Like what happened when they showed the aftermath of the original Woodstock Festival kind of turn. Sure, everyone had a great time, but who cleans up the trash and gets stuck with the bill? Why it’s the city of Wildwood, New Jersey!





Yup, they came in like a wrecking ball all right, and they wrecked the place good! MAGA! So yeah let’s show that photo for a minute. Hold your boos…



Well on the plus side, if I’m in the market for a folding chair, I know where to go! But really, trash should probably stay in the trash. And as for a MAGA rally, like I was saying, you know who gets stuck with the bill after Trump stiffs you on trash cleanup and security? Yup, the city governments, which means you, the taxpayer, get stuck cleaning up his mess!





Good question! And by the way in case you are thinking that this is an isolated incident, boy you are definitely in the wrong place here. Because there was a pro-Trump rally in one of San Francisco’s most progressive neighborhoods that coincided with a rally at a women’s group. And as you can imagine, things got ugly. If you want to know where all this is headed, here’s a sneak peak . And something that I didn’t know existed – MAGA drag. Yes, that’s a thing.







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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Inside The Packers Cult
[br] [/font] [br]

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



Football is practically a religion in some areas of the country. And then in some areas of the country, religion is defined by football. And then there’s the state of Wisconsin which takes the concept of football and religion to entirely new heights with their worship of the Green Bay Packers. The Packers are one of the only community controlled teams in the entire world, with the other team being Spain’s FC Barcelona. But what happens when they take their love of football and religion too far? Well that’s when you get this. An innocent sounding church in Green Bay, Wisconsin, run by former Packer Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila, goes by the name of Straitway Truth Ministries, has much darker and more sinister after hours that go on behind the scenes. Ultimately leading up to this incident on Christmas Eve of last year.





This incident raises many questions – like who was there? And who knew about the incident ahead of time? And also, what kind of fellowship ministry racks up enough weapons and ammo to take out a small army? Well, apparently Gbaja-Biamila has some friends who are very high ranking members of the church that may or may not have racked up all these weapons and ammo that were carried into the Christmas Eve pageant.





So is Straitway Truth Ministries a Christian church, a fellowship, or is it a scary Doomsday Prepper cult with apocalyptic end times fantasies? It could be one, it could be another, or it could be a combination of all of the above. But the cryptic language that Gbaja-Biamila has been using, and the fact that he’s refusing to cooperate with authorities, is nothing new. In fact this could be a symptom of a much larger problem.





Yeah probably not. But here is where the story simply gets weird. Not only are there reports that a Tennessee branch of this church is supporting them (Ed. Note: A subscription service was preventing us from posting that article) , but he actually went on Youtube to describe his role in the incident in the week following. Not only does this raise more questions than answers, but why go on Youtube to do this? Why not?





Yeah probably. That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Tallahassee! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know we love to talk shit on Liberty University here, and they quite frankly deserve every bit of it. For they are controlled by a very foul and evil supporter of the unholy Dark One, whose name shall *NOT* be mentioned in my church! And does it not say in our Good Book that greed is evil, and those who partake in the greed shall be punished by GAWD? Yes, our GAWD works both ways, does he not? But not the GAWD that Mr. Falwell chooses to worship, because his GAWD chooses greed and fear, and those are things that do not sit well in my church. But his Vexit plan is quite possibly insane. And here’s more.





So that’s it? You don’t like someone you think you can just pack up and leave? Well that doesn’t work in our Good Book, does it not? Can I get an amen??? Well in our Good Book it says to love your fellow man, and you should do that, rather than just secede and go somewhere else! We preach love and tolerance in my church, and not hate and division! And it’s all over your guns? Is that it?



?i

So what are the benefits? What do people expect to gain out of this ungodly and insane plan? Well there’s really only just one person who stands to benefit from this. But let’s sell it under the cause of your gun rights are being taken away. Because I’m sure that’s what the Good LAWRD JAYSUS would want, am I not wrong? Oh no, it’s the opposite of what he would have wanted!





Really, Governor? That’s your best statement? They’re threatening to take whole precincts away from you and Falwell’s words speak for themselves? Falwell is what one might call a “snake oil salesman” – he preaches nothing but a product that doesn’t really exist. He, and only he, will benefit from this proposed atrocity!





So what did we learn this week? We learned that Jerry Falwell Jr is a man that is more concerned with his own business that he will literally shake up the border in Virginia, and pander to the gun nuts to get it. And that is not what our good LAWRD JAYSUS would want, that sounds like something that Satan would want. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: TMZ & Kobe
[br] [/font] [br]



No matter where you were last Sunday, everyone will remember where they were when they heard the news that LA Lakers legend Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and seven others were killed in that devastating helicopter crash in Calabasas, California. Me personally? I was in the bathroom and the news alert came up on my phone. I’m just saying it happens. That aside, one man who is getting a lot of shit for reporting the news is Harvey Levin, who is of course the president of everyone’s favorite celebrity tabloid trash TV outlet TMZ. But the question is – how the hell did TMZ get a hold of the news about the helicopter crash before the entire world knew about it?





Ah, now *THIS* is a quid pro quo situation! And I like how non-chalant Harvey is with his suggestion that he “got a tip”. It’s kind of like the Youtube comments section of a popular video when someone just posts “FIRST!!!!” and then leaves, but not before said poster gets bombarded with a million comments that follow and point out that they weren't actually the first poster because there were 15 other comments that were posted 3 minutes after the actual video was posted. Yeah you probably got there before anyone else, but then again just because you could do it doesn’t mean you should. But is anyone really shocked that TMZ got this information that quickly? Even the Chicago PD couldn’t put out a press release that fast!





Seriously, even the guy who was OJ’s arresting officer isn’t surprised that celebrity tabloid journalism gets it first. But come on this is one that is definitely on TMZ here. But at least per the LA County Sheriff office, was it disrespectful of TMZ to do what they did? Was this the work of reporters just doing their jobs or was it the equivalent of the guy on Youtube who posts “FIRST!!!” on a popular channel?





That is a good point sir! But who really was alerted first? Was it the LAPD? Was it the FAA? Was it Kobe’s family? We may never know because there’s so many conflicting reports out there. Seriously, it’s Kobe Bryant, the guy was a legend. And it’s so weird that we’re talking about him in past tense because it happened so suddenly. But does TMZ really need to be cancelled for it? Really?





No calm down, nobody is cancelling anybody yet. But let this be a lesson of how fast news travels in the social media age. The crash happened at approximately 9:00 AM last Sunday. In that half an hour, the police were able to identify who it was, and TMZ got it out there before Kobe’s family was notified of what happened. And no, TMZ is *NOT* where I want to get my news from when something this horrible happens. Thank you.






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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
[br] [/font] [br]



Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die!!! Woooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Woooooooo!! Wooo. Woo. Yeah it’s not really that exciting because the latest insanity surrounding the Corona Virus coming from the Wuhan region of China just won’t stop. And the World Health Organization definitely isn’t easing our fears into the latest super virus. But first off, let’s cut through some of the bullshit. Yes, the disease can be passed from person to person. But can you pass it to your pets and vice versa? The answer is a definite no!! Come on, people have at least seen the Wes Anderson flick Isle Of Dogs, am I right? No?





Calm down dude, we’re not gonna die, at least not yet. But that’s what happens when you have a population that doesn’t understand basic science and genetics. Why aren’t those things taught in schools? If only there were someone we could ask about that sort of thing. But the real danger here is cruise ships. Yes, cruise ships. If you’ve been on a cruise ship in the last couple of months you might want to get yourself tested.





Yeah probably. Especially if you live in my home state of California, where a whopping 3 new cases of the virus have been confirmed. Yes, there have been over 17,000 cases confirmed. And three of them are in California. Really, are you people fucking crazy?? You currently have better odds of winning the lottery than you do of catching the Corona Virus.





Hey, again, I said probably! And by the way in case you’re wondering if we live in a period of slow news or not, let’s look to New York, where the insanity is so intense that this was actually a headline. This was in the news! If you’re in New York, you can rest assured that as of this week, there are *NO* confirmed cases of the Corona Virus. But that’s as of this week. Sleep tight everybody!!






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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font] [br]

Hit it!



Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And as such whenever we visit the great state of Florida, we have to do a special all Florida man edition of People Are Dumb. Look, Florida, we kid. But you do bring the crazy extra hard. And before we get into this, I want to give a shout out to the @Floridaman_ Twitter feed that really just goes beyond to keep track of all the crazy happening in the Sunshine State. Let’s start with this story out of Miami. Sigh here’s the thing people, we may hate Trump here and everything that he stands for. But let’s condone any acts of violence against him or his properties or the people in them. That said, this story has some of everything that makes Florida insane and weird.




That’s right, Dude! Next up, we go to the city of Orlando for this one. And here’s the thing, if you don’t have anything creative to write when you’re hammered and you’ve got a can of spray paint, maybe the best thing to do is just walk away. But not for this guy who painted – I shit you not – the word “slur” on the bathroom wall. This is a thing that happened!





Next up, we’re going to stay in the city of Orlando – what’s up with Orlando this week? They’re taking double doses of crazy pills! Anyway, I don’t know much about boating, nor will I claim to know anything about boating, but I’m pretty sure this is not how the gas tank on a boat is supposed to operate. But it’s also probably best not to get the fire department involved in your own stupidity as well.





Unless of course you have it inserted in the wrong hole. Yes, thank you sir! That’s what she said! Finally – we go to South Florida and the city of Fort Lauderdale for this one. So we’ve all been the victims of credit and debit card fraud at some point. Because there’s a lot of sleazebags out there to get their hands on your data. But this next story asks a lot of questions, namely, how does one spend $68 at Little Caesars?





That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 22: The Iowa Caucuses
[br] [/font] [br]



Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! Yes, in this guide we keep all of the news, candidates, issues and polls into one handy place! Last week, we contemplated controversial podcaster Joe Rogan’s endorsement of Bernie Sanders. This week, the Iowa Caucuses are underway! And who won the Iowa Caucuses? The correct answer is that nobody really knows. It’s absolute chaos down there in Des Moines. As of right now – it’s Wednesday at 2:00 PM, yeah it’s still polling at 0%. Bernie’s camp is saying that he won, Mayor Pete’s camp is saying that he won, it could be anyone’s game at this point. So what gives, Iowa? You had one job!





You tell ‘em, Loki! So the fact of the matter is that Iowa reigns in chaos right now and the master of disaster Donald J. Trump rakes in 97% of the republican vote, which is still dwindling in numbers even as we speak. And don’t vote by a fucking app on your smart phone, people. There’s some things that just should not be done by phone, and voting is one of them! Talk about phoning it in, literally in this case!





Yes, literally one job! And people wonder what the hell is going on with the opposition to Donald J. Trump? Well here’s the thing – if you’re going to vote by a smartphone app, you’re gonna get hacked, I’m just saying it happens. And it doesn’t take a doctorate in IT to figure that one out! So how could this have happened? Well, here’s the thing – DON’T VOTE BY APP!!! It’s that fucking simple. If it sounds like a bad idea it probably is!





So with that disaster in mind, who really won Iowa? Well it’s hard to say especially when they’re moving onto Nevada, and with 0% of the vote in, there’s well, every candidate saying that they won the election, but none have been more vocal about it than Mayor Pete Buttigieg, you know, our good friend from South Bend, Indiana. Yeah, I think you might want to wait until we actually have a vote tallied there, Mayor Pete.





[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week, assuming that we sort through this madness, we will tell you the results of the Nevada poll, or we might tell you that voting by app is a bad idea. But probably some of both.



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Dirty Heads[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a really awesome reggae band from Newport Beach, CA, you can see them at the One Love Festival at the Queen Mary on Feb 7th. Playing their song “Fear And Love” from their album “Super Moon”, give it up for the Dirty Heads!




Thank you Tallahassee! This was fun! We are off to Nashville, next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: University Of Central Florida, Tallahassee, FL
Special Thanks To: UCF
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCF Choir Club, Tallahassee, FL
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
The Dirty Heads Appear Courtesy Of: Five Seven Music
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo