February 23, 2020

I have been making jewelry and accidentally got into other things...

I’ve learned how to drill holes in glass and ceramic (which is a long, difficult, tedious process), just as one example. I repurpose things that people are no longer using. I’ll take pictures of some of the things I’ve made (like bird baths out of old Italian dishes).
But now I’ve gotten into wind chimes. I’ve always loved the sounds. I have learned to cut pipes and drill holes in the metal and I use a variety of materials for the tops. Recently, I “rescues” a wicker chair that was waiting trash pickup, and took it apart and cut the pieces. These have been my tops lately. I’m going to attempt to show pics of 2 that were requests. One was for a NE Patriots fan and one was for an avid gardener who grows (among other things) milkweed for the migrating butterflies. Since it’s winter here still, it’s in her house, hanging on a grandfather clock, so it’s not as easy to see the details. My hands are gnarled from Lupus, so I can only do this on certain days, but I find it peaceful and fulfilling. Now I’m working on two others: One for a dragonfly lover, which is almost done, and one for a woman who trains therapy dogs (so it has stones with paw prints hanging from it).
I’m going to try to attach pictures as a comment. Hope it works! Any suggestions or feedback would be great. 🥰

February 19, 2020

Twice

Hours and hours pass on by
Infinity by seconds
The past is catching up to me
The future comes to reckon

My judgement wasn’t always clear
I didn’t take advice
I don’t believe it’s a mistake
Unless you make it twice

The clock ticks down the minutes
As the minutes turn to days
Eternity has always been
The temptress of our ways

The promise of eternal youth
The fountain of my vice
It’s not a sin to drink from it
Unless you drink it twice

Forgive me from
All that I’ve done
I didn’t do it twice

The time has come
To pay the price
I’ll have to pay it twice.

February 19, 2020

Broken Promises

Colors change to dark from blue
As yellow cracks the blackened hue
Rain evaporates the sky
Another chance, another lie.

Electricity fills the air
Shockingly, I just don’t care
Before the first translucent drop
I realize I’m too deep to stop

Why is it so hard for you
To make a promise, see it through?
I told you when we tried again
I’ll see this to the bitter end

The thunder rolls, the wind it roars
On fate’s path to your front door
Drops connect as puddles form
This is not your average storm

The light of day’s turned dark as night
I’m blinded til one flash of light
Your eyes lock mine in deadly fright
We’ve past the line from wrong to right

Why is it so hard for you
To make a promise, see it through?
I told you when we tried again
I’ll see this to the bitter end

The pouring rain erased my tracks
And any sign of an attack
Sunshine came back to the skies
And shed the light on all their lies

People come to pray and mourn
They wonder if my heart is torn
I never give them a reply
Bad things come to those who lie.

February 19, 2020

Worshiping the Bottle

You worship at the alter
Of some unholy creed
Your gospel is the scripture
Of want instead of need
You’re looking for salvation
At the bottom of a glass
You know it isn’t perfect
But it’s good enough to pass

Pass the bottle
Cure what ills you
Numb the pain
Before it kills you
Crush the powder
Choke the pills down
The pain of life
Might really drown you.

So worship in the darkness
Surround yourself with lies
Say a prayer to emptiness
And never say goodbyes
The gospel truth won’t own you
If it melts down with the ice
Your savior is another shot
Your God, another vice

Pass the bottle
Cure what ills you
Numb the pain
Before it kills you
Pass the plate
For all that’s right
Reality’s not worth the fight
Crush the powder
Down the pills
You might survive
Afraid you will

So Preach unto the choir
Of Never Never Land
The devil will spin stories
That you can understand
Then pray for your salvation
At the bottom of a glass
Drink away your memories
Amen that they don’t last

Pass the bottle
It’s easier that way

Numb your whole life
Erase another day

Pass the bottle
Cure what ills you
Numb the pain
Before it kills you
Crush the powder
Choke the pills down
The pain of life
Still somehow found you
Pass the bottle...

February 19, 2020

Hearts

Thank you for my Valentine’s! I forgot my password and was ill so didn’t work on getting a new one until yesterday. (I still have been reading DU daily, though. 💕

October 4, 2018

I've been trying to frame the narrative around assault.

Many people, especially men, cannot relate. Now I’ve tried Sept. 11th. Here, in the NJ, NY, PA tri-state area, this has had an impact. I’ve learned that the more you move away from this area, the less people were impacted directly and emotionally, so I’m not sure if this will universally work. Here’s what I’ve been saying:
“She can’t remember how she got home. Her friend doesn’t remember.”
“Do you remember Sept. 11th?”
“Of course. Every last detail. Like it was yesterday.”
“What did you do that Sept 10th?”
“I have no idea.”
“Right. Because that was a day like every other day. That was the party to her friend Leland.”
“What did you have for breakfast on the 11th?”
“I don’t know. It didn’t seem important.”
“That’s was Dr. Ford getting to the party. Since you forget the time surrounding the attacks on Sept 11th, should I assume that you’re making it up and it didn’t happen?”
I’ve tried it on Twitter. Crickets so far. In person, people open their mouths to argue, leave them open long enough to catch flies, and either walk away or mutter something. Nobody continues. There is no longer a debate.

July 12, 2018

I'd like to post some poetry regarding domestic violence

I don’t think it’s violent and, although meant to give pause, I am hoping it won’t upset anyone. I have seen so much blaming of the victim that I wanted to share.
I’ve been through many changing moods through this series. This was my “tough girl” anthem that I don’t think will upset anyone. I don’t always rhyme, but this one does.
Please, if you feel that this topic is too painful, let me know before I get deeper. This one is just flip:

I Ran. Big Deal.

Take his pictures
Off the walls
Change your status
Block his calls
Give all his t-shirts
To Good Will
Even though you
Wear them still
Pretend that you
Don't want to die
Sleep with 14
Other guys
Find a pawn shop
Sell his shit
Tell the world
You're over it.

July 6, 2018

Lupus, then shingles, now staph. Should I worry?

I’m on maintenance chemo for Lupus (SLE). Came down with shingles. Doc said it’s fairly common with my lack of immune system. Then it became infected. Today lab results came back that it’s staph and concerned about MRSA. Local doc ordered antibiotic. My Lupus doc is in Philly (about an hour and a half away) and closed for the weekend. The local doc knows nothing about Lupus. I mean NOTHING.
Anyone here know more than my local doc? Should I be worried?

July 5, 2018

Went to see the fireworks in Seaside Heights NJ

I live about an hour south, and have always gone to our very small town July 4th celebration at the lake, but haven’t been able to for 2 years for reasons that I’m ALMOST ready to talk about. So last year, we watched from a boat in the Atlantic and this year I wanted to try being around people (PTSD). What I noticed were a whole lot of people who “some people” would not consider “Americans.” Quite a few from the UK, other parts of Europe, Eastern Europeans (who often work the rides on our boardwalks), but about half Hispanic. Seaside, itself, is a very mixed race/nationality area in every way. They have parades for just about every nationality you can think of. Maybe a smaller melting pot. Well, naturally, some guy with a NOT NJ accent (no, we don’t say JOISEY) had to bring up all the Mexicans with expensive sneakers. I don’t know the first thing about sneakers, but I had to say, “How do you know they are Mexican?” He said, “Well, they’re speaking Spanish.” I said, “And they are all decked out in pride in red, white, and blue. Ever occur to you that they are here legally and make a decent living in our multilingual economy?” He froze for a minute, looked at their patriotic clothing, and said, “No. It never really did.”
He walked away. I’m not sure if anything sank deeper into that noggin of his, but I was proud of my stand, especially considering where I’ve been these last two years. I was glad I didn’t end up with a black eye (5 foot blonde lady, here) but for a few minutes, I didn’t care.
Oh, and the fireworks were spectacular!

July 5, 2018

Pics from the protest in NJ that my son attended...

Geez, just realized I’ve never posted pics, but I’ll try. The posters are my sister’s. She’s an artist. I’m proud, but also jealous. Mine would have a stick figure and some innocent person would ask, “I’m sorry, but is that a? I don’t know, snake? Stick? Balloon on a stick?” She’s awesome, and even more awesome to have brought my son while I was ill.
Apologies ahead of time if I can’t get the pictures ASAP, but I’m sure with help, they will come to you! IMG_0745.jpeg
I’m only attaching the first. Let me know if it works, and if not, what I’m screwing up!