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Top 10 Idiots

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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
Number of posts: 207

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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-10: Wheel Of Corruption: Into The Spiderverse Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-10: Wheel Of Corruption: Into The Spiderverse Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Hey websites, please ask me to stop reviewing your updated privacy policy, because we both know that ain't happening. We are back everybody! And hey it’s time for Stupidest State, but I didn’t make that obvious or anything! So let’s talk about Captain Marvel for a minute. How great was that movie? But what I really want to talk about is their tribute to the late, great Stan Lee. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you might want to skip over this part, because here be spoilers ahead. That was brilliant the way they edited the seemingly never ending Marvel Studios logo that appears before the movie to be all footage of the hundreds of Stan Lee cameos over the years. But the real awesome thing they dropped into the movie was the final Stan Lee cameo where he’s sitting on a bus reading something. But what is he reading? He’s reading the script for the 1996 Kevin Smith comedy Mallrats. Yes, he’s reading the script for the movie that is arguably credited with the first Stan Lee cameo! So does that mean that Jay & Silent Bob exist in the movies themselves??? Or do they exist as movies within the movies? That is definitely the most meta that the Marvel movies have been to date. But really when you do go see it, be sure to catch that as it’s a very cool moment in the MCU and the Kevin Smith universe. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into a subject that Americans love to hate – robodialers! And he beats the FCC at their own game!

Hey everyone, the Wheel Of Corruption is back!! Yay!!! And this time we’re doing something a bit different and celebrating one of my favorite movies of last year, and the winner for Best Animated Picture, Spiderman: Into The Spiderverse! Because there’s a lot of horrific sex crimes this week and it’s going to get real dark real fast.In the first spot this week is GOP Pedophiles (1) because Jeffrey Epstein’s arrest has opened up a massive can of worms involving a super secret pedophile ring in Florida that shouldn’t have been opened. It’s Qanon come to life! Taking the 2nd slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) and he took a disaster surveying trip to Alabama, and well, it was quite the disaster itself. For the third slot this week, is also Donald Trump (3). And if you saw the news this week, he referred to Apple CEO Tim Cook as “Tim Apple” and his explanation for it is truly astounding. In the fourth slot this week we have to talk about two different documentaries – Leaving Neverland and Surviving R. Kelly, and whew, there’s a lot to unpack from both of them. For the 5th slot this week is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5), and this week we’re going to talk about getting scammed on Go Fund Me, and why you should take precaution before jumping in after a couple is going to jail after pulling off an epic homeless scam that will make things that much worse for those less fortunate. In the number 6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and the unholy Dark One is signing his name on the holy book, is that OK? Well, our resident pastor will examine both sides of the issue and allow you to draw your own conclusions! In the number 7 slot this week, we have a brand new “Beating A Dead Horse” – can Trump’s favorite stripper Stormy Daniels pull off a live standup comedy act? We will beat it (**DING**) to the ground to find out! Taking the 8th slot this week is a new “How Is This Still A Thing” and we are going to find out why Jared Kushner’s security clearance (8) is still a thing! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is “I Need A Drink” and in light of the marriage proposal to Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez, we got to talk about the reigning king of jealous boyfriends, Jose Canseco, because, whew, he crazy. Finally this week it's the most wonderful time of the year! Stupidest State 2019 is finally here and we’re live in Phoenix for the Round 1 Week 1 (10) kick off which puts Kentucky vs Maine in the Batshit Conference, while tournament newcomers Idaho and Oregon bring their big guns to the dance - both literally and figuratively! Plus we have some live music from a great band from Long Beach – Rival Sons are here! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Greedy Old Perverts
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Election Theft
- Buy A Vowel
- Sex
- Clip Without Context
- Greed
- Spying
- Spiderman
- Food
- Elections
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Donald Trump
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Harry Potter
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Donald Trump
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s do this thing! Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on… clip without context!

Funny because I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! Spin it again! Sex. Yeah so I don’t know if you’ve been following the Chinese Madam story out of Miami but it’s certifiably insane and quite possibly the most hypocritical thing that the GOP has ever done since getting Bill Clinton impeached for a sex crime. Well, it seems that the tables have turned and now the GOP is the one in the hot seat. Take that statement where you want. It started when Robert Kraft got busted for soliciting prostitutes while in Miami (see: Idiots #6-8 ). But now it’s spiraled out of control. Here’s what is happening so far.

Famed attorney Alan Dershowitz was accused of involvement in billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged sex-trafficking ring by an attorney for one of Epstein’s victims, who claimed in federal court on Wednesday that the release of sealed documents will prove it.

Paul Cassell, who represents Virginia Roberts Giuffre, told the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit that the testimony of other witnesses will show Dershowitz’s involvement in the alleged trafficking of “his close friend Jeffrey Epstein.”

“When all the records come out it will show that Epstein and [Epstein’s alleged madam Ghislaine] Maxwell were trafficking girls to the benefit of his friends, including Mr. Dershowitz,” Cassell said in oral arguments for a case filed by the Miami Herald to unseal a collection of court documents relating to Giuffre’s now settled lawsuit against Maxwell.

Yes holy shit indeed! So three huge GOP celebrities – Jeffrey Epstein, Alan Dershowitz, and Robert Guiffre, are all busted and implicated in this thing. And hey wait a minute! They all have ties to the Trump administration! Holy shit, it’s the Qanon theory come to life! Maybe they are running a sex ring out of the basement of a DC pizza parlor! And guess what? It goes all the way to Trump himself!

Seated at a round table littered with party favors and the paper-cutout footballs that have become tradition at his annual Super Bowl Watch Party, President Donald Trump cheered the New England Patriots and his longtime friend, team owner Robert Kraft, to victory over the Los Angeles Rams on Feb. 3.

Sometime during the party at Trump’s West Palm Beach country club, the president turned in his chair to look over his right shoulder, smiling for a photo with two women at a table behind him.

The woman who snapped the blurry Super Bowl selfie with the president was Li Yang, 45, a self-made entrepreneur from China who started a chain of Asian day spas in South Florida. Over the years, these establishments — many of which operate under the name Tokyo Day Spas — have gained a reputation for offering sexual services.

Nineteen days after Trump and Yang posed together while rooting for the Patriots, authorities would charge Kraft with soliciting prostitution at a spa in Jupiter that Yang had founded more than a decade earlier.

Yeah so while BFF 4 life Kraft was busy winning the Super Bowl, Trump was taking a selfie with the same Miami Madam that he would later get busted for! No wonder members of the Patriots don’t want to go to the White House. Especially knowing what kind of food they’ll be served! So what’s the connection to Trump you might ask? Well, they’re only selling trade secrets to international executives.

After revelations earlier on Saturday that Li “Cindy” Yang, the founder of a Florida “massage” spa chain now linked to an alleged sex trafficking operation, sold access to Donald Trump for Chinese businessmen, as The Inquisitr reported, one prominent expert on national security warned that the Yang-Trump connection poses a “massive blackmail risk.”

“It is a textbook story of how foreign actors gain leverage over senior officials,” wrote Carnegie Endowment scholar David Rothkopf in The Daily Beast.

The alleged sex-trafficking scandal first gained national attention in late February, when New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft was charged with soliciting an act of prostitution from an employee of a “spa” in Jupiter, Florida, as The Inquisitr reported. Kraft was one of 25 men charged with paying for sex at the spa. He has pleaded not guilty to the charge.

Yang, 45, no longer owns the spa and has not been charged in the sex trafficking case. But her connection to the spa chain that was allegedly operating as a front for sex trafficking, together with her political influence-peddling of Chinese business with Trump and other top Republicans, poses a significant national security threat, according to Rothkopf and other experts.

So if you want to know how deep this goes (*phrasing*), Trump might be accused of laundering secrets to Chinese executives at his Mar-A-Shithole resort. Yes, Trump is laundering secrets through a Chinese madam. How is this not bigger news? Again, phrasing. I think the moral of this story is don’t trust anyone with the last name Gong, because it will end badly for you.

The latest Trump political donor to draw controversy is Li Yang, a 45-year-old Florida entrepreneur from China who founded a chain of spas and massage parlors that included the one where New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft was recently busted for soliciting prostitution. She made the news this week when the Miami Herald reported that last month she had attended a Super Bowl viewing party at Donald Trump’s West Palm Beach golf club and had snapped a selfie with the president during the event. Though Yang no longer owns the spa Kraft allegedly visited, the newspaper noted that other massage parlors her family runs have “gained a reputation for offering sexual services.” (She told the newspaper she has never violated the law.) Beyond this sordid tale, there is another angle to the strange story of Yang: She runs an investment business that has offered to sell Chinese clients access to Trump and his family. And a website for the business—which includes numerous photos of Yang and her purported clients hobnobbing at Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s private club in Palm Beach—suggests she had some success in doing so.

Yang, who goes by Cindy, and her husband, Zubin Gong, started GY US Investments LLC in 2017. The company describes itself on its website, which is mostly in Chinese, as an “international business consulting firm that provides public relations services to assist businesses in America to establish and expand their brand image in the modern Chinese marketplace.” But the firm notes that its services also address clients looking to make high-level connections in the United States. On a page displaying a photo of Mar-a-Lago, Yang’s company says its “activities for clients” have included providing them “the opportunity to interact with the president, the [American] Minister of Commerce and other political figures.” The company boasts it has “arranged taking photos with the President” and suggests it can set up a “White House and Capitol Hill Dinner.” (The same day the Herald story about Yang broke, the website stopped functioning.)

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… 10,000. Cool, I win 10,000 of something! I still don’t know 10,000 of what though. It could be anything we’re not sure. Let’s spin it again! Donald Trump. So Trump is currently in some very deep shit right now, so what’s a guy to do to get some much needed publicity! I know! Let’s go to a disaster area and then take some photos with the people! That should get me in the news! Well like most things Trump does, it ended as poorly thought out as it began. Because Trump loves people who kiss his ass, and hates people who don’t. In fact – he ordered FEMA to give Alabama the “A+ treatment”.

President Donald Trump said he’s ordered the Federal Emergency Management Agency to give Alabama the “A Plus treatment” following a devastating tornado.

Tornadoes touched down in the southern United States on Sunday, the worst ripping through rural Alabama. The storms left at least 23 people dead, including three children, and destroyed more than 1,000 homes, The New York Times reports.

Sheriff Jay Jones of Lee County, Alabama described the destruction as “catastrophic” and said he expected the death toll to rise as search and rescue teams continue their efforts.

Trump tweeted on Monday morning that FEMA would provide “the A Plus treatment to the Great State of Alabama and the wonderful people who have been so devastated by the Tornadoes.”

That’s pretty much what we got here in California. As if he couldn’t be any more batshit crazy and self-centered offering special favors to states that voted for him is a new low. And it gets even lower too – wait until you see what our resident pastor has to talk about when we get to “Holy Shit” this week! So how much worse can it possibly get? Well… there might be even worse weather on the way and Trump probably visited at the wrong time.

Alabamians digging through the rubble of tornado devastation welcomed Friday's visit from President Donald Trump but braced for the threat of more severe weather in the next two days.

However, the danger is not as great as it was last weekend in eastern Alabama, CNN meteorologist Monica Garrett said.

Tornadoes devastated Lee County in eastern Alabama then, killing at least 23 people and injuring dozens. Ten twisters struck the state and about 37 hammered the Southeast on Sunday.

"A tornado is possible," Garrett said about this weekend. "But the bull's-eye is more to the west."
CNN meteorologist Dave Hennen said severe weather will stretch from northern Texas into eastern Oklahoma and western Arkansas from Friday afternoon till evening. The main threat will be damaging winds and an isolated tornado.

But my favorite thing about this trip was seeing #FakeMelania trending on Twitter through the whole weekend and that’s something that’s not easy to do! So what is the #FakeMelania conspiracy? Well it alleges that Trump and Melania are not getting along, which isn’t that far of a stretch, and he replaced her with someone that really, really looks like her. Again, not much of a stretch.

The Melania Trump “body double” made her latest appearance on Friday — at least according to Twitter users who revisited one of social media’s enduringly popular conspiracy theories when they saw photos of Mrs. Trump with her husband in Alabama, as Donald Trump visited the region where a series of deadly tornado strikes claimed the lives of 23 people earlier this week, as CNN reported.

The Melania “body double” conspiracy theory dates back to at least October of 2017, when photos circulated on Twitter that appeared to show the 48-year-old, Slovenia-born former fashion model appearing somewhat different in side-by-side photographs.

Conspiracy theories about Melania Trump’s true whereabouts got a boost in May of last year, when Melania Trump, for reasons that were never fully explained, disappeared from public view for nearly three weeks, an extraordinarily long time for a first lady to go without a public appearance, according to The Guardian.

During that time, as The Inquisitr noted, the “location” listing on the official Melania Trump Twitter account switched from Washington, D.C., to “New York,” sparking unsubstantiated theories that the first lady had left her husband and moved out of the White House, returning to live in New York City.

Yes that’s right – it’s fake, mon. But Trump probably doesn’t know that, or care to know that. What does he care about? Trump cares about playing favorites. It’s like a child with multiple siblings wondering which one the parent thinks is the favorite. Yes it’s your worst nightmare come to life people, and Trump is playing us with this one! He loves Alabama, but he hates California.

President Donald Trump is being accused of playing favorites after he tweeted Monday morning that he directed FEMA to give Alabama the “A Plus” treatment for disaster relief while being slow to respond to the hurricane that hit Puerto Rico and threatening to withhold funds for the California wildfires.

Critics of the president suggested Trump was playing politics with disaster relief, noting that Alabama is a reliably Republican state while California is solidly blue and Puerto Rico is majority Democratic although the island does not have federal voting rights.

At least 23 people were killed in Sunday’s tornadoes in Lee County with search efforts continuing Monday.

Trump’s critics said his tweet suggested that areas of the country that do not support him, such as California and Puerto Rico, did not get A-plus treatment.

When Puerto Rico was battered by Hurricane Maria in 2017, a Category 5 storm that killed at least 2,975 people, the Trump administration was slammed for what was viewed as a slow response to help the island. The president also got in a feud with the mayor of San Juan, whom he blamed for the depth of the disaster:

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Oh and hey it’s one of our famous clips without context!

No! you don’t call someone you don’t like a pedophile just because you don’t like them! Just give the middle finger like a reasonable person and move on! Spin it again! Donald Trump. Before we get into this story, I have to play the clip first because it’s definitely Trump at his most exquisite.

Yeah so that happened. I couldn’t love this story more. Every day Trump is becoming more like Kevin from the Office. It’s just a matter of time before he spills a giant vat of chili all over the White House carpets. So in a page literally from Kevin Malone, he attempts to “save time” by using one less word! Gee, me think, why waste time saying many words when few do trick? Well this is one of those things where real life is stranger than fiction. Because things like this happen.

President Donald Trump called Apple CEO Tim Cook "Tim Apple" during a meeting at the White House on Wednesday.

Trump flubbed the head of Apple's name during the inaugural meeting of the American Workforce Policy Advisory Board to discuss the importance of technology in education. The meeting was held in the State Dining Room of the White House.

"We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple," Trump said as he sat next to Cook who had a paper name tag in front of him that said "Tim Cook."

It's not the first time Trump got a CEO's name wrong.

Last March, he called Lockheed Martin's CEO Marillyn Hewson "Marillyn Lockheed."

Really this is like that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode when Larry David referred to a woman in his phone as “Denise Handicapped”. Marilyn Lockheed? Tim Apple? I mean what’s next? Jeff Amazon? Bill Microsoft? Bill Clinton Foundation? I could do this all day! And here’s my favorite part. You know how much time Trump saved by doing that? He saved exactly 0.27 seconds. He’s got places to go and golf balls to hit, people!!!

President Donald Trump says he didn’t slip up when he referred to Apple CEO Tim Cook as “Tim Apple” at a White House meeting.

Trump tweeted Monday: “I quickly referred to Tim + Apple as Tim/Apple as an easy way to save time & words. The Fake News was disparagingly all over this, & it became yet another bad Trump story!”

Trump made the comment last week. After the session, Cook altered his Twitter profile, replacing his last name with the Apple logo.

At a dinner for Republican National Committee donors at his Florida club Friday, Trump complained that his “Tim Apple” flub was “fake news,” said a person who heard them and spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss Trump’s remarks. Trump’s complaint was first reported by Axios.

And here’s the best part – Trump not only said that he lied, he doubled down! Trump’s lies are not just normal lies. They’re like looking at a Photoshop creation – they’re heavily layered, each layer has its’ own character, and it takes a lot of processing time and unpacking to get the full feel for what he’s trying to achieve.

Former Trump employees have warned that as objectionable as the president may sound in public, he’s even worse behind closed doors. Such was the case last Friday when Trump spoke to Republican National Committee donors at Mar-a-Lago. According to Axios, organizers were so concerned with Trump’s private comments leaking that they made attendees seal their cell phones in magnetized pouches. Though the measure may have prevented the release of audio recordings of the president’s speech, a few donors gave Axios a run-down of proceedings. They were as strange as one might expect and, yes, race was involved.

During what one donor described as a “bizarre tangent” about his seclusion in the White House over the holidays, Trump allegedly joked that Secret Service agents were wearing blackface. The donor said that Trump described looking out the curtain of the White House and seeing the agents “in the trees, on the lawn,” and that they were wearing night-vision goggles. “They’re in blackface,” Trump said, adding that “maybe they have to take them away,” because of it. The two sources who relayed the account to Axios said they assumed Trump was referencing the controversy surrounding Democratic Virginia governor Ralph Northam, who last month admitted he wore blackface in the ’80s and which everyone seems to have forgotten about.

It didn’t end there. Responding to recent comments from Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) that the GOP has been using to claim she’s anti-Semitic, Trump reportedly went ahead and slapped the label on the entire party. “The Democrats hate Jewish people,” he reportedly said bluntly before going on about how much he’s done for Israel since taking office. This of course is not true. After Trump said last week that the Democratic party has become “anti-Jewish,” the Washington Post dropped some statistics proving the claim has no bearing in reality. Not only are 32 of the 34 Jewish Americans in Congress Democrats, over 70 percent of Jewish Americans voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, and a poll released in October 2018 found that 74 percent of Jewish-American voters planned to vote for Democratic candidates in the midterms.

I mean ugh… it’s damn near impossible to keep track of his lies anymore. One minute he says one thing, the next minute he doesn’t admit it and tries to… yeah thanks monitor guy! That’s exactly what it’s like – for those of you viewing at home there’s footage of that Always Sunny conspiracy theory clip. But yeah the next time Trump says anything, expect him to support it… or deny it, whatever. Fuck it.

Last Wednesday, President Trump closed out a meeting of the American Workforce Policy Advisory Board by personally thanking “Tim Apple,” better known as Apple CEO Tim Cook. Video of the hilarious and now well-publicized moment is below.

This is far from the worst of the frequently confused president’s gaffes, and it’s something that would have fallen out of the news cycle by now if Trump had simply let the issue go. But Trump is, of course, unable move on and has mentioned the incident publicly at least twice since.

Axios reported this weekend that Trump told a group of donors at Mar-a-Lago on Friday that he actually said “Tim Cook, Apple” really fast, but he said the “Cook” part too softly and chalked the resulting video up to “fake news.” Two donors at the event told Axios that they were baffled as to why Trump was even bringing it up because, as one of them put it, “it doesn’t even matter!”

And on Monday morning, Trump took to Twitter to argue that he called Tim Cook “Tim Apple” on purpose as “an easy way to save time & words.” He then admonished the “Fake News” for putting out “another bad Trump story.”

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[font size="8"]Leaving Neverland & R. Kelly
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin it to win it! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! What? I’m bankrupt? What did I wager? All 10,000? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Spin it again. And it lands on Morally Bankrupt. Which leads me to my next topic – if it’s in the news, we got to talk about it. And there’s a pair of documentary movies that could potentially take down two of the world’s biggest music stars Michael Jackson and R. Kelly, for Leaving Neverland, and Surviving R. Kelly, respectively. Yeah it’s ugly and it will only get uglier especially when Michael Jackson is the number one earner on Forbes Magazine’s annual list of the Top Earning Dead Celebrities. And for the record we won’t make fun of the victims here. But we can make fun of the situation right? Well how bad is it? Michael Jackson is effectively getting cancelled.

As the release of a new documentary detailing abuse accusations against the singer Michael Jackson has prompted debate about his legacy, the public response to its contents is also leading radio stations across the globe to stop playing his music.

A radio network in Quebec pulled Jackson’s music from its nearly two dozen stations, according to The Canadian Press. In Britain, Variety reported that the BBC was forced to deny imposing such a ban after it was reported that the singer’s music had been “quietly dropped” from one of its stations.

And the backlash has led to an almost complete removal of the singer’s music from the airwaves in New Zealand, after the two largest radio networks — which own most of the country’s commercial stations — said Wednesday that they would no longer play Jackson’s songs.

In the New Zealand and Canadian cases, radio networks cited a change in public opinion about Jackson that was tied to the documentary “Leaving Neverland,” a two-part mini-series focusing on the accusations of two men who say Jackson abused them as children, as the reason for the ban. The program is scheduled for broadcast in New Zealand on Sunday and Monday.

Yeah so Michael Jackson, even though the 10th anniversary of his death is coming up, hasn’t exactly had what one would call the best week. And of course you know Trump, who always takes the unpopular opinion on everything, is probably blasting Thriller and Smooth Criminal right now, because, fuck it, why not? I mean even the Simpsons pulled their famous Michael Jackson episode!

An episode of The Simpsons featuring Michael Jackson’s voice has been pulled by its producers after a powerful documentary accused the star of sexually abusing two men when they were children.

The HBO documentary Leaving Neverland, which was shown on Channel 4 this week, featured James Safechuck and Wade Robson who claimed they were sexually abused by Jackson.

The singer featured in the Stark Raving Dad Simpsons episode which aired in 1991, but his involvement was only confirmed years later. Jackson voiced Leon Kompowsky, who meets Homer in a psychiatric hospital, where he claims to be the pop star and does the moonwalk.


And even Drake, who had a collaboration with Michael Jackson on one of his albums, has since pulled the song from his setlist. I mean the hits just keep coming! So you might be asking well what’s going to happen to Michael Jackson’s estate? Well, there’s a lot to unpack from this documentary and we will bring updates as it comes along.

HBO’s blockbuster Michael Jackson documentary “Leaving Neverland,” in which two men, Wade Robson and James Safechuck, accuse the late singer of abusing them sexually when they were boys, has caused much speculation about what the allegations will mean for Jackson’s legacy — and the earning power of his estate.

The estate and Jackson’s family have fiercely criticized the accusers and the documentary — the estate filed a $100 million lawsuit against HBO — and even scheduled two rare Jackson concert films directly against the premiere airtimes of the two-part “Leaving Neverland.” The estate claims HBO violated a non-disparagement agreement it struck with the singer in 1992. “‘Leaving Neverland’ isn’t a documentary, it is the kind of tabloid character assassination Michael Jackson endured in life, and now in death,” the estate said in a January statement.

In the wake of reactions to the documentary, many of them negative, could a bad look impact the recorded-music deal between the estate and Sony Music Entertainment, the longtime home of Jackson’s recorded-music and publishing catalogs? According to the Wall Street Journal, that agreement is worth $250 million for the rights to distribute the singer’s recordings over seven years.” (A source close to the situation confirmed the figure to Variety.)

Look, look… this was not an easy entry to write. I’m 100% pro first amendment. I’m not for book burning or censorship of any kind, but yeah really, I’m currently on the side of “fuck that guy”. Especially with all the other assholes like R. Kelly, what does that say about the future? Yeah I can understand Bill Cosby getting banned from everywhere, and now it looks like Michael Jackson and R. Kelly might be joining them. But really, fuck those guys.

Spotify and Apple Music have not taken action against Michael Jackson’s music catalog following the release of “Leaving Neverland,” a two-part HBO documentary that accuses the pop superstar of sexually abusing two young boys in the ’80s and ’90s. The move is a departure from the stance the two companies took against R. Kelly after the singer was hit with new accusations of sexual misconduct.

Representatives for the two leading streaming services haven’t responded to multiple requests for comment on whether Jackson’s music would be pulled from its featured playlists. Both Spotify and Apple Music removed R. Kelly’s music from its playlists last year.

Kelly was recently indicted on 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse involving four accusers — three of whom prosecutors said were underage — between 1998 and 2010.

“We don’t censor content because of an artist’s or creator’s behavior, but we want our editorial decisions — what we choose to program — to reflect our values,” a Spotify rep told TheWrap last year. “When an artist or creator does something that is especially harmful or hateful, it may affect the ways we work with or support that artist or creator.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: GoScamMe
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin it to win it! Oh….. 10,0000… oh hey it lands on our Spiderman theme!

Yeah so for this edition like I said we’re paying tribute to one of my favorite movies of the last year, Spiderman - Into The Spiderverse. And this won’t be the only time either. So let’s spin it again! Hey it’s time for Top 10 Investigates!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Go Fund Me is the world’s largest crowdfunding website. And while the intentions of Go Fund Me are good – that anyone can donate to anyone for anything, But when anyone can donate to anything, there’s bound to be some scammers and people who are abusive of the privilege. It’s a simple fact of life – if anyone can donate, it’s quite possible that you can get scammed. In fact one such story out of New Jersey that broke last November started out with good intentions, but very quickly went south. Let’s hear more.

A woman and a homeless man who fabricated a heartwarming story of compassion that drew more than $400,000 in donations on GoFundMe pleaded guilty to federal conspiracy charges on Wednesday.

Johnny Bobbitt, 36, pleaded guilty in federal court in Camden, N.J., to one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering, while Katelyn McClure, 28, pleaded guilty to a count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Sentencing for Ms. McClure is scheduled for June 19; she faces up to 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Mr. Bobbitt faces up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. His sentencing date has not been set.

The two also face state charges in New Jersey, as does Mark D’Amico, who was Ms. McClure’s boyfriend when the crimes were committed.

In 2017, the authorities say, the three wove an irresistible yarn. Posting to GoFundMe, a crowdfunding site, Ms. McClure and Mr. D’Amico said that she had run out of gas while driving home in the Philadelphia area, and that Mr. Bobbitt, a homeless veteran, had spent his last $20 to buy gasoline for her. The couple said they wanted to raise $10,000 to thank him and get him off the streets.

Yes, that did go south very fast. But it wasn’t just a mere scam it’s a conspiracy that unfolded that has multiple layers involved from all parties involved. So who is Johnny Bobbitt, the man at the center of the case? Well, you should never trust a guy named Johnny Bobbitt, first of all. But second, yeah they picked just about the shadiest guy possible to pull off the scam.

Johnny Bobbitt, the former homeless veteran who became the face of a GoFundMe scam that netted more than $400,000 from donors, admitted Friday to knowingly participating in the fraud and spending some of the donated funds on illegal drugs.

Bobbitt pleaded guilty to second-degree conspiracy to commit theft by deception before Superior Court Judge Christopher J. Garrenger on Friday and was formally entered into the county’s drug court, a diversion program reserved for nonviolent offenders who agree to enter into a rigorous supervision and substance abuse treatment in order to avoid criminal penalties.

He is scheduled to be sentenced next month to five years of special probation contingent upon him completing the program. If he fails to comply with the drug court conditions, he would face an alternative sentence of five years in state prison.

Bobbitt, who was ordered to remain in Burlington County Jail pending sentencing, told the judge he understood his plea agreement and was not coerced into entering the guilty plea.

Yes that is a good question. Well, it is bad and it can lead to repercussions for both you and Go Fund Me, as well as the people who you scammed out of money. Not to mention that it can make life difficult from here on out that much more difficult for anyone who dares to make a Go Fund Me request ever again. So what do actual experts say you can do to avoid getting scammed? Let’s ask them.

Customers, like Garrett, began coming forward this past December, when people started posting warnings not to use cards for purchases from the Pinkys Ice Cream truck in Iowa Park and Burkburnett because they had been charged multiple times for the same purchase.

"It took me about a month because I do not use my debit card much and I just kept putting some money into my account and I was negative $10 and I was really confused," Garrett said.

Garrett said she was actually one of the lucky ones because she was able to detect it early on and Wichita Falls Police Officer Brian Masterson said that is key to help solve these investigations.

"We can try and go out and get surveillance video and potentially get the people responsible for doing this, get them arrested and put into jail and hopefully stop other people from becoming victims," Officer Masterson said.

Actually this one is a definite scamola, Homer. But just like detecting deadly diseases, the key to beating scammers at their own game is early detection. And however, just like death, getting scammed is something that doesn’t happen until it happens. You won’t know it until it is over. But this begs the question – is everything on the internet a scam now? Why of course it is!

The internet: where you can meet new people, make new friends, learn new skills, and help new people! And also, get fleeced. The saga of a couple from New Jersey who raised over $400,000 to help a homeless man and then reportedly withheld the money from him has reached its bitter end, and it turns out everybody involved is a scammer. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning so you can fully enjoy the drama. Because there is a whole lot of it.

Back in 2017, Kate McClure and her boyfriend Mark D’Amico told a heartwarming story about a homeless man, Johnny Bobbitt, offering her his last $20 when she ran out of gas one night. Nice, right? Right. That’s what everybody thought when they read it on a GoFundMe campaign the couple started, promising to use the money to help Bobbitt secure housing and set up a trust in his name. Cue $402,000 in donations from people moved by Bobbitt’s kindness.

But then, in September, Bobbitt got a lawyer and started claiming he’d never received the money the couple raised. He did get some of it, about $75,000, which included a camper and a 1999 Ford Ranger. (Neither were registered in his name and Bobbitt lived in the camper on the couple’s property until they kicked him off in June.) Bobbitt said the pair spent the rest of the money on vacations and a new BMW. At this point, the cops raided the couple’s house and they, via their lawyer, said that the money was gone. GoFundMe donated $20,000 to Bobbitt to help cover legal expenses.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Something random in the news!

Jason Blundell and his two teenage kids, Shelby and Spencer, spent a snowy Saturday in Chadron, Nebraska, recreating their family's 1967 Ford Mustang GTA, according to the Scottsbluff Star-Herald. The Mustang stayed in the garage, of course, but its snow-replica was parked proudly out on the curb.

The "Snow Pony" took five hours to build and blew up from there, attracting admirers from across the world thanks to a family friend who added to the display. Nebraska State Patrol Sgt. Mick Downing, who attends the Blundells' church, filmed himself writing a fake tow notice for the obvious snow-car and posted it on the patrol's social media pages.

Downing, of course, never filed the paperwork to submit the notice, as it would have been legally parked if it were a real car.

I’m not really sure if you can fault the officer or you can fault the terrible parking job. Either way this one is a colossal WTF. Spin it again! oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit!

Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! In times of a natural disaster, we can always turn to the good LAWRD JAYSUS for a miracle or two. However, when the most unholy, ungodly man whose name I dare not speak in my church, claims he’s a man of GAWD, then there’s certain liberties he takes with the job that he’s given on any day! You know the supporters of the unholy Dark One, painted his predecessor as a “celebrity”, but they elected a guy who is synonymous with the term “celebrity”. In fact he’s so much of a celebrity that he thinks that his opinion is greater than that of GAWD himself!

U.S. President Donald J. Trump flew to Alabama to make a personal survey of last week’s Tornado damage. Trump upset a lot of people when he signed Bibles presented to him by tornado survivors. A 12-year-old boy initiated the presidential signing spree when he gave the president his Bible and requested him to sign the Christian holy book. According to media footage, even Melania Trump, the first lady, signed Bibles.

Trump’s Bible signing activity has divided religious leaders on whether such an action is appropriate. A few are offended, while others said President Trump might have gone about his signing activity differently. One of the few who supported the president in this issue is Hershael York, Dean of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary School located in Louisville, Kentucky. He pointed out that the president signed the Bible as he was asked. He then said although the United States does not have a national faith, Americans have faith in their nation, and thus it is not surprising that people have asked politicians to sign their Bibles. Reverend Donnie Anderson is one of the many clergy members offended by Trump’s signing spree. The executive minister of Rhode Island State Council of Churches said she was deeply offended by the manner the president scribbled his signature. He not only autographed Bibles but also many other products like hats. He also posed for many photographs. As per Rev. Anderson, Trump made a calculated political move to solidify his GOP voting base. https://www.worldreligionnews.com/?p=60013

Now look, sir… just because the videos that I show may mention his name, I will personally not say his name in my church, and it is implied that my parishioners don’t either! And if you don’t like my policy, the door is THAT way! That is the way it is in the Holy Church Of The Top 10! Now, back on track. Here’s the thing – was he the first one to do it? Absolutely not! But is he the most offensive person ever to sign one? Absolutely!

Peter Manseau, the Smithsonian’s curator of religion, tells The Washington Post that other presidents have signed Bibles, too. Specifically, says Manseau, Barack Obama signed one or more Bibles during his time in office, as did George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan. Manseau did not, however, say when or where those Bible signings took place.

“From what I can tell the event [Friday] wasn’t outside the norm,” Manseau said.

Also known to have signed a Bible in his career is Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.

And though at least one evangelical was appalled by the signing of Bibles, it seems that others in the evangelical community are less put off by signing Bibles. Tim Tebow has been known to sign them, for example, and late evangelist Billy Graham signed a Bible in 2005 for a very special friend of his: that friend was Donald Trump.

Did the Bibles burst into flames afterward? But this brings up a very interesting gray area. Now… is it OK for the Dark One to sign the Good Book? Well this not only divided the people who were there, it’s spawned a national debate among the holiest and godliest among us, and the people who are on the other side. So what do actual pastors have to think about this? Well let’s ask them!

- When President Trump signed Bibles in an Alabama region devastated by tornadoes, he was giving comfort to survivors by participating in a time-honored Southern tradition, some observers say. Others claim signing Scripture was inappropriate.

In the South, signatures in a person's Bible "bring back great memories of relationships and friendships and moments in our life," said Rusty Sowell, pastor of Providence Baptist Church in Opelika, Ala., where Trump signed tornado victims' Bibles March 8.

Trump and First Lady Melania Trump visited Providence in the aftermath of an EF-4 tornado that killed 23 people. The church has been used as a staging area for disaster response. While gathering at Providence with survivors, first responders and volunteers, Trump and the first lady signed memorabilia including Bibles for those who asked, Sowell told Baptist Press.

The Bible signing provoked media reports over the weekend, with some critics voicing strong opposition to Trump's actions.

Sowell said he "didn't think anything about it" when Trump began signing Bibles. The pastor noted signatures in his own Bible of friends and other significant people dating back to the mid-1970s.

Even the good LAWRD is speechless on this one! By the way give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? Can I get an amen??? Well, I’ve been all over this great land of ours and I certainly don’t remember that being a tradition from any of the places I’ve ever been! That’s right, sir! But here’s why people don’t think that the Dark One should sign the Good Book!

President Donald Trump is not a liar. A liar is someone who occasionally tells mistruths. President Trump is a broken fire hose of lies. He’s a broken slot machine of lies. He’s a lie conveyor belt.

On Monday, the president lied again, this time in tweet-form, claiming that America was “starting to make a turn back” to a time when Bible study was big in public schools.

The Washington Post’s Mark Chancy noted, there was no such time in American history.

But besides that, Trump, who has routinely portrayed himself as a man of God, had to deal with a competing tweet from an actual man of God.

There you have it, a guy who claims to be the holiest among us, has never set foot in our holiest of institutions! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Oh and hey it’s a clip without context!

Holy shit! That’s crazy! I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! Spin it again! Oh and hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse:

The comedy world was completely divided this week as Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to try her hand at stand up comedy. Yes, *THAT* Stormy Daniels. Professional stripper and the woman who some might argue is Donald Trump’s worst nightmare. And she’s also single-handedly responsible for ruining our childhoods more than any amount of Ghostbusters remakes ever could. So, Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to fill the late spot at the Chuckle Hut and actual comedians are split down the middle as to who really gets to fill that spot. Hey, wait a minute! That’s also what we do here! So does that mean I don’t get to play to an audience either? Oh wait, we play the coveted Wednesday at 2:00 PM slot when there’s no possible chance of landing an audience. So let’s expand on this further, shall we?

Stormy Daniels is taking a spin at being a stand-up comedian.

The adult-film star — who’s been locked in an ongoing legal battle with President Trump and his former lawyer Michael Cohen — will perform at a comedy club in Houston later this month, the Joke Joint Comedy Club’s co-owner, Ken Reed, told KTRK-TV this week.

Daniels is suing Trump and Cohen to void a nondisclosure agreement about an affair she says she had with Trump in 2006. The payment over that agreement is one of the reasons Cohen was last year sentenced to three years in jail for bank fraud and campaign finance violations.

"I'm not going to judge her on her politics, or her day job, or anything else,” Reed said of Daniels’s upcoming sets. “She has an audience. She has a fanbase that want to see her. I think it's going to be a good show.”

The head of the comedy club said the idea for Daniels to deliver some one-liners came from her management team.

Yeah so Stormy is heading to the stage everybody! Woooooooooooo!!!!! And what city will be lucky enough to witness this train wreck? Houston, Texas! And boy won’t they be so receptive there? Because Houston is prime MAGA country and I’m sure they won’t have any of it. But hey you never know what kind of audience you’re going to get!

Adult film star-turned-comedienne Stormy Daniels is taking her act on the road and starting her comedy tour in Houston.

Co-owner of the Joke Joint Comedy Club in southeast Houston, Ken Reed, says her management team reached out to him to schedule the show. He says he's gotten mixed opinions about her show coming to his club.

"I'd go see it. Check it out. See what it's about. I always like to laugh," said Aaron Holmes, a potential patron to the Stormy Daniels shows.

Meanwhile, Michael Nichols differs, saying, "Personally, not my preference, but, you know, to each his own."

Yes true, this is doo doo, or as some might put it, horseshit. So here’s where we get into the meat of this discussion. So actual stand up comedians aren’t having any of this. But as we’ve learned, Stormy is not the first celebrity to try their hand at stand-up comedy. Yeah we get it that comedy is not an easy profession to get into – it takes a lot of hard work to sell out the Chuckle Hut or the Joke Joint. So why so serious?

Stormy Daniels made waves after announcing a headlining gig at Joke Joint Comedy Showcase in Houston. Comedians nationwide took offense to Daniels, who likely has never done a comedy open mic in her life, headlining a comedy club on name recognition alone.

But here’s the rub: porn stars have been headlining comedy shows for years. Bree Olson made a web series, Bree Does Comedy, about an adult film star that becomes a stand-up. Sovereign Syre made a name for herself as a dual-action comedian and porn star. Ron Jeremy does a surprising number of club sets.

The prevalence of porn stars getting up onstage makes the backlash to Stormy Daniels doing stand-up only more confusing because this isn’t a new phenomenon.

Earlier this week, Laurie Kilmartin tweeted “Doing standup is not a reward for being famous. Please leave the weekend gigs for actual female comics,” in response to Daniel’s Tour Manager, Dwayne Crawford, announcing her first stand-up show in Texas. While Kilmartin says to “leave the weekends” for actual comics, the show is an independently-produced one-nighter on a Wednesday.

Well, we would actually prefer not to do it that way. And even more and more actual comedians are speaking out against this idea. So is it a good move or a bad move? You be the judge. Of course we could and should afford a trip to Houston to witness the potential train wreck of a show, but yeah we’ll just save money and wait for the highlights to come out on Twitter! So what do actual comedians think of this move?

If you blinked and missed it, Stormy Daniels is starting her career in stand-up comedy. For the entertainers that have worked for years honing their craft, you can imagine that they would be pretty upset that Stormy gets a pass in the business just because she's got some stories to tell about Donald Trump. The former adult star will probably sell out her shows but according to Chris D'Elia, she shouldn't be referring to herself as a comedian.

When TMZ cameras caught up with the actor, he was asked about his thoughts on the move from porn to comedy. He actually gave a pretty insightful answer too. "I'm not a porn star if I just make a video of me fucking someone... I just made a video. She's not a comedian!" He goes on to say that people often look at stand-up as a second choice for when they've failed in their first career. Referring to the move as a cash grab, D'Elia notes that some of his peers are pissed about Stormy waltzing into the business so casually.

Instead of calling it a comedy tour, Chris suggests she change the name to a "public speaking" display. Let us know your thoughts on this? Does Stormy Daniels belong on the stage as a comedian?

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[font size="8"]Jared Kushner
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… wow, two clips without context in a row! What are the odds?

Yeah it’s always those damn commies isn’t it??? I swear, I can’t even anymore. Spin it again! It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Jared Kushner’s security clearance. How is this still a thing? Yes, Jared Kushner is the man who is married to Donald Trump’s DHLF Ivanka. Don’t ask us what that abbreviation means, because you don’t want to know. In case you’re wondering how difficult it is to actually obtain a security clearance to go inside the White House, it’s pretty close to damn near impossible. And the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, just hands them out like he’s handing out party favors. Kiss Trump’s ass enough or marry into his family? You get a security clearance! And why does he still have this most coveted of all clearances? Well its’ a mystery.

President Donald Trump pressured his staff to give daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner security clearance, despite objections from senior staffers, according to a report published Tuesday.

According to the report, Trump pressured then-chief of staff John Kelly and White House counsel Don McGahn to grant the clearances so that it wouldn‘t look like the president was inappropriately influencing the process, several sources told CNN. Both McGahn and Kelly refused, and Trump ultimately granted the security clearances himself, the sources said.

Last week, reported Trump demanded Kelly grant Kushner a top security clearance last year, despite the chief of staff laying out major concerns in an internal memo.

The reports contradict statements made by both Trump and Ivanka, who have denied there was any inappropriate influence in granting the security clearances.

In January, the president told the he played no role in ordering White House officials to grant Kushner top-secret clearance.

So if you kiss Trump’s ass enough, you might just get top secret national security clearance. Maybe that’s the Art Of The Deal? OK, we will admit that we’ve never actually read the Art Of The Deal, we will just make things up. Which is pretty much what Trump does all day every day. That’s what happens when you don’t actually read. And when you do read, the actual headlines are pretty frightening, such as what happened when the Democrats inquired about this clearance:

The White House rejected a demand from the House Oversight Committee to turn over documents and comply with interviews concerning the security clearances of some of President Donald Trump's closest advisers, including Trump senior adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner.
The refusal to provide the documents increases the likelihood that House Oversight Chairman Elijah Cummings will issue a subpoena for the information.
Cummings told CNN on Tuesday that "when you cannot get information, you cannot be a check," and said Trump's administration is "reluctant" to give the committee "the information that we need to do our job." The Maryland Democrat said that "under the Constitution, we have a duty -- it's not some witch hunt, it's a duty, a sworn duty, by the way -- to be a check on the executive branch."
The chairman added, "We will very carefully consider our next options, and we will do things that are responsible and consistent with the Constitution."

That we can imagine is pretty much what it’s like behind the scenes. In fact, how did Jared obtain his security clearance? That’s something that has been under a lot of scrutiny lately. And trying to figure out why and how he has security clearance is enough to make you go WTF?. But really, just don’t try to make sense of it. Instead try to figure out how it can be taken away.

Over the last two years we’ve seen periodic news reports detailing the comedy of errors that has been Jared Kushner’s security clearance process. The story flares up, but because it seems only to be about bureaucratic paperwork, it smolders just as quickly. This is because we mostly see the “what”—the bureaucratic swindle—and not the “why.” News: It’s not boring.

Sadly, though, we can’t get around the “what” of it, so I’ll tell a short story:

Kushner, who needs a top-level clearance to do the jobs assigned to him—such as negotiating the Middle East peace process—didn’t receive a full clearance for a long, long time. When he did get cleared, it was because Donald Trump—who is President of the United States and coincidentally also Kushner’s father-in-law—overrode his national security officers and demanded it.

Why didn’t Kushner qualify? First, he repeatedly withheld information on his security questionnaire (form SF-86), which he had to amend four times. (Flag this: The omissions included meetings with foreign officials.) Kushner’s applications were so riddled with errors and omissions that when Charles Phalen, director of the administration’s National Background Investigations Bureau, was asked before Congress if he could “recall if there has ever been an applicant having to submit four addenda detailing over 100 errors and omissions being able to maintain their security clearance,” he replied he had “never seen that level of mistakes.”

And by the way – the one person who could revoke Kushner’s security clearance is one of Trump’s worst nightmares – California congressman Adam Schiff, or as Trump calls him “Shifty Schiff”. But there is also this.

A White House security specialist is seeking official whistleblower protection from the federal government after raising concerns about “unwarranted security clearances" for administration officials, including Jared Kushner, according to two sources familiar with the matter.

The specialist, Tricia Newbold, filed the whistleblower complaint less than two weeks after she was suspended without pay for defying her supervisor, Carl Kline.

The complaint, which was obtained by NBC News, alleges Newbold raised concerns with Kline about a security clearance for an individual as early as July 2017. The complaint does not identify the person, but sources familiar with the situation told NBC News that it was Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and adviser.

In the complaint, Newbold says Kline "repeatedly mishandled security files and has approved unwarranted security clearances."

This is what happens when the conspiracy theorists run the conspiracy. Extortion, racketeering, lies, and more lies – all standard operating procedure for the Donald Trump administration. That’s enough to make you ask – Jared Kushner’s security clearance:

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Oh man I could really use a drink right now!

Of course you know the idea behind this is that we have some cocktails, and while we are cocktailing we talk about anything in the news that doesn’t relate to politics. So tell me bartender, what goes well with a jealous boyfriend story? Jealous Boyfriend IPA? OK I will try that one. And give it to me in a large glass, and don’t skimp on the pour. And I don’t know if you saw in the news over the weekend that former Yankees star Alex Rodrigues got engaged to everyone’s favorite hand puppet Jennifer Lopez over the weekend. Well, none were more jealous than former Oakland Athletics star and part time Steven Segal impersonator Jose Canseco. And let’s just say Mr. Canseco is a home run short of a cycle.

Jose Canseco has moved on from his pitch of assisting New York Mets outfielder Tim Tebow with his at-bats to taking swings at the second-most high-profile pairing of the weekend.

No, no, not Antonio Brown switching yellow for silver. Canseco is taking aim at former New York Yankees all-star Alex Rodriguez giving Jennifer Lopez a diamond he couldn’t lose on a beach.
Canseco dives in on cheating allegation

One day after A-Rod announced the engagement on his social accounts, Canseco decided to fill his time accusing the former slugger of cheating on his new fiance.

It gets worse: the woman Canseco pulled into this mess is his ex-wife, Jessica.

While J-Lo’s competition show, “World of Dance,” was airing Sunday night, Canseco delivered a string of tweets with zero facts.

“Alex Rodriguez stop being a piece of s— stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez,” he tweeted.

Oh Jose, you can’t just flat out accuse A-Rod of cheating. Oh wait, except everybody has accused him of cheating! And not just on Jennifer Lopez, either! But it gets weirder – so much weirder. Apparently Mr. Canseco has gone completely off his rocker and wants to fight A-Rod for J.Lo’s heart. Because that always works! And them’s fighting words, apparently!

One day after Alex Rodriguez confirmed his engagement to Jennifer Lopez, Jose Canseco accused Rodriguez of being unfaithful to the pop singer and actress.

Canseco on Sunday said Rodriguez was cheating on Lopez with his ex-wife Jessica.

Jose and Jessica Canseco married in 1996 and divorced in 1999.

Following his initial tweet alleging Rodriguez of cheating on Lopez, the six-time All-Star also issued a challenge to A-Rod.

Canseco's final season in MLB was in 2001. He tried his hand at mixed martial arts in 2009, losing to Hong Man Choi via first-round submission.

Ha ha… that’s classic. But being jealous boyfriend #1 isn’t the only crazy thing that he’s been cooking up lately. And this is too fucking good. Apparently Mr. Canseco is a hardcore conspiracy theorist who believes in bigfoot and wants to fight aliens. Yes, those kinds of aliens, sir! And nothing says Las Vegas like alien hunting. The cost? Only a mere $5,000!

Former major leaguer Jose Canseco has continued to sail off into the muddy skies of insanity, as he is promising that people who pay to spend time with him will meet a “real alien” and Bigfoot.

When last we visited former Oakland Athletics star Jose Canseco, he had decided to share his beliefs that aliens were teaching humanity how to travel through time. With concepts straight out of an H.P. Lovecraft story, Canseco proclaimed that the technology existed, at least in regards to those aliens, to send the brains of humanity through time and space. Of course, his claim that he himself had been in the future, and had seen the Super Bowl already, was proven wrong.

While there may be some doubt regarding Canseco and his treks through time, he promises that those aliens are real. In fact, if you spend the money to hang out with him, not only will you get to meet one of those aliens, but he also guarantees a Bigfoot sighting as well.

Yes, for a mere $5000, you too can golf, hunt Bigfoot, and go fight aliens with Jose Canseco. I just… how… what… who is this for? I mean he’s got Bigfoot ideology all wrong! Bigfoot is usually found in the forests, and there’s no forests in Vegas! Yes, sir, I’ve been there. Oh and Mr. Canseco is also trying to court Tim Tebow. Dude, Jose… you might want to take a break from humanity for a while. Go home, you’re drunk.

According to Jose Canseco …

Wait, come back. It’s not like you think.

OK, so it’s exactly like you think. Canseco is having a thought, just a few weeks after his last thought — inviting suckers, er, thrill-seekers on a $5,000-per-person excursion to hunt for Bigfoot and aliens who have communicated to the onetime Oakland A’s Most Valuable Player the secrets of time travel.

I’ll pause for a moment while you travel back in time and read that again.

That’s our Hosey (as Dave Stewart used to call his one-time teammate) — always swinging for the fences.

Here’s his new thought: He wants a job as Tim Tebow’s personal hitting coach. But only if Tebow trades his batting helmet for a tin-foil hat.

“Tim Tebow let me help you with your swing,” Canseco tweeted. “I just saw one of your bats you have no rhythm right now and you’re to rotational I will help you for free I’m a fan of yours.”

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 1 Week 1

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Let's spin the wheel one last time this week! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy.... STOP!!! T-Shirt Cannon!!! Yes everyone will get the new Top 10 Stupidest State 2019 t-shirt! Yeah how awesome is that? Let's spin it again! Stupidest State 2019! Hit it!

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Stupidest State Round 1 Week 1! We're here live at the home of the Arizona State University Sun Devils, the fabulous Wells Fargo Center in Phoenix, Arizona! We've got two matchups of two teams and they are here and they are ready to tangle! In this corner it's a Battle of the Batshit as Kentucky takes on Maine, fresh from their triumphant return to the tournament! While in this corner, it's a Gun Nut showdown as two newcomers to the tournament look to bring their big guns to the dance - it's hot newcomer Idaho against another hot newcomer, Oregon. Who will win? Who will go home? Let's get out the bracket so you can follow along!

[font size="4"]Kentucky Vs. Maine [/font]

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]

So of course you know the Bluegrass State, Kentucky is the reigning champion of this conference since Florida bowed out and became a member of the Gun Nut Conference. Want to know Kentucky's credentials? Yes, their governor currently is Matt Blevin, who's been called one of the worst governors in the country. They're also home to two of the most horrible senators this country has ever seen - jackass and human turtle impersonator Mitch McConnell and Mr. Monkey Pancakes himself, Rand Paul. Kentucky is also the home of former Christian right hero now disgraced county clerk Kim Davis. And now they can add Nicholas Sandmann to the list! Yes, the 16 year old from the Indigenous People's March is a hero of Trump because he's going after the mainstream media for - get this - character defamation! Oh womp womp!

The legal team representing Nick Sandmann is seeking $275 million in damages from CNN, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court on Tuesday.
Nick, a 16-year-old Covington Catholic student, was thrust into the national spotlight when videos of him and his classmates interacting with others outside the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., went viral in January. He is represented by Todd McMurtry and experienced libel and defamation lawyer L. Lin Wood of Atlanta.
This is the second defamation lawsuit filed against a media company after the viral incident in Washington, D.C.
In February, Nick's legal team filed a lawsuit in federal court seeking $250 million in damages against The Washington Post. Nick's legal team also has sent dozens of letters requesting national media outlets and figures preserve evidence such as internal emails for potential lawsuits.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Gee if he thinks CNN is bad wait until he gets a hold of this program! Oh and his legal team? He has a whole fucking legal team? Who's paying for this? Time to follow the money. The sooner this dipshit goes away the better. But the sad thing is we probably haven't heard the last of this pathetic snowflake. Yeah he is a snowflake! He can dish it out, but he sure can't take it. Vicious attacks on him? Go cry me a fucking river.

Following a $250 million defamation lawsuit against The Washington Post, Covington Catholic teenager Nick Sandmann and his family are planning to sue CNN for a similar amount, Sandmann's lawyer said.
Lawyer L. Lin Wood announced the lawsuit in an interview with Fox News host Mark Levin. The interview is set to air on Sunday at 10 p.m. ET during the network's Life, Liberty & Levin.
“CNN was probably more vicious in its direct attacks on Nicholas than the Washington Post, and CNN goes into millions of individuals’ homes," Wood said.
Wood said he expects the lawsuit will be filed on "Monday or Tuesday" of next week.
“I've got some young, smart lawyers that are working hard as we can," Wood said. "Double-checking, and listen, when we file complaints, we've investigated it because we want to get it right. Maybe CNN can learn from that."

[font size="4"]Maine[/font]

Maine needs no introduction to the conference. The Pine Tree State's credentials are pretty much unparalleled in the dance as they have given us Gov. Paul Le Page. They've also given us notorious flip flopping senator Susan Collins. But Maine, outside of the major cities, is also home to some very prime MAGA country. Which is why even though they tend to vote Blue, they also vote in some of the craziest politicians in the country. So much that they've been referred to as Canada's Florida. Well, at least on this program they have anyway. So what's Maine been up to lately? Well they attempted to censor political speech (sponsored by a republican, obviously) and it hilariously backfired on them!

A Maine Republican’s bill that sought to ban teachers from discussing political or ideological advocacy with students has been unanimously rejected by a legislative committee.

Rep. Lawrence Lockman’s bill sought to limit the types of classroom discussions teachers can facilitate and would have barred teachers from “endorsing, supporting, or opposing” court cases and presidential actions. The Bangor Daily News reports the bill faced strong opposition and was rejected Thursday by members of the Education and Cultural Affairs Committee.

Republican Rep. Gary Drinkwater says Lockman’s bill was an overreach and any issues about classroom discussions can be handled at a local level.

Republican Rep. Heidi Sampson says the Maine School Management Association has agreed to send letters to school boards about discussing sensitive topics in classrooms.

Read more: https://www.pressherald.com/2019/03/01/maine-bill-banning-teachers-political-speech-in-classrooms-fails/

That's pretty fucked up that that is where we're at in this country that politicians have to start censoring speech because it is getting so out of control. And no, we don't want to go down that road sir! And Maine can't even budget right - they have the same budget aspirations as Trump does, which is throw a whole bunch of cash that you don't have at the subject and hopefully it will go away. Huh, I don't remember that being an economics lesson!

AUGUSTA — Gov. Janet Mills laid out her $8 billion budget before the Legislature on Monday night, arguing for a proposal that expands Medicaid, spends more on the opioid crisis and returns more money to municipalities by telling lawmakers Maine “cannot afford to stand still.”

In the first budget address of her tenure as governor, Mills said that Maine “has many assets but it also has many challenges” as the state lags behind its New England neighbors on economic expansion, income growth and public health. Mills said her two-year, $8 billion budget “moves us forward” by making investments in schools, infrastructure and health initiatives without raising taxes.

“This is a pragmatic, common-sense budget that lives within our means and that delivers what Maine people want,” said Mills, a former attorney general and Democratic state lawmaker who is Maine’s first female governor.

... snip ...

“Paul LePage said teachers are ‘a dime a dozen.’ Shawn Moody lost the election when he said Maine schools are ‘overfunded.’ Based on the reactions of the Republicans to Governor Mills’ budget speech tonight, they’ve clearly learned nothing,” House Majority Leader Matt Moonen, D-Portland, tweeted shortly after Mills’ speech.

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh this one is a no brainer! Kentucky easily routes Maine to advance to the next round of the tournament. Final score - 85 - 61, they win by a whopping 24 points!

[font size="4"]Idaho Vs Oregon [/font]

[font size="4"]Idaho[/font]

This is the first time we've seen the great state of Idaho in the tournament. Yes, the home of Boise State's infamous blue football field is home to a lot of guns. And guess what? They're not afraid to use them either! So what makes them one of the hottest states in the union that they can go and brandish their guns wherever they please? Well concealed carry is a hot topic in the Gem State but don't let that fool you into thinking that they are anti-gun. They are very much pro gun to the point where restaurateurs have to start chasing them out of public places!

Chef John Berryhill was surprised that a brief interaction he had with a small group of restaurant patrons about their guns on Feb. 21 resulted in a social media firestorm — and he said he appreciates all the support he’s received over the past week from customers.
“The whole social media thing is just huge,” he said Friday night. “There were thousands and thousands and thousands of comments from Twitter to Instagram to Facebook.”
Business has been brisk as usual at Bacon, despite a state lawmaker’s call for a boycott last weekend, Berryhill said. He’s said he’s not anti-gun, but he’s considering putting up a sign to let customers know that he does not want open carry in his restaurant.
“People have been carrying concealed weapons here for a long time, and it doesn’t bother us because you don’t know,” he said, noting that several of his friends have recently told him they conceal carry.

Yeah so that's how gun crazy Idaho is. But what happened with that controversial bill that would have allowed anyone with a carry permit to allow guns in schools? Well thankfully that died on the house floor, but it will be back. Yes, just like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons, this subject will refuse to go away quietly. I'm sure Trump will weigh in at some point, and when he does you can guarantee that he'll take the unpopular opinion because that's how he rolls. But for now...

A bill that would have allowed anyone with an enhanced concealed carry permit to carry guns at Idaho public schools is dead, at least for now.
House Bill 203 will not get a hearing in the Idaho House of Representatives State Affairs Committee, according to committee Chairman Rep. Steven Harris (R-Meridian).
“The bill will not be heard this year,” he wrote in an email. “This will allow more time for stakeholder involvement.”
However, the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Chad Christensen (R-Ammon) said he’s still working on the bill, though he wouldn’t specify what he might be doing to revive it.
“The chairman has cancelled the hearing,” he wrote. “However there are some things in the works.”

[font size="4"]Oregon[/font]

Now you might be thinking "Hey wait a minute, Oregon is a blue state!". Well, the Beaver State is a blue state the same way that Maine is a blue state. In that they have a lot of areas that vote blue, but once you get outside, there's plenty of heat packing MAGA nuts to satisfy any Trump fan. Oregon may be the home to the Trailblazers and the Oregon Ducks, but they're also home to some pistol packing militia groups such as Patriot Prayer, the III%ers, and the Oath Keepers! Which begs the question - what are they keeping an oath to? Well they're proposing a controversial bill that would allow cities to become sanctuary cities for hardcore gun nuts!

A new kind of gun law is on the ballot in 10 Oregon counties this year. The so-called “Second Amendment Preservation Ordinances” would give those county sheriffs the authority to determine if state and federal gun laws are constitutional and bar county resources from being used to enforce them.
The measures represent a new legal strategy from gun rights groups.
“It’s a brand-new approach,” said Rob Taylor, an Oregon gun rights activist who is pushing these ordinances. “It’s something that really hasn’t been tried in a lot of places.”
Taylor runs the Committee for the Preservation of the Second Amendment. The group wrote and shepherded the ballot measure to Election Day with help of the Oregon chapters of militia groups like the Oath Keepers and the Three Percenters.

Yeah so sanctuary cities for guns! What a great idea! And you know what else Oregon is the home of? The Bundy Militia! Yes, the discount gun humping cowboy mafia that was recently pardoned by Trump because, owning the libs, has been under scrutiny since that infamous pardon. And in fact, even Bundy himself has got tired of the movement that he started!

Ammon Bundy, the rancher at the center of a 2016 standoff with the government at an Oregon wildlife preserve, said he is leaving the militia movement after criticizing President Trump’s anti-immigrant rhetoric.
Bundy shut down his social media accounts and announced that he was stepping away from “patriot groups,” BuzzFeed News reported Thursday.
He said the decision comes after he faced fierce backlash for opposing Trump’s attacks on a caravan of migrants.
"It's like being in a room full of people in here, trying to teach, and no one is listening," he told the outlet. "The vast majority seemed to hang on to what seemed like hate, and fear, and almost warmongering, and I don't want to associate myself with warmongers."

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Man this was a close one that came down to the wire... and we might have our first upset of the tournament brewing here. And the winner is... OREGON!!! OREGON WINS!!! A last second 3 pointer knocks favored front runner Idaho out of the tournament and Oregon moves on. What an upset! The crowd is stunned here at Wells Fargo Center!

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

For Round 1 Week 2, we're live at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center in fabulous Las Vegas for the hot 2nd round action! It's a rematch from last year as Wisconsin goes for broke against Nevada's gaming industry, while Indiana faces off against tournament newcomer Oklahoma in a Family Values showdown!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Rival Sons[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Long Beach. You can see them on tour through April including a sold out show at the Henry Fonda Theater on May 9th, their latest album is called “Feral Roots”. Playing their song “Too Bad”, give it up for Rival Sons!

Thank you UCB Theater for our 3 week homestand! We’re off to Atlanta next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
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Stupidest State Hosting: Wells Fargo Arena, Phoenix, AZ
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Mar 13, 2019, 05:00 PM (1 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

NO!!!! You don't call someone a pedophile because you don't like them. It's the worst kind of character assassination possible. Instead you give them the finger and tell them to fuck off like a rational person would!

*audience applauds wildly*

This week the Top 10 is all new live from our home in Hollywood with the famous Wheel Of Corruption! We delve into the GOP's super secret underground elite pedophile ring, Trump gives special FEMA favors to states that voted for him, we ask how Jared Kushner's security clearance is still a thing, we break down the R. Kelly interview, and Leaving Neverland divides Michael Jackson fans. We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - can Stormy Daniels make it as a stand up comedian? Yeah we thought so too. And in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at an epic Go Fund Me scam and tell you how you can avoid getting scammed on the crowdfunding website. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is stunned that the unholy Dark One is signing copies of the Good Book! Seriously, WTF!!! Plus we also have an all new "I Need A Drink" in which we're going to get drunk and sing the final swan song for Blockbuster Video, which is down to just one location. What's going to happen to Russell Crowe's jockstrap? And it's finally time! Stupidest State 2019 is finally here! We kick off the 1st round action live from Phoenix, where Kentucky takes on Maine for the Batshit Crown, while hot newcomer Idaho brings their big guns to the dance against Oregon! Plus we have some live music from Rival Sons!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Sat Mar 9, 2019, 01:53 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-9: The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-9: The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Hey websites, please stop asking me to read your updated privacy policy involving cookies because we both know that ain’t happening. Welcome back everyone! Ooh and it’s my favorite segment of the year – time for our annual Stupidest State selection Sunday! Whew!!! OK… so I’m always one to try new things but this reminds me of a classic scene from the Simpsons. Do we have time for the thing? OK so I don’t know if you have seen this viral Twitter post or not but there’s an Uber driver based out of Seattle that’s received a lot of attention for his controversial “ride menu”. And the menu consists of 5 options – the Stand Up ride, where he tells you about some crazy stories he’s been involved in. Then there’s the silent option – where obviously he and you both shut up for the entire ride. That would personally be my pick as long as I could put my headphones on and listen to music. Then there’s the Charlie Brown-esque “Therapy Ride” where he plays psychiatrist and listens to your personal problems. Not my thing but I’m sure there’s people out there like that. Then there’s my favorite – the “Creepy Ride” where you don’t say anything and he stares at you super creepy like during the entire ride. But I really want to see “The Rude Ride”, where he is extremely rude to you the entire ride. Oh I so badly want to know what the “Rude Ride” is like, because you know me, I go for comedy. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to this week, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into what’s really coming to take your jobs, and it ain’t illegal immigrants.

Wow, where do we begin this week? Well to start with, Trump’s fixer, Michael Cohen (1) turned the tables on the Mueller investigation and not only squealed, squealed hard on his former boss, we will tell you all about that. Taking the second slot this week, is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) and well, he went to North Korea and threw the parents of Otto Warmbier under the bus while praising Kim Jong Un. Yeah that happened. For the third slot this week, we have to talk about CPAC. Yes, there was a ton of batshit crazy in one room at the annual conference that gives conservatives a platform to say “fuck you liberalism”. In the number 4 slot, everyone’s favorite batshit crazy conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones was on the Joe Rogan podcast and it was quite the stuff of insanity (think Tracy Jordan’s interview with Larry King on 30 Rock level of crazy) and we will break it all down for you. Taking the 5th slot this week, is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week – California does everything better including our natural disasters, and two towns are literally drowning in it, in a piece called “The Flooded City”. For the 6th slot this week, we have of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week, our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive and go behind the scenes on a controversial new anti-abortion movie being distributed called “Unplanned” and it’s crazy. Taking the 7th slot this week, we have a new installment of “Beating A Dead Horse” – so Trump wants to sign an executive order for free speech after a TP USA recruiter got punched in the face at UC Berkeley, but like all things he does, it could be a colossal disaster and backfire on him big time. For the number 8 slot this week, we have a new segment – “What’s Up With France?” because we’ve been meaning to get to the Yellow Jacket protests for some time, so we will do that this week! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have one of our favorite segments and it’s “People Are Dumb” but this week it’s the “Hey, drink less” version of People Are Dumb. And finally it’s my favorite time of year! It’s that time of year when we throw the doors open to our Stupidest State contest! And this week it’s Selection Sunday! Yes, we will have all the teams, stats, odds, and info that you need to fill out your bracket, and we do encourage gambling here! Plus we have some live music from the Fever 333! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]CPAC Recap: A Whole Lotta Batshit Crazy
[br] [/font]

Whew. So…. That happened. In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, I’m talking about the annual “fuck you liberalism” convention known as the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC. There’s a lot to unpack here, you know, kind of like when you’re moving a medium size business to a new location. Wait, when did we have an electric typewriter? Yeah it’s that kind of unpacking – it’s full of surprises and we’re still finding out things that we didn’t know we had. I mean fuck, we actually had *THIS*:

Here we have it. Somehow conservatives take more offense to kneeling in front of the flag as opposed to treating it like your fuck buddy on the side. Because really, you can't unsee this and it's more offensive than what Colin Kaepernick did. Thank you! But moving on, This might be my favorite thing Trump has said so far.


Yes, he actually made the claim that democrats want a train to Hawaii. Funny, I don’t remember that being part of the party platform! And we’re the crazy ones? GTFO!! By the way if you want a rundown of the crazies things Trump said in his 2 hour rant, there’s this:

38. "You know, somebody said, 'Oh, the speech you made, sir, the State of the Union speech was incredible.' They said it was incredible. They said that was so great."
Who is this "somebody"?
39. "I didn't want to get it approved for a certain reason, because I thought somebody treated me very badly. Very badly. Don't get that vote very often. And I said, you know, I don't want to get it."
Trump is making clear here that he is not happy that he helped get drilling in ANWR approved because Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R) wanted it to happen and he didn't want her to get something she wanted. Because she doesn't vote with him enough. Totally fine!
40. "By the way, you know I'm building the wall. We're finishing the wall. We got a lot of money. It's in the thing."
It is, indeed, in the thing.
41. "We have people in Congress that hate our country."

Damn straight! Then we had a meeting of Jerry Falwell Jr and Donald Trump Jr, or the meeting of the rich entitled fuckwads who’ve never had to work a day in their life:

Today, CPAC featured a remote panel discussion held at Liberty University that largely consisted of L.U. president and sycophantic Trump supporter Jerry Falwell Jr. interviewing Donald Trump Jr. Though the panel also featured Falwell’s wife, Becki, Trump Jr.’s girlfriend and Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle, and Turning Point USA’s Charlie Kirk, the discussion was completely dominated by Falwell Jr. and Trump Jr., both of whom griped that Democrats had intentionally scheduled a congressional hearing featuring President Trump’s former personal attorney, Michael Cohen, to coincide with the summit that Trump was attending with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un in order to undermine the president.

Falwell Jr. said that if President Obama had been attending such a summit and Republicans had scheduled such a hearing, “everybody would be screaming, ‘That’s treason, you’re working against the United States’ chance to get peace with a nuclear power.'”

“Think about what that does when the other side is seeing that going on simultaneously,” Trump Jr. agreed. “You’re going to have a good negotiation with that going on in the background? But that’s the reality. The left hates Donald Trump much more than they love America. They would rather see failed nuclear peace talks than give Donald Trump even a little bit of a win.”

No, dipshit, we hate Trump because we love America, and Trump is burning down everything that makes this country great. And by the way in case you’re wondering where this is going, look no further than Glenn Beck, seen here doing his best impression of Col. Sanders, where the GOP is taking this country, and well, they’re deranged. I mean seriously they cant even get their horror movie villains right:

Glenn Beck kicked things off at CPAC this morning by attempted to explain the horrors of socialism by likening it to the “Friday The 13th” horror movie series.

“If socialism were a movie, socialism would be ‘Friday The 13th,'” he said, “because it seems to always stalk college co-eds who all think that the death and violence is just a scary story that never happened. And they are so convinced that it will never happen to them that they mock the old person—the one person in town who saw it first hand—they call him crazy, a nut who still believes in ghost stories.”

“And then, they’re all dead,” Beck continued. “And then Jason, his body disappears, and only the old guy who saw it coming saw that the body is gone. And we have sequel after sequel, it happens time and again, in movie theater after movie theater, and in country after country.”

“Stop trying to hook up in some cabin in the woods and prepare, because Jason is coming,” Beck warned. “He’s right behind you, and this time he’s coming with a hammer and a sickle.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

The guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, had quite the week. We already saw how completely unhinged he was at CPAC (and the democrats are the crazy ones, right… ). But we got to talk about the other thing he did which was meet with murderous psychopathic dictator Kim Jong Un, who Trump calls a “swell guy!!”. The greatest ever! What, are they gonna bone? Bump uglies? Well the bromance between the two was in full swing in Hanoi last week:

With nervous world capitals looking on, President Donald Trump and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un are beginning their second nuclear summit with a one-on-one discussion and an intimate dinner as hard questions swirl about what the American president will demand and Pyongyang might be willing to give up.

The two leaders and their aides encamped in Hanoi after long journeys by plane, train and automobile — Trump on Air Force One, Kim in an armored railcar and limousine — for two days of talks addressing perhaps the world’s biggest security challenge: Kim’s nuclear program that stands on the verge of realistically threatening targets around the planet.

Although many experts are skeptical Kim will give up the nuclear weapons he likely sees as his best guarantee of continued rule, there was a palpable, carnival-like excitement among many in Hanoi as final preparations were made for Wednesday’s summit opening. There were also huge traffic jams in the already congested streets.

Trump was opening his visit in morning meetings with Vietnam’s president and prime minister before turning his attention to Kim. Official greetings with the normally reclusive leader will give way to a short one-on-one discussion before what’s being described as a social dinner with an exclusive guest list. The White House said Trump will be joined at the dinner by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney. Kim, too, will have two aides with him, and there will be translators for each side.

So Trump is cozying up to murderous dictators like Kim Jong Un. Now you might be thinking “HEY! That sounds straight out of Russia’s playbook!” Well, the answer to that question is – you are absolutely correct about that!

Moscow confirmed plans Monday for North Korean leader Kim Jong Un to visit Russia for a meeting, the details of which are still unclear.

"There is no clarity now. The contacts have been ongoing through diplomatic channels. Indeed, this visit is on the agenda and there was an invitation," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters, according to Russian news agency TASS. "We hope that in the near future the exact date and venue will be agreed on through diplomatic channels."

Russian President Vladimir Putin said earlier that Kim had been invited to Russia, although he has not given details on what the leaders planned to discuss, according to TASS.

The North Korean leader finished his second summit with President Trump in Hanoi, Vietnam, last week.

Yes that’s Putin’s playbook all right! But the big message we got here was Trump’s treatment of Otto Warmbier. Remember him? Well, by cozying up to Un, Trump is basically throwing Mr. Warmbier’s parents under the bus. Just like he did with the parents of Katie Steinle. Guess that’s part of the art of the deal? Well it’s a bit more complicated than that.

When Otto Warmbier was returned to the United States in 2017 and died shortly afterward, President Donald Trump condemned the North Korean regime for the imprisonment and suspected torture of the college student who was arrested in 2015 for alleged spying.

"You are powerful witnesses to a menace that threatens our world, and your strength inspires us all," Trump said, addressing Warmbier's parents, during his 2018 State of the Union address. "Tonight, we pledge to honor Otto's memory with American resolve." He added in that same speech: "We need only look at the depraved character of the North Korean regime to understand the nature of the nuclear threat it could pose to America and our allies."

Fast forward to Thursday in Hanoi, when, at a summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, Trump said this of Warmbier and North Korea: "He tells me that he didn't know about it and I will take him at his word." Trump added that Kim "felt badly about it. He felt very badly."

Yeah go ahead, stick your thumbs up at that one. The GOP and Trump basically told Otto Warmbier and his parents to go fuck himself. But this will haunt Trump for the remainder of his days. Every presidency has someone like this. But the difference? Before now, none of them had access to social media the way we do in the Trump era.

President Trump on Friday sought to clean up his widely criticized claim that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un did not know about the treatment of U.S. college student Otto Warmbier, saying “I hold North Korea responsible” for Warmbier’s “mistreatment and death.”

In a pair of tweets, Trump claimed that his initial comments at a Thursday news conference following his failed nuclear summit with Kim were “misinterpreted.”

Trump’s new comments, however, do not directly address whether he believes Kim bears responsibility for the death of Warmbier, who died in 2017 shortly after being released from a 17-month stint in a North Korean prison. He had been sentenced to 15 years of hard labor after allegedly stealing a propaganda poster while on a tour of Pyongyang in January 2016.

Asked about Warmbier during his post-summit news conference in Hanoi, Vietnam, Trump said he took Kim at his word that the North Korean leader was unaware of Warmbier’s treatment in prison.

“He knew the case very well. But he knew it later,” Trump said of Kim. “And, you know, you’ve got a lot of people. Big country. Lot of people. And in those prisons and those camps, you have a lot of people. And some really bad things happened to Otto. Some really bad things."

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[font size="8"]Michael Cohen
[br] [/font]

Trump is a classic mob boss. He’s got his ass kissers (Hannity, etc), his unhinged attorney (Giuliani), he’s got his clean up guys (the Christian right), and he’s also got people who are his fixers. One such guy is his former attorney Michael Cohen. We’ve previously covered Michael Cohen squealing against his former boss in Idiots #5-22. If that’s the Art Of The Squeal, think of this as its’ next logical sequel, The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder.

A lawyer for Michael Cohen first broached the idea of a pardon with President Donald Trump's legal team, two people familiar with the matter tell NBC News, and the ensuing pardon discussions are now under examination by House and Senate intelligence committees.

The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday that Cohen’s lawyer, Stephen Ryan, first mentioned the idea of a pardon with the Trump legal team in the weeks after the April raid on Cohen’s home and office, and that the president’s lawyers, including Jay Sekulow, Rudy Giuliani and Joanna Hendon, dismissed the idea. But at least one of them, Giuliani, left open the possibility that the president could grant Cohen one in the future, the Journal reported.

NBC News spoke to three people, one of whom is familiar with what Cohen told the House and Senate intelligence committees, one of whom is familiar with Cohen’s account, and one of whom is familiar with the account of Trump’s legal team.

Yes that is a good question! We all know that Trump has the worst attorneys and Michael Cohen is no exception. But what this does bring into question is how much did this hurt Trump? Well if you’re guessing very little to no damage, you’re probably correct.

Poet Maya Angelou made a lot of profound remarks during her literary career. But the one that has always stuck with me is what she said indirectly about apologies.

“When people show you who they are, believe them,” she once said. When quoting Angelou, most people just end it there. Out of context, the statement begs an answer to whether an apology can reverse what someone has shown himself to be.

We have been asked to forgive a lot of people lately. Along with Roseanne Barr, the most difficult for me has been Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s former personal lawyer and self-proclaimed henchman.

If we are to believe him, Cohen did Trump’s dirty work for 12 years, acting as the go-between for questionable activities targeting anyone who stood in the way of the businessman’s quest to make an extra dollar. Now, Cohen says he is sorry.


But here’s where it gets weird, because, why wouldn’t it? Michael Cohen apparently sought a pardon from Trump last year and Trump wouldn’t give it to him. I mean gee, I really wonder why? Usually when you turn against a mob boss, the first priority is to give you the cement shoes, not a get out of jail free card!

An attorney for Michael Cohen raised the idea of a pardon with President Donald Trump’s lawyers after federal authorities raided Cohen’s residence and office in April, The Wall Street Journal reported, citing people familiar with the talks.

Congress is now investigating those conversations, documents requested by the House Judiciary Committee revealed on Monday, the Journal said.

The pardon discussions happened as Cohen’s attorney at that time, Stephen Ryan, was working with Trump’s lawyers to determine whether documents seized by the FBI during the April raid were protected by attorney-client privilege, sources told the Journal.

The report comes days after Cohen told lawmakers on Capitol Hill last week that he never asked for a pardon from Trump, and that he would not accept one. The Journal article noted there was no evidence that Cohen himself asked for a pardon or was aware of the alleged pardon discussions.

Yeah but the bottom line here is don’t squeal. I mean you know the old elementary school adage about how snitches get stitches. Just… don’t go there. But if you do go there, just make sure you have backup otherwise your boss will go down with the ship, and take you with him!

Analysts are still picking through all the crimes in which Michael Cohen directly implicated his former boss, President Donald Trump. Among the most significant crimes are those offences that were part of the articles of impeachment written for prior presidents. That historically notorious list includes acts of suborning perjury and obstructing justice, which can arise from either directing or encouraging a person to lie to federal authorities. It is for this reason that Cohen is apparently now searching through different electronic versions of his draft congressional testimony from 2017 to show that Trump’s other personal lawyers at the time edited Cohen’s written testimony to mislead Congress.

If and when those drafts are presented to Congress, it will be important to scan not only for what they said about the Moscow Tower deal, but also the passages on “collusion” more broadly. That’s because Cohen also testified last week that the President told Cohen, who was also one of Trump’s personal lawyers at the time, to lie to Congress in 2017 about his knowledge or beliefs about collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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It’s been a while since we checked in with our old buddy Alex Jones, who has gone considerably more and more off the deep end. It’s like that superhero movie where everyone has a point where they hit rock bottom. Deadpool 2 had a great bit about this. “It’s like in the Human Centipede, when those people signed on to be in that movie”. This may be no human centipede, but it’s definitely what one might call a clusterfuck. So, Alex Jones wouldn’t exist without Joe Rogan, and Joe Rogan wouldn’t exist without Alex Jones. Well, the two have been in a ridiculous feud over the last month and it is quite magical. Here’s how it started.

"I came here, and I proved they're keeping babies alive and taking their organs," Jones said. "The Senate voted Monday to keep it legal...They f***ing did it, Bravo. And you can't f***ng admit they're killing already-born kids, so you're telling me it isn't real when they had a f***ing vote in the god***n f***ing Senate."

"That's a conspiracy theory," Bravo responds.

"I am ready to beat your f***ing ass," Jones answers. "You think you're f***ing tough, you're about to get it. Bull***t, they're killing already-born babies. Stop f***ing lying, god f***ing d***it. I'm getting pissed now."

Bravo later said he believed that politicians were campaigning for late-term abortions. "I'm being the ultimate skeptic."

When contacted for comment, an InfoWars representative sent Newsweek articles about late-term abortion, including a Slate report dating to 2012. "I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are simply ignorant, and not malicious or mentally challenged. Please educate yourself before you accuse people of promoting conspiracy theories, and maybe We The People will start respecting you, instead of holding you in derision and contempt for being fake news," the representative wrote. "This was already a thing in 2012."

Whew. That escalated quickly! And what is it with these guys and child molesters? It seems like everything comes back to that. Think of it like 6 Degrees Of Kevin Bacon, except there’s just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is a satanic interdimensional child molestor! So like all celebrity feuds, it escalated very quickly.

Like two neutron stars slowly pulled together by their mutual gravity, orbiting around each other before collapsing together and obliterating everything in space around them, Alex Jones and Joe Rogan are beefing.

I suppose this turn from the former pals was destined once Jones got 86'd from every respectable content mill on the Internet and thus became a little too hot to handle. Jones will yell at anyone (dead children included) if it’s good for business, and his totalizing worldview—or, rather, the totalizing worldview he hustles to the saddest and most gullible people online—dictates that anyone opposed to him is an agent of George Soros or the deep state or the gay frogs or whatever.

Jones and Rogan have, by their own admissions, been friends or at least acquaintances since the early 2000s, and they’ve appeared on each other’s shows (I don’t know the context for this picture, but it’s tremendous.) The trouble started last summer, shortly before Jones was banned. In a podcast with Dave Rubin last June, Rogan was critical of Jones’s Sandy Hook truthering (of which he says he was unaware when Jones came on his show in 2017) as well as muffuletta-brained conspiracy theorist Roseanne Barr’s insistence that Holocaust survivor George Soros was a Nazi.

Yeah Alex probably needs to stop talking. Especially when he and Joe Rogan kissed and made up and Joe Rogan invited Alex over to his podcast, and well, he went off the rails. I mean was he smoking some good covfefe or bad covfefe? I don’t know, don’t ask me how that shit works!

As Alex spluttered his way through his misunderstanding of news headlines and sci-fi stories, Rogan nodded along, assuring Jones that he wasn’t mocking him. “I believe you,” was the most Rogan had to add to this conversation, other than validating Jones’ sob story of facing consequences for labeling the grieving parents of school shooting victims as “crisis actors.”

Jones being barring from Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, along with facing a defamation lawsuit or two, has caused the man to dramatically shift his position on Sandy Hook. But he’s still a firm believer in just about every conspiracy theory out there, with the amusing exception of Flat Earth. As delusional as he is, even Alex Jones knows the shape of the world.

Listening to Jones’ barrage of mouth diarrhea, an imaginative blend of Nazis, aliens, human-animal hybrids, psychedelics and pedophilia, one is left only with an impression that we live in a terrifying, chaotic world, crushed under the weight of the rich and powerful.

Really, that concept isn’t too far removed from the truth; all Jones does is add some sci-fi and fantasy elements to the mix, supported by his insanely energetic delivery. He’s a storyteller, his worldview not too dissimilar from the overarching plotline of the Marvel universe, a tale of aliens, gods, and intelligent machines, albeit with an extremely sinister undertone of racial IQ pseudoscience.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Flooded City
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

California just does everything better. Including our natural disasters. You may have tornadoes and hurricanes. We have intense rains, floods, fires, mudslides, and the possibility of disastrous earthquakes and tsunamis, both of which we’ve been warned about since the dawn of time. And for our troubles, what does president Donald Trump give us? Basically a rock while his favorite states get the A+ treatment. Yes, this is a real thing. And what happens? He ignores disasters like this. Recent downpours in the Central Valley, near the Russian River area of the state, have turned the life of two cities upside down and inside out as intense flooding has led to this.

The raging Russian River, swollen to near its highest level in a quarter-century, flooded 2,000 homes, killing at least one person and turning parts of two northern California towns into "islands," this week, forcing residents to use kayaks and canoes instead of cars.

After reaching its crest of 45.3 feet late Wednesday — about 15 feet above flood stage — the river slowly receded Thursday.

California Gov. Gavin Newsom declared an emergency for five of the flooded counties. Officials ordered about 3,500 people to evacuate and about 2,000 homes, businesses and other structures were flooded up to 8 feet deep.

Located about 80 miles west of Sacramento, the towns of Guerneville and neighboring Monte Rio were the two hardest-hit communities. Residents paddled kayaks down watery streets on Thursday, but people should be able to drive to the towns Friday, officials said. Another half inch of rain may fall in the North Bay late Friday and early Saturday, the National Weather Service said, but not enough to significantly raise main rivers.

Yes so there’s two towns – Guernville and Monte Rio, both of which have been cut off and are now only accessible by boat. Thanks to the Russian River being at the highest level that it’s been in decades, maybe even a century. But people close to the ciites have painted a far grimmer portrait of what life is like in these towns.

The Russian River rose to its highest level in a generation late Wednesday, flooding storm-battered neighborhoods up and down the main stem and turning several lower river towns into islands disconnected from the rest of Sonoma County because floodwater and mudslides closed major roads.

Thousands of people were displaced as the roiling river escaped its banks and flattened into a broad expanse of brown plasma that swept through vineyards, riverside neighborhoods and other low-lying areas, swamping cars and picking up all kinds of debris, including a dumpster and port-a-potties seen carried away in the swift current.

The river crested at 45.5 feet at 10 p.m. after three days of staggering rainfall that in the wettest areas west of Healdsburg surpassed 20 inches.

Even Santa Rosa boasted a three-day total of 8.76 inches from the atmospheric river that stalled overhead, the National Weather Service said.

The resulting flood is now on record as the worst since New Year’s Day 1997, during which the river rose to 45 feet in Guerneville, and the sixth worst since 1940. The largest flood recorded occurred in 1986, when the lower river there crested at 49.5 feet.

Unfortunately that didn’t really happen though. The reality of this is far worse than you might think. But if you think the worst is yet to happen, you haven’t seen anything yet. We have more than the worst possible outcome ahead of us. What we are seeing in Guernville and Monte Rio is only the beginning, expect things to get much worse.

Major flooding along the Russian River in Sonoma County, California, has prompted evacuations and left two towns accessible only by boat.

County officials issued a mandatory evacuation order for the Russian River area, following a massive mudslide near Monte Rio on Tuesday.

A state of emergency was declared for Sonoma, Amador, Glenn, Lake and Mendocino Counties on Thursday following the destructive flooding and mudslides.

Following relentless rainfall, the Russian River quickly surpassed major flood stage early Wednesday. On Wednesday night, the river exceeded 45 feet - nearly 14 feet above flood stage. The river is now receding.

A slow-moving storm moved into the West Coast, and brought heavy rainfall that has occurred over northern and central California [Monday and Tuesday], according to AccuWeather Senior Meteorologist Frank Strait.

That is more like it. And if you do live in an area that’s prone to intense flooding, you might want to come prepared as well, it could get worse. And there’s no amount of Go Fund Me or insurance you can get that could possibly fix what’s about to happen. Insurance may cover your house and all of your possessions, but what happens if your entire town is fucked? Be prepared, because the worst is yet to come!

Scientists call it California’s “other big one,” and they say it could cause three times as much damage as a major earthquake ripping along the San Andreas Fault.

Although it might sound absurd to those who still recall five years of withering drought and mandatory water restrictions, researchers and engineers warn that California may be due for rain of biblical proportions — or what experts call an ARkStorm.

This rare mega-storm — which some say is rendered all the more inevitable due to climate change — would last for weeks and send more than 1.5 million people fleeing as floodwaters inundated cities and formed lakes in the Central Valley and Mojave Desert, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. Officials estimate the structural and economic damage from an ARkStorm (for Atmospheric River 1,000) would amount to more than $725 billion statewide.

In heavily populated areas of the Los Angeles Basin, epic runoff from the San Gabriel Mountains could rapidly overwhelm a flood control dam on the San Gabriel river and unleash floodwaters from Pico Rivera to Long Beach, says a recent analysis by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation!! You know we live in troubled times right now and nothing helps you relax more than a good book or film does. And they’re all just entertainment. Or are they? You know our brothers and sisters on the right are planning something in that world because they claim that Hollywood doesn’t speak to them. Well, they are planning a movie called “Unplanned”. Which they claim is a love story that involves abortion. As Deadpool said, all great movies start with a vicious murder don’t they? There is always that. But what is going on with this movie? We shall find out!

Former Planned Parenthood employee turned pro-life advocate Abby Johnson revealed back in September that she was working on a film that would chronicle her journey. This week, Pure Flix released the trailer for “Unplanned,” a movie Johnson hopes will inform and inspire viewers.

“Unplanned” will hit theaters everywhere March 29.

As Faithwire previously reported, the $6 million production was secretly completed in Oklahoma. The low-key filming process was deemed necessary given Johnson’s unpopular testimony — she’s already been sued by Planned Parenthood once.

Former Planned Parenthood Director Reveals Why She’s Desperate for People to Escape the Abortion Industry

Johnson, a former clinic director at Planned Parenthood, quit her practice after watching a procedure take place via ultrasound. In that moment, she realized that what she thought was compassionate women’s health care was really a deceptive industry that harmed and exploited women and children.

I mean seriously, guys. This is about as horrible as it gets. Can I get an amen??? And if you want to see something really fucked up guess what kind of rating this movie got? It got an R rating for it contains matter of a sensitive subject and I mean even it makes the good LAWRD cringe!

One of Hollywood’s biggest faith-based film studios has found itself in an unlikely battle with the movie industry’s higher power: The ratings board.

Pure Flix, the Christian-aimed studio behind PG-rated box office hits like God’s Not Dead 2 and The Case for Christ, was recently informed that next month’s anti-abortion drama Unplanned would receive an R rating, the first in the studio’s history. That could make it a tough sell for the company’s traditional family-friendly audience.

According to a report in The Hollywood Reporter, the controversial Unplanned received the rating due to a series of graphic abortion scenes. The R was handed down by the Motion Picture Association of America, the decades-old trade association that’s responsible for providing guidance for theater owners and parents. Most American theaters won’t exhibit films unless they have an official MPAA rating of G, PG, PG-13, or R (an R stipulates that theater owners not allow anyone under 17, unless they’re accompanied by a parent or guardian).

The ratings board includes less than a dozen voting members, all of them parents, who discuss the film after screening it. Filmmakers can contest their rating, but the appeals process can slow a film’s release, and doesn’t always result in a new rating.

Yes, WTF LOL indeed! So if we extrapolate this, a pregnant teenager can get an abortion but can’t go see a movie about getting an abortion! I mean even the good LAWRD JAYSUS right now is going “Well that’s pretty fucked up!”. And yes we can swear in my church, good sir! And if you cant handle the heat, you really need a safe space. And by the way, if conservative parents need to have movie ratings explained to them, they really need to get out more!

The organization says the R-rating on 'Unplanned' was for "some disturbing/bloody images" and was in no way politically motivated.

Pure Flix Entertainment, the family-friendly label known for distributing God’s Not Dead and a few dozen other movies aimed at Christians, will release its first R-rated film next month — and it is none too happy about having to do so.

The film, Unplanned, tells the true story of Abby Johnson, who defected from Planned Parenthood to become a pro-life activist. While the filmmakers were certain they were making a PG-13 film, the MPAA has informed them that it will, in fact, be rated R unless all scenes of abortions are removed or altered.

The filmmakers are refusing to change anything, putting Pure Flix in the awkward position of having to open an R-rated movie on March 29. The company's other releases, roughly two dozen movies, were all rated G, PG or PG-13.

So apparently they have no idea how ratings work because they’ve never made a movie with graphic images before. And then, well, do you think Abby Johnson’s story might be, well fabricated? Of course it is, because the film industry lies, and lying is a SIN!!! It is one of the most egregious of SINS!!! And that is a no in the eyes of the LAWRD!

At lunchtime on October 5, in the East Texas town of Bryan, a woman walked through the rear door of the Brazos Valley Coalition for Life office, which is one block west of a Planned Parenthood clinic. She was crying. It was the thirteenth day of the Coalition’s annual 40 Days for Life event, in which anti-abortion activists maintain a 24-hour vigil outside the front gate of the clinic, one of the few places in East Texas where a woman can obtain an abortion. The three staffers on duty immediately recognized the woman. It was the clinic’s 29-year-old director, Abby Johnson. “I want out,” she told them. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I know it’s not right.”

Stunned by Johnson’s sudden appearance and concerned about how distraught she seemed, the staffers sat with her, in a room ordinarily used to counsel pregnant women in crisis, until Shawn Carney, the Coalition’s director, arrived. Carney knew Johnson by sight—he had spent a lot of time on the sidewalk in front of the Planned Parenthood clinic—but he had never had a lengthy conversation with her. Carney, who is 27, had begun working at the Coalition as a volunteer, just as Johnson had at Planned Parenthood. Like Johnson, he had quickly been promoted to a position of leadership. Nothing like this had ever happened to him in his short career as an activist, and he could barely contain his excitement.

And that is a good question oh LAWRD!!! There you go! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That is it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Conservatives want to hold America’s colleges and universities accountable for their choices in freedom of speech issues. Here’s the thing, Nazis, you have every right to say what you want to say just as much as I have a right to call you a Nazi! See what I did there? The thing is, conservatives can cry free speech all they want to, that doesn’t mean that anyone has to pay attention to what you have to say. I mean comedians will tell you that. You can stand up and get in front of a room and say literally anything you want. Does that mean people will listen to you or what you have to say? No, they’re taking pictures of their food and posting them on Instagram! So what has got their underwear in a wad this week?

President Donald Trump vowed Saturday to sign an executive order requiring colleges and universities to "support free speech" in order to be eligible for federal research dollars.
"If they want our dollars, and we give it to them by the billions, they've got to allow people like Hayden and many other great young people and old people to speak," Trump said in part of his two-hour long speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference in National Harbor, Maryland.

The President did not offer any more details on the order.

Trump was referring to Hayden Williams, a conservative activist who recently made headlines after he was allegedly punched in the face at the University of California Berkeley earlier this week. The President brought Williams out as he made the announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, he took a hard punch in the face for all of us," Trump said.

Oh oh please go on!!! See, America’s colleges and universities are places of inclusion, and they don’t want your messages of hate. If you start preaching hate, you’re gonna get punched in the face, it’s a fact of life, Trump, and the sooner you face that the better. Now if you extrapolate this, let’s take a look at the incident that got Mr. Williams punched in the face:

A 28-year-old man has been arrested on a felony warrant in Berkeley after a search for the person who assaulted a conservative man on UC Berkeley’s campus, authorities said.

Zachary Greenberg was arrested Friday and was being held in Alameda County jail on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon likely to produce great bodily injury, according to the university.

Greenberg allegedly approached Hayden Williams on Feb. 19 in Sproul Plaza as Williams stood in front of a table for the conservative group Turning Point USA.

According to a viral video of the incident, Williams began filming the altercation and was shoved and punched in the face by the man authorities later identified as Greenberg.

Whoa whoa whoa… Turning Point USA is still a thing? You mean those guys who got ridiculed for wearing diapers at Kent State? Those people? Why am I not surprised? And why am I also not surprised that Trump has made this his pet cause? Well let’s expand on what was being said that led him to getting punched. Yeah I know it’s Fox News, but fuck it, I’ve got a show to do here!

Hayden Williams, 26, who was assaulted while helping recruit conservatives at U-C Berkeley, told Fox News that places of higher learning are aggressively hostile to diversity of thought.

“I can tell you firsthand, over the past few months I’ve been doing this, and this is a very disturbing trend at multiple universities across the country,” he said Monday on “The Todd Starnes Show” about the xenophobia that conservatives are experiencing on college campuses.

Two men last Tuesday approached his table at the University of California, Berkeley where the activist was recruiting members to the conservative group Turning Point USA, although he is not a member himself. An argument ensued and Williams held up his cell phone and began filming the two men who were allegedly harassing him.

One of the two men knocked over the table, police said, and then punched Williams several times, causing injuries to his face. Much of the incident was captured on a witness’ cellphone.

There really is a Simpsons GIF for everything! And you know here’s the thing – assault, even if you’re punching a Nazi, isn’t cool. And neither is this. Trump could open a huge can of worms that wasn’t meant to be open by signing this order, because guess what? Freedom of speech applies to both sides! I have a right to freedom of speech as much as you do. But Trump doesn’t care, he thinks he is only president of Fox News viewers and that’s about it. What do actual colleges think of this? Well, it could be a disaster!

President Trump's announcement of an executive order that threatens to cut off federal research money from colleges that do not support free speech has drawn criticism from different corners of academe, including proponents of campus speech, like Robert J. Zimmer, president of the University of Chicago and an avid free-speech champion.

This past weekend Trump announced his plan for the executive order at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. He presented the plan after discussing an incident in which a volunteer with the conservative group Turning Point USA, Hayden Williams, was punched in the face last month in the middle of Sproul Plaza, at the University of California at Berkeley.

In an email to the Chicago campus expressing his concern, Zimmer wrote that the executive order "would be a grave error for the short and the long run."

"I believe that any action by the executive branch that interferes with the ability of higher-education institutions to address this problem themselves is misguided and in fact sets a very problematic precedent," Zimmer wrote.

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[font size="8"]What’s Up With France?
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Oui, oui!!! Welcome, misour and madam. Because we are going to find out exactly what is going on with the riots in Paris. We are going to find out what is going on in Gay Pariee! Because the French people are not happy with their president, and are fueled by hate on social media. Oh fuck it, I cannot do a proper French accent. But I am wearing this ridiculous artist getup because we got to talk about what the fuck is up with France. So before we get into what’s going on exactly, who are the Yellow Jackets and what do they want?

President Emmanuel Macron is once again finding that the French do not respond well to reform.

Thousands of demonstrators known as "Yellow Jackets" due to their fluorescent garb descended into the streets across France over the weekend to protest planned tax hikes on gas.

In Paris, the rallies turned violent Saturday with blazes set on the world-famous Champs-Élysées avenue while masked protesters waved the French flag. Police responded to skirmishes with water cannons and tear gas. More than 100 people were arrested.


The “Yellow Jacket” activists — named after the neon vests French drivers are obliged to carry in their vehicles in the case of roadside emergencies — want Macron to call off the tax increases.

Motorists have blocked highways across the country since Nov. 17, setting up barricades and deploying conveys of slow-moving trucks.

Around 280,000 protested in the streets across the country that day, with 106,000 people attending rallies on Saturday, according to French Interior Minister Christophe Castaner.

Well that is a good question! Apparently these guys are. It started all over a tax and then somehow the original meaning of the protests got lost. But how ugly is it getting? Well it’s veering dangerously into ape territory as feces are being flung at law enforcement officials, which goes to answer the old grade school question “who flung poo?” Well these guys did!

Furious protesters threw human waste in bags at police, with up to three officers reported to have been covered in the excrement during a violent clash. Police trade union official Rudy Manna said: “Three policemen were soaked through with it. “The policemen were deeply humiliated.” He added those responsible were among 1,000 protesters and could not be identified as a result.

The incident happened on Saturday when the officers hit were attempting to shepherd protesters away from a public area in Marseille, southern France.

Local police in Marseille confirmed the disturbing claims, and added one policeman even suffered an elbow injury when hit by a “poop-filled projectile”.

Similar incidents have also been reported during Yellow Vest protests around France.

Police said on social media demonstrators have been arming themselves with “cacatovs”, Molotov cocktails but filled with caca.

Oh sure it’s all harmless fun until poop and Molotov cocktails are involved. I get the Molotov cocktails – the melee weapon of choice, but why do you have to bring poop into it? That just makes you look crazy, and that’s about it. But really this has gone on long enough, but how much worse can it get? Oh it can get a whole lot worse!

For more than three months, Yellow Vest protesters have been demonstrating against French President Emmanuel Macron’s government. For Act 16 of the protests, the Paris local government authorised a route from the Arc de Triomphe to Place Denfert-Rochereau in the south of the city.

The Facebook group “Yellow Vests Act 16: Insurrection”, meanwhile, had called on demonstrators to “go back to the movement’s roots” with the “spontaneous” approach that “scared the government” with undeclared protests at unauthorised sites in November and December.

Demonstrations were also planned in cities throughout France, including Marseille, Nice, Bordeaux, Strasbourg, Nantes and Toulouse. In the northeastern city of Lille, protest organisers called on Yellow Vests throughout the region – as well as in neighbouring countries such as Belgium and Germany – to converge on the city. “The fight is international”, said a statement on the Facebook event page for the Lille demonstrations.

According to Interior Ministry figures, 39,300 Yellow Vest protesters demonstrated nationwide on Saturday, including 4,000 in Paris. The numbers are down slightly from last Saturday, when 46,600 protesters took to the streets across France, including 5,800 in the capital. The official figures are generally disputed by the Yellow Vests.

Yeah that’s kind of about how it’s going over there in France. Although I do not want to be a downer, there is some good news in all of this. In fact these psychopaths’ protests are actually good for French President Emmanuel Macron, because, guess what? His popularity is increasing because of these protests. Say what?

PARIS (Reuters) - French President Emmanuel Macron’s popularity has recovered to levels not seen since “yellow vest” protests broke out in mid-November as support for movement wanes, a poll showed on Monday.

The share of people who consider Macron a good president rose to 32 percent this month, where his popularity was when the protests first started, the Odoxa poll showed.

His popularity has crept higher since hitting 27 percent - the lowest point so far in his presidency - in December as protesters rampaged through central Paris and other cities smashing windows and burning cars.

Macron has faced the biggest challenge to his authority from the protests, which started over the high cost of living but spread into a broader movement against the 41-year-old former investment banker and his pro-business reform drive.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And we could do this every week because there’s tons of these stories and they’re all insane. But I want to start with this story coming out of North Carolina. So… Girl Scouts, what’s up? Especially when they work in the freezing cold weather. And this guy thought he was doing a good deed by buying their whole supply of Girl Scout cookies and well, it turned out to have the opposite effect because he was wanted for multiple counts of drug possession.

A good Samaritan who bought a trove of cookies from shivering Girl Scouts on Friday evening was arrested Tuesday on federal drug charges, according to the Drug Enforcement Administration. Detric Lee McGowan was charged with conspiracy to import and distribute fentanyl, heroin and cocaine. He was also charged with racketeering and conspiracy to defraud the United States.

Tuesday's charges are unrelated to McGowan's generosity on Friday, when he bought an entire stock of cookies from Girl Scouts in front of a Greenville, South Carolina, grocery store so the girls wouldn't have to continue standing in the cold.

"Nobody was hurt. Nobody was threatened," Karen Kelly, a vice president of the local Girl Scouts chapter, said in an interview with the Greenville News. "We had no reason to believe that this man was anything other than one of our valuable customers. . . . This is now in the hands of law enforcement and of course we will cooperate with authorities."

Local media reported Tuesday evening that the DEA confirmed McGowan's arrest that day and confirmed he was the man who appeared in the viral social media photo, adding a bizarre coda to a story that was, fleetingly, feel-good.

On Friday, the 8-year-olds were behind the booth for nearly two hours when a man believed to be McGowan exited the BI-LO supermarket. He bought seven boxes of cookies and handed the girls $40, telling them to keep the change, recalled Kayla Dillard, a troop co-leader who was supervising the sale.

Yeah so maybe if you’re wanted for drug possession, maybe don’t do anything that will get you on the news. You should probably lay low and go to a safe house. Next up – we go to our favorite state of Florida because you know they always bring the crazy. And this is one of those stories “Hey how did that get up there?” Well… here’s your answer!

Wesley Dasher Scott, 40, was busted in early-January on separate warrants charging him with possessing marijuana and drugs without a prescription. While being frisked by an arresting officer, Scott denied having any illegal items hidden on (or in) his body.

However, during a subsequent strip search at the county lockup, Scott "removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them" to a jailer. But while he had fished the items from inside his body, Scott claimed the syringes “were not his.”

Seen above, Scott did not reveal who purportedly owned the needles (or where he supposedly found them). In addition to the existing drug counts, Scott was charged with introducing contraband into a correctional facility, a felony.

But prosecutors subsequently opted not to pursue the contraband charge against Scott. The brief declination notice came as Scott agreed to a plea deal on the pot and prescription drug charges. Scott was sentenced to 40 days in jail and ordered to pay $550 in fines in connection with the misdemeanor convictions.

Well that’s a pretty obvious answer to that question! Next up – creepers! And look… here’s the thing if you’re going to be a creeper, there’s no good way to talk yourself out of the situation if you get caught creeping. And if you do get caught, maybe I don’t know, don’t wear anything that’s easily identifiable, like a gorilla costume!

A man allegedly broke into a Louisiana home wearing a gorilla costume and hid under a bed before police arrested him.

The Sulphur Police Department said it got a call about a suspicious person allegedly wearing the get-up, going in and out of yards and peering into homes, according to KDFM. Police identified the man as Jeremie Moran.

When police approached Moran and told him to stop, he allegedly went through the front door of a home. Since the back door was also open, cops initially believed Moran had left the house.

After doing a search, authorities said they found Moran hiding under a mattress, dressed in a gorilla suit. He was arrested and booked on several charges, including resisting an officer, unauthorized entry and meth possession, the Associated Press reported.

It is unclear if Moran has a lawyer.


Yeah well he probably already has a lawyer. But really don’t go creeping is the takeaway that you should get from this story. And you know what else is fucked up? This isn’t the first story involving a gorilla suit this week! Because everything is funnier when a gorilla suit is involved. You got marital problems? Put on a gorilla suit. Get in trouble at work? Gorilla suit. And this. Gorilla suit.

Police in Sulphur, a city about 20 miles east of the Texas border, responded Wednesday evening to a call about a suspicious man--dressed in an all-black outfit--prowling around homes and peering into windows.

During a subsequent search of the home, cops found Moran (seen above) beneath a mattress. He was wearing a "black gorilla suit" at the time, investigators say.

Moran tussled with cops trying to handcuff him, but he was eventually subdued and placed under arrest. He was charged with multiple offenses, including unauthorized entry of an inhabited dwelling, methamphetamine possession, resisting a police officer with violence or force, and wearing a mask or hood in public.

Asked about the defendant's gorilla outfit, a police spokesperson said that "the only reason" Moran would have opted for the costume "was the possibility of the drugs he was using." Cops released the below photo showing a portion of the gorilla costume. (1 page)

Finally this week – dumb products. Yes, even products can be dumb. And what’s dumber than combining your favorite breakfast cereal with beer? This reminds me of a classic Simpsons scene from way back in the show’s 5th season. Well, when you see it, you’ll get it.

Do you love Lucky Charms so much that you would like the marshmallowy cereal taste in your beer?

Smartmouth Beer is introducing its Saturday Morning Marshmallow IPA on March 2 in an all-day event that will also showcase trivia and food vendors.

“Join us as we flashback to those Saturday Mornings when you rolled out of bed and were lazy all morning watching your favorite cartoons and playing video or board games. We’ll celebrate those mornings with the release of Saturday Morning IPA that is made with pounds of marshmallows, some of which we toasted, along with tropical fruity Calypso hops. The result is magically ridiculous,” said Smartmouth Beer in a Facebook post.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Ladies and gentlemen!!! It is time to commence the 3rd annual Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State Contest! Yes, the National For Fuck’s Sake Association is back for yet another year and another round of conservative stupidity and insanity represented from all corners of this great country that we call the United States of America. Of course the winner gets the much coveted DeLay Trophy, named after all time champion coach Tom DeLay took his home state of Texas to a whopping 8 consecutive titles and is known as the winningest ever!

[font size="6"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Welcome welcome welcome!!!! As the commissioner of the NFFSA, it is my honor to be back for a third year in a row representing this fine organization! We have the four corners of conservatism tanned, rested, and ready to go! Which of course you know by now – are god, guns, greed, and complete batshit insanity. Before we begin, I would like to thank all of our teams for putting up a great regular season and we had some of our best attendance ever. I’d also like to thank last year’s champion Florida for exerting the kind of dominance necessary to win the tournament. Now, let’s get the official business out of the way and explain the rules. For the first four rounds of the tournament, we’ll see two matchups consisting of four teams duking it out for superiority. Then the second round will focus on 8 teams vying for a position in the Final Four – 1 round each. Then we will have two matchups for the final four before heading into our championship. And since we do encourage gambling here, we will provide you with smocking guns (yes, the typo is intentional!) and statistical odds to help you build your bracket and select the winner! Let’s do this thing!

[font size="6"]The Batshit Conference [/font]

The oldest and most distinctive conference in the NFFSA, the Batshit Conference is also the largest conference consisting of a whopping 22 states. These states are all dedicated to flinging the finest guano east and west of the mighty Mississippi. These are the states that elect politicians as crazy as the people in the districts that they represent. There’s plenty of drugs and booze going around and some absolutely crazy stories that come out of these states. The states where election rigging and hanging chads are possible thanks to a voter system that simply, quite frankly, doesn’t care. The Batshit Conference: We don’t care and it shows!

1. Kentucky: Last year’s #2 seed gets upgraded to a number one seed this year! Yes, the Blue Grass State – the state responsible for giving us the two worst senators the United States has ever seen – is back. They are tanned, rested, and ready to tangle with this country’s craziest people and representatives!
Smocking Gun: That MAGA hat wearing kid from the Indigenous People’s March is planning to sue the Washington Post for $250 million! Yes, $250 million!
Odds: 2:1 – The Blue Grass State stacked their team with lots of hot young talent and they are expected to go very far!

2. Maine: The Pine Tree State, the state that gave us notorious flip flopping senator Susan Collins, was noticeably absent from last year’s tournament mainly due to the fact that they finally got rid of batshit crazy former governor Paul LePage. However, Maine, or as they’re known as Canada’s Florida, definitely isn’t out of the woods yet as they have experienced lots of political turmoil in the last couple of years!
Smocking Gun: Thanks to some serial abusers of their health care system, it is on the verge of economic collapse. Yeah.
Odds: 5:1 – They have the talent to go very far in this tournament, especially when they were underdogs the whole regular season.

3. Georgia: A newcomer to the tournament but a long time contributor to the batshit conference, this is the Peach State’s first appearance in the 3rd annual NFFSA tournament and they are looking to rumble! Atlanta may be the burgeoning Hollywood of the East Coast but that doesn’t mean that the outside areas aren’t full of meth addicted, big truck driving crazy people!
Smocking Gun: Last year’s election between Stacy Abrams and Brian Kemp is *STILL* being fought a year later!
Odds: 7:1 – They are a newcomer to the tournament and they are a very young team that got really hot at the right time. expect them to go far!

4. Texas: Yes, the champions just won’t quit! They are always the odds on favorite to win this conference, but injuries and trades have made them feel the pain in their division. Especially when they take on their division rivals Florida but now they are facing the very real possibility that they could get knocked out of the first round. Texas had better bring their A game to the tournament.
Smocking Gun: El Paso has been at the center of Trump’s border wall fight amid controversy and guess what? Trump is wrong in his claims!
Odds: 7:1 – While injuries plagued Texas during the regular season, their craziness and insanity surrounding the wall may elevate them to another level! One to watch for sure.

[font size="6"]The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference [/font]

While you’re struggling to make ends meet and your boss enjoys an extra zero on his paycheck, which already has enough zeroes on it, you’re in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. Since 1952, all of the teams in this conference have corporate sponsorships and wear them on their sleeve that way you can tell if they’re being sponsored by Koch Industries or the Walton Family. You can barely afford one car to and from work you say? Your boss owns twenty! Your watch is being held together on your wrist by an extension cord? Your boss owns 15 Rolexes! Bentleys and private jets? They got ‘em! Big money is for chumps. These guys are about the even bigger money, the tax breaks, and the economic hell that they’ve sunk us in! The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: Proudly Going For Broke since 1952!

1. Wisconsin: The home of the Green Bay Packers jumped to a number one seed this year because, they’re trying to court one of the world’s most notorious “job creators” in Chinese mega conglomerate Foxconn and are in the process of getting Art Of The Deal’d by Trump and his cohorts. Never mind that former coach Paul Ryan retired, this is going to be a far bigger disaster!
Smocking Gun: Shortly before the democrats took power, the GOP attempted a coup in the state to reduce the state’s new governor of his power.
Odds: 2: 1 - One of the odds-on favorites to win. They got hot at the right time and expect them to stay hot during the tournament.

2. Nevada: The gambling industry got a huge upgrade from their appearance in the tournament last year, and with the gambling industry comes loads of hardcore corruption and other possible faults. In fact the gambling industry was severely affected by this year’s Super Bowl and expect them to look to bounce back.
Smocking Gun: Nevada may be in the process of legalizing weed, but look out for employers who would rather new applicants fail a drug test.
Odds: 5-1: They have a lot of great young talent, but then again, look who they’re up against in this conference.

3. Alaska: A newcomer to the tournament, the oil and gas industry has been attempting to drill in Alaska’s nature preserves for decades now, while the state comes back time and time again doing their best Will Smith impression and saying “Aw, hell naw.”. But the state has even worse problems and the destruction of our environment is but a small footprint in the state’s other problems.
Smocking Gun: A mřřse wandered into a hřspital….
Odds: 7:1 – The Last Frontier could be a huge upset in the tournament, they got hot in divisional play at the right time. Expect them to go far.

4. Michigan: The Wolverine State is back! Yes, they have a new governor and yes the state is kind of slightly starting to turn around, but Michigan’s financial woes and their extreme fiscal irresponsibility continue to plague the state. They missed out last year but they are back and ready to tangle!
Smocking Gun: It’s been 3 years and no matter how much money they throw at it, Flint *STILL* does not have a functioning water system.
Odds: 2:1 – Michigan has the talent and skills necessary to own this conference and expect them to go very far.

[font size="6"]The Family Values Conference [/font]

Oh Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Children? Well, they definitely think about children way too much in this conference. It’s the conference where anti abortion values and toxic religion trump the most basic laws of sense and common decency. Sure, Jesus may be on the license plates in this conference and they’re ready to tear down the walls separating church and state. They are coming after your wombs faster than you can go after their guns. But when you’re born, you are on your own because the morals and values crowd only cares about those who are in the womb as opposed to out of it. It’s the states where Christian rock and old school fire and brimstone religion dominate the radio airwaves. And mothers and fathers should definitely lock up their daughters before they consider dating anyone. The Family Values Conference: Proudly Giving The Fetus More Rights Than You Since 1789!

1. Indiana: The home of vice president Mike Pence is also one of the country’s most religious in the Bible Belt. In fact Indiana has embraced some old school religion and has more active churches than any state in the Midwest. Of course with that kind of fire and brimstone comes all the problems associated with it like teen pregnancy and escalating hate crimes and abortion rates.
Smocking Gun: Indiana is considering a fertility law that really only affects one person who did something extremely horrible.
Odds: 5:1 – They aren’t the odds on favorite as a #1 seed but expect them to do go at least to the conference championship.

2. Mississippi: The Magnolia State *STILL* refuses to let go of the Confederacy and old school values. In fact one of their elected senators Cindy Hyde-Smith, has openly made racist and sexist jokes during speeches. And their family values credentials run deep as they have one of the highest abortion rates in the entire country.
Smocking Gun: Mississippi public schools won’t admit kids if they have a pre-existing condition such as Type 1 Diabetes. Oh won’t someone please think of the children?
Odds: 10:1 – A long shot and Mississippi’s street cred has earned them notoriety, but they still got a long way to go to prove themselves on the court!

3. Ohio: The Buckeye State loves them some old timey fire and brimstone religion and they are home to one of the highest concentrations of churches in the entire country. Ohio also has one of the highest concentrations of hospitals in the entire country. So much that there’s even hospitals that could potentially go out of business, screwing up a whole lot of patients and especially female patients!
Smocking Gun: Ohio’s new governor swore in on a stack of not one, but TEN Bibles. Wow.
Odds: 2:1 Ohio has built up an insane team to where they could possibly own the Flyover League and the entire tournament. But they do have some strong competition.

4. Alabama: The reigning champion of this conference has won the flyover league no less than 9 times. And they are stacked and ready to tangle when they go up against the big guns in this contest. Yes the state responsible for Roy Moore and Mike Huckabee is still producing some fresh young talent not seen in this conference in a long time!
Smocking Gun: Alabama is allowing Bible studies in public schools – as an elective *wink wink*.
Odds: 5:1 – The all time champions of this tournament could go very far and possibly win the Flyover League! Ones to watch for sure!

[font size="6"]The Gun Nut Conference [/font]

If you’ve got an itchy trigger finger and your paranoia about the US government coming to take your guns away is growing by the day, this is the conference for you! it’s the conference where debating between concealed carry and open carry can be considered a contact sport. You live in an area where you are surrounded by barbed wire and electric fences, and you and your neighbors are stockpiling weapons and ammo because, reasons. This isn’t mere target practice, this is a 24/7 lifestyle brand where you literally take your semi-automatic rifle on a dinner date to Chili’s, because, owning the libs. Yes, the government might be coming, but it’s not for your weapons, it’s for you. You take the words “Shall Not Be Infringed” just a little too literally and have Don’t Tread On Me flags tattooed on your sleeves. The Gun Nut Conference: Proudly Shall Not Be Infringing since 1789!

1. Florida Last year’s champions *AGAIN* ranks as the number one seed in this conference and for good reason. In the last year they elected notorious NRA A+ rated governor Rick Scott to the US Senate and elected raging racist Ron DeSantis as their new governor. In the time since Parkland, Florida’s state legislature has shown that they simply don’t give a fuck about mass murderers and their victims.
Smocking Gun: In the year that the Parkland Students have become anti-gun activists, they still don’t get recognized for their activism.
Odds: 10:1 – They may be a number one seed, but the volatility of Florida Man still remains to be seen. Will he come out fighting or do something stupid? We shall see!

2. New Mexico: Another newcomer to the tournament. The Land Of Enchantment is of course the home of notorious drug kingpin Walter White may be close to legalizing marijuana, but they are not without their fair share of problems. They’re also home to some nefarious ICE agents and border patrol militia men who can go toe to toe with some of the country’s best. Or worst.
Smocking Gun: The NRA is trying to squash what they call a “New York Style” gun control bill in the state senate. Oh the horror!
Odds: 7:1 – They got in the tournament thanks to a one-game playoff. But if they advance expect them to do some conference damage.

3. Idaho: There’s a lot of heat being packed and some open, in your face style NRA Trump lovers in the Pacific Northwest. And the further north you go of Boise, the more in your face it is. If you want guns, Idaho has a whole lot of them, and is about to make things that much worse if the NRA gets their way on school security! Not to mention Idaho is right next door to Montana and there’s plenty of paranoia and doomsday prepping abound!
Smocking Gun: Idaho could potentially make school shootings that much worse if a controversial concealed carry law passes!
Odds: 2:1 – Idaho got the number 1 pick in the draft and it showed. They had a strong showing in the regular season and got hot at the right time.

4. Oregon: Wait, Oregon is a blue state. What? Well they’re a blue-ish state in really Portland and Eugene, and that’s about it. Once you get outside of the major cities in Oregon, there’s lots of heat being packed and shooting first and asking questions later. Portland is also the home of notorious hardcore right wing militia groups like the Bundy Ranch, III%ers, and Patriot Prayer – all of which have attempted to stir up shit in downtown Portland and around the country.
Smocking Gun: Oregon is one of the first states to try a controversial gun seizure program, but is being met with some extreme protests.
Odds: 5:1 They had a strong showing in the regular season but injuries were abound, so don’t expect them to go too far, but look who they are up against.

The Bracket:

If you want to play along, here's a bracket that you can fill out for betting predictions, and you can follow along throughout the tournament:

The Schedule:

That’s it! Here’s the run down of the schedule:

Next Week:

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 1 and we’re live at the home of the ASU Sun Devils, Wells Fargo Center, in Phoenix, AZ, for the 1st round action! Kentucky brings their batshit to the tournament against Maine, while strong newcomer Idaho brings out their big guns against Oregon!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Fever 333[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a great new band from Los Angeles, you can see them on tour with Bring Me The Horizon now, and in August with Korn and Alice In Chains at the 5 Point Amphitheater in Irvine, CA on August 30th. Their latest album is called “Made An America”. Playing their song “We’re Coming In”, give it up for Fever 333!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Theater Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Bethel Church Band, Salt Lake City
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
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Research: Top 10 Research Department
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Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
The Fever 333 Appear Courtesy Of: Roadrunner Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Mar 6, 2019, 06:01 PM (1 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-8: The Thing From Uranus Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-8: The Thing From Uranus Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Book now and get triple your frequent flyer miles an double cash back points when you reserve with our new Top 10 Signature Rewards Card! We are back everybody and whew, that was quite the road trip! We had fun but it is good to be back home for a few weeks. And man did we have quite an insane week last week? It’s going to take a lot to break it all down for you. Do we have time for the thing? Good. OK so did everyone watch the Oscars this weekend? I mean yeah it was a complete mess of an award show. There were ups, there were downs. I love that Black Panther got some much needed recognition and that one of my favorite flicks of last year, Spiderman: Into The Spiderverse won Best Animated Movie. That was awesome. And then there was Billy Porter who won the red carpet this year and probably the next five years as well with his huge man gown tuxedo. And I mean really, Green Book? That was the movie you go with? That was the best picture of last year? I mean over Black Panther – one of the best superhero movies of all time and a real milestone for Marvel? Or Blackkklansman? Or A Star Is Born? Just…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I will say that this is one of the least memorable groups of Best Picture winners ever. Although everyone has their beefs with the Oscars. I’ve said mine, and it’s good to get that off my chest. I’ve been holding it in the last week. Not a shit joke, sir! OK that’s enough of the intro. But first you know what? Fuck it, I really didn’t find a talk show clip I really liked over the weekend so while on the subject of the Oscars let’s play the Honest Trailer of the Oscars which was better than that entire 5 hour presentation:

Whew, there's so much to unpack from the last week, we don't know where to begin. Well in the top slot this week, is Patriots owner Robert Kraft (1) - yes, he got arrested for soliciting prostitutes so I guess you could say that the Patriots had *TWO* happy endings this year. Hey o!!! For the second slot this week, is Christopher Hasson (2), aka the latest MAGA terrorist, and he might be one of the stupidest attempted murderers alive - really, we can't make this shit up. Taking the third slot this week is Jussie Smollet (3). No, he’s not conservative, but this whole thing with his attack just gets weirder and weirder and weirder and we will break down the most recent developments in this whole mess. In the fourth slot this week, we’ve got of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (4) and hey everyone, do you have your July 4th plans ready? Well your favorite president (sic) has made them for you! For the fifth slot this week, we have a new installment of our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, and this week, we’re going to talk some hate crimes. HATE CRIMES!!! Specifically the alarming rate at which they’re rising in the last two years. In the number 6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and Trump did something surprising and announced that his administration is going to work to decriminalize homosexuality around the world, but with Ralph Drollinger and Paula White as his spiritual advisors, our resident pastor suspects something sinister is afoot and looks to get to the bottom of the Christian right blame game. At number 7 this week, we have a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and the early reviews for Captain Marvel are in! Woo!!!! But that’s not the subject of discussion for this topic. No, we’re going to talk about the *OTHER* reviews for Captain Marvel coming from right wing trolls! And really if you’re shocked by this, you’re in the wrong place! For the 8th slot this week, we have a new installment of “How Is This Still A Thing?” and really people, haven’t you learned by now not to talk to Roseanne Barr? Because she is batshit fucking crazy and we will find out why interviewing her is still a thing. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new installment of "I Need A Drink" and we're going to get drunk and take a look at a story about an unclaimed lottery ticket in South Carolina that could be worth BILLIONS. Yes, that’s right – BILLIONS! Finally this week, sadly, folks, we must say goodbye to our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries. But not before we take one last look at the State Department! Plus we’ve got some live music from the great Cypress Hill! Yes, the world’s foremost stoner band has graced us with their presence! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Robert Kraft
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Yeah so the New England Patriots… really? You got to woo that? One of the many challenges of doing this in front of a live audience. So, the New England Patriots beat the Los Angeles Rams *AGAIN* to win their 6th Super Bowl in their 10th appearance. Say what you want about Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, but there’s another member of the Patriots squad who’s getting some really happy endings and becoming just another old sex pervert. I’m talking about their owner Robert Kraft, who got caught up in a sex scandal of his own over the weekend.

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft is facing charges of misdemeanor solicitation of prostitution after he was twice videotaped paying for a sex act at an illicit massage parlor, police in Florida said Friday.

The 77-year-old Kraft was one of 25 people involved in the alleged solicitation at the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter, Florida.

Michael Edmondson, spokesman for the state attorney's office in Palm Beach County, told ESPN that the nature of any charges that the 25 people face will not be released until next week.

The potential charges come amid a widespread crackdown on sex trafficking in Florida from Palm Beach to Orlando. Hundreds of arrest warrants have been issued in recent days as result of a six-month investigation, and more are expected. Ten spas have been closed, and several people charged with sex trafficking have been taken into custody.

You know I’m a Rams fan, and I take absolutely no delight in watching an old republican white male get busted for sex crimes, and it’s not in my nature to kick a man when he’s down. But in this case I will make an exception, damn it! Oh and by the way what was Tom Brady doing there when he got arranged? I don’t think I would want to see that.

The quarterback has his owner’s back.

Tom Brady was photographed spending quality time with — and at one point hugging — New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft Monday, just days after Kraft was charged with soliciting sex from prostitutes in Florida.

The snaps were taken on a Boston tarmac after Kraft, 77, and Brady, 41, exited the former’s private jet in from Los Angeles, where they’d been celebrating Oscars weekend, according to TMZ, who obtained the photos. Brady’s wife Gisele Bündchen was also present.

In one photo, the two walk side by side as they appear engaged in conversation, and in another, Brady leans down to pull Kraft in close for a hug.

The intimate moment echoes that of the apparent kiss the quarterback shared with Kraft after their Patriots beat the Los Angeles Rams to win the Super Bowl on Feb. 3.

Seriously, is Tom Brady in love with Robert Kraft or is he in LOVE with Robert Kraft? Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Oh and here’s where it gets weird! Because of course it is going to get weird, why not? Want to know why Robert Kraft wasn’t at the game where the Patriots won the AFC title and went to the Super Bowl? He was in Florida soliciting for sex! Even he’s been there, done that!

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft visited a Florida massage parlor for sex acts the night before and the morning of last month’s AFC Championship Game, authorities said Monday in documents charging him with two misdemeanor counts of soliciting prostitution.

Kraft is one of hundreds of men charged in recent days as part of a crackdown on prostitution allegedly occurring in massage parlors between Palm Beach and Orlando. Ten spas have been closed and several people, most of them women originally from China, have been charged with running the operation.

The 77-year-old Kraft was chauffeured to the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in a 2014 white Bentley on the evening of Jan. 19, where police say they videotaped him engaging in a sex act and then handing over an undetermined amount of cash, Jupiter, Florida, police said in charging documents released by the Palm Beach State Attorney’s Office.

Investigators said Kraft returned 17 hours later, arriving at the upper-middle class shopping center where the spa was located in a chauffeured 2015 blue Bentley, the documents said. Kraft, who is worth $6 billion, was videotaped engaging in sex acts before paying with a $100 bill and another bill, police said. He then flew to Kansas City to watch his Patriots defeat the Chiefs in overtime hours later.

Holy shit!!! Hundreds??? Is this the mass arrests that the Qanon people have been warning us about all along? Is this the real sex and human trafficking ring? Is this the Thing From Uranus? Yes, I made a poop joke there! Good night everybody! So what kind of charges is Mr. Kraft looking at? Well, he’s a billionaire so he’ll probably avoid any jail sentence… and if you’re expecting that he’ll get nothing more than a slap on the wrist, you’re probably right.

The Florida state attorney's office in Palm Beach says New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft has been charged with two counts of soliciting prostitution, days after police alleged surveillance video had caught Kraft during two visits to the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter, Fla.

State Attorney Dave Aronberg said at a news conference Monday that Kraft, a resident of Massachusetts who also has a home in Palm Beach, is among 25 people facing first-degree misdemeanor charges of soliciting another to commit prostitution.

As for potential penalties, Aronberg said the charge potentially carries a prison sentence of up to one year, along with "mandatory 100 hours of community service, a mandatory $5,000 fine, and a mandatory class on the dangers of prostitution and human trafficking."

The police investigation into the spa was aimed at stopping human trafficking, which Aronberg equated to "modern day slavery" and called an "evil in our midst."

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[font size="8"]The MAGA Terrorist
[br] [/font]

OK let’s lighten things up and talk about some terrorism. Yeah and not the kind of terrorism that you’d come to expect from Osama Bin Laden or Al’Qaeda, rather we’re going to focus on more home grown terrorism. You know think Timothy McVeigh, David Koresh and the Unabomber. That kind of home grown right-wing terrorism. So the latest one comes from where a lot of scary things come from – Baltimore, Maryland. But where did he come from? Oh and if you’re wondering why I keep referring to him as a MAGA terrorist, well, his list of targets looks very much like Trump’s enemies list, and yeah let’s keep it at that. But before we get into it, let’s probe the origin story of the latest MAGA terrorist

A U.S. Coast Guard lieutenant suspected of plotting to kill politicians and journalists as part of a terrorist attack appears to have Arizona ties.

A report from The New York Times indicates Christopher Paul Hasson graduated from Greenway High School in Phoenix in 1987 before joining the Marine Corps the following year.

A representative from the Glendale Union High School District didn't immediately respond Sunday to a request for comment from The Arizona Republic.

Hasson, 49, who worked at Coast Guard headquarters in Washington, D.C., was arrested on Feb. 15 on gun and drug charges.

Yeah so that happened. So he’s originally from Phoenix. That’s Maricopa County. Who else is from Maricopa County? Oh I know! Sherriff Joe!!! Does the embattled MAGA terrorist have ties to the guy who made prison hazing popular again? You betcha! Oh and by the way, he might be one of the single dumbest criminals alive. You don’t use official computers for personal business, never ever!

The U.S. Coast Guard lieutenant spent hours on end planning a wide-scale domestic terrorist attack, even logging in at his work computer on the job at headquarters to study the manifestos and heinous paths of mass shooters, prosecutors say. He researched how to carry out sniper attacks, they contend, and whether rifle scopes were illegal. And all the while, investigators assert, he was amassing a cache of weapons as he ruminated about attacks on politicians and journalists.

But Christopher Hasson was not an isolated figure, according to a contractor who worked with him. The 49-year-old lieutenant with more than two decades in the Coast Guard was part of a project to replace some aging cutters in the fleet, tasks that regularly required interacting with civilians and military officials at meetings and on travel.

“I don’t remember him saying anything that was crazy,” said Adam Stolzberg, a contractor who worked at headquarters and was in meetings with Hasson a couple of times a month. Politics never came up, Stolzberg said.

It was only after Hasson’s arrest last Friday at his workplace that the chilling plans prosecutors assert he was crafting became apparent, detected by an internal Coast Guard program that watches for any “insider threat.”

Yeah so his studies obviously failed. Because, the difference between Hasson and those other mass murderers? He got caught. And did so in a colossally stupid way. But it does shed some light on white supremacism in the military – something that the FBI warned us about way back in 2003. Remember that report that came out during the Bush years? Yeah so this happened. And by the way in case you’re wondering what Trump is saying about this? Well, he’s dead silent.

Former Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele on Friday condemned President Trump for declining to speak out against a Coast Guard lieutenant accused of plotting to commit an act of white nationalist terrorism.

“Why would we be surprised that a self-proclaimed nationalist would not speak out against a self-proclaimed white nationalist?” Steele asked during an appearance on MSNBC.

“Why are we acting like this is a space that Donald Trump is going to go in on behalf of the American ideal? No, he’s not,” he continued.

Steele’s comments came after Coast Guard Lt. Christopher Paul Hasson was accused by federal prosecutors of stockpiling weapons and creating a hit list of prominent journalists and left-wing politicians.

The president remarked on the news Friday, calling it a “shame.”

Yeah so Trump just pulled a Seinfeld here. But this whole thing really sheds a light on white supremacists in the United States military. Yes, there are neo Nazis and white supremacists currently active in the US military. So what the fuck is going on here? We might have to keep an eye on this subject.

House Democrats are calling upon the Departments of Defense and Homeland Security to address renewed concern over the incidence of white supremacy and other extremist affiliations among members of the military, following the recent arrest of a Coast Guard lieutenant who, according to federal prosecutors, was actively plotting deadly acts of domestic terrorism.

In a letter sent to Acting Defense Secretary Patrick Shanahan and DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on Monday, Maryland Reps. Elijah Cummings, Anthony Brown and Jamie Raskin, as well as California Rep. Jackie Speier, praised the “swift action taken by federal agencies” to arrest Christopher Hasson before he could carry out his alleged plans, but expressed concern “that an individual that espouses these views could repeatedly serve in the military across multiple services.”

According to court records, Hasson’s military career began in the Marine Corps, where he served from 1998 to approximately 1993, followed by two years of active duty with the Army National Guard. Since 2016, the 49-year-old lieutenant had been working as an acquisitions officer at the Coast Guard’s headquarters in Washington, D.C. It was from his work computer that federal prosecutors say Hasson, a self-described white nationalist who was arrested earlier this month on weapons and drug charges, studied the manifesto of the far-right Norwegian terrorist Anders Breivik and other extremist killers, and wrote of his desire to “kill almost every last person on the earth.”

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[font size="8"]Jussie Smollet
[br] [/font]

I’m sure by now that you’re probably sick of hearing about *FORMER* Empire star Jussie Smollet and the ongoing investigation into the attack that he now probably staged on himself. And he got arrested for it. And even crazier – the guys he hired are potentially the stupidest criminals of all time. Well maybe not of all time but they’re definitely hall of fame material. I mean this whole thing just gets weirder and weirder and weirder. So the question remains – did Jussie Smollet order the hit on himself to teach his bosses a lesson or didn’t he?

Dozens of private and city-owned security cameras played a critical role in helping investigators unravel “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett’s alleged hoax attack, police and prosecutors say.

Officials say investigators were suspicious of Smollett from the outset.

Officers were dispatched to investigate a brutal racist, homophobic attack on Smollett early on the morning of Jan. 29. During the attack, he said, two men threw a rope around his neck, in the manner of a noose.


That all changed after police arrested two U.S.-born brothers of Nigerian descent – Abel and Ola Osundairo – as they arrived in Chicago Feb. 13 from a two-week trip overseas.

Abel, 25, was a close friend and personal trainer of Smollett who provided the actor with the club drug Ecstasy, prosecutors say. Both brothers had worked on the set of "Empire."

Smollett was charged this week with disorderly conduct by filing a false police report.

Prosecutors say he falsely told police that the perpetrators flung racial and homophobic slurs as they pummeled him, poured a chemical substance on him, and screamed “This is MAGA Country,” a reference to President Trump’s 2016 campaign slogan.

So that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast. This whole thing is certifiably insane and it just keeps getting weirder. What started out as an innocent attack is quickly spiraling out of control and it might get even worse before it’s all over. I mean Jussie’s got some ‘splainin to do. Well at least we have the check!

ABC News has obtained the $3,500 check that was apparently written by "Empire" actor Jussie Smollett to one of the two brothers who Chicago police said helped stage an attack on Smollett last month.

ABC News reports the check's memo line reads "5 week Nutrition/Workout program (Don't Go)." Sources told ABC News Smollett was training for an upcoming music video titled "Don't Go."

The check was dated Jan. 23, six days before Smollett was accused of staging the attack. The music video was scheduled to be filmed Feb. 23, according to a calendar entry of Smollett's obtained by ABC News.

A source close to Smollett told ABC News that the $3,500 check was $600 per-week for the workout plan and $100 per-week for the nutrition plan.

ABC News has also obtained text messages between Smollett and one of the Osundairo brothers.

That seriously is a legendary fail. If someone pays you to commit a crime, maybe at least go watch a crime movie first! Because if you watch crime movies you know not to buy all your shit in one place or they’ll get suspicious! I mean even in Baby Driver they admitted that buying their masks all at once was a pretty stupid idea.

The Jussie Smollett case has not gotten any less messy—or confusing. The $3,500 check that Smollett allegedly used to pay brothers Abel and Ola Osundairo to stage a hate crime against him in January includes a memo line that reads, “5 week Nutrition/Workout program (Don’t Go).” Sources close to Smollett—who has maintained his innocence since formally being arrested for filing a false police report—say the Empire actor did not pay the brothers to attack him, but instead hired them to help him lose weight ahead of a music-video shoot. ABC News obtained a copy of the check that shows that memo line, as well as text messages between Smollett and one of the brothers regarding nutrition and exercise that seem to support that narrative.

Still, during an interview Monday with Good Morning America, Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson maintained that during their police interrogation, the brothers indicated that the check was given to them explicitly for the attack—and that police have additional evidence supporting this theory that has not been made public yet.

Smollett has consistently denied staging his attack. In their most recent statement on Smollett’s behalf following an impassioned police briefing—and Smollett’s arrest—the actor’s attorneys wrote, “Today we witnessed an organized law-enforcement spectacle that has no place in the American legal system. The presumption of innocence, a bedrock in the search for justice, was trampled upon at the expense of Mr. Smollett and notably, on the eve of a mayoral election. Mr. Smollett is a young man of impeccable character and integrity who fiercely and solemnly maintains his innocence and feels betrayed by a system that apparently wants to skip due process and proceed directly to sentencing.”

That is a good question, Mr. Harvey! And in case you’re wondering why hate crimes go unreported in this country, well, there’s that whole thing we do where we tend to blame the victims, and Mr. Smollet is one such victim in this case. Yeah… he just made it worse for literally everyone that is the victim of a hate crime.

One of the many moral panics of our time is that of “victimhood culture”. Apparently, we are too indulgent of those who can claim victim status, a state especially rife among students. The story goes that this has turned us all into eternal babies, coddling us, protecting us from “micro aggressions” and signalling an erosion of individual grit and autonomy in favour of mimsy whining.

In an effort to invert unfair power structures, some claim, victimhood culture has only succeeded in replacing them with different unfair power structures, where those who used to be at the bottom now hold the whip hand over those who used to be at the top. Women terrify men, who are forever fearful an offhand remark will become a harassment lawsuit, and racial minorities secure jobs at the expense of white people the moment their unusual names are spotted on a CV. The writer Lionel Shriver called it “privileging the disadvantaged”. Shriver also told BBC Radio 4 that white men in the UK are on the bottom rung of society, because they are considered to be the most powerful demographic (reader, I can reveal they are). Victimhood culture advocates engage in a lot of doublethink.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Who’s got July 4th plans? Yes, you know July 4th – the holiday where you fight traffic to go to your local high school’s ridiculously poorly planned fireworks show, while your idiot neighbors blow their thumbs off trying it at home. Yeah, you might have lit up the night sky and caused dogs everywhere around you to bark their heads off, and you’ll get a trip to the ER out of it! Woo!!!! ‘MERICA!!! Well if either activity isn’t in your July 4th plans, let’s let your favorite president make them for you! What’s he got planned exactly? A super patriotic Americagasm spectacular on the National Mall. Which of course is already opposite the official government sanctioned July 4th Independence Day Parade celebration in DC. I mean must he *HAVE* to ruin everything? Oh he must!

President Trump asked to Americans to "hold the date" of July 4th—a federal holiday already in most calendars—for the White House's planned "Salute to America." In a Twitter message published Sunday, the president sketched the broad outlines of his new Independence Day celebration, which sounds pretty similar to standard issue July 4th festivities.

According to CNN, the capital has its own Independence Day tradition, and there's no word yet whether the "Salute to America" would augment or replace it:

Trump has expressed his desire to create a major patriotic event for some time. After attending Paris’s Bastille Day military parade with French leader Emmanuel Macron in 2017, the U.S. President said he wanted to stage his own similar event. "To a large extent because of what I witnessed, we may do something like that on July 4 in Washington down Pennsylvania Avenue," he told Reuters at the time. "We’re actually looking into it."

The White House first attempted to mount its parade for Veteran’s Day last year, but later cancelled the event, citing high costs. "The local politicians who run Washington, D.C. (poorly) know a windfall when they see it,” wrote Trump on Twitter at the time. "When asked to give us a price for holding a great celebratory military parade, they wanted a number so ridiculously high that I cancelled it."

If the new 4th of July celebrations aren't similarly thwarted, the president may have some trouble booking entertainment, as his administration has struggled to find popular musicians willing to associate themselves with the Trump White House. Entertainers like Elton John, Andrea Bocelli, and 2 Chainz passed on the chance to perform at Trump's inauguration, an event that finally mustered a tepid billing featuring 3 Doors Down, Toby Keith, and Tony Orlando.

WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Aint no party like a Donald Trump party because a Donald Trump party don’t stop! Oh wait, that sounds *EXACTLY* like literally every July 4th celebration ever. I mean come on, Obama could get Bruce Springsteen *AND* U2 to play his events! Trump could barely get a Z-grade Bruce Springsteen cover band. So what’s he got in store?

In line with Donald Trump’s ridiculous habit of taking credit for everyone else’s efforts, he is now claiming ownership of Fourth of July celebrations that are held every year in the nation’s capital (and across the country, of course).

“HOLD THE DATE!” Trump yelled on Twitter Sunday morning. “We will be having one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C., on July 4th. It will be called ‘A Salute To America’ and will be held at the Lincoln Memorial. Major fireworks display, entertainment and an address by your favorite President, me!”

In addition to exaggerating his relevance overall to the human species, what Trump did here is to stake a claim to a national holiday by seeking to turn it into another hate-filled, political lie-fest, otherwise known as a MAGA rally funded by taxpayers. It’s also a way to inflate his crowd size. Such a grifter.

Whiny Trump didn’t get his $92 million boondoggle of a military parade, so apparently, he had to think of another way to pay homage to himself before he winds up in jail. He probably stole the idea from one of his dictatorial idols, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, whom Trump is scheduled to meet with this week in Vietnam. Maybe Trump will invite “little Rocket Man” to the party.

Hold the date? Seriously Trump’s never got a “Save The Date” card in the mail? He can’t even get that right! So how’s he going to throw this most patriotic Americagasm orgy of all patriotic displays? And has he really thought this through? Oh who am I kidding! Of course he hasn’t. I mean there’s all kinds of operating costs associated with an event like this.

It’s about four months away, but President Donald Trump has some pretty big plans for the Fourth of July in the District this summer. He announced on Sunday that he’s hosting a July 4th celebration at the Lincoln Memorial.

However, Mayor Muriel Bowser told FOX 5 Monday that not only have D.C. officials not heard from the White House, there is also already planning underway for the city’s traditional July 4th celebration. There’s a parade down Constitution Avenue, the annual “Capitol Fourth” concert at the U.S. Capitol and the fireworks over The Mall.

Sunday, the President tweeted: “We will be having one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C., on July 4th. It will be called ‘A Salute to America’ and will be held at the Lincoln Memorial.” He also said he’d make an address during the celebration.

But Bowser made it clear — she has concerns about planning, costs and security.

“Planning for that to make sure that all the participants are safe down on The Mall is not something that you can wing, it has to be planned and planned well, and moving the President during that could be a very considerable undertaking for our MPD, which would pull them off the already large crowds that we have,” said Bowser.

I love that movie! So yeah he obviously didn’t think this through and will need to do some extensive planning which is great because Washington DC will be using most of its’ resources to cover the other main July 4th attraction! Ha ha!!! Maybe Blackwater and the III%ers are available? Although this is why I love Twitter because there were some hilarious responses to Trump’s madness:

People on Twitter had a blast Sunday coming up with images for President Donald Trump’s planned “one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C.” at the Lincoln Memorial this year to mark Independence Day.

Visions ranged from chilling images of the kind of military event that might occur in Moscow to old photos of the 1970 “Honor America” Independence Day celebration on the National Mall organized by wealthy supporters of Richard Nixon. The 1970 event was aimed at shoring up support for Nixon amid antiwar protests and the fatal shooting that year of four Kent State University students by the Ohio National Guard.

The event instead blossomed into a free-for-all involving furious neo-Nazis and other conservatives and a “smoke-in” by antiwar hippies. (“Before this is over, I may need some of that stuff myself,” quipped master of ceremonies Bob Hope.) Nixon was not on the scene.

Trump on Sunday urged Americans to “HOLD THE DATE” of July 4 for a “Salute To America” celebration featuring a speech by “your favorite President, me!”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

There’s no mistake that since the 2016 election that saw America take an absolutely hard right turn that hate crimes have been reported in alarming numbers, not just in the United States, but all over the world. What’s to blame for this? Many people blame social media for the rise in what’s fueling this worrisome trend. But just how bad are things? It’s not just in America this is happening but in countries like Poland, Hungary, France, England, Turkey, the Philippines, and Russia, where arguably this can all be traced back to. But just how bad have things got in the world of hate? Well there’s a lot.

One video showed a 51-year-old Jewish man being beaten to the ground by three young men, who seemed to select him at random. Another showed an Orthodox Jewish man being chased across the street by a man wielding a tree branch. A third showed an Orthodox Jewish man hanging on to a fence as an assailant jumped and choked him.

The three incidents, all of which took place in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, in the past year, have raised alarms in the neighborhood and in the city’s large Orthodox Jewish community as a whole. Hate crimes are up citywide, but in Crown Heights, they have taken a particularly violent turn.

There were 55 hate crimes reported in New York City this year as of Feb. 17, an increase of 72 percent over the same period last year, the police said. Anti-Semitic crimes made up almost two-thirds of that, for a total of 36 crimes reported so far this year, compared with 21 last year.

The steep rise comes after a year when hate crimes were already increasing. Anti-Semitic crimes in 2018 were up 22 percent compared with 2017.

And that’s just in New York alone. What about the rest of the country? It’s getting very scary out there, as you can already see. While the Jussie Smollett hate crime is FUBAR, there’s no mistake that it shed light on just how many hate crimes go unreported. And why is that? Well there’s many reasons why hate crimes go unreported.

A Minnesota legislator said Wednesday that he would introduce a proposal to toughen the penalty for falsely reporting hate crimes, citing a high-profile reported attack on a gay black actor in Chicago that was recently called into question.

Rep. Nick Zerwas, R-Elk River, described the measure, expected later this session, as "a reasonable step to help deter individuals from filing false police reports and to make sure that we devote law enforcement's limited resources to investigating and prosecuting legitimate bias-motivated crimes."

Zerwas said he was motivated to bring the issue forward after recent reports that police believed "Empire" actor Jussie Smollett may have staged a January attack by two masked men shouting racial and anti-gay slurs. Smollett has denied that claim through his lawyers.

In recent days, Zerwas has written about the case in multiple posts on Twitter, describing it as part of a "recent rise in fake victimization" and a symptom of media bias.

Is it any surprise that a republican is leading the charge to stiffen penalties on reporting false hate crimes? We’re shocked, but not that shocked. Because hate crimes almost always tend to be caused by conservatives. And who are they targeting? We’ve seen time and time again that the LGBT community and Jewish synagogues and cemeteries are targets. But what else?

For the fourth year in a row, the Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil rights organization that tracks hate groups, reports that hate and domestic extremism are rising in an unabated trend. The center found a 30 percent increase in U.S. hate groups over the past four years and a 7 percent increase in hate groups in 2018 alone, according to the center's annual "Year in Hate and Extremism" report. The group designated 1,020 organizations as hate groups in 2018, a high of at least 20 years.

The watchdog group blames President Trump, his administration, right-wing media outlets and the ease of spreading hate on social media platforms for the alarming increase. The growth, it says, is largely driven by "hysteria over losing a white-majority nation to demographic change."

"The numbers tell a striking story — that this president is not simply a polarizing figure but a radicalizing one," Heidi Beirich, director of the SPLC's Intelligence Project, said in a statement. "Rather than trying to tamp down hate, as presidents of both parties have done, President Trump elevates it — with both his rhetoric and his policies. In doing so, he's given people across America the go-ahead to to act on their worst instincts."

The Southern Poverty Law Center is a revered civil rights watchdog group that has been around since 1971. It is credited with dealing the final blows to the Ku Klux Klan through legal battles.

Yes, haters gonna hate. So… shake it off. But before you do that, you should realize just how many hate groups operate in the United States and they get away with it. And when you live in a divided nation in a world that’s becoming increasingly divided on social media. Or you could say that it’s because of an alarming increase in an increasingly far right conservative presence around the globe. But whatever it is, we currently live in troubled times, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

The number of hate groups in the United States rose for the fourth year in a row in 2018, pushed to a record high by a toxic combination of political polarization, anti-immigrant sentiment and technologies that help spread propaganda online, the Southern Poverty Law Center said Wednesday.

The law center said the number of hate groups rose by 7 percent last year to 1,020, a 30 percent jump from 2014. That broadly echoes other worrying developments, including a 30 percent increase in the number of hate crimes reported to the F.B.I. from 2015 through 2017 and a surge of right-wing violence that the Anti-Defamation League said had killed at least 50 people in 2018.

“We’re seeing a lot of bad trends,” Heidi Beirich, the director of the intelligence project at the Southern Poverty Law Center, said in an interview on Wednesday. “There are more hate groups, more hate crimes and more domestic terrorism in that same vein. It is a troubling set of circumstances.”

Ms. Beirich said the increase in extremist activity tracked by her team began in earnest in the early days of the 2016 presidential election, when anxieties over immigration helped propel President Trump to the White House. Before that, she said, the number of hate groups had fallen for three straight years.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]

Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, is somehow trying to make things right by going against the religion that sees him as some sort of higher power, even though we all know damn well that he isn’t! Now… in case you’re wondering what I am referring to, exactly, is that the Dark One’s administration plans to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. Yes, he is going against his own, supposed, religion. But… only thing is he doesn’t even really know about it!

US President Donald Trump seemed unaware of his own administration's plans to end the criminalization of homosexuality around the world when asked about it on Wednesday.

Following reports that the Trump administration will launch a global campaign to end the criminalization of homosexuality, a reporter asked Trump in the Oval Office: "Mr. President, on your push to decriminalize homosexuality, are you doing that? And why?"

Trump asked the reporter to repeat the question, and then said: "I don't know which report you're talking about. We have many reports."

NBC News r eported on Tuesday that the Trump White House would campaign for a change in laws in dozens of countries where it is illegal to be gay, citing administration officials.

The campaign is aimed in part at denouncing Iran's human rights record, NBC News said.

Richard Grenell, the US ambassador to Germany, who is openly gay, plans to lead the campaign and discussed the effort with a dozen LGBTQ activists from around Europe at a dinner in Berlin on Tuesday night, The New York Times reported.

Yes… WTF indeed! I mean they could have just given Iran the finger and it would have been much easier, and not have demonized an entire people at that! For the good book says “Cast a light unto others that you would have cast unto yourself!”. Yeah it does say that, sir! Now of course our brothers and sisters on the Christian right have steered the wrong course. I mean really, they can’t possibly get any crazier can they?

Right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau posted a video on his Facebook page last night in which he prayed against the Trump administration’s plan to launch a global effort aimed at decriminalizing homosexuality, saying that the United States has no right to impose “our craziness” on other nations.

Wallnau blamed the plan on a “State Department Trump swamp bureaucracy,” saying that decriminalizing homosexuality “is not the most important agenda” because white evangelical Christians wearing MAGA hats are actually the real targets of discrimination and hate crimes in America.

“You want to hear the truth?” he said. “Gays are celebrated everywhere, from ‘Hamilton’ on Broadway to the Tony Awards to the Academy Awards. There is no group that is more lifted up and celebrated and promoted than the LGBT movement. It’s the opposite of persecution. You want to know persecution is? Be a white evangelical conservative and … put a MAGA hat on; you might as well put a cross on and go to Saudi Arabia.”

“I pray that the State Department’s progress with their LGBT agenda—their zeal for the gay agenda and their politics—and the State Department’s funding, break that in Jesus’ name,” Wallnau added. “We have no right to impose on other nations our craziness in terms of our cultural definition of liberty. We don’t have a right to mess with other countries’ sovereignty and their religious beliefs. Oh my God, in Jesus’ name, I would like America to be saved, but for America to be saved, it’s got to not be an evil influence in the world.”

See? Even JAYSUS thinks your fail is unbelievable! And by the way if you think this is targeting all countries, you’re wrong! In fact it’s targeting just one country and it’s meant to be an insult, because that’s just how he rolls! Well, they could have said “fuck you” and got it over with, but then again that’s not how he rolls!

For a brief moment during the past week, it looked like the Trump administration may have actually done something good. In a surprise move, Trump’s ambassador to Germany Richard Grenell announced that he was leading an initiative to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. About 70 countries have laws on the books that make being LGBTQ or having same-sex sexual relations illegal.

The idea sounds as great as it is out of character. It’s also never going to happen. Here are five reasons why the proposed policy initiative is dead in the water before it even starts.

It’s only about Iran. Tellingly, Grenell bolstered his argument for the plan by citing Iran.

“Barbaric public executions are all too common in a country where consensual homosexual relationships are criminalized and punishable by flogging and death,” Grenell wrote in an op-ed. Trump and the right are fixated on Iran and will use every available means to attack it. Attacking Iran is also plays well with Israel’s right-wing government.

But what about other Muslim nations? The administration’s beloved Saudia Arabia regularly arrests people for being gay or even flying a rainbow flag. Or Chechnya, which is under the thumb of Trump’s buddy Putin, and where gay men live in fear of their lives?

Well now the good LAWRD JAYSUS sees right through his lies, and LYING IS A SIN!!! It is one of the most egregious of sins in our church!!! Can I get an amen???? And in case you’re wondering if their motives couldn’t be any more sinister, just look at what the Dark One’s son, Dark One Jr, said after he found out about the news:

President Trump's eldest son took aim at Out Magazine on Wednesday after an op-ed in the magazine slammed the Trump administration's push to decriminalize homosexuality around the world as a "racist" distraction.

In a tweet, Donald Trump Jr. wrote that no matter what his father's administration pursued, his critics would always "find a way to somehow make it bad."

"Yup, no matter what he does they find a way to somehow make it bad. You can’t make this stuff up anymore," he wrote.

The tweet came in response to an op-ed by Out writer Matthew Rodriguez, who wrote that the administration's announcement this week that it would seek to decriminalize homosexuality in countries around the world was a "racist tactic."

Rodriguez wrote that "rather than actually being about helping queer people around the world, the campaign looks more like another instance of the right using queer people as a pawn to amass power and enact its own agenda."

The author uses as an example of his argument the push to center the decriminalization efforts on Iran, a country president Trump has often verbally attacked.

So you can’t make up that a racist motive isn’t racist? I mean Dark One, Jr, for shame!!! And if you think it’s not a racist problem, well, then you’re also a racist! There you go. Mass has ended, may you go in peace!!! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Captain Marvel
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Hey everyone, guess what? Early reviews for Captain Marvel are in! Woooooooooo!!! And the reviews for the movie are glowing. I particularly loved the one reviewer who said that “Thanos is fucked”. But those aren’t the reviews that we’re going to talk about here. No, instead we’re going to talk about the *OTHER* reviews for Captain Marvel. Only these reviews are coming from right wing losers who haven’t seen the movie yet. Yes, the same dipshits who took down Ghostbusters and Star Wars Episode VIII because they’re racist and sexist losers who have nothing better to do than troll, they are coming for the latest Marvel superhero. Yes, nothing is safe from these keyboard warriors! And can anyone guess why? OOH!!! OOH!!! I think I know the answer!

In depressingly – and bafflingly – predictable fashion, trolls are already flooding sites like Rotten Tomatoes with fake reviews for forthcoming MCU feature Captain Marvel.

The movie, which hinges on a pivotal female hero (played by Brie Larson) in the Marvel Cinematic Universe – not to mention one that’s going to be key to Avengers: Endgame – it’s now subject to misogynist trolling in the same vein as that seen for movies like the all-female Ghostbusters reboot.

So far, there are 8,617 (at the time of writing) ‘user ratings’ for the movie, astonishing for a film that hasn’t been released yet, and only seen by a small pool of critics as of last night.

Though some are fighting back, the majority of the ‘ratings’ come with tediously transparent remarks about the film’s so-called ‘agenda’, which has clearly upset more than a few chaps who are finding their masculinity in jeopardy.

Remember the good old days when people used to go to movies and I don’t know, enjoy them? Well guess what? Those days are long gone! Because of these people who have to ruin it for everybody else, and they’re not going away any time soon! In fact, think of this as Troll Hard 2: Troll Harder. Well the sad thing is their brand of trolling, actually kind of works. But this time around, we’re onto them!

If you’ve been keeping up with “Captain Marvel” news the past couple of days, you might’ve read some headlines claiming trolls are already “bombing” the Brie Larson movie’s Rotten Tomatoes score and “flooding” the film’s page with sexist comments.

Since the news hit, it appears several (around 15 or so) of those trolling comments have been removed, according to screenshots HuffPost took on Tuesday. But there might be an entirely new onslaught of people now downvoting the film.

It’s dizzying. It’s exhausting. And, yes, it’s all happening pre-release. So with time on our hands before the movie debuts on March 8, we decided to take a look at what’s really going on.

HuffPost first noticed the troll attacks on “Captain Marvel” earlier this week thanks to stories from a few fandom blogs and Screen Rant, which pointed out, “Most of the trolls’ comments are about Larson being a vocal feminist and how this movie pushes feminism to the forefront of the [Marvel Cinematic Universe].”

Yes, so trollers gonna troll. And you know what? We fall for it every single time because they know how to hit us and how to hit us where it hurts! in fact their brand of trolling works so well because it’s designed to. They know our weaknesses – racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, and all the other fears and phobias that make us human. And they exploit them!

As Disney and Marvel Studios gear up for the March 8 release of Captain Marvel, the first female-led solo film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, some fans aren't celebrating but are instead attempting to poison the well, and presumably damage its opening-weekend box office. Trolls are bombing Captain Marvel's Rotten Tomatoes entry with negative reviews intended to sabotage its audience score.

It's important to note that no public screenings have been held for the film.

Most of the negative comments littering Captain Marvel's audience review section of the aggregator site aren't so much concerned with the film as with its star, Academy Award winner Brie Larson. Left by predominately male users, the remarks are primarily focused on what they claim are her "racist and sexist" views.

The outrage, such that it is, stems from a recent interview in which Larson called for inclusivity after she noticed that journalists attending press events and reviewing films were "overwhelmingly white male."

But have no fear, Marvel fans! Rotten Tomatoes is here! Yes, the review site that compiles critical reviews and gives them an overall score is getting tough on review trolling this time around. Yes, they may have got away with it for Ghostbusters, and the Last Jedi, because those were both terrible movies, but they’re not getting away with it for Captain Marvel! No sir!

Rotten Tomatoes is fighting back against trolls.

The powerful movie review aggregation website announced Monday it would ban user comments before a film premieres in theaters. The move is in part a bid to crack down on what it called "non-constructive input, sometimes bordering on trolling, which we believe is a disservice to our general readership." The service is also tweaking the system it uses to poll moviegoers about their interest in upcoming releases.

The move comes after some users apparently tried to torpedo the moviegoer interest percentage score for the not-yet-released "Captain Marvel," Marvel Studio's first female-led superhero movie. Rotten Tomatoes' webpage for the film, starring Brie Larson in the title role, had been swamped with negative comments, some of them misogynistic.

"Captain Marvel," slated to debut March 8 and expected to open with some $100 million in ticket sales, was just the latest high-profile movie to come under attack by trolls. In recent years, a crush of users tried to sink audience scores for Marvel's "Black Panther," "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" and the female-led "Ghostbusters" reboot, deluging the site with comments that were sometimes racist or sexist.

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
[br] [/font]

It’s time once again to ask:

This week: TV shows who insist on interviewing Roseanne Barr. How is this still a thing? You know just like we think Twitter should have an “are you sure?” button before pressing send, we really need to have an intervention on reporters who still insist on interviewing the former TV star who has well, struggled to grasp reality. While we can’t fault Roseanne for that, we can certainly fault her for whatever batshit crazy thing is about to come out of her mouth. And this week, she certainly did not disappoint in the slightest.

Roseanne Barr is at it again. The actress/comedienne who lost her job and her hit ABC show after her racist Twitter rant against Valerie Jarrett just took some shots at Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and it looks like some folks will never learn to keep their mouths shut.

Over the weekend, Barr posted a video to YouTube calling AOC a “bug-eyed bi*ch” and a “Farrakhan loving bi*ch” over her proposed Green New Deal; a plan intended to “achieve net-zero greenhouse gas emissions and create economic prosperity for all.”

This isn’t the first time Roseanne Barr has made offensive statements against women who deserve respect.

In deranged new video, Roseanne Barr says of Valerie Jarrett, ‘I thought the bitch was white’

Back in May, Roseanne Barr was abruptly fired from her own show after she tweeted racist remarks about former Barack Obama adviser, Valerie Jarrett.

“muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj,” Barr tweeted in response to a post about Jarrett.

ABC quickly fired her once they caught wind of the offensive tweets.


Now really, Roseanne. Did you learn anything? Apparently not. And now this gets even weirder with former confidant and the voice of Sideshow Bob himself, Kelsey Grammar, who not even 3 days before, called for Roseanne to be forgiven. Now really, Kelsey, what did you expect?

“Frasier” actor Kelsey Grammer said over the weekend that he thinks that “people should be forgiven” in regards to Roseanne Barr’s departure from her eponymous show last year.

Grammer said he was encouraged by the success of the reboot of “Roseanne,” adding that a reboot of “Frasier” is in the works, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Last year, Barr was fired by ABC after she made a joke about Valerie Jarrett, who worked s an adviser to former President Obama.

After cries of racism, Barr’s show was canceled. ABC Entertainment President Channing Dungey said her comments were “abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values.”

“I have no idea. I think people should be forgiven for their sins. Our life is so challenging. How do you ever make amends?” Grammer said of the incident.

And really, you really had to go there? When you interview Roseanne you are almost guaranteed anymore that she will say something batshit crazy. Because Roseanne suffers from a condition where the rectum recycles matter that goes straight to the cranial cavity. And you probably know this disease better as “shit for brains”. Well, her reasons for being fired are almost as crazy as the reason why she was fired in the first place.

Roseanne Barr, who offered a plethora of reasons why she was fired from her hit rebooted sitcom following a racist tweet last year, told The Jerusalem Post that "antisemitism" at ABC and her support for Israel helped do her in.

In an interview published Friday in the Jerusalem-based English-language newspaper ahead of her visit to address Israel's parliament, Barr expanded on one of the multiple theories she's offered to explain why she was kicked off her revived show, "Roseanne," last summer.

"I feel that what happened to me, a large part of it is antisemitism," Barr told the Post in a phone interview on Thursday from her home in Hawaii. "I think it played a part – the fact that I was never allowed to explain what I meant – and what I meant was a commentary on Iran – so they purposely mischaracterized what I said and wouldn't let me explain."

She said ABC acted in haste and did something "unprecedented that they've never done to any other artist" because she is "the most vocal person about Israel and (against) BDS," the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement to pressure Israel over its treatment of Palestinians.

Anti-semitism is to blame? Really, are you Walter Sobchak from the Big Lebowski, Roseanne? Look, we support free speech here, nobody is going to come and take your free speech rights away. But after one crazy thing after another, we really need a sanity check before you go out in public and start saying crazy shit. Because she said this about Natalie Portman in January.

The comedian also said in an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom that John Goodman should have "fought harder" for her.

Roseanne Barr criticized Natalie Portman and defended Kevin Hart ahead of her visit to Israel.

In an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom, the comedian took on Portman, who last April outraged many upon declining to take part in an award ceremony as the recipient of the Genesis Prize Laureate, explaining she "did not want to appear as endorsing Benjamin Netanyahu, who was to be giving a speech at the ceremony."

"It was really sickening, I find her repulsive," said Barr of Portman in the interview. "She was raised in incredible privilege of safety in the Jewish state and knows nothing about anti-Semitism."

Portman was born in Jerusalem and moved to the U.S. with her parents at the age of 3.

Added Barr, "She's the darling of the left here, the Jewish left in Hollywood, she is a complete hypocrite who grew up in safety and privilege, like I said before, and knows nothing about what she speaks of."

You’re going to attack Natalie Portman for being Jewish when you’re trying to claim anti-semitism is the reason why you got fired? That is what one might call “hypocrisy”. That’s enough to make you ask – interviewing Roseanne:

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font]

Whew, Roseanne is crazy. I need a drink!

So of course you know by now that the idea behind this is that we cocktail, and while we’re cocktailing, we get drunk and discuss literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t involve politics. And what involves politics less than the lottery? No, not like that, sir. Ah, don’t you love it when someone in the audience is making wise cracks at your expense? So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a story about the lottery? A glass of Dom Perignon rose? What are you trying to make me go broke? Ah fuck it, I’ll just have a glass of Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. So let’s go to South Carolina for this story.

Nearly everyone in this small South Carolina town has a theory for the city’s billion-dollar mystery: Who won the $1.5 billion Mega Millions jackpot announced last October?

Maybe the winner was so overwhelmed upon seeing the winning numbers that she or he died on the spot? Maybe the winner is on the run from police and fears a background check? Maybe that winning ticket fell from a car visor, ended up in a trash can and is forever buried at the Twin Chimneys Landfill. Or maybe, the winner is still going on with life as usual, before quietly taking the $878 million lump sum.

With less than two months to go, the clock is ticking. Whoever won the second largest lottery in U.S. history has until 5 p.m. on April 19 to walk into the South Carolina Lottery office in Columbia with the signed ticket and claim the jackpot.

The winning ticket was sold at the KC Mart in Simpsonville sometime between Oct. 20 and the drawing at 11 p.m. on Oct. 23. Store employee Jee Patel said State Law Enforcement Division agents were waiting in the parking lot when workers came to open at 6 a.m. the next day.

Yeah it’s kind of like that. So somewhere there’s an unclaimed lottery ticket that’s worth $1.5 BILLION dollars. Yes, it’s the kind of money that would make even Dr. Evil blush. So why is it such a mystery? Is it because of the size of the jackpot? Is it because we don’t know about the winner or haven’t even heard so much as a peep from them? Is it because they live in a small town where everyone knows each other? Or something else?

Four months after South Carolina's first Mega Millions jackpot win, the staggering $1.5 billion prize remains unclaimed.

That leaves two months until the six-month deadline to cash in the winning lottery ticket — and more time to speculate on what's taking the person so long to collect their winnings.

The winning ticket for the Oct. 23 drawing was sold at Simpsonville's KC Mart #7, and signs in the store window proclaim, "We sold a Mega Millions ticket worth ... $1.5 billion."

Still, mystery surrounds the unclaimed jackpot as the convenience store and state officials wait for the winner to come forward.

"It wasn't me," Ray Black said with a laugh as he checked the numbers on a lottery ticket recently at the KC Mart #7.

So, like the Muse song, time is running out. And the rules state that if you don’t claim your ticket soon, your jackpot is toast. And hey you know we could all use some money. But it also affects the winning state big time, and let’s face it - $1.5 billion is a *HUGE* chunk of change. I mean shit, it’s more than I have under my mattress! Which means that if you don’t come forward, your state is a huge loser, too!

The winner of a $1.54 billion lottery jackpot in South Carolina has yet to come forward. That means the state of South Carolina might be a big loser too.

Economic officials on Thursday removed the estimated $61 million windfall the winner was expected to pay in state income taxes from tax and other estimates.

That extra money had been included as the governor and lawmakers prepared their spending priorities at the beginning of the year. An extra $61 million could buy new voting machines for the entire state, give a nearly 2 percent raise to all South Carolina teachers or put a police officer in every public school in the state. It is about 0.5 percent of the money lawmakers have control over in the state budget.

One winning ticket in the Oct. 23 Mega Millions drawing was sold at the KC Mart convenience store in Simpsonville, a suburb of Greenville. The winner has 180 days to come forward and claim the $1.54 billion prize paid over 30 years, or a $878 million lump sum.

So that one ticket alone can throw off the entire state’s budget for an entire year while its’ fate hangs in the balance. If you live in Greenville, SC, better check all your tickets because you could be this very person!

Nearly everyone in this small South Carolina town has a theory for the city's billion-dollar mystery: Who won the $1.5 billion Mega Millions jackpot announced last October?

Maybe the winner was so overwhelmed upon seeing the winning numbers that she or he died on the spot? Maybe the winner is on the run from police and fears a background check? Maybe that winning ticket fell from a car visor, ended up in a trash can and is forever buried at the Twin Chimneys Landfill. Or maybe, the winner is still going on with life as usual, before quietly taking the $878 million lump sum.

With less than two months to go, the clock is ticking. Whoever won the second largest lottery in U.S. history has until 5 p.m. on April 19 to walk into the South Carolina Lottery office in Columbia with the signed ticket and claim the jackpot.

The winning ticket was sold at the KC Mart in Simpsonville sometime between Oct. 20 and the drawing at 11 p.m. on Oct. 23. Store employee Jee Patel said State Law Enforcement Division agents were waiting in the parking lot when workers came to open at 6 a.m. the next day.

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 2: The United States State Department
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It’s time for the very last and final edition of Deep State Diaries. It’s time to say goodbye, everyone, it’s been fun. We toured everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The United States State Department[/font]

So for our very last and final edition of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, we are going to tour one of the US government’s oldest and most prominent institutions – the United States State Department. The USSD is an institution as old as the United States itself. Yes, it’s the branch of the US government that was formerly headed by Rex Tillerson and is currently headed by guy who makes torture great again, Mike Pompeo. The USSD is similar to a ministry of foreign affairs in that it helps shape international and also domestic policies that define the United States. So what are some things that the USSD actually does? Well we all know how bad Huawei is, and we think Europe might be finally getting the message that you shouldn’t do business with the embattled cell phone manufacturer.

European governments are proving receptive to the idea that China’s Huawei poses security risks to telecoms networks, a senior U.S. cyber official said on Tuesday.

“We are highlighting inherent risks... in particular with Huawei,” Robert L. Strayer, the U.S. State Department’s ambassador for cyber and international communications told reporters at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona.

Strayer said people in Europe were getting the message, but: “At the end of the day, each government and operator has to make its own decisions.”

A U.S. delegation is attending the wireless trade fair to persuade Europeans to follow the U.S. lead in shunning Huawei, the world’s biggest maker of telecoms equipment, which is competing for next-generation 5G mobile network contracts. (Reporting by Jack Stubbs and Isla Binnie Writing by Georgina Prodhan Editing by Keith Weir)

Well hopefully they won’t have to come to that. Another thing that the US department does is they issue travel warnings. Yes, they tell the citizens of the US that maybe they shouldn’t go to certain countries because reasons. Like maybe don’t go to the Bahamas right now because if you haven’t noticed the Gulf Of Mexico has these things called hurricanes, and they’ve been quite active lately.

The United States State Department issued another travel warning for the Bahamas today.

The U.S. State Department reissued a “Level 2: Exercise Increased Caution Due to Crime” for the Bahamas, stating:

“Violent crime, such as burglaries, armed robberies, and sexual assault, is common, even during the day and in tourist areas. Although the family islands are not crime-free, the vast majority of crime occurs on New Providence and Grand Bahama islands . . . Activities involving commercial recreational watercraft, including water tours, are not consistently regulated. Watercraft are often not maintained, and many companies do not have safety certifications to operate in The Bahamas. Jet-ski operators have been known to commit sexual assaults against tourists . . .”

There were three travel warnings issued by the U.S. last year for the Bahamas, by the U.S. Overseas Security Advisory Council (OSAC) in the Bahamas 2018 Crime & Safety Report, the U.S. State Department, and the U.S. Embassy in Nassau as well as one warning by Canada.

Another thing that the US State Department does is that they determine what the United States can and cannot import and export. Remember how James Bond’s cover was that he was an importer – exporter of good? Even though it’s never implied what, exactly. But that’s really the job of the US State Department.

The US continues to pursue a zero-tolerance policy for its Iran oil sanctions and is urging importers to eliminate all purchases from the Middle East country, Francis Fannon, assistant secretary at the US State Department’s Bureau of Energy Resources, said Monday during a visit to Japan.

“The US policy is to drive Iranian exports to zero,” Fannon said during a media briefing in Tokyo. “That policy has not changed. We are unwavering in our policy.”

Fannon was asked whether Washington would consider extending Iran sanctions waivers when they expire in May, given falling supplies from Saudi Arabia as a result of the production cut agreement by OPEC and allies, and the ongoing crisis in sanctions-hit Venezuela.

He said it was premature to say whether the State Department would grant new waivers in May to the eight countries that were allowed to continue importing Iranian oil in return for promising to significantly cut their dependence on the supplies.

And in case you can’t guess, under the Trump administration, the US state department has become well, less than flattering. So much in fact that nobody wants to work for a horrible boss like Mike Pompeo, or even worse – his boss, Donald J. Trump. Yes, the guy who we currently call president has made it completely miserable for anyone involved with the government. And well, it’s going to be a revolving door for the foreseeable future.

The number of Americans seeking a career in the U.S. diplomatic corps has declined in the first two years of the Trump administration, reaching the lowest level since 2008, according to State Department numbers obtained exclusively by NBC News.

Although President Donald Trump's unpredictable, go-it-alone foreign policy has caused apprehension among some prospective applicants, and led some senior diplomats to resign, the cause of the drop remains unclear.

But coupled with budget pressures and a survey showing declining morale at the State Department, veterans of the diplomatic corps worry that the long-term health of the institution charged with safeguarding America's interests abroad could be at risk if current trends continue.

The competitive process to join the ranks of U.S. diplomats starts with the Foreign Service Officer Test, a demanding exam given three times a year. Between October 2017 and October 2018, only 8,685 people chose to take the test, a 22 percent decline compared to the same period a year earlier, according to the State Department's numbers.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A+
How Things Are Going: C-
Likely hood To Survive: B

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

There is no next week! This is it, we are done. Thanks for taking us down the government wormhole everybody, and see you on the other side!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Cypress Hill[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is America’s foremost premiere stoner band. Their latest album is called “Elephants On Acid”. You can see them on tour through March and April including a stop March 23rd at the Wiltern. Playing their song “Band Of Gypsies”, give it up for the one, the only Cypress Hill!

See you next week for Stupidest State Selection Sunday!


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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Feb 27, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-7: In Soviet America Wall Does You! Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-7: In Soviet America Wall Does You Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! 15 minutes with us can save you $300 or more on your car insurance! What’s up Ontario? Yeah we’re hanging out in the 909! This is our last road show for a while and then we’re going back to our home at the UCB in Los Angeles, but this road trip has been really great and we can’t wait to get back out soon. Do we have time for the thing? OK people, have we learned nothing from Pizzagate? Which is don’t get your bullshit conspiracies mixed up in my pizza, damn it! So what am I talking about you might ask? Well, I answer you, good sir / madam. There’s a new video on Youtube alleging that Chuck E Cheese, the pizza equivalent of Spirit Airlines, recycles its’ pizza for new customers. Yes, the video alleges that the place where a kid can be a kid takes the slices that you didn’t eat and puts them back on the trays for new customers. Which actually – I shit you not – prompted the parent company of Chuck E Cheese to post their own video of their pizza being made fresh out of the oven. Now you might say that that’s what you get for going to Chuck E Cheese, and normally I would agree with you. However that’s also addressed in the original video and the response from the Chuck E Cheese management. People stop it, just plain stop it. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first we have John Oliver is back (finally!!) and he goes into all possible Brexit scenarios for Brexit III: With A Vengeance!

Well, so Trump declared himself judge, jury, and executioner in his own Fox News manufactured crisis, because he believes that he is only president of Fox News viewers. So in the number one slot is the Stable Genius (1) himself, or Mar-A-LardAss as he was referred to on Twitter and his fake national emergency which he then left us with the mess, while he enjoyed some “executive time” (read: golf). Yeah. Taking the second slot this week is the GOP (2) and why they hate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ proposed Green New Deal, and why she’s making conservative heads explode (hint: the Kochs handed them nice big paychecks). In the third slot this week, we’re bringing back a long dormant and old fan favorite feature – the Top 10 Mystery Machine! Yes, we were all horrified by the MAGA attack on Empire star Jussie Smollet, but it turns out that he’s got some ‘splainin to do, and wait until you see the crazy plot twist! In the 4th slot this week – we’ve got a new installment of “We’re All Gonna Die”. While Californians are prepared for the inevitable “Big One”, an even bigger one looks to kill us all! Storms, that is! So yeah we’re all gonna die. But we still got our guns right? Ha! In the number 5 seed, is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and we’re going to take a look at why California decide to axe a controversial plan to bring high speed rail between San Francisco and Los Angeles. At number 6 this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week our resident pastor is going to find out whether or not GAWD wants another 4 more years of the Dark One serving in power or not. We hope not! For the #7 slot this week, and conservatives, rather than trying to be cool and hip with the young people, be lame and own your lameness! Taking the #8 slot this week is a new edition of “This Fucking Guy” and this week we’re going to profile end times Christian conservative firebrand preacher Jesse Lee Peterson (8) and whew, this guy is certifiably nuts. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is the return of one of our favorite segments, People Are Dumb (9) and there’s been some really stupid people since the last time we had this segment! Finally folks, unfortunately, our series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries is coming to an end. Now don’t be sad! We have one more, then we begin our 3rd annual Stupidest State Contest! So for our next to last DSD, we’re going to see how the government handles disasters (current one not withstanding!) as we hang out with FEMA! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Mar-A-Lardass
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Hey everyone it’s a national emergency! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Or is it? So unless you’re hiding under a rock by now you know that Trump declared himself literally above the law when he signed a national emergency to declare a border wall. You know what before we get into the meat of the story, we got to play the clip of the speech, because it really is Trump at his most exquisite:

Two things – first why wasn’t the Guinness Book Of World Records at the Rose Garden on Saturday because I think Donald J. Trump gets the award for the world’s longest run on sentence. And second do the wall? Do the wall? That makes it sound like a 70’s disco dance! Everybody do the wall now! Oh and in Soviet America, wall does you! Yes, I have been waiting 5 days for that Yakov Smirnov reference. So what is going on exactly?

President Donald Trump will declare a national emergency to speed up funding for his proposed wall on the U.S.-Mexican border, but experts said the move would create a legal morass that could take until the middle of next year to resolve.

The White House announced Thursday that Trump will make the move that he'd suggested for weeks. The announcement came as Congress readied legislation that would devote $1.375 billion to the border wall, far less than the $5.7 billion Trump demanded.

Declaring an emergency would let Trump sidestep Democratic opposition to more wall funding, but it could draw legal challenges from lawmakers and others who viewed the move as a power grab. Although that could delay construction of his border barriers, an extended legal battle would give Trump a potent political issue to run on in the 2020 presidential election.

"Everyone’s going to come out of the woodwork," said Stephen Vladeck, a University of Texas-Austin law professor who teaches national security law. "I think we’re going to see an array of lawsuits that actually would all have to be dealt with separately."

Seriously anyone remember when the wall was going to cost $50 billion? Then it was going to cost $25 billion. Then it was going to cost $5 billion. Now it’s going to cost $1.325 billion. Mexico probably could pay for it at this point! So President Trump, you just declared a national emergency! What are you going to do now? “I’m going to Mar-A-Shithole!”.

Donald Trump headed to his private golf club in West Palm Beach, Florida, for the second day in a row today (Sunday, Feb. 17).

The presidential motorcade arrived at the Trump International Golf Club at 9:12am EST, the White House press pool reported. On Saturday (Feb. 16), Trump arrived at the club at 8:42am, the press pool reported, and left at 2:56pm.

After he left Saturday, the president held a meeting with his China trade delegation at Mar-a-Lago, another private club, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement. “Ambassador Lighthizer, Secretary Ross, Mick Mulvaney, and Peter Navarro will join the President in person at Mar-a-Lago and Secretary Mnuchin, Pat Cipilone, Larry Kudlow, Kevin Hassett, Derek Lyons and Clete Willems will join by phone,” she said.

Today marks Trump’s 171th day visiting a golf course since he became president on Jan. 21, 2017, according to Golf Net News. The president declared a national emergency in the Rose Garden on Feb. 15, after Congress failed to approve the amount of money he wanted in a recent spending bill to build a wall on the US’s southern border. Trump hopes to take $6 billion from the Pentagon to build over 200 miles of wall on the border, but the acting Secretary of Defense said this weekend that any budget decision was the Pentagon’s to make.

You know what? Fuck the meme, lets’ just show the photo:

So many weird things about this. I mean what’s that weird stripe on Trump’s face? Did he run out of bronzer? Or did he use a Bronzer-By-Numbers kit and just applied the wrong shade? And second who wore it better – Trump or the wall behind him? My money is on the wall behind him. And by the way is it weird when Ann Coulter is on our side? I mean I’ve spent the last 3 years calling Trump an idiot on an almost weekly basis and now Coulter is in on it!

President Donald Trump's announcement Friday that he was declaring a national emergency wasn't received well by all Republicans, none more vocal than Ann Coulter.

The conservative commentator had for weeks been bashing Trump for what she said was him caving to Democrats over his demands for additional funding to construct a wall along the southern border, even calling him the "biggest wimp ever to serve as President of the United States".

On Friday, the bickering made its way into a nationally televised news conference where Trump announced his plans to use executive powers to declare a national emergency to free up billions in funds for the proposed wall.

"Ann Coulter. I don't know her. I hardly know her. I haven't spoken to her in way over a year but the press loves saying Ann Coulter, probably if I did speak to her, she would be very nice," Trump said, adding that she is "off the reservation."

YES YOU DID!!!! Ann Coulter has *LITERALLY* spoken at your rallies, President Lard Ass! And by the way you know the phrase “I’ll see you in court” will absolutely apply here because Trump is going to face a lot of legal challenges in the forthcoming weeks. So get ready Trump, you will be having to answer for all of this insanity:

A coalition of 16 states, including California and New York, on Monday challenged President Trump in court over his plan to use emergency powers to spend billions of dollars on his border wall.

The lawsuit is part of a constitutional confrontation that Mr. Trump set off on Friday when he declared that he would spend billions of dollars more on border barriers than Congress had granted him. The clash raises questions over congressional control of spending, the scope of emergency powers granted to the president, and how far the courts are willing to go to settle such a dispute.

The suit, filed in Federal District Court in San Francisco, argues that the president does not have the power to divert funds for constructing a wall along the Mexican border because it is Congress that controls spending.

Xavier Becerra, the attorney general of California, said in an interview that the president himself had undercut his argument that there was an emergency on the border.

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[font size="8"]Green New Deal
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If there’s one liberal currently that conservatives *LOVE* to hate, it’s New York’s freshman representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Is it because she’s Latina? Is it because she’s a woman? Is it because she’s from New York? Is it because she cares about the environment and the people? Or is it all of the above? Oh who am I kidding? The answer is easily all of the above! But her proposed “Green New Deal” has them talking and not in a good way. I wonder if it’s because the Koch Brothers handed them a large sack of money to talk trash about it? Or something else?

Democrats are bristling over a GOP effort to pit senators against the party's newly resurgent progressive base.

Republicans, fresh off a border funding fight they are widely viewed as having lost, are eager to pivot to offense as they hunt for 2020 fodder, when several Senate Democrats will be running for president.

Republicans say Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is mulling a series of votes to try to jam Democratic senators, whom he has repeatedly tried to paint as pushed off center by the “radical left.” His first step this week was fast-tracking the "Green New Deal" resolution by putting it on the Senate calendar.

But top Democrats are brushing off the potential political fallout of McConnell’s tactics, comparing them to a “political stunt.”

Sen. Dick Durbin (Ill.), the No. 2 Senate Democrat, said Republicans were using a routine maneuver because it “amuses some small-minded senators.”

Oh yeah it’s just par for the course. Mr. Senator, if I may guess what senators those were? I’m thinking McConnell and Lindsay Graham. I’m correct? Woohoo!!! And we’re not even doing the Wheel Of Corruption this week! Oh and by the way in case you’re wondering whether or not republicans couldn’t possibly be any more childish, one representative in Kentucky is trying to prove it wrong with a whoopee cushion! Yes, the worst environmental problems can now be solved with fart jokes!

Kentucky’s Republican agriculture commissioner is giving away a green whoopee cushion to highlight his opposition to the “Green New Deal” pushed by Democrats in Congress.

Ryan Quarles is running for a second term as Kentucky’s commissioner of agriculture in 2019. Last week, his campaign announced it would hold a contest to give away a green whoopee cushion to draw attention to what he says are the anti-agriculture messages pushed by Democrats.

The “Green New Deal” pushed by some Democrats in Congress is a plan to combat climate change. An early draft of a FAQ about the plan mentioned getting rid of “farting cows.” A spokesman for U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said the quip was meant to be ironic.

Uh… farting cows? Did you not see that episode of South Park? If we all hold it in, we all spontaneously combust! I mean it’s just science! And by the way Mitch McConnell is such a worthless piece of shit that you can’t get him to vote on anything or do anything meangingful, but he’s forcing a vote on this because he knows it will fail. What a jackass!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday that the Senate would vote on the Green New Deal introduced last week by Sen. Edward Markey, D-Mass., and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y.

"I've noted with great interest the Green New Deal, and we're going to be voting on that in the Senate to give everybody an opportunity to go on record," McConnell told reporters.

The proposal, which is not expected to pass the Republican-dominated upper chamber, could force some Democrats to make a politically awkward calculation.

Democratic liberals, including all of the senators currently running for president, have come out in support of the legislation, which calls for generating 100 percent of the nation's power from renewable sources within 10 years. Scientists have said dramatic, immediate action is necessary to stem the catastrophic effects of climate change.

Democratic moderates have been less than enthusiastic about the proposal. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi derisively referred to the House version of the resolution as a "green dream," while only 11 of the 47 senators who caucus with the Democrats have signed on as sponsors.

I swear that there’s a Simpsons GIF for everything! But in case you’re wondering whether or not there’s a rhyme or reason for Mitch McConnell’s madness, well you are absolutely correct because he’s forcing this vote because he knows the democrats will lose on this issue and that it will make them look like losers. Um… fuck you Mitch!

The Green New Deal, unveiled by New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Massachusetts Sen. Ed Markey, will not resonate with American voters, longtime Democrat Barney Frank told CNBC on Tuesday.

The proposal, which calls for generating 100 percent of the nation's power from renewable sources within 10 years, is emerging as a major campaign issue, with all the Democratic senators running for president in 2020 pledging their support and President Donald Trump and Republicans blasting it.

"I think the Green New Deal would be loser," said Frank, the former Massachusetts congressman who retired in 2013 after more than three decades on Capitol Hill. "There's an argument that you don't destabilize a society by doing too much change at once."

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[font size="8"]Jussie Smollet Attack: Latest
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So why are we bringing back the Top 10 Mystery Machine? It’s been long dormant (last appearance was Top 10 #39 ) but we need to bring it back because we were all horrified by the MAGA attack on Empire star Jussie Smollett as he was dining at a Subway after his flight got into Chicago at 2:00 AM. But as the layers keep unfolding on this story, the more it’s like peeling back an onion – the more it stinks and the more likely you are to cry as a result. So how did this thing get so twisted? Let’s find out what is going on with the latest.

Two brothers told police that "Empire" actor Jussie Smollett staged an attack on himself because he was upset a threatening letter he received a week prior did not get enough attention, a law enforcement official briefed on the investigation told ABC News on Monday.

Detectives are actively investigating the allegation, but have not confirmed it to be true, the official said.

Chicago police said this weekend that they are "eager" to re-interview Smollett after releasing the two brothers, who were initially identified as persons of interest in the alleged Jan. 29 attack in Chicago's Streeterville neighborhood. A spokeswoman for Smollett said his attorneys are talking to police.

The brothers, who are not considered suspects in the attack, also told police that they were paid to stage the attack, the official said.

"We are not racist. We are not homophobic and we are not anti-Trump. We were born and raised in Chicago and are American citizens," the brothers said in a statement.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. So you mean to tell me that Jussie staged his own attack and paid the guys to attack him? And first of all, how is Jussie the only person on earth to actually scam Nigerian people? Let's let that one sink in for a minute! He’s got some ‘splainin to do! In fact the Chicago Police even want to question his own actions on this whole thing. Just what the hell is going on????

Chicago police said Sunday they’re still seeking a follow-up interview with Jussie Smollett after receiving new information that “shifted” their investigation of a reported attack on the “Empire” actor.

The trajectory of the investigation “shifted” after detectives questioned two brothers about the attack and released them late Friday without charges, police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said Saturday. He said police also reached out to Smollett’s attorney to request another interview with him.

Guglielmi said Sunday the interview had not yet been conducted. He declined to comment on published reports that police believe Smollett staged the assault or that a grand jury may hear evidence in the case. The reports cited unnamed police sources.

“We’re not confirming, denying or commenting on anything until we can talk to him and we can corroborate some information that we’ve gotten,” he said.

Smollett, who is black and gay, has said he was physically attacked last month by two masked men shouting racial and anti-gay slurs and “This is MAGA country!” He said they looped a rope around his neck before running away as he was returning home from an early morning stop at a Subway restaurant in downtown Chicago. He said they also poured some kind of chemical on him.

Now you might be asking how are celebrity fans and supporters of Mr. Smollett dealing with this most insane of plot twists? Now this is something that nobody saw coming even though it involved two guys wearing MAGA hats (and really if you’re surprised by that angle, you are in the wrong place!), well the celebrity action was a bit surprising but not really.

Trevor Noah brought up recent developments into the investigation of January's attack on actor Jussie Smollett on his nightly program Monday.

As of Sunday, Chicago police were pursuing "additional detective work" amid suspicion that the attack may have been faked. Two brothers told investigators they were paid by the "Empire" actor to stage the attack, according to a person familiar with the situation but not authorized to speak publicly.

"You have to admit, there's a certain part of the story that was always a little weird," Noah told his "Daily Show" viewers.

"Like, who are the MAGA supporters who hate gay people, who hate black people, but also happen to watch ‘Empire?’ ” Noah asked. In Smollett's account of the attack on "Good Morning America," Thursday he told Robin Roberts his attackers yelled "Empire" to get his attention and used racists and homophobic slurs.

"I've heard of hate-watching, but that (expletive) would be next level," Noah said. "It’s like a member of the Klan buying tickets to 'Fiddler on the Roof.' "

Yes, Mr. Smollett’s got a lot of ‘splainin to do involving his attack. But why do that when this is 2019 and you can just pass the blame onto someone else? I mean come on, blaming the media? That’s something that Trump would do! And he would have got away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!

As questions mount over Jussie Smollett's report to police last month that he was the victim of a racist and homophobic attack, two of the actor's siblings have taken aim at the media.

As questions mount over Jussie Smollett's report to police last month that he was the victim of a racist and homophobic attack, two of the actor's siblings have taken aim at the media.

"I have a feeling even if we had video of Jussie (Smollett) being attacked...y'all would still discredit him," the tweet read. "Because it's easier to believe what aligns with your contempt for survivors of hate crimes, sexual abuse, etc who happen to be LGBTQ+, disabled, or women."

Two law enforcement sources with knowledge of the investigation have told CNN that Chicago police believe Smollett paid two men to orchestrate the alleged assault.

In a statement from his attorneys issued Saturday, Smollett denied playing a role in the attack.
"As a victim of a hate crime who has cooperated with the police investigation, Jussie Smollett is angered and devastated by recent reports that the perpetrators are individuals he is familiar with," the statement said. "He has now been further victimized by claims attributed to these alleged perpetrators that Jussie played a role in his own attack. Nothing is further from the truth and anyone claiming otherwise is lying."

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die! Yeah the sooner we accept that, the better. If you’re not from California, allow me to school you in on a little state secret – we’re all gonna die. Yes, I know that I already said that! Thank you sir! And the way that everybody is going to die, at least what we were all told when we were kids - the worst thing we had to worry about showing up in our schools wasn’t a nutcase with a semi automatic rifle. No sir. It was supposed to be an earthquake measuring 9.5 on the richter scale. The proverbial “big one” as its’ called. Hey kids, I really hope everyone is having a great day today! Now we all have to hide under our desks in case a giant earthquake that could kill us all comes along! Ah, those were the days! And I mean come on have you not seen Spiderman: Homecoming? If a building falls on you, hiding under a desk isn't going to do shit! Well now there’s another big one that is headed its’ way. Yeah that’s what she said.

One of the most potent storms of the winter will continue to trigger flooding rain, mudslides, heavy mountain snow, strong winds and difficult to dangerous travel in California and much of the West this weekend.

Rain and mountain snow will spread inland through Saturday. Areas of rain and snow may persist not only on Sunday but into next week as well.

The amount of rain from the storm is more than enough to cause flash and urban flooding problems and trigger mudslides and rock slides. The mudslide risk will be greatest in, but not limited to, recent burn scar locations.

Evacuations in burn scar areas may be necessary. Several evacuation warnings have already been issued.

"Several inches of rain will fall on the west- and south-facing slopes of the coastal mountains and foothills and lower elevations of the Sierra Nevada this weekend," according to AccuWeather Senior Meteorologist Brett Anderson.

An AccuWeather Local StormMax™ of 8 inches of rain is forecast through Saturday night with some additional rain likely into early next week.

Oh calm down! We’re not gonna die just yet!!! So just how bad could this mega storm get? You know Houston has hurricanes, Kansas has tornadoes, California, we do storms and natural disasters way better! We’ve got torrential rains, mudslides, fires and possible earthquakes to worry about!

Scientists call it California’s “other big one,” and they say it could cause three times as much damage as a major earthquake ripping along the San Andreas Fault.

Although it might sound absurd to those who still recall five years of withering drought and mandatory water restrictions, researchers and engineers warn that California may be due for rain of biblical proportions — or what experts call an ARkStorm.

This rare mega-storm — which some say is rendered all the more inevitable due to climate change — would last for weeks and send more than 1.5 million people fleeing as floodwaters inundated cities and formed lakes in the Central Valley and Mojave Desert, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. Officials estimate the structural and economic damage from an ARkStorm (for Atmospheric River 1,000) would amount to more than $725 billion statewide.

In heavily populated areas of the Los Angeles Basin, epic runoff from the San Gabriel Mountains could rapidly overwhelm a flood control dam on the San Gabriel river and unleash floodwaters from Pico Rivera to Long Beach, says a recent analysis by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

Hey! Haven’t you kids ever seen a storm that could kill a whole lot of us? Yes I’m channeling my inner Stan Lee on this one. And you know what? While my state has been busy preparing for “The Big One” we’re certainly underprepared for what’s going to come when the great storm hits.

Scientists call it California’s “other big one,” and they say it could cause three times as much damage as a major earthquake ripping along the San Andreas Fault.

Although it might sound absurd to those who still recall five years of withering drought and mandatory water restrictions, researchers and engineers warn that California may be due for rain of biblical proportions — or what experts call an ARkStorm.

This rare mega-storm — which some say is rendered all the more inevitable due to climate change — would last for weeks and send more than 1.5 million people fleeing as floodwaters inundated cities and formed lakes in the Central Valley and Mojave Desert, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. Officials estimate the structural and economic damage from an ARkStorm (for Atmospheric River 1,000) would amount to more than $725 billion statewide.

In heavily populated areas of the Los Angeles Basin, epic runoff from the San Gabriel Mountains could rapidly overwhelm a flood control dam on the San Gabriel river and unleash floodwaters from Pico Rivera to Long Beach, says a recent analysis by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

No we’re still not gonna die! At least not yet. But this thing could have the potential to be a million times worse than a polar vortex and an even worse trail of devastation than the proverbial “big one”. Although at least on the flipside, California is finally getting some much needed water! Which will help with that “poor forest management” that President LardAss is accusing us of!

There’s still more than a week left in February, but already California has received about 18 trillion gallons of water thanks to a series of storms this month, according to the National Weather Service.

That’s enough water to fill 27 million Olympic-sized pools, forecasters said. The amount of water is also nearly half the total volume of Lake Tahoe.

Los Angeles has gotten its fair share of the rain as well, receiving more than 4 inches between Feb. 1 and this past Saturday, according to the weather service.

Those totals are likely to increase this week, too, with more showers forecast to drench Southern California from Wednesday night into Thursday.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: CA’s Literal Train Wreck
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Hey! It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

One of the keys to California’s strong economy is a solid infrastructure. We have easy access to air travel and sea travel. And our freeway system is one of the best in the entire country and the entire world. So what’s missing? A European style high speed rail network. And one of the cornerstones of the new California administration was to help usher in a high speed rail network that would connect Los Angeles, the Central Valley, and San Francisco. But recently California Governor Gavin Newsom cancelled the project, prompting criticism and protest from around the state and around the country. What went wrong? We will find out.

Even before California’s High Speed Rail bond proposal appeared on the ballot in November 2008, the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association commissioned a study in conjunction with the Reason Foundation because of deep concerns about the project’s viability. The study, published in September 2008, just prior to the election, confirmed our worst fears. Specifically, the executive summary of the nearly 200-page document warned:

“The CHSRA plans as currently proposed are likely to have very little relationship to what would eventually be built due to questionable ridership projections and cost assumptions, overly optimistic projections of ridership diversion from other modes of transport, insufficient attention to potential speed restrictions and safety issues and discounting of potential community or political opposition. Further, the system’s environmental benefits have been grossly exaggerated, especially with respect to reduction of greenhouse gas emissions that have been associated with climate change.”

In the ensuing decade, it became increasingly clear that every negative prediction about the project came to be realized. Even initial advocates of the project, including a former chairman of the High Speed Rail Authority, turned against the costly boondoggle.

The capstone of criticism came at the end of 2018 when California’s own state auditor issued a scathing report excoriating the project’s mismanagement, waste and lack of transparency. To understand just how damning the HSR audit was, just consider the subtitle: “Flawed Decision Making and Poor Contract Management Have Contributed to Billions in Cost Overruns and Delays in the System’s Construction.”

So some extremely poor business decisions lead to the cancellation of California’s ambitious high speed rail project. Now before you go playing the blame game, let’s not blame the governor or the democratic party for this mess. In fact there’s several contributing factors that led to this getting cancelled.

On U.S. railroads, it’s been a week of emotional whiplash.

Just days ago, an outline of the much-anticipated Green New Deal— a proposal from Democratic lawmakers to dramatically cut U.S. carbon emissions—described the country’s need for high-speed rail network to help replace short-haul flights with lower-emission trips. Commentators on both sides of the aisle ridiculed the idea as politically impossible, even as environmental and transit advocates staunchly defended it.

Then, on Tuesday, California Governor Gavin Newsom tossed cold water on the state’s high-speed rail project, which represents a rare beacon of progress on next-generation train service in the U.S. In his first State of the State address, Newsom announced plans to scale back the scheme to link San Francisco to Los Angeles with a passenger train that could connect those cities in under three hours. Instead, only a much shorter, first phase of construction would be completed, putting 110 miles of improved rail service between the Central Valley cities of Merced and Bakersfield, with Fresno in the midst. That’s a huge step back from a 700-mile route connecting coastal population centers.

OK now it’s kind of like that. But there is a silver lining in an otherwise flawed plan. Think of it like the plot of Superman III if the bad guy had actually been able to get away with his money laundering scheme. But while this plan was flawed to begin with, that means that it could potentially come back in a big way for not only California but the entire US.

Despite delivering what some interpreted as a death knell, California Governor Gavin Newsom has confirmed—and re-confirmed—that a comprehensive high-speed rail system is still happening in the state.

But one part of Newsom’s original statement wasn’t open to nuance: This high-speed rail project has serious problems.

“The project, as currently planned, would cost too much and take too long,” Newsom said at his State of the State address. “There’s been too little oversight and not enough transparency.”

California’s rail campaign is a cautionary tale to be sure. A ballot measure was passed in 2008, setting up a bond measure intended to funnel $10 billion to the $38 billion project, which was estimated to finish in 2029. Yet, due to a politically fraught, lawsuit-plagued battle to determine the train’s route, over a decade later, construction costs have ballooned. Now there’s not enough money coming in to finance the project’s completion—especially as rail funding became limited nationwide after the 2009 economic stimulus.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation!! What are our brothers and sisters on the far right trying to tell us? Do we really need another four more years of the wretched, unholy, ungodly DARK ONE in the presence of the highest house in the land??? I mean from the very first DAY they have been somehow convinced that the Dark One is GAWD and JAYSUS combined into one person. But we all know that he isn’t! In fact he is the most egregious sinner of all – a man who lives the life of decadence and luxury that these people otherwise claim to despise.

The annual anachronism known as the National Prayer Breakfast attracted its usual array of clergy, military, and political leaders in Washington on 7 February. Most prominent of all, of course, was Donald Trump, who used the de facto pulpit to call for outlawing abortion, among other positions dear to the Religious Right.

Yet the presidential comment that most typified all that has gone morally haywire with the supposedly moral majority came when Trump praised the “abolition of civil rights”. You can consider that statement an innocent, if embarrassing, misreading of the Teleprompter. Or you can hear it as a Freudian slip.

As inspired by the Reverend Billy Graham and originated by President Dwight Eisenhower in 1953, the National Prayer Breakfast served two consensual, almost anodyne purposes. It epitomized the moderate, mid-century civil religion that preached that an American was a better citizen for believing in God and going, at least occasionally, to church or synagogue. And amid the Cold War, American leaders insistently portrayed their nation’s collective faith confronting what was routinely called “godless Communism”.

In fact, the greatest application of religion in the public square during the 1950s and 1960s occurred in pursuit of a liberal goal: civil rights. Like the abolitionists of the 19th century, civil rights leaders such as the Reverend Dr Martin Luther King Jr wielded the Bible and its concept of all humanity being formed in the divine image as an argument for racial equality.

Well we hope it doesn’t come to that. But then this guy had to go and make a bad situation worse, which is what he usually does. You know, the guy who we currently call president had to go and rub salt in the wound of high speed rail advocates:

President Donald Trump hit back Tuesday at California’s latest lawsuit against his administration in his trademark way — through Twitter.

In two tweets early Tuesday morning, Trump criticized California and the other 15 states filing suit, calling them the “mostly ... Open Border Democrats and the Radical Left.” He said California “seems in charge” and implied state officials had no room to criticize him on wall spending due to the billions spent on the California High Speed Rail Project.

“The failed Fast Train project in California, where the cost overruns are becoming world record setting, is hundreds of times more expensive than the desperately needed Wall!” Trump said.

The lawsuit, which California Attorney General Xavier Becerra announced on Friday, was filed in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California Monday evening. Trump announced Friday that he is declaring a national emergency to divert funds from military construction projects to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border after Congress did not budget the amount he wanted.

California’s lawsuit, its 46th against the Trump administration, argues that border crossings are at historic lows and that Trump overstepped his power by trying to redirect money that Congress denied him in its most recent budget agreement.

Yes, that’s not how any of this works, damn it! Oh you know we are allowed to swear in my church because I do believe that it is our GAWD given right! Can I get an amen???? And do we really need another 4 more years of Q anon? Remember this nonsense? Even the people who it attracted are the ones who are now apologizing that they doubted it!

On Saturday, radical right-wing commentator and rabid conspiracy theorist Sheila Zilinsky issued an abject apology on her podcast for ever having doubted QAnon.

Last month, Zilinsky appeared on “The Hagmann Report,” where she declared that she was no longer a believer in the QAnon conspiracy theory, which posits that Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election is really a cover for a plan by President Trump to take down a massive global pedophile ring.

Zilinsky said that while she was once “really onboard with the Q thing,” she was no longer convinced that it was legitimate since the long-promised wave of mass arrests never seems to actually occur.

“Let’s cut the crap,” she said. “Until there’s some people in jail, I’m not a Q fan anymore. I’m just kind of giving up the whole thing, unless I see something happen real quick. I just really don’t want to go down that rabbit trail anymore.”

I mean Qanon, Pizzagate, are we certain that we want another 4 more years of this? I know that I definitely don’t! Especially since the forces of AYVIL have descended upon the White House in the form of the unholy Dark One, whose name I dare not speak, are the ones who are saying that the other side is AYVIL!!! Yes, AYVIL!!!! THE DEVIL IS INSIDE US!!!! Well… maybe.

Right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein posted a video today in which he proclaimed that the Democratic Party should be declared a terrorist organization and disbanded.

“They are Islamic compliant,” he said. “They are Marxist/Leninist/Stalinist/Maoist, if you will, in their ideology. They support terrorism. They are anti-Israel. They support open borders, which means that they’re fine with having Americans be killed by illegal aliens. They are for taxing you to death. They are for controlling every aspect of your life.”

“I think, at this point, based on their platform, based on their advanced leftist ideology, that the Democratic Party should be dissolved, they should be banned from all elections,” Bernstein continued. “They’re pro-death. They’re demonic … and to be quite frank, they should be labeled as a terrorist organization, just like ISIS, just like al Qaeda, just like Hamas, just like Hezbollah, just like Antifa, just like white supremacist groups.”

“They are a terrorist organization right now and they are literally terrorizing this country,” he added. “They are killing infants. They are murdering people and getting away with it legally, they’re passing more and more laws to do this. These people are evil.”

Yes, I am complete!!! Ha ha! You didn’t really think I was the devil did you? No? Well I mislead you, just like the Dark One misleads his followers! There you go, mass has ended, may you go in peace!! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Nike Protests
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Hey conservatives, guess what? You’re not cool. You’re lame! And if you want people to take you seriously, it’s way past time that you own your lameness. In fact don’t even try to be cool or hip. Because as we’ve seen time and time again, any time a conservative tries to be cool by showing us that they can use social media, or that they are into what the kids are into, it backfires on them big time. And don’t even try to mix politics and your business, because then things like this happen. Yes, of course I’m talking about the guy in Colorado who brought politics into his sporting goods store business and then it backfired on him big time and now, well, who’s the loser now?

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (CBS4) – A sporting goods store owner in Colorado Springs decided to close up shop months after he started boycotting Nike products. In September, Stephen Martin, owner of Prime Time Sports, took issue with a Nike advertisement featuring Colin Kaepernick.

The former NFL quarterback started kneeling during the National Anthem before football games in 2016, sparking a movement among other NFL players, including Broncos linebacker Brandon Marshall.

That in turn sparked large outcry from thousands like Martin.

In 2018, Nike chose to feature Kaepernick in one of its ads.

Martin then decided to sell all of his Nike product at highly-discounted prices, despite him acknowledging Nike merchandise makes up 40-50 percent of the store’s inventory.

Fast forward five months.

“Being a sports store and not having Nike jerseys is kind of like being a milk store without milk or a gas station without gas. They have a virtual monopoly on jerseys. There is no other option,” Martin told the CBS affiliate in Colorado Springs, KKTV.

Well, I guess that’s why you don’t mix business and politics. And next time, maybe shut the fuck up about it? So that’s one way conservatives can own their lameness – don’t take a stand. You know what else they should do? Maybe, I don’t know, before you tweet out a video, maybe check the political status of the artist before hand?

Rock band R.E.M probably couldn’t predict their early ’90s hit song “Everybody Hurts” would be put to political use in 2019. When it was, they were not happy about it.

The episode began on Friday afternoon, when President Trump retweeted a video meme. The clip, created by Trump-supporting meme-maker Carpe Donktum, showed Democratic lawmakers like Senators Bernie Sanders and Kamala Harris looking stoic during the President’s State of the Union address. The video was set to R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts.”

R.E.M. was immediately critical about Trump’s use of their song to taunt his political opponents. The band’s official Twitter account tweeted its displeasure on Friday night, referencing the song “World Leader Pretend.”

“Congress, media–ghost this faker!!! Love, R.E.M.” the band tweeted.

So Trump attempted to show that he was cool and hip by tweeting out an egregious copyright violation, and replaced REM’s song “Everybody Hurts” with Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The USA”. As if that couldn’t possibly get any lamer, guess what? The video was created by an Infowars troll who won a contest and has a ridiculous name at that.

The clip, which runs more than two minutes in length, plays audio from R.E.M.'s early-'90s hit single "Everybody Hurts" over excerpts from Trump's Feb. 5 State of the Union address.

But, as of the early hours Saturday ET, Twitter users could not play the video posted by Trump, and many saw a message that read, "This video has been removed in response to a report from the copyright holder."

The creator of the video that the president tweeted Friday, self-proclaimed Trump supporter @CarpeDonktum, accused Twitter of censorship after the clip became unplayable on the platform.

The clip, clearly meant to mock a selection of lawmakers in Congress, cuts lines from Trump's speech, together with reaction shots of stern-looking politicians whom Trump has criticized in the past. They include Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., and Sen. Mitt Romney, R-Utah.

On Saturday afternoon, Trump tweeted a similar video — but this version's backing track replaced R.E.M. with Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A."

Who knew Trump had mad video editing skillz, yo? And really? God Bless The USA? That’s the best he could do? I mean he couldn’t use Cat Scratch Fever or BAWITDABA? That’s where Trump could take a stand and own his lameness. And by the way this wouldn’t be the first time that Trump has used a song without the artist’s permission. He’s been caught not once, not twice, but over a dozen times! Yes, a whole fucking dozen!

Axl Rose After Guns N' Roses frontman learned that "Sweet Child O' Mine" was being played at the president's rallies, Rose fired off a series of tweets accusing Trump of using licensing loopholes to ignore his request to stop playing the band's music. "Unfortunately the Trump campaign is using loopholes in the various venues’ blanket performance licenses which were not intended for such craven political purposes, without the songwriters’ consent," Rose tweeted on Nov. 4, 2018.

Pharrell On Oct. 27, 2018, the day after the synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh that left 11 dead, Trump played Pharrell's 2013 summer hit "Happy" at a rally in Indiana, according to reports. Pharell's attorney Howard King sent a cease and desist to Trump with a statement regarding the usage. "There was nothing 'happy' about the tragedy inflicted upon our country on Saturday and no permission was granted for your use of this song for this purpose," the letter read.

Neil Young If you go way back to when Trump first announced he would be running for president at the Trump Tower in 2015, you may remember that Neil Young took issue with Trump's use of "Rockin' in the Free World." "Donald Trump was not authorized to use 'Rockin' in the Free World’ in his presidential candidacy announcement," a spokesperson for the musician's Lookout Management said in a statement in 2015. Young recently reiterated his feelings on his official Facebook page: "Legally, he has the right to, however it goes against my wishes."

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Jesse Lee Peterson

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This week’s “This Fucking Guy” is Christian conspiracy theorist, former Newsmax and current radio host, and occasional Infowars contributor Jesse Lee Peterson. This fucking guy. Whew, he is equal parts scary and crazy. And talk about a guy who votes against his own interests at that. He’s a firm and staunch believer and promoter of completely insane theories like Qanon and Pizzagate. He’s also a black guy who’s a firm believer in the fact that racism died when Obama got elected president. Which, as we’ve seen and pointed on this program time and time again, that is simply not true at all! So what’s he been up to lately?

Right-wing commentator Jesse Lee Peterson kicked off his radio program this morning by heaping praise on President Trump for his State of the Union Address last night, while launching personal attacks on Democratic leaders and declaring that anyone who votes for a Democrat after last night “hates God” and “loves Satan.”

Peterson said that Trump’s speech reminded him of the good old days “when men where in charge” and they “didn’t take any crap.”

“Do you see the difference when a man is leading as opposed to when a woman is leading?” he asked. “Especially a liberal woman. It was the difference between night and day.”

After declaring that Democrats “looked like defeated brats” who “demonstrated that they do not love America,” Peterson attacked Rep. John Lewis as a “bug-eyed, fat black guy” who “looked like a dirty, old black trash man.” Later, Peterson turned his attention to Stacey Abrams, who delivered the Democratic response, blasting her for having supposedly “forgotten to straighten her hair.”

“She had this little nasty-looking nappy hair on her head like she just got out of the bathtub from washing her hair and didn’t straighten it,” Peterson carped. “Remember when black women used to … know not to go outside looking like that? Stacey Abrams didn’t straighten her hair. She left it nappy.”

“And she’s getting fat,” he added. “She’s just fat from the head to the toe.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Hey, Jesse, you can’t fat shame someone when you worship the fattest and most slovenly president we’ve ever had! Although seriously, did anyone else have as much fun as I did when #MarALardAss was trending? That guy did! WOOOO! Thank you random audience member! Seriously, Trump’s got the fattest ass of any president we’ve had since Taft. I mean this fucking guy:

That’s actual, unedited footage by the way! And by the way if you’re wondering if Mr. Peterson couldn’t be any more against his own interests, just take a look at what he said a few weeks ago. He’s a guy who actually wants white people to take over, otherwise its’ over!

Right-wing commentator Jesse Lee Peterson appeared on a white nationalist’s podcast last week, telling the host that white people in America need to get married and “have a truckload of white children” because “unless white people take over, it’s over for America.”

Peterson has ties to Fox News host Sean Hannity and has appeared at events with right-wing media personalities including Mike Cernovich. He’s made several appearances on Fox News and he currently hosts a show on Newsmax TV.

Peterson gave an interview to white nationalist podcast host Jean-Francois Gariépy on January 4, during which the duo discussed declining birthrates among white people in the United States. Peterson has appeared on other far-right podcasts, where he’s largely sympathized with the hosts. Peterson frequently claims that racism never existed and that people of color have been undermining America since the Civil Rights era.

Gariépy and Peterson agreed with the claim that non-white people immigrating into the U.S. is making it harder for white people to live in America, prompting Peterson to assert that the United States needs “to close the back door and the front door in this country and in Europe and clean up the mess and if you decide you want to let people of color in again, maybe you can be real selective—like they did in the good old days—about who you let it.”

Wait, what’s a black guy doing hanging around white supremacists? I mean has he not seen that episode of Chappelle’s Show? Maybe they just keep him around you know just because they need a guy like that but really I can’t find any reason. Oh and you know that one of the touchiest subjects in America is abortion, right? Well guess what Mr. Peterson’s position is? Well, he’s taken just about the most far right position of anyone:

On his radio program today, right-wing commentator Jesse Lee Peterson told a caller to break up with the woman with whom he has been in a relationship for five years because she has a child who was conceived via rape.

This morning, a 28-year-old caller named Caleb told Peterson that he has been in a relationship with his girlfriend, who has an 8-year-old daughter who was conceived as a result of a sexual assault, and that he has been helping to raise the young girl since she was three and that she often calls him “daddy”

Caleb wanted to know if Peterson thought it would be okay for him to marry his girlfriend, but Peterson broke his heart when he declared that he could not because this young girl needs to be in a family consisting of her natural mother and natural father, who, in this instance, is reportedly the mother’s rapist.

“Absolutely no,” Peterson declared. “Do not marry a woman … who already has children. It’s bad enough on kids when they don’t have both parents, it’s worse when a so-called step-parent steps in because the soul of that child—whether male or female—the soul yearns for a father, not a step-father or a step-mother. They want their natural father and natural mother, and especially their natural father. So, if this woman is a decent woman at all, she will sacrifice for her child, not for herself, but for her child and you’re going to be in the way.”


So he thinks that children should be raised by both parents even if one of them is an absolute psychopath! And by the way in case you’re wondering if his increasingly hateful rhetoric gets him in trouble or not, well, first consider who his employers are. Then after you’re done with that, consider that his contributions are still a thing!

Jesse Lee Peterson was dropped from Newsmax TV following what his team said was a network restructuring of their 2019 programming schedule, but he will continue to produce his morning radio show independently.

A caller appeared on Peterson’s radio show yesterday and complained to Peterson that she could no longer view his show on Newsmax TV, accusing the right-wing news platform of being staffed with “beta males” who wanted to rid the station of Trump supporters. Peterson asked the caller if she had complained to Newsmax, and she said she had called their customer service department.

Right Wing Watch reached out to Newsmax for comment but did not receive a response before publication.

Peterson confirmed this caller’s complaint in a tweet yesterday, writing “The Jesse Lee Peterson Show is no longer available on Newsmax TV.”

Yeah so he and his hateful rhetoric will be around for a long time. I’d love to see him played by Keenan Thompson on Saturday Night Live. They could have some fun with that! That’s Jesse Lee Peterson, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

So of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And here’s a great example of when life imitates art. Remember that episode of Seinfeld where they all board different subway trains and George is on his way to a job interview, but along the way, gets seduced by a beautiful woman who proceeds to strip him of his underwear, rob him and chain him to a bed post? Well, this is kind of like that. Except that his own GIRLFRIEND was waiting for him downstairs!

A naked man was getting ready to have sex with a woman he’d just met, while his understanding girlfriend waited downstairs, he told police in North Carolina, but things went downhill quickly after that.

Randleman Police said Christopher Hancock told them he was attacked and robbed at the late morning sexual rendezvous, the Courier-Tribune reported.

Hancock reported he and his girlfriend have an open relationship, and they both went to a house so he could have sex with the other woman, according to WSET.

With his girlfriend waiting downstairs on a couch on Jan. 28, Hancock told police he and the woman went to a bedroom and stripped naked, per WFMY. That’s when two men attacked Hancock, punching and choking him until he blacked out, the TV station reported.

When the Franklinville resident came to, he told police the men were gone, along with his pants and $10,000 he said he had in one of the pockets, according to the Courier-Tribune.

Read more: https://www.newsobserver.com/latest-news/article226410755.html

I think the bigger question is where was he going with that $10,000? That’s a huge, huge yada yada there! Seriously, was he hiring a hitman? Oh well, we may never know! Next up, what is with people from Florida and burritos? This is the **SECOND** burrito incident from the Sunshine state in less than two weeks! I mean were they channeling their inner Ron Burgundy?

For the second time in as many weeks, a Florida Man has been arrested for battering a woman with a burrito, according to court records.

Police charge that Peter Elacqua, 41, got into an argument with his girlfriend Friday in their Port Richey residence.

After Elacqua allegedly shoved the woman into a chair in their bedroom, he “threw his burrito at the Victim,” striking her in the face with the food item.

When a sheriff’s deputy arrived at the home in response to a 911 call, the woman had “the contents of the burrito dispersed across her face, neck, and left chest/shoulder area.”

Next up, we got another gem from Florida Man’s cousin, Maine Man. Yes, Maine, or Canada’s Florida, definitely brings the crazy wherever they can. Seriously, they cant even visit Nana in the hospital without stirring some shit up. Come on, man, if you’re going to visit Nana in the hospital, maybe leave the meth at home?
vJan. 20 fight at an Ellsworth hospital was precipitated by an incident in which a Norridgewock man crawled halfway out of a moving vehicle and pointed something at a car behind him that the other driver thought was a rifle, according to court documents.

The man and his two brothers then stopped their vehicle on East Main Street and ran away from responding police to Northern Light Maine Coast Hospital, where a few minutes later they were confronted by Ellsworth police officers in their grandmother’s room. In the ensuing brawl, each man was shot twice with stun guns, and hospital furniture was broken before the three men were subdued and arrested, according to a probable cause police report filed in Hancock County Unified Criminal Court.


According to Heidi Grant, mother of the three men, she was at the hospital and let them in the locked door, not knowing she wasn’t supposed to let them in. She said her sons had called her telling her they were being chased by police and were afraid of being shot.

Police pursued the men to their grandmother’s hospital room and again ordered them to get down on the floor. They refused, at which point police fired their Tasers, according to the police report. The officers then tried to wrestle the three men to the ground, with Wilmot and Brighton Sawyer exchanging blows.

Yeah bring it on!!! Next up we go to Virginia where a guy with a name that would imply the exact opposite is happening, decided to use his garage door to project some images on it that the neighbors would find, well, unflattering.

FEBRUARY 8--A Virginia man is behind bars after projecting a porno film on his garage door in full view of his neighbors, police allege.

Antonio Smallwood, 41, was arrested Wednesday evening in connection with the al fresco 7 PM screening on a tidy Newport News street. A patrolman responded to the block after a 911 call reported "pornographic material being displayed," cops say.

"Upon arrival, the officer observed a movie involving sexual activity being projected on the garage door of the residence," according to police. At that point, a cop sought to serve Smallwood with a summons. But when the film enthusiast refused to sign the summons, he was arrested.

Ah that was a great scene! I may need to break out my Fight Club DVD later. Finally this week for People Are Dumb, we go to Hong Kong for this one. And sometimes a potato is just a potato, or sometimes it might be a hand grenade! Yes, there was a hand grenade found in a batch of potatoes. I hope they didn’t charge extra!

A World War One-era German hand grenade has been found among a delivery of potatoes shipped from France to a crisp factory in Hong Kong, police say.

The muddy device, which was 3in (8cm) wide, was "in an unstable condition" because it had been discharged but had failed to detonate, officials said.

It was discovered at the Calbee crisp-making factory in the eastern Sai Kung district on Saturday morning.

The bombe de terre was safely detonated on site by bomb disposal officers.


That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 30: The Federal Emergency Management Authority
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It’s time for episode 2 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the many branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Federal Emergency Management Authority[/font]

When a natural disaster strikes (presidential disasters not withstanding), you call the experts who know how to handle it at FEMA! Yes, FEMA. You might remember them from such movies as Deep Impact, Volcano, San Andreas, Deepwater Horizon, Into The Storm, Armageddon, Knowing, and most recently Geostorm. Yes, Geostorm – the Suicide Squad of disaster flicks. Hell, there was even a very poorly made conservative documentary chronicling FEMA’s rise in the Deep State. Look it up. It’s worth a Google. But what does FEMA actually do? FEMA was founded in 1978 by president Gerald Ford under an executive order but has since branched out into its’ own branch of the US government. And with climate change rearing its’ ugly head, FEMA is working overtime.

A federal advisory panel that's supposed to provide scientific information to the National Flood Insurance Program is entering a five-month work stoppage, even as property losses mount against the backdrop of severe inundation related to climate change.

The Technical Mapping Advisory Council, or TMAC, is composed of 20 experts tapped by the FEMA administrator to answer complex questions about flood dynamics and flood risk in areas across the United States that are experiencing higher temperatures.

Created by Congress in 2012, TMAC’s specific charge is to “ensure that flood insurance rate maps (FIRMs) reflect the best available science and are based on the best available methodologies for considering the impact of future development on flood risk.”

Its findings have direct implications for NFIP, the federal insurance program meant to protect private properties from catastrophic flood losses. Today, NFIP has nearly 5.1 million policyholders and is more than $20 billion in debt, a crisis brought on by unprecedented payouts since Hurricane Katrina in 2005.

So I guess you could say that FEMA is under water? Hey o!!! Thank you I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress! But in all seriousness, things are so bad at FEMA right now that the director was forced to resign. Things are going just swimmingly!

Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Brock Long announced Wednesday that he is resigning.

"It has been a great honor to serve our country as FEMA Administrator for the past two years. During my tenure, the Agency worked more than 220 declared disasters," Long said in a statement.
His resignation comes months after a controversy over his use of government vehicles.

Last fall, Long was the subject of a Department of Homeland Security probe into whether he was misusing government resources when he used government vehicles and personnel for six-hour drives between his home in North Carolina and FEMA headquarters in Washington.

An inspector general's investigation, released by House Democrats in September, found that even after Long had been told not to, he continued to use government SUVs and drivers to shuttle between home and work.

Yes this is fine. Just make sure that you don’t live in an area where natural disasters occur and you should be fine. Oh wait, natural disasters are everywhere! There’s fires, floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, hurricanes, and they’re all escalating thanks to climate change deniers! So how is FEMA prepared to handle such disasters?

FEMA is pushing back on claims from the Town of Surf City that it is "not protecting its citizens’ best interests” when it comes to restoring the beaches of the Pender County community in the wake of Hurricane Florence.

Ashley Loftis, Surf City town manager, said Monday, “Our citizens felt this way when they saw that only certain homes were classified as imminent critical.”

The town sent out a news release conveying its frustration with FEMA over the weekend. The release said town leaders are moving forward in hauling sand to areas considered “imminent critical areas” by FEMA and non-critical areas will receive a sand push. Town leaders are advertising for bids for the sand projects.

John Mills with FEMA external affairs responded to that release Monday.

We’re talking about actual disasters here. Oh and in case you’re wondering if things couldn’t get any crazier at FEMA than they are, they have to do damage control within their own department! Because there’s a FEMA manager who was under fire for watching way too much Infowars and repeating some ridiculously horrible conspiracy theories about Michelle Obama (that I won’t repeat here) – and got busted for doing something shady. I’m shocked, shocked I tell you!!

The West Virginia woman, who made national headlines in 2016 when she was fired from a county development organization over a racist Facebook post about then-First Lady Michelle Obama, has now pleaded guilty to defrauding the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) out of $18,000 intended to help flood victims.

According to the Charleston Gazette-Mail, Pamela Taylor, 57, admitted to taking the government benefits after falsely claiming her home was damaged in the June 2016 floods that killed more than 20 people and wrecked houses on along the Elk River and beyond.

In reality, her home was not damaged at all.

WSAZ reports Taylor has agreed to pay $18,149.04 in restitution. She faces up to 30 years in prison and a fine of up to half a million dollars at her sentencing on May 30, according to the local television station.

As CBS News reported in 2016, the racist Facebook post compared Mrs. Obama to a primate.

“It will be refreshing to have a classy, beautiful, dignified First Lady in the White House. I’m tired of seeing a Ape in heels," the post said.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: C-
How Things Are Going: B-
Likely hood To Survive: C

Overall: C-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Unfortunately folks, all good things must end, even our journey down the government wormhole, and we are going to take a deep dive into the US State Department!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Hozier[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest has a new album coming out on March 1st called “Wasteland, Baby!”. You can see him April 9th at Hollywood Forever and on tour this April and May. Playing his song “Nina Cried Power”, give it up for Hozier!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Ontario Improv, Ontario, CA
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UC Riverside Choir Club, Riverside, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Hozier Appears Courtesy Of: Columbia Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Feb 20, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-6: A Tale Of Two Crowd Sizes Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-6: A Tale Of Two Crowd Sizes Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! We have the best deals on travel – act now and get double your bonus miles! We are back! Holy crap did we pick the wrong time to be off for a week or what? I mean we had Trump’s second State Of The Union, and the drama and the speech itself weren’t the craziest thing of the week! There’s a lot to unpack here so we will do the best we can! Do we have time for the thing? Sigh... FML people. Just... seriously I hate humanity sometimes. Why? Theme parks. Yes, those places your kids really want to go to where you can easily blow a grand waiting in line all day. There's lots of news out there that proves why I gave up theme parks a long time ago. And you know what? I don't really miss 'em either. Shit, I live 15 minutes from Disneyland and I maybe go there about once every two years. But this... this is just one of the strangest theme park attractions I've ever seen. Remember that animated flick from a couple of years ago called Trolls? If you don't I suggest going on Youtube and watching the CinemaSins Everything Wrong With video because that's about all you really need. So if you go visit Universal Studios in Orlando, there is a human size troll that greets people with glitter farts. Yes, glitter farts. Seriously, WTF is wrong with people??? And imagine being the guy who gets paid to wear purple body paint and be made up like a troll doll and all day all he does is sit there and fart glitter? Yeah that's a thing that exists in 2019. I'm sure it's probably already bad enough for the people who have to put on costumes and dance for tourists all day because they probably get paid shit, but I really wonder what they think of the glitter farts guy? And also imagine being the guy who thought of this! What you mean people are amused by glitter troll farts? I know let's put it in our theme parks! Brilliant! And he walks away with a giant sack of money. OK that's enough of the intro, I don't want to think about glitter farts anymore. We have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Keenan Thompson of SNL explains to white people that maybe you shouldn’t do blackface no matter what the situation is:

You know it’s a fucked up week when Trump’s 2nd State Of The Union is the 2nd craziest thing that happened! For the first slot this week is AMI (1). Yes, the parent company of sleazy supermarket tabloid the National Enquirer is back in the news for an insane blackmail scheme involving the richest guy in the world, Jeff Bezos. Yeah, don’t go there, AMI, it won’t end well for you. In the second slot this week is the State Of The Union recap (2) which was summed up perfectly by one of Trump’s guests of honor.For the third slot this week is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (3) and he went to Texas, because, border hysteria from the right, but Beto’s rally drew over twice as many people! In the words of Nelson Muntz, ha ha!! In the number 4 slot this week is the latest on the Ralph Northam scandal, and people, it’s not good. In fact I think it is saying more about the state of Virginia than it is about Gov. Northam. Taking the 5th slot this week, we’ve got our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week we’re going to take a look at a controversy surrounding home DNA testing company 23 & Me (5) – just how accurate are the results? (hint: slim to nil) At number 6, is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week our resident pastor is stunned that the Dark One is once again blurring the line between Separation Of Church & State by advocating for more Bible based classes. What could go wrong? For the 7th slot this week we’ve got a new edition of “NO!”. Really, Delta Airlines and Coke, WTF were you thinking with those creepy airplane napkins? NO!! In the number 8 slot this week it’s another installment of the hot new game that ‘s sweeping the nation – “IS IT RACIST???” . And this week there’s a literary professor who is making an absurd claim that Mary Poppins is racist, because, yeah it’s 2019. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week we have a new installment of one of our favorite segments, I Need A Drink. And this week we’re going to talk about the boiling water challenge. Really, people, just keep doing what you are doing.Finally this week in the latest installment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries, we are going to the inner cities to check out what’s going on with the Department Of Housing & Urban Development, or the HUD! Enjoy! Plus we’ve got some live music from oh, I don’t know, a little band called Muse! Yes, they are too big for this crappy program but they are stopping by anyways! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Jeff Bezos vs AMI
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Yeah… we need some sexy time music cause this one is for the lovers in the house! That’s right – we’re going to talk about one of the lowest forms of behavior that you just shouldn’t do – the dick pic! Yes, the subject of the dick pic once again rears its’ ugly head. But do we really need a guy with the last name pecker threatening to publish dick pics? Let’s just let that one sink in for a minute. This is quite possibly one of the most insane scandals ever to scandal.

In the blogpost, titled “No thank you, Mr Pecker”, Bezos accused AMI of telling him “they had more of my text messages and photos that they would publish if we didn’t stop our investigation”.

Bezos said his ownership of the Washington Post was a “complexifier” because it had made him the enemy of people including Donald Trump, who has frequently targeted him. Pecker is a longtime confidant of the president.

In December, prosecutors in the southern district of New York gave AMI immunity from prosecution for its cooperation in the investigation into Trump’s presidential campaign and alleged hush payments to a Playboy model. AMI admitted the company had coordinated with Trump’s presidential campaign to “catch and kill” – buy up but not publish – the story of Karen McDougal, the model who claimed she had an affair with Trump. AMI admitted it had worked “in concert” with the campaign to pay McDougal $150,000 for her story and then suppress it. Bezos noted in the blogpost that AMI had entered into the immunity deal.

According to Bezos, AMI’s chief content officer, Dylan Howard, emailed threats to Bezos’s lawyer, Martin Singer, allegedly writing: “In the interests of expediating [sic] this situation, and with The Washington Post poised to publish unsubstantiated rumors of The National Enquirer’s initial report, I wanted to describe to you the photos obtained during our newsgathering.”

And by the way just how evil is AMI over this? Well this wouldn’t be the first time a sleazy tabloid got caught in an extortion ring. That’s pretty much what they do for a living! So just how legal is what AMI is doing? Well let’s ask a real lawyer!

So, The Hollywood Reporter canvassed intellectual property experts and asked them to weigh the four factors of fair use with regard to Bezos' lower selfies.

The purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes:

"To the extent that there’s a public interest argument it certainly wouldn’t extend to the content of the photos themselves," says entertainment litigator Ashley Yeargan of Russ August & Kabat. "You can describe the photos without having to show them."

Kinsella Weitzman entertainment and intellectual property litigator Gregory Korn agrees the photo itself isn't newsworthy, adding that "it’s essentially just a commercial use. If you call it anything else, you’re just lying to yourself."

As a lawyer who typically defends these kinds of claims, Fox Rothschild's David Aronoff says he would argue it isn't a commercial use — but, he still thinks AMI doesn't have a winning case. "I think fair use would be pretty much their only defense, and it’s not a good one," he says. "Putting aside the issue of extortion, do they have a fair use argument to publish the photos? The answer to that is a pretty strong 'no.'"

That’s right – hell no!!! But what is AMI getting out of all of this? Well they’re so deep in the collusion scandal that they actually asked the Justice Department whether or not they should register as a foreign agent with the Saudis! Yes that’s right! AMI is deep in a hostile foreign power that is against American interests, much like the WWE. I mean come on, it’s all connected don’t you know?

American Media asked the DoJ about having to register as foreign agent after publishing a glossy mag that hyped Saudi Arabia.

Remember that weird glossy magazine that came out last year promoting Saudi crown prince Mohammed Bin Salman? Daily Beast called it Saudi propaganda, and it was.

AMI, the parent company of The National Enquirer, produced it.

Right after they put this weird Saudi propaganda publication out, AMI asked the United States Department of Justice if it should register as a foreign lobbyist, according to multiple news reports out today.

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has accused AMI of blackmailing him over intimate photos, and questioned whether Saudi Arabia may have been involved, which both AMI and the kingdom have denied.

Yes… yes we are!!!! So you have a trashy entertainment company and a trashy supermarket tabloid journalism company both deep in a massive conspiracy to undermine the world’s largest retailer, but how far does it go? Yes, that’s what she said! Thank you sir! Got to love it when we have smart asses in the audience! But of course AMI is in full “nothing to see here” mode!

A lawyer for National Enquirer owner American Media Inc.'s CEO defended the company's correspondence with Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, saying AMI did nothing illegal.

"It absolutely is not extortion and not blackmail," Elkan Abramowitz, attorney for AMI CEO David Pecker, said Sunday on ABC's "This Week with George Stephanopoulos."

His comments came after Bezos published a blog post Thursday accusing AMI of attempting to blackmail him with threats to publish a trove of embarrassing photos, including some of a sexual nature.

The clash followed the Enquirer's previous publication of a report on Bezos' breakup with his wife and his romantic relationship with former Los Angeles news anchor Lauren Sanchez.

Bezos on Thursday posted emails in which AMI representatives offered to withhold publication of the embarrassing photos in exchange for Bezos acknowledging that the tabloid owner had no political motivation for publishing its original expose. Pecker has supported Donald Trump, and Trump has repeatedly criticized Bezos, who owns The Washington Post.

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[font size="8"]State Of The Union
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Whew, you know it’s a fucked up week when the State Of The Union is only the second craziest thing that happened! Of course we don’t have much time to cover and most of it has been covered already but of course… wait, my fact checker is going off!! Oh! Oh!!!! Trump broke the fact checker! Yes, that’s right, he broke the fact checker! But this might be my absolute favorite thing coming out of the SOTU is that Trump invited a kid with the last name Trump, because of course he did. And that kid was being bullied for his last name Trump, because of course, violent leftist mob, and such. And you know how this kid returned the favor? Well…

An 11-year-old boy called Joshua Trump who was invited by his presidential namesake to his State of the Union speech fell asleep and has been hailed as a hero of the anti-Trump resistance.

Joshua Trump, a middle-school student from Delaware, was invited to the delayed event by Melania Trump. He dropped out of school after being bullied because of his last name.

As cameras panned to the audience, the boy could be seen napping while Donald Trump renewed his promise to build a US-Mexico border and declared illegal immigration “an urgent national crisis”.

One Twitter user, who posted a screenshot of the younger Trump asleep, wrote: “JOSHUA TRUMP RULES.”

“Joshua Trump, welcome to the resistance,” said another.

Screw the meme. Can we show that picture?

Don’t even have to Photoshop that one! My other favorite thing from the SOTU was Nancy Pelosi standing behind Trump doing the alligator clap, and Trump looked like he was having none of it, and Mike Pence was looking about as creepy as ever. I mean at this point would anyone be surprised that VP Pence actually has real skeletons in his closet? I know I am not!

President Donald Trump spoke for more than an hour and 20 minutes last night, but the moment that may be remembered best from his State of the Union address had no words at all.

It was when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) stood and applauded a line from Trump’s speech in a way that seemed rife with sarcasm to many observers.

The moment came after an eyebrow-raising call for unity from Trump that seemed at direct odds with his own long history of Twitter insults, especially coming on the heels of a pre-speech luncheon in which he reportedly insulted multiple political rivals.

“We must reject the politics of revenge, resistance and retribution, and embrace the boundless potential of cooperation, compromise and the common good,” Trump said in his State of the Union address.

Common good? Common good? Trump wouldn’t know common good if it jumped up and bit him on the ass! Thank you audience! And by the way, if unity was the theme of the SOTU, Trump certainly did a good job of conveying that message! Oh wait, he literally did the exact opposite and used it to threaten the democrats! Good job!!! NOT!!!

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Wednesday characterized President Trump's description of "ridiculous, partisan investigations" as a threat to Democrats.

"An economic miracle is taking place in the United States, and the only thing that can stop it are foolish wars, politics, or ridiculous, partisan investigations," Trump said during his State of the Union Address Tuesday night.

The next morning, Pelosi, who has gone toe to toe with the president since Democrats took over the House last month, pushed back.

“That was a threat. Presidents should not bring threats to the floor of the House," the California Democrat told a group of reporters at the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday.

Despite the president's remarks, House Democrats moved forward with their inquiries, as the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee said his panel will expand its Russia probe into Trump, including whether the Kremlin holds “leverage” over the president.

There goes unity! And by the way he hammered that point home on Twitter in the last week regarding Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s proposed new Green Deal, which we won’t get to this week but will next week (that’s what happens when you are limited to 10 items a week!) :


Someone didn't read! I mean really eliminating all those things, Trump? No planes means no Air Force One to take you to your golf courses, and no cows means no Big Macs. If this plan went through, what would you feed the Patriots when they visit? His incoherent word salads on Twitter usually make a whole lot of sense. And speaking of not making sense , remember his plan to eliminate HIV? Well…

When President Trump gave his State of the Union address last week, he made an ambitious promise to "eliminate the H.I.V. epidemic in the United States within 10 years." The announcement was followed by a blueprint from the Department of Health and Human Services that details the administration's plan to concentrate funding for treatment and preventative medicine in a few dozen counties nationwide with the highest rates of infection. Public health experts generally applauded the plan as achievable with existing tools and techniques.

The announcement also contained a second, less-noticed promise: To defeat AIDS "beyond" the U.S. But the president's own record on addressing the virus in other countries has been inconsistent.

In December, Trump signed a bill reauthorizing the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, known as PEPFAR, a flagship foreign assistance program that was initiated in 2003 by President George W. Bush and has grown to be one of the biggest and most successful public health interventions in history, responsible for saving millions of lives around the world.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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The GOP hysteria over the US – Mexican border is reaching epic proportions. And this week it was Trump vs Beto, or as we’re calling it “A Tale Of Two Crowd Sizes”, duking it out in Texas. But why is it always the democrats are loony? Or we’re out of control? Or we’re unhinged and insane? Really we’re not the ones who are building a human wall full of gun nuts along the Mexican border. Yes, they are literally building a human wall to protect us against the non existent immigrant threat. I cannot fathom enough about how insane this is. I swear that if Trump told his supporters to go jump off the nearest tall building, they’d do it. Don’t these people have things like jobs and families? They don’t have anything better to do, really?

Dozens of supporters of President Donald Trump's border security efforts formed a human wall Saturday across a small part of the southern border where there is no fencing.

The group gathered near Sunland Park, New Mexico, linking arms and chanting "build a wall," according to CNN affiliate KFOX.

Many held up American flags. Some sported "Make America Great Again" hats, and said they were there to show their support for the construction of a wall at the border.

The demonstration came just two days before President Donald Trump's visit to El Paso, Texas for a rally on Monday.

Yeah it’s kind of like that. But what will actually happen I think is more like this:

But then Trump decided to go down to El Paso himself, because he wants that damn wall, and he will get it or his supporters will be their wall! Because, reasons. And really, El Paso, we’re sorry that the shit show had to roll through your town, but don’t fret, other border towns will soon become victims of it!

Mariachis versus MAGA hats. Pro-wall versus pro-immigrants. President versus potential presidential hopeful.

This Texas border city of 684,000 residents was rocked Monday by dueling political rallies as a campaign event by President Donald Trump was met with protests led by former Democratic congressman and El Paso native Beto O'Rourke, a potential contender against Trump in next year's presidential election.

Across the city, pro-Trump backers voiced their support for the president, especially in his steadfast effort to erect a border wall along the southwest border with Mexico. A campaign rally at the El Paso County Coliseum drew several thousand supporters.

Trump took a jab at his El Paso rival, calling O'Rourke "a young man who has very little going for himself except he has a great first name." His speech was interrupted repeatedly by anti-Trump protesters in the crowd.

That’s what Trump thinks will happen! Oh and by the way in case you had any doubt about the kind of person Trump attracts, let’s say that they pulled a Gianforte. Yeah, the MAGA morons grabbed and assaulted a BBC reporter. Because, MAGA.

A BBC camera operator was attacked at a rally held by President Donald Trump in El Paso, Texas, on Monday — one where the president repeatedly goaded his fans into booing the media.

The camera operator, identified by a colleague as Ron Skeans, was attacked by a man wearing a red Trump hat who could be heard yelling, “Fuck the media!”

Trump paused his speech while the assailant was escorted away. The audience responded with a smattering of “CNN sucks!” chants that eventually morphed into “Trump! Trump! Trump!”

According to the BBC, the assailant “shoved and swore at the BBC’s Ron Skeans and other news crews before being pulled away.” Skeans described a “very hard shove” coming from behind him:

Yeah there’s nothing funny about that so we won’t try. But really, fuck these people. And that’s about as classy of a response as we’ll get from Trump fans. And by the way in case you’re wondering what the response coming from the city of El Paso is, well, walls aren’t really the answer. But there really is no one good answer for this problem. And of course, Trump’s got the wrong idea on everything.

People walking over the Paso del Norte Bridge linking this West Texas border city to Mexico can watch President Donald Trump’s border wall getting bigger in real time.

Workers in fluorescent smocks can be seen digging trenches, pouring concrete and erecting rust-colored slabs of 18-foot-high metal to replace layers of barbed wire-topped fencing along the mud-colored Rio Grande, which is usually little more than a trickle.

Most of the more than 70,000 people who legally cross four city bridges daily — to shop, go to school and work — pay the construction in the heart of downtown no mind. But on a recent weekday, one man stopped and pointed, saying simply “Trump.”

In his State of the Union address, the president said a “powerful barrier” had cut crime rates in El Paso. He’s demanding more than 100 miles of new walls, costing $5.7 billion, along the 1,900-mile border, despite opposition from Democrats and some Republicans in Congress.

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[font size="8"]Ralph Northam Scandal Update
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Sigh… this scandal is not going away anytime soon. And no, we’re not going to play a game of “Is It Racist” because we have a much more ridiculous topic saved for that this week. Yeah as you’re aware, the current Virginia governor and guy whose Amazon account includes buying the shovel with which he will use to dig his political grave, Ralph Northam, just doesn’t stop talking. In fact you know sometimes silence is the best answer. But no, he won’t shut up about it.

Democratic Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam held onto his office over the past week by saying as little as possible.

Following the circulation of a photo on Northam's medical school yearbook page that featured a man in blackface and another in KKK robes, Northam held a news conference that went, well, disastrously -- culminating in his almost-moonwalking.(Northam admitted to darkening his face to go as Michael Jackson to a dance party in 1984.)

At which point, Northam went almost completely silent. This paragraph, from a terrific Politico piece on Northam's plan to survive, gets to that silent strategy:
"This week, Northam has been largely holed up in his office and has not walked next door to the Capitol, where the Legislature is in session, according to multiple lawmakers. Most of the legislators he's called or texted are Republicans who had not called for him to resign."

And it worked! Now, much of that success was due to the fact that Democratic state Attorney General Mark Herring admitted he, too, had blackened his face in '80s, and the ongoing allegations of sexual assault against Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax, also a Democrat. But regardless of the reasons, Northam stayed out of the spotlight -- mostly -- and lived to fight another week, a prospect that seemed very, very unlikely at this time last week.

Yes, Gov. Northam, just shut up already! You know the sad thing is this whole thing was discovered by a Trump friendly news organization who figured out a way to weaponize blackface. And really, that’s as bad as the act of blackface itself. But then of course, he had to get involved. Yes, you know him. And he only makes things worse.

At a rally in El Paso, Texas, on Monday, President Donald Trump accused Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, a Democrat, of supporting infanticide.

“The governor stated that he would even allow a newborn baby to come out into the world,” Trump told the crowd, “and wrap the baby, and make the baby comfortable, and then talk to the mother and talk to the father and then execute the baby. Execute the baby!”

Trump was talking about comments Northam made in late January, when he was asked during a filmed radio interview about an abortion bill before the Virginia House of Delegates. The governor’s comments were confusing, and some took them, at the time, as an endorsement of infanticide. But the governor has said that he was “absolutely not” talking about infanticide — and in any case, the Virginia bill would certainly not allow doctors to “execute” a baby after it’s born.

Trump’s comments at the rally may be part of a larger strategy to stir up support among abortion opponents in advance of the 2020 election.

Holy fucking shit!!!! He went there!!! Yes, execute the baby!!! Is it me or does Trump sound like a child when he says something like that? “They execute the baby!!!!”. I mean really this is a special kind of stupid, let’s call it MAGA. But in case you’re wondering what poll numbers are like for the VA governor, well, let’s say they’re not at all shocking .

Virginia residents are at an impasse over whether they feel Gov. Ralph Northam should step down after a racist photo from his past caught up with him last week, though a majority of black voters say they have still his back, according to new polls released this week.

The overall divide is an even split: 47 percent of Virginians want to see him stay; 47 percent want to see him go, according to a Washington Post/Schar School poll released Saturday. But what’s significant about the poll results is the racial breakdown of Northam’s support: Even after the governor admitted to using shoe polish to wear blackface in the 1980s, black Virginians still support him more than whites.

Roughly 58 percent of African Americans polled said Northam should remain in office, compared to 46 percent of whites who said the same.

The poll was conducted just days after a racist photo surfaced from the pages of Northam’s 1984 medical school yearbook, showing a picture of a man in blackface standing next to another man wearing a white Ku Klux Klan hood. After admitting the picture was his, Northam backtracked a day later and denied that he was either individual in the image. He did fess up, however, to dressing up in blackface that same year for a Michael Jackson dance contest.

If you’re not surprised by those poll numbers, not only are you in the wrong place but you have not been paying attention! Because…. Surprise, Americans are split down the middle on just about everything right now. And of course he’s in full on denial mode right now:

Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam rejected mounting calls for his resignation Saturday and, in a sharp reversal, said he does not believe he in fact appears in a racist photo on his 1984 medical school yearbook page as he initially thought.

"I am not the person in that photo," Northam said at an afternoon news conference.

He apologized, however, for the photos being on a page with his name on it.

"I am asking for the opportunity to earn your forgiveness," the governor said, adding, "I am far from perfect and I can always strive to do more."

His remarks came in the face of widespread demands throughout the state Democratic party and beyond for him to step down.

Former Vice President Joe Biden, Terry McAuliffe, Northam's Democratic predecessor as governor, a half-dozen Democratic presidential hopefuls, the NAACP, Planned Parenthood and state Democratic lawmakers called on the governor to resign.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: DIY DNA
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

You’ve probably seen home DNA testing kits come along fast and furious lately. From companies that offer just basic testing like 23 & Me to sites that offer more specific studies, like ancestry.com. But if you have been taking these tests or you’ve been hearing that the tests come back wrong every time, you’re not alone. In fact, you should be concerned immediately after sending back the kit, especially if you sign up for their health tests.

23andMe is pushing back against a recent The New York Times editorial board opinion piece that warned customers to be careful about the company's health tests.

The editorial board argued that 23andMe's genetic risk health tests, such as its test that claims to screen for two genetic mutations linked to colorectal cancer, can't determine the actual risk of developing the diseases because it relies on "much simpler technology" than a healthcare facility does.

In addition, the op-ed compared 23andMe's breast cancer screen to "proofreading a document by looking at only a handful of letters," as the test only looks at parts of the genome where mutations are known to occur.

"[23andMe's tests] look for only a handful of errors that may or may not elevate your risk of developing the disease in question. And they don't factor into their final analysis other information, like family history. (Not everyone with a given mutation will go on to develop the disease). So the results will not tell you much about your actual health risks," the editorial board wrote in the Feb. 1 opinion piece.

Yes it definitely is! And in case you’re wondering, some disturbing facts about 23 and Me and similar DNA testing companies have recently been coming up. And they are very shocking, especially about the concentration of where your DNA is going. Right now, 4 companies control the DNA of 26 million people, and yes, you read that right.

Four companies now have DNA information on more than 26 million people.

That’s roughly the combined population of New York State (nearly 20 million), Connecticut (3.5 million) and Chicago (2.7 million).

According to MIT Technology Review , the number of people who submitted their most personal genetic details to companies including 23andme and Ancestry.com doubled in 2018. At that rate, 100 million people will have provided information about their DNA make-up to private companies by the end of 2020.

Testing kits like AncestryDNA can be purchased on Amazon.com for $69 and are simple to use. Customers simply rub a cotton swab inside their mouth, seal it in a package included in the kit, mail it to a lab, and wait up to a month to find out their ethnic makeup.

While many people enjoy learning about their heritage, critics argue such that DNA information might allow insurance companies to discriminate against people predisposed to certain ailments.

Except it’s not dino DNA. It’s human DNA, sir. And by the way if you think that DNA testing screw ups are limited to just the US, you are wrong. In fact it’s a world wide problem that affects just about everyone who ponies up the $199 for the 23 & Me kit. Yes, the home DNA testing kits cost $200, and for that amount of money they had better get something right!

Mail-order genetic testing kits, which are all the rage right now, have been put through their paces by identical twins, and the results are a little baffling.

These test kits collect your DNA, typically by you spitting into a tube, and then you have to send the package back to the manufacturers for analysis. The results are shared electronically when ready.

To check out the accuracy of these test kits, Charlsie Agro – who fronts Canadian telly watchdog show Marketplace – and her identical twin sister Carly used them to submit their DNA to five separate consumer-grade genetic-testing outfits, and compared their results.

And their results were surprisingly varied. For one thing, the tests couldn't agree on where exactly their ancestors actually physically came from. Test kit supplier 23andMe reckoned the twins are about 40 per cent Italian, and 25 per cent Eastern European; AncestryDNA said they are about 40 per cent Russia or Eastern European, and 30 per cent Italian; and MyHeritageDNA concluded are about 60 per cent Balkan, and 20 per cent Greek.

Except there’s no chaos theory here, at least not yet. There’s plenty of reasons why you should do a 23 & Me test but there’s also plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t. The fact that 26 million people have their DNA data in the hands of 4 companies is enough. But this also might shock you.

Last month, the DNA-testing company 23andMe secured Food and Drug Administration approval for a new screening for gene-based health risks. Along with celiac disease, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, breast cancer and several other medical conditions, the company can now screen clients for two mutations that have been linked to colorectal cancer.

But “F.D.A.-approved” does not necessarily mean “clinically useful.” 23andMe relies on much simpler technology than tests that you’d get at your doctor’s office. As a result, the company’s tests cannot tell you much about your actual risk of developing the diseases in question.

Here’s how those tests work — and why you should interpret them with caution.
They read your gene.

You can think of your genes as long text documents. The words are your genetic code. Genetic mutations are like typos — imperfections that scientists can spot with some scrutiny.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know… do we really need *MORE* religion in our lives? Now I ask this of you *AS* an ordained minister in my own church! Because it used to be religion was only confined to the churches. And that was before 1980. Now the Christian church has become a 24/7 lifestyle brand. They sell you the music, they sell you the movies, and they’re selling you education. Yes, education is now becoming a product of the ultra far right wing churches. And now they want to take it mainstream. Yes, with the help of the Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, they might just get their wish, and they will make you take Bible classes whether you want it or not!

With the government shutdown on the back burner, President Donald Trump has taken up another interest: Bible study.

“Numerous states introducing Bible Literacy classes, giving students the option of studying the Bible,” Trump said in a Monday morning tweet, asserting, “Starting to make a turn back? Great!”

The social media assertion was made 30 minutes after Fox & Friends played a related segment, Politico reported, then noting that Trump’s tweet was “not quite accurate.”

Although lawmakers have begun introducing various “Bible literacy” bills across the country, which would encourage or require public school students study the Old and New Testament, as has been documented in a USA Today report published last week, none of the bills have actually passed.

While the bills have been supported by some Christian groups, USA Today reports that other civil rights organizations argue that such a mandate would violate the Constitution’s separation of church and state.

Yes, this is so rich! The guy who is the ungodliest, most holy DAYMON in the room somehow wants to be more godly than the next guy. But he won’t! In fact if you look at your Good Book, JAYSUS said that the Dark One shall pose as a creature of light. But is there any coincidence to what he’s trying to do? Well, that news could be related to this!

President Donald Trump gave Bible literacy legislation a shout-out on Monday with a tweet praising states that are “starting to make a turn back” to an unspecified time when public schools apparently relished in Bible study.

As The Washington Post’s Mark Chancy noted, there was no such time in American history.

And as Trump’s former pastor noted, in any case, the president can’t exactly speak with much authority on the subject.

Pastor David Lewicki responded to Trump’s tweet on Tuesday morning, explaining how he served as a pastor at New York City’s Marble Collegiate Church for about five years in the mid-aughts.

Despite being on the member rolls, Trump never showed. Not to Bible study ― and not even to a service, according to Lewicki.

He just can’t stop lying. And if I remember from the Good Book, LYING IS A SIN!!!! It is one of the most egregious of SINS!!!! And the Dark One can’t help himself in not telling the Truth! For JAYSUS himself even said “I am the way, I am the truth, I am the life!!!”. And the Dark One should realize that he ain’t the truth! In fact, he can’t handle it!

The Supreme Court barred devotional Bible reading and recitations of the Lord’s Prayer in public schools in 1963. But the ruling also said courses about the Bible were permissible, so long as they were “presented objectively as part of a secular program of education.”

Evangelical Christians promptly began a full-court press for Bible classes, which were hardly objective or secular. As I noted in my 2002 book, "Whose America?: Culture Wars in the Public Schools," a Florida teacher of “Bible history” said his class had helped recruit more than 100 new members into an after-school “Youth for Christ” course. And in South Carolina, a graduate of her own school’s “Bible survey” said the course had persuaded her to become a missionary. “I want everybody to have what I have,” she told her teacher, “And I’d like to spend my life sharing it with them.”

Both of these accounts appeared in the evangelical press, which didn’t disguise the purpose of the Bible classes: to spread the Christian Gospel. And that seems to be the same goal behind a recent round of state legislative proposals to enhance "Bible literacy" in our public schools.

As reported last month in USA TODAY, lawmakers in at least six states have introduced measures that would require or encourage elective classes about the Bible. Unlike their forerunners a half-century ago, who were explicit about their evangelical aims, supporters of the new bills insist that the classes seek only to inform people about a central text in American and world history.

Yes, even JAYSUS thinks this is ridiculous oh Dark One! And is anyone surprised that he gets it wrong? I mean if you are, you’re in the wrong church! Can I get an amen??? And if you need any further proof that he can’t get anything right, well, let’s take a look at what he said at last week’s National Prayer Breakfast, for once again we were not invited!!!

With his opening words at this year's National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump made clear he saw the largely conservative crowd as a friendly audience, one he was eager to please.

"I will never let you down," he said. "I can say that. Never."

In his first appearance at the event in 2017, Trump promised to get rid of the Johnson Amendment, a cause popular among those Christians who resent the law's restriction of political speech by pastors. The law is still on the books, and Trump did not repeat the promise this year.

He devoted much of his speech instead to other issues important to conservative Christians, from religious liberty to abortion. He praised Vice President Pence's wife, Karen, for teaching at a conservative Christian school that requires its staff to declare a belief in marriage as "the uniting of one man and one woman," and he pledged support for a government-funded Catholic adoption agency in Michigan.

Did… did he just Rick Roll us? I’m never gonna give you up, I’m never gonna let you down. I’m never gonna run around and desert you. Mass has ended, may you go in peace!! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]NO!
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Happy Valentine’s Day everybody! And you know with the entire country and world taking notice of the victims of sexual assault in the post #MeToo era, what the fuck was Delta Airlines thinking? Yeah we don’t need this right now. I mean yeah you can talk all you want about how Virgin America had that in seat entertainment system where you could buy anyone a drink and that was creepy enough. But do we really need this?

Delta Airlines and Coca-Cola wanted to make the dream of falling in love on a plane a reality. But their approach did not have the intended effect.

As part of Delta’s brand partnership with Coke, the airline handed out promotional in-flight napkins that encouraged passengers to give their number to others on the plane.

On one side of the napkin it read, “Because you’re on a plane with interesting people and hey…you never know.” The other side had space to write down a name and phone number, with the additional text, “Be a little old school. Write down your number and give it to your plane crush. You never know…”

Delta passengers apparently did not take kindly to the approach, and dozens wrote to the brands on social media, calling the stunt “creepy.”

NO!!!!! The airplane is the last place where I’d expect people passing around creepy pick up notes like this! It’s like being on an elevator. You don’t make friends with random strangers on an elevator, you shut the fuck up, stare at the door until you arrive at your destination! Look guys, there’s a fine line between clever and creepy and this definitely crossed that line.

Maybe Delta should stick to flying planes instead of playing matchmaker.
After handing out Coca-Cola napkins suggesting passengers give their name and number to their "plane crush," both companies are apologizing.

It started with 33 words on napkins advertising Diet Coke:

"because you're on a plane of full of interesting people and hey ... you never know," the front teases.

The back nudges further, emitting a shocking amount of peer pressure from a paper square:
"be a little old school. write down your number & give it to your plane crush. you never know ..."
Some passengers, like Terry Pendergist, thought the napkins were "Pretty funny."

Yes get a hold of yourself!!! And by the way if you want to be even more grossed out, Twitter’s worst comedian, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, somehow managed to make it even creepier!


EW!!!!!!!!!!!!! EW EW EW EW EW!!!!! Wait a minute… EW!!I can guarantee that no one wanted to sign up for your daily newsletter, Mike! And you know here’s the thing, it started out like they were thinking it was going to be a good idea, you know, like having a shady billionaire real estate broker with ties to the New York mafia run for president, and well, just like that, it backfired! Big time!

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, some would say this is kinda sweet and a little bit funny. But, as expected, there are some who find the notion behind the napkins just plain creepy.

This latest faux pas comes just days after Delta were accused of discrimination by a deaf couple travelling on the airline.
‘Creepy AF’

Although not many passengers were that keen to hand out their numbers (probably none at all), many failed to see the funny side of the promotion.

A torrent of complaints have rained down on social, with users branding them ‘creepy A

And if things couldn’t possibly be even creepier do we really need your airline playing match maker for you? I mean here’s the thing – falling in love in 2019 is a bit trickier than it was in 1970 when it was much easier to get away with this kind of thing. And sure, going “old school” may seem like a good idea at the time, but really. And in the words of the great Jerry Seinfeld – “Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?”

Falling in love on an airplane is the kind of story you only ever hear in a bar or see in a Lifetime movie. But for a brief time this winter, Delta Air Lines wanted to help passengers make it a reality - by gently nudging them to hit on other passengers.

With cocktail napkins.

"Be a little old school," said the small print on the napkin, advertising Diet Coke. "Write down your number & give it to your plane crush. You never know ..."

There was a little space on the napkin where flirtatious passengers could write down their name and another space for their number. The larger print said, "because you're on a plane full of interesting people and hey," again, "... you never know."

But while some found the napkins clever and charming, others thought they were creepy. In fact, evidently enough complained that Delta and Coca-Cola apologized for the marketing stunt Wednesday, saying the napkins have since been removed from flights.

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[font size="8"]Is It Racist???
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Hey everyone! It’s time to play the hot new game that’s sweeping the nation:

Yeah probably! You know… you know when you have racists in power, you’re going to get a lot of people asking whether or not something is racist. Now that we’re tackling real life racists, we’re also going after fictional ones. As evidenced by the fight with the Simpsons over the fate of Apu. But there’ another character in the news this week that’s making the rounds for a completely bizarre reason. And yes, this story is so insane that Snopes had to fact check it to prove that it was real. So is beloved Disney character Mary Poppins a racist? Was it soot or was it blackface? Well this is where we’re letting you be the judge!

Professor Daniel Pollack-Pelzner accuses the much-loved movie dame of “blacking up” when her face is already covered with soot as she dances alongside Dick Van Dyke.

The iconic scene — accompanied to the tune of Step In Time — is one of the best-loved moments in the 1964 Oscar-winning classic, The Sun reports.

However, writing in the New York Times under the headline ‘Mary Poppins, and a Nanny’s Shameful Flirting With Blackface’ the professor reveals he is not a fan.

He writes: “Her face gets covered with soot, but instead of wiping it off, she gamely powders her nose and cheeks and gets even blacker.”

The English and gender studies professor at Oregon’s Linfield College also refers to passages in P.L. Travers’ original books that he believes are clearly racist.

He singles out a line where a housemaid says: “Don’t touch me, you black heathen,” to a chimney sweep.

And he argues when Admiral Boom shouts orders to fire on the chimney sweeps by yelling: “We’re being attacked by Hottentots!” it is also racist.

“The 1964 film replays this racial panic in a farcical key,” he writes.

You know what? We’re going to forgo our usual meme here and show you the clip:

Oh come on!!!! It’s just dust! It’s not blackface. I think they’re reading too much into the situation, although that’s what we do here so.. really. Yeah this is where we are at in 2019. What? You saw the video from the intro or the segments we’ve done about Gov. Northam – just don’t do blackface! I mean it’s that simple!!! I mean really is it that hard? But what is this guy’s beef with the scene anyways?

An American academic has criticised Mary Poppins for projecting racial stereotypes, saying Dame Julie Andrews’s character wears “blackface” during one scene.

Writing for The New York Times, Professor Daniel Pollack-Pelzner – a gender studies professor at Linfield College, Oregon – sharply criticises the scene where Mary Poppins joins Dick Van Dyke’s chimneysweep Bert to dance on a rooftop. The pair both get covered in soot as the dance number “Step in Time” is performed.

Pollack-Pelzner says that, while the scene may be comic, the author of the Mary Poppins books, PL Travers, often associated chimney sweeps’ blackened faces with racial caricatures.

He points to one scene in Mary Poppins Opens the Door in which a sweep reaches out to a woman with his darkened hand, to which she replies: “Don’t touch me, you black heathen.”

How does that guy play into it? Oh yeah that was making fun of method actors who take things way too far. And while the Gov. Northam scandal is going on, let’s not look past the fact that this movie was filmed in 1963, and that sort of thing wasn’t even thought about. I mean let’s extrapolate that for a minute – does this mean that anyone who comes into contact with a chimney now is wearing blackface? No? Well you might be focusing on the wrong thing then!

First of all, an admission. I've never seen Mary Poppins all the way through. While I know the chorus of Supercalifragilistic-et cetera off by heart – albeit not intentionally – jaunty chimney-sweeps and gaudy nannies just aren't my thing.

(My son, however, has seen Mary Poppins multiple times – apparently never when I've been in the same room.)

But now, an article written by Daniel Pollack-Pelzner in the New York Times has caused a stir by claiming that Mary Poppins is – pause here for a sharp intake of breath – racist.

Oh yes, indeed. Specifically, the professor draws attention to the books on which the film is based, featuring as they do occasional casual racist references that were wholly unexceptional in the mid-20th century. He also highlights visual parallels between the British sub-tradition of music-hall cheeky chappie chimney sweeps and the American tradition of blackface minstrelsy which, he claims, are subtly conflated in Disney's film.

Whoa, whoa, whoa… the original books that Mary Poppins was based on were racist? I did not know this! And we may have to do a deep dive in a future edition. But my favorite thing is the Twittersphere, and you can always count on them to shoot a ridiculous opinion like this down!

A U.S. professor is deeming the classic 1964 film "Mary Poppins" racist, accusing Julie Andrews of "blacking up" her face with soot while dancing with chimney sweeps.

In a New York Times op-ed called "'Mary Poppins,' and a Nanny’s Shameful Flirting With Blackface," Professor Daniel Pollack-Pelzner slammed the iconic dance scene where Poppins joins Dick Van Dyke's Bert on a rooftop for the song "Step In Time."

"When the magical nanny … accompanies her young charges, Michael and Jane Banks, up their chimney, her face gets covered in soot, but instead of wiping it off, she gamely powders her nose and cheeks even blacker," Pollack-Pelzner wrote.

The Linfield College literature professor linked the scene to racism in P.L. Travers' novels, which he claims "associate chimney sweeps’ blackened faces with racial caricatures."

Pollack-Pelzner also took aim at naval officer Admiral Boom, who ordered his cannons fired at the "cheeky devils" on the roof after mistaking the dark figures of the chimney sweeps for "Hottentots," a racial slur.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey its’ the day before Valentines Day and I really need a drink!

So you know the idea behind this segment is that we cocktail and while we’re cocktailing we talk about literally anything in the news that doesn’t directly relate to politics, because there’s a lot of dark shit out there. Tell me bartender, what goes well with a pot of boiling hot water? More boiling hot water? What are you trying to do, kill me? Ah, I will just have my usual Jack Daniels mixed with even more Jack Daniels. Really people enough with the challenges! We had the cinnamon challenge, then the milk chug challenge, then the Tide Pod challenge. Now we have the boiling water challenge! During the polar vortex people were experimenting what happens when you mix boiling hot water with below freezing temperatures. Sure, it starts out innocently enough!

Folks across the country proved this week that subzero temperatures aren't an excuse to just sit inside and sulk.

Add a little boiling water to the outdoor elements and you've got yourself a fun, at-home science experiment.

Dubbed the boiling water challenge, it involves taking a mug or saucepan of boiling water outside and quickly throwing it into the air to watch it instantly transform into snow.

Kids of all ages are having a good time with this one while the weather permits. From cool slow-motion and Boomerang videos displaying their homemade snow, to adding food dye to the water to put on a magical show, people are having fun and being creative with this challenge.

If you're going to try it, just make sure you're doing it safely, away from others.

Read that last sentence very carefully.Do it safely away from others!!! Because when you’re experimenting with boiling hot water, certain precautions should be taken. Just ask any chemist – they will tell you that. And boiling hot water is not a plaything, people!! When you throw it mindlessly in the air, well, this happens!

It's one of the weirdest, most magical-seeming tricks there is: the ability to instantly transform hot, boiling water into an icy mist in the blink of an eye.

This bizarre demonstration of what's called the Mpemba effect might seem like sorcery, but just because you can impressively fling hot, scalding water into the sky above your head doesn't mean you should. In fact, you absolutely, positively shouldn't.

Unfortunately, in the midst of abnormally freezing temperatures in the US resulting from a certain polar vortex anomaly, lots of people are making use of the stunning, cold conditions to take part in a viral 'Boiling Water Challenge': hurling dangerously hot water into the wintry air around them to see what happens.

What happens, lots of the time, is these people get seriously burned when that scalding water lands on their skin – with one hospital outside Chicago announcing it had to treat numerous patients who ill-advisedly attempted the stunt last week.

Yeah so maybe… don’t do this. If you throw boiling hot water into the air and it’s windy outside, you know the wind can carry that water right back to you. It’s physics. Sure, it can turn out beautiful if done properly, but we know the internet. And there’s more fails than those that are done properly. Stop it people, just stop it. Or keep doing what you’re doing.

"Throwing caution to the wind" is a well-known idiom. Throwing boiling hot water to the wind is idiotic.

Nevertheless, the polar vortex has prompted a number of people to do both at the same time. The polar vortex is not polar bears in a washing machine but a meteorological phenomenon. Basically, the vortex has been an expanding low pressure area around the North Pole that has pushed cold air southward to cover much of the U.S. with frigid temperatures last week. For example, temperatures in Chicago fell to 21 degrees below Fahrenheit. Temperatures in Minnesota dropped to "holy hannah" levels. This deep freeze also seemed to lead to some brain freeze and the new "boiling water challenge," not to be confused with the "hot water challenge" which involves dumping boiling hot water on someone as a prank.

You have to figure that connecting the words "boiling water" and social media challenge can't be good. In this case, people are taking pots or cups of boiling water and launching the water into the cold, cold air. The result can be a spectacular frosty mist. But as Tinder will teach you, just because something looks good doesn't mean that it is safe. There are three problems with throwing boiling water into the air: wind, gravity, and, oh, the boiling hot water. As this CBS Chicago news segment shows, this boiling water challenge has landed at least 8 people in the emergency room at the Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, Illinois:

Well I can drink on the job here but you definitely shouldn’t try this at home. And you definitely shouldn’t mix alcohol while doing this. But really nothing good can come of a social media challenge can it? And during the next polar vortex, can we at least learn our lesson from the last one and don’t do this?

It looks cool -- throwing boiling water into the air and watching it instantly freeze in supercold weather -- but don't do it.

The boiling water challenge that has gone viral in the past few weeks as the polar vortex gripped a large part of the United States may be an interesting science experiment, but hospitals say it's also sending people to the emergency room.

Eight people who took part in the challenge have been treated at the burn center of Chicago's Loyola University Medical Center since the deep freeze happened last week, spokeswoman Chris Vicik said.
They had injuries to their "feet, arms, hands, face, and varying degrees of burns, as well," she said.

One person sought treatment at the University of Iowa Burn Treatment Center in Iowa City, spokesman Tom Moore said, and Hennepin Healthcare in Minneapolis said a "couple" of people were treated there in recent weeks.

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 29: The Department Of Housing & Urban Development
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It’s time for episode 29 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Department of Housing & Urban Development[/font]

We’re hanging out in the projects this week as we visit the Department of Housing & Urban Development, or the HUD. So what does the HUD actually do? Well it was started under president Lyndon Johnson in accordance with the National Housing Act proposed and ratified by president Franklin Roosevelt. The HUD’s job is to provide housing assistance for those in need, and to help end homelessness but as we’ve seen time and time again, those assistance programs can be easily abused, and there’s plenty of ways that the uber rich can abuse this program. Just ask the guy who we currently call president. Just take a look at who’s in charge right now.

After saying that the government shutdown delayed her plans, Department of Housing and Urban Development Regional Administrator Lynne Patton is moving into New York City’s public housing for one month. Patton, who once organized events for members of the Trump family (including Eric Trump’s wedding), was appointed by HUD Secretary Ben Carson in 2017 to oversee the country’s largest public housing system despite having zero housing experience.

On Facebook, Patton said she would be living in four different properties with four different families. “I have my own inflatable bed, towel, portable chargers, and will be purchasing all groceries for the family for the duration, so not to generate any undue expenses.”

The move comes on the heels of a historic deal between the New York City Housing Authority and HUD. In the coming weeks, HUD will be selecting a federal monitor who will report directly to HUD but be paid by the city to oversee the ailing public housing system. New York needs a whopping $32 billion in capital repairs to fix the buildings that house more than 400,000 residents. The NYCHA was subjected to a federal investigation after several scandals, including residents living without heat for years and reports that children were exposed to lead paint.

Patton’s first stop on her public housing tour is the Patterson Houses in the South Bronx. Residents and Patton complained that the NYCHA was taking steps to clean up the property simply because of the high-profile visit. “As I anticipated and declared in countless interviews leading up to my move-in,” she wrote on Facebook, “NYCHA is making immediate repairs on the ground (as they do whenever I come to visit one of their properties—lobbies are cleaned, trash is picked up, elevators work, etc).”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That’s right! Trump put the woman in charge who planned Eric’s wedding. And you’re probably asking – wait, Eric is married? What the what??? Yup, but we’ll save that for a different topic. But as you know, the HUD was previously run by Ben Carson. And how did that go?

On Jan. 31, Mayor Bill de Blasio and Ben Carson, the secretary of the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development, struck a deal that subjected the New York City Housing Authority to federal oversight without any commitment of new federal funding.

“I think that it is not a good agreement for Nycha and for the city,” Mr. Brezenoff, the outgoing Nycha chairman, said in an interview.

Mr. Brezenoff, an ally of Mr. de Blasio who was hailed in April by the mayor as “one of the great public servants in the last generation,” said he believed the deal was unfair.

It was bad for New Yorkers, he said, especially for the more than 400,000 who are living in dilapidated public housing riddled with problems, from leaks to heating issues and vermin. It let the federal government off the hook.

Yes, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn indeed! Of course only Trump is the opposite of King Midas in that everything he touches turns to shit! Although there is something interesting that might be a good social experiment is that Lynne Patton is going to actually live in HUD housing for a month. It will be interesting to see where this goes, and if she will have a different opinion of her boss upon emerging.

An administrator for the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development has moved into a Bronx NYCHA building, prepared to live in public housing for a month to see the ailments for herself.

Lynne Patton arrived at the Paterson Houses Monday with her air mattress, towels and grocery money. She's planning to stay in four different NYCHA buildings across the city for one week each.

"I'm hoping that by being here, at the very least it sends a sense of urgency that not only can changes every day be made, they must be made," she said.

She said that moving in was no political stunt and that she wants to see firsthand what exactly is wrong.

So………… this is happening! And I’m sure that Lynne will find absolutely nothing wrong at all with how things are going in inner city housing. I mean you know things are fucked up when you have $85 million allocated for one city and it’s still not enough! Maybe, I don’t know, the rent is too damn high? Yes, shout out to that guy by the way!

The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) announced it was sending more funds to the Sunshine State to help battle homelessness.

U.S. HUD Sec. Ben Carson announced at the end of last week his department was sending an additional $6.7 million to back 47 new programs across the state in addition to the almost $79 million going to 250 other programs in Florida that he announced last month.

“Combined, this funding represents a record investment to support state and local efforts across the nation to reduce and end homelessness,” HUD noted on Friday.

“Today we make another critical investment to those persons and families living in our shelters and on our streets,” Carson said on Friday. “These new programs will join those already on the front lines in their communities working to end homelessness.”

With more than $85 million headed to almost 250 homeless programs in Florida, there are some signs on success.

At the end of last year, HUD noted that communities across Florida reported homelessness declined in 2018.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: C-
How Things Are Going: B-
Likely hood To Survive: C

Overall: C-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Speaking of disasters, next week we’re taking disasters head on in the face of adversary as we visit the Federal Emergency Management Agency, or FEMA!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Muse[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen I am extremely excited to have my next guest on, they need no introduction, their latest album is called “Simulation Theory” and you can see them March 11th at the Forum! Playing their song called “Pressure”, give it up for the one, the only Muse!

Thank you Oxnard! Happy Valentine’s Day Everybody! We’re off to Ontario next. Yes, the Top 10 is hanging out in the 909! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Levity Live, Oxnard, CA
Special Thanks To: Levity Live Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Ventura College Choir Club
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Research: Top 10 Research Department
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Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Muse Appear Courtesy Of: Warner Bros. Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Feb 13, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-5: Curb Your Kasich Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-5: Curb Your Kasich Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! First off Happy Chinese New Year everybody! Yes, it’s the year of the Pig and that’s not counting our pig headed president. He’s just naturally that way. We won't get to cover the SOTU this week because there's a lot to take in and it will take days to unpack the bullshit from it, but it was summed up perfectly by one of Trump's guests of honor:

Well, hey,we were all thinking it! It is good to be home everybody! We have been touring the country the last few weeks but we will be back home for the next few weeks. Can we have a do over on the Super Bowl please? Yeah no not only am I not happy with the outcome, there was nothing memorable about it. It was one of the most boring, dull, uninspiring games ever, the halftime show sucked, and even the commercials weren't memorable at all. Hell Cher’s tweet about Adam Lavine’s body tattoo was more memorable than the entire halftime show. Shit, more people were interested in This Is Us than they were about the game, I mean who wants to see the Patriots win again? Oh and Patriots fans, you know I’d stop referring to them as the “Evil Empire” if Bill Belichick didn’t look like Count Doku. Seriously, look it up. I’m actually with the Saints fans who didn’t watch and protested the game this year. Hey, I had a team in it and I thought that this was one of the worst ever. And speaking of the Saints fans protest, I love New Orleans by the way – they can turn just about anything into a giant party. I mean shit, this is the city that puts the “fun” in “funeral”, someone dies and they turn it into a giant block party with music and dancing. And of course booze, you can’t forget the booze – it flows pretty freely in NOLA. They are definitely not letting this one go either – the official NOLA paper even printed on their front page “Super Bowl? What Super Bowl?”. Was there a game going on or something? Oh well the NFL definitely deserved what they got because this was one of the lowest rated Super Bowls in history. Hell, it was an all time new low. Oh yeah and fuck the Patriots, hopefully the Saints can beat the shit out of them next year. OK enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back and he does a deep dive into the one thing that Trump really needs to build a wall around:

Ed. Note – we are *NOT* going to cover the horrifying and awful assault of Empire star Jussie Smollett, at least not this week. Another example of a story too horrifying to make fun of, even if it involves MAGAts. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Where do we begin this week? Well we begin with the Christian right’s favorite subject – the apocalypse! And while there’s many ways we could predict the apocalypse is going to happen , catastrophic weather wasn’t one at the time of the Bible. And Donald Trump (1) is showing how much he cares about the extreme climate changes. In the second slot this week is Foxconn (2) – yes the behemoth Chinese manufacturing conglomerate responsible for giving us suicide nets is coming to Wisconsin! Well, sort of. But Wisconsin workers are getting “Art Of The Deal”’d. Yeah. At number 3 this week is John Kasich (3). In case you don’t know who he is, he’s the former governor of Ohio and former presidential candidate, and this week some new light has been shed on his character after he got bumped from a flight, and he’s doing his best Larry David imitation. In the fourth slot this week, we’re going to play the new game that is sweeping the nation – “IS IT RACIST????” (4) starring Virginia governor and guy currently digging his own political grave, Ralph Northram! So is it racist? Yeah probably! For the number 5 slot this week is our weekly investigative piece “Top 10 Investigates” and this week we’re going to take a look at one of our favorite topics – cell phone spying, and particularly yet another security flaw discovered in iOS’s Facetime application. How safe is it? We will find out! In our number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week, our resident pastor is going to find out if opponents of the Dark One’s MAGA lifestyle are really the demon spawn of Satan? Yeah probably. For the 7th slot this week we have an all new edition of Beating A Dead Horse (7), and if you’re thinking of boycotting Starbucks in the wake of Howard Schultz announcing his run as an independent, giving your money to another billionaire isn’t going to work. For the number 8 slot we have a new installment of “How Is This Still A Thing” and after two years of just nonsense typos, and not using spellcheck once, we’re going to ask “Donald Trump’s Twitter Typos: How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new edition of “I Need A Drink”. So last week Netflix debuted a docu-bio picture about serial killer Ted Bundy, and we have to get to the bottom of whether or not Ted Bundy is hot. Finally this week our next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries (10) is going to hang out with the Drug Enforcement Agency! Plus we have some live music from our good friends Weezer! Yes, the almighty Rivers and company have graced us with their presence. Really if you don’t have their awesome new covers album Teal Album you’re doing it wrong. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die!!!! So the extreme weather entity known as the “polar vortex” has been rearing its’ ugly head and quite literally turning weather upside down all over the world. Cold is hot, hot is cold, it’s raining and snowing heavily everywhere. And maybe, just maybe, it might be finally time to talk about climate change! Well, at least not if you saw the shit spewing from @realDonaldTrump’s twitter feed last week. Can we throw that tweet up there?


So much wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin! And you know with all of this, I thought there was a giant crisis. Anyone remember that? Well…


Dude, not even last week, you literally said that there's a border crisis and that you're ready to declare a national emergency to get your precious wall. Oh well I guess playtime is more important! I mean next thing you know Trump will be fighting for a position on the monkey bars, you know, assuming he can pull his fat ass up enough to climb them! OK enough about Trump’s tweets for a minute. You know what is really crazy? His lack of common sense on the environment. And tonight is the State Of The Union – will Trump address the 800 pound gorilla in the room?

There is little chance that President Trump will address climate change in his State of the Union speech. But climate change will likely become a part of tonight's events, no matter what the president says — or doesn't.

In both of his previous addresses to Congress, Trump all but ignored the threat of a hotter planet — never once uttering the phrases "climate change" or "global warming." The issue is as politicized as ever, and Trump has spent his first two years as president rolling back or weakening many of former President Obama's climate policies.

But in his speech this year, Trump faces a new Congress, one where emboldened Democrats control the House. And he'll be talking to an American public that is more worried than ever about global warming. In the last year, concern over climate change has increased among Democrats, independents and Republicans, driven by images of natural disasters, recent polls have shown.

About 12 hours after Trump ends his address, NOAA and NASA will announce that last year was the fourth-warmest year since modern record-keeping began, coming behind only the previous three years.

Oh yeah so much winning! And if ignoring climate change is what one would consider winning you should see some of the ways climate change could potentially kill us all, but we don’t have time to list them all here. What? We have this thing called Google!!! Oh and if you’re like me and not all surprised that states that voted for Trump are the ones who are going to be the most affected, you are in the wrong hallway, guys!

Forests decimated by drought and wildfire from Montana to California. Homes blasted by hurricanes and flooding from North Carolina to Texas.

Climate change, according to scientists, is already fueling natural disasters across the United States, causing billions of dollars worth of devastation.

Now a new report from UC San Diego and the Brookings Institution predicts the states that could suffer the harshest economic toll from global warming are those that voted for President Donald Trump and other conservative politicians opposed to reining in greenhouse gases.

“The damages to the Republican-electing congressional districts is almost double what it is for the Democratic-voting districts,” said David Victor, a researcher at UC San Diego’s School of Global Policy and Strategy and a prominent contributor to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

“The political alignment around climate impacts is almost the exact opposite of the political alignment around emissions control,” he added.

Yeah so even my home state is affected, but Trump supporters probably don’t care about that, and you know what? If you are bashing my state so much and you live here, get the fuck out! We wont miss you even slightly! And by the way does someone want to teach Trump about how it works? Oh wait, who am I kidding? This is the Trump administration! Facts don’t matter!

President Trump has been a longtime opponent of taking action on climate change, as evidenced by everything from his accusation that the phenomenon is a “hoax” created by China to his decision to pull the U.S. out of the Paris Agreement.

There are many reasons Trump may be against addressing climate change, but one thing is clear: he doesn’t understand the science behind it.

On Monday, the President took to Twitter to repeat a joke he frequently makes during winter weather events — this time the record-breaking, polar vortex-caused cold that’s sweeping the midwest this week — as a reason climate change cannot be real.

Weather refers to the atmospheric conditions at a particular place and time. At this very moment, the weather in the midwest is freezing cold, with major snowstorms.

Climate refers to the long-term atmospheric patterns in a particular area. It may hit -20°F in the midwest this week, but over the long term, the average temperature is expected to rise, as is the frequency of days with extreme high temperatures. In fact, the National Climate Assessment, a landmark report released last year following a collaboration between more than a dozen federal agencies, shows that those trends are “higher for the Midwest than in any other region of the United States.”

You know Time, don’t bother trying to educate Trump on how the weather works, because he most likely doesn’t care and won’t listen. I mean there’s everyone from Arnold Schwarzenegger to kids trying to educate Trump on climate change. Yes, kids!!!!

No, despite the cold snap, the Midwest does not need more warming. Ever since President Trump’s infamous “Global Waming” tweet, a lot of folks have been chiming in to set the record straight. NOAA. Cable TV hosts. Bill Nye. But two adorable kids just stole the freaking show.

On Jimmy Kimmel Live! Tuesday night, 10-year-old Kaitlynn and 8-year-old Apollo took turns breaking down basic science for the president of the United States. As Kaitlynn put it: “Don’t get angry, Mr. President — it’s just science.”

Kaitlynn handled the greenhouse effect, while Apollo patiently explained the difference between weather and climate: “Even though it’s cold where you are, that doesn’t mean the globe isn’t heating up.”

Kaitlynn stressed that the many consequences of climate change are going to make the world pretty rough for people her age — and that includes Trump’s 12-year-old son, Barron.

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[font size="8"]Foxconn Wisconsin
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Anyone remember last year when conservatives were so quick to flash their cash in front of us when they got those $1,000 bonuses? Well who’s laughing now? Also remember when Trump was touting the idea of bringing Chinese mega manufacturing conglomerate Foxconn to the States? Yes, Foxconn, the behemoth Chinese manufacturer of nearly everything we use that contains an on / off switch that gave us unsatisfactory working conditions, extreme labor and human rights violations, and worker suicide nets is coming to America! Woooooooooooooooooo!!!! Wooo. Yeah you might not be so excited after finding out what they have been up to this week.

In 2017, Foxconn promised Wisconsin an enormous state-of-the-art factory, staffed by thousands of workers, all making screens for 75-inch TVs. The building would be the “eighth wonder of the world,” President Trump declared at a groundbreaking ceremony with gold-plated shovels last summer. Then, the Taiwan-based company announced that it would actually be a far smaller factory, making screens about half the size, with more jobs in “knowledge work” than in manufacturing.

Now, it is unclear whether there will be a factory at all.

On Wednesday, Louis Woo, special assistant to Foxconn chief executive Terry Gou, told Reuters that the company was rethinking the whole screen-making idea. “In Wisconsin we’re not building a factory,” Woo said. He explained that Foxconn can’t compete producing televisions in the US. Instead, it would be more profitable to manufacture LCD panels in China and Japan, ship them to Mexico, and import them in the US. On Thursday, the Nikkei Asian Review reported that work on the Wisconsin project had been suspended.

Later that day, Woo appeared to backtrack vaguely, sending a peculiar email to the Milwaukee TV station WTMJ suggesting that it was hard to know what to call the project. “No matter how we look at it, the campus cannot be simply described as a factory,” Woo wrote. “It is a lot more than that.” (Update: Friday afternoon, Foxconn said that after a conversation with Trump, it had decided to build an LCD factory in Wisconsin after all, but gave no timeline for the project.)

Yeah so Foxconn was going to pull out of Wisconsin entirely, but they decided to go ahead with it, because, Trump. so I guess this is the Art Of The Deal? And by the way if you think Huawei has been caught with their pants down in the spying department, wait until Foxconn comes over here!

In 2017, the Taiwanese electronics company Foxconn promised the state of Wisconsin 13,000 jobs, many of them in manufacturing, in return for what now amounts to a $4 billion subsidy: the largest in U.S history. It now seems unlikely that Foxconn will make good on its pledge, especially for blue-collar jobs. Having already downsized the expected plant once, Foxconn told Reuters last week the factory project was off and then denied this days later in a statement.

The statement also mentioned “expand(ing) our investment in American talent in Wisconsin.” On that front, the company has been active: Foxconn has been integrating itself into the revenue-desperate state university system for years.

Now, university students worry that the intellectual property that comes out of their hard work might end up in the pockets of the corporate behemoth.

In August, the company announced a $100 million research institution at the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s engineering graduate school, the largest private partnership in school history. The investment will refit a university building for the Foxconn Institute for Research in Science and Technology (FIRST), where research will span everything from biochips and supercomputing to robotics and artificial intelligence.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, that’s strangely appropriate because you know that whenever Trump says or does anything, the opposite happens, right? He’s a literal exact opposite of King Midas in that everything he touches turns to shit! Foxconn really is no different and they’re already making a bad deal worse. Just how bad is it?

Absolutely no one should have been surprised that the fantasy of an imaginary high-tech Foxconn factory three times the size of the Pentagon and transforming Wisconsin into a jobs-gushing Silicon Valley of the Midwest suddenly began vanishing into thin air last week. The only surprising part was that the deal started coming apart even before Foxconn—a Taiwanese company producing liquid-crystal display TV and computer screens—could collect any of the $4 billion in state and local taxpayer subsidies former Republican Gov. Scott Walker foolishly committed to pay the company throughout the next 15 years—the largest state tax giveaway in U.S. history.

Seriously, did anyone other than Walker’s Republican co-conspirators in the Legislature ever really believe all those preposterous claims about Foxconn turning Racine County into Walt Disney’s Tomorrowland, with Tinkerbell flying overhead sprinkling fairy dust? The initial announcement was a 2017 Walker re-election stunt at the White House featuring Walker, Donald Trump and Foxconn Chairman Terry Gou—three notorious public liars well-known for promising enormous jobs numbers that never materialized.

The centerpiece of Walker 2010 campaign was an incredible political promise to create 250,000 jobs in his first term, which he still hadn’t achieved when voters finally sent him packing eight years later. Trump’s blizzard of well-documented lies by The Washington Post increased to 15-a-day in 2018, tripling his 2017 world record. It wasn’t easy, but Gou put them both to shame. Gou had broken promises to spend billions of dollars throughout the world that, he claimed, would create tens of thousands of jobs in Brazil, India, Vietnam and Indonesia. Gou’s only prior U.S. fabrication was a 2013 promise to invest $30 million creating 300 high-tech jobs in Pennsylvania. It never happened.

Uh… that your deals are bogus? And by the way if Trump is a dirty dealer and the Wisconsin deal is a dirty deal, what does that mean for other cities who might be trying to woo Foxconn or other behemoth manufacturers to their cities? Let’s just say buyer beware!

One year ago, the Taiwanese electronics company Foxconn scored a blockbuster $4 billion economic development deal to build a manufacturing plant in Mount Pleasant, in southeastern Wisconsin, promising to invest $10 billion in a plant that would create 13,000 jobs. Last week, Foxconn announced it may dramatically cut back hiring plans—even after city and county governments bought out local homeowners via eminent domain.

“This news is devastating for the taxpayers of Wisconsin,” said Wisconsin Rep. Gordon Hintz, one of several local leaders who swiftly condemned the corporate pivot. “We were promised manufacturing jobs. We were promised state-of-the-art LCD production. We were promised a game-changing economic opportunity for our state. And now, it appears Foxconn is living up to their failed track record in the U.S.—leaving another state and community high and dry.”

The exact contours of the plan remain unclear, leading some observers to claim Foxconn has pulled a “bait-and-switch.”

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[font size="8"]John Kasich
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We need some music for this one!

Last week, a new book came out about former Ohio governor, presidential candidate and guy who is doing his best to channel his inner Larry David, John Kasich, ran into a bit of a scuffle with a comedian who was on the same flight he was. It turns out the former governor was bumped from a flight and got into a spat with the star of a Hulu show called “Difficult People” and was pulling his inner Larry David and complaining that he got bumped to coach class. The horror! For the record, let’s call this piece “Curb Your Kasich”.

A comedian on Friday told the full story of her recent encounter with former Ohio Gov. John Kasich, whom she says stole her seat aboard an Alaska Airlines flight from New York to San Francisco when he was bumped.

Julie Klausner, known for the Hulu sitcom “Difficult People,” said the Republican was an “obnoxious” flight companion on her podcast, “How Was Your Week?”

She said a pilot needed to fly last-minute aboard the plane and bumped Kasich out of his seat, according to Cleveland.com. But instead of taking the downgraded seat he was assigned, the former presidential candidate took the comedian’s, the outlet reported.

Klausner, who identifies as a liberal, said once she read up on Kasich — and his political views — she decided to post about the incident on Twitter.


Yeah we can assume it was pretty much like that. So John Kasich may have been channeling his inner Larry David by refusing to fly coach. But as you peel back the layers of this story, it gets weirder and weirder, because, why wouldn’t it?

Earlier in the month Alaska Airlines needed to bump a passenger from first class on a New York JFK to San Francisco flight for a pilot traveling to a duty assignment. The passenger they downgraded to economy was John Kasich, who just finished serving 8 years as Governor of Ohio and who sought the Republican nomination for President in 2016.

Only Governor Kasich didn’t leave the first class cabin, he sat down in another passenger’s seat instead.

Passenger Julie Klausner agreed to take a later flight rather than engage the drama. Alaska Airlines reimbursed the cost of the margherita flatbread she purchased while waiting an extra four hours.

It’s been reported that Kasich was asked to move to extra legroom coach (‘premium’) and also to 12F which I don’t think is an extra legroom seat on any Alaska aircraft (and we know that since this wasn’t the last flight of the day on the route that the aircraft was an Airbus A320). Here’s where he sat instead.

And by the way does anyone else find it ironic that Kasich picked a fight with the star of a show called “Difficult People”? Seems like Kasich just gave Klausner and the Difficult People writers some material for the next few episodes!

A comedian on her way to San Francisco from New York City earlier this month said former Ohio Governor John Kasich took her first class airplane seat after Alaska Airlines staff moved him to a new seat in economy class.

Julie Klausner, who appears in the Hulu sitcom "Difficult People" said she was surprised to find Kasich in seat 1D on her morning Alaska Airlines flight from John F. Kennedy Airport to San Francisco.

Kasich recently finished a second term as Ohio's governor. He also sought the Republican nomination for President during the 2016 election.

Gate agents told Klausner a pilot who needed to travel last-minute had been given Kasich's original first class seat. Alaska agents re-assigned Kasich to a seat behind the curtain in its extra-legroom economy cabin, Premium Class.

But the politician instead sat down in an unoccupied first class seat, which ended up being Klausner's.

Oh and by at least some good came out of this incident, and for a cause that a pro-life conservative like Kasich would absolutely fucking hate! So Klausner decided to use this story for good instead of bad and raised a lot of money for Planned Parenthood!

Comedian Julie Klausner has raised thousands of dollars for Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio after reportedly losing her seat on a cross-country flight to former Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R), an abortion opponent.

Klausner, a California-based comedian best known for her role on the Hulu series “Difficult People,” posted on social media earlier this month that she lost her spot on an Alaska Airlines flight from New York to San Francisco after Kasich’s original seat was occupied by a pilot flying last minute, according to Cleveland.com.

Kasich was then moved to her what had been Klausner's seat, prompting her to take a separate flight, according to her account.

Klausner said that when she began getting insulted and criticized on social media for her depiction of the incident, she decided to donate $1 to Planned Parenthood of Ohio for every comment — both positive and negative — posted on her social media accounts.

On Tuesday she posted PayPal receipts on Twitter showing her donation of $2,774 to Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio.

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[font size="8"]Is It Racist?
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Hey everyone! It’s time for the new game that’s sweeping the nation!

IS IT RACIST???? Yeah probably! Well the reason why we’re playing this fun game is that racism is once again rearing its’ big ugly head in the news so we need to dissect and analyze the big stories that are impacting everyone. This week we are literally watching the exact procedure in which one would dig their political career’s grave. Yes, of course I’m talking about newly minted Virginia governor Ralph Northam and the political hit job against him. But the way this whole thing is being handled is what one would call “poorly”.

Controversy swirled over the weekend after a racist photo in Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam's medical school yearbook surfaced.

The photo, which pictured a person in blackface and a person dressed in a Ku Klux Klan robe, was featured on Northam's page in a 1984 yearbook. Northam, a Democrat, initially apologized for being in the photo, then later said he did not believe he was pictured.

Despite calls for his resignation from several members of his own party, the Democrat is standing his ground and has refused to leave office.

Here's a breakdown of how we got here:

The photograph was first discovered Friday afternoon by the conservative news outlet Big League Politics. It was one of several published on Northam's medical school yearbook page from Eastern Virginia Medical School from 1984, the year he graduated. The school confirmed the photo's authenticity and provided a copy of the page to USA TODAY.

True, Eddie, very true! But really… who has a medical school yearbook? And second, what the fuck was that editor thinking? And really if you think about it, this is the same kind of shit that forced Al Franken to resign and got James Gunn fired. And by the way I think we’re starting to notice a pattern between people who think the KKK is funny and people who have previously appeared in blackface. Coincidence?

The political world is feeling the shockwaves of the racist photo discovered on the 1984 medical school yearbook page of Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, who is being pressed – even by fellow Democrats – to resign.

Those with a sense for race relations in the state and the time when the yearbook was published are no less indignant, but their astonishment is tempered by a sense of history.

The photo, depicting a person in blackface next to another person in a Ku Klux Klan robe, is offensive. Unheard of? Not quite.

Northam has done himself no favors with his changing explanations, first apologizing for being in the picture and then saying he wasn’t in it at all but acknowledging he once wore blackface when imitating Michael Jackson in a dance contest.

So let’s go through the list. Wore a KKK outfit? Check. Appeared in blackface? Check. Didn’t think blackface wasn’t appropriate at the time? Check. Also lived in Virginia before the internet? Checkity check check! Yeah he’s probably a racist. But should he resign? Let’s take a look at the other side of the issue.

The photo from Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam’s medical school yearbook page showing a picture of a man wearing blackface and another in a Ku Klux Klan hood was first posted on the conservative news site Big League News. According to the Wall Street Journal, that site was founded in 2017 by Patrick Howley, who previously worked for Breitbart and The Daily Caller. But the GOP connections go deeper than that.

“Big League doesn’t shy away from the fact that it is partial to America First Trumpism,” Fritsch told the Journal. “We have criticized Trump in the past, but most of our stuff—like the mainstream media liked to see Barack [Obama] and Hillary [Clinton] succeed, but they don’t tell you—we like to see America First succeed. There’s no beating around the bush.”

To be clear, the source of the photo doesn’t change the fact that it’s deeply offensive and racist, and that Northam should resign. (The fact that he hasn’t could be damaging to the Democratic Party as a whole.) But it’s worth knowing who first discovered this photo and why.

One under-discussed element of this story is what was happening in Virginia politics in the days before the photo came out.

OK so let’s recap. Media company that touts “America First Trumpism” and promotes MAGA conspiracy theories and is hostile to democratic causes takes down a democratic governor with a medical school yearbook picture? Nah, that can’t be coincidence. And speaking of coincidence, you can’t say that “it’s you” because of a yearbook scandal from just one year. But if your school has to ban yearbooks because of multiple racist scandals, then yeah, it’s you.

Talk about history repeating itself over and over. In 2013, the provost of Eastern Virginia Medical School—which in 1984 printed a yearbook page for future Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam that contained a racist, recently resurfaced photo—banned future editions of the yearbook because people couldn’t stop being super racist, the Washington Post reported Monday.

Provost Richard Homan didn’t can the yearbook after Northam’s year—when his page, which is now the subject of calls for him to resign, featured a photo of a person in blackface and someone in Klan garb. But he opted to end the yearbook’s printing because of a different racist photo from a 2013 edition depicting three white students dressed in Confederate uniforms and standing in front of the Confederate battle flag.

Homan, who spoke with the Post after an emergency meeting with the school’s Board of Visitors on Monday, said he recalled at the time telling Mekbib Gemeda, the school’s new vice president for diversity and inclusion, that the students in the 2013 Confederate photo should be counseled and given sensitivity training. He also banned future yearbooks, saying the books were typically made by students with little faculty review. Homan did not, however, review previous editions of the medical school’s yearbook to see if, perhaps, something like this had happened before.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Facetime Spying
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

In the 21st century, we live in a world now where there are more cell phones than people. In fact the subject of cell phone spying has been an extremely popular one among well, just about everybody. Even the cell phone giant Huawei has been busted on it multiple times, which prompts iPhone owners to say something along the lines of “Well, at least I don’t own a Huawei!”. Well you might want to add your iPhone to that list, because there was a new flaw discovered in the iPhone Facetime app that has Apple scrambling for answers.

Apple issued an apology Friday for a massive FaceTime app glitch that allowed users to hear or see a person they were calling into a group chat, even if that person hadn’t accepted the call.

“We sincerely apologize to our customers who were affected and all who were concerned about this security issue,” Apple said in a statement to CNBC. “We appreciate everyone’s patience as we complete this process.”

Apple temporarily disabled Group FaceTime on Tuesday, expecting to relaunch the feature this week. Although the company asserted in today’s statement that is has identified and fixed the “security bug,” it won’t issue be issuing a software update or re-enable the feature until next week.

The eavesdropping glitch was first reported to Apple’s by 14-year-old Grant Thompson, first discovered the issue nine days before the tech giant commented on the bug. According to CNN, Thompson’s mother, Michele, “reported the issue to Apple in multiple ways, from email and phone calls to sending the company a fax, but it failed to respond.”

Even if you think your cell phone could be spying on you, chances are good that it probably is. In fact cyber security experts are calling this a “nightmare scenario”. And this even comes as a time when Apple is losing significant market share of the iPhone. So the timing of this couldn’t possibly be any worse for the company.

It was a tin-foil hatted conspiracy theorist’s wildest prognostication come true: the trusty and beloved iPhones that accompany users to work, to bed and even to the toilet suddenly transformed into an all-purpose spying device, transmitting audio and video to anyone with your phone number or email.

“This is the nightmare scenario,” said Marcus Carey, a cybersecurity expert and author of Tribe of Hackers. “It does incite privacy fears because this is the same scenario that most people fear from the US government and other regimes.”

The bug, which was publicized Monday, transmitted audio (and, under certain circumstances, video) to a caller despite the recipient not having accepted the call. It was triggered when the initial caller added a third person to a FaceTime call. Though Apple has yet to issue a software patch, the company has disabled group chatting on FaceTime, preventing users from further exploiting the bug.

But the major flaw in FaceTime has raised concerns about Apple’s security practices just as the company reports disappointing financial results. And reports that a teenager and his mother spent days attempting to alert Apple to the problem have also raised questions about the company’s procedures for receiving reports of vulnerabilities.

But cell phone spying isn’t just a concern for conspiracy theorists and your crazy aunt who watches network news all day, it’s a serious concern for the government. In fact the state of New York is launching an investigation into the bug. And if you have such a phone then you might want to disable it until a fix is found.

New York state Attorney General Letitia James has launched an investigation into the circumstances of Apple’s recent FaceTime bug. The bug, which allowed callers to listen and watch through a phone’s camera before a call was picked up, became public on Monday, and Apple has since disabled the relevant feature. The AG’s office will be focusing on Apple’s slow response to the bug, which was reported to the company more than a week before it became public.

“This FaceTime breach is a serious threat to the security and privacy of the millions of New Yorkers who have put their trust in Apple and its products over the years,” James said in a statement. “New Yorkers shouldn’t have to choose between their private communications and their privacy rights.”

The move comes just two days after New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo issued a consumer alert about the bug, warning citizens to disable FaceTime until a fix could be deployed. “The FaceTime bug is an egregious breach of privacy that puts New Yorkers at risk,” Cuomo said. “I am deeply concerned by this irresponsible bug that can be exploited for unscrupulous purposes.”

The bug has also attracted attention at the federal level where many legislators have been pushing for a comprehensive new data privacy bill. Shortly after news of the bug broke, Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) called it “a clear violation of consumers’ privacy protections and a reminder of why we need comprehensive privacy legislation.”


However, whether or not Apple will actually get around to fixing this latest flaw remains to be seen and even the company itself has remained iffy on the issue. Will it be fixed or will it wont? In fact even the House Of Representatives is demanding that Apple answer for this latest SNAFU. And even Tim Cook himself isn’t sure when it will be fixed and this could be a huge problem.

Top House Democrats are demanding answers from Apple CEO Tim Cook after a bug in the company’s FaceTime program allowed users to listen in on other devices even if their call hadn’t been accepted.

Rep. Frank Pallone Jr. (D-N.J.), the chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, and Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-Ill.), who leads the panel’s consumer protection subcommittee, wrote to Cook on Tuesday expressing concern about the vulnerability that Apple says it fixed last week.

“As such, we are writing to better understand when Apple first learned of this security flaw, the extent to which the flaw has compromised consumers’ privacy, and whether there are other undisclosed bugs that currently exist and have not been addressed,” the two Democrats wrote.

The flaw was discovered by a 14-year-old in Arizona on January 19, according to reports. More than a week later, Apple disabled the FaceTime Group feature where the bug was present and announced a fix on February 1.

We will keep an eye on this issue as it develops but for now that’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know we don’t like to talk about the unholy, ungodly Dark One who is currently occupying the highest office in the land. And we most certainly do not speak his name in my church! Or his ungodly, sinful lifestyle employed by his followers. But what happens when they think that opponents of their ungodly, sinful lifestyle are the spawns of SAYTAN? This is one of those things that is really head scratching. Especially when our good book says that the Dark One shall pose as a creature of light, and that is exactly what he is doing, my friends!

A group of Trump-supporting “prophets” rallied prayer warriors last Thursday night to defend Trump’s push for a wall on the Southern border, denouncing his political opponents and media critics as demonic forces out to undermine God’s plan for the nation.

The conference call was hosted by Frank Amedia, a Trump campaign adviser who created—at God’s instruction, he says—POTUS Shield, a “prophetic” network conceived to wage spiritual warfare on behalf of Trump and his supposedly divine mission to shift the U.S. Supreme Court to the right. The call, which lasted more than an hour, was held the night before Trump agreed to sign legislation re-opening the federal government for three weeks while negotiations continue on border security funding.

On the call, Amedia and other speakers portrayed the gridlock and partial government shutdown as part of a nefarious strategy to not only destroy Trump’s presidency but also to strip the nation of its identity and sovereignty. Jerry Boykin, a retired general who is both executive vice president of the Family Research Council and a member of the POTUS Shield council, spoke on the call and said he had been at a meeting with Trump the day before and said the president “is not going to back down.”

Boykin called opposition to Trump—reflected in the “hatred” he said was “spewed” toward the MAGA-hat-wearing Catholic school boys whose interactions with a Native American elder provoked intense controversy on social media— “diabolical” and “spiritual to the nth degree.” Boykin said the government shutdown was terrible and that it would require the Lord himself to intervene to end it.

You know I’m pretty sure that the good LAWRD has better things to do than this nonsense. But I know his followers definitely don’t have anything better to do. So why are we the spawns of SAYTAN and he and his followers are GAWD’s anointed? That makes no sense does it? Can I get an amen????

Media outlets and social media were buzzing this week about White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders’ Wednesday interview on the Christian Broadcasting Network, during which she said that God wanted Donald Trump to be president.

Here’s a new flash: Since the earliest days of his presidential campaign, Trump has been hearing from Religious Right leaders, including his personal “spiritual adviser” Paula White, that he was chosen and anointed by God to be president; they routinely portray his 2016 victory as miraculous—the direct result of divine intervention.

The Christian Broadcasting Network is every bit as much a pro-Trump propaganda outlet as Fox News, with the added bonus of promoting Trump as God’s anointed. The same can be said for the Pentecostal media platform, Charisma, and other conservative Christian media networks.

And if Trump is God’s chosen instrument, Religious Right leaders repeatedly tell their followers, it follows that Trump’s opponents—including his “deep state” enemies—are opposing God and are in league with Satan’s demonic forces of darkness.

So where is this nonsense coming from? You know we had to trace back a bit to see where it was coming from, and this might be one of the sources. Apparently after all this madness started, it was revealed that the Dark One was receiving “downloads” that proved that he was “god’s anointed”. Is that code for something? I don’t know.

Frank Amedia, who was a volunteer “Christian policy liaison” for Donald Trump’s presidential campaign before launching a project with fellow “prophets” to create a “POTUS Shield” around Trump’s presidency, visited televangelist Jim Bakker’s program this week to discuss various prophecies he has received around Trump.

Amedia told Bakker that he had heard from God that God had given Trump a “breaker anointing” that had allowed him to break up the Republican and Democratic parties and the news media, so North Korea had better watch out.

“So, you know, North Korea, you’d better be on your toes because you’re up against a breaker anointing of God,” he said. “This isn’t about politics, this isn’t government as usual, this isn’t even militaristic, God has raised up…a breaker anointing. Anything that God opposes him against, he breaks up. He broke up the Republican Party…he broke up the Democratic Party, he broke up the news media. Everything that comes against him, he has a hammer against. So, I’m telling you, North Korea, you’d better stand down because you’re up against the breaker anointing of God.”

That is a good question, oh great LAWRD!!!! Oh and by the way how great is our gospel choir? Let’s give it up for them. And there’s no Maroon 5 either, just them. And by the way if you want to take a look at who exactly is doing the LAWRD’s work look at this incident out of Louisiana. Really these guys are the ones who think they’re GAWD’s anointed? Get out of here!!

James “Doc” Greene is a Religious Right talk radio host who has been broadcasting from Houston, Texas for years. Last weekend, he was arrested after he entered a public library with a concealed weapon to protest a “Drag Queen Storytime” event and refused to leave.

Outsmart Magazine, Houston’s LGBTQ outlet, reported Tuesday that Greene had been escorted out of the Houston Public Library the weekend prior because he refused to leave the building, from which he was banned after he reportedly filmed children visiting the library.

In a video Greene recorded of the incident, he flashes what looks like a White House press pool badge dated October 28 (no year given) to argue that he is a member of the media. For about five minutes, Green bickers with Houston Police Department members who are requesting that he leave the premises before he tells them, “We have a bunch of homosexuals that are molesting children. They are doing it with your help.”

After Greene continued to refuse officers’ demands that he go to his vehicle and leave the library premises, officers handcuffed him and confiscated his concealed firearm. There is no indication that Green intended to use his handgun in the library, and Texas law permits concealed carry permit holders to tote firearms in most public venues. Greene complained of chest pains after he was placed in a squad car and was taken to a hospital, where he reportedly stayed for six hours. No charges have been filed against Greene.

“The police, unfortunately, have become the criminals themselves,” Greene said in an interview after the incident, accusing officers of violating his First Amendment rights.

Oh and there was no molesting going on, you stupid dumbass. Really you guys need to find something else to do. Wait, they probably have nothing else to do! There you go. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Your boycott is not going to work! There, I said it! Yes, you know the time honored tradition of telling a corporation where they can shove their products has long been a favorite of both liberals and conservatives during the last 15 years. And in the last 3 years it’s been taken to some crazy extremes with conservatives burning and destroying everything from Keurigs to NFL season tickets to Taylor Swift albums. You know, because it’s fun to burn things! It’s also fun to throw things out of a window, because hey, it’s Physics 101, yo! But there’s one chain that has been the subject of numerous boycotts from both sides over the last 15 years and that’s the coffee chain known as Starbucks. You know why your boycott is not going to work? Because you’re probably sipping on a latte right now while you’re talking to your barista about the latest draft of his screenplay. And if you give your money to another corporation that sells coffee, like Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, or 7-11, or Whole Foods, or anyone else because it makes you the moral authority, well, that’s when you start to see ridiculous shit like this.

Which is fine except you just gave your money to a company whose franchise owners have been using their stores to conduct ICE Raids:

The show wasn’t just for Sandhu. The day he was raided, immigration officers fanned out across America, serving inspection notices and arresting suspected undocumented workers at 98 7-Eleven stores in 17 states and Washington, D.C. Since then agents have raided several more, and Bloomberg has learned that ICE and federal prosecutors in Brooklyn, N.Y., are engaged in criminal investigations of multiple franchises. 7-Eleven, an American icon and the world’s largest convenience store chain, has become the highest-profile target of a sweeping corporate immigration crackdown by President Trump.

It’s a huge headache and a public-relations nightmare for the company and its chief executive officer, Joe DePinto. But the immigration crackdown has also given 7-Eleven something potentially useful: the names of franchisees who might be in legal jeopardy. Store owners found in violation of immigration law could be in breach of their franchise agreements. And as they well know, 7-Eleven has the contractual right to take back a store from someone who’s violated his or her agreement. Which is why Sandhu’s mind went into overdrive when, on July 30, he received a letter from 7-Eleven demanding any documents alleging violations of immigration law and warning him that he risked having his store seized if he didn’t comply.

If you think you’re taking the moral high ground by buying a coffee at 7-11 instead of Starbucks, you’re not, and the sooner you realize that, the better. So why is Starbucks the subject of yet *ANOTHER* boycott? Well it’s because former CEO Howard Schulz announced his bid for the presidency as an independent. Which you know, is always a guaranteed path to the presidency! But why boycott Starbucks over this? Why not?

Democrats are threatening to boycott Starbucks if the coffee giant's former CEO Howard Schultz brings his potential 2020 ambitions to fruition.

Since announcing on January 27 that he was "seriously considering running for president as a centrist independent," Schultz faced almost immediate calls to seriously reconsider.

At issue is the possibility that Schultz running as an independent could split the vote in the upcoming 2020 election, potentially securing President Donald Trump's re-election.

After airing his potential 2020 ambitions on Twitter, Schultz was faced with a wave of appeals with a resounding message: "Please don't."

"Please don’t," said former federal prosecutor Renato Mariotti in a tweet responding to Schultz's. "Our nation faces a serious crisis due to the actions of Donald Trump, and you would split the vote against him."

Other social media users rushed to "co-sign" Mariotti's statement, with one Twitter user saying the former Starbucks chief had "no chance of doing anything but distracting us and costing us votes."

You know before you go and get your underwear in a wad about Howard Schulz running for president, just remember two things – 1) we’re still a long way out from the Democratic Primaries. And 2) just remember he’s running as an independent. If he runs at all. And you know how well running as an independent for president works! So of course the natural solution is to boycott Starbucks. And you should realize that Starbucks is no stranger to boycotts! There have been numerous attempts over the last few years to boycott the chain, but they’ve all failed.

Democrats are already in panic mode over the 2020 election: Howard Schultz, the former Starbucks CEO, is contemplating running as "centrist independent," and liberals across the land seem terrified he'll end up a spoiler for their ambitions, handing the White House back to President Trump for a second term.

Their solution: Boycott Starbucks.

That's not a great idea.

Certainly, Schultz's candidacy isn't a great idea either — we'll get to that in a moment — and boycotts have a long, often honorable history in American politics, used by pre-Revolutionary tea drinkers and Civil Rights-era activists alike. Senator Marco Rubio's (R-Fla.) ongoing attempts to allow state and local governments to discriminate against Americans who boycott Israel disrespects both that tradition and the First Amendment of the Constitution.

And that’s kind of the reason why your boycott won’t work. Your place of business is about to become a Starbucks! Remember when I said that Starbucks is no stranger to boycotts? If you may remember from a few months ago, that conservatives tried to boycott Starbucks for this completely insane reason.

Ubiquitous, culturally-relevant, self-described “third-place” coffee giant Starbucks is in hot water again, this time for doing the right thing. In light of the company’s recent commitment to hire 10,000 refugees within five years in response to President Donald Trump’s disorganized and highly suspect immigration ban, Trump supporters are banding together to boycott Starbucks.

In his letter detailing the company’s plan to hire refugees, CEO Howard Schultz wrote that hiring plan was in response to Trump’s immigration policy. As CNBC notes, many angry people are suggesting that Starbucks should only hire Americans or American veterans instead. In fact, Starbucks has a long history of hiring veterans, supporting them with various internal programs and honoring/spotlighting veterans that are employees or store managers. Since 2013, the coffee company has hired over 8,000 veterans as part of its dedicated veterans’ program.


The last time Americans boycotted Starbucks, back in November 2016, it was because the company’s holiday cups weren’t “Christmas-y” enough. This most recent boycott smells a little bit like the protest that happened among a particularly vocal group of Trump fans last fall. When a Trump supporter felt he was waiting too long for his Starbucks order, he assumed it was because the barista was a Hillary Clinton supporter and launched into a tirade that was captured on video (and subsequently went viral). Trump fans came out to support their brethren by asking that baristas at Starbucks write “Trump” on their cups, thereby forcing staffers to yell out the President’s name when a drink order was ready. #TrumpCup became a trending hashtag for a few days after the incident, and Starbucks pocketed those sweet, sweet protest dollars.

Yeah so Starbucks ain’t scared of you. They’ve been through this thing a lot, especially since the conservative party went apeshit back in 2016. And by the way why is it always the democrats who are the angry ones? Or we’re enraged or insane? Because we don’t want another billionaire to be the president? I mean how well has that played out? Well hold off before you drop that latte and run to the nearest Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf because Mr. Schultz is only running if he sees “a viable path” and we all know running 3rd party is a guaranteed way into the presidency!

Former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz may not decide on making a independent run for president until this summer or fall and will only be a candidate if he sees a plausible way to win the White House, an adviser said Tuesday.

Schultz’s announcement that he’d consider a 2020 bid outside of either party drew a furious reaction from Democrats, who warned that he’d draw votes from the party’s eventual nominee and assure the re-election of President Donald Trump.

"He 100 percent will only run if he sees a viable path. There’s no chance he gets in this race if there isn’t a path," Bill Burton, a former aide to President Barack Obama who recently joined Schultz’s political team, said in an interview Tuesday.

Burton said it may not be until "summer or fall" when Schultz makes a decision. By that point the frontrunners among the wide field of Democratic contenders may become clearer.

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Donald Trump’s Twitter Typos: How is this still a thing? When most people get angry, they pound a wall, break something, shoot a gun at a firing range, or take their frustrations out in ways that would not make them look foolish. But not President Trump. Instead, he prefers his favorite medium of venting his frustrations: the tweet. And because he’s the president of the United States, if he says something stupid, the entire world tends to take notice. And since the inauguration he’s said a lot of incredibly stupid things and misspelled a lot of words on Twitter.

When President Donald Trump isn’t busy tweeting about the Robert Mueller investigation with demands for a “major Counter Report,” he’s tweeting about his border wall — this time, with a major spelling error.

“Arizona, together with our Military and Border Patrol, is bracing for a massive surge at a NON-WALLED area,” the president tweeted last week. “WE WILL NOT LET THEM THROUGH. Big danger. Nancy and Chuck must approve Boarder Security and the Wall!”

Twitter quickly noticed Trump’s error — and became grammar police once again on Monday when the president misspelled “smoking” as “smocking” twice in the same missive.https://people.com/politics/president-trump-spelling-mistakes-typos-words/

And if you want to know the kind of reaction that a Trump twitter typo can draw, well, the reaction is that he gets mocked relentlessly. And he deserves it too. Because even his unsecured iPhone has this thing called “spell check” that can autocorrect your word after typing a couple of letters.

We all make typos, but, fairly or not, President Donald Trump's textual slipups draw more attention than most.

That is especially true when he stumbles writing about one of his defining political issues: border security. Or, as the president called it in a tweet on Monday, "Boarder Security."

"Anytime you hear a Democrat saying that you can have good Boarder Security without a Wall, write them off as just another politician following the party line," Trump tweeted. "Time for us to save billions of dollars a year and have, at the same time, far greater safety and control!"

Trump deleted the tweet and posted a new one with the correct spelling at about 11 a.m. EST. But USA TODAY saved a screenshot of the original "boarder" gaffe.

So… Boarder Security. Yeah that is a thing that happened. And here’s where we could list all of the ways that Trump has managed to screw up even the most basic vocabulary. But, sadly, we don’t have that kind of time. However, he won’t ever dare correct himself because he has some sort of bizarre egomaniacal pride about himself. Instead we’ll let someone else do it for you!

The first half of 2018 on Donald Trump's Twitter timeline has been full of confusion, anger, and a whole heap of presidential typos.

The news cycle has moved at a breakneck speed, and so has Trump's tendency to tweet — and then delete — tweets with typos. Even in the face of opposition from Congress and the potential violation of post-Watergate transparency laws.

That Trump and his social media team may be dropping these typos in on purpose is interesting because it's either a completely bizarre strategy or, if it's not true, the White House is just really that bad at spelling (which they've proven regardless of the tweets).

But not all typos are created equal. Some are understandable — what Twitter trolls among us has not confused "your" and "you're"? — while some are just inexplicable. And we've still got six months left of the year.

Here, then, with an assist from Factbase and the Trump Twitter Archive, are 12 of Trump's worst Twitter typos so far in 2018.

Because Trump doesn’t use auto correct, he can make lots of hippos. Typos, it’s typos!!! It’s scary to think that we went from “Ask not what your country can do for you…” to… “Democrats have a smocking gun!!!!”. Talk about a huge drop off in quality. So much that even his own analytics expert thinks that he’s doing it wrong.

In criticizing the ragged nature of President Trump’s written communications, John McWhorter at The Atlantic cites as an example a spelling that the president or someone on the White House staff got right: “commonsense,” the adjective, in the phrase “commonsense legislation.” The noun is “common sense.” When it modifies other nouns, you can either hyphenate it (“common-sense legislation”) or, in Germanic style, close it up. In this case, the closed-up style, “commonsense,” is neater and (my impression is) preferred in American publications edited at some level above the Mendoza line.

McWhorter argues that Trump’s writing shows “inadequate thought” and “not just inadequate manners or polish.” I’ll pass over the part about inadequate thought. Why that minimizing “just” to modify “manners”? They have a moral dimension. One reason we’re careful with words is that they have tonic and toxic effects on the soul. We can bless, and we can curse.

Sometimes words cause unintended harm by slipping away from us, like a fastball from a pitcher with poor control. All of us have been on both sides of that. In the course of a spirited conversation, you hear coming out of your mouth a word or phrase that could have unfortunate associations for your interlocutor. They evaded your awareness in the nanosecond between the formation of the thought you wanted to express and your choice of words to express it, and now it’s too late.

That is a good question. And in case you’re wondering how the biggest search engine data analytics handle Trump’s typos, well, it’s a chronic habit that is beginning to become a huge problem. So much that even Google and Yahoo don’t know how to handle it.

President Trump often takes to Twitter to announce public policy, changes to his Cabinet or bloviate on socio-economic issues. However, there are a number of times when the president misspells words on Twitter, which leads to huge spikes in searches for these misspellings and can often cause confusion.

"When we examined search data for misspelled words, comparing it to the dates of many of the president’s spelling gaffes, a pattern emerged," according to a Dictionary.com article, which highlights the president's abundant mistakes. "Each misspelling sparks a surge in searches on site, specifically searches for that exact configuration of letters, as Americans attempt to spellcheck both the president and themselves."

The first example cited is a tweet from Trump the day after his presidential inauguration in January 2017.

“I am honered to serve you, the great American People, as your 45th President of the United States," Trump wrote. The tweet was quickly deleted and corrected with the right spelling, but the misspelling led to a 3,850 percent surge in searchers for "honered" compared to the previous week.

The site noted that searches for "honer" also had a modest jump, at 1,271 percent.

Dictionary.com also mentioned Trump's March 2017 attack on the Obama administration for tapping his phones, a claim that was later refuted by the Department of Justice. There were reports that the FBI tapped the phones of former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, which some have said vindicated Trump's claim.

Trump's misspelling of the word "tap" led to a 46,300 percent increase in searches for "tapp" over the prior week.

And by the way speaking of English even fast food chains cant resist trolling Trump over some basic typos. Even when he treated the Clemson Tigers to that fast food Big Mac buffet and tweeted about it the day after, Burger King couldn’t resist a jab.

President Donald Trump first was criticized for serving fast food to the Clemson Tigers football team on Monday in the White House. But the real burn came from Burger King trolling President Trump for his typo, "hamberders." The fast food giant on Tuesday took to Twitter to poke fun at the commander in chief.

Trump tweeted that it was "great being with the National Champion Clemson Tigers last night at the White House" and that because of the shutdown, he served "massive amounts of Fast Food." Trump claimed he paid for over "1000 hamberders etc." — and there you can see the typo. "Within one hour, it was all gone," Trump continued. "Great guys and big eaters!"

Trump only left the post up for a few hours before he posted a corrected version, but that didn't stop Burger King from making a joke Tuesday. "due to a large order placed yesterday, we're all out of hamberders," Burger King posted to Twitter. "just serving hamburgers today."

And by the way even Trump’s son can’t help but misspell words. So you could say that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Though we suspect that the tree might be a stump at this point.

Donald Trump Jr., 41, was mocked for a pre-dawn tweet Thursday after he mistakenly referred to "Saturday Night Live" as "S&L," an acronym for savings and loans, rather than "SNL."

In the tweet, Trump Jr. quoted a Republican's take on the 2020 Democratic platform, describing it as "almost like a funny version of an S&L sketch."

But "Saturday Night Live" cast member Mikey Day's Trump Jr. impression will go to waste this weekend, just when the president's eldest son has given him a perfect excuse to suit up and slick back his hair. The show returns with a fresh episode on Feb. 9.

When you make one typo, you just make one typo. But when you make typos frequently and you’re the president of the United States, you might need to reeducate yourself on spelling. That’s enough to make you ask – Donald Trump’s Twitter Typos:

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Whew, there was a lot to unpack there. Oh well, I need a drink!

So you know the idea behind this is that we get drunk and talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Because you know when you mix religion and politics, it doesn’t end well for you. Which is why we generally don’t encourage that. But instead we’re going to talk about a favorite topic of ours on this show – serial killers! And this entry is for the ladies, because really, what are you doing? Tell me bartender – what goes well with a documentary about Ted Bundy? Some fava beans and a nice chianti? Eh, I’ll stick with my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. So last week Netflix premiered “Conversations With A Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes”. And well, the dialogue that has come out about this movie isn’t about what a gruesome killer Ted Bundy was. Nope, and I’m sure Netflix didn’t plan for this either!

What's the deal with lusting over killers?
Ted Bundy is back on a lot of people's minds, with two projects on the serial killer in the news.
First up, Netflix is streaming "Conversations With a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes," a docuseries about the man who confessed to more than two dozen murders before he was eventually executed in 1989.

Meanwhile, a trailer for "Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile" recently dropped with former teen heartthrob Zac Efron as Bundy, and once again people were talking about the charismatic killer.

"I've seen a lot of talk about Ted Bundy's alleged hotness and would like to gently remind everyone that there are literally THOUSANDS of hot men on the service — almost all of whom are not convicted serial murderers," said a tweet Monday from Netflix's official account.

Um… I’ll take both! Ted Bundy is hot, yo! And that’s the scary thing. Serial killers aren’t hot. They’re serial killers. I mean did Dexter glamourize the world of serial killers? Yeah probably. Here’s the thing, Netflix, if you don’t want a serial killer to be seen as hot, maybe, I don’t know, don’t case a heartthrob like Zac Efron in the role! But maybe… just maybe they’re secretly loving this!

Netflix says it wants people to stop lusting after Ted Bundy, because that’s what it has to say. But make no mistake, the streaming service is loving all the memes and tweets about the infamous serial killer’s “hotness.”

Bundy, who raped and murdered dozens of young women in the 1970s, was caught in 1978, and executed in 1989, remains one of the world’s most studied serial killers. That’s in part because he looked and often acted (according to some that knew him) like a normal, well-adjusted person. Since his execution, Bundy has been analyzed in countless films, documentaries, books, and songs, as Americans still struggle to understand how a human being could be capable of such atrocities—especially one as classically handsome as Bundy.

So it was only a matter of time before Netflix, in its quest to be the only entertainment platform you’ll ever need, produced a documentary about Bundy. Last week, the streamer released Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes, a four-part docu-series featuring never-before-heard audio of the killer discussing his crimes in the third person. (For years after his capture, Bundy maintained he was innocent, only confessing to the murders shortly before he was executed.) Joe Berlinger, the writer and director of the documentary, also directed the Bundy film Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, which stars heartthrob Zac Efron as the vicious killer and premiered at the Sundance Film Festival this month.

And that’s exactly what I will do! And by the way here’s the thing ladies, you should realize that before you go sexualizing serial killers, be aware that it has consequences. And Netflix, before you go scolding viewers for sexualizing serial killers, you should aware that this is a feature of modern society, not a bug!

You may have noticed that the internet has recently developed a bit of a crush on Ted Bundy—Ted Bundy, as in, one of the world's most notorious serial killers. First Netflix released a documentary, Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes, that's chock-full of archival footage and audio recordings made while Ted was on death row. Netflix had to literally ask viewers to stop calling Bundy hot. Then a new trailer dropped for the upcoming Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, which stars Zac Efron, one of the most handsome men to ever grace this Earth.

In other words, Ted Bundy is having a moment. A big moment. And here's why that's f*cked up.

Attraction to the real Ted Bundy started long before the biopics, of course. Back in the days of his trial, hordes of groupies sent him love letters until the day he died. When asked why they did it, these women typically fell into two categories: they either believed someone that handsome couldn’t possibly commit such disgusting crimes, or plainly, they couldn’t articulate why they were so enamored.

It's called Hybristophilia. Think about it like this: Society teaches women to "fix" men, and to provide rehabilitation (and patience! and kindness!) for the very worst ones. Groupie culture around serial killers is pretty much an amped-up version of this relatively commonplace psyche. RJ Parker, in his book Serial Killer Groupies, chalks it up to women's nurturing instincts and a genuine belief that they can change their targeted serial killer through love. Heavy.

Yes and if you think you can “fix” a serial killer, just take Dexter’s advice. Ted Bundy was a complete monster. But then again lost in the conversation of whether or not Ted Bundy was hot is the fact that Netflix, in their infinite quest to prove that they can and will sign anything, paid a ton of money to make Ted Bundy great again!

Maybe you just got finished with Netflix's four-part Ted Bundy docuseries Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes and thought to yourself, "What else can I watch about this fuckin' guy?" Then you searched the rest of the service and found yourself SOL.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, that will no longer be the case for true crime buffs, provided you can show a little patience. The streaming giant has apparently edged out STX and Lionsgate and is closing in on a $9 million deal that would give them the U.S. rights (and some international rights) to the Bundy biopic starring Zac Efron. Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile centers around Bundy's crimes via the viewpoint of his longtime girlfriend Elizabeth Kloepfer, who in the film refuses to believe he's guilty despite numerous signs pointing in that direction.

For those wondering how Efron and Extremely Wicked fared with critics at the Sundance Festival, here's a roundup, but the (near) consenus seems to be that Efron is great and the overall film isn't. "I think [Efron’s] startlingly good: controlled, magnetic, audacious, committed, and eerily right," Variety's Owen Gleiberman wrote. He went on to say, "Ted is a kind of actor, a maniac playing a role, yet doing it with such sincerity and flair that it’s not just a role. It’s the person a part of him wants to be."

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 28: The DEA
[br] [/font]

It’s time for episode 28 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Drug Enforcement Agency[/font]

This week we’re hanging out with the Drug Enforcement Agency or the DEA! So this department was created back in the 1970s by then president Richard Nixon. You might remember the DEA best as the employer of Walter White’s brother in law Hank Schrader from one of the all time great TV series, Breaking Bad. But what does the DEA actually do? Besides enforce drugs, the DEA stops the illegal flow of drugs over the border and through our customs departments. But to use the slippery slope – with drugs comes crime and with crime comes, well, more crime. And there’s plenty of reasons why we need an agency like the DEA, even though we just covered the ATF last week. You know, things like crystal meth.

The amount of methamphetamine seized in New Jersey and tested by federal authorities skyrocketed by more than 5,000 percent over the course of just a couple years.

Data released in February by the Drug Enforcement Administration, based on reports from law enforcement, show the highly addictive drug is commonly being found in the southern and far western regions of New Jersey. It's still considered the "drug of choice" in some of the state's more rural areas.

"Somebody, if they were looking for meth, they wouldn't have a difficult time finding somebody to get it from," said Timothy McMahon, special agent with the DEA's New Jersey Division.

The substance, known to produce heightened senses of alertness and euphoria, as well as increase a user's heart rate and body temperature, can come in pill, liquid, and crystal form, the DEA said. Long-term abuse can lead to tremors, hypertension, memory loss, hallucinations, psychotic episodes, violent behavior and other side effects.

We know you’re Heisenberg. So meth and crystal meth are nothing to joke about even though they were the subject of one of the most awesome TV series of all time. And if you haven’t seen Breaking Bad then get off your ass already! But in addition to meth there’s also the ever-scary black market that you need to worry about!

Black market prescription drugs are showing their ugly heads right here in San Antonio. The Drug Enforcement Administration or DEA tells us that many of those buying the black market pills are everyday people who became addicted after an injury.

"A black market created usually by injury or surgeries.... a black market for prescription meds sold by the pill but can be a deadly purchase if mixed with other drugs," said Dante Sorianello, DEA agent.

Little pills causing big problems. The black market for prescription meds is fed by stolen pills, stolen prescription scripts, people who need to make a quick buck and sell their own prescription medications.

"Maybe a physician who is over prescribing to somebody and then getting some sort of kickback from that, that's probably a little bit more of the rare-er of a physician getting a kickback from over-prescribing," said Sorianello.

Whoa whoa whoa! Settle down there! And by the way with the entire country making a huge shift in policies regarding marijuana and its’ many uses, how is the DEA handling which farms are allowed to grow and distribute and which ones aren’t? That’s going to be a very sticky icky situation for the DEA moving forward.

A task force led by DEA Agents conducted a number raids Thursday on a large number of suspected illegal marijuana grows in the Denver Metro.

Two of them took place in Sean Lykins neighborhood in Brighton.

Lykins said, “I just heard a loud speaker telling the house next door to me the people to come out and then I saw a bunch of SWAT officers at the door."

Surveillance video captured DEA agents arriving and raiding a home said to be illegally growing marijuana.

Lykins and his family was leaving their home when they were frightened by the sound of fleas grenades.

Yes get your Tegridy brand weed right here! Fresh home grown! Now with such a department one wonders how they are able to keep all their agents in check? Well, there’s good cops, bad cops, and even worse cops. These guys might fall into the even worse cops category, so Uncle Hank could have been just as crooked as the criminals he caught!

A U.S. federal narcotics agent known for his expensive tastes and high-profile drug seizures has been implicated in a multimillion-dollar money-laundering conspiracy that involved the very cartel criminals he was charged with fighting in Colombia.

A once standout Drug Enforcement Administration agent, Jose Irizarry is accused of conspiring with a longtime DEA informant to launder more than $7 million in illicit drug proceeds, sometimes using an underground network known as the black-market peso exchange, according to five current and former law enforcement officials.

The officials described the case as one of the biggest black eyes in the history of the DEA, an agency that has seen repeated scandals in recent years, and one they fear could have compromised undercover operations in the U.S. and South America.

The conspiracy not only allegedly enriched Irizarry but is believed to have benefited one of South America’s top money launderers, who is a relative of Irizarry’s Colombian wife, said the officials, who spoke to The Associated Press on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the federal investigation.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: B-
How Things Are Going: B
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re going to visit a very important position in the cabinet by visiting the Department Of Housing & Urban Development, or the HUD!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Weezer =//= [/font]

Returning to the Top 10, one of our favorite guests. They have not one, but two albums out this year – the Teal Album out now and the Black Album out March 1st! you can see them on tour with the Pixies through March and April. Playing their song “Africa”, give it up for the one, the only Weezer!!

Thank you Podfest LA! This was fun! We’re off to Oxnard next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Anaheim Convention Center, Anaheim, CA
Special Thanks To: Podfest LA
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UC Irvine Choir Club, Irvine, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Research: Top 10 Research Department
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Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
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HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Weezer Appear Courtesy Of: Atlantic Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Feb 6, 2019, 06:00 PM (6 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Crimes Of Grindlewald Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Crimes Of Grindlewald Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots!! You don’t have to pay $1 to join our subscription service because we don’t have one, but we’ll gladly take your $1! What’s up Salt Lake City??? Yeah how are you guys doing? Are you doing good? See it’s hard to get alcohol here so that’s why we’re doing these shows here, you know, for the booze. And also you guys our loyal audience who sold us out! But I know we're in Mormon country here so I won't make fun except for the subtle jabs we might take during the duration of this week's Top 10. Do we have time for the thing? You know my theory that commercials and advertising ruin everything. So Skittles, what the fuck are you doing? First you have the obnoxious and gross Skittles-pox advertisement where Skittles grow on this dude’s face. Now, they’re taking the whole concept of advertising to a completely insane level. Look, I already avoid ads 99% of the time (although maybe I would have a bigger audience if I didn’t) and I will definitely be avoiding this one. So they’re taking the concept of advertising to Broadway for the Super Bowl. Starring Michael C. Hall! That’s right – they got an Emmy and Tony winning actor who is obviously way beyond starring in a commercial, to star in this thing, which we really, seriously, hope doesn’t become a trend! Which brings me to the Big Lebowski and why I think commercials ruin everything. So apparently the Dude is now a pitchman for Stella Artois. Yes, all that hype last week about the Dude possibly returning? Nope it ain’t for a Big Lebowski sequel, it’s for a god damn advertisement for the Belgian Budweiser. Fuck!!! Way to ruin one of my favorite movies of all time, In Bev. See why I think commercials ruin everything? By the way, be sure to click on the ads on the side of this page! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first we have to play Pete Davidson’s review of the Clint Eastwood flick “The Mule” because it’s pretty spectacular:

Hey everybody the Wheel Of Corruption is back!!! And… We got him everybody! In the number one slot this week is obviously Roger Stone (1), Trump’s longtime collider, professional Hillary hater, and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached to his head is going to prison! He can share a cell with Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen. In the second slot is the guy who we currently call president and that’s Donald J. Trump (2), and his office is working overtime to do some major damage control in the wake of the latest witch to be hunted! In the number 3 slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (3) and his insanely evil transgender military ban is going to be taking place, and well, it’s going to affect a whole lot of people and very badly. For the fourth slot this week, we have a new edition of “NO!” (4) and the fallout from the Indigenous People’s Rally in Washington, DC last week is having some major consequences for Covington Catholic and the MAGA hat wearing kids, who not surprisingly, were being racist shitheads in public. Taking the #5 seed this week is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week, after the botched call in the NFC Championship game between the New Orleans Saints and the Los Angeles Rams, we’re going to do a deep dive into the world of bad sports officiating! At number 6 of course is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor is very troubled that the Doomsday Clock is stuck at 2 minutes to midnight and we will examine all the sides to this apocalyptic event. Taking the seventh slot this week, we’re going to bring back an old Top 10 feature and open up the Top 10 Movie Vault to talk some movies. Specifically, the extremely controversial Michael Jackson documentary “Leaving Neverland” and well when this premiers at Sundance, expect the shit to hit the fan! For the number 8 slot, is a new installment of our favorite segment “How Is This Still A Thing”. And this week, after yet another controversy and losing sponsors left and right, we’re going to ask “The Laura Ingraham Show: How is this still a thing?” (8). In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week we have a brand new People Are Dumb, because of course People Are Dumb. Finally this week, we have the next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going to be hanging out with the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco, And Firearms! Plus we have some live music for you from Greta Van Fleet! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Roger Stone
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Election Theft
- Buy A Vowel
- Clip Without Context
- Greed
- Spying
- Food
- Elections
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Donald Trump
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Harry Potter
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Donald Trump
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this shit going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! What? Go directly to jail? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Shit, just my luck. Go to jail on the first spin! Spin it again… and it lands on… crime! Number one this week is pretty obvious if you’re not living under a rock or have your tin foil hat surgically attached to your forehead and that is that Nixon lover Roger Stone got a taste of what his favorite president went through right up until his resignation. But this arrest revealed some things about this guy that are well, very revealing about the mysterious man that is Roger Stone. So what happened exactly?

The special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, revealed on Friday the most direct link yet between parallel efforts by the Trump campaign and WikiLeaks to damage Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election using Democratic Party material stolen by Russians.

A top Trump campaign official dispatched Roger J. Stone Jr., a longtime adviser to President Trump, to get information from WikiLeaks about the thousands of hacked Democratic emails, according to an indictment. The effort began weeks after Democratic officials publicly accused Russian intelligence operatives of the theft, which was part of Moscow’s broad campaign to sabotage the 2016 presidential race.

The indictment made no mention of whether Mr. Trump played a role in the coordination, though Mr. Mueller did leave a curious clue about how high in the campaign the effort reached: A senior campaign official “was directed” by an unnamed person to contact Mr. Stone about additional WikiLeaks releases that might damage the Clinton campaign, according to the court document.

In an indictment filled with colorful details about clandestine meetings, angry texts — even a reference to “The Godfather: Part II” — Mr. Stone was charged with seven counts, including obstruction, making false statements and witness tampering. Mr. Mueller did not say that Mr. Stone’s interactions with WikiLeaks were illegal, nor that the Trump campaign engaged in a criminal conspiracy with the organization.

Whew!!!!!! Man I’ve been waiting all week to use that one! So yes, we got him all right! Maybe Roger can share a cell with Michael Cohen and they can trade conspiracy theories behind bars. And by the way you know that Mueller has implicated an “Individual 1” in the Trump Tower investigation, but now we have an “Organization 1”. That’s right – it wasn’t just an individual! It was an entire organization, because, you know, a coup doesn’t happen with just one person.

Footage of armed FBI agents storming Roger Stone's Fort Lauderdale, Florida, home was dramatic. But the real drama was in the 24-page indictment filed by special counsel Robert Mueller. Beyond Stone's shocking text messages detailed in the court document, one sentence really jumps out. It appears innocuous at first, buried on Page 4. But it raises questions that could potentially lead to evidence of collusion and embroil President Donald Trump himself.

Here's the sentence: "After the July 22, 2016 release of stolen DNC emails by Organization 1, a senior Trump Campaign official was directed to contact STONE about any additional releases and what other damaging information Organization 1 had regarding the Clinton Campaign."

There's a lot to unpack here, but the key phrase is this -- "a senior Trump Campaign official was directed to contact STONE about any additional releases."

The question isn't which senior Trump official contacted Stone, but who directed this person to do so. The only logical possibilities could fit in a phone booth. It's conceivable that the only people senior officials would take that kind of direction from would be either Trump or Paul Manafort, his campaign chairman at the time.

Yes, can I get some reverb please? WHO IS THE MYSTERY TRUMP ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL? Ooh man that was some good reverb there. We will definitely keep an eye on this story but this might be one of the strangest parts of Stone’s arrest. He revealed his love of a certain president and one that was reviled for being a crook. Can we show that tattoo on his back?

Yeah what the fuck is up with that tattoo? Let’s find out more!

Roger Stone, President Donald Trump's associate who was arrested Friday morning, is a self-proclaimed king of political tricks with a love of vintage suits and conspiracy theories.

A Florida home of the 66-year-old veteran political consultant was surrounded by about a dozen heavily-armed FBI agents who arrested him with a surprise warrant, as seen in a CNN video. Stone has long denied claims that he had inappropriate contact with Russian intelligence during the 2016 electi, but now faces formal charges of lying to investigators.

Here are a few things you might not know about the self-proclaimed "dirty trickster" who loves the limelight:

Stone has a portrait of a smiling Richard Nixon tattooed on his upper back, below his neck. Stone got the tattoo at a shop in Venice Beach in California and told The New Yorker that “women love it." In Nixon's later years, Stone organized a series of media lunches at the former president's New Jersey home, The New Yorker reported with photos of a shirtless Stone.

"The reason I’m a Nixonite is because of his indestructibility and resilience,” Stone said in the interview. “He never quit."

Except for that part where he literally did quit! We may have to do a deep dive into that Netflix documentary for next week. And in case you’re wondering if this could possibly get any weirder, it devolved into Nixon territory when Roger Stone imitated his idol when taking the perp walk – and by the way the funny thing is that it was dismissed by the Nixon Foundation:

On the day of his indictment by special counsel Robert Mueller, former Donald Trump adviser Roger Stone seems to have lost the support of one of his greatest heroes, former President Richard Nixon -- or at least Nixon's foundation.

The Nixon Foundation sought to distance itself Friday from Stone after the political provocateur emerged from a Florida federal courthouse flashing the signature double V hand signal, usually used to symbolize "victory" or "peace," that Nixon made when he departed the White House after his resignation. Stone, who has a tattoo of the former president on his back, has long cited Nixon as a key political icon and influence.

"This morning's widely-circulated characterization of Roger Stone as a Nixon campaign aide or adviser is a gross misstatement. Mr. Stone was 16 years old during the Nixon presidential campaign of 1968 and 20 years old during the reelection campaign of 1972," the Nixon Foundation tweeted.

The foundation added, "Mr. Stone, during his time as a student at George Washington University, was a junior scheduler on the Nixon reelection committee. Mr. Stone was not a campaign aide or adviser. Nowhere in the Presidential Daily Diaries from 1972 to 1974 does the name 'Roger Stone' appear."

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

I’m out! Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… oh hey it’s another clip without context!

We do? That’s news to me! But projection is what the republicans do best, so maybe they are the ones who hate themselves? All right, spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. OK the shutdown is over everybody!!! Yeah!!!!! Well, at least for the next 3 weeks, get your paychecks while you can! The damage has been done though. So much that there’s been numerous proposals on how to end future shutdowns that one might be seen as an abuse of power. Yes, the keyword there is “might”. But the plan we’re going to talk about is the one proposed by Democratic Senator Mark Warner called the “Stop Stupidity Act”.

As the partial government shutdown continued through its thirty-second day on Tuesday, Senator Mark Warner (D-Va.) introduced a bill that would keep the government running during any future lapse of funding, but cut pay for lawmakers.

Warner, whose constituents include about 64,000 employees currently without pay in Virginia, titled his legislation the Stop STUPIDITY (Shutdowns Transferring Unnecessary Pain and Inflicting Damage In The Coming Years) Act.

“The Stop STUPIDITY Act takes the aggressive but necessary step of forcing the President and Congress to do the jobs they were elected to do,” said Sen. Warner. “It is disturbing that the daily lives of hundreds of thousands of workers are at the mercy of dysfunction in Washington. Workers, business owners and tax payers are currently paying the price of D.C. gridlock and my legislation will put an end to that.”

You can find the full bill here. It sets up a system to automatically renew government funding at the same levels as the previous fiscal year, with adjustments for inflation, unless legislators pass an appropriations bill setting the amounts differently.

Yes that’s exactly what this bill aims to do – stop people from acting so stupid, mainly the president of the United States. The government works for the people, not for partisan politics. But the Stop Stupidity Act isn’t the only one being proposed. In fact this latest shutdown has prompted a lot of proposals aimed at preventing future shutdowns.

The U.S. government is back in business, and some U.S. lawmakers want to prevent it from shutting down ever again.

After suffering a record-smashing 35-day shutdown, legislators are heading back to Capitol Hill with new energy for a longstanding effort to ban the option of shutting down the government. After a shutdown that denied federal workers two paychecks, members of both parties are realizing that shutdowns rarely produce positive outcomes for anyone.

Senators Rob Portman (R-Ohio) and Mark Warner (D-Va.) each introduced a bill to prevent shutdowns in the future. Portman’s, which has 18 co-sponsors, would continue funding the government at current levels if Congress failed to reach a funding agreement, but funding would decline by 1% after 120 days and then each subsequent 90 days if no deal were reached.

Warner’s, called the Stop Shutdowns Transferring Unnecessary Pain and Inflicting Damage in the Coming Years, or “Stop Stupidity Act,” would maintain funding for all aspects of government except for the White House and legislative branch. Explaining his reasoning on the Senate floor, Warner said, “common sense tells me that we wouldn’t be here 35 days into this shutdown if all our staffs were experiencing the same kind of shortfall and economic distress that 800,000 of our fellow federal workers experienced.”

Yes we’re closed but hopefully this is the last time! Don’t make me turn this show around! And in fact this bill is gaining traction, but will Trump himself sign it? It is gaining traction and even Chuck Schumer is backing the bill. But if you’re not shocked at all that Trump probably won’t sign the bill, well, you’re not wrong. And if you’re shocked he won’t, you’re in the wrong place!

Senate Republicans, led by Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio), have also introduced similar legislation, the End Government Shutdowns Act.

The Democratic leader's embrace of the bill came hours after White House acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney said on CBS's "Face the Nation" that President Trump is willing to shut down the government again in three weeks should lawmakers not come to a satisfactory agreement on border security funding.

The president on Friday signed a bill to fund the government for three weeks, ending a partial government shutdown that had lasted 35 days. The measure did not include money for a wall along the southern border, but provided the opportunity for a bipartisan conference of lawmakers to negotiate border security funding.

Trump said in an interview published Sunday with The Wall Street Journal that he views the chances of a potential deal among lawmakers as "less than 50-50."

Yes, fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it!!!! Last thing we need is a shutdown over a campaign promise that was completely asinine and in no way, shape or form will work. So how do you get both sides to work on something that one side started, one side owns, and somehow managed to convince their base to blame the other side for it? You know what? Lets’ play that clip first.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! So what do they have?

Senator Richard Blumenthal laid out his priorities before he got on a flight to Washington this morning. First, he wants to get workers their back pay. Second, work on a border security deal with republicans. Third, try to keep those workers from losing their paychecks in any future government shutdowns on Monday.

"We thank you," Blumenthal told workers at Bradley International Airport Monday. "All of America should thank you."

Blumenthal went to Bradley to thank federal workers who kept showing up every day, despite not getting a paycheck.

"35 days without pay, working on the job, is a disgrace," Blumenthal said.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… A Random Tweet!!!!


Sadly that's probably the only thing Fox & Friends has said in the last 3 years that could be considered true! Spin it again! And it lands on… Morally Bankrupt! Well there’s only one person in this story that’s morally bankrupt and that’s Donald J. Trump. Yeah last week Trump’s shockingly evil, completely immoral, and extremely unconstitutional transgender military ban went into effect. So just how evil is it and who is affected by this? Well it could mean a whole lot of people!

The Supreme Court allowed President Donald Trump's transgender military ban to go into effect on Tuesday, dealing a blow to LGBT activists who call the ban cruel and irrational.
In an unsigned 5-4 order, the justices took no stance on the legality of the ban, first proposed in a surprise tweet by Trump in 2017, but Tuesday's action clears the way for it to take effect while lower courts hear additional arguments.

The four liberal justices objected to allowing the administration's policy banning most transgender people from serving in the military to go into effect.

The policy, first announced by the President in July 2017 via Twitter, and later officially released by then-Secretary of Defense James Mattis in 2018, blocks individuals who have been diagnosed with a condition known as gender dysphoria from serving with limited exceptions. It also specifies that individuals without the condition can serve, but only if they do so according to the sex they were assigned at birth.

In a statement released after the Supreme Court action, the Pentagon sought to clarify that its policy is not a ban on all transgender persons from the military.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So with that, SCOTUS sides with religious bigotry over the first amenedment. So Brett Kavanaugh’s boofing paid off. How much worse could it get? I mean in the words of Clark Griswold: “Take a look around you! We’re in the threshold of hell!”!

The Supreme Court on Tuesday granted the Trump administration’s request to allow it to bar most transgender people from serving in the military while cases challenging the policy make their way to the court.

The administration’s policy reversed a 2016 decision by the Obama administration to open the military to transgender service members. It generally prohibits transgender people from military service but makes exceptions for those already serving openly and those willing to serve “in their biological sex.”

The vote to lift two injunctions blocking the policy issued by lower courts was 5 to 4, with the Supreme Court’s five conservative members in the majority.

Lawyers questioning the new policy said there was no need to enforce it while the cases challenging it moved forward.

Argh I hate this administration and everything involved. There’s not a lot funny about this - it’s mean and horrible and cruel, and a whole lot of people are about to be displaced because of this. But I guess that was their evil plan all along wasn’t it? I mean really the only thing missing from Trump is a monocle, a top hat, and a furry cat sitting in his lap. Although it’s not over by a long shot and we need to keep Ruth Bader Ginsburg alive for as long as possible!

On Tuesday, by a 5–4 vote, the Supreme Court lifted two injunctions blocking President Donald Trump’s ban on open transgender military service. The move bodes poorly for transgender plaintiffs challenging the policy, indicating that the court’s conservative majority will eventually declare the ban to be constitutional. But it does not allow the Pentagon to begin enforcing the new rules. For now, another nationwide injunction remains in place—though it seems quite likely that it will soon be lifted, as well.

The Obama administration began allowing open transgender military service in June 2016 after the Pentagon concluded that it would have no detrimental effects. In July 2017, Trump attempted to ban all trans people from the armed forces via Twitter. A month later, he directed then–Secretary of Defense James Mattis to craft an implementation plan for the ban. Within months, four federal courts blocked the policy, concluding it was arbitrary, unwarranted, and a denial of equal protection.

In March 2018, the Trump administration released its plan to execute the ban. Crafted with the aid of anti-LGBTQ advocates, the new scheme attempted to avoid constitutional flaws by grandfathering in those trans troops already serving openly. Moreover, it did not explicitly target transgender people, but instead excluded those who experience ongoing gender dysphoria, or “who require or have undergone gender transition.”

Yes, boo this whole administration. This is downright appalling. But what do actual trans veterans think of this atrocity? Well, why don’t we ask them?

The Supreme Court allowed President Trump’s ban on transgender individuals from serving in the military to go into effect Tuesday morning, ostracizing thousands of active service members and sparking another divisive controversy in American politics.

There are an estimated 150,000 transgender United States veterans, according to a UCLA Williams Institute report, many of whom were forced to closet both their sexuality and gender identity or face threat of being discharged from the U.S. military during the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy era.

On Tuesday afternoon, Rolling Stone spoke with Evan Young, a retired army officer who was one of the thousands of transgender veterans who had to hide their identity and sexuality in order to still serve in the military – even once facing an investigation for being a lesbian prior to transitioning. “It was so hard,” Young says. The 14-year military veteran, who’s now the president of the Transgender American Veterans Association after retiring from service in 2013, spoke over the phone about his reaction to the court’s decision to allow the ban to go into effect, the impact serving in the military while closeting your identity has on both units and individuals and what this ruling means for the future of the U.S. military and the LGBTQ community nationwide.

What was your initial response to the Supreme Court’s decision Tuesday morning?
Furious. This was an issue that Trump made. [Barack] Obama opened service for transgender military members and they’ve been serving for two years now with no issues. We’re currently deployed in every single combat zone that’s out there. We serve with honor and we’re patriotic. We give our lives for this country, yet they’re saying we can’t serve and it’s beyond my comprehension why, besides discrimination.

What does this mean for the LGBTQ community to be told their service is not wanted by the president and by the Supreme Court?
It’s devastating, because we have good men and women who want to serve their country and are not allowed to. We have skills that the government has invested so much money and training folks for whatever job they had – whether it’s a pilot or a public affairs officer, a medical officer – there are so many jobs that we serve in and that’s a lot of people that you lose.

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[font size="8"]NO!!!!!
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Oh and hey it’s a clip without context!

I can’t even with these idiots sometimes. What does Chris Jericho have to do with anything other than his last name is Jericho? WTF! Spin it again!

That’s right. NO!. You know last week we had dueling marches in Washington, DC – there of course was conservative Christians marching to take away women’s reproductive rights by overturning the Supreme Court’s always controversial Roe V Wade decision. And then there was the Indigenous People’s March – held in the National Mall on the same day – looking to give America’s often neglected Native Americans a voice on Capitol Hill. And then there was one church from Kentucky that attended both marches, and is getting a lot of extremely negative press for how they behaved in the latter march. We covered this last week, but now the victim blaming has begun!

Gov. Matt Bevin went on TV on Tuesday night to voice his opinion on the confrontation between a group of Kentucky students and a Native American man.

On Tucker Carlson Tonight on Fox News, Bevin blamed the media for the backlash against students.

"I find it offensive that people have insulted these students as they did," Bevin told Carlson. "Could they, themselves, in every instance, perhaps behaved more gentlemenly? Probably so. But as someone who has a 20-year-old and a 16-year-old to boot, I can tell you: Sometimes, teenagers act silly and goofy and irresponsible. But these children acted far more responsible during the course of that 20-minute interaction or so than any of the adults that were involved."

Bevin's comments come after video surfaced of an encounter between Covington Catholic High School students and Native Americans in Washington, D.C., over the weekend.

Many claim the Native Americans were intimidated by the teenagers. But, others say the teenagers are being targeted for wearing "Make America Great Again" hats.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That’s right – according to Kentucky’s governor, these kids aren’t to blame for their nasty behavior, it’s that damn violent leftist media’s fault! Gee, some kids wearing MAGA hats turned out to be racist shitheads and were called out for their behavior? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you! And by the way even Stormy Daniels called them out. You know it’s bad when you get called out for inappropriate behavior by a stripper!

The adult film star Stormy Daniels is suggesting building a wall — around the Catholic high school in Kentucky whose students surrounded and mocked Native Americans during a march in Washington, D.C.

Daniels weighed in Saturday on the incident involving Covington Catholic High students after video surfaced showing a young man in a "Make America Great Again" cap trying to intimidate a Native American elder. Dozens of Covington students can be seen jeering and chanting along.

"I'm suddenly in favor of building a wall...around Covington Catholic High in KY," wrote Daniels, legally known as Stephanie Clifford, on Twitter. "And let's electrify it to keep those disgusting punks from getting loose and creating more vileness in society."

Daniels is known for her legal dispute with President Donald Trump and his attorney Michael Cohen over alleged hush money paid to silence Daniels about an affair she said she had with Trump in 2006.

The school and the Roman Catholic Diocese of Covington condemned the actions of the students against the man, Nathan Phillips, on Saturday afternoon after millions of people viewed videos of incident, many expressing their outrage on social media.

And the other thing people - fucking stop with the death threats already! Don’t you see that threatening death only makes you the asshole? Yeah these guys were racist MAGA shitheads, let’s kill them and send a pipe bomb to their church! Hey, my barista didn’t give me enough ice in my iced latte! She should die a horrible death! See how it doesn’t work that way? Neither does this!

Covington Catholic High School decided to cancel classes on Tuesday after a weekend of controversy following a viral video featuring some of its students.

Principal Robert Rowe told WXIX that school officials met with local authorities and decided to cancel school and close the building on Tuesday to ensure that students, faculty and staff would be safe. Rowe added that all campus activities were cancelled for during the day on Tuesday, as well as, the evening.

“Students, parents, faculty and staff are not to be on campus for any reason,” Rowe said in a letter. “Please continue to keep the Covington Catholic Community in your prayers.”

The Park Hills, Kentucky, school’s decision to close on Tuesday followed the publishing of a video of a student wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat standing in front of a Native American elder. The students were in Washington, D.C., for the annual anti-abortion rally, the March for Life, and were waiting for their busses at the Lincoln Memorial.

On Saturday, a video clip of a confrontation between a Native American elder, identified as Nathan Phillips, and a high school student, identified as Nick Sandmann, was published on several social media sites. Many of the students were wearing attire supporting President Donald Trump, prompting prominent people on social media to label the students as racist and bigoted.

That is a good question, Mr. Harvey! But while so much attention is being paid to what happened at the latter march, let’s not make light of why they were there in the first place!

The itinerary for most school field trips to Washington, D.C., is usually as busy as it is predictable: See some monuments on the National Mall, check out the Smithsonian museums and don’t miss the bus to the next stop.

But trips to the annual March for Life are different.

They're not typically as different as Covington Catholic High School’s visit last week, which ended with the Park Hills, Kentucky, school and its students embroiled in a made-for-Twitter political firestorm, but still unlike the sight-seeing excursions kids sign up for at most schools.

The March for Life trips are built around student activism at a single event about a single issue on a single day in Washington. Catholic schools, where students are taught abortion is an intrinsic evil, have been organizing excursions to the anti-abortion marches for years.

This has never been just another field trip for the students or their parent chaperones, and abortion has never been just another issue in America’s culture wars.


That’s right – they were there to take away a women’s right to reproductive freedom! And you might be wondering where the MAGA in chief is and what he thinks about this? Well, they’re just his kind of people and he’ll probably treat them to a big fast food buffet at the White House.

After taking to Twitter to support them, President Donald Trump may meet with Covington Catholic students at the White House as soon as the government shutdown ends, according to reports.

The possible meeting was first reported Tuesday morning by Fox News host Laura Ingraham, who tweeted that Covington Catholic students "threatened by the leftist internet mob" will meet with Trump at the White House as early as Wednesday.

However, Ingraham tweeted about an hour later that the White House "seems to be in flux" regarding a meeting with Covington Catholic students who were in Washington, D.C., on Friday for the March for Life.

"Announced any meeting would happen after shutdown," Ingraham wrote on Twitter. "Odd as it would be less meaningful if delayed."

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… Oh it’s the guacamole option! Come on out here, Fernando! Yes, everyone Fernando is our sous chef here at the Top 10 and he is going to prepare my tableside guacamole. Here’s your $2!

All right doesn’t that look great? Thanks Fernando! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Last week, the Los Angeles Rams and New Orleans Saints played for the NFC title and a chance to go to Super Bowl LIII. However, an extremely controversial call happened in the fourth quarter of that game that sent the Rams to the Super Bowl and the Saints home packing. Now regardless of which team you root for in this fight, we’re here to help sort out all the madness behind the controversial non call. Just how bad is sports officiating in the modern era? Well, moderate to extremely.

Referee Bill Vinovich's crew missed an obvious pass interference call on Los Angeles Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman in the final minutes of Sunday's NFC Championship Game against the New Orleans Saints.

The no-call came with 1:45 remaining on a third-and-10 play from the Rams' 13-yard line, with the score tied at 20. Robey-Coleman appeared to run into Saints receiver Tommylee Lewis and make helmet-to-helmet contact before the ball arrived -- sending the raucous Mercedes-Benz Superdome crowd into a chorus of boos when no flag was thrown.

Had interference been called, the Saints would have had a new set of downs and a chance to run the clock down before attempting a short field goal with less than 20 seconds remaining. Instead, the Rams forced overtime and beat the Saints 26-23, advancing to Super Bowl LIII.

People from around the country reacted to the controversial play, including some who photoshopped images:

So just how bad was that call? Well it’s spawned everything from lawsuits to death threats, because only in 2019 would a sensible person threaten to murder someone over something like that. And in case you’re wondering if there’s going to be another playoff game, well, don’t get your hopes up.

Redoing last weekend's controversial NFC title game between the Los Angeles Rams and New Orleans Saints would mean a pricey delay of the upcoming Super Bowl, the NFL said Friday.

In a legal filing, NFL Chief Financial Officer Joseph Siclare said replaying even a few minutes of the NFC championship game because of a missed passed interference call would force a delay for an event that demands an investment of "more than $100 million," the New Orleans Advocate reported.

Siclare's sworn affidavit was submitted by the NFL to get one of two pending lawsuits over officiating moved from state civil court to New Orleans federal court.

The filing marks the league's first formal response to a lawsuit by a pair of ticket-holders over the infamous "no call" that ended the Saints' Super Bowl run last Sunday.

That’s about what the Saints fans want to do to the ref who blew the call. And we get it, but LA is definitely no stranger to blown calls. In fact if you look at one of the most infamous blown calls of the last two decades, this one makes the New Orleans non call seem like a walk in the park. To use sports terminology if we must.

Boston, the defending World Series champion, was dispatched in three games by the White Sox during the AL Division Series, and manager Ozzie Guillen's crew looked to be the favorites against Anaheim in the ALCS. The Sox held home-field advantage at U.S. Cellular Field, the Angels were without ace Bartolo Colon, and they had just finished off a grueling five-game series win over the Yankees before making the trip from Anaheim to Chicago for Game 1.

Paul Byrd pitched the Angels to a surprising 3-2 victory in Game 1, making Game 2 a crucial contest for the White Sox before going to the West Coast. The game was tied at 1 in the ninth, with Mark Buehrle having gone the distance for Chicago, when A.J. Pierzynski appeared to strike out against Kelvim Escobar for the third out to send the game to extra innings.

Pierzynski ran to first on what he thought was a dropped third strike by catcher Josh Paul, and home-plate umpire Doug Eddings allowed him to stay there. Pinch-runner Pablo Ozuna swiped second and scored on Joe Crede's walk-off double, propelling the White Sox to their first of four straight victories over Anaheim.

OK so before you New Orleans Saints fans go nuts, although it may be too late for that, just be aware that we’ve seen calls just as bad if not worse than that. And by the way in case you’re wondering just how far Saints fans have taken their wrath, just look at this. Remember when we said there were death threats involved? Well it’s way worse than you might expect.

He has a name Saints fans will remember begrudgingly, but what Nickell Robey-Coleman said happened after the game is something they'd probably rather forget.

The Los Angeles Rams cornerback who was responsible for a play that went unflagged and likely cost the Saints a Super Bowl berth said he received countless threats after the game, including those of violence and another to burn down his home, according to Bleacher Report.

Robey-Coleman was speaking at a media event in the buildup to Super Bowl 53. The Rams face the New England Patriots on Sunday.

One of the threats, made on social media, said it would "f--k you up" at the airport. Another said he should leave or he "might not see tomorrow." Another said they'd burn his house down.

Robey-Coleman had a simple answer.

"Wolves do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep," he said in the report.

So you can complain all you want about your blown call, just don’t make death threats, that gives your fans a bad name. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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It’s time to give the wheel a good strong spin! And it lands on… oh hey it’s another clip without context!

And that’s just sad. Or as Trump would say – SAD! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Salt Lake City, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know it’s our duty to inform you that we are approaching the end of days, but it also my duty to inform you that the forces of SAYTAN are working very quickly to help bring about that very scary ending of the Bible to life. We already saw that last year when the Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, decided to move the US - Israeli embassy to Jerusalem to please his base of end times apocalypse worshippers. Well, he might be surprised to learn that this did nothing of the sort to help escalate the rapture! You know there’s a special time keeping device that is used to monitor how close we are to the end of days, and well, if you’re not alarmed by this, you should be.

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists is keeping the Doomsday Clock set at two minutes to midnight - the emblematic end of the world - calling the threats against humankind "a new abnormal."

The scientists announced Thursday that the clock is stuck at 11:58, citing nuclear weapons and climate change as two existential risks that leave the world dangerous close to an apocalypse.

Bulletin President Rachel Bronson told The Washington Post that the scientists felt that keeping the clock at that "daunting time" was appropriate because "the time corresponded to the message we were sending." She said the board was particularly concerned that "U.S.-Russian relations are near an all-time low," "the arms control architecture is deteriorating," and "carbon emissions are rising after a period of plateauing."

She particularly emphasized that "the intentional undermining of the information architecture for political purposes, which we view as a threat multiplier - makes everything that we're doing more difficult."

So, nuclear apocalypse is inevitable!!! Or is it? You know think of this as the calm before the storm, because in our Good Book, at least JAYSUS does not make any sort of mention of how the world is going to end. And you know you should never mix religion and science because the two separate in a giant pool like olive oil and vinegar. So why is it so important that the Doomsday Clock is staying at 2 minutes to midnight this year?

The Doomsday Clock is the creation of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, a group that formed in the wake of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Their goal: educate both the scientific community and the public at large about technology’s potential to destroy the world.

The Doomsday Clock was originally set at seven minutes to midnight, and the Bulletin has adjusted it 23 times over the years. The most recent adjustment came in 2018 when the group set the clock to 11:58 — putting humanity symbolically closer to doomsday than it had ever been before.

According to the Bulletin, we’ve done nothing in the past year to make the situation any less precarious — humanity still faces not one, but two “existential threats” in the form of nuclear weapons and climate change.

While the clock remains set at 11:58, the potential of either threat to destroy humanity has increased over the past 12 months, according to the Bulletin’s 2019 statement. We must do something to alter our path.

Oh so it’s only a minor threat to the end of humanity as we know it! For the good LAWRD JAYSUS never made mention of the end of days, but his followers love how the BAYBLE ends in the book of Revelation because the clock hasn’t slowed down but yet it does remind us of the dangers of the world in which we currently live! Can I get an amen???

When the board of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists has judged a significant deterioration of the global security environment, it usually moves the hands of the “doomsday clock” closer to midnight. One year ago, recognizing a cluster of negative trends, the custodians reset this icon as never before in its 70 year history to two minutes before midnight. But this week, rather than push it closer to midnight, as many analysts had predicted, the board doubled down in a bold statement that the world is in a “new abnormal”ť and that the clock is still two minutes to midnight.

This statement is a clarion call to citizens and leaders alike in declaring, “This new abnormal is simply too volatile and dangerous to accept as a continuing state of world affairs.”ť With the articulation of the contours of the perilous new abnormal, the clock moves beyond a metaphorical representation of our planetary wounds. It exposes the intertwined conundrum of increased nuclear militarism, unabated climate change, and the corruption of global information systems by leaders using new technology for nefarious goals. The discussion of the latter is a major contribution to security thinking, particularly as it affects democracies.

Perhaps the most insightful critique of leaders around the world notes their “intentional corruption of the information ecosystem on which modern civilization depends.”ť Sadly, calling on leaders in Washington to change their behavior regarding these issues will be a steep climb. Never before has an executive branch of the United States had a lower regard for the findings of science, especially around the topic of climate change. The more than $1 trillion proposed for future decades of nuclear modernization has no substantial opposition within Congress.

Well let’s think about this here in the eyes of the LAWRD – the clock hasn’t moved forward but it can’t move backward. You can’t turn back time! Yes, I know that’s a Cher song, sir! So why is this thing still relevant? Why don’t we ask a real scientist? And you should never mix religion and science, that’s just bad for business!

Sputnik: Ok finally with this in mind, is humanity closer now to striking midnight on the doomsday clock than in the past?

Dr Becky Alexis-Martin: From a nuclear perspective no, I think it's absolutely right to kind of retain the point that we are ‘two minutes from midnight', however from a climate perspective we are gradually encroaching and edging towards catastrophe and that catastrophe won't affect people in the global north substantially as much as it will affect people in the global south.

The impacts of climate change will not affect places like the USA, UK and Russia as substantially as places like Sub-Saharan Africa or the South Pacific where they don't have the opportunities to create adaptations to climate change and their situation is more precarious to begin with. I would say yes, I would say that we are edging closer towards midnight from a climate perspective and we just have to wait and see really. I hope that international policy begins to remedy and begins to support progress towards mitigating climate change.

So what do you think a GODLY man thinks of the end of days? Well apparently SAYTAN has been working overtime to eradicate his foes, all of which oppose the Dark One! Wait a minute, the Dark One was anointed by SATAN, not by GAWD!!!

On last night’s “YourVoice America” program, ardent pro-Trump commentator and right-wing conspiracy theorist Bill Mitchell declared that every policy proposal put forth by Democrats is designed to increase human misery because liberals are driven by self-loathing and want all of humanity to suffer.

Mitchell said that if a liberal sees someone wearing a MAGA hat and therefore thinks that person is racist, it is because the liberal is the one who has racism “occupying a large space” in their mind already and “is looking at the world through racism-colored glasses.”

“Here’s the problem that liberals have,” Mitchell asserted. “They feel a sense of being outcasts, a sense of being different. Because of this otherness, they tend to have a lot of self-loathing, OK? Now they’re human beings [and] they loath themselves, so they loath humanity.”

“The Democrats and the liberals must always blame mankind for everything because of their sense of otherness, because of their sense of not belonging, because of their sense of hatred of mankind,” Mitchell added. “That’s why their policies and procedures never improve the status of mankind, but prolong the pain and make the pain worse, because they hate mankind and they hate themselves.”

There you have it folks! The opponents of the Dark One blame mankind for everything and that’s why we are in the End Of Days! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Movie Vault
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… Oh hey it’s A Random Tweet!!!


Oh hey it’s good to know that he’s smocking covfefe again! Let’s spin it again! Oh it’s the mystery item which means that we’re going to bring back… THE TOP 10 MOVIE VAULT!!!!

That’s right – the Top 10 Movie Vault brings you excellence (or not) in cinema whether it’s the finest documentaries on the internet or movies actually in theaters. So bear in mind we will keep this segment to the standards of humor that you’ve come to expect from the Top 10 by now - which usually are very poor but we'll accept moderate. That said, what has people’s underwear in wads this week? Well there’s a controversial new documentary about Michael Jackson that his most hardcore fans would probably rather not be seen, all remaining copies destroyed, and any left stored next to the Arc Of The Covenant. Because, reasons.

The new two-part documentary on Michael Jackson, Leaving Neverland has been mired in controversy since its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival on Jan. 25. The documentary follows Wade Robson and James Safechuck (now in their thirties) who allege that Jackson preyed on them as young boys.

Since Friday, the documentary has been met with statements from the Jackson estate and Jackson’s family, with the estate calling Leaving Neverland a “tabloid character assassination” on Jackson. The family dubbed Robson and Safechuck as “perjurers” and the film as a “public lynching.”

Now, Leaving Neverland director and producer Dan Reed has responded to those criticisms. In a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Reed said, “A four-hour piece, is that a tabloid?” He continued, “I didn’t characterize Jackson at all in the film—I think if you watch it you'll have noticed that it’s a story about these two families and Jackson is an element of that story.” Reed asserted that the film isn’t about Jackson, but rather “an account of sexual abuse, how sexual abuse happens and then how the consequences play out later in life.”

“They have a very precious asset to protect,” Reed added. “Every time a song plays, a cash register goes ‘ka-ching.’ It doesn’t surprise me that they've come out fighting in defense of their asset.” Reed also mentioned that he doesn’t think the family has seen the film. “Their statements are not consistent with having watched the movie,” Reed told THR.

Of course they have a valuable asset to protect! Have you seen how much Michael Jackson is worth when he’s dead? He’s the world’s highest earning dead celebrity! And he’s got relatives and employees who want to get rich off of that! And if you think you don’t make enough money, wait until you see how much money this estate has. In all honesty, death was probably the best career move Michael Jackson could have made.

Death hasn’t ended Michael Jackson’s commercial success.

Jackson again tops our list of the highest-paid dead celebrities list after hauling in $400 million over the past year, mostly from the sale of his EMI Music Publishing stake. Additional cash comes from his Mijac Music catalogue, a new Sony record deal and projects like TV special Michael Jackson’s Halloween, which returned to CBS on October 20 for the second consecutive year.

“You see Charlie Brown Christmas and Charlie Brown Thanksgiving every year, so now we’re looking to have Michael Jackson’s Halloween every year,” says John Branca, the Jackson estate’s co-executor. “We hope that it’ll become evergreen.”

Behind the King of Pop on our list is another music monarch: Elvis Presley, who takes the No. 2 spot with $40 million over the past year; Arnold Palmer rounds out the top three with $35 million. In all, the dead celebs pulled in $628 million, more than double last year’s $312 million tally—thanks entirely to Jackson’s windfall, which gives him $2.4 billion in earnings in the decade since his death.

Naturally you can see why they’re nervous about this flick, especially given what can happen to famous celebrities in the post #MeToo era. Now we’re not defending the allegations in this documentary even slightly. But if the director isn’t worried about the Michael Jackson estate, maybe he should be worried about Michael Jackson fans!

“Leaving Neverland,” a new documentary focused on the child sexual abuse allegations against Michael Jackson, has already stirred some controversy at the Sundance Film Festival, and now that backlash has hit its IMDb page.

On Friday afternoon at about 1:20 p.m. PT, the IMDb page for the documentary read “Liar, Liar 2: The Wade Robson and Jimmy Safechuck Story.” Robson and Safechuck are two Jackson accusers who appear in the documentary. It was fixed by about 2:05 p.m. PT.

It would appear that angry Jackson fans vandalized the page. Those with a registered IMDb account are able to make edits on films’ pages, similar to Wikipedia. IMDb did not immediately respond to Variety‘s request for comment.


And that was just the IMDB page! In case you don’t know Michael Jackson fans, they’re very similar to a lot of fans of some very powerful celebrities. You know – like the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. Honestly the extremely rabid Michael Jackson fans and the extremely rabid Donald Trump fans are really cut from the same cloth. Especially when they can pull shit like this.

EXCLUSIVE: The world premiere of a controversial Michael Jackson documentary this week at the Sundance Film Festival has organizers and local police preparing for turmoil from fans of the deceased Thriller singer.

“We have increased our staffing out of concerns for the potential for a protest,” Captain Phil Kirk of the Park City Police tells Deadline about the January 25 debut of the sexual abuse investigating Leaving Neverland. That’s the official line, but officials in the Utah ski town say their primary concern is about an incident inside the Egyptian Theatre screening of the Dan Reed directed two-parter on Friday.

There have been direct threats against The Paedophile Hunter helmer Reed over the 236-minute Neverland, I hear.

“Tensions are higher for this movie than anything I’ve ever seen at Sundance before,” says a law enforcement source. “No one is going to be prevented from exercising their Constitutional rights, but we are not going to allow this to get out of hand, in any way,” he added, noting that the checks and other security measures already in place for SFF will be heightened inside the venue also.

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… clip without context!

Uh… did Alex just admit he’s in on the whole thing? Paging Mr. Mueller! Paging Mr. Mueller! Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for How Is This Still A Thing? Time once again to ask:

This week – the Laura Ingraham Show. How is this still a thing? Apparently in conservative world, as long as you say what they want to hear, you’re a celebrity for life. It doesn’t matter how many sponsors you lose, or how badly you get mocked by those on the other side. You can always paint them as violent lunatics and you’ll still get a large majority of the viewership. Such is the case with the Laura Ingraham Show – another Fox News outlet that’s currently being circled down the drain and has been for a long time. So what happened exactly?

Right-wing radio host Laura Ingraham has been hemorrhaging advertisers after a petty attack on a teenager who survived the Parkland, Florida massacre.

As of April, Ingraham had lost 24 advertisers to her Fox News show thanks to an online campaign mobilized by David Hogg, who called out the fringe host for her bullying. But as of October, those advertisers still didn’t return.

“It’s not unusual for advertisers to flee temporarily when controversy strikes a television program,” wrote Politico. “But the sustained loss of advertising minutes and big, nationally recognized brands from “The Ingraham Angle” shows the power of activist-led boycotts and the depth of major corporations’ concerns about offending would-be consumers in the hyper-politicized era of President Donald Trump.”

Media Matters announced Ingraham’s show was over, but she’s still trying to hold on by doing a podcast. Her Fox News show will also continue. The weekly radio show ends its run after 17 years. It has “served as a safe space for the Fox News host and her guests to make cruel jokes, practice racism, demonize immigrants, and push wild conspiracy theories. The world will be better off without it,” the site described.

Yes that’s right – Laura Ingraham has been dropped from her radio show but somehow is still able to be on Fox News. So how did Ingraham’s show go off the air? What was the final cause of death? Was it her incessant bigotry and love of Donald Trump? Or was it the way that she attacked the Parkland Students for their activism? Or is it all of the above?

After 17 years of torturing Americans’ ears, Laura Ingraham’s radio show finally came to an end this December. The weekday show has long served as a safe space for the Fox News host and her guests to make cruel jokes, practice racism, demonize immigrants, and push wild conspiracy theories. The world will be better off without it.

Unfortunately, Ingraham’s cruelty and racism will still have a home on her Fox News show and her new podcast beginning next month. But for now, we can bid a happy farewell to a truly awful program by remembering some of its most repulsive moments.

Ingraham fawned over Donald Trump’s bigoted rhetoric on immigration; she defended his calls for a ban on Muslims entering the United States, and even argued that the ban was “not broad enough,” claiming that she would “go farther” and be “even worse than Trump.”

She asserted that “Middle Eastern countries have got to be told… we’re cutting you off,” questioned why the U.S. should allow Muslim immigration ”knowing that we can’t tell if an Islamic individual is going to be radicalized,” and said the U.S. should only accept refugees “who we can verifiably say are Christians. … But all these other people, they’ve got to stay in the Middle East.”

So it took 17 years to realize that Laura Ingraham is a toxic bigot who only spews nothing but hate and bigotry? Well maybe she and Jeannie Pirro can join forces. But in case you’re wondering why Ingraham is still on the air, well look at the fact that they have pretty much a direct pipeline to Trump. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Right-wing pundits are not happy that President Donald Trump has agreed to reopen the federal government while he negotiates with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Democrats in Congress over funding for border security.

Upon hearing the news, conservative commentator Ann Coulter tweeted “Good news for George Herbert Walker Bush: As of today, he is no longer the biggest wimp ever to serve as President of the United States.”

Michael Malice — an anarchist author, columnist and media personality — posted a similarly mean-spirited tweet: “Apparently a wall isn’t as good as a cave.”

Tomi Lahren, a Fox Nation host, tweeted “It’s President Trump, not President Pelosi. Act like it.”

Breitbart, the alt-Right brainchild of former White House chief strategist to President Trump Steve Bannon, proclaimed on its website “GOVERNMENT OPEN … AND BORDER. NO WALL.”

That’s right Dude, with friends like these, who needs enemies? Yes, the federal government is currently being run by idiots with microphones. Let that sink in for a minute. And by the way in case you’re wondering if your advertising boycott is working, let’s look at what actually happens when that happens.

“Republicans buy sneakers, too” probably isn’t what Michael Jordan said, but it is true nonetheless. In fact, empirically, it’s an understatement. The last five years have given rise to the direct brand revolution with digitally minded startups disrupting every category, resulting in hundreds of so-called unicorns — privately held companies worth more than $1 billion — many of whom grew through leveraging the power of conservative media outlets and programs. Ironically, marketers associated with these brands are overwhelmingly liberal with no interest in political controversy.

Direct brands are data-driven, so when their analytics reveal conservative programming systematically outperforming inoffensive content, they trust the numbers. So brands like Casper, Blue Apron, ZipRecruiter or 23andMe hold their noses and continue pumping promo codes and vanity URLs into conservative podcasts, talk radio and even FOX News, thinking to themselves: “I wish I knew how to quit you, Ben Shapiro!”

In all this, there is confusion about what sponsorship actually symbolizes.

While conservative programming yields superior results, many marketers abstain from it, for fear of promoting values differing from than their own. This is not only faulty thinking. It is dangerous to democracy and a slippery slope. Sponsorship doesn’t mean you share values with talent. It says you wish to share your values with that talent’s audience. Carried to the extreme, identical values as a prerequisite for sponsorship means corporations dictate where free speech is acceptable and where it is not.

There you have it, while people may resist someone like Laura Ingraham, advertisers already do and don’t show their ads on shows like this. That’s enough to make you ask – the Laura Ingraham Show:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… wait for it… No, a whammy!!!

Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for People Are Dumb! Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. I feel like anytime we don’t do one of these, there’s tons of stories of people being stupid. Such is the case this week! So let’s start with this story out of Lexington, Kentucky. And Kentucky is really Florida’s Florida. Because when Florida Man or Florida Woman are absent from the news, you can always count on some just absolutely batshit crazy stories coming out of the Blue Grass State. So this woman was channeling her inner J. Walter Weatherman from Arrested Development.

LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) — A Kentucky woman charged with drunken driving told police she did it "to teach her son a lesson."

News outlets report 48-year-old Sunita Jairam was arrested early Sunday on charges including endangering the welfare of a minor.

Her arrest citation says she told police she "drank a bunch of beer" and drove at 150 mph (241 kph). It's unclear what lesson she was trying to impart.

The son told police he tried to get out of the BMW subcompact several times, but the door was locked. News outlets didn't list his age.


And that’s why you don’t drive drunk to teach lessons to your son! Because then you will almost always see the PoPos! Next up, we go to this story out of Madison, Wisconsin. Look… I’m a guy, I get it, and if there’s one thing you don’t do, you never, ever, under any circumstances get between a man and his toys. Doesn’t matter if they are power tools, comic books, electronics, jet skis, riding lawnmowers, computer parts, motorcycles, or action figures. Just… don’t do it. Because this will happen. And it won't end well for you. And I love the guy’s statement, by the way.

Around 10 p.m. on Sunday night, a 34-year-old Madison, Wisconsin man called 911 to report himself.

The man, whose name hasn’t been released, said his problems began with his collection of prized action figures, according to Madison Police Chief Mike Koval’s blog on the incident. The man explained that he’d been drinking, and he thought his wife had damaged some of them. He said he may have “overreacted.”

“Overreacted,” in his words, meant waiting for his wife to leave the house, grabbed an axe, and demolishing every valuable sight. He’d swung it through the TV, then taken it to a laptop and a few other choice possessions.

Then he went outside to the car. After a few discerning smashes -- including hacking off the side mirrors -- he slammed the blade so hard into the windshield it stuck. That’s where they found the weapon when the police pulled up -- sticking out of the car windshield like some kind of Wisconsinite Excalibur.

Read more: http://www.citypages.com/news/hubby-goes-on-axe-rampage-over-prized-action-figures-say-cops/504750062

Yeah that dude’s got nothing on Archer, by the way! Next up, we go to our favorite state of guess where, that’s right – Florida. I also live in California, which means that we do not have access to the great restaurant chain known as Waffle House. Which means we’re missing out on all the crazy people who hang out at Waffle House in the wee hours of the morning after they’ve been up on all night crystal meth tweaks:

According to a police report from the Escambia County Sheriff’s Office, a woman later identified as Freedom Zobrist was causing problems in the parking lot. A Waffle House employee had called authorities after noticing the woman had dropped her pants and was blocking traffic.

The employee told her to leave but she became “verbally abusive,” and threatened to retrieve her firearm and “shoot him in the face.” He said the unemployed Pensacola resident also threatened to shoot everyone in the diner.

The worker then said Zobrist walked in to the middle of the parking lot, yanked her pants down, “exposing her sexual organs,” and began to dance.

The employee then said the 38-year-old went over to him and tried to grab his genitals and “lick both sides of his face.”

Next up we go to New Hampshire for this one. Remember that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry was being accused of having certain acts of a sexy time nature being performed while he was driving? Well, this is a case of life imitating art and one where the acts in question were being performed by professionals.

While stopped at a red light Tuesday afternoon, a New Hampshire motorist was living his best life, smoking crack cocaine and being fellated by a woman in the passenger seat, police report.

Manchester Police Department detectives spotted Michael Douville, 51, behind the wheel of a Chrysler 300 stopped at an intersection. Douville, a Nashua resident, was engaged in...illegal acts” at the time, cops allege.

When two detectives approached the vehicle and identified themselves, Douville sped off. He was subsequently apprehended by a third cop. His passenger, however, “fled the area and was not located,” investigators say.

Seen above, Douville was arrested on several charges, including lewdness, narcotics possession, and disobeying a police officer.

Ah, classic Larry! Finally this week we go to Boise, Idaho for this one. And I’m not making fun of the mass stabbing by the way. What I am making fun of is the fact that the guy who committed the mass stabbing wants to change his name to something completely ridiculous. That’s right – the guy who is accused of stabbing 9 people is going to change his name to this.

Timmy Earl Kinner Jr., accused of stabbing nine people in Boise last June, wants to change his name to Eternal Love, according to court records.

Kinner, who turned 31 last Friday, was granted a hearing on his petition at 1:30 p.m. March 19 before Judge Lynnette McHenry.

On the form that asked why he wanted to change his name, Kinner wrote: “because this is my God given right & the title I want to be known as & remembered by.”

In Idaho, name changes require a judge’s approval, and the state has strict laws about name changes meant to obscure association with crimes.

Yeah it’s about as ridiculous as having the name Creamy Goodness. That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 27: The Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms
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Let’s spin the wheel one final time this week! Oh hey and it’s another clip without context!

And Bill Mitchell sort of looks like a creepy serial killer. I mean I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if he recreates the “Goodnight Horses” scene from Silence Of The Lambs in his basement. Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Deep State Diaries!

It’s time for episode 27 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the many branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms[/font]

This week we’re gonna fire some guns, smoke some fine cigars and get drunk! Because we’re hanging out with the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms! Whew! So what does the ATF actually do? That is what we’re here to find out. So the ATF started as a joint venture between the FBI and the DOJ back after prohibition ended. Then they expanded to become their own branch of the law enforcement arm of the government back in the 1970s. So what do they do today? What is the role of the ATF? Well let’s see what they are in the news for this week! Well let’s just say that you want the ATF around in case of crime like this.

Close to 300 weapons stolen from gun shops across the metro Atlanta area in just a couple of months. ATF agents now say they can trace those stolen firearms back to one guy. Agents have linked the crimes to 31-year-old James Clifford Roberts, a convicted felon from Atlanta.

The gun store burglaries began Oct. 25, 2018. Stores in Jonesboro, Alpharetta, Buford, and Homer were hit. The biggest heist was at Hi-Caliber in Holly Springs. Crooks broke into that store in late November and took off with 180 guns.

When thieves broke into Deercreek Gun Shop in Marietta Suzette McCain, who lives across the street says she's the one who called the police.

"I saw the cars backed up behind the place. Like I told the Detective, it don't make sense they keep doing this," said McCain.

Police say they got away with 21 guns from Deercreek.

In all, 293 firearms were stolen from six stores in two months. Law Enforcement says the M-O was the same across the board. Prior to breaking in, the power to the build was cut, disabling surveillance cameras and alarms.

Hey sporting goods stores! If you’re going to sell guns, which is your right to do so, you’d better get some better security! And speaking of security, the ATF is pushing for some strong new measures to help fight future crimes. Thankfully we’re not in Minority Report territory yet but we’re getting very close to that.

A new nationwide push is changing the way officers collect evidence in an effort to solve violent crimes by connecting them, but the News4 I-Team found some departments aren't doing it — even though it could help solve crimes in neighboring cities.

"Gun violence is the most difficult thing that we have to deal with," said Metropolitan Police Department Chief Peter Newsham.

With 160 murders in D.C. last year, he knows the value of strong evidence. That's why his officers are required to pick up every shell casing, even if the call was just for sounds of gunfire. Years ago, that wasn't the case.

"If you arrived on the scene and nobody was injured and you didn't have a crime, then you would clear the scene with no report. Now, we handle it completely differently," said Newsham.

It's called comprehensive collection. The federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) calls D.C. one of the nation's leaders in doing it.

But you need strong evidence. Because you know what? In a country where we have more guns than people, we need to start addressing how many gun shops and sporting goods stores are being broken into, and the ATF needs all the tools they can get to prevent these sort of things from happening.

Federal authorities are offering a reward of up to $5,000 for information that helps them find those responsible for stealing firearms early Friday from the Cabela’s store in Kansas City, Kan.

The break-in alarm was reported just before 3 a.m. Friday at the store located at 10300 Cabela Drive. Several long guns were stolen, according to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

The agency says Cabela’s is a federally licensed firearms dealer. KCK police along with ATF agents in Kansas City are investigating the incident.

That is a good question, Chief! And by the way, in case you’re wondering why we have such draconian drug laws, how has it taken *THIS* long for the ATF to decide that maybe they’re not making us safer? I mean why not when we have this many people breaking into gun shops and sporting goods stores to steal guns like they’re in an Avengers or super hero movie! The answer is NO!!! They are not making us safer! This is the opposite of safe!

CHICAGO (CBS) — It took 16 years of work in the legislature, but Thursday Gov. JB Pritzker signed a landmark gun control bill into law.

With the signing of the law, Illinois solidified its position in the ranks with states like California, Connecticut, Massachusetts and New Jersey, which have some of the most comprehensive laws on the books.

Des Plaines gun dealer Dan Eldridge echoes concerns from critics of the law that the rules are onerous.

“They are duplicative of what we have with Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms,” Eldridge, the owner of Maxon Shooter Supplies, said.

California, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey and, now, Illinois all require the background checks on employees. They all require that dealers are licensed by the state. And also like the law Pritzker signed Thursday, they require certain security measures like proper storage.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: B-
How Things Are Going: B
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Assuming our government is still open, next week’s Deep State Diaries is going to keep the drug train going as we hang out with the DEA!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Greta Van Fleet[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Frankenmuth, Michigan. Their latest album is called “Anthem Of The Peaceful Army”. You can see them on tour this April and May. Playing their song “You’re The One”, give it up for Greta Van Fleet!

Thank you Salt Lake City! We had a great time on this very short tour, we are back home in Anaheim next week. See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Wiseguys Comedy Club, Salt Lake City, UT
Special Thanks To: Wiseguys Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Bethel Church Band, Salt Lake City
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 30, 2019, 06:00 PM (2 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-3: Thursday Night's All Right (For Fighting) Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-3: Thursday Night’s All Right (For Fighting) Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Sign up for our new unlimited plan today, get 4 free phones and unlimited gigs! What’s up Vegas???? Oh it is good to be back! I do love this city, it’s a home away from home for me! But I think this is the first time we’ve done a Vegas show and we’ve also done one on Fremont St at that. I love Fremont St – it’s the Strip without Strip. I mean come on, we got the Heart Attack Grill right next door, what more could you want? Congratulations to the LA Rams on winning the NFC championship and going to the Super Bowl!!! Sorry Saints fans, you put up a good fight and you can rest easier knowing you don't have to go to the White House to eat McDonalds. Do I really have to congratulate the Patriots though? Yeah BOOO those guys! Do we have time for the thing? We’ve talked quite a bit about gender reveals on this program including the absolutely ridiculous one in Arizona last year that started one of the world’s largest brush fires. There have been all kinds of ways to reveal your forthcoming child's gender and that includes everything from shooting off balloons to fireworks to colored powdered gas. Yeah let's give your guests the impression that they're getting gassed. What a great idea! Not. And why not? It's about as ridiculous of a concept as the Promposal, and really don't get me started on this crap that's designed really to get likes on your social media accounts like promposals, gender reveal parties, and pictures of ridiculous food combinations like chocolate sprinkle donut cheeseburgers. And this gender reveal party really is a combination of the two. Now they’re getting into ridiculous territory. Yes that's right - now. I said now, damn it! So why am I so angry about this? Because there’s New York-based chain restaurant Villa Pizza Kitchen that has started this insane trend that we really hope doesn't become a thing, and people hate it. What is it you might ask? It's gender reveal lasagna! Yes, your lasagna can be made blue or pink to reveal your new baby's gender, and it looks like a science experiment! In fact you wanna be grossed out? Let’s show a picture of it!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Man that looks appetizing doesn’t it? Cheese with blue or pink food coloring to reveal your baby’s gender! Why am I reminded of that scene from Vegas Vacation where Cousin Eddie takes Clark to the $1.49 all you can eat buffet?

Excuse me a minute… hey that doesn’t look like chicken! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back (YAY!!!!!) and his first New Rule of the year pointed out the 800 pound gorilla in the room:

Ed. Note: Unfortunately we wont get to the SCOTUS ruling on Trump’s transgender military ban this week so we will have to wait until next week. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Holy shit was last week quite the doozy! We might need a slot just to recap all the insanity and I think that’s what we’re going to do, especially with the Trump vs Pelosi debacle and Trump (1) going full asshole and revoking her travel privileges, and may have outed a secret diplomatic mission. In the second slot is also Donald Trump (2). So if you noticed over the weekend was the March For Life in Washington, DC and a group of boys from a Catholic school in Kentucky were the spotlight as they were wearing MAGA hats and making racist taunts. Of course their repeated attempts to justify their actions don’t help their cause. In the third slot this week is the guy who might become America’s next attorney general William Barr (3) and well he’s a perfect Trump cabinet pick. By perfect we mean SAD! Taking the fourth slot this week, we have a new installment of “People Who Somehow Got Elected” and this week we’re going to add Oklahoma’s new holier-than-thou governor Kevin Stitt (4) to that ever growing list. For the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates and we’re going to take a good, hard look at the LAUSD teacher’s strike (5) and what it means for the future of LAUSD. In the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive into something unheard of – mixing religion and politics, but specifically did Liberty University rig the polls to favor the Dark One? We shall find out! In the seventh slot this week, we’ve got a new installment of “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and we’re going to break down the extremely controversial new Gillette ad that has everyone’s underwear in a wad from both sides of the aisle. For the 8th slot this week, we have a new installment of We’re All Gonna Die, and if last week's Super Blood Wolf Moon wasn't a sign of the end times, wait until you see what the apocalypse has in store for you, courtesy of Russia and North Korea! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we’ve got a brand new installment of “I Need A Drink” and we’re in Vegas a city known for bad decisions made while drinking, and the shut down is affecting the craft beer industry big time, and we will get to the bottom of it! Finally this week we’ve got a brand new installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries (10) is going to show the governing body of our money and economic system, The Fed! Plus our good friends The Claypool Lennon Delirium are back with some new tunes! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Trump vs Pelosi
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Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday night’s all right for fighting yeah!!! Sorry, I was channeling my inner Elton John there for a minute. Yeah so last week it was a Trump vs Nancy Pelosi brew ha ha. You know what? Let’s do it this way instead! In this corner, weighing allegedly at 239 pounds, he loves hamburders and fast food, the guy who is currently the president of the United States, Donald J. Trump! And in this corner, the woman who has been tasked with keeping our country from going to shit, the new speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi! Let’s get ready to rumble!!!

In a Sunday morning tweetstorm, President Donald Trump lashed out at Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Democrats for rejecting his proposal offering temporary protections to some undocumented immigrants in exchange for $5.7 billion in border security funding.

The president accused Pelosi of behaving "irrationally” for turning down his offer.

“Nancy Pelosi has behaved so irrationally & has gone so far to the left that she has now officially become a Radical Democrat. She is so petrified of the ‘lefties’ in her party that she has lost control.”

He added in another tweet, “Nancy Pelosi and some of the Democrats turned down my offer yesterday before I even got up to speak. They don’t see crime & drugs, they only see 2020 - which they are not going to win.”

During an address on Saturday in the Diplomatic Room of the White House, the president presented what he called a “compromise” bill aimed at reopening the government, securing border wall funding, and providing legal protections for some undocumented immigrants. When details of the proposal leaked to the press ahead of the president’s announcement, Democrats swiftly panned the offer as dead on arrival because it did not offer permanent protections for some immigrants. Pelosi called Trump’s proposal a “non-starter.”

Shut up!!!!! If you really were serious about crime and drugs you’d start prosecuting the pharmaceutical companies who peddle addictive opioids and the for profit prisons who lock people for the pettiest of crimes! Those are the people who are really bringing crime and drugs into our streets. And you know Trump is a guy who loves to rub salt in the wound. Think of it like Lucy pulling the football from Charlie Brown and then she spits in his face and kicks him in the ribs as he’s lying on the ground.

President Trump early Sunday sought to sell his new immigration proposal, which includes funding for a wall along the southern border and extended protection for certain immigrant groups, amid pushback from Democrats and hard-line conservatives.

In a series of tweets, Trump chastised Democrats for dismissing his plan, and attempted to assuage immigration hard-liners who likened the administration's latest proposal to amnesty for immigrants already in the country illegally.

"No, Amnesty is not a part of my offer," Trump tweeted. "It is a 3 year extension of DACA. Amnesty will be used only on a much bigger deal, whether on immigration or something else. Likewise there will be no big push to remove the 11,000,000 plus people who are here illegally-but be careful Nancy!"

In two other tweets, Trump singled out Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) for her opposition to the proposal, calling her a "Radical Democrat" and blaming her for the condition of the streets in San Francisco, which falls in her congressional district.

Trump called on Pelosi and Democrats to "do the right thing for the Country & allow people to go back to work" as a partial government shutdown triggered by his demand for wall funding stretched into its 30th day.

I think that would defy all laws of physics wouldn’t it? But in case you’re wondering if Trump’s plan would end this ridiculous shutdown? Well guess what? That ain’t happening! I’m shocked, shocked I tell you! Guess what government? You just got Art Of The Deal’d!!!

It should be good news that both President Donald Trump's Republicans and Speaker Nancy Pelosi's Democrats plan to vote to reopen the government this week.

But since they are voting on vastly different plans, this new phase of their confrontation is more likely to expose the gulf between them than to end the longest federal shutdown in history anytime soon.

Trump on Saturday made his most significant move yet in an impasse now nearly a month in by offering temporary protections for some undocumented immigrants in return for $5.7 billion in funding for his border wall.

As Republicans see it, Trump's speech from the White House is a statesmanlike effort to meet Democrats halfway in a bid to end the partial government shutdown.

"This is a common-sense compromise both parties should embrace," Trump said.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… as if Trump cares about common sense! That’s a good one! Be sure to catch that joke and many others in Trump’s new standup comedy album “Me Standing In Front Of A Wall”, available in the bargain bin of your local Wal-Mart today! And by the way in case you’re wondering who is winning this fight, let’s just say that Trump is Art Of The Dealing himself! He’s winning, you know, in the Charlie Sheen sense of winning.

Nancy Pelosi is winning her showdown with President Trump for one simple reason: She knows how to do her job better than he knows how to do his.

The House speaker is fond of three precepts; spend time with her and you’ll hear them all. One is from Abraham Lincoln: “Public sentiment is everything. With it, nothing can fail; against it, nothing can succeed.”

The second is from her father, an old-school Democratic mayor of Baltimore: “Votes are the coin of the realm.” The third is her own: Never underestimate Nancy Pelosi.

In this battle, she’s winning — and Trump’s losing — on all three counts.

Since the president forced the partial shutdown of the federal government on Dec. 22, public sentiment has run against him and the wall he wants to build on the border with Mexico.


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[font size="8"]Nick Sandmann
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This weekend was the annual gathering of religious conservative white males who want to tell women how to control their bodies known as the “March For Life”. Yes it’s the DC protest where they call on governments to end that thing known as abortion once and for all. But this weekend was different because for once, all the attention was taken off abortion and the debate for or against it. So what happened? Well it’s a complicated story but there was a brew ha ha between boys from a Catholic school in Covington, Kentucky (who, not surprisingly, were wearing MAGA hats) and a Native American Vietnam vet. So let’s let the story do the talking first.

A crowd of students surrounds the Native American man, laughing and filming on cell phones. One boy, wearing a red Make America Great Again hat, stands just inches away from the man's drum, staring at him with a wide smile.

Nathan Phillips, an Omaha elder participating in the Indigenous Peoples March, keeps drumming and singing.

The jeers of the students – and Phillips' stoic response – were captured in a video that has sparked widespread criticism and drawn an apology from a Kentucky prep school and diocese.

The students and Phillips had both converged in Washington, D.C., last Friday. The students, a group of boys from Covington Catholic High School in Kentucky, were there to attend the March for Life. Phillips had come for the first-ever Indigenous Peoples March, on the same day.

Videos show a number of young men and women, predominantly white, jumping, cheering and chanting, in a dense circle around Phillips. Many are wearing Trump paraphernalia, and some are wearing clothing associated with the Covington high school.

Yes, wait a minute hold up. I mean is anyone really surprised at this point that Trump supporters would hurl racist insults and mock Native Americans who were participating in their own march? If you are, you’re either a Trump supporter or you’ve been in a coma. So let’s move the camera back a bit and see what’s in the background?

After short clips of an incident between students from Covington Catholic High School and a man at the Indigenous Peoples March in Washington D.C. went viral Saturday, people are now sharing full-length clips of the incident.

People across social media have responded to the video saying it shows the students were provoked and that the man put himself in that position. One video is almost two hours long.

The indigenous man, Nathan Phillips, said he stepped in to diffuse the crowd of students who were interacting with a group he identified as the Black Hebrew Israelites. Phillips is a Vietnam veteran and Native American elder of the Omaha tribe.

In an interview with the Detroit Free Press, Phillips said the incident started as the Covington Catholic students were observing a group of Black Hebrew Israelites talk, and started to get upset at their speeches.

Phillips said some of the members of the Black Hebrew Israelites group were also acting up, "saying some harsh things" and that one member spit in the direction of the Catholic students.

"So I put myself in between that, between a rock and hard place," Phillips said.

The Enquirer has not verified the identity of the person who took and posted the video. One video seems to be posted by a member of the Black Hebrew Israelites.

And yes that did escalate very quickly! I mean this is why you don’t hold conflicting rallies on the same day, it will never end well for either side. But Mr. Sandmann might be vying for a job on Fox News or AM radio. But well his mom definitely didn’t help the situation at all.

The mother of a boy filmed harassing a Native American man along with his friends at a rally in Washington DC has blamed “black Muslims” for the confrontation, without providing any evidence for the claim.

The teenager was among a group of students wearing Make America Great Again hats who were criticised for intimidating the musician Nathan Phillips, surrounding him to jeer and chant “build the wall, build the wall”.

But his mother claimed “black Muslims” had been harassing the group of Donald Trump supporters from the private, all-male Covington Catholic High School in Kentucky.

In an email to the news website Heavy.com, she wrote: “Did you hear the names of the people where (sic) calling these boys? It was shameful. Did you witness the black Muslims yelling profanities and video taping to get something to futher (sic) your narrative of hatred??

“Did you know that this “man” came up to this one boy and drummed in his face?”

OK maybe the mom isn’t helping the situation. But what about Mr. Sandmann himself in this situation – what was actually happening? Well when you see a group of Trump supporters out in the public square – and in this case, Washington DC, why confront them? You know it’s going to end as badly as it started, think of it like the scene in Stepbrothers where they first meet. And people, stop with the doxing and death threats already. That’s not helping the situation!

Sandmann says he and his family have received threats in the wake of the viral incident at the Lincoln Memorial, and released the statement to correct the "outright lies" about him.

Sandmann said his group was approached by the protesters, some of whom insulted Sandmann and fellow students.

The Indigenous Peoples March in Washington on Friday coincided with the March for Life, which drew thousands of anti-abortion protesters, including a group from Covington Catholic High School in Park Hills.

Videos circulating online show a youth -- who Sandmann says is him -- staring at and standing extremely close to an elderly Native American who was singing and playing a drum.

That Native American man has been identified as Nathan Phillips, an Omaha elder and Vietnam veteran who holds an annual ceremony honoring Native American veterans at Arlington National Cemetery.

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[font size="8"]William Barr
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Hey anyone remember the guy who used to be attorney general – Mr. I’m Too Southern himself - Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III? Well, he got eliminated from the Trumper Games and now we’re about to meet his replacement – William Barr. In case you’re wondering where you have heard that name before, back in the 90s, William Barr is the guy who made mass incarceration great again. Yes, he’s that guy. So now the question is, if he’s the top law enforcement guy in the country, would he be prepared to take on that subject?

In 1992, William Barr, now President Donald Trump's nominee for attorney general, helped engineer regulations that led to mass incarceration. And last week’s Senate confirmation hearings made it clear: In this new age of bipartisan criminal justice reform, calls for more progressive policing and efforts to lower incarceration, Barr is not the man to tear down what he built up.

At no point was that clearer than during an exchange Tuesday with Sen. Cory Booker, D-N.J.

When Booker asked about racial bias within the criminal justice system, and whether Barr recognized how much his policies had damaged the black community, the nominee stated that there may be pockets of racism "but ... overall ... as a system ... it's not predicated" on race and racism.

That's a shocking statement from a candidate for the top law enforcement office in the United States. In order to ensure equal protection under the law, one has to recognize that such protection is — and historically has been — unequal. Barr has failed to do so.

So now you know that William Barr is the guy who made mass incarceration great again. What does he think of unchecked executive power? Never before in United States history have we been under an executive who’s also a crook.

By all accounts, William Barr, President Donald Trump’s nominee for the position of attorney general, is a lawyer of integrity, decency and competence. For that reason, his memorandum of June 8, 2018, raising serious constitutional doubts about Robert Mueller’s investigation, is baffling — a genuine head-scratcher.

It is important to understand exactly why.

Barr has legitimate concerns. The legal definition of “obstruction of justice” is far from clear. Under federal law, a person is guilty of obstruction if he corruptly:

(1) “alters, destroys, mutilates, or conceals a record, document, or other object, or attempts to do so, with the intent to impair the object’s integrity or availability for use in an official proceeding,” or

(2) “otherwise obstructs, influences, or impedes any official proceeding, or attempts to do so.”

Barr is deeply worried about the meaning of (2). His concern is that a broad understanding of (2) would have “disastrous” implications. In his view, it could potentially become a crime for the president, the attorney general or some lower-level official to call for the exercise of prosecutorial discretion, to give some direction about how to handle a case, or to manage litigation and enforcement.

Oh and by the way, speaking of flip flopping, remember when Jeff Sessions promised to do a hard 180 from the way the rest of the country was going on medical marijuana? Well, Mr. Barr looks to stay the course on marijuana rather than continue the route that Sessions was taking. It’s not all bad!

Until the confirmation hearings last week for President Trump’s attorney general nominee William Barr, the cannabis industry had collectively been holding its breath. After the hearings, everyone breathed a slight sigh of relief.

Given former Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ tenure, expectations were understandably low for Trump’s AG pick, despite Trump’s occasional statements of support for medical cannabis. Sessions has been openly hostile to the sector in his words and in at least one major deed.

More than a year ago, Sessions rescinded the Cole memorandum, an Obama-era guideline for the U.S. Department of Justice that directed U.S. attorneys to refrain from enforcing federal cannabis laws against cannabis businesses operating in states where marijuana was legalized in some form and that had effective regulatory and enforcement regimes. Although Sessions never translated his views into a policy of DOJ prosecution during his time in office, the rescission injected a great deal of new uncertainty and concern in the sector.

This is why Barr’s statements about cannabis brought some comfort to the legal marijuana sector.

To Barr’s credit, while not pledging outright to restore the Cole memo, he said in his hearing that he would “not [] go after companies that have relied on the Cole memorandum” nor would he “upset settled expectations and reliant interests” related to it.

Well apparently we have to too, chief. And there’s one more thing about Mr. Barr – you know we’re quickly learning how much republicans are working (and that’s the only work they do) to undermine and obstruct the Mueller investigation. Well, Barr has made the statement that he will allow the investigation to continue. Um… you’re fired.

William Barr, nominated to succeed ousted Attorney General Jeff Sessions, strongly proclaimed his independence from political influence Tuesday.

Barr asserted that President Donald Trump exacted no promises of favoritism and that he would not direct the Justice Department as an extension of the White House.

In a confirmation hearing remarkable for its congeniality, the 68-year-old nominee and attorney general under President George H.W. Bush, provided unflinching assurances that he would allow Russia special counsel Robert Mueller to complete the investigation into Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

“I’m in a position in life to provide the leadership necessary to protect the independence of this department,” Barr told the Senate Judiciary Committee. “I won’t do anything that I think is wrong; I won’t be bullied into doing anything I think is wrong.”

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[font size="8"]Kevin Stitt
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Politicians at the state, national and local levels who are so toxic that you ever wonder how they were able to get into office, much less stay there. This is:

This week: Oklahoma’s new governor Kevin Stitt. If there’s one thing republicans think they can do and do well, it’s run the government like a business. But the government is not a business. And some things just don’t make money. The sooner we accept that as a society the better. They also think that they can mix religion and politics. That’s something that never mixes well and sits in a puddle like when you mix olive oil and vinegar. So how has the two weeks since the inaguaration gone for the new governor of Oklahoma?

Oklahoma's CEO-turned-governor Kevin Stitt rocketed from virtually unknown in politics a year ago to the state's highest office, largely on his reputation as an outsider with no experience in elected office or state government.

Aided by millions of his own money, the Tulsa mortgage company owner defeated formidable GOP primary opponents, including a popular Oklahoma City mayor and a two-term lieutenant governor, before coasting to a 12-point lead over his Democratic opponent in this month's midterm elections.

But Stitt now must pivot from campaigning to governing, a delicate balancing act that requires working with an ideologically diverse Legislature. That has proven difficult for some other business leaders in other states, such as Illinois, who shifted into politics. Unlike the CEO of a company that can hire and fire top executives at will, Stitt faces the reality of being the leader in a weak-governor state, where it can take years to put his own appointees on various agency governing boards.

"One thing people find out once they get involved in politics is that there are some awfully big egos involved," said outgoing state Auditor Gary Jones, a former chairman of the Oklahoma Republican Party who ran against Stitt in the primary. "Being able to work with the House and Senate is going to take some skills."

But… but… elections have consequences. We herd a guy say that on TV once. Of course you are going to get some massive egos in politics. Especially when you start combining politics with religion and running the government like a business. Think of it like that episode of Seinfeld where George tries to combine all of his vices at once.

Newly elected Republican Gov. Kevin Stitt of Oklahoma attended an “Inaugural Prayer Service” today, during which declared that it is his mission to align the state “with what God is doing in Oklahoma,” while his wife proclaimed that it is their responsibility as Christians to use their position in elected office “to go our into our state and save people and bring people to” Jesus.

Trump-loving right-wing evangelist Lance Wallnau was in the audience at today’s prayer service and posted video of the Stitt’s remarks on his Facebook page.

“Every time I would go to prayer and I would say, ‘Lord, what do you want me to do?’ I just felt like he kept saying, ‘I already told you what to do,'” Stitt told the congregation as he recounted his decision to run for governor. “So finally I surrendered … It’s just amazing, nothing in the natural says that I’m supposed to be right here … I’m just so honored to be your governor and I just want to encourage you, when God puts anything on your hearts or on your children’s hearts, we can do anything we put our minds to.”

“I am so excited,” he continued. “It’s not about me. This is something, I pray and I tell our team when we get together, we have an opportunity to join in with what God is doing in Oklahoma … We’re going to engage the non-profits and the churches to really heal and solve some of these social issues, county by county, that the government can’t do, no law can do, but our Heavenly Father can do.”

Because just remember – it’s not about us, or you, or him. It’s about GAWD and doing GAWD’s bidding, and you always know how that turns out. Just ask our resident pastor. But in case you’re wondering what side Gov. Stitt is on, just remember that Mr. I’m More Oklahoma Than Thou, Toby Keith, performed at his inauguration. Remember the last time we saw Mr. Keith? That’s right, the orb.

Country music star and Oklahoma native Toby Keith will be among the performers at a series of events marking the inauguration of incoming Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt.

The three inaugural events will take place between Jan. 10 and Jan. 14 in Lawton, Oklahoma City and Tulsa. Stitt announced Tuesday that Keith would be performing at the Oklahoma City inaugural ball on Jan. 14.

Other performers at the Oklahoma City event include the Oklahoma City Philharmonic, the Cherokee Youth Choir and country singer Jimmie Allen.

Tickets are $250-per-person for the black-tie affair.

Stitt, a Republican and political newcomer, defeated Democrat Drew Edmondson in the November election.

And you might be wondering what sort of issues does Gov. Stitt stand on? He’s a relative newcomer to the scene. Well, guess what? He’s full anti vaccination crusader. Yes, that’s right he is full on anti-vaxxer and believes that vaccines cause autism. Yup, that’s your new governor of Oklahoma.

The Republican nominee for Governor in Oklahoma expressed skepticism of childhood vaccinations in a speech earlier this year, aligning himself with a fringe movement that equates immunization with government overreach.

At an appearance before a conservative political forum this past February, Tulsa businessman Kevin Stitt said he personally did not vaccinate some his own kids and opposed legislation that would require vaccinations for children if they wanted to attend public schools.

“I believe in choice,” Stitt said, “And we’ve got six children and we don’t vaccinate, we don’t do vaccinations on all of our children. So we definitely pick and choose which ones we’re gonna do. It’s gotta be up to the parents, we can never mandate that. I think there’s legislation right now that are trying to mandate that to go to public schools, it’s absolutely wrong. My wife was home schooled, I went to public schools, our kids go to Christian school, and that’s back to a parent’s choice.”

Stitt’s comments raise the specter that Oklahoma could water down immunization laws should he be elected the state’s governor this fall. They also place him within a growing fringe of politicians who have, in recent years, expressed skepticism over the prevalence of childhood vaccinations—a group that includes President Donald Trump himself.

That’s Oklahoma governor Kevin Stitt – another one to add to the ever growing list of:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: LA Teacher’s Strike
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

While the US government is in the midst of one of the worst shutdowns in government history, at the local level teachers are experiencing some of the worst working conditions the country has ever seen, and one district has taken their complaints to the next level and gone on strike. But now that the strike is tentatively over, the question that remains is why? Why did it happen? What are the striking teachers attempting to accomplish? Well the working conditions and teacher salaries paint a pretty abysmal picture in the Los Angeles Unified School District.

If striking Los Angeles teachers needed an omen as they rallied in Grand Park downtown Friday, Mother Nature obliged. After four days of picketing in rain and chill and gloom, the sun burst forth.

“Do you feel your power?” union President Alex Caputo-Pearl asked the masses, who stretched from the steps of City Hall through Grand Park all the way to the Music Center.

They thundered their response.

Union treasurer Alex Orozco reminded teachers that bargaining teams could hear them on the other side of the stage, inside City Hall.

Thousands raised fists, thrust signs skyward and chanted: “Let’s go, team! Let’s go, team!”

With the celebrity help of singer Aloe Blacc, musician Tom Morello and actor Sean Astin, teachers made noise and memories — and also made their point.

Yes, sun’s out guns out! These teachers braved the pouring rain – which rarely happens in Los Angeles anymore – to get better pay and working conditions. But just how bad did things get in the LA school system?

Some San Fernando Valley parents were on pins and needles this weekend to see if marathon negotiations would yield a deal to end a strike that entered its seventh day Sunday.

“I am grateful that the negotiations are underway,” said EvelynAleman, parent of a sophomore at Grover Cleveland High School inReseda. “I’m hopeful that they will, obviously, reach an agreement assoon as possible. I think that would be best for everyone.”

Weekend negotiations lasted 11 hours on Saturday and began anew after 10 a.m. Sunday. While there were no breakthroughs — at least publicly — L.A Mayor Garcetti’s own hope — and expectation — for a deal was evident on Saturday, when he noted the strike while addressing a huge crowd at the women’s march: “They deserve justice and we will get it this weekend,” he said. “Let’s hear it for the teachers.”

Aleman hoped for a message of unity and collaboration from leadership on both sides, and at the city, county and state level. She was surprised by school board member Scott Schmerelson’s statement released last week, which highlighted the discord on the board. She hoped he would have explained how he would “lead the conversation in the direction of the resolution,” she said.

Yes it’s pretty much like that. Once again, the Simpsons predict the future! While we’re hopeful that things are on the right track, negotiations have started that could see the strike ending as early as today with teachers going back to work later this week. So what is in store?

Los Angeles public school teachers reached a tentative deal with school officials on Tuesday to end a weeklong strike that had upended learning for more than half a million students in the nation’s second largest public school system.

The teachers won a 6 percent pay raise and caps on class sizes, which had become one of the most contentious issues between the union and district officials. The deal also includes hiring full-time nurses for every school, as well as enough librarians for every middle and high school in the district by the fall of 2020.

The city and county will also expand programs into public schools, providing more support services for the neediest students.

The settlement came after tens of thousands of teachers marched in downtown Los Angeles and picketed outside schools for six school days, and after a round of marathon negotiating sessions over the holiday weekend.

But as history shows us, our teachers have a long way to go before they’re out of the woods. Rising rent costs in the greater Los Angeles area and things like taxes and other necessary expenditures have hurt growth. And we can hopefully think that things are going to get better as we move forward from this strike.

In a highly anticipated move that for key organizers has been years in the making, more than 30,000 educators on Monday kicked off a strike that’s put regular K–12 classes on hiatus in the country’s second-largest public-school district. A whopping 98 percent of L.A. teachers, who because of stalled negotiations with the district have been working without a contract for more than a year, voted to authorize the strike. They are demanding smaller class sizes and more funding for support staff such as counselors and nurses. They’re also calling for higher pay, though that is less of a sticking point now that the district and teachers’ union are all but in agreement on this front, with the former offering raises that are just 0.5 percent lower than the 6 percent hikes educators are demanding.

Rodolfo Dueńas, an L.A. native and public-school teacher who is picketing, describes this burgeoning movement as a natural next step for the many Latinos like him whose activism can be traced back to the mid-1990s, when thousands of Latino teens staged a school walkout in opposition to an anti-immigrant state-ballot initiative known as Proposition 187. For many like Dueńas in the “187 Generation,” those experiences eventually drove them into teaching. And Dueńas’s generation has been following in the footsteps of the Latino education activists who came before them, during the 1968 walkouts known by some as the Mexican Student Movement.

The L.A. strike is the latest teacher uprising in a string of walkouts across the country over the past year. Strikes took place in Republican strongholds including West Virginia, Kentucky, Oklahoma, and Arizona last spring, all of them generally calling for increased funding and improved school conditions on top of better pay and benefits; smaller-scale walkouts also took place in Colorado and, just last month, Chicago, when teachers at a predominantly Latino charter-school network went on strike to demand things like smaller class sizes and stronger support for immigrant children. While the L.A. strike, which is United Teachers Los Angeles’s first strike in almost 30 years, is the latest installment of a trend driven by exasperated educators, various factors make it unique.

There you have it – Los Angeles isn’t alone, there are strikes happening all over the country. We will cover those in future editions. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Las Vegas! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Have a seat please! And give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? You know… I have just returned from Washington DC. This week there was an event that the religious right of America felt the need to have their voices heard. Which is their right under GAWD that they can do that. So what has the fundamentalists’ underwear in a wad? Why are they going so nuts over this one topic that they need to hold their OWN march? Well let’s take a look at what actually happened last week that got lost in the headlines!

Conservative radio host Ben Shapiro said Friday at the annual March for Life rally in Washington, D.C., that "no pro-life person would kill baby Hitler" because "baby Hitler was a baby," with the comments quickly going viral on social media.

“The argument, I guess here, is that would you kill baby Hitler?” Shapiro said in answering a question that appeared to be submitted online during a live broadcast at the anti-abortion rally.

“And the truth is that no pro-life person on earth would kill baby Hitler, because baby Hitler wasn’t Hitler, adult Hitler was Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby," he continued.

"What you presumably want to do with baby Hitler is take baby Hitler out of baby Hitler’s house and move baby Hitler into a better house where he would not grow up to be Hitler, right? That’s the idea.”

The hashtag #BabyHitler began trending on Twitter not long after the comments on Friday afternoon, drawing the ire of mostly liberals on the platform.


Yes. You know what? Let’s play the clip because it’s quite spectacular:

Now you know, my fair congregation, it says that in the Good Book that murder is illegal! But… that hasn’t stopped the Baby Hitler debate. In fact if you take a look at some past clips, judging on the actions of this weekend, well, they haven’t aged well.

So there you go, the very idea that murdering Baby Hitler has been the subject of some rather interesting debate. But the debate over killing Baby Hitler is actually pretty toxic for sponsors – they really don’t want anything to do with it.

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro has now lost two sponsors of his podcast after a live recording at an anti-abortion rally in which he read advertisements out to the crowd and also mulled over the philosophical dilemma of killing “baby Hitler.”

Calm, a sleep and meditation phone app, became the second company to drop its sponsorship of Shapiro after the right-wing host appeared before thousands of abortion opponents during Friday’s March for Life rally in Washington, D.C.

“We do not align with this message,” the company posted on Twitter. “We’re pulling our sponsorship.”

Earlier Friday night, another brand, the toothbrush maker Quip, told HuffPost it was ending its sponsorship of Shapiro’s podcast over the ad readings.

“Our mission is to make good oral health more accessible to everyone, and podcast advertising is one way we’re able to realize this,” Quip said in a statement. “However, following one of our ads being read in a venue we did not endorse, we have chosen to discontinue our advertising relationship with this show. We are also taking steps to ensure all of our advertising partners are aligned with our oral health mission and values.”

Right Wing Watch reporter Jared Holt first drew attention to the ad readouts during an appearance that had already made news over Shapiro’s “baby Hitler” moment.

But while this is a touchy subject for advertisers, it’s apparently a touchy subject for Mr. Shapiro himself because thanks to his anti-abortion views, he wouldn’t kill Baby Hitler because… he’s a baby. That’s sound logic there!

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro, appearing Friday as the keynote speaker of the annual March for Life on the National Mall in Washington, shared with his audience a head-scratching scenario about abortion and Adolf Hitler.

“The argument, I guess here, would you kill baby Hitler?” he started off, in a clip posted to Twitter. “And the truth is that no pro-life person on earth would kill baby Hitler. Because baby Hitler wasn’t Hitler — adult Hitler was Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby.”

Shapiro, who is Jewish, offered a suggestion: “What you presumably want to do with baby Hitler is take baby Hitler out of baby Hitler’s house and move baby Hitler into a better house, where he would not grow up to be Hitler.”

The crowd erupted into applause as the clip closed.

Shapiro, a prominent supporter of the pro-life movement, appeared to be making his remarks as part of his popular podcast, HuffPost reported.

By the way let’s hear it for my gospel choir. How great are they? Can I get an amen??? Anyone remember a few years ago when Pat Robertson had that clip about the mom who lost a baby to miscarriage and then he justified it? Let’s play that!

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOO! Boo indeed. So they’re conflicted on the message TO THIS DAY in case you can’t tell! And by the way in case you’re wondering if there really is a Baby Hitler out there, well here’s your answer!

A Neo-Nazi couple who named their child after Adolf Hitler are facing jail after they were found guilty of belonging to a banned terrorist organisation.

Adam Thomas, 22, and his girlfriend, Claudia Patatas, 38, were convicted of being members of the far-right organisation National Action, which was outlawed in 2016.

Birmingham Crown Court heard the pair gave their baby the middle name “Adolf”, which self-confessed racist Thomas told jurors was done in “admiration” for the leader of Nazi Germany.

A third defendant - a prominent member of National Action's Midlands chapter, Daniel Bogunovic, 27, of Leicester, was also convicted on Monday following the seven-week trial.

So there really is a real Baby Hitler out there! Raised by Neo Nazis at that! Well, there’s a test for this debate right now! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: The Gillette Ad
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Shut up! Yeah you! Don’t leave! Hey I’m talking to you on both sides! Can we please take a step back, take a deep breath and pull our heads out of each other’s asses? So there’s a new commercial for Gillette razors that has everyone’s collective boxers, boxer briefs, tidy whities, panties, thongs, shapewear, and Depends undergarments in wads and has reignited the ages old debate between toxic masculinism and toxic feminism. Why is this 90 second ad so controversial? Is it because it encourages ultra masculine males to be nice in their lives for once? Or is it trying to reach across the aisle and do something that no ad has done before – and actually attempt to bridge the gender gap? Well you can definitely *NOT* count on it doing the latter. And maybe the former too. So let’s show the commercial first.

That’s not so bad is it? I mean it’s literally putting Gillette’s money where their mouth is by encouraging men to be the best they can get. So why does it have everyone’s underwear in a wad?

Gillette’s new ad campaign invoking the #MeToo movement is the latest test of how big consumer brands can navigate social movements to appeal to millennials without turning off customers who don’t agree with their message or don’t believe it is well-executed.

The nearly two-minute ad from Procter & Gamble Co.’s Gillette tries to tackle sexual harassment, bullying and “toxic” masculinity. “Is this the best a man can get?” the ad released online Monday asks.

The ad, which plays on the tagline Gillette has used for three decades, “The Best A Man Can Get,” has been viewed about 17 million times on YouTube. Reaction has been divided: with 833,000 dislikes on YouTube and 421,000 likes as of Thursday morning.

In the first three days of the ad’s release, there have been more than 1.6 million mentions of Gillette on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, as well as blogs, forums and news sites, according to data from Brandwatch, a social-media monitoring company. Tuesday had the most mentions with more than 893,000, above Gillette’s daily average of about 1,300 mentions for the previous 25 days.


Oh calm down people! It’s just an ad for razors, it’s not like they’re encouraging men to wear tights and high heels or anything. Although if they did, we would have no problem with that! Because that’s what we do here – we analyze the situation before flinging mud at it. But the men that this is targeting really have a problem with this ad. I mean for guys who love to rail on snowflakes, they really are a bunch of snowflakes aren’t they?

The enlightened ad debuted earlier this week and recasts the razor company’s “The Best a Man Can Get” slogan, urging the next generation of men to oppose harassing and mistreating women, stop bullying one another and shave off their “toxic masculinity.” Watch it below.

The company’s short film drew both praise from women’s groups and a backlash from men. As Colbert notes, one such man was “Fox & Friends” co-host Brian Kilmeade, who said, “So let’s point out all the bad things you might say about men, put them into an ad, make men feel horrible, and then say, ‘Overpay for a razor.’”

“Wow, he really gets worked up about ads,” Colbert quipped, joking about what Kilmeade’s reaction might be to other directives. “‘Please drink responsibly? Oh, so now I’m not supposed to crash my car into a nursing home, stumble out and puke in the therapy pool? Thanks for the lecture, Mike’s Hard Lemonade!’”

Colbert said he was “sincerely moved” by the Gillette ad, particularly by the boys featured at the end, but still asked: “Are our public institutions so weak that we need to be taught moral lessons by razor companies? Because first it’s Gillette, and the next thing you know, every company is going to try to jump on the woke bandwagon.”

Well you know, Stephen, let me do some man ‘splainin here. Gillette’s not the first one to do a “woke” ad. Remember last year when Nike hired Colin Kaepernick to be their spokesman and Fox News viewers got worked up for that? This is just another in a list of things that get people “triggered”. And speaking of triggering, everyone’s favorite Fox News Barbie, Tomi Lahren, attempted to troll the ad and it backfired on her big time! Yes, I do realize that last joke was sexist, but that’s what this whole thing is about! Does that make me woke?

Right-wing activist and Fox News contributor Tomi Lahren has a habit of making grand statements on Twitter and then being thoroughly owned for them.

Previous self-owns include the time when she said that she didn't listen to celebrities despite being a Trump supporter and when she was fact-checked by an 11-year-old girl over claims about money spent on the proposed border wall.

Lahren has now waded into the debate surrounding the new Gillette advert, which has created a huge backlash against the razor blade company from men's rights activists and people of a right-wing persuasion.

The advert which addresses toxic masculinity, sexual harassment and the #MeToo movement has seen a boycott of Gillette products and claims that 'not all men' are like this.

Now you might be thinking “Hey! Right wingers are triggered over this discussion! Where’s the wanton property destruction at?”. We’ve seen time and time before how Trump fans destroy property when they think they “own the libs”. Well, here’s your answer!

Gillette is facing a lot of backlash over its new ad.

The Procter & Gamble-owned brand released a new commercial called "We Believe" on Monday.

The ad is meant to confront American culture, showing men and boys bullying each other and engaging in sexual harassment. Narration then encourages them to "say the right thing" and "act the right way."


While some have praised the ad, it has caused an uproar among others. Some have taken to social media to say they are now boycotting the brand and have posted photos and videos of themselves discarding Gillette razors in protest:

Dude, you really think that the people who are throwing their razors in the toilet are the ones who are failing to get the point of the ad? Well now here’s where the salt gets rubbed in the wound. Apparently while some people are failing to see the point of the ad, others are blowing it way out of proportion! I mean it’s a fucking ad people. Do you take Aflac’s commercials as being offensive to ducks? Or Geico’s commercials as being offensive to cavemen? Really?

P&G acquired Gillette for $57 billion almost 14 years ago to the day this year. What seemed to be a brilliant move, buying a high-margin, market-dominant brand, this soured quickly as grooming habits changed and competition intensified. The biggest threat came from Dollar Shave Club, a direct-to-consumer start-up with great appeal for Millennials. It ships its customers a month worth of razors for just $1, a deep discount tin comparison to Gillette’s price.

In the new commercial from Grey, Gillette, a company which made billions of dollars from men for over a century, disparages every one of those very same men. The brand clumsily attempts to contemporize its long-lasting slogan, “The Best a Man Can Get”, by featuring sinister males bullying and harassing – an action which Gillette describes as "toxic” masculinity. The ad is amateurishly stereotypical and mostly offers a caricature of masculinity.

What makes this ad so offensive is that Gillette doesn’t just condemn bad behavior, something most men do as well. It implies that the vulgar behavior represents the norm among men and, in doing so, it smears an entire gender. Substitute another gender, or ethnic group, in place of men”, and you start getting a sense how outlandish this insight is.

The single most insulting moment of the 90-second video comes at :37, showing a bunch of men standing in a row behind their outdoor grills, in menacing posture. It’s not just that it screams clichés and stereotypes. Imagine a row of women as props in front of washing machines or ovens baking cookies (none of the grills contain meat, BTW. Only vegetables. Seems the food police visited the set during the shoot).

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone guess what! We’re all gonna die in a horrible fiery apocalypse! Woooooooo!!! Well at least one sign of the apocalypse is happening this week and like all horrible things that have been happening lately, this involves our good friends in Russia. See, while we’re arguing back and forth about the validity of masculinity in commercials, they’re developing new and better ways to kill us and turn world elections on their ears. This week it was announced that the Russian navy has received a group of smart torpedoes. Great, that’s what we need – missiles that have the ability to become self aware! So here’s how they’re going to kill us this week, and it could possibly be even more horrible than you might imagine!

Russian state news media is reporting that the country’s armed forces will receive more than thirty, long-range nuclear-tipped super-torpedoes. Named Poseidon, the super-torpedoes will be armed with thermonuclear warheads designed to obliterate coastal cities and other targets and spread lethal radioactive fallout. The fast-moving, nuclear armed torpedo would be difficult for U.S. and allied forces to stop, and failure to do so would guarantee the deaths of millions.

Poseidon, originally known as Kanyon or Status 6, was originally revealed in in November 2015 when the weapon’s name and a picture were “accidentally” leaked by Russian state television. The leaked information included a range of 6,200 miles, maximum submergence depth of 3,280 feet and a top speed of 56 knots, which works out to 64 miles an hour on land. The name was changed to Poseidon in 2018, and full scale tests are anticipated to begin this year.

Now, TASS media agency is reporting Moscow will procure 32 Poseidon torpedoes, with sixteen based with the country’s Northern Fleet and sixteen based with the country’s Pacific Fleet. Poseidon missiles based with the Northern Fleet could attack targets in Europe, Canada, and the East Coast of the United States, while Pacific Fleet torpedoes could attack Japan, China, Canada and the West Coast of the U.S.

Poseidon will be the largest torpedo designed by any country, with a diameter of 6.5 feet and a length of 65 feet. It will be nuclear powered, giving it the ability to cross the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans solo. It will be inertially guided, allowing it to avoid the need to surface to get a GPS fix on its position. The warhead was previously claimed to be up to 200 megatons but is now reported at 2 megatons. While not as horribly over the top as a 200 megaton weapon, it’s still worth keeping in mind that 2 megatons = 2,000 kilotons—and the Hiroshima nuclear blast was a mere 16 kilotons.

Calm down, we’re all not gonna die yet. Because guess who Trump has in charge that can ease people’s biggest fears about situations where the entire world is at risk? That’s right, we’ve got Secretary Of State Mike Pompeo. A guy who keeps a Bible on his desk open at his desk every day to remind him of “God and country”. Is it any wonder why he might not be the best man to bring stop the rapture? Or is he here to help escalate it?

Mike Pompeo keeps a bible open at his desk to remind him of “God, and his word and the truth”, he told an audience in Cairo on Friday. The US secretary of state also appears to keep a darts board of Barack Obama’s face in his office. That America’s chief diplomat would give a speech in Egypt is unremarkable. That he would give one attacking the last US president is less normal, though not unprecedented. That he would start with a declaration of his evangelical faith is even less typical, but still pardonable. To do all three at once — attacking America’s last president in the Middle East in a speech to a Muslim audience that was aimed at Christian radicals — is in a category of one. It’s certainly not diplomacy.

But that’s the kind of politician he is. As Julian Borger reminds us in the Guardian, Pompeo is a genuine, end-of-days, believer in the apocalypse. It’s a cloud-parting eschatology he shares with Mike Pence, the vice-president. “We will continue to fight these battles,” Pompeo told a church congregation in Wichita three years ago. “It is a never-ending struggle . . . until the rapture. Be a part of it. Be in the fight.” Generally I believe a public figure’s beliefs should be irrelevant to their job. Whether they’re atheist, Opus Dei, Buddhist or Muslim, should have no bearing on our assessment of their fitness for office. Yet I can’t help but feel anxious that both of Donald Trump’s main global envoys, Pompeo and Pence, have a conflict between their private beliefs and what they publicly claim to be doing.

Hey Christian right, I believe the goal of Armageddon was to stop it, not escalate it! Yeah so Russia is most likely going to kill us all and Mike Pompeo is doing everything in his path to help escalate the situation. But if Russia doesn’t kill us all, North Korea might! Remember when Trump was bragging about how he helped progress with North Korea more than any other president? Would you be surprised that he was wrong this whole time? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you!!!!

WASHINGTON — With a second U.S.-North Korea nuclear summit looming in February, researchers have discovered a secret ballistic missile base in North Korea — one of as many as 20 undisclosed missile sites in the country, according to the researchers’ new report.

The Kim regime has never disclosed the existence of the Sino-ri Missile Operating Base to the outside world. Ballistic missiles are the primary delivery mechanism for North Korean nuclear warheads.

The report from Beyond Parallel, a project sponsored by the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS), a defense think tank, was released Monday and comes after an announcement Friday that President Donald Trump "looks forward" to meeting with Chairman Kim Jong Un next month "at a place to be announced at a later date."

The White House did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

But if you’re going to go through the end times, there’s plenty of people who have your back, like Jim Bakker who sells end times survival food buckets, but for Jesus. But not to be outdone, Costco has entered the Doomsday Prepper market! Gee, this will be the perfect thing to eat from your underground bunker while the rest of the world dies from radiation poisoning!

If we’re all about to wind up in an apocalyptic hellscape, at least Costco is making sure we won’t starve (for awhile)—we may even enjoy our long-lasting, vast quantities of food. On the heels of its near-seven-pound tub of Nutella, Costco now offers a 27-pound bucket of mac-and-cheese with a 20-year shelf life.

Inside the six-gallon bucket are 180 servings of mac-and-cheese, stored in separate individual pouches of noodles and cheese sauce. All this can be yours as a Costco member for under $100.

Or rather, could have been. Time reports that less than 24 hours after People announced the existence of said mac-and-cheese bucket, the item has sold out. Sure enough, it is listed as “out of stock” on Costco’s all-important Emergency Kits & Supplies Section on its website. May we interest you instead in 60 servings of Mountain House Freeze Dried Breakfast Skillet or Lasagna With Meat Sauce for $160? You can also go for Mountain House’s 204-serving, 30-day Outdoor Adventure Meal kit for just under $500. Or, just stock up on those Nutella jars.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font]

Yo Las Vegas – we’re here on Fremont St and I really need a drink!

Now normally the idea behind this segment is that we have a few drinks and discuss just about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. But this week, politics are having a huge effect on the industry that is responsible for this segment – drinking. Yes, the drinking industry is being heavily affected by the Trump led shutdown. So tell me bartender, is there anything that goes well with a craft beer shortage? More beer? Great! I think I will have some beer and then some more beer. But people it’s bad. You know we have that funky president in the White House who is fucking with just about everything and ruining just about everything that he touches. So how does that affect my and your drinking? Well a great deal!

There's trouble brewing in the craft beer industry over the government shutdown.

Because the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) has been furloughed by the partial government shutdown, breweries have been unable to secure necessary approvals from the agency's tax and trade bureau — ranging from permits for new facilities to new labels on cans.

In a business dependent on releasing and marketing new beers regularly to quench its customers' expectations for novelty, those delays could potentially be financially devastating.

"It’s really that question mark that’s the scary part, because we don’t have that end in sight," Mariah Scanlon, brand manager for Smuttlab, a line from Smuttynose Brewing Company in Hampton, New Hampshire, told NBC News.

"You can’t develop a contingency strategy without knowing how long [the shutdown] is going to go on."

Yeah so there unfortunately wont be any of that happening until this mess gets sorted out. But it’s not good right now in the world of craft beer. There’s no ATF and there’s no FDA so that means that breweries can’t get permits to brew and to distribute. But that’s not all. How much worse can it get?

Fat Point Brewing has some beer in a tank without a home inside a can.

The Punta Gorda brewers have had their share of hiccups. They almost shuttered in 2017, before Tampa Bay's Big Storm Brewing swooped in and acquired the microbrewery. Now, just as some of its tap-only beers were finally en route to make their canned debut, another snag.

This time, the federal government.

The government has to sign off every time a brewer comes up with a new variety and label. Three Fat Point beers — including a “malty” 80 Degrees Winter Warmer — are awaiting approval. But Fat Point's Tampa Bay parent company might not hear back for a while. More than 192,000 labels are sitting in an ever-growing queue creating a worrisome backlog for alcohol makers across the country.

The government has to sign off every time a brewer comes up with a new variety and label. Three Fat Point beers — including a “malty” 80 Degrees Winter Warmer — are awaiting approval. But Fat Point's Tampa Bay parent company might not hear back for a while. More than 192,000 labels are sitting in an ever-growing queue creating a worrisome backlog for alcohol makers across the country.

Speaking of which, I need some more learning juice! Ahh… that’s the stuff! So just so we’re being clear this is not existing beers that’s being affected, so go ahead and chug those Stone IPAs, Deschutes Porters, and Widmer Hefs because those are still being produced. It’s new product lines and distribution channels that are being affected. So what that means is that your favorite breweries can’t expand and they can’t market that new 15% barrel aged peach sour at $25 a bottle. How’s that affecting business you might ask?

Mike Yohannes has run a food stand in downtown Washington for the past 20 years, surviving economic downturns while selling hot dogs, candy bars and an assortment of other edible items.

But the latest government shutdown could be the death knell for his business.
Foot traffic is markedly down at the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue and 11th Street where he operates, and Yohannes said sales have fallen about 60 percent during the closure, which has affected nearby federal offices, museums and other tourist spots.

“Business is very, very bad,” said Johannes, adding that he pays about $525 in license and other fees every three months, besides food costs. “If it continues like this another two, three months, I’m looking at another job.”

While President Donald Trump and Democratic congressional leaders haggle over his demand for $5.7 billion to fund a southern border wall – both sides went on national TV to argue their case Tuesday night – millions of Americans increasingly feel the impact of the impasse.

I could down a whole six pack in the amount of time it’s taking to get through this! And this can’t be good for business. I mean we’re three weeks into this mess and it’s only going to get worse. Now if only I had something to ease the pain of waiting for my favorite brewery to produce new beers! I know, I need some more beer!

The federal shutdown is beginning to have an impact on one of Colorado's favorite things: craft beer.

Every time a new beer is produced and sold across state lines, the label has to be approved by the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau. The agency isn't working during the shutdown.

"We spend a lot of time developing our new recipes," says Matt Cutter, the founder of Boulder's Upslope Brewing Company. "Now, all of that is completely on hold."

Cutter says Upslope has quickly grown in popularity over the past 10 years.

"We are in seven out-of-state markets, plus Colorado," says Cutter. "In order to distribute to those states, we're required to have the Tax and Trade Bureau approve the label."

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 26: The Fed
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It’s time for episode 26 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the many branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Fed[/font]

We need some music for this one!

So now we come to the branch of the government that handles our money – the United States Federal Reserve. Known in short as “The Fed”. So what does the Fed do exactly? Well the Fed is basically the central bank of the United States. It’s the branch of government that monitors our money and sets the value of our currency and it also controls the flow of money as to help with current financial crises. Well, with the shutdown over this ridiculous wall, I say good luck with that one! The Fed also regulates the banks to prevent economic crashes. So here’s what is going on with the Fed currently:

Federal Reserve officials next week will continue to stress that they will be “patient,” and that is largely being interpreted at this point to mean no hikes until at least June, economists said.

Since the financial market turmoil after their December meeting, so many Fed officials used the word in their speeches that it felt like the central bank has “done all but take out a Super Bowl ad that repeatedly flashes the word “PATIENT,” said Blake Gwinn, a market strategist at NatWest, in a note to clients.

But what does patient mean exactly?

“A March hike is unlikely at this point, that’s how I would interpret patience,” said Andrew Hollenhorst, chief U.S. economist at Citigroup.

Vince Reinhart, chief economist and investment strategist at Standish, agreed: “They’re saying they are taking a pass on March.”

That’s right – everything burns! Even money! But hey no shutdown agreement means that we have no Fed, so how is that working? How are they dealing with Trump? Well, things are going about as well as you might expect. Why try to argue with the guy who burned the forest down?

President Trump's months-long feud with the Federal Reserve is cooling off as central bank officials indicate a pause in interest rate hikes.

Various Fed officials this week have said they're reluctant to move forward with raising borrowing costs while inflation remains low and the economy continues to add jobs.

The bank's policymakers are expected to hike rates twice this year, down from four times in 2018, but some of the Fed's most hawkish members have moved away from that projection in recent remarks.

Trump has repeatedly hit the Fed and its chairman, Jerome Powell, since July for raising rates. The president has said the central bank poses "the biggest threat" to the economy and blamed it for triggering a December stock sell-off that was the worst since the Great Depression.

But with a rate hike unlikely until March at the earliest, Trump's anger with his preferred economic scapegoat appears to be easing.

Damn straight! Even Mueller is working with the Fed to take down a hostile foreign bank with ties to some dark money. Yes, for you conspiracy theorists out there, there really is an actual conspiracy unfolding in front of our very eyes. Only it doesn’t involve Hillary Clinton and pizza parlors. Instead, it involves Germany!

The Federal Reserve is investigating billions of dollars in suspicious transactions involving Deutsche Bank AG and Denmark’s Danske Bank.

Investigators are examining whether Deutsche Bank’s U.S. operations adequately monitored funds sent through an Estonian branch of Danske Bank A/S, which the Danish bank has admitted handled up to $230 billion in dirty money, reported Bloomberg.

Two sources briefed on the probe confirmed the investigation, which Deutsche Bank denied in an emailed statement.

“(The bank) received several requests for information from regulators and law enforcement agencies around the world,” Deutsche Bank said. “It is not surprising at all that the investigating authorities and banks themselves have an interest in the Danske case and the lessons to be learned from it. Deutsche Bank continues to provide information to and cooperate with the investigating agencies.”

Yes let’s all throw money at the problem! That will make it go away! Except that it helps the rich get richer and the wrong people get rich. Especially when it comes to touchy subjects like our nation’s crippling student loan debt, how does the Fed deal with something like that?

Student debt has obviously forced some number of young adults to either delay or give up on homeownership. But how many, exactly? A group of economists from the Federal Reserve Board have taken a stab at answering that question, and come up with a number that is noteworthy even if some might find it surprisingly low.

Between 2005 and 2014, the share of young adults who owned a house fell by almost 9 percentage points, more than double the drop seen among Americans overall. The Fed team’s upcoming paper, summarized in a new research note, concludes that just 2 percentage points of that decline were due to rising student debt levels—meaning that college loans locked somewhere over 400,000 individuals out of home ownership that year.

That’s not a small number. But it’s a bit below what you might expect, given the generationally important role student debt has played in Millennials’ financial lives.

The way the authors arrive at their conclusion is a bit complicated. Using credit and education data on Americans who were between the ages of 24 and 32 in 2005, they create a model estimating the impact of student debt on the probability that an individual would own a home.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: B-
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re going to get drunk, smoke some cigars and shoot some guns as we hang out with the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”] The Claypool Lennon Delirium[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest are the duo of Les Claypool and Sean Lennon! They have a new album coming out called “South Of Reality” which will be available everywhere on Feb. 22nd. You can see them live on tour this March and April. Playing their new song “Blood & Rockets”, give it up for the Claypool Lennon Delirium!

Thank you Vegas! This was fun! We will be back soon! We are off to Salt Lake City next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Jokester’s Comedy Club, Las Vegas, NV
Special Thanks To: Jokester’s Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UNLV Choir Club, Las Vegas
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
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Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
The Claypool Lennon Delirium Appear Courtesy Of: ATO Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 23, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-2: House Of Carbs Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-2: House Of Carbs Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots!! 15 minutes with us can save you $500 or more on your car insurance. We are back! What’s up Seattle? You guys doing good? Yeah so you know computer glitches and technological difficulties kept us from being here the last time which was back in September, but we are here now! This is a great city, I always have fun when I’m here although I will say visiting in January? Probably not the greatest idea we’ve had lately. But we’re going to hunker down and power through it and move on to the next week because that’s what we do here. At least we’ll get some Beechers Mac & Cheese out of it. Because that’s why we do this – it’s for the mac n’ cheese. I’m just kidding, we do this for you guys. Do we have time for the thing? Yes? OK good. So we have to talk about this old clip that recently surfaced. And for those of you who follow what’s going on you can see where I’m going with this. There was an old western series from the 1950s called Trackdown. And this was a wild west series starring Robert Culp that aired for two seasons on CBS. And one episode in particular is called “The End Of The World”, which was the 30th episode of the series. So the antagonist in the show is named “Walter Trump”. Again, you can see where I’m going with this. Well, Mr. Trump warns the townspeople that impending disaster is coming and that the only way to save their impending doom is guess what? That’s right – a wall. And you know what? Fuck it, we’re going to forgo our usual talk show clip and show this in its’ entirety because it’s utterly spectacular. He even acts like Trump! This is a crazy example of life imitating art. Let’s show that!

So where do we begin for this week? For the number one slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (1) and on Monday, he had the NCAA football champion Clemson Tigers over for the traditional White House visit. But the food he served, well, let’s say it needs improvement. In the second slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (2) and oh my god, the hits just keep on coming and whew, he might have had his worst week ever! For the third slot this week is Steve King (3) and if you have to ask whether or not it’s OK to be racist, you’re a racist. Taking the 4th slot this week is the Alt Right (4) which includes Laura Loomer accidentally proving why walls don’t work and Alex Jones getting his ass handed to him in court, among other things. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week is of course the annual CES in Las Vegas and we’re going to talk about all the strange and weird tech coming out of the conference. In the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and this week our resident pastor is going to ask the question that’s on everybody’s minds – “would Jesus build the wall?”. The answer might surprise you! For the seventh slot this week we have a brand new edition of “Beating A Dead Horse” and in light of Kevin Hart getting snubbed for the Oscars hosting job, how old is too old for a tweet to still be relevant? We will get to the bottom of this mystery! For the 8th slot this week, Youtube star Logan Paul (8) is back in the news for of course all the wrong reasons, and we’re going to ask “Logan Paul’s Youtube Channel: How Is This Still A Thing?”. For the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) we have a new People Are Dumb, because well, stupid doesn’t take a holiday, and neither do we! Except of course for all the holidays we actually do take. And our next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going into deep space and hanging out with NASA! Plus we have some live music for you from Rufus Du Sol! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Week
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Congratulations to the Clemson Tigers for winning this year’s College National Championship. What a game that was! I mean Alabama got their asses handed to them didn’t they? Well the Tigers will get to visit the White House. And remember what an honor that used to be? Well thanks to a certain guy who is currently called president, they might want to reconsider. Especially considering that he’s channeling his inner Richmond Valentine from the movie “Kingsman: The Secret Service”. Or maybe Kevin Spacey from House Of Cards. OK, bad example. Well, Clemson, here’s what you got waiting for you!

The Clemson football team’s visit to the White House on Monday night is going to be a greasy one.

The Tigers were invited by President Donald Trump to celebrate their national championship victory over Alabama and, according to Trump, the menu is going to be all fast food.

“I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King’s [sic], with some pizza,” Trump said. “I really mean it. It’ll be interesting. I think that would be their favorite food, so we’ll see what happens.”

It sounds like Clemson will be getting the authentic White House experience, enjoying some of the president’s favorite foods. In a book about the 2016 campaign, two top Trump aides wrote that the “four major food groups” on Trump’s plane were “McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza and Diet Coke.”

The menu probably isn’t a hit with Clemson Director of Football Nutrition Paul Harrington, though. We’ve emailed Harrington for his thoughts and will update this post if he gets back to us.

That’s right! No shut down means no White House staff which means no White House kitchen staff to cook for the Clemson team! So you could say that this is a House Of Carbs! And by the way this is what happens when the country is run by the less sophisticated – they actually enjoyed it! Either their standards are incredibly low or they haven’t had a decent meal in months! What is Clemson feeding them?

President Donald Trump paid tribute to college football champion Clemson for winning the College Football Playoff National Championship at a White House ceremony Monday evening.

Trump said he paid for their meal of "American fast food'' because of the partial government shutdown. He did not disclose the tab.

"We went off and we ordered American fast food, paid for by me. Lots of hamburgers, lots of pizza,'' Trump said after returning to the White House from a trip to New Orleans. "I think they'd like it better than anything we could give."

Some players "whooped" when they saw the spread, according a pool report.

"We have some very large people that like eating, so I think we're going to have a little fun," said the president, a fast-food lover himself.

Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders said much of the staff that works in the White House residence has been furloughed due to the shutdown, "so the president is personally paying for the event to be catered with some of everyone's favorite fast foods."

Wow, how our standards have fallen as a society. Really he’s the kind of guy who would replace the White House kitchen with a McDonalds and Burger King just because he could. And he’s also fat and has no taste. And by the way let’s show that picture of Trump with the spread.

First off why is Trump like so proud of this? He’s feeding a championship football team garbage fast food that you can buy at the Flying J off the interstate. And second, why is he doing jazz hands? Ah, never mind, I have the answer! Just look at what Abe Lincoln is doing in the background!

By the way you’re wondering how much this spread costs, well…

Trump said, “So I had a choice. Do we have no food for you? Because we have a shutdown,” Business Insider reported. “Or do we give you some little, quick salads that the First Lady will make?”

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders in a statement blamed Democrats for the shutdown and said that Trump was personally paying for the food.

The White House didn’t release the cost of the meal, but some news outlets tried to estimate the expense. The Post worked it out to be $2,911.44—or maybe $2,437.11, depending on whether the food came from the 2-for-$5 menu.

USA Today estimated the expense to be $861.72. Maybe the difference came down to what was included. USA Today didn’t include french fries or pizza, which Trump said would be part of the order, because none appeared in the pictures they used for their estimate.

Yeah so he spent $860 on fucking fast food. Really there were no other restaurants around? I mean you don’t own one that’s literally 5 miles from where you live? That wouldn’t work? Oh fuck it. I give up sometimes. And by the way here’s how much of a flaming narcissist Trump is. Not only did he pay for the food, he also said it was all food he likes, and he didn’t even get the quantities right!

Imagine being invited to the White House for dinner. You pack your best suit or dress and fly up to Washington, D.C. The day of the dinner, the president announces to reporters that he will be serving you fast food. He seems really excited about it. “I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King with some pizza,” he says. “I really meant it. It’ll be interesting. I would think that’s their favorite food. So we’ll see what happens.”

He has to be kidding, right? He really means it? It’ll be interesting? We’ll see what happens? A few hours later you head to the White House, go through security and enter the State Dining Room. This is what you see:

Yes, President Trump served selections from McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King to the Clemson Tigers football team, who were in Washington on Monday to celebrate their national championship. The scene was surreal, with boxes of Quarter Pounders piled high on the White House’s silver serving ware. Sterling gravy boats were stuffed with dipping sauce containers. Fries had been removed from their original packaging and put into paper cups emblazoned with the presidential seal.

Trump was beaming. “I like it all,” the president said as aides lit an ornate candelabra. “It’s all good stuff. Great American food. It will be very interesting to see at the end of this evening how many are left.” He added that “the Republicans are really, really sticking together” and that “we need border security.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Pop quiz hot shot! You’re Donald J. Trump, and we all know that Trump is the best at everything, he knows the most about everything, and you’re faced with a government shutdown that you yourself caused, which is now considered the longest in American history. What do you do? Sulk? Tweet angrily on the toilet about it? Or do you just make shit up? Well if you’re Trump, you can probably guess that he just made shit up. I mean Fox News clouds his brain so much that he literally can’t decipher right from wrong, and you can imagine how well that went.

The Trump administration now estimates that the cost of the government shutdown will be twice as steep as originally forecast.

The original estimate that the partial shutdown would subtract 0.1 percentage point from growth every two weeks has now been doubled to a 0.1 percentage point subtraction every week, according to an official who asked not to be named.

The administration had initially counted just the impact from the 800,000 federal workers not receiving their paychecks. But they now believe the impact doubles, due to greater losses from private contractors also out of work and other government spending and functions that won’t occur.

If the shutdown lasts the rest of this month, it could subtract a sizable half a percentage point from gross domestic product, the official said.

The subtraction from growth would add to the troubles of an economy already thought to be slowing from the waning effects of tax stimulus, trade tensions and gathering global weakness.

And what’s the over – under on how long the shutdown is going to go? Well considering what a man child that Trump is, it could go on indefinitely. He’s actually pretty proud of it. I mean he engineered this and is blaming the dems to get away with it, because reasons. Also, liberal derangement syndrome. So how deep does his LDS go? Well pretty deep.

President Trump on Monday shared an op-ed from a writer claiming to be an anonymous senior member of his administration who harshly criticizes federal workers as disloyal to the White House and worthy of losing their jobs.

The writer of the op-ed, published by conservative news site The Daily Caller, argues the partial government shutdown is an opportunity for Trump to greatly reduce the size of government.

“On an average day, roughly 15 percent of the employees around me are exceptional patriots serving their country. I wish I could give competitive salaries to them and no one else,” the op-ed reads. “But 80 percent feel no pressure to produce results. If they don’t feel like doing what they are told, they don’t.”

Later in the op-ed, the author states that the first goal of the shutdown should be to win better security particularly at the southern border. Uniformed border officials should be paid, but nonessential employees should be let go, the author writes.

So you only want to give salaries to people who you think are “patriots”? And why should that other 80%? You know why they’re not compelled to produce results? Because they’re not getting paid to do so! Yeah money is a big motivator! If I didn’t know any better, I would say this is DJT & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Week. I mean what happens when you painted yourself into a corner when you’re in a round office? Only Trump could do that.

New polling indicates that President Donald Trump does not have a winning option to get out of this partial government shutdown, and his position is deteriorating.

Let's start with the most important fact when it comes to gaming out the shutdown: the President is becoming more unpopular. His net approval rating (approval rating -- disapproval rating) in an average of polls before the shutdown was -10 points. It's now down to -14 points. That may not seem like a big drop but remember this is a president who has had among the most stable approval ratings on record.
Now, one move the President could decide to take to help his own standing is to push harder on the shutdown. Yet, the longer the shutdown goes, and the harder Trump has pushed his position, the more Americans are blaming him for it.

In a Quinnipiac University poll taken before the shutdown, 51% of voters said they'd blame the Republicans for the shutdown to 37% who said they'd blame the Democrats. A Quinnipiac poll conducted over the last week now puts Republican blame at 56% and Democratic blame at 36%. Put another way, voters are 5 points more likely to blame Republicans and 1 point less likely to blame Democrats for the shutdown than they were before the shutdown began.

By the way, no, you fucking idiots, this is not a vacation. There’s people still working and not getting paid any money to do their jobs. This talking point really needs to die the horrible death it very much deserves. I mean you can’t possibly get any lower than thinking people who are basically fired are just taking a vacation.

White House economic adviser Kevin Hassett said furloughed federal workers who are not getting paid during the partial government shutdown are "better off" because they didn't have to use vacation days.
"Huge share of government workers were going to take vacation days, say between Christmas and New Year's. And then we have a shutdown and so they can't go to work, and so then they have the vacation but they don't have to use their vacation days," Hassett told PBS during an appearance on "NewsHour."
On Saturday, the ongoing partial government shutdown broke the record to become the longest government shutdown in US history -- with no end in sight. The shutdown has impacted roughly a quarter of the federal government and hundreds of thousands of federal workers. An estimated 800,000 federal workers have been affected by the lapse in funding -- either by having to work without pay while it lasts or by being furloughed.
"And then they come back and then they get their back pay, then they're, in some sense they're better off," Hassett said.

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[font size="8"]Steve King
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Hey it’s time to play a game!

Hey I’m your host for this game! So… audience… IS IT RACIST??? Yeah probably. I’m of course talking about the fact that Iowa representative Steve King (R-Obviously) screwed the pooch by asking about the validity of white supremacism and why it’s a bad thing in society. Hey Mr. King, if you have to ask, you’re a racist! So why is white supremacy such a bad thing in society? Well for one thing it is against American ideals where everyone is free and equal. And two, I don’t know, we fought a whole fucking world war over it! So what happened?

In a Thursday interview with The New York Times, Rep. Steve King (R-IA) decried the demonization of the term “white supremacist,” and wondered why it had become deemed to be offensive in the first place. King first claimed that he supported immigrants who came to America legally and assimilated into the culture—because, he said, maintaining a white European “culture of America” is more important than maintaining racial homogeneity. “White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization—how did that language become offensive?” King added. “Why did I sit in classes teaching me about the merits of our history and our civilization?”

King’s extremist ideology has ostracized him from some in the Republican Party, but has been embraced by President Trump and is reflected in his agenda. Early on in Trump’s term, the president invited King to the Oval Office, where he boasted of having raised more money for the congressman’s campaigns than anyone else, King recalled in an interview with the Times. “Yes, Mr. President,” King replied. “But I market-tested your immigration policy for 14 years, and that ought to be worth something.”

That is a good question! So Steve King is apparently too extreme for this party, and this is in an era where white supremacism has been made fashionable again! When you’re too extreme for this bunch, that’s pretty fucking extreme. Just how toxic is Steve King?

House Republican leaders removed Representative Steve King of Iowa from the Judiciary and Agriculture Committees on Monday night as party officials scrambled to appear tough on racism and contain damage from comments Mr. King made to The New York Times questioning why white supremacy is considered offensive.

The punishment came on a day when Mr. King was denounced by an array of Republican leaders, though not President Trump. The Senate majority leader, Mitch McConnell, suggested Mr. King find “another line of work” and Senator Mitt Romney said he should quit. And the House Republicans, in an attempt to be proactive, stripped him of the committee seats in the face of multiple Democratic resolutions to censure Mr. King that are being introduced this week.

Those measures would force Republicans to take a stand on the House Democratic majority’s attempt to publicly reprimand one of their own.

Mr. King, who has been an ally of President Trump on the border wall and other issues, has a long history of making racist remarks and insults about immigrants, but has not drawn rebukes from Republican leaders until recently. In November, top Iowa Republicans like Senator Charles E. Grassley endorsed Mr. King for re-election even after one House Republican official came out and denounced him as a white supremacist.

That’s right! Steve King got shitcanned from all of his committee assignments. And that is a pretty big deal to get that to happen. The bottom line if you have to ask whether or not racism is acceptable again, you’re a fucking racist. He’s even so extreme that the republican party has called for him to resign over this remark.

Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wy.), the third-ranking House Republican, on Tuesday said Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) should step down after he questioned why the term “white supremacist” was considered offensive.

“I think he should find another line of work,” Cheney told reporters. “His language questioning whether or not the notion of white supremacy is offensive is absolutely abhorrent, it’s racist, we do not support it or agree with it.”

She said she agrees with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), who on Sunday called King’s remarks to The New York Times “unwelcome and unworthy of his elected position.”

House Republicans stripped King of congressional committee assignments on Monday in response to the veteran lawmaker’s remarks. King had served on the House committees on agriculture, the judiciary and small business.

You tell ‘em Bruce! And here’s the thing – this is the party that made racism and white supremacism fashionable again. It’s all about projection. You know – that thing that Trump tries to do when he can’t think of an actual solution to a problem. And by the way you wonder what they’re saying on Fox? They are literally doing everything they can to avoid the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

With sunrise Tuesday, a new day dawned for Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa). Less than 24 hours prior, the eight-term congressman had been stripped of his committee positions by the new Republican leadership in the 116th Congress, a result of his being unusually careless in espousing his views on white nationalism in an interview with the New York Times last week.

The story had attracted national media attention, with many of his colleagues criticizing the rhetorical question he posed to the Times' Trip Gabriel: “White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization — how did that language become offensive?”

President Trump, at least, reserved judgment.

“I haven’t been following it,” Trump said at the White House on Monday. “I really haven’t been following it.”

In one sense, it’s surprising — unbelievable, really — that a president would be unfamiliar with his party’s House caucus punishing a sitting member. Particularly when that president has faced similar criticism about the nature of his rhetoric. But in another sense, it does seem fitting. After all, much of Trump’s awareness of what’s going on in the world is driven by what he sees on Fox News.

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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So just like Trump is having his worst week ever, the Alt Right is having their worst week ever. Can we all just hope that this alt right fad dies the horrible death it deserves? Can we banish them to the realm of Members Only, MC Hammer, and the Macarena? Well this might be my favorite story of the week. So Alt Right Barbie Laura Loomer (now with 50% more libtard owning catchphrases!), fresh off her recent stint chaining herself to Twitter headquarters (see: Idiots #5-22 ), decided to prove once and for all why having a wall is a bad idea.

Right-wing activist Laura Loomer reportedly jumped the fence around House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's California house on Monday and set up a tent to protest, according to a Daily Beast reporter.

The reporter, Will Sommer, tweeted at around 3 p.m. EST: "Laura Loomer has walked off the stream, on her way to Pelosi's house. One of her crew is claiming that it's legal to jump the fence because there were no 'no-trespassing' signs. I don't know about that!"

"One of Loomer's pals is urging viewers to come and ask for 'sanctuary' at Pelosi's house. He claims they'll be allowed to stay and won't get in legal trouble because 'we're not antifa.' Hmm!" he continued.

"Now Laura Loomer is back and saying she tried to open the doors to Pelosi's house, but they were locked. This seems like an unwise thing to be admitting!"

If you’re keeping score at home, Laura Loomer chained herself to a tent in Nancy Pelosi’s backyard to protest illegal immigration, because, reasons, and in the process single handedly proved why walls don’t work. And by the way speaking of the Alt Right, we have to point out how pathetic Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes is. We might need the Sad Hulk Music for this one!

For months, Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes and his wife, Emily, have been fighting to win back their neighbors in the upscale village of Larchmont, just north of New York City.

Though some townspeople have posted “Hate has no home here” signs for months ― some of them in reaction to domestic acts of terrorism, like the shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh last October ― others, having realized that their neighbor Gavin was the leader of an assault-prone street gang, added signs to their front yards, too.

In response, the McInneses lashed out. Gavin sent letters to those neighbors who displayed anti-hate signs in their front yards, lamenting that they represented an act of aggression against his family. Out of the other side of his mouth, he mocked them and called them “retards” on his podcast. Emily, meanwhile, publicly defended her husband and claimed that the neighbors’ messaging had put their children in danger, while privately she intimidated and threatened legal action against them.

The McInneses’ appeal to the community was plainly disingenuous, neighbors told HuffPost.

Oh womp womp, Gavin. People are tired of your toxic racism and sexism. And speaking of someone who is violently toxic, Alex Jones in what may be the best news of the week – he got his ass handed to him in court and well, the parents of the Sandy Hook victims are about to get their hands on some very valuable info that could potentially destroy Infowars as we know it.

The families of victims in the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School must receive access to internal documents at Infowars, the internet and radio show whose host, Alex Jones, has spread the false claim that the shooting was an elaborate hoax, a judge ruled on Friday.

The ruling was a legal victory for the families, which filed a defamation lawsuit against Mr. Jones, who traffics in conspiracy theories, and Infowars last year. The suit argued that peddling bogus stories was essential to the business model of Infowars, which sells products including survivalist gear, gun paraphernalia and dietary supplements.

A gunman killed 20 children and six adults in the Sandy Hook shooting in Newtown, Conn., just over six years ago, and Mr. Jones helped to spread the idea that grieving relatives of those victims were paid “crisis actors.”

The plaintiffs in the lawsuit are relatives of five children and three adults who were killed, and one F.B.I. agent who responded to the shooting. Their complaint said the families have faced “physical confrontation and harassment, death threats, and a sustained barrage of harassment and verbal assault on social media.”

I really don’t care. Do U? You know it’s not in my nature to kick a man when he’s down, but considering Alex Jones does exactly that, I think we can make an exception for this one! Fuck you Alex, and eat a steaming bag of shit! And by the way do we really need Roku picking up Infowars? I mean come on, Roku, do you really want to be associated with that or be forever known as the official streaming service of Pepe The Frog?

Roku says it will continue to host Alex Jones’ conspiracy-theory channel Infowars despite public outcry, stating that the company doesn’t “curate or censor based on viewpoint.”

In a statement, first reported by TechCrunch, Roku says that it is not “promoting or being paid to distribute InfoWars” and that it does “not have a commercial relationship with the InfoWars.”

Roku has been receiving angry tweets from users over the past few days after many noticed that Infowars continues to be available on the TV streaming device, as first reported by DigiDay. Infowars, known for its hateful content, was effectively de-platformed last year after being booted from Apple’s App Store, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter, dramatically limiting its ability to reach viewers.

But Roku says that Infowars hasn’t broken any of its rules. The company says it prohibits publication of content that is “unlawful, incites illegal activities, or violates third-party rights,” but that “to our knowledge, InfoWars is not currently in violation of these content policies.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: New Tech at CES
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[br] B

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

The Smart Home industry has become a hundred billion dollar industry over the last few years. Led by Apple, Amazon, and Google, such devices have become common household place. But now this year at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, things have taken a drastic turn. Smart home devices have become even smarter. There’s some really cool and interesting tech, and there’s also some weird tech, and there’s even some adult oriented tech, and that’s mainly in the upstairs CES. So what new technology do consumers have to look forward to?

For all the cool gadgets that get shown off at CES, there’s also a bunch of things that make even the most jaded tech bloggers squint in a mix of confusion and amused befuddlement. Some of it you’ll find on the main show floor, others you’ll find in the nooks and corners at the Sands Expo and Eureka Park.

Like, who needs an RGB space toilet or a booth where a smart bidet just blasts a constant stream of water at a plexiglass wall? Why are there eye massagers built from hot-plates that burn your eyelashes off? Why are we not questioning why some booths are straight up selling vibrators as face massagers? Does anyone really want a smartphone app that can read and track your sperm count? Should helicopter parents really be buying camera probes to take pictures of their babies’ inner ears? And in 2019, is it really necessary to have a Lamborghini massage chair surrounded by scantily clad booth babes gyrating to heavy metal? What about a personal watercraft shaped like a swordfish?

The answer to all of these questions is a resounding “no.” But still, the weird, bizarre, and oddly inexplicable gadgets are part of what gives CES its charm. It just wouldn’t be the same show without them. Most of these products won’t ever make it beyond the show floor, so that’s why we’ve decided to showcase them here for posterity.

Yes of course it is necessary to have all those things. And in fact our bathrooms are getting smarter as judging by the ridiculous amount of smart bathroom products that are becoming readily available for consumers as early as the next few months. Do really need a smart toilet? No.

We’ve all had those moments in the bathroom where we’ve had a pressing question come to mind and been uh, too occupied at the time to get an answer. Well, here’s one way to solve that problem. American manufacturing company Kohler is showing off an all-new toilet at CES 2019 that has support for voice assistants built right into it.

The Kohler Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet exists in a space somewhere between luxury and excess. According to the company, the toilet has practical features like water efficiency checks that make sure you’re never using more water than necessary. It has convenient features like smart lighting that makes it easy to see your way around the bathroom even in the dead of night — and those lights are interactive, multicolored, and dynamic so they can adjust to the setting.

It even has personalized cleansing functions that make sure the toilet is set to your specifications, including a heated seat and drying functionality.

Then there’s a feature that you probably never thought you’d see in a toilet: Voice control. The Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet has high-quality speakers built right into it, and those speakers come equipped with Amazon’s voice assistant Alexa. If you have a question while you’re sitting on the toilet, just ask Alexa. You can also run your home automation processes while in the bathroom. You can even have Alexa queue up your favorite playlist and watch the toilet’s lights sync up to the beat. Your bathroom can double as your own personal dance club if you so desire.

Alexa, please add “colon cleanser” to my shopping list. Thank you Alexa. And yes of course people still talk about the possibility of flying cars. Of course this has been prevalent in society ever since the movie Back To The Future Part II showed us what flying cars are capable of. It’s 2019 and we still don’t have a skyway that can take us from LA to London, damn it!

Everyone talks about how CES has become the main auto show of the year, pushing the Detroit Auto Show from its long-running time in January to June starting in 2020. But it's not just cars or what goes in them on display at the tech show in Las Vegas.

Hold on tight for some of the funkier, over-the-top concepts, prototypes, and even real production vehicles that vie for the spotlight at the massive tech trade show. Here's a collection of electric flying vehicles, electric motorcycles, three-wheeled scooters, and much more. And, as always, we can't forget the e-scooters.

The LiveWire — Harley-Davidson's first all-electric motorcycle — was on display after the motorcycle-riding community learned this week that pre-orders are now open. The bike is expected to arrive in August and will cost about $30,000.

This is not a concept vehicle — it's actually coming, and soon.
Personal flying vehicle

The ElectraFly from Deseret UAS is a hybrid-electric one-person flying vehicle. But getting someone to willingly strap into the device might be a hard sell. It's still a prototype, but the company envisions this as a tool for military or emergency services. Eventually the flying machine wants to become an air taxi. That'll be quite the ride to hail.

We really want to live in *THAT* 2015 by the way. And by the way if you’re looking for weird technology, the CES is full of it. Everything from smart diapers to the electronic equivalent of a pet rock to electronic refrigerators that remind you when to buy more beer.

The future is going to be weird. At least, that’s the impression we get from what we've seen at CES 2019 in Las Vegas. The annual consumer tech show is notorious for wacky inventions, strange gadgets, and providing tech solutions for problems you didn’t even know you had (a toilet that plays music, anyone?)

From robots that live to love you, to machines that fold your laundry for you, this year’s show has been no exception – even the humble television has had a total reconfiguration thanks to LG’s rollable OLED model that wowed us with its unique mechanical design.

Prepare to be amazed, amused, and bewildered, as we bring you our pick of the weirdest gadgets we’ve seen at CES 2019:

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Seattle! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! We live in troubled times right now. The world is going straight to the place where the sun don’t shine. And in our good book, does it not say that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would welcome strangers with open arms? Well those who stand by the Dark One, whose name shall not be named in my church, support his almost certainly evil plan to close our borders and ward off those who are seeking help in desperate times! They do not support the good LAWRD JAYSUS, instead they support the most immoral, inhumane Dark One who would ever dare to call himself a leader!

Never mind all that stuff in the Bible about welcoming the stranger, or “I was hungry and you gave me to food eat…” What Jesus really would like to see is a wall across the southern border of the United States; so say leaders of the Religious Right as President Donald Trump prepares to make his case in a prime-time address this evening.

While most focus on their demand that Democrats in Congress approve $5.7 billion in funding for the wall that Trump promised his groupies he’d build, a few are even egging him on to declare a national emergency and invoke those powers to re-open the government and grab money from the Pentagon in order to pay for the wall.

The current partial government shutdown is the result of Trump’s demand that Congress include those billions for the wall in the appropriations legislation required to keep the government operating. Democrats, who now control the House of Representatives, have declined to accede to that demand.

Now what might supporters of the Dark One say that would justify such an atrocity? I ask *YOU* my fair congregation! Well, the man who is literally destroying the notion of “separation of church and state”, Pastor Jeffress, said that there will be walls around Heaven! Really, now! Has he died and gone to Heaven? How would he know?

First Baptist Dallas pastor Robert Jeffress is voicing his support for President Donald Trump's demand for a wall between the U.S. and Mexico, saying Democrats are "morally liable" for what he called a humanitarian crisis at the southern border.

Jeffress, an outspoken supporter of the president, appeared on the Lou Dobbs Tonight show on Fox Business last week amid the government shutdown over Trump's dispute with Congress for border-wall funding.

During the appearance Friday, Jeffress likened the border wall to a fence around a swimming pool. If someone has a pool without a fence around it, they could be liable if a child wanders into the water and drowns, he said.

"By opposing this president and his desire to build a wall around our border, I believe the Democrats are morally liable for the death of children, the assault of women, of the humanitarian crisis we’re seeing at the border right now," he said.

Jeffress, a regular Fox News contributor, praised Trump's Oval Office address in which the president pitched his $5.7 billion funding request for the wall and repeatedly referred to a "crisis" of violence and drug-smuggling.

What’s even more insane is that Pastor Jeffress doubled down and went after critics who don’t like the Dark One’s plan! And really, who can argue with his justification? I mean if building a wall is immoral that must mean that GAWD is immoral too? You betcha!

Megachurch evangelical pastor and vociferous supporter of U.S. President Donald J. Trump, Robert Jeffress, defended the security plan of the GOP leader by saying that even Heaven will have a wall. During his interview with FOX & Friends, he made these statements as a kind of reply to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s description of the US-Mexico border wall as “immoral.” Pelosi is an elected Democrat from California. Jeffress is the senior pastor of the Dallas First Baptist Church.

In Trump’s defense, Jeffress said “The Bible says even Heaven itself is gonna have a wall around it. Not everybody is going to be allowed in. So if walls are immoral, then God is immoral.”

The right-wing pastor then targeted Democrats and termed them immoral for opposing President Trump’s grand plan to keep Americans safe. He also shed doubts concerning the morality of liberals who support the activities of “sanctuary cities.” These cities provide a safe haven to illegal immigrants. The pastor was effusive in praising Trump in the interview, saying that Americans should thank God for a president like him. According to the pastor, Trump takes his oath of office quite seriously and does not shirk from anything to keep the country safe. Jeffress, to boost his pro-Trump speech, took excerpts from the Old Testament to make his case. He especially quoted the Book of Nehemiah. As per scriptures, Nehemiah, a Jewish leader, was instructed by God to erect a wall encircling Jerusalem to keep its inhabitants safe. It is believed that Nehemiah was a local chief living in 5th century B.C. The president latched on to the flow of the interview pretty quick. During his Oval Office address, Trump said politicians do not construct walls around their residences as they hate people living outside. The walls are built as they love those who live inside.

Now Pastor Jeffress, I ask this with all of my deepest sincerity as a pastor myself – do the walls keep the unwanted out, or do they keep you in? I think it would do more the former than the latter! Thank you audience! Can I get an amen???? And by the way how great is our gospel choir? But if you really want to know where the support for the Dark One lies, look no further than your local church!

In setting out the Trump administration’s Middle East policy, one of the first things Mike Pompeo made clear to his audience in Cairo is that he had come to the region as “as an evangelical Christian”.

In his speech at the American University in Cairo, Pompeo said that in his state department office: “I keep a Bible open on my desk to remind me of God and his word, and the truth.”

The secretary of state’s primary message in Cairo was that the US was ready once more to embrace conservative Middle Eastern regimes, no matter how repressive, if they made common cause against Iran.

His second message was religious. In his visit to Egypt, he came across as much as a preacher as a diplomat. He talked about “America’s innate goodness” and marveled at a newly built cathedral as “a stunning testament to the Lord’s hand”.

The desire to erase Barack Obama’s legacy, Donald Trump’s instinctive embrace of autocrats, and the private interests of the Trump Organisation have all been analysed as driving forces behind the administration’s foreign policy.

And that passage is in our book, by the way! So there you have it, the people who claim to be the believers of good support the most immoral, inhumane man to ever be leader of the free world! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Old Tweets
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There’s been a lot of controversy in the news lately about old tweets. Yeah, you might have sent that extremely poor taste transphobic joke 10 years ago but does that mean that its’ relevant to the kind of person you are now? Hell no! Most likely it was a scenario like our president Donald J. Trump who spends most of his morning hours angrily tweeting on the toilet. And you can always tell how angry Trump is by the quality of his tweets based on what time of day they are and whether or not he’s using his unsecured iPhone. It’s 3:30AM and he’s angry tweeting about Pocahontas again? He must have really had to take a colossal shit! But that aside, we’re going to talk about two scenarios - Kevin Hart who lost his Oscars hosting job after some old tweets surfaced. The other is Guardians Of The Galaxy director James Gunn – who lost the job of directing GOTG 3 after some old tweets surfaced. So let’s talk about Kevin Hart first.

Well into the new year an old controversy from 2018 continues to dominate the headlines. After being announced as the host for this year’s Academy Awards, The Upside star Kevin Hart publicly stepped down from the gig after a series of his old homophobic tweets resurfaced. Over the past week Hart has tried several times to address the issue in a series of statements, appearances and posts, several of which have only fanned the flames further.

Initially, fans and LGBTQ activists asked that Hart to apologize for the tweets, but the star refused, saying that he had “addressed” the controversial statements already. The situation seemed to come to an end on Tuesday (Jan. 8) when Hart went on Good Morning America to say that he was “done” talking about his past behavior, while definitively saying that he would not host this year's Academy Awards even if producers asked him back.

So what exactly happened? How did this situation start? When were the star's "past apologies" made? How did the whole thing go viral, and what brought Hart to where he is now? Here's a complete timeline of the Hart Oscars controversy:

Yeah so he said that what… 10 years ago? Why does he have to apologize for it now? Well let’s compare that to Guardians Of The Galaxy director James Gunn and what he had to go through for a very similar situation. This is a case of “same shit, different day”!.

Disney Studios cut ties with "Guardians of the Galaxy" director James Gunn on Friday, shortly after Gunn took responsibility for old, offensive tweets that joked about topics including rape and pedophilia.

"The offensive attitudes and statements discovered on James’ Twitter feed are indefensible and inconsistent with our studio’s values, and we have severed our business relationship with him," said Disney chairman Alan Horn in a statement obtained by USA TODAY.


The firing occurred one day after groups including conservative website The Daily Caller dug up old tweets from the filmmaker's feed. Gunn is openly liberal and a known critic of President Trump.

According to Fox News, one of the now-deleted tweets said, “I like when little boys touch me in my silly place.”

You know this begs the question – do alt right websites like the Daily Caller have Google alert listings setup for “pedophile news”? I can guarantee I don’t! They are obsessed aren’t they? Well there’s two scenarios there – both not that dissimilar from each other. Now here’s where it gets beaten to death, because why wouldn’t it?

It only takes a few seconds to search for something on someone's Twitter account. With the right terms and a little bit of intuition, one may even find something that threatens to take down an entire career.

It's happened time and time again. Most recently, to Nick Vallelonga, a producer for "The Green Book," a feel-good story about interracial friends during the era of American segregation. He had to answer for an Islamophobic tweet from 2015 in which he supported President Donald Trump's false claim that Muslims in New York City cheered during the 9/11 attacks.

It happens to stars on the rise and stars at their peak. Late last year, actor Kevin Hart stepped down from hosting the Academy Awards, a gig he once described as a "dream," after tweets from 2009 to 2011 surfaced that contained homophobic language. In the world of sports, athletes at a critical juncture in their career -- an important game, a draft decision -- have been repeatedly waylaid by their own words that could have been dug up by anyone with a Twitter account and a vague inclination.

The question is, how does it keep happening at all? We live in an age of tweeting grandmas and child YouTube stars, of hyper-curated Instagram universes and infinitely expanding digital literacy. A reasonable level of social media awareness is not too much to expect -- for stars or the people that manage them. Why do famous people, whose images are central to their relevancy and livelihoods, keep letting themselves get played for their old bad internet behavior?

But is it? Let’s examine a bit further why celebrities have a tendency to tweet out offensive shit and the answer is actually pretty obvious!

"Every single one of us has bad thoughts," says Brian Harrington, a personal branding consultant in Los Angeles. He helps people build digital footprints that communicate an authentic image, and that can mean contending with controversy.

"As cool as someone like Kevin Hart is, there are going to be parts of him or anyone else that someone isn't going to like."

Yup that’s it exactly! No matter how famous or cool anybody is, someone is going to have a problem with it. Just ask anyone who’s appeared in a Star Wars movie in the last 5 years not named Mark Hamill or Carrie Fisher. Oh really, sir, that’s the joke you choose to leave on? You’re just proving my point exactly! And to further expand on this, let’s ask Idiocracy and Brooklyn 99 star Terry Crews what he thinks about the subject!

Actor Terry Crews has weighed in on Kevin Hart’s response to the controversy surrounding the comedian’s failed opportunity to host the 2019 Academy Awards.

Hart had been tapped late last year to host the ceremony, but resurfaced homophobic tweets –and his inability to appropriately apologize– cost him the gig. A late attempt by comedian Ellen DeGeneres to get Hart the hosting gig again also failed.

And now Crews, who is friends with Hart, has been able to perfectly explain why Hart was unable to properly overcome the scandal in time to reclaim the hosting role.

“He feels like he’s being attacked,” Crews told BuzzFeed’s Twitter show “AM to DM”. “But the truth is, he’s not.”

“The truth is, Kevin, you’re not being attacked,” he continued. “The truth is you have to just acknowledge what went on and acknowledge the pain of other people. That’s all anybody’s asking for. That’s it.”

That’s all well and good Terry, but that almost never happens! But this could explain why no one wants to host the Oscars anymore. Maybe people don’t want to be subjected to that kind of scrutiny? Hey it’s almost like running for president! Almost.

It’s been 30 years since the Academy Awards did not have a host. Do you remember it? That was the year Rain Man won Best Picture in a walk, leading all nominations with eight and wins with four. There were innovations and wrinkles at the 61st Oscars: Presenters began to say “And the Oscar goes to …” rather than the standard “And the winner is …” Comic writer Bruce Vilanch, a longtime Oscars staple, was hired to pen bits for the ceremony for the first time by show producer Allan Carr. Lucille Ball made her final public appearance. Throughout the night, real-life Hollywood couples like Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal, Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum, and Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell presented awards. Beau, Jeff, and Lloyd Bridges appeared together, as did Vertigo stars Kim Novak and Jimmy Stewart. Composer and three-time Oscar winner Marvin Hamlisch served as musical arranger for the show. It was the year of Big, Working Girl, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Dangerous Liaisons, The Last Temptation of Christ, Bull Durham, A Fish Called Wanda, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, and Married to the Mob, all of which were nominated in some form.

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Logan Paul’s Youtube Channel. How is this still a thing? If you don’t know who Youtube star Logan Paul is, you’re probably better off not knowing. Logan Paul first gained traction on the video streaming service Vine and then moved to Youtube. His videos are known for generating a ton of controversy. Last year, he earned internet notoriety for visiting Japan’s infamous “Suicide Forest” and mocking the victims who took their lives there. And in case you thought he couldn’t sink any lower than that, it gets worse.

One year ago today, YouTube star Logan Paul was facing a heavy storm of criticism for a video he posted on his popular channel. In it, he and his friends were seen walking into Japan's Aokigahara forest -- an area well-known for being a place many go to end their lives -- and coming across a body. Paul showed the body in the video, only blurring the deceased's face, and he and his friends proceeded to laugh and make jokes about the situation in the recording.

The backlash began almost immediately, with many, including fellow YouTubers, speaking out against the video, how Paul behaved in it and the intent behind it. While Paul claimed he and his friends were there to document the "haunted aspect of the forest," critics pointed out that with the forest's reputation, it seemed highly unlikely that Paul and his entourage weren't aware of what they might find. It also seemed quite plausible that they went there in search of it to begin with.

As criticism mounted, Paul released an apology, first in a tweet and then in a video. And he claimed he didn't post the video for the views. "I did it because I thought I could make a positive ripple on the internet, not cause a monsoon of negativity," he said. YouTube faced calls for change as well, with YouTuber Laci Green calling it "a sociopathic garbage fire" and others saying the company had a responsibility to prevent videos like that from ever being published.

In response, both YouTube and Paul pledged to do better. But did they?

After taking a brief hiatus, Paul returned to YouTube with a video centered on suicide prevention, which included interviews with John Draper, the director of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and activist Kevin Hines, among others. In the video, Paul shared ways to help those who might be considering suicide, pledged to donate $1 million and claimed the video was "just the beginning" of his self-education journey.

You mocked suicide victims, and forced Youtube to change some of its’ policies and apologize for your stupidity, what did you expect? Well in case you thought that he couldn’t possibly get any more insensitive, he goes and does this.

A year after the YouTube personality faced a wave of criticism for posting a video — which showed the body of an apparent suicide victim in Japan’s Aokigahara forest — Paul made a controversial remark about his 2019 New Year’s resolutions, sparking an immediate backlash from fans.

During an episode of his “Impaulsive” podcast on Wednesday, the 23-year-old and his co-host, Mike Majlak, explained that they were going to try a new resolution every month starting with “Sober-Vegan January” and “Fatal February.”

“We’re going to go the opposite,” Majlak said of February, noting the two will be eating steaks, drinking “big bottles” of vodka and “just wilin’ out.” For March though, the co-hosts said it was “Male-Only March.”

“We’re going to attempt to go gay for just one month,” Paul stated. “For one month, and then swing, and then go back,” Majlak added.

No… just no. You don’t “go gay” for a month. And if you have to apologize to the internet for something that they found completely insensitive and out of touch with reality, you done fucked up good sir! And if you’re wondering just how low a comment as stupid and insensitive as this was, well, be prepared for the backlash that follows!

Logan Paul, an internet personality with nearly 19 million followers on YouTube, has caused an uproar for saying that he wants to “go gay” for a month.

Paul, who made headlines last January after sharing a giggly video of a suicide victim in a Japanese forest, is best known for his goofy and laid back online persona. However, many people said that he went too far on his podcast, “Impaulsive,” last Wednesday.

Logan, talking about his resolutions for each month of the new year, said that he plans to have a “sober, vegan” January and a “male-only March.”

“It’s male-only March. We’re going to attempt to go gay for just one month,” Paul explained.

Many people wrote on social media that Paul implied that being gay is a choice, and clearly does not take the threat of homophobia seriously.

“That’s not how it works, @LoganPaul,” LGBTQ rights nonprofit GLAAD wrote on Friday.

Yeah that’s pretty low and blatantly false advertising there, Logan. By the way in case you’re wondering how his ill-fated boxing match with featherweight boxer Ryan Garcia went, well, let’s just say it did not go as expected, and Garcia got a TKO against Paul in a matter of minutes:

Ryan Garcia knocked Logan Paul to the floor with a flurry of hellacious punches following an appearance on his podcast.

The American, 20-year-old, super-featherweight boxing prospect was a guest on his fellow countryman’s show ‘Impaulsive’ this week and let the host sample a portion of his power punching after filming.

Paul, 23, is a YouTuber/Vlogger with over 18million subscribers who partook in a boxing event against rival British YouTuber Olajide ‘KSI’ Olatunji in August.

The pair are due to rematch this year, but Logan Paul has first endured a beating at the hands of Ryan Garcia, who pummelled him to the floor in an Instagram clip.

Garcia has amassed an impressive following during his development as a professional, gaining big exposure across various social media platforms despite being just 17-0.

So Logan Paul makes insensitive comments about the LGBT community, suicide victims, and got his ass kicked hard. Both literally and figuratively. That’s enough to make you ask – Logan Paul’s Youtube channel:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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[br] B

Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. Stupid never takes a holiday and even though we did a People Are Dumb last week, there’s plenty of stories this week. So I want to start with this story out of Witchita Falls, Texas. Yeah you’ve probably all seen it. And this is a perfect example of life imitating art. Remember that episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia where Danny DeVito’s Frank Reynolds goes so far off the deep end that the gang has no choice but to give him an intervention and hopefully get him into rehab? And then it backfires spectacularly. Well, this woman took his concept of wine in a soda can a bit too far and well, we’ll let the story do the talking.

Wichita Falls police received a rather unique call Friday morning involving a woman drinking wine in a Walmart parking lot.

Employees requested officers to ban a woman from the local Walmart store after she reportedly had been drinking wine from a Pringles can for several hours while riding on an electric cart.

Hughes said the reporting party said the suspect had been riding around in the store's parking lot since 6:30 a.m. while drinking the alcoholic beverage.

So was it Barbecue Merlot or Pizza Pinot? Just don't mix the Smoked Cheddar with a Malbock, that's just bad for your pallet! Next up, we have this story out of Salt Lake City. Look, look. I’ve seen the hit Netflix movie “Bird Box”, and even I know that you should never attempt to drive your car with all the windows covered and painted. Because this happens:

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Police say a Utah teenager crashed into another car when she covered her eyes as part of the so-called “Bird Box Challenge.”

Layton police Lt. Travis Lyman said Friday that the 17-year-old drifted into oncoming traffic and hit another car after she pulled a hat over her eyes to emulate “Bird Box,” a Sandra Bullock movie on Netflix where characters must be constantly blindfolded to avoid visions that urge them to die.

Videos of people trying to do things while blindfolded have attracted widespread attention online, and Netflix tweeted a warning about the challenge last week.

No one was hurt in the Monday crash north of Salt Lake City.

Lyman says it should serve as a warning he never thought he’d have to give: Don’t drive while blindfolded.

Obviously, don’t drive blindfolded, that’s the take away that you get from this story. Next up, we have this story out of Houston, Texas. And even if you’re the owner of a super fast car like the Dodge Viper, don’t drive it as fast as this guy did, especially through a toll booth with the Houston Chief Of Police going through it.

If you ever find yourself in front of daunting red and blue lights, be thankful they don't belong to Houston's top cop – like one Houston driver experienced Friday.

Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo was driving on the Hardy Toll Road when the driver of a Dodge Viper allegedly blew past him at 140 mph, the chief told Chron.com.

"It almost took my doors off," Acevedo said describing the moment.

He radioed the driver into police dispatch and gave chase in his police Chevrolet Tahoe, topping out around 120 mph, he said.

Next up, what’s our good friend Florida Man been up to? Well if you’re in a situation where you’re being threatened with a machete, I would definitely question the sanity of anyone who then brings up a different kind of threat.

SANTA ROSA COUNTY, Fla. (WTXL) - A Florida man is behind bars after he reportedly said he was going to kill his neighbors with a machete that had the word "kindness" written on the side.

Bryan Duane Stewart, 30, has been arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

WEAR obtained an arrest report that detailed how Stewart was arrested.

Deputies responded to a home in Milton for reports of banging and yelling. According to their report, a witness saw Stewart say, "he was going to 'kill'em with kindness.'"

The neighbors then went over to the home because a woman and child were inside. WEAR reports Stewart then grabbed a small machete knife with the word "kindness" written on the side and tried to stab one of the neighbors.

Stewart also ended up cutting another neighbor who tried to help. When authorities arrived, the report says Stewart had a strong odor of alcohol coming from him and was belligerent.

Finally this week, we have this story out of Odessa, Florida. And seriously, I know that you might be a fan of a particular kind of sandwich – like the Philly Cheesesteak for instance. And if it doesn’t come a certain way, it’s easy to dismiss it. But this guy went full blown psychopath on a vendor at a flea market for this.

ODESSA, Fla. - A Florida man was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge after he got into an argument with a cashier about a cheesesteak sandwich, according to authorities.

Joseph Lagana, 27, of Port Richey, was at the Gunn Highway Flea Market in Odessa on Sunday when he got into an argument with a cashier about receiving a sesame seed bun on a Philly cheesesteak, according to a Pasco County Sheriff's Office affidavit.

A deputy called to diffuse the situation said Lagana was "being loud and argumentative" to patrons at the flea market and "appeared heavily intoxicated."

Lagana was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge.

He was released after posting a $100 bond.

And that’s why you don’t order a cheesesteak at a flea market. That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 26: NASA
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It’s time for episode 26 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 32 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]NASA[/font]

We need some music for this one!

Can we also get Neil DeGrasse Tyson to host this one for us? Oh. My producer is telling me that he’s currently unavailable. So we’re going into deep space this week by hanging out with the National Aeronautical and Space Administration, better known as NASA. America has had a love affair with space since the 1960s and you can see NASA in a ton of movies whether it’s real life based Apollo 13, fictional The Martian, or comedy fare like Space Cowboys and Men In Black. So what does NASA actually do? For one thing they monitor all space traffic – think of them as your local traffic reporter but with much more sophisticated technology! In fact one of their missions is to monitor when a meteor could possibly wipe out all of humanity. Can you give us a little more advanced warning than Armageddon and Deep Impact had please?

There were some alarming headlines floating around over the weekend about how NASA has revealed a sure sign that would indicate the apocalypse is coming. This heart-pounding warning traces back to a video released on Jan. 10 from educational YouTube channel Big Think.

The video poses the question "Would scientists tell us about a looming apocalypse?" to NASA astronomer Michelle Thaller.

NASA has a history of being forthright about its work. You can browse its online database of near-Earth objects and scout for close approaches.

NASA is also busy studying potentially hazardous asteroid Bennu through the Osiris-Rex mission. What we learn about Bennu will be helpful as scientists develop plans for protecting our planet from an asteroid impact.

There are plenty of real things to fret about in this world, but NASA hiding evidence of an incoming Earth-shattering asteroid isn't one of them.

Thankfully space travel has come a long way since the days of Wiley Coyote! And while we can breathe a sigh of relief currently, there’s some asteroids currently hovering toward earth which will prompt NASA to be able to test out its’ system for detecting asteroids that are hurdling toward our planet.

The asteroid, dubbed by NASA Asteroid 2019 AG3, made a so-called “Earth Close Approach” today. NASA’s scientists at the California-based Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) have tracked the asteroid down to a 2.18am GMT (UTC) flyby. The startling revelation comes just one month after the rogue asteroid was first spotted by radars on December 12, 2018. NASA did not expect the space rock to hit the Earth anytime soon but the asteroid’s imposing size was a good enough reason to track it.

The JPL estimates Asteroid AG3 measures somewhere in the range of 210ft to 459.3ft (64m to 140m) in diameter.

An asteroid this big is about twice the wingspan of a Boeing 747 aeroplane.

Asteroids measuring 460ft (140m) across are considered “Potentially Hazardous Asteroids” (PHAs) if they approach the Earth close enough.

The largest known PHA is the gargantuan Apollo asteroid which is believed to measure roughly 4.3 miles in diameter (7km).

Thankfully our rockets are not made by Acme Corporation! NASA is also the home of a branch located in Pasadena, California – known as the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. And if you’ve seen the Matt Damon flick the Martian you know that JPL played a crucial role in developing emergency technology to help aid in his rescue. That and also the shit potatoes. But did you know they can also do cool shit like 3-D print space parts? Yeah kind of like in Avengers: Age Of Ultron!

Engineers at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) are set to contribute to the development of a hybrid 3D printing technology from the Advanced Manufacturing Research Centre (AMRC) in Sheffield, UK.

Known as THREAD, this method is capable of adding fibrous electrical, optical and structural elements, or “threads,” to the inside of plastic/polymer components.

It has been developed at the AMRC in collaboration with multinational aeronautical corporation Boeing and, according to creators, it is a “a potential game-changer” for 3D printing and the wider manufacturing industry.

The first details of Boeing and AMRC’s THREAD process surfaced in 2017 following a patent-filing by the method’s inventor Mark Cocking. At the time of this release, 3D Printing Industry interviewed Cocking who revealed that the technique is “not tied to a single AM process platform,” though initial patents relate to its addition to an SLA technique.

Of course now the harsh reality about how things are going. If the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, were in charge when the Martian takes place, Matt Damon’s Mark Whatney character would probably be left to die out in the harsh wilderness of Mars, because we currently have no government, and thus, no NASA. But at least we’ll have Space X and China to help privatize space exploration!

The local chapter of the American Federation of Government Employees, which is affiliated with the AFL-CIO, plans a rally calling for an end to the government shutdown.

The rally will happen on Tuesday at noon in front of the sign at NASA’s Johnson Space Center at 2101 NASA Parkway in southeast Houston.

Bautista is a NASA employee and the first vice president of AFGE Local 2284. He is one of about 2,800 NASA workers who have not been at work for more than three weeks.

He told KPRC 2, "I'm a young person with a lot of student debt. I left school with about $100,000 worth of student debt. So, for me, I'm able to cover a few paychecks. But beyond that, the bills will start stacking up."

Approximately 300 workers continue working, without a paycheck, in order to continue critical work, such as supporting the International Space Station. As a U.S. government employee, not even the American astronaut nearly 250 miles from Earth, living on board the space station, will receive a paycheck.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: C-
Likely hood To Survive: C+

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re going to be taking another look at a crucial cabinet position when we check out the department that handles our money, the Fed!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Rüfüs Dü Söl[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a great band from Australia by way of Santa Monica. Their latest album is called “Solace” and you can see them at the Greek Theater in San Francisco on July 20th. Playing their song “No Place”, give it up for Rufus Du Sol!

Thank you Seattle! We had a blast! We are off to Vegas next live from Fremont St! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Comedy Underground, Seattle, WA
Special Thanks To: Comedy Underground Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Cavalry Chapel Choir, Redmond, WA
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 16, 2019, 06:00 PM (6 replies)
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