Even Mike Pence's plane is trying to run away from the Trump campaign.

"Mike, come with me if you want to live...."

President Donald Trump's Daily Security Briefing...

INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY
A group of US military, FBI, NSA, and CIA officers enter the Oval Office and approach President Trump who is sitting behind his desk tweeting on his phone.

ARMY GENERAL: Mr President, it's time for your daily briefing.

TRUMP: Let me finish this tweet. Rosie O'Donnell was complaining about the 19% unemployment rate. (he presses send button) That will teach her. Someone remind me to audit her taxes after lunch. What are you people doing here?

ARMY GENERAL: Mr President, it's time for your daily briefing.

TRUMP: Fine. Get on with it.

CIA MAN: Russia has moved two divisions onto the German border.

TRUMP: Of course, it's OctoberFest. The best beer.

NSA OFFICIAL: North Korea tested 2 nukes last night, on Japan.

TRUMP: I told them to get their own nukes.

FBI AGENT: ISIS has taken over Israel.

TRUMP: You people call this a briefing! What's going on with my hotels? What is the occupancy at the Doral Resort? Are we getting full rate at the Old Post Office Hotel?

ARMY GENERAL: Mr President, we need to deal with these security threats. We're going to mobilize a Navy strike force in the Mediterranean Sea.

TRUMP: Has anyone even visited the open house for that condo I'm selling in Boca? Get out here. I need to call Ivanka for a real briefing.

The men leave the Oval Office. Trump turns to his speaker phone on the desk. The light on the button indicates an open phone line.

TRUMP: You get all that Vladimir?

A voice from the speaker replies.

PUTIN: Got it.

The End

So Donald Trump plagarized the Melania joke about plagarism.

This is why irony and satire are dying folks.

Donald Trump just learned why it's called Breitbart.com, not Breitbart.comedy.

"When they go low, we go high." Well done Hillary!

She Killed it at the Al Smith Dinner
He stunk up the place and Hillary took the high road and gave a speech that uplifted the room.

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AT THE AL SMITH DINNER?

He has no handlers.
The biggest train wreck Ive ever seen on stage.

and they are booing Trump at the Al Smith dinner. Holy cow he can't do anything right

Trump didn't lose any debates, Hillary WON them all by being Presidential, prepared

and totally awesome in every way.
Yes Trump was bad but she would have beaten any of the 15 people trump beat for the GOP nomination on those stages too.
Don't let them downgrade her victories here because he's an idiot.
Actually her victory here is greater because he didn't play by any rules of decency whatsoever.

Relax, Trump will give a much in demand concession speech....

The catch is you're going to have to buy it on pay-per-view.

MSNBC just reported that Trump is bringing an old girlfriend of Amb. Chris Stevens to the debate

WTF?!
Seriously?
The man has a mother who has told Trump to stop using his death for political purposes.
How many wives or women's votes is he going to win by bringing an old girlfriend of the guy to rub in Hillary's face.
This man has no idea what it takes to be president.
He has no decorum or sense of decency.
NONE.
I'm so pissed off