No Vested Interest
No Vested Interest's Journal"Church's views on divorce and remarriage.... based on idealized view
of marriage".
You have that right, Fortinbras.
As are so many of the Church's rules and practices, but it is most egregious in the area of marriage and sexuality.
Most sins in general are committed by one person and that person is therefore responsible.
But marriage, being the interaction of two people, is far more complicated, as one person's actions can/does lead to a response, for good or ill, of the other person, thus creating other responses in the first person.
This is where Pope Francis has it right when he says (words to the effect ) "If someone is of good will, who am I to judge?"
I do understand that being under duress as you are now
can lead to too many thoughts, ideas swirling around in your brain, making it hard to zero in on one at a time to figure out the best choices available to you.
It's good that you are reaching out via DU, borrowing some of the best minds (!) around.
It might help every few hours to sit or lie down and try to clear your mind, by breathing deeply and repeating one or a few calming words over and over.
Ex. "Peace".
I'll have you in prayerful thought as you work through this problem over the next few days.
Peace.
Have you contacted the St. Vincent dePaul Society? Are you familiar with
their work?
You can google St Vincent dePaul Society California. Under "Sacramento" a number of nearby cities, including Fairfield are listed. I did not see in your postings the name of your current town, but 27 different cities/towns in No. California are listed there, including Fairfield and Vacaville.
St. Vincent dePaul helps with rent payment. They make a home visit, so you would, as suggested above, need to stay in your current place at this time. They do not proselytize, so your religion or lack of religion does not matter.
In Sept. a DUer was looking for assistance with his expenses. I recommended St. Vincent dePaul and he was able to contact them and get needed assistance, even though he said on DU that he was not a religious person.
Best wishes to you over the next few days and weeks.
Perhaps you've done this already, but if not, you could get him
some printed explanations of the various programs he's eligible for and leave them with him, to read over at his own convenience.
If necessary, you could get or leave him with information for one program at a time, so he could digest that, without feeling too pushed.
I believe the author, Mr. Carroll, is somewhat harsh and incorrect re the annulment
process, although I admit to having no personal or close experience with that process myself.
Children are not de-legitimatized, in that the marriage from a civil standpoint did occur; therefore children of the religiously annulled marriage are still "legitimate," i.e., not bastards, in the civil sense.
Most often, what are termed "impediments" are not recognized or even recognizable until long after the marriage ceremony, i.e., for example, the complete will to commit to a lifetime of marriage is not only not present, nut unknowable.
I understand that parties to the annulment process may feel "insulted", though, objectively, that is not the intent. Often, non-Catholic visitors to a Catholic Mass feel "insulted" that they are not invited to receive communion, or, as non-Catholics, they may not be the formal witnesses to a marriage or godparents at a baptism. I do not have a ready answer to these perceived "insults", for we can not expect non-Catholics to fully understand the Catholic doctrines that preceded these practices.
That said, I am fully in accord with any move towards simplifying and expanding the annulment process or in otherwise making all persons that wish to be fully functioning members of the Catholic Church.
Until more recent years, and even now in some countries,
The Christmas season began on Christmas Day, Dec. 25, and continues until Jan 6, the feast of the three Kings..
Advent was considered a penitential season, rather than a season of joy. Fasting was done in Advent, in preparation for Christmas Day.
Do you know what is causing you to fall?
Is it poor balance?
Is it weakness of legs, feet, etc?
Is it poor vision?
I'm up in years myself and haven't fallen as yet.
My vision has gotten poor and I believe that has affected my balance.
I often carry or use a cane, especially when walking where the underpinnings might be uneven, slippery. etc.
I have a colorful little foldable cane that can be whipped out when it seems appropriate.
Good luck in avoiding bruises and falls.
This reminded me of what my father (born 1905) and mother (born 1908) would have
played with a children.
My Dad's mother died of sepsis of age twenty-one, when he was one month old, so his young father took him and his sister back to the family house, where several young aunts undoubtedly doted on them, though I have no reason to believe that toys and other material goods were showered on them. It didn't occur to me until after he died how normal he turned out, considering he didn't have a mother's love while growing up.
My Mom was the middle of three sisters. Though, again, I have no reason to think that toys, etc. were lavished on them, the sisters were trained in the arts, my mother being an accomplished pianist.
Thanks for sending me back to this period.
You are a wonderful daughter, and you're both blessed to trust and
know each others mind.
May you have a lovely Christmas celebration together. It's the way familes were intended to be.
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Gender: Do not displayHometown: Ohio
Home country: USA
Member since: Mon Oct 15, 2012, 02:46 PM
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