June 26, 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-3: Keeping Up With The Nazis Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-3: Keeping Up With The Nazis Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Austin? You guys doing fucking good? It’s good to be back! Yeah so you’re probably wondering -what the fuck happened in San Antonio? Well, we had quite a SNAFU with our host venue – and we will make up that tour stop at a later date. We also produced the second part of our “What’s Up With Texas” docuseries where we visited the border town of Laredo – and we will air that at a later date. But this was our Spinal Tap moment – we basically got bumped for a fucking puppet show. OK moving on . Is anyone really that surprised that Florida is the state who is going all in on autonomous cars? I mean we’ve seen the kinds of accidents that humans ca cause when they’re driving them. What makes them think that this is a good idea? Well let’s think about this here – this is the state of Florida. We may have to do a deep dive on this next week, but is anyone really surprised that Ron DeSantis is behind this? You think that self driving cars are a danger now, wait until they become self aware! Yes, on the day Skynet is deployed and our machines start turning on us, I can say “I told you so!!!”. And I love how the people involved are like “Oh it’s going to be treated like any other car”. Yeah, just wait until some guy in accounts payable who’s had too many vodka sodas at the Hilton bar gets in the car and passes out. You really think that the autonomous car is going to be safe? No, it’s going to be a safety hazard! Gee, Florida, there’s a reason why you’re the craziest state in the union – you’re that stupid and insane to try such tech like this that hasn’t been tested and approved yet, is still in the infant cycle, and has already been proven to be a danger. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he destroys the notion of climbing the world’s tallest and most dangerous mountain just to get a selfie for Instagram:



So where do we begin this week? Well in the first slot we’re going to do something a bit differently from what you’re used to. There’s been a lot of comparisons to the Nazis lately and it seems like we’re heading on that path, but how close are we? We’re going to break down some myths and urban legends in a piece that we’re calling “Keeping Up With The Nazis” (1). In the second slot, do we really need 4 more years of these lunatics calling the shots? Yes we’re going to recap Trump’s announcement of his reelection bid, not like we didn’t need that one. In the third slot this week, Congress held a very serious discussion on whether or not reparations should be paid out to the families of former slaves, and of course Mitch McConnell (3) derailed the whole thing, but that’s completely beside the point. For the fourth slot this week, he’s baaaaaaaaaaaaack! Trump’s long time WHPC leader Sarah Huckabee Sanders has departed the administration meaning that she is the latest tribute eliminated from the Trumper Games! In the fifth slot this week of course is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week, Facebook is launching it’s own brand of Cyber Currency called the Libre. Is this a good idea or a bad idea? We will find out. In the sixth slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and the Christian right has once again hilariously stuck its’ head where it doesn’t belong, in regards to the Amazon show “Good Omens”, and our resident pastor can’t wait to revel in their stupidity! In the seventh slot this week is an all new “Beating A Dead Horse” – normally we don’t talk about Trump in this segment but we got to get a hold of why he’s going after the Central Park 5 this late in the game, and I’m sure there’s a lot of reasons why, but we think there’s only one… *COUGH* RACISM *COUGH*. In the number 8 slot this week, is the return of People Who Somehow Got Elected! Yay! This week we’re adding embattled San Diego representative Duncan Hunter (8) to that ever growing list! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is an all new People Are Dumb (9), because of course they are! Finally this week we’ve got the third installment of our “What’s Up With Texas” (10) docuseries and as we figure out whether or not Texas will flip in the 2020 election, we tour the state capital of Austin, and to hopefully score an interview with Gov. Greg Abbott (R-Obviously) as he passed an insanely stupid law regarding protecting "religious freedoms" for Chik-Fil-A after they got banned from the San Antonio Airport. And for putting up with my shit, we’ve got the Viking metal gods themselves, Amon Amarth stopping by! Really, buy their new album Berserker or you’re no friend of this show!Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Nazis
[br] [/font] [br]

It’s very easy to make comparisons to what Adolf Hitler did in regards to what the current American political climate is doing. In fact it’s so easy that Hitler comparisons have become their own logical fallacy. It’s a real thing, in fact go to Wikipedia and look up Ad Hitlerum. Still not convinced that it’s a real thing? Well, after Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made the comparison that the camps running along the border are likened to Nazi concentration camps, And there’s no making fun of this so as is Top 10 policy, we won’t try. So for this piece, we thought we’d take a minute to unpack all the Nazi references coming from both sides. See – conservatives are there to remind you that they’re not Nazis, until they start doing things that are horrifying. Let’s call this piece “Detention camps are not concentration camps”, or to use the parlance of our times, “Keeping Up With The Nazis”. So just how close are we?





Holy shit!!! As if that’s not horrifying enough, there was the possibility of SS-like ICE raids that Trump was going to start last week but delayed it because it will allow even more time to blame the democrats on this issue. Yeah I said it – that’s all they care about – owning the libs, they’re not good for much of anything else at this point.





Wow, just… fucking wow. In one corner we literally are having a debate about whether or not US detention centers are concentration camps and it’s only because not enough people died in those camps to warrant that status. Now in the interest of this piece, according to the US Holocaust Museum, here’s where we are at right now.





So let’s make one thing clear – the holocaust didn’t start with death camps. They started out very much like what we’re seeing now, and AOC is absolutely correct here. So we have round ups and internment camps a very real part of the Donald Trump administration – and it’s absolutely frightening. But why aren’t we doing enough to educate people about the holocaust? You might recall that those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. And here’s where that might lie.






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

Now that we got the Hitler talk out of the way, let’s lighten things up and talk about the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. And the absolutely insane things he’s been doing in the last week since we’ve been off. Like the fact that he held another one of his insane rallies in Orlando announcing his bid for reelection. I mean when your rally features these guys outside, what’s it like inside?

https://twitter.com/thistallawkgirl/status/1141221743870263297

I think I've found Brett Kavanaugh's side hustle! Worst strip club ever, by the way. And judging by the color of their skin tone and their guts, I think this is the most exercise these guys have got all year. And who are they being the hype men for? DJ MAGAs? I don't know! So here’s how that went down:





Ah come on, NPR, it’s summer. Everything is in reruns now. Trump literally held his campaign rally giving the exact same speeches he’s given 100 times before. And if you thought the madness was bad outside, just take a look at the trail of destruction that his supporters left behind in their quest to see the MAGAt in chief.





Yeah really where’s that guy when you need him? I mean is anyone really that surprised by this? Just when you think they can’t sink any lower… fuck it, let’s show it.



Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Also something else that’s hardly at all surprising – only at a Trump rally could two guys get arrested for fighting inside while a large group yelled homophobic slurs at both of them:





Those guys could use some boundaries but that’s pretty typical behavior and standard operating procedure for Trump fans at this point. And you know here’s the thing – Trump Derangement Syndrome may not be a thing, but Clinton Derangement Syndrome is – and Trump’s got an extremely bad case of it. Really, he just won’t let this shit go.






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Mitch McConnell
[br] [/font] [br]

Really, Mitch, you just had to go there, didn’t you? Amid all the Nazi talk, something that got lost in the news last week was talk of reparations for slavery. We’ve all heard the arguments for and against reparations since the days of Martin Luther King. But this week, Mitch McConnell accidentally opened a can of worms that probably shouldn’t have been opened. So when HR40, which studied the possibility of slavery reparations being implemented – which is still a very real possibility that this could happen in our lifetime, assuming we survive this administration, what could happen? And when did Mitch McConnell have surgery on his middle finger to put it into a fully upright position?





Ah, I miss Chappelle’s Show. So not only did Mitch McConnell completely poo poo this idea for now – which means that he’s probably guilty of it. Well, maybe not slavery directly but he’s guilty of something, that’s for sure! In fact here’s where McConnell goes full asshole – he said that the reason why we don’t need slavery reparations is shockingly stupid and evil.





Except that McCcnnell’s idea of not a good idea is a bad idea. Yeah let that sink in for a minute – he actually said that reparations were not a good idea. And since we need to know more, he actually doubled down on this claim. Of course McConnell is wealthy himself and doesn’t know what it is like to pay for anything, let alone slavery. In fact he not only doubles down, he literally goes full asshole on this one.





Wait, wait, wait… wait, wait, wait, wait. You’re saying that we paid for slavery by electing Obama president? Have you been paying attention to the last 3 years, Mitch? Have you seen how racist and ignorant people have become in that length of time? Oh wait, he’s primarily responsible for it. So of course he’d think that this is a bad idea. Oh well, at least he’s getting called out for his bullshit and it’s very well deserved:






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Sarah Sanders
[br] [/font] [br]



I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!! Yes, my pretties, I am back for the latest installment because people keep leaving this administration so it is my duty to report on it and make fun of it while I imbibe on this freshly carbonated alcoholic beverage! Damn it, Charlie… oh wait that’s right, Charlie left in the last episode that we did this so I must confide in my new assistant Nathaniel. So I say, Nathaniel… bring me the champagne! This week, it was Tribute Sanders from the 1st district who was eliminated, and Tribute Sanders has been in the Trump administration the longest! In fact, Tribute Sanders was at one point considered a lock to win the whole games. What was the final straw that broke the camel’s back? Well it might have been this.





Ah it’s good to be back! I mean can you imagine having to be in her position and having to lie 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for what is essentially the world’s biggest reality show? I know I cannot! So Tribute Sanders has resigned, what is next for her? I know! Let’s put her in charge of running the entire state of Arkansas, I mean how hard could it be?





Now to be fair, Mr. President, that would give Sarah Sanders more political experience than you had when you ran for the highest office in the land. Remember when the republicans said that they didn’t want a “celebrity” running the show? Oh wait, they elected Ronald Reagan and now they support President Trump, whose cabinet is the largest revolving door ever. What poor sap, er, prospect is going to replace Tribute Sanders? I mean the only qualifications are that you have to lie 24 hours a day in an administration that has seen everything from Nazi camps to accidental war. Good luck! Well, meet Tribute Grisham from the 10th District!




Wait, there had been no formal press briefings in 90 days? Shit, during the previous administration, we knew what the president had for breakfast. Blueberry waffles with whip cream, light syrup, and a glass of orange juice. But that said, this latest tribute is going to be in for a wild ride as the Trump administration goes full in on Nazism. But for now, consider Tribute Sanders… ELIMINATED!!!






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Facebook Money
[br] [/font] [br]

Hey Austin, it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



Cryptocurrency is currently one of the hottest commodities in the game. It’s also one of the most volatile out there. So naturally when Facebook announced that it was launching its’ own currency, called the Libra, people were very skeptical of what it could bring to the table. It could be the most revolutionary currency since the dollar. But also considering the security risks involved with going in on cryptocurrency, it could be an utter financial disaster. According to actual economic experts, there’s plenty of pros and cons with the world’s largest social media site launching the world’s largest virtual currency.





Yes probably. While there will be plenty of ways to make money off the virtual currency, its’ applications will be very limited, because it will be a virtual currency. Because we all know how stable blockchains are, oh wait, they aren’t. It’s incredibly risky to go blockchain and there’s plenty of ways that such a currency can go very very wrong.





Yes, this cryptocurrency is so new that it has the potential to be an international relations nightmare, and financiers around the world can’t wrap their heads about how such a plan is going to be carried out worldwide. So how are authorities going to regulate this new currency? There’s many possibilities, it’s still going to be a nightmare, but the Fed is going to be closely watching their new competition.





This is incredibly risky, incredibly brave, and incredibly stupid at the same time. Think of the ending of the movie Kingsman where Samuel L. Jackson had the entire world going crazy thanks to his freely distributed SIM cards. Any time you add the words “on a global scale” to anything, it gets immensely more horrifying. Facebook… on a global scale. That about says it all. But how can you make money off this new venture? There are plenty of ways.





That’s it for Top 10 Investiages. Good day.





[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Austin! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know as I repeatedly say that we live in the most troubled of times. And it’s really hard to find joy when the world is going to hell right now. But I must say that I have taken some true delight in the sheer stupidity of what our brothers and sisters on the right have accomplished! You really can’t get much dumber than this. For there is a show on Amazon about good vs EEEVIL that you must watch. That show is called “Good Omens”. Of course we all know that there aren’t any, that title is an oxymoron. So what did they do to deserve this? Well they’re so steeped in their outrage machine that they don’t even know who they are mad at!





Of course the DEVIL walks among us! That’s what he does, and we see him literally everywhere, but that’s not what this sermon is about, now is it? But this, my fair congregation, this is where people can get so caught up in being outraged at something that they don’t even know what they’re mad at or who they are mad at. Enter the group Return To Order. So they had 20,000 signatures to cancel the show which went to… the wrong network! That’s hilarious.





Yes, I got to say that even SAYTAN himself is laughing at you! Now in doing a deep dive on this subject, I had to look up exactly who Return To Order are. And they are a group of Catholics who, quite frankly have no sense of humor. I mean I have to believe that the GOOD LAWRD has a sense of humor because I’ve been doing this thing for a while and I have yet to be smited! So just who are these humorless killjoys who have to ruin everything?





Now maybe that’s in your good book, Reverend. But in my Good Book, it says that we can, and we can also taunt, so suck it!! OK that maybe went a step too far there. So GAWD has to have a sense of humor even if these losers don’t. But if we can’t laugh about the devil, at least Netflix and Amazon can get a good laugh at them. And yes, even the GOOD LAWRD JAYSUS is laughing at you and not with you!





So there you have it, Return To Order might not have a sense of humor, but Netflix and Amazon do, and that makes them automatically better! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
[br] [/font] [br]



At some point you got to tell yourself “just let it go, man”. Of course letting go of a grudge doesn’t apply to Donald J. Trump. Because he doesn’t know the meaning of the word “exonerated”. I’d also be willing to bet that he doesn’t know the meaning to a lot of words. So why does Trump, on the 30th anniversary of one of the most horrifying crimes to happen in New York City, still care? Even after the men accused were actually, completely exonerated? And it doesn’t matter what happened to the accused. Oh man, if Trump holds a grudge against you, oh man, he love it long time! So this whole thing started because of a new Netflix series examining the legacy of the controversial Central Park 5 case, which reignited Trump’s beef with the group. And this is taking “Beating A Dead Horse” to a whole new level of meta here.





Shut up!!! Of course there’s both sides to every case, that’s why we have cases. I believe that’s in law school 101. At least unlike Trump, the men who were exonerated in the Central Park 5 case are likely to stay that way. I mean this is a guy who won’t let things go! So why won’t Trump admit that he’s wrong here about the Central Park 5? Hey when I’m wrong about something I admit it. I still think I’m right about 7-11 chicken sandwiches though. For $2 there’s no way you can call them “awesome”. But that’s besides the point. What in god’s holy name is he blathering about this time?





At this point, 30 years after the fact – you just got to let this shit go! And let’s be honest here – did you really expect Trump to apologize for his 30 year old ad which is now coming back to bite him in the ass hard? No! Trump doesn’t apologize for anything! Even the director of the series isn’t surprised by Trump’s behavior in this regard.





So at this point – we’re all not surprised at Trump’s lack of apologizing because he really doesn’t apologize for anything. Hell, conservatives haven’t apologized for anything they’ve done since Nixon got elected. But at least when the Central Park 5 are completely exonerated, they don’t have any other crimes that they may be guilty of. Trump, on the other hand, has plenty! So who’s the real guilty party here?






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Duncan Hunter
[br] [/font] [br]

Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:



This week – San Diego, California representative Duncan Hunter (R – Obviously). You might recall Rep. Hunter from when he famously tried to get his pet rabbit a seat on a Southwest flight (see: Idiots #5-10 ) that cost taxpayer money to the tune of $600. For his rabbit. And that’s not all – Rep. Hunter is in some seriously deep doo doo that is costing him big time. And when your wife says “she’s talking to prosecutors”, that’s never a good thing now is it? But for some reason, San Diego not only elects Duncan Hunter, they keep reelecting him time and time again.





So Duncan Hunter may have stolen a small fortune of campaign contributions and used it to live the high life. Who wouldn’t? Oh that’s right, most of us have this thing called “integrity”, which you must lack in order to be a member of today’s republican party. So just how deep does this Duncan Hunter scandal go and how much worse could it get? Well, a whole lot worse. Think of this like Arrested Development.





Well yeah if you have the worst attorneys, you probably should be aware that a husband and wife can be charged with the same crime. That’s law 101. So what would be the implications if Mr. Hunter is indicted for these crimes? Well, Margaret Hunter flipping on her husband could have serious implications for Mr. Hunter himself – and that can’t be a good thing. Remember that Arrested Development episode? Well, she might wind up sharing a cell with him.





No, no light treason here. Just massive greed on a massive scale. You can’t just steal $250K – that’s a quarter of a million dollars. So Duncan Hunter threw his wife under the bus, and now she got behind the wheel and is driving it. This is what we believe one would call a “circular firing squad”, and things could get that much worse for the embattled San Diego representative.





Apparently they can. And in case you’re wondering how Hunter repeatedly gets elected in San Diego, yeah, you don’t really need to look far. In today’s republican party all you have to do is talk about how much you hate Islam and you’re in. In fact they’ll elect you to the highest levels of government. It really is that easy – if you’re a republican.





So war crimes, fraud, high crimes and other misdemeanors, that’s just a day in the life of San Diego’s Duncan Hunter. Yet another in the ever-growing list of:




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font] [br]

Hit it!!!



Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. So who might you ask is dumb this week? Well there’s plenty of stupid people out there. And I love all of these stories. And I also feel like they could all come from Florida. Well, most of them do, but a few out there that don’t. I want to start with this story out of Iowa – and really Iowa is giving Florida a run for its’ money. And I am always curious as to the types of things that people get arrested for driving drunk on, but have we ever had someone get arrested for a DUI on a children’s truck? Well, there’s a first time for everything, sir!





Yeah that’s not the message that we will give you here. But you get the idea. Next up – the Sunshine State, America’s penis, Florida – never fails to disappoint week after week. You think they’d do something about the sheer amount of crazy in Florida but they have yet to. For this story yeah, I’m not entirely sure that poop is what one would call “protein-diet friendly”.





Yeah well it’s probably a good thing that the poop doesn’t talk in this case. Next up – sticking with the Sunshine State, when you go to McDonalds, I don’t remember this being on the menu! And this might be the worst use of a playground ever, by the way.





Damn right! This is a family restaurant! Our basic freedoms!!! Next up – there is a lot of crazy happening in the Sunshine State. Look there’s only two guys in the entire world who can acceptably wear short shorts, one is Tobias Funke, and well, yeah let’s just leave it at Tobias Funke. So leading by example maybe isn’t the best approach here.





Hey did he go to the conference this year too? Finally this week – we’ve got yet *ANOTHER* Florida Man story for you. And this guy is either an advertising genius – or just an idiot. Either way, if you’ve got coke on you, this is probably not the place to advertise, and it’s definitely not in front of the popos.





That’s it this week for:




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]What’s Up With Texas? Pt. 3
[br] [/font] [br]



What is up with Texas? That’s the question that we have on the table for you in our 5 part docuseries and right now, we’re on part 3. In part 2, we took a 550 mile road trip down the Texas border to the border town of Laredo – a town that literally shares two sides of the city, roads and municipal governments - on the US border with Mexico to find out the real truth behind our nation’s illegal immigration crisis. Turns out the real problem is with Texas republicans. This week, our journey takes us to the Lone Star State’s capitol in Austin to find out what is going on. Right now the state is being led by governor Greg Abbott and Lt. Governor Dan Patrick. And when I stayed at the Austin Airport Hilton, what did I see to my amazement when I got my complimentary newspaper and saw this insane headline?





I had to know more. So we went to the Capitol building in Austin where my attempts to score an interview with Gov. Abbott were met with “who the fuck are you?” and “no further questions”. After many attempts, the answers that I got from one of Gov. Abbott’s interns was that he feels that Chik-Fil-A’s “religious freedoms” are under attack. Whatever that is. My quest to know more about this went further down the rabbit hole. Really, crappy fast food is the hill they choose to die on?





That still didn’t answer my inquiry. Further inquiries with the aide who was assigned to answer whatever questions I had only did not give me the answer that I wanted. So they seem obsessed with the religious culture of greasy fast food. My attempts to find answers turned up very empty. Back at the hotel and flipping through the channels, I happened to find this.





Yeah probably. So my quest to seek answers from the governor’s office got nothing. Why are they wasting time on crappy fast food at the airport terminal when there’s far more important matters out there? And all I get was Fox & Friends stuffing their faces with this crap to stick it to LGBT people somehow? What are they proving? Nothing. But I did find out that the State, in their quest for grease and calories, sued one of its’ own cities to protect a bullshit fast food joint. Yes, that is what is going on in Texas at the capitol.





[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

For part 4 of our docuseries “What’s Up With Texas”, we’re heading to Houston and the Gulf Coast to find out how post-disaster cleanup is going and what the political climate is like in the largest city in the Lone Star State.



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Amon Amarth[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guests are the Gods of Viking metal themselves! Their latest album is called Berserker, you can see them on tour this fall with Arch Enemy and At The Gates. Playing their song “Raven’s Flight”, give it up for the one, the only Amon Amarth!




Thank you Austin! Always love it when we are here! We’re off to Houston next with the famous Wheel Of Corruption! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Cap City Comedy Club, Austin, TX
Special Thanks To: Cap City Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UTA Choir Club, Austin, TX
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Amon Amarth Appear Courtesy Of: Metal Blade Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

June 12, 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-1: God Save Our Noble President Man Baby Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-1: God Save Our Noble President Man Baby Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! We are back! We are baaaaaaaaaaack! What’s up El Paso? You guys doing fucking good? I hope everyone had a good start to their summer! What? You mean it’s already been summer here since March? Seriously? Damn and I thought the rain season in California went on way too long. It is fucking hot out there, I will give you that, but of course it’s never the right time to talk about climate change. No, I’m not congratulating the Boston Bruins on winning the Stanley Cup. No. Make me. Boston has won every fucking championship ever in the last 15 years and the last thing they need is another one. No, make me again. I’m having a sit in. What? This makes the douchebag fans even more douchebaggy. I mean they are even fighting among themselves! Watch this clip!



Yeah I mean come on do we really want to give these drunk, crazy douchebags an excuse to be even crazier drunk douchebags? I know I don’t! And speaking of fighting, allow me to segue into this next topic. I mean does anyone else really want to see Tom Cruise go full Les Grossman and just beat the living ass out of Justin Bieber? Shit, if this fight were to go down I would actually pay the $49.99 to watch it on PPV. And if anyone knows what it’s like to be punched in the face it’s Tom Cruise – I mean if you’ve seen any of the Mission Impossible movies, you know that dude can take a punch in the face or two. I don’t think Beiber would last two rounds. And hey if Beiber really wanted to put up a fight, why don’t we put him in the nosebleed section of a Bruins game? At least then Beiber might have a fighting chance! Hey o!!! OK enough of the intro this week, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first John Oliver is back and he delves into the history of the Equal Rights Amendment:



Wow, it’s been quite the last two weeks since we last saw you guys! As always whenever the Top 10 takes an extended break, we like to catch up on stuff we missed (1) and there was quite a lot of it so bare with us as we power through it. In the second slot this week is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) and he had quite the week last week including his trip to England and his disastrous trip to Normandy – yeah a guy who didn’t serve lecturing us about supporting the troops is like a guy who doesn’t drink selling us vodka. Oh wait. In the third slot this week is also Donald Trump (3) and we have to break down his absolutely BONKERS interview on the Piers Morgan show, and really he went full Tracy Jordan on this one. In the 4th slot, sigh… there was another mass shooting while we were off, this time in Virginia Beach, and since the White House says it’s never the right time to talk about gun control ( ), we’re going to show you stories of good guys with guns (4) and we’ve got some good ones! In the number 5 slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week we’re going to take a look at what’s going on at Mt. Everest. Yeah, climbing to the top of the world’s tallest mountain is one of the coolest things a person can do, but is it worth dying for? No! At slot number 6 is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and our resident pastor is back from vacation and he lived like a televangelist, because frequent flyer miles are for godless heathens! In the 7th slot this week is “Beating A Dead Horse” and June is Pride month, honoring our LGBT brothers and sisters worldwide, but do we really need a Straight Pride Parade? Hell no!!! And there’s some real winners supporting this idea. Taking the number 8 slot this week, we have a new “How Is This Still A Thing?” and while Youtube is cracking down on the worst offenders including neo Nazis, white supremacists, and white nationalists, somehow Christian “comedian” Steven Crowder’s channel is still allowed to exist, and we’re going to ask how that’s a thing. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is “I Need A Drink” (9) and this week we’re going to get drunk and tell you about a new start up company that hopes to revolutionize consumer travel by… pogo stick. Yeah no, that is a disaster waiting to happen. And finally this week since we’re touring the great state of Texas, we thought it would be fun to really explore and find out why people either really love or really hate the Lone Star State in the first of a 5 part series “What’s Up With Texas” (10) and this week we’ve got a doozy of a story to report! Plus we’re going to close with some live music from our good friends Blink 182, who are celebrating the 20th anniversary of their classic album Enema Of The State! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed
[br] [/font] [br]

We took two weeks off. And we should never do that because we live in a world where literally batshit fucking crazy stuff happens on an almost minute by minute basis. So two weeks of time is a long break between when the last Top 10 happened and the current Top 10 happened. Where do we even begin to tackle what has happened? You know what? Let’s start in England where the guy who we currently call president spent his summer vacation. But we’ll get to that in a minute. I want to use this entry to bring you up to speed on Brexit – a hilarious combination of the words “brex” and “it”. And when you think about it – England is about to elect a Prime Minister who quite literally looks like Trump:



The resemblance is uncanny! I mean two elderly, grossly overweight fat men with bad hair and a messianic complex ruling their respective countries? How bad could it get? Really fucking bad if you ask me.





Yeah the people who voted for Brexit right now are like the dog in the cartoon – they’ll keep saying every thing is fine with Brexit while the whole fucking country burns to the ground right behind them! I mean as if things couldn’t get any worse the EU gave them an ultimatum. And come on you know everything’s going fine when that happens!





Of course everything is fine! I mean I’d expect this level of negotiation from a graduate of that seminar that advertises in the back of the airline in flight magazine, not politicians who are trying to decide the fate of the fucking global economy!!! OK I could talk all day about the cluster fuck known as Brexit but we don’t have that kind of time. It is fun to watch from afar isn’t it? Moving on, I want to discuss Trump’s war on tech companies. So while we were off this happened:





Wait, wait, wait, wait. So yeah while we were gone, Twitter went ahead and banned James Woods for threatening to murder members of Congress (HA HA!!!) along with some other prominent conservative voices, and in one angry tweet storm, Trump goes from tweeting about conservatives being banned on Twitter and supporting free speech, to the media is the enemy of the people. Maybe he’s nervous. Are you nervous, Donnie? Especially when this is happening this week:






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

Speaking of Donny shutting the fuck up, we got to talk about his trip to Europe. Ooh ooh we need some music for this one!



OK you guys are fucking with me. Wrong Europe.



OK much better! So Trump went to Europe… OK can we stop with the Final Countdown already? Thank you! Trump went to Europe to meet the Queen and to go pay his respects to the our fallen soldiers on the 75th anniversary of D-Day. And neither event went particularly well. For starters Trump channeled his inner Clark Griswold and brought his entire family along for the ride. And like most family vacations, this one became a complete clusterfuck.





Yeah so it didn’t start off great. And it proceeded to only get worse from there. I mean come on, how can he fuck up a visit to the queen? Well take a look at him in a white collar tuxedo:



How much fucking weight has he gained since taking the oath of office? All those hamburder buffets cant be good for him. I mean England has “God Save Our Noble Queen”, we have “God Save Our Noble President Man Baby”. Yeah that doesn’t have the same ring to it. I mean how bad could it get?





Seriously, Automatic Chemistry sounds like the name of a 90’s alternative rock album. REM presents Automatic Chemistry! What? You think it would be better as a Pearl Jam album? But then switching gears Trump went to Normandy and that’s where the shit show started. I mean seriously, the GOP doesn’t get to say that we’re disrespecting the troops ever again, because they clearly don’t give a shit!





Yes, Trump, there’s plenty of places that you could have given that interview but a cemetery before a major speech honoring our veterans isn’t fucking one of them!!!



[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

So the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, thinks he’s Winston Churchill. That’s right -a guy who didn’t serve in the military suddenly thinking that he’s on par with one of the greatest generals in human history. I mean let’s compare the two – one fought the Nazis, the other one thinks that Nazis are very fine people. How did this happen? Well, shortly before Trumpenfuror left England, he had a batshit fucking crazy interview with Piers Morgan that went way off the rails. And well, I would expect Tracy Jordan to give a far more coherent interview to Larry King, if you remember that classic 30 Rock episode. Just how bad was it? Well there’s a lot of things wrong with it and we will point a few of them out.





There we go, everybody, I think we’ve reached Peak Trump here. I mean there’s nowhere it can go but downhill from here, can it? I mean really, the guy who walked in on underage girls dressing in a locker room calling someone else a creep? That’s rich! And why does Trump think that Vietnam was a terrible war? Just… I can’t even begin to comprehend his logic anymore. Of course it was, but we’ll save that for another topic.





You tell ‘em, Walter! They’re our basic freedoms, after all! And you know what the irony of Trump’s appearance in Europe was? Not only did he undo the alliance that made D-Day happen in the first place, he’s just becoming more unhinged by the day. I mean really, he gets no, and I repeat no, right to call anyone else nasty. He’s the meanest, nastiest person in any given room. What? Did Megan Markle hurt your little feelings President Snowflake?





Obviously, Trump is batshit fucking crazy. But then this is where the interview went off the rails. Of course you can’t talk about American politics without bringing up our love of the gun, and don’t worry we’ll get to that in a minute. But really? He thinks a guy with a knife can stop a bullet? Funny I don’t remember that scene in John Wick!






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Good Guys With Guns
[br] [/font] [br]



One thing we love to do at the Top 10 is refute talking points, and one of our favorites comes from that most American of institutions known as the National Rifle Association. While we were off, there was yet another mass shooting. And the response coming from the White House is the usual “we’re not supposed to talk about it” bullshit. Yes, they actually said this. Of course gun nuts are a large percentage of the base, and we wouldn’t offend the base would we? Boy, for the party that loves to “trigger the snowflakes”, they really are a bunch of pathetic snowflakes aren’t they? So with that in mind, we decided that we’re going to flip the script and instead show you some “Good Guys With Guns”. Like here’s a perfect example of the NRA’s dream guy. Just your average Joe Six Pack with guns and a messianic complex strolling through your average Wal-Mart:

https://twitter.com/Paul_VanDerMeer/status/1134856957792333827

Let me see if I can identify what's wrong with this picture. It's not the fact that he's holding what appears to be a single bag of questionable quality microwave popcorn. It's not the Harley Davidson belt. It's not the poorly secured holdster attached to the outside of his belt loop. It's definitely not the fact that he's got a key chain with more keys than a high school janitor would carry. Or the extremely dumb 2nd amendment t-shirt. I know... it's that fucking chain wallet! I mean what kind of grown ass man still carries a chain wallet in 2019??? That shit wasn't even fashionable when it was cool and that was in 1993!!! I know because I had one. and then there was this guy who loaded his store with so much inventory that it couldn’t manage it, and Clinton Derangement Syndrome.





That story right there perfectly illustrates why your average gun nut is so paranoid of democratic rule that they’ll go out of their way to prove their point. And I mean why use things like facts and logic when we live in 2019 and those things don’t matter? Only outrage does! But before we show you some winners, let’s talk some facts. Just how much money is the gun industry worth? The answer might shock you but it’s not all that surprising.





Holy shit!!! Not only are guns a huge part of the American economy, keeping Americans safe from guns is an even bigger part of the American economy! So with that in mind let’s take a look at some good guys with guns, and why not? And also, why am I not surprised that a majority of these stories come from Florida?





GILLIGAN!!!!! I mean if that guy is the guy who is supposed to protect the boat, why does it matter if the other guy has a gun? It’s more than likely that gun used to commit a murder was stolen, because these are some absolutely shocking statistics regarding guns and gun crime. No wonder we have guys like the winner in the Florida story above!





Holy shit!!! No wonder there’s so many good guys out there. And with people like that and our MAGA friend above, it’s no wonder. And if you wonder where the right wing and their doomsday obsession comes from, this house in LA may provide some clues. I mean it’s in Beverly Hills! Remember the good old days when people used to just grow pot in their garage? This is in my backyard, damn it! Keep this in mind the next time the NRA tries to play down that talking point:






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Mt. Everest
[br] [/font] [br]

Hey El Paso, it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



Climbing to the top of the world’s tallest mountain is one of the coolest things you can do – both literally and figuratively. But is it worth dying for? The amount of traffic that can be seen at the summit and the peak of the world’s tallest mountain might be the worst in history. There’s plenty of reasons that you can think of as to how we got to this point. While you can say that you climbed to the top of Everest, what you are really doing in 2019 is waiting in the world’s highest elevated line. And you might be asking how did we get here? Well the answer is shocking, but really not all that surprising.





So if you’re the country of Nepal how do you do damage control on this? Well they’re probably scrambling to find answers and provide answers to those who wish to complete this most godly of physical challenges. But there does at least seem to be an answer as global warming is causing Everest to melt, and people are being discovered that have long been thought to be missing. And not in a good way either.





So what is the solution? Where do we go from here? You could say that bureaucratic red tape got us in this mess and you would be right. Raising the price isn’t going to help. Those same people who can pay the $11,000 fees are going to be paying the $20,000 fees. Something that was once exclusive is now accessible to everybody, and that’s not always a good thing.





When something gets that overcrowded, it can never be a good thing, can it? At least waiting in traffic on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles, you probably won’t die. But waiting in traffic in unusually high altitudes with no water or food and you’re surrounded by thousands of other people waiting to reach the summit? Yeah you will most likely die. And you probably won’t be discovered for a very long time.





Yes, Stupid Sexy Flanders indeed. So you will probably die if you reach the top of the peak in 2019, because there’s way too many other people attempting to climb the same mountain and it’s almost impossible to get back down. So what’s it really like? One Vail mountaineer gives a much more real portrait of what it’s like than the media does.





That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of El Paso! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation!!! I have returned from vacation! Yes, I am tanned, I am rested, and I am ready to plow through another 28 weeks of this thing! And what did I do on my summer vacation? Where did I go to relax, you might ask? Well, I decided to live like I am a televangelist. I mean, I got to be honest, as much as I love and support UUC style preaching, there’s no money in it! There’s plenty of money however, in being a televangelist grifter. And it’s not one thing to have a private jet, these guys have all the private jet money in the world! Just how much money does a guy like Kenneth Copeland have? Well a hell of a lot!





Why yes, the devil does walk among us!!! But his name beith Kenneth J. Copeland! I mean is this a Biblical thing? I ask you my fair congregation! You know it does say in the Good Book that JAYSUS hated the rich and grifters, and hypocrites and Kenneth Copeland is all 3! I will say private jets are nice but it does indicate a very sinful lifestyle!





Well they are DAYMON birds if they’re flown by Pastor Copeland. I’m not saying that Pastor Copeland is a DAYMON, but he doesn’t exactly live a Biblical lifestyle. And you can lie. You can lie all you want, but the DEVIL sees all and knows all! So here’s the thing, Pastor Copeland, when you’re already in a hole, stop fucking digging!!! Why yes, we can swear in my church and this is making me very angry, sir! And you do not want to see me angry, for I bring down the WRATH OF GAWD!!!





Except that it isn’t, sir. You know it is fun to play armchair auditor and those are some pretty alarming numbers that it takes to operate a private jet, let alone a fleet of them! So, the question is, is Pastor Copeland stealing from his collection offerings? I ask you my fair congregation!! But Kenneth Copeland apparently loves his private jets more than he loves JAYSUS, because frequent flyer miles are for godless heathens!





Yes, god forbid that Pastor Copeland put up with the TSA and frequent flyer rewards programs like the rest of us have to! Now I know in the Good Book, it says judge not lest ye be judged, but really, fuck these people! None of your business? Well we’ll make it our business, thank you sir!! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for;




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Straight Pride Parade
[br] [/font] [br]



June is Pride month and while we’re celebrating and respecting our LGBT brothers and sisters around the globe, some on the right side of things would like to remind you that they’re getting enough respect, you know, like a bad Rodney Dangerfield bit. In fact, they’d like to remind you that there’s an open season on being straight and white in this country. To which we say “HELL NO!!!!”. So let’s examine both sides of the argument here. Why do we need a Straight Pride Parade? And why is it the worst thing in the entire world? And also, why the hell did they choose Boston for this event? That seems like a very odd choice. Does Boston need some humiliation after winning all those championships? Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. But let’s start with the logic behind it before we meet some of the winners organizing it:





Oh boo fucking hoo. Gee how insecure are you that you have to have a parade to honor your own massive ego? Wait, I know! They’re conservatives and Trump fans! And why Boston you might ask? Why not? Maybe they all secretly have a crush on Tom Brady? I don’t know! I am just speculating! But the sad reality is that the city of Boston went along and decided to green light it, so now that’s a thing whether we want it or not.





Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Well we champion free speech here, so let ‘em have their parade. Just don’t show up for it. Now here’s where politics makes for some strange bedfellows, and none could be stranger than some of people and corporations who have spoken out against this stupid idea for an event.





That’s right – Axe Body Spray, a brand commonly associated with bro culture, is siding with the LGBT community on this one! Yeah, suck it Straight Pride Parade! Although we have to address the name of the group that’s putting it on – what the fuck kind of name is Super Happy Fun America? That sounds like the name of a Japanese game show about American trivia, and we all know how crazy Japanese game shows can get! Let’s take a look at this group of winners! Would you be surprised that they’re far right white nationalists? I am shocked, shocked I tell you!!!






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Steven Crowder
[br] [/font] [br]

It’s time once again to ask:



This week: The Youtube channel owned by Christian “comedian” Steven Crowder – how is this still a thing? In the last few weeks, Youtube has announced an unprecedented crackdown on hate content with many white supremacists, hate mongerers, neo Nazis, and conspiracy theorists finding their channels either being demonetized or permanently banned. Which they are quick to scream about how they’re being victimized because they’re conservative. But that’s not the discussion this week. This week, the discussion is centering on one channel in particular. The one owned by Steven Crowder, a fundamentalist Christian conservative who also claims to be a comedian. In fact here’s how it got started:





No, no you didn’t. Steven Crowder’s channel is so toxic that it’s attracted this kind of attention and we are sure that neither side really wants this. But in reality when YouTube attempted to respond to such controversy, it blew it big time. And neither party is really left with a satisfied outcome and angrier at the streaming service more than ever.





Yeah you can’t please all of the people all of the time and Youtube did exactly that. So rather than telling some people they can make money off political content, they’re simply telling everyone that they cannot make money off political content. But this is what happens when you have very loosely defined rules that aren’t properly enforced enough. And when you have friends like these, who needs enemies?





In fact while Ted Cruz didn’t say it well, he’s not wrong. This is not ending well. This is the exact opposite of ending well. In fact a simple “you’re wrong” turned into a colossal clusterfuck that could decide the fate of free speech on the internet as we know it. And that enabled Steven Crowed, who not only doubled down on his attacks, he tripled down.





Except that it isn’t. And Mr. Crowder not only doubled down on his attacks, he opened up a dangerous can of worms that should have not been opened. In fact Youtube might be reversing their long standing policy on hate speech if it proves a point. Which will open the doors for white supremacy and hate speech to rule the streaming service. While they may have been able to police it before, this policy won’t help things.





Except they won’t be. So a simple fight between two Youtubers resulted in a colossal fuck up that could determine free speech on the internet forever. That’s enough to make you ask – Steven Crowder’s Youtube Channel:




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font] [br]

Hey El Paso, we’re already one week in to season 7 and I really need a drink!



Of course you know by now the idea with this segment is that we never mix booze and politics, but we do mix booze and comedy! Because what good is life if you can’t joke about it while getting drunk off your ass? Not a very good one if you ask me! So tell me bartender, what goes well with a story about pogo sticking? Nothing? Really? You’re going to leave me dry here? Well, just like mixing booze and politics never goes well, mixing booze and pogo sticking shouldn’t go well either. But I will take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. But we are going to discuss a potentially new form of travel that could revolutionize the industry. Or maybe not.





And if you thought the giant pile of Bird Scooters was an eye sore and a waste of resources, just wait until you check out the unused pile of pogo sticks! Just picture that as one of the least efficient methods of travel possible. And can you imagine these things going up and down the hilly streets of San Francisco? Just think of what the liability insurance for these guys must be!





Ah that’s the stuff!! But guess what? We can make all the fun of this we want and there’s tons of things out there that cell phone apps have brought us like the Bird Scooters that we’d rather forget ever existed, but these guys are serious! I really mean it yo!!!!





Yeah, travel by pogo stick makes about as much sense as chugging a whole bottle of maple syrup – sure you could do it, but sticky and feeling weird and will almost always end in a mess! But does it even matter that this is a thing anymore? I mean in the day and age where batshit crazy stuff happens on a day to day basis and the world as we know it is being turned upside down, does it matter that this is happening?






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]What’s Up With Texas? Pt. 1
[br] [/font] [br]



What is up with Texas? That’s the question that we have on the table here for you. So why the fascination with the Lone Star State? Well, when we were in Austin last year, we got the idea to immerse ourselves in Texas culture. Once you get outside of the major cities – you are in prime MAGA / Fox country. Texas is the single largest state land size in the entire United States of America. It has the second most electoral votes in the country behind California. So we’re starting along the border – El Paso, San Antonio, the n off to Austin, Houston, and final Ft. Worth. And while we are here, we are going to be examining what makes Texas tick. Why do people have such a fascination or hatred for the Lone Star State? Well we’re starting our journey through El Paso – which also happens to be the home of presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke. Now here’s where the ideal plan of Donald Trump’s border wall is coming to a head. In fact there’s a private company that wants to take things to the next level even if the government won’t.





And that’s the plan. And is anyone really that shocked that a company planning to do something shady is caught doing something shady? I know that I’m not! Our journey continues further. I needed to know more about why they were doing what they were planning on doing. In fact the do it yourself border wall is such a SNAFU that it already hit a snag across the state border in New Mexico – where a monument already built on the land is complicating things.





Yeah the last time that someone attempted to build a wall, was in South Park. And really? The name of your group is called “We Build The Wall”? You guys raised the money, surely you could come up with a much better name than that! That’s like an airline that just calls itself “airline”. Or that sleazy prostitute overnight destination called “Motel”. And would you really be surprised that this group simply doesn’t care where it’s building their wall?





So does it matter to the locals whether or not crime is a problem after the makeshit, non government approved wall reduces crime or not? If anything it’s had the opposite effect of what was originally intended. We will explore this topic as we journey further south along the Texas – Mexico border, and it will get crazier. But what do the locals of El Paso think of this gaudy monstrosity? Will it help or will it not?






[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

For Part 2 of our documentary series, we are heading to San Antonio, and to even further south to visit the border town of Leandro – a town that literally shares roads with Mexico, to find out more about the issue known as border crossing.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Blink 182[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest of the 7th season needs no introduction. They are touring this year in support of their classic album Enema Of The State, and you can see them this July and August with Lil Wayne. Playing their song “All The Small Things”, give it up for the one, the only Blink 182!!!




Thank you El Paso! This was fun! We’re off to San Antonio next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: The Comic Strip, El Paso, TX
Special Thanks To: The Comic Strip Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UUC Of El Paso Choir
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Blink 182 Appear Courtesy Of: Columbia Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

June 5, 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of: Fan Favorites Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of: Fan Favorites Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh hello again! While we’re getting ready to go hit the backroads of Texas in search of Lone Star Liberals, we figured that we would bring you some bonus content, because that’s what we do. You know last week our editors combed through all 147 editions of the Top 10 and over 1400 entries and selected their all time favorites that as a whole represents what the Top 10 is all about. This week, we’re letting you, the fans, have your crack at it, and we will reveal below what you selected as your favorites. But starting next week the Top 10 is back for good and wow. I can’t believe we’re starting season 7 already. Season 1 was started on a wing and a prayer, and now we’re still going strong 7 seasons in and we have no signs of stopping. So what do we have in store for season 7? Well we have two huge things – the first is our massive university tour which we rolled out the dates for. Yes, the Top 10 is going back to school! We will also be debuting some fresh content to go along with the universities that we’re going to be touring. While I can’t say what we have in store, let’s say that it will be great as usual. But… while the Mueller Report is going away, we’re not going anywhere. And we will, to the midst of my sanity, still continue to be covering literally Trump’s every single move. And rest assured that the rest of 2019 and continuing into 2020, this is going to be an absolute shit show. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he does a deep dive into the medical device industry:

&t=1s

So here’s what you came up with for your fan favorite entries. The first is what has to be our most requested #1 entry, and it goes all the way back to the first season, to one of the first 20 Top 10s that we did, and Ted Nugent (1) wrote a criminally insane opinion piece that was so insane that the NRA had to apologize for it? And they apologize for nothing! In the second slot, from Idiots #2-4, is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) and apparently, he has no idea how international diplomacy works, because he could have got China to destroy Taiwan, and those two countries hate each other. In the number 3 slot, from Idiots #2-13 is also Donald Trump (3). Remember when Nordstrom ditched the Trump brand and he went completely apeshit and started a huge tirade of boycotts against various stores? Here’s where it started! Taking the fourth slot, from Idiots #4-6, Sean Hannity (4) along with other conservatives, of course have to shit on everything, and they took a huge one on Obama’s official White House portrait, because, Obama Derangement Syndrome. For the number 5 seed, from Idiots #5-7, is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and Looksmaxxers are a thing that exists. They’re like Incels but with the added bonus of unnecessary plastic surgery! For the number 6 slot, from Idiots #4-9, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), our resident pastor is going to introduce you to a church where you can marry your gun, yes, that exists. In the number 7 slot, from Idiots #6-6, is “NO!” (7), remember when Delta attempted to introduce creepy pickup napkins? Yeah they shouldn’t have done that. For the 8th slot, from Idiots #3-16, the first “Beating A Dead Horse” segment tells Trump that he’s really got to let the NFL kneeling protests go, just let it go. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, from Idiots #6-5, is “I Need A Drink” – just shut humanity down! Why do we need to know that women think serial killers are hot? Seriously, fuck our lives! And finally from our British Edition, Idiots #5-23, our series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries (10), hangs out with M:I-6! Plus we also have music from when Slash stopped by! Enjoy! Plus as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Ted Nugent[/font]


From: Idiots #1-15
Ed. Note: This was by *FAR* our most requested #1 feature. Juan G from Oakland writes:

“The NRA is an organization that apologizes for nothing. Wasn’t there that one time where they actually had to apologize for something?”

Good question! And we think we have the answer, and it lies in this criminally insane Op Ed written by NRA board member Ted Nugent:

The republican argument on gun control is a lot like a bad thriller movie. You know it’s going to suck going in, and there’s a lot of plot holes and bad arguments and dialogue to get to the payoff. But you sit through it knowing it sucks because you want to get to the twist at the end of the argument. Because after all that’s how they keep you hooked and coming back for more. It’s like a bad Jerry Bruckheimer produced movie directed by M. Night Shymalan. And no matter how many times you have the formula figured out, there’s people who are willing to take it to new and terrifying extremes. Look at Ted “Pants Crap Fever” Nugent. Just like Donald Trump went Full Hitler, Ted Nugent is heading down that path, possibly vying for a VP position with Der Trumpenfuror. But here’s where Ted has gone full Hitler:





And of course the NRA is in full “move along, nothing to see here” mode:


First off Ted – a word of advice – when you’re in a hole, stop digging!!!



But it gets better – he’s actively attempting to justify it by calling himself a “black man” and a “war hero”. Even Robert Downey Jr.’s Kirk Lazarus character from the 2008 flick Tropic Thunder is wondering what the hell Ted Nugent is smoking. Hell, I want some of whatever he’s smoking, because it must be some pretty strong shit:







He didn’t just say “funk you very much” did he? There’s only one person in the entire world who gets to say that phrase in a proper context, and that is Bootsy Collins. And big difference between Bootsy Colllins and Ted Nugent – Bootsy rules, Nugent doesn’t. Not by a long shot. Allow me to channel Kirk Lazarus for a minute: “Don’t go full Hitler, kid. Never, ever go full Hitler.”. In fact to get the stink of Nugent out of the room, let’s play some Bootsy:






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]


From: Idiots #2-4
Ed. Note: Sheila E. from Colorado Springs writes:

“Donald Trump sure thinks he’s the world’s greatest negotiator, but remember that time he failed big time at bridging the gap between China and Taiwan?”

Well, Sheila, our president has zero fucking clue what he’s supposed to be doing, and I think that’s the idea.

If you haven’t seen the current season of South Park, you must. It takes on Twitter trolling and Donald Trump:



Let’s lighten things up and talk about WWIII, shall we? Do I dare ask for some appropriate music?



Thank you!!!!!

Well it’s the end of the world as we know it folks, and I feel fine. Well REM’s song was only 25 years too early. Because the man who will most likely be responsible for the end of the world is none other than our actual future president Donald J. Trump. So before we dive into this head first, you are aware that Taiwan has been in a diplomatic feud with China over its’ independence and control of the South China Sea, right? Plus we have some long standing diplomatic ties to China. So here’s how Donald J. Trump is involved in this whole thing.





Whoa let’s stop there. Yeah you are wrong there, Donald. So what is the whole controversy between Taiwan and China?

What is the China-Taiwan issue?

Both players claimed, at least formally, to represent all of China — which they considered to include each other’s territory. That created problems, including periodic risks of war, for decades.





That’s not wrong Donald, that’s exactly what happened. So why does this phone call matter?





Holy fucking shit! So with one phone call, Donald Trump may have escalated 40 years of diplomatic tensions! By the way, does it seem odd to anyone else that all the world’s problems seem to have started around oh 1980? Maybe Reagan’s election was the nexus of the universe! Of course I’m surprised we didn’t see time travelers on election night. But there’s more!





So Beijing has told Donald Trump that he’s treading on extremely thin ice here! So he might be the catalyst for World War III after all! He’s already nominated the other three horsemen – Bannon, Sessions, and DeVos to his cabinet! So what else is coming because of this?



So of course Trump retreats to his old friend Twitter for some angry 3:00 AM toilet Tweets. Like these:




Those are the actual Tweets. Of course making ones up is my job, damn it!



And apparently this whole thing has been planned for a long time:



Which prompted the White House to do some major damage control:






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]


From: Idiots #2-13
Ed. Note: Ron F. from Portland, Oregon asks:

“Why do Trump and his crazy followers boycott every product that so much as looks at them funny?”

Well, Ron, that question is probably as old as time itself. But we think we’ve found the origin story.

I love this so much:



As I said in the intro – we’re going after department stores now. Really? So you know by now last week Trump was feuding with Nordstrom after they dropped Ivanka Trump’s line. Can we throw that Tweet up there?

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/829356871848951809





But there’s more and the more you dig into this story the weirder it gets:



It’s a direct attack on the president! Oh no! The horror! And of course like everything Trump is doing, this is having a reverse effect:

Nordstrom's stock went up by more than 4 percent Wednesday after President Trump fired off a tweet criticizing it for discontinuing Ivanka Trump's brands of clothing and other merchandise.






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Conservatives React To Obama Portrait
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #4-6
Ed. Note: Kendall J. from Austin, Texas writes:

“Conservatives are so disgusting! Why do they have to ruin everything they touch?”

We couldn’t agree more, Kendall. In fact, want to know how disgusting conservatives can get? Take a look at their super creepy reactions to the official White House portrait of Barack Obama:



There really isn’t enough batshit crazy for this one. And it might be a new low for Sean Hannity, and this is in the same month he had that epic clusterfuck (See: Idiots #4-5 ). But Hannity doesn’t just run away with his tail between his legs when he knows he’s been defeated. Instead he’s like Popeye – he downs a can of Covfefe and comes back with twice the batshit! And really? The Obama presidential portrait? That’s what you’ve got to attack? Never mind that our rights and civil liberties are being stripped one by one, Obama has a portrait! Squirrel???





In this case, Hannity is *REALLY* making love to the canvas! Excuse me a minute! I feel better! I mean that’s all they got? And why is the first thought “sperm”? I mean are we living in that movie “There’s Something About Mary”? I think Hannity could call this “There’s Something About Obama”, although I do like that graphic! But there’s more to this of course!





I hear Hannity might be looking for an attractive blonde cohost. And by the way if there’s no band starting tomorrow called “Secret Sperm”, I will have lost all faith in the internet! And we might be picking on Hannity for insane conspiracy theories surrounding the Obama portrait (trust us – we are) but he’s not the only one cooking up crazy theories surrounding the portrait!





And our good friend Alex Jones has also repeated this insane theory about the Obama portrait and sperm:





Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…. In this case I don’t want to know what a happy accident is! And by the way I want to introduce to you my new band “Secret Sperm”! And we’ll be playing our debut album “Ritual Of Abomination”! One night only! And Jerome Corsi also took things in a very dark direction, like he does. We may have to profile him in “This Fucking Guy” sometime.



?itemid=5250896

I don’t know why but Hannity’s insane theory suddenly makes innocent Bob Ross clips sound that much creepier. Don’t try to picture that when you go home tonight! I repeat! Don’t do it! “Yes, just ejaculate on the pallet. Now take your sperm, mix it with some blue paint… and then we want a nice little smudge in the bottom right corner. That will just be our little secret!” Whew, this might be the dirtiest entry I’ve ever done! Now… just to get that image out of your head, here’s an article about a guy on the US Men’s Curling team who looks like Mario!








[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Looksmaxing
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #5-7
Ed. Note: Leon W. from Naperville, IL writes:

“Hey Top 10, what’s up with Incels? I just found out my cousin spent $60,000 on unnecessary plastic surgery to make himself look like a Ken Doll. I mean really… WTF? FML.”

Don’t FML yet, Leon. If your cousin is obsessed with the Looksmax movement, he definitely needs to seek psychiatric treatment ASAP!

St. Louis, it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



The era of social media has given rise to some very crazy movements, both good and bad, that you might not have heard of. It’s also given rise to celebrities who wouldn’t otherwise be celebrities. In the last two years, and especially in the last six months since the devastating terror attack in Toronto that killed 8 people, you might have heard of a burgeoning movement called “Incels”. These people – primarily young, under 25 males, call themselves “involuntarily celibate”. But recently, the Incel movement has broken off and given birth to a newer movenement called “Looksmax”. Here is how the Looksmax movement is defined.





Yes unfortunately these people have probably never seen Fight Club. Think of Looksmaxing like the Incel movement but with an added sense of both self superiority and self loathing. But in order to further understand the Incels and the Looksmaxers we must first begin to understand their language.





That’s about the most accurate way of describing Looksmaxing that we can think of. But there’s even more method to the madness than a strange vocabulary and way of looking at the world and even themselves. Incels and Looksmaxers live in a dangerous subculture. One where murder and other horrifying thoughts lurk.





That is probably the way Incels and Looksmaxers see themselves. But if you want to see what kind of celebrity the Incels make their own, look no further than this.





There you have it, that’s not only how Incels see themselves, it’s what kind of celebrities they call their own. That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #4-9
Ed. Note: Melissa V. from Coquitlam, British Columbia writes:

“Why doesn’t the Top 10 come to Canada? We have safe, clean cities and a nice environment where you don’t have to worry about getting shot!”

Well, Melissa, your wish is our command. We are working on coming to Canada for the first half of Season 8 next year, as well as a date in Tijuana, Mexico! Yes, we are going north and south of the border. At least we won’t have to put up with nonsense from gun humpers like this.

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! Time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:



Now in a time of tragedy and national crisis, I ask you, my fair congregation, what can one do to turn to their loved ones for comfort? Some turn to thine food, others turn to their own vices, none of which the lord JAYSUS would approve of! But would one turn to thy vice for… something other than comfort? Thank you sir!





And I thought they were against marrying inanimate objects! But there is more method to the gun nutter’s madness. This ceremony was so scary that it was frightening nearby school children. You know – kind of like a moment in a comedy movie.





Yes – holy shit indeed good sir! For marrying inanimate objects is a SIN!!!! It is one of the most egregious of sins and it says so in the Good Book for I have read it cover to cover! Getting back to other religious wackiness, apparently those who support Trump “taketh thy Bible seriously”! Really?





No you don’t. I know this, Brother Denis, because LYING IS A SIN!!!! AND ONE OF THE MOST EGREGIOUS OF SINS!!! And only your repentance can be saved by the LAWRD and reading the Good Book, it even says so. Unlike many of you hypocrites, I can name the passage where it even says so that lying is a sin, and I suggest you read it too! But woe beith the most persecuted of Christians for they believe some crazy shit!





Yes, I can’t believe someone could be that stupid! Oh wait, yes I can. These are the same people who gave us Pizzagate and Seth Rich – both inherent LIES!!!! And we all know what the Good Book sayeth about lying! But apparently those who opposeth Trump will not see the light of Heaven, and we all know that is a flat out lie!!





If your GAWD is using Trump now to do “his work”, I would certainly hate to see what the devil’s work would look like! Thank you! That is it for this week, I hope this sermon has been enlightening for you, this has been:




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]NO!
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #6-6
Ed. Note: Mike L. from Washington DC writes:

“You know sexism has no place in modern society, but remember that time when airlines attempted to be dating services and failed miserably at it?”

Yup, we remember. And hopefully Delta Airlines does!



Happy Valentine’s Day everybody! And you know with the entire country and world taking notice of the victims of sexual assault in the post #MeToo era, what the fuck was Delta Airlines thinking? Yeah we don’t need this right now. I mean yeah you can talk all you want about how Virgin America had that in seat entertainment system where you could buy anyone a drink and that was creepy enough. But do we really need this?





NO!!!!! The airplane is the last place where I’d expect people passing around creepy pick up notes like this! It’s like being on an elevator. You don’t make friends with random strangers on an elevator, you shut the fuck up, stare at the door until you arrive at your destination! Look guys, there’s a fine line between clever and creepy and this definitely crossed that line.





Yes get a hold of yourself!!! And by the way if you want to be even more grossed out, Twitter’s worst comedian, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, somehow managed to make it even creepier!

https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/1093338203732525056

EW!!!!!!!!!!!!! EW EW EW EW EW!!!!! Wait a minute… EW!!I can guarantee that no one wanted to sign up for your daily newsletter, Mike! And you know here’s the thing, it started out like they were thinking it was going to be a good idea, you know, like having a shady billionaire real estate broker with ties to the New York mafia run for president, and well, just like that, it backfired! Big time!





And if things couldn’t possibly be even creepier do we really need your airline playing match maker for you? I mean here’s the thing – falling in love in 2019 is a bit trickier than it was in 1970 when it was much easier to get away with this kind of thing. And sure, going “old school” may seem like a good idea at the time, but really. And in the words of the great Jerry Seinfeld – “Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?”






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Trump Vs. The NFL
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #3-16
Ed. Note: Denise J. from Royal Oak, Michigan writes:

“My brother is an idiot. He loves Trump and has a seething hatred for the NFL and won’t stop talking about how much he hates the 49s and Colin Kaepernick, and wears a shirt all the time that says “I stand for the flag, I kneel for the cross.” How do I tell him how much of an idiot he is?”

Well Denise, you can!

It’s time to debut our brand new segment:



Remember last week when the worst thing we had to worry about is whether or not NFL players were sitting or standing during the national anthem? Those were good times. Or maybe not . The point of this segment is that there’s no one who’s better at beating dead horses like the GOP. Like the myth that there’s a liberal media out there. Let’s face it – conservatives own most of this country’s newspapers. They own the big 3 TV networks they love to bash and decry as fake news. They own most of this country’s newspapers. They own nearly every local TV station thanks to Sinclair Broadcasting. Nearly 95% of AM radio is conservative leaning talk shows. The American clergy preaches right wing politics. They own Twitter and Facebook. Every political book on every bookshelf is written by a conservative author with the intent of trashing liberals. Fox News is played in more public places than CNN or MSNBC. Even CBS president Les Moonves famously said that Trump isn’t good for the country but he’s good for ratings. Now witness Sean Hannity who continues to beat the dead horse known as the "liberal media" into the ground:

https://twitter.com/seanhannity/status/915356118536167424

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I see what Hannity is doing here – he’s channeling his inner Joseph McCarthy. I’ll tell you what Hannity – we can do one better – how about we go after your advertisers and get them to pull their sponsorship of your hate-filled show? Thank you, and I think my audience would agree with me! But the GOP loves to beat dead horses. Like the liberal media and they’ve been peddling that lie for 40 years. And this week – the one dead horse they love to beat is the controversy surrounding NFL anthem protests. But the controversy that will never die, well, is never dying. And Trump trolls are like King Midas only in reverse – everything they touch turns to shit!





Yeah I’m using Zoidberg memes because that will make this funny. But it gets crazier than that. Lets’ face it folks – we’re in it for a long four years. And I do mean long. Trump has only been in office… 224 days and I feel like I have already aged four years! But Trump just can’t help himself poking the hornets’ nest!





Yeah this thing is turning into as much of a distraction as the squirrels in Up!. I mean really, are we going to go through this shit every single week now? Are we going to make reporters wear the cone of shame so they stop paying attention to this issue? I mean ESPN now has an Anthem Watch! Week4!





But again Trump can’t stop poking the hornets’ nest. Someone really needs to take Fox News away from him!






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #6-6
Ed. Note: Dan B. from Fallbrook, California writes:

“Hey Top 10! I love your program and especially when you guys get drunk on stage. My wife and I were at the Stone Brewery and we were having a very lively discussion on Ted Bundy, but why do I have to hear about how hot he is?”

Well thanks, Dan! It’s good to know who the fans are! And if you want to know why women think serial killers are hot, just watch The Ted Bundy Tapes!

Whew, there was a lot to unpack there. Oh well, I need a drink!



So you know the idea behind this is that we get drunk and talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Because you know when you mix religion and politics, it doesn’t end well for you. Which is why we generally don’t encourage that. But instead we’re going to talk about a favorite topic of ours on this show – serial killers! And this entry is for the ladies, because really, what are you doing? Tell me bartender – what goes well with a documentary about Ted Bundy? Some fava beans and a nice chianti? Eh, I’ll stick with my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. So last week Netflix premiered “Conversations With A Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes”. And well, the dialogue that has come out about this movie isn’t about what a gruesome killer Ted Bundy was. Nope, and I’m sure Netflix didn’t plan for this either!





Um… I’ll take both! Ted Bundy is hot, yo! And that’s the scary thing. Serial killers aren’t hot. They’re serial killers. I mean did Dexter glamourize the world of serial killers? Yeah probably. Here’s the thing, Netflix, if you don’t want a serial killer to be seen as hot, maybe, I don’t know, don’t case a heartthrob like Zac Efron in the role! But maybe… just maybe they’re secretly loving this!





And that’s exactly what I will do! And by the way here’s the thing ladies, you should realize that before you go sexualizing serial killers, be aware that it has consequences. And Netflix, before you go scolding viewers for sexualizing serial killers, you should aware that this is a feature of modern society, not a bug!





Yes and if you think you can “fix” a serial killer, just take Dexter’s advice. Ted Bundy was a complete monster. But then again lost in the conversation of whether or not Ted Bundy was hot is the fact that Netflix, in their infinite quest to prove that they can and will sign anything, paid a ton of money to make Ted Bundy great again!






[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 23: M:I-6
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #5-23
Ed. Note: John K. from Norwich, England writes:

“Hey Top 10, my mate and I were at your London show. Any chance you might come back to England?”

Well John, we won’t be able to make it back this year but we’re definitely planning on coming back for 2020, and we may do more than one show. We’re also planning on possibly going to Ireland, Sweden, and France while we are here. In the meantime here’s our piece from our British edition on M:I-6:



It’s time for episode 23 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]M:I-6/font]
https://t2.rbxcdn.com/0f24ba664d4ea25bd47a49ea19383985

We need some music for this one!



Yes for our edition of Deep State Diaries this week we figured that we would pay tribute to our British hosts by talking about the British counterpart to the organization we discussed last week – the Central Intelligence Agency. This week we’re delving into and hanging out with the British counterpart – the Military Intelligence: Section 6. If you recognize who M:I-6 is, that is of course the employer of James Bond from the 007 movies. But what else does the super secret organization do when their agents are not going out on world tours to exotic locales and having sex with some of the most beautiful women on the planet? Well stuff like this. So where did the inspiration for M come from?





Yeah so James Bond was partly inspired by real life M:I-6 agents! How about that? So that said how does M:I-6 take on different agencies like ISIS and Al’Qaeda from say, the CIA? Or maybe one of the big fish of the espionage world, Russia? Well it’s really interesting to get the M:I-6 perspective.





So I can guess M:I-6 job interviews are kind of like that? Or maybe it’s like Kingsman: The Secret Service, another movie which I am a huge fan of? And speaking of technology how does M:I-6 prepare for the forthcoming technological wars, of which most hated foe Russia, is handling things?





And that is a good question, sir! Why not stay dead? Well here’s the thing when discussing spies and spy technology, it’s probably best not to underestimate what they’re currently capable of, since we currently have spy technology available right in our very own pockets!





But when it comes to the spy game, Trump is about to do something absolutely terrifying and if you’re not alarmed about this prospect, as I have seen just about every spy movie made in the last 5 years and I know what happens when you get names of agents leaked out in the open! Yeah it ends extremely horribly and Trump is going to do it!





[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: B+
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

For our season finale we’re going back to Washington, DC to discuss one of the most hated of all government agencies – the IRS! Yes, we came all this way just to make an IRS joke!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Slash Feat Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen my next guest has a great new album called “Living The Dream”, you can see them live Feb 19th at The Dome at Doncaster and Feb 20th at Eventim Apollo. Playing their song “Driving Rain”, give it up for Slash feat Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators!





Want to be featured in a future Best Of? There’s plenty of ways to get in touch with us! See you next week for a brand new edition live from El Paso!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Theater Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCLA Choir Club, Westwood, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Slash Appears Courtesy Of: Roadrunner Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 on Twitter at: @churchofthetop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

June 5, 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete 7th Season

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete 7th Season

Season 6: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211623942
Season 5: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210720590
Season 4: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210083764
Season 3: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210008235
Season 2: https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029078791
Season 1: https://www.democraticunderground.com/1016169212

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yes, this is our 7th, repeat: 7th season. And when we started this thing we had no idea how long it would go on for. 160 editions and over 1600 entries later, we're still going strong! And we still have 10 fresh entries coming at you each week along with some fresh new content. Because conservatives aren't letting up on the insanity any time soon and are actually doubling down in what is coming to be the final year of the guy who we currently call president's final year of what will hopefully be his only term. So what do we have in store for you this year? Well we will have all of our usual favorites like How Is This Still A Thing?, This Fucking Guy, People Are Dumb, I Need A Drink, NO, and we will also be debuting new segments to go along with our perennial favorites. And also some fresh new sounds for 2019 as well! As long as there's conservative idiocy, we will be there covering it with our armchair Daily Show brand of humor to find some relevance of sanity in the Donald J. Trump administration. So with that in mind here's where we are going with the complete 7th season of the Idiots! Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!

Edition #7-1: God Save The Nobel President Man-Baby Edition (6/12/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212183177

Live from El Paso! As always, whenever the Top 10 is on an extended break, we like to play catch up on stuff that we missed which includes a whole lot of insanity coming from the Trump White House. Trump took a trip to England which was an absolute disaster from the moment he was greeted with a giant penis mowed on a field when he arrived to his children crashing the Royal Dinner. Trump gives a completely unhinged interview on the Piers Morgan show and we will go through some of the juicier bits of the interview. In a new edition of "This Week In Hate", conservatives are cranking up the apocalypse scenario and civil war hysteria way past 11 and we will tell you all of the ways that hate is making a comeback. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at Mt. Everest. Yeah climbing to the peak of the world's highest mountain is one of the coolest things a person can do, but is it worth dying for? No! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor spent his vacation touring around the country televangelist style and he will tell you all about private jets for Jesus, because frequent flyer miles are for godless heathens! We also have a new segment of "NO!" and really people, straight pride parades are a thing? Go fuck yourselves. And yes, Smash Mouth did own the internet. We have a new edition of "How Is This Still A Thing" and while Youtube is cracking down on racist and white supremacist content, there's another channel that has gone unscathed and it's owned by Christian nationalist Stephen Crowder and we're going to ask "Stephen Crowder's Youtube Channel: How Is This Still A Thing?". We also have a new "I Need A Drink". There's a Swedish start up company that's trying to make travel by pogo stick a thing, and we're going to have some drinks and tell you why that will not end well. And it won't end well for us either. And since we're in the Lone Star State for a special 5 edition stretch, we're going to take a look at what makes it tick in our special 5 part series "What's Up With Texas?". This week it's Part 1 where we are going to find out what's up with a teacher who thought that she was tweeting Trump privately about border security but those tweets are very public.
Live Musical Guest: Blink 182

**Edition #7-2: Top 10 Gets Bumped For A Talking Puppet Show**

Note: We had things planned for this edition but a scheduling conflict at our host venue caused that to go very south but did manage to get Pt. 2 of our What's Up With Texas docuseries where we visit the border town of Laredo - a town that literally shares roads with Mexico - to find out what the climate is like there in regards to immigration. And that will appear in a future Best Of edition, as will our Holy Shit segment on Weather Warrior and self-proclaimed prophetess Katt Kerr.

Edition #7-3: Keeping Up With The Nazis Edition (6/26/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212222188

Live from Austin! After Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez compares Trump's border detention facilities to Nazi concentration camps and ignites a debate, we examine just how close we are to Nazi Germany - and the comparisons are more inevitable then you might think. And equally as horrifying. Meanwhile, Trump announces his reelection bid while the biggest newspaper in his announcement city declines to endorse him! Mitch McConnell makes some controversial comments about slave reparations and actually sparks a serious discussion in Congress. Now what did you learn Mitch? Sarah Sanders announces her resignation from the Trump administration, making her the latest tribute eliminated from the Trumper Games! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, Facebook wants to launch its' own, fully financially backed cyber currency called the Libre, but we play devil's advocate and examine all the ways it could possibly go wrong. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is on a quest to find out who really controls the weather? Is it GAWD or is it divine forces or is it some crackpot with a tin foil hat and a cell phone? We'll let you be the judge! We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - what's Trump's beef with the Central Park 5? A new Netflix series has reignited his 30 year old feud with the group and he's doubling down on his attacks. Really, let it go, man. We also have a new edition of "People Who Somehow Got Elected" and this week we're adding embattled San Diego representative Duncan Hunter to that ever growing list. We have a new edition of People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And the next installment of our "What's Up With Texas" docuseries takes us to the largest capitol building outside of Washington, DC where we attempt to get interviews with Dan Patrick and Greg Abbott but mostly get told to piss off.
Live Musical Guest: Amon Amarth

Edition #7-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Hidden World Edition (7-3-19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212240438

Live from Houston! We recap all of the 10+ candidates who debated each other in the first of what will be the longest election debate cycle ever as democrats are pit against each other with Rachel Maddow monitoring - it's the GOP's worst nightmare come true! Meanwhile, after a long and hard fought battle from mass shooting survivors and anti-gun activists, we score a major victory as the NRA finally closes the doors on its' 24/7 lifestyle channel, NRATV. The 2019 SCOTUS begins deliberations on a number of cases and we will go through some of the juicier ones including the controversial census question case, and the gerrymandering decision - neither of which are good. We also have a preview of Trump's insane July 4th Americagasm Patriotic Extravaganza!! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, the CEO of Hilton Hotels claims that he doesn't tip his housekeepers which, shocker, sparked the internet outrage machine - but is he right or wrong? We will investigate and let you be the judge! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, our resident pastor is going to find out who among the Christian right is a false prophet - and tell you exactly what the good LAWRD thinks of them! We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - Madonna and Taylor Swift both have controversial music videos out, and what does the internet outrage machine think of them? We will examine both sides of the argument. And in Portland, after yet *ANOTHER* Proud Boys rally gets crashed by Antifa, we ask "the Proud Boys vs Antifa - how is this still a thing?". We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And in Pt. 4 of our 5 part docuseries "What's Up With Texas", we explore the Gulf Coast and what's going on after one of the biggest domestic hurricane disasters since Katrina!
Live Musical Guest: The Mountain Goats

Edition #7-5: The Battle For LaGuardia Terminal C Food Court Edition (7/10/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212263626

Live from Dallas! Trump's BFF, already convicted billionaire sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, is arrested again and this may deal a massive blow to Trump's reelection bid as he's outed as a BFF. After Trump royally screws up his speech at his Washington DC July 4th Amerciagasm Spectacular rally, we teach him some basic history after he gets it wrong even reading a teleprompter! We also recap his insane MAGA rally which was more of a stunning admission of what martial law would look like if it took place in the US than anything else. We also talk about Trump's latest war involving the US Census - after SCOTUS struck down the ban, is it possible for him to delay the census? The answer to that may surprise you! Meanwhile in Washington DC, the Proud Boys take their fight against Antifa from the streets of Portland to our nation's capital and it's going to be a colossal shit show! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at the latest developments in Boeing's ill-fated 737 Max 8 and while none of it is good, tracing the roots of the problem might be easier than we think. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit" - how is GAWD working to protect the government? Our resident pastor is going to examine multiple instances of this and he will let you be the judge, while also keeping his tax exempt status! In the latest "Beating A Dead Horse" - OK conservatives, we get it! You hate Nike, you really hate Nike! So what did they do to piss you off this time? Stop it already! Meanwhile, after screwing Nike and possibly his entire state out of millions of dollars over a dick partisan political move, we add Arizona governor Doug Ducey to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. We also have a new "I Need A Drink" and folks, America's favorite trash talking playground pastime dodgeball is under attack and they are all fatty fat fat losers. And the final part of our "What's Up With Texas" docuseries profiles college life at two rivaling universities - University of Texas in Ft Worth and Texas A&M in College Station!
Live Musical Guest: Trey Anastasio

Edition #7-6: Three Men & A Subpoena Edition (7/17/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212287973

Live from the University of Georgia! We take a look at the latest developments in the Jeffrey Epstein case and it's about to get the doors blown wide open, while at the same time getting weirder and creepier. It turns out that the Seth Rich Conspiracy that Trump fans have been hanging onto this whole time was in fact a Russian social media hit job orchestrated by Putin's IRA, and the media bought it and funneled it. Meanwhile, President Stable Genius holds a summit at the White House for ultra far right social media personalities to discuss why the real world is mean to them. As the US celebrates the world champion US Women's National Team, the republicans look for patriotic symbolism in the victory and it backfires on them big time. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, Bernie Sanders has made the student loan crisis a huge issue in his campaign, but how just bad is it? We will examine this issue. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, our resident pastor is becoming alarmed at the fact that god is bringing in his brand of fire and brimstone punishment on the masses, but do we deserve it? Yeah probably. And in "Beating A Dead Horse", when is it socially acceptable to take sides in a boycott? After Trump announces his support of Home Depot after a planned boycott, all bets are off! In "We're All Gonna Die", California experienced a pair of some seriously damaging earthquakes over the July 4th holiday, but just how bad is it? It could be disastrous. We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And we end this week by debuting our new segment "Keeping Up With The Candidates" and the first episode is going to explore the almost-rans including rep. Eric Swalwell!
Live Musical Guest: Bastille

Edition #7-7: Scary 4chan, Bianca's Dead Edition (7/24/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212312778

Live from the University Of Florida! Rand Paul blocks yet *ANOTHER* advancement to the 9/11 First Responders Bill, prompting us to ask: "The 9/11 First Responders Bill: How Is This Still A Thing?". Meanwhile Trump not only doubles down on his racist tweets, they are so vile that they prompt Congress to formally declare and denounce them as racist. Also, Trump narrowly escapes his first impeachment hearing. For now. Meanwhile, notoriously toxic internet message board 4chan is under fire after a teenage social media influencer is murdered by an Incel and pictures of her show up on the forums. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at the status of Planned Parenthood after yet *ANOTHER* CEO is ousted after a very short period. This is fine. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to talk about how GAWD needs money and while televangelists are living the ultra luxury lifestyle, they're going broke! We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - really people, you're mad about casting in "The Little Mermaid"? Come on, we'll give you plenty of other casting choices you should be outraged about. We also have a new edition of "This Fucking Guy" and this week we're going to profile extreme right wing pundit Josh Bernstein. Whew, this fucking guy is CRAZY. Also, since we're in Florida, how about another round of an All Florida Man edition of People Are Dumb? Because Florida Man doesn't take a holiday and neither do we! And our second edition of Keeping Up With The Candidates is going to take a look at what's going on in the Alabama Senate. They didn't win our Stupidest State Contest for nothing!
Live Musical Guest: 311

Edition #7-8: Wheel Of Corruption Reboot Edition (7/31/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212335207

Live from the University Of North Carolina! We recap all the testimony and the fallout from Mueller's testimony on Capitol Hill - how effective was it? And did it accomplish anything? Probably. Meanwhile, in the UK, they announce Boris Johnson as their new Prime Minister, a man who is so much like Trump that he even looks like him. Welcome to your new national nightmare, England! Bill Barr wants to bring back the death penalty and we discuss how that could either be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. After Trump makes some outrageous claims about where he really was on 9/11, and we put our crack investigative team on the case. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at some alarming statistics about your favorite phone-based meal delivery services and they are frightening enough that they might make you think twice before you hit that "order" button. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", Kanye West is looking to monetize his latest venture into religion with his Sunday Sermons by doing what Kanye does best - merchandising! What does our resident pastor think of this new move? Only one way to find out! We play a new game of "Is It Racist?" in response to a North Carolina woman who said some extremely racist stuff in a restaurant and ignited the age-old debate, and yes, it probably was extremely racist. In our latest edition of "NO!!!!", we're going to tell you that no one wants to hear your bullshit theories about the Clinton Body Count, or Clinton Foundation, we've heard them all! And we're sick of it! We also have a new edition of "I Need A Drink" - copious amounts of booze and an argument about "fancy dress" led to a massive brawl on a British cruise ship, and this might be one of the most England stories ever. And the third installment of our ongoing series Keeping Up With The Candidates is going to introduce you to a challenger of one of the members of Trump's "The Squad" and if you guessed that she is a crazy Qanon loving conspiracy theorist, well, you are correct!
Live Musical Guest: Death Cab For Cutie

**Top 10 Takes A Week Off (8/7/17)**

Edition #7-9: Suicide With A Chance Of Murder Edition (8/14/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212379509

Live from the University Of Kentucky! In a not at all shocking move, Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide in prison - but was the troubled accused billionaire pedophile "suicided" or was it murder? We prove that your conspiracy theories are a steaming pile of bullshit. Meanwhile, after 3 mass shootings in less than a week, our current president, Donald J. Trump goes to "console" the victims and winds up using a baby whose parents were murdered as a photo op. We have a new segment of "NO!" - in response to mass shootings and Trump's inane ramblings on Twitter, Paramount decided to cancel the release of a new movie where humans are hunted for sport called "The Hunt". Yeah bad idea, guys. Also, Trump doesn't get satire. In the "Too Soon?" column, the outrage machine directs its' ire at the billionaire owner of the Miami Dolphins, Stephen Ross, over his decision to host a $250K a plate dinner fundraiser for Trump. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, Las Vegas is being taken over by grasshoppers, and not just a few - there's a grasshopper invasion that's taking over downtown that's visible from space! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", get ready for spiritual warfare, people! Our resident pastor will help you draw up your battle plans! And in "Beating A Dead Horse", 25 years after video games were first blamed for an increase in violence, that circular firing squad argument was reintroduced after 2 mass shootings in one day, and really, it's same shit, different day. And since Tucker Carlson and the NRA are doing damage control, Tucker Carlson is once again shooting his mouth off about white supremacy which cost him sponsors, so we are going to ask "The Tucker Carlson Show - How Is This Still A Thing"? We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And the next edition of Keeping Up With The Candidates is going to hang out with Texas darling Beto O'Rourke!
Live Musical Guest: Alice In Chains

Edition #7-10: Springtime For Twitler Edition (8/21/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212398324

Live from Rutgers University in New Jersey! In one of the most colossal douchebag partisan dick moves of his presidential term so far, Trump goes out of his way to make sure that 1st representatives Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib are barred from visiting Isreal, because, reasons. Steve King, Iowa representative and racist douchebag extraordinaire makes what might be one of the most racist things ever said, by anyone in the history of ever. Meanwhile in Portland, the Proud Boys regroup to attack Antifa protesters once again, and Antifa takes the bait while the Trump ponders whether or not to declare Antifa a terrorist organization (they're not by a long shot). The Jeffrey Epstein case gets weirder and creepier and we're going to play armchair detective and find out where is his mistress Ghislaine Maxwell? In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at what's fueling a rise in Trump inspired crimes? These are some extremely frightening statistics here. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is it OK for Louisiana to display "In God We Trust" signs all over public schools? Our resident pastor weighs in on this religious freedom issue! In "Beating A Dead Horse" - Quentin Tarantino's latest flick "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood" has exposed his beef with legendary kung fu master Bruce Lee, and neither side is happy about it. After a twitter spat that got his company investigated for fraudulent business practices, we profile the CEO of Barstool Sports, Dave Portnoy, in a new edition of "This Fucking Guy". In "I Need A Drink" - we will get drunk and try the new Heinz mustard flavored ice cream, and later regret our decision to do so. And in the latest installment of our premature 2020 voting guide, we're taking a look at the governor of the great state of Colorado, John Hickenlooper!
Live Musical Guest: Cage The Elephant

**Top 10 show at Syracuse unfortunately got cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances**

Top 10 Best Of #9 (NEIN!!!): Labor Day Edition
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212437777

Best Of! From Idiots #7-3, we draw some parallels from history and current events and ponder the question - just how close are we to Nazi Germany? From Idiots #6-17 - another Trump firing means that there's another Tribute resigning from the Trumper Games! And this is a big one as Rod Rosenstein resigns from the Trump Russian investigation. From Idiots #6-16, Trump went to Wisconsin for another one of his rah rah rallies and made some absolutely absurd claims, which like a fine wine need much fermentation! From Idiots #7-7 - did members of the ultra far right radical underground bunker known as 4chan have influence on the murder of a teenage social influencer? The answer is shocking but it is 2019. From Idiots #6-18, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, takes a look at why anti-vaxxers are latching onto an old episode of the Brady Bunch to make bizarre claims about measles. Yeah that's a thing. From Idiots #7-8, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor examines Kanye West's controversial plan to make money off his recent venture into hipster religion. From Idiots #7-5, "Beating A Dead Horse" takes a look at the conservative feud with shoe manufacturer Nike which was taken to new extremes with yet another planned boycott. From Idiots #7-3, after a lawsuit against Twitter for an absurd amount of money, we add California's Devin Nunes to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. From Idiots #7-9, People Are Dumb takes a look at some naked dudes, people on drugs, and stupid criminals in our attempt to laugh at the lighter side of the news. Finally from Idiots #7-8, our handy voting guide to the 2020 election, Keeping Up With The Candidates, takes a look at Ilhan Omar's challenger to MN-5, and she's definitely one of Trump's people with multiple DUI convictions and a tendency to love Qanon conspiracies.
Musical Guest: 311

Edition #7-11: This Is The Story Of A Hurricane Edition (9/11/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212456517

Live from Michigan State University! As always whenever we are off for an extended period of time, we like to catch up on stuff we missed which includes a whole lot of hurricane price gouging and the latest mishaps from the Proud Boys at Boston's Straight Pride Parade. Back in Washington, DC - Trump takes on Hurricane Dorian in the most Donald Trump way possible - a sharpie followed by some gold and some exceptionally angry toilet tweeting. Meanwhile in England, the latest from the Brexit disaster is that Boris Johnson lost his conservative supermajority in Parliament, making his latest Brexit proposals a lame duck. With the latest string of mass shootings, mass shooting hysteria has been at an all time high so we examine some of the myths and urban legends of how and why mass shootings happen. And once again speaking of guns, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, is going to show you Michigan's controversial new Fruitport High - a school that's being designed with mass shootings in mind. Because, banning guns is so much harder. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", a Catholic school in Nashville has banned the beloved Harry Potter book series because, witchcraft, and our resident pastor is going to examine the issue and provide alternatives! In "Beating A Dead Horse" - why does Mitch McConnell hate being called "Moscow Mitch"? Well we here have no sympathy but for the party that loves to "trigger the snowflakes", they really are a bunch of snowflakes! And we also have "NO!" - really Debra Messing, we don't need a registry and Hollywood blacklist of Trump supporting actors. We've seen what happens before when they get blacklisted. And in "I Need A Drink", people really love Popeye's new fried chicken sandwich, and the social media furor is causing people to go to extremes to try the greasy delight, so we will imbibe and try one! Plus the next round of our 2020 voting guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates" is going to examine the latest round of dropouts from the democratic primaries.
Live Musical Guest: King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

Edition #7-12: Vaping Death Edition (9/19/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212474128

Live from Northwestern University! After the CDC issues warnings about the inherent dangers of flavored electronic cigarettes, Trump acts very quickly to ban them, but not a peep on AR-15s. While the world was remembering the horrible events of 9/11/01, Trump remembers the tragedy by making it all about him. The debate on the legitimacy of Brett Kavanaugh's SCOTUS seat heats up as a new New York Times article is published, and Trump once again takes Kav's side, but the whole deal is messier than you might think. Meanwhile, across the pond, the top secret papers known as Operation Yellowhammer look to put the kibosh on a hard Brexit deal once and for all, but what are the implications of that that they're not telling us? In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at the latest developments in the opioid crisis which include a pair of pharmaceutical companies getting their just deserts, while community outcries are going unheard by local governments. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is a coup brewing at Liberty University? After a shocking article lands Jerry Falwell Jr in the hot seat, our resident pastor is going to delve into the self-proclaimed champion of morals and values, and he might be who he says he is. In "Beating A Dead Horse" - we're going to do a deep dive into the "liberals are too PC" argument, but really, the most PC people out there are conservative white males. After a special election that saw Trump's meddling, we add North Carolina's Dan Bishop to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And in our 2020 voter's guide Keeping Up With The Candidates, we're going to re-introduce you to a guy who could make a sizable impact in the quest for the GA Senate, John Ossoff!
Live Musical Guest: The Raconteurs

Edition #7-13: You Should See Me In A Crown Victoria Edition (9/25/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212502106

Live from University Of Missouri! In a Top 10 first, there was so much crazy news that happened last week that we had to consolidate a whole bunch of planned entries into one in a new segment that we are calling "So That Happened". Trump escalates his bizarre feud with the auto industry by cutting off California's ability to control the state's ultra strict emissions standards and roll them back to the stone ages. Meanwhile, in Michigan, vice president Mike Pence breaks a 100 year tradition and drives an 8 SUV strong motorcade through historic Mackinac Island, to much horror of the residents and Michiganders. Back in Los Angeles, after another overdose in his West Hollywood apartment, the arrest of billionaire donor Ed Buck may be far more horrifying than we could have ever imagined. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at a ticket selling scam that targeted fans of the Black Keys at their tour debut show in Los Angeles that turned what was supposed to be an innocent evening out into an absolute nightmare. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is it your god given right to own a gun? Our resident pastor attended an event on the subject and he's got some thoughts. In "Beating A Dead Horse" - can we really be surprised when Saturday Night Live attempts to appeal to conservative voters and they found the most racist and sexist actor they possibly could? No. After it's back in the news after a long absence when Trump starts floating the conspiracy again, we ask "Clean Coal - How Is This Still A Thing?". In a new "I Need A Drink", we're going to fly to Area 51 in Nevada, have some cocktails and attempt to see them aliens as the Storm Area 51 Event actually happens, and there wasn't really much storming going on. And finally the next chapter in our 2020 voters' guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates", we're going to our home state of California to hang with Kamala Harris!
Live Musical Guest: The Black Keys

Edition #7-14: Wheel Of Corruption: Sign O' The Times Edition (10/2/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212537340

Live from the University Of Kansas! Nancy Pelosi drops the big one and announces a formal inquiry into the impeachment of the 45th president of the United States, Donald Trump - who quickly retaliates by angry hate-tweeting. We also delve into who the whistleblowers are - the people that leaked the context of the phone call between Trump and Ukraine that got the impeachment inquiry started. Meanwhile, we are introduced to 16 year old activist Greta Thunberg who traveled from her native Sweden to New York to testify before the UN on climate change, and she has the alt right squirming. Plus there's new details in the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoogi - did or did not Saudi Arabia do the dirty deed? In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we're going take a look at why the employees of General Motors are striking and it has a lot more to do with just their pay and benefits. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit" - after the Dark One promotes his theories on "religious freedoms" ahead of climate science, our resident pastor does a number on him and explains what "religious freedom" truly is. In "Beating A Dead Horse" - can a movie be too violent? We examine multiple controversies behind the origin flick of everyone's favorite Batman villain - the Joker and the controversy surrounding it. Plus we also have a new "This Fucking Guy" - and this week we add one of the biggest creepy weirdos in the country and Trump's personal attorney Rudy Giuliani to the list. And whew, he is crazy! Plus Trump may have shot his mouth off a bit. And the next edition of our 2020 Voters' Guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates" - where does your favorite candidate stand on impeaching Trump? We will examine who stands what and where!
Live Musical Guest: Steel Pulse

***10/9 - Top 10 Takes A Week Off***

Edition #7-15: Dancing With The Czars Edition (10/16/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212589399

Live from Arizona State University! We discuss how far meme creation can go when an event held at Mar-A-Lago features a shocking and very poorly edited scene from the 2014 flick "Kingsman: The Secret Service" that shows Trump murdering all of his political opponents in a very gruesome fashion. Trump also steps in it when he unleashes holy hell on the Turkey - Syria conflict at Putin's discretion, because reasons. We also recap the latest Trump rallies in Minneapolis and Louisiana, which, while insane, actually prove to be somewhat effective in getting the message out to the masses. Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani's aides have been, in a not at all shocking turn of events, caught violating campaign finance laws. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, Stockton, California is one of the first cities in the nation to provide a Europe-like free money incentive. What is it? And what are people spending this money on? We will investigate and bring you the hard facts! In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit" - our resident pastor attended the annual Values Voters Summit, and well, how long before he casts a spell on the unholy Dark One? In "Beating A Dead Horse" - South Park has called out China on media censorship, and is it OK for celebrities to support Hong Kong protestors? We also have a new "How Is This Still A Thing" and after the Atlanta Braves fail to advance in the playoffs again, we ask "The Tomahawk Chop: How Is This Still A Thing?". And in "I Need A Drink", speaking of sports, the Philadelphia Flyers have introduced a new way to enjoy hockey! As if we didn't need one! Finally in our 2020 voters' guide - "Keeping Up With The Candidates" - we will update you with what went down during the October democratic debates!
Live Musical Guest: Fitz & The Tantrums

Edition #7-16: Bed Bugs & Broomsticks Edition (10/23/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212615099

Live from UNLV in Las vegas! When there's so much crazy shit happening in the news, like your favorite pasta sauce, we put all the ingredients into a blender and hit puree in our segment "So That Happened". In sad news, longtime Baltimore representative Elijah Cummings passed away and we will show you the MAGA world's sad and utterly predictable reactions to his death. Meanwhile, Trump's attempt at international diplomacy has the whole world questioning his incompetence when he pens a batshit crazy letter to Turkey's prime minister Tayyip Erdogan. Back at home, it's been made aware that the 2020 G7 summit is going to be held in Miami at the Trump Hotel, in a not at all shocking and partisan move. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates - is your baby's food contaminated? After a shocking study that was posted involving the Gerber Corporation, it turns out that it's an extremely likely and very horrifying possibility! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", the apocalypse is imminent people! Our resident pastor will go through some of the crazier doomsday theories out there, while offering a few of his own! We also have a new "This Fucking Guy" in which we are going to tell you about Christian firebrand podcaster and hardcore Qanon conspiracy theorist Chris McDonald! In our new segment "Unpopular Opinions", we're going to tell you what we really think of student loan tycoon Sallie Mae after they got caught grifting with their pants down! We also have a new People Are Dumb, because there's always a never ending stream of stupid people! And in our 2020 voters' guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates, Hawaii's Tulsi Gabbard really needs to put down the Covfefe as she goes on a defensive attacking Hillary Clinton after the media grossly misinterprets Clinton's statement about her. WTF?
Live Musical Guest: Sturgill Simpson

Edition #7-17: Butt Dialing For Jesus Edition (10/30/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212638651

Live from Oregon State! Halloween Spooktacular! We add Florida representative Matt Gaetz (R-obviously) to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. Republicans decide that protecting the Trump cult is more important than letting the wheels of justice spin as they storm Capitol Hill in a stunt that hilariously backfired on them and could have severe consequences for their jobs moving forward. Trump has a horrible week in which he gets booed at the World Series and hilariously attempts to explain his way out of building a wall in Colorodo. Rudy Giuliani butt dials his way into a disaster and possibly several felonies while being investigated for the previous felonies he may have committed. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates - why is Amazon working with Trump's ICE? And why is there a boycott and backlash brewing against it? We will find out what's going on . And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, Kanye West is back and he's converted! We will examine his new gospel album "Jesus Is King" and provide some insights into the new tracks! And in "Beating A Dead Horse" - we love a good beef and there's one currently brewing between legendary Oscar winning director Martin Scorsese and the head honcho of the MCU, Kevin Feige, and should you be allowed to enjoy the MCU? Really it's just entertainment, folks! In a new episode of "NO!", what the fuck is Harvey Weinstein doing at a showcase for young actresses? Is irony not lost on this psychopath? Who are we kidding, psychos have no sense of irony. We also have a new People Are Dumb, which includes one of the most insane Florida Man stories of all time! And no we're not exxagerating, either! And in our 2020 voters' guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates", Texas' Beto O'Rourke is one candidate who has taken the most thorough and controversial stance of any candidate to date on our nation's gun violence epidemic, but how does his buyback program work? We will attempt to explain to your NRA loving relatives!
Live Musical Guest: Korn

Edition #7-18: Do The Soviet Style Edition (11/6/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212660991

Live from Gonzaga University in Spokane! The impeachment trial is put to its' first vote and conservatives still don't get the word "inquiry", but according to Steve Scalise, are the impeachment proceedings "Soviet Style"? The answer is easily nyet! In "We're All Gonna Die", it's fire season in California while the climate in the rest of the world isn't much better, but are we all going to die from this disastrous weather? Probably. Meanwhile, the latest developments in the impeachment proceedings are a disaster which includes Giulani's cyber security fail and Trump retweeting AM radio talk show hosts. Meanwhile, in Washington DC, the Nationals are your 2019 World Series Champions, and the fans have some choice words for the guy who we currently call president! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, one of Costco's most popular food stuffs is the $4.99 rotisserie chicken, but what really goes into that bird you're consuming? A hell of a lot, actually! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", Halloween has come and gone, but is it a holiday to practice witchcraft? The Christian right is gunning for your soul - both literally and figuratively on this one! And in "Beating A Dead Horse" - Delta is under fire after nixing the gay scenes from the movies "Booksmart" and "Rocketman" and even after they put the scenes back, they're still under fire. Really guys let it go! And after California Rep. Katie Hill's disastrous departure, we discuss the topic of "revenge porn" in "Revenge Porn: How Is This Still A Thing?". And in "I Need A Drink", we explore the strange world of Ghostbusters star Bill Murray after he hilariously applied to work at the Atlanta Airport P.F. Chang's. Plus in a special "Keeping Up With The Candidates" - Georgia's massive voter purge should have everyone terrified. But what does it mean in the long run? You should be terrified if it comes to your state!
Live musical guest: Beck

Edition #7-19: No Country For Old Snowflakes Edition (11/14/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212682972

Live from Boise State! The election results are in and the Blue Wave continues as one of the least popular governors in the country - Kentucky's Matt Bevin - is swept from office! But he's not going down without a fight! Meanwhile, in an attempt to find applause at a non pre-screened sporting event, the University Of Alabama is under fire for the way it's treating its' students who protest Trump at the AL - LSU game. Meanwhile, the battle against impeachment is brewing as Alex Jones outs a juror, while Trump Jr attempts to out one of the whistleblowers who's attempting to testify against Trump. In Kentucky, where Matt Bevin loses, Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul are running scared and McConnell picks a fight with the wrong guy who could pose a serious threat to him in 2020. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, how safe is the food and water you consume when you're on your next flight? An alarming study suggests that you might want to think twice before asking for that extra cup of water. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is not pleased that the unholy Dark One has appointed his spiritual advisor to a White House position, and he will unleash his thoughts on the subject. In "Beating A Dead Horse", we have to talk about something particularly creepy and unpleasant as rapper T.I. revealed something about his relationship with his daughter that will turn the "ick" factor up way past 11! We also add the newly elected governor of Mississippi, Tate Reeves, to the ever-growing list of "People Who Somehow Got Elected". And in "I Need A Drink", bands are cracking down more than ever on cell phones being used in concerts, and Maynard James Keenan and Tool have been among the most vocal, but do anti-cell phone policies work? We will drink and find out! And in "Keeping Up With The Candidates", the 2019 election results are in! While many were small, some things happened that could be a huge indicator of where we are going in 2020!
Live Musical Guest: The 1975

Edition #7-20: Wheel Of Corruption Presents Hobbs & Shaw Edition (11/20/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212711400

Live from UC Berkeley! The impeachment trial is going about as well as you'd expect for Trump, and we have all the juiciest bits from week #1 which includes Jim Jordan making a complete ass of himself. Meanwhile, Trump's White House is proving to be an absolute dumpster fire of an organization under Trump's reign of terror as they are in complete panic mode leading up to the impeachment hearing. Meanwhile, Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar puts in a request to the ACLU to confirm what we've all been suspecting, and it's far worse than we thought - Stephen Miller is indeed a Nazi. After mounting evidence is growing against controversial SCOTUS justice Brett Kavanaugh, Facebook seems to be upping the pro-conservative propaganda on him while silencing liberal voices. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, the Center For Disease Control has put in an alarming study about how dangerous bacteria-resistant superbugs have become, and we suspect this is how the zombie apocalypse is beginning. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", Kanye is taking his Sunday Sermon on the road - to Joel Osteen's controversial mega house of worship Lakewood Church! Yes, you can buy a $250 hoodie in the most holiest of stadiums now! And in "Beating A Dead Horse" - what did the CEO of Uber say about the gruesome state sanctioned murder of Jamal Khashoogi and why is he apologizing for it? If you don't want to apologize, don't say it! And in our segment "NO!", the State Of North Dakota is launching an ad campaign aimed at putting the spotlight on the state's meth problem, but does anyone really want to be remembered as the face of meth addiction? NO! We also have a new "I Need A Drink" - did the Houston Astros cheat their way to a World Series victory in 2017 against the LA Dodgers? Yeah probably! And in our 2020 voters' guide, "Keeping Up With The Candidates", while many candidates are jumping ship, Michael Bloomberg has unexpectedly thrown his hat in the ring. WTF??? We will find out why exactly he is doing this, and that billionaires are not your friends.
Live Musical Guest: Alter Bridge

**Top 10 Takes A Week Off**

Best Of #12 - Thanksgiving Edition (11/26/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212735405

Best Of! From Idiots #7-12, Trump and Mitch McConnell ignore passing any sensible gun control laws while declaring war on e-cigarettes and vaping because, reasons. From Idiots #7-6, we learn that the Seth Rich conspiracy theory peddled by Fox News, Sean Hannity, and the right wing smear machine was a steaming load of BS. From Idiots #7-13, in a part of the country where there hasn't been a car since they were invented, Mike Pence drives an 8 SUV motorcade through it. From Idiots #7-18, Trump celebrates Halloween in the most Trump way possible by building a wall in the White House as an arts and crafts activity for children. From Idiots #7-11, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, takes a look at a controversial high school in Michigan that was designed with mass shootings in mind, because enacting sensible gun control is so much easier. From Idiots #7-16, in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor takes a look at some recent theories about the apocalypse while offering a few of his own! From Idiots #7-15, "Beating A Dead Horse" takes a look at China's insane attempt to censor international opinions about what's going on in Hong Kong by going after South Park and the NBA - both of which are popular in China. From Idiots #7-16, "This Fucking Guy" takes a look at the owner and CEO of Barstool Sports, Dave Portnoy, who was under fire for threatening his employees attempting to unionize. From Idiots #7-17, "People Are Dumb" takes a look at what might be the most insane Florida Man story in the history of Florida Man stories! And what was supposed to air in the cancelled Idiots #7-2, Pt. 2 of our docuseries "What's Up With Texas" takes a visit to the Texas border and the city of Laredo - a town that literally shares roads with Mexico - to find out what they think of Trump's insane border wall.
Musical Guest: Sturgill Simpson

Edition #7-21: He's The Bad Guy, Duh Edition (12/4/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212751970

Live from Stanford University! In what might be one of the most stunningly evil moves of the Trump administration yet, they setup a fake university in Michigan with the sole intent to round up immigrant students and deporting them - but they're going a step further and blaming this on Obama, because reasons. Trump goes to Miami to deliver another rah rah MAGA hate rally and spends an unusual and absurdly creepy amount of time talking about how good he looks, channeling his inner Ron Burgundy. Elsewhere, giving a speech in Baltimore - a city that Trump has repeatedly attacked, Melania is booed during her #BeBest campaign on anti-bullying. Meanwhile, in what may be a rock bottom move, Kid Rock is kicked out of his own bar after delivering an expletive filled tirade on Oprah. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, more and more stores are forgoing the traditional Black Friday rush and opening earlier and earlier. So what's it like working on Thanksgiving? We will go behind the scenes and find out! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to dissect the insane interview from ousted Energy Secretary Rick Perry in which he talks about the president being God's Chosen One, and well, he's got some thoughts. In "Beating A Dead Horse" - actor Sascha Cohen ("Borat", "Talladega Nights", "The Dictator" ) says that if Facebook and Twitter had been around during World War II, they would have allowed pro-holocaust propaganda to be spread and well, have you seen it lately? He's not wrong. And in a new edition of "NO!", we dissect the insane interview with former pizza proprietor John Schnatter of Papa John's, and it's quite insane. We also have a new People Are Dumb because of course they are! And in our 2020 voters' guide, "Keeping Up With The Candidates", is Indiana's Pete Buttigieg a racist? We are going to dissect this claim after an insane op ed appeared in the Washington Post.
Live Musical Guest: The Pixies

Edition #7-22: Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Whatever Edition (12/11/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212772213

Live from USC! It's official: The impeachment of Donald J. Trump is no longer a hoax like Trump says it is, but it is officially a reality as Nancy Pelosi drops the big one and begins drafting impeachment articles against Trump. Not surprisingly, Louis Gohmert makes a complete ass of himself during the hearings and says what might be one of the stupidest things that a GOP congressman has ever said. We check in with our friends across the pond in Brexit to find out how things are going, and well, it's still a dumpster fire in the truest definition. Meanwhile, it's war as the husband of Trump's press secretary Kellyanne Conway goes on a social media tirade with her husband George Conway, and we're going to need a lot of popcorn for this one. Plus we're going to introduce you to a Russian hacker group known as "Evil Corporation" because it couldn't be any more obvious what they are doing. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, was your car hit by the massive Tataka Airbag Recall? We will dig past the headlines to find out if your ride is affected or not! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", as the impeachment trial against the Dark One goes full steam ahead, the right is using the power of prayer to stop it, and our resident pastor, well, he's not exactly on board with this, as you might have guessed. In a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - calm down internet. It's OK if Billie Eilish doesn't know who Eddie Van Halen is, she's 17! Give her a break! There's plenty of dead references you and your kids probably won't get. And New York City's 3rd least favorite convention descends on the city and leaves a trail of destruction and half-empty booze bottles behind, so we're going to ask "SantaCon: How Is This Still A Thing?". And speaking of Santa, in "I Need A Drink" if you're tired of the holiday season and advertising blitz, pull up a chair and grab some egg nog because we've got a holiday for you! And finally in our 2020 voters' guide Keeping Up With The Candidates, we must say goodbye to the Kamala Harris campaign, as the campaign has ceased operations. But we must also move on.
Live Musical Guest: The Hu

Edition #7-23: 2019 Year In Review Edition (12/18/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212795573

Live from UCLA! Season Finale! It's our 3rd annual year in review where we cram an entire year's worth of idiocy into 6 short entries! In the first two months of the year - January and February - we saw Donald Trump champion himself as the winner of some bizarre Game Of Thrones scenario that nobody was playing, while the BCS National Champions were greeted at the White House with a greasy fast food buffet. March and April was full of scandals where we saw the Jussie Smollet hoax play out in full, Patriots owner Robert Kraft got busted in a sex sting operation, and another piece of the treason puzzle was solved when Paul Manafort was found guilty of committing 16 crimes! May and June saw the conservatives' war on social media outlets come to fruition when Mark Zuckerberg testifies in front of the House, Donald Trump's ass is broke, and Alabama signs one of the harshest anti-abortion laws in the entire country! July and August we say goodbye to the 24/7 lifestyle brand known as NRATV, Trump hilariously bumbles through American history, Rand Paul blocks the 9/11 First Responders Bill, and Jeffrey Epstein got arrested and subsequently "suicided", prompting the conspiracy theories to flow wildly! September and October included such idiocy as Boston's Straight Pride Parade, Trump's unplanned war on vaping, Mike Pence driving through Mackinac Island, and how far meme creation can go when a scene from Kingsmen gets edited to show Trump vaporizing his enemies. November and December saw the impeachment trial go full swing, while the results of another Blue Wave Election sweep out more of the conservative tide. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, takes a look at what it's really like to stay at Trump's Doral Resort, and you might want to ask Hotels.com for a refund if you stay there. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor looks back on the year that was in religious insanity and looks to the year ahead which is going to be even worse! We also have a new People Are Dumb which recaps some of the stupidest of the stupid of 2019! And our final edition of "Keeping Up With The Candidates" for 2019 is going to take a look at recent campaign developments and what we can expect going into the new year!
Live Musical Guest: Lana Del Rey