May 22, 2013

Joke: The Breakfast Arguement

A man and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.

As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't that good in bed either!"

By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.

After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone.

"What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"

"I was in bed."

"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"

"Getting a second opinion."

May 21, 2013

Clearly one of the most stupid headlines I have ever seen..from Huffinton Post..

why stupid?????????

At no point in this story does it say how many calories does this container have? I had to share this. How many calories is this portion?...the story does not say, anywhere..what is the point?
___________________________________________________________________________________________


Mega Potatoes from Mc Donalds Japan is the Chains Most Caloric offering ever..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/21/mega-potato-french-fries_n_3313397.html

McDonald's Japan has given the term "supersized" new meaning with its new "Mega Potato" French fries, which combines the contents of two large fries in one super-wide container.

It's an interesting move, considering that other parts of the world are trying to put the breaks on the obesity epidemic that is, in part, fueled by a global obsession with fast food.

May 21, 2013

Nutty Finding: Olive Oil and Nuts Can Protect Your Brain : NBC News

NBC News:
http://vitals.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/05/20/18380822-nutty-finding-olive-oil-nuts-can-protect-your-brain?lite

By Maggie Fox, Senior Writer, NBC News

It might seem against all logic, but adding a little olive oil or a handful of nuts to your diet each day may help keep your mind clear, researchers reported on Monday. It’s the same diet that’s also been shown to reduce deaths from heart attacks and strokes.

The researchers found that people who ate these healthy fats were less likely to show the early signs of dementia than those who stuck to a more traditional diet. And this was done in Spain -- where people are already eating a so-called Mediterranean diet.

“Our findings support increasing evidence on the protective effects of the Mediterranean Diet on cognitive function,” Miguel Martinez-Gonzalez of the University of Navarra in Spain and colleagues reported in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry. The findings come from a large and well-publicized trial that showed the Mediterranean diet rich in fruits, vegetables, olive oil and a little wine can cut the risk of heart attacks and strokes by 30 percent. Martinez and colleagues took a part data on 500 volunteers from their own study center, who were followed for more than six and a half years after starting the diet.

May 20, 2013

An old clean one..."The Radar Trap"..

> A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders
along a well traveled stretch of highway. The location, at a bend in
the road, allowed him to hide his car out of sight of oncoming
traffic while setting up his radar to nab any speeders who passed by.
He had used this location successfully a number of times, especially
on holidays, and decided to use it again on a Labor Day weekend.

The officer arrived at his hiding place and set himself up, settling
down to wait for the first speeders to appear. After a half hour or
so the officer hadn't seen anybody speeding. In fact most of the cars
that passed him were traveling exactly at the speed limit, and some
of the passengers in the passing cars were even smiling and waving at
him. He couldn't believe this was happening since his hiding place
was so well concealed.

Finally, after realizing that virtually all the passing cars knew he
was there, the officer decided that something was wrong and went to
investigate. He got out of his car and walked up the road a short
distance. About 100 yards before his hiding place the officer found
the problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the side of the road
with a huge hand painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD."

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's
good friend, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a
sign reading ......"TIPS".... and a bucket at his feet, full of change and dollar bills.

May 18, 2013

a very interesting word. fuck..

> Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English
> language is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word, which, just
> by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In
> language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be
> used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive
> (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really
> gives a fuck) or a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck); or
> an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), and as a noun (Mary
> is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking
> beautiful). As you can see, there are very few words with the
> versatility of "fuck".

> Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to
> describe many situations:

> Greetings How the fuck are you? Fraud
> I got fucked by the car dealer. Dismay
> Oh, fuck it! Trouble Well, I guess
> I'm fucked now. Aggression Fuck you.
> Disgust Fuck me. Confusion What
> the fuck...? Difficulty I don't understand this
> fucking business. Despair Fucked again.
> Incompetence He fucks up everything. Displeasure
> What the fuck is going on here? Lost
> Where the fuck are we? Disbelief
> Unfuckingbelieveable. Retaliation Up your fucking
> ass. Telling time I have to work till 5
> o-fucking-clock.
>
> It can be used in an anatomical description -- "He's a fucking
> asshole."

> It can be used to tell time -- "It's five fucking thirty."
> It can be used in business -- "How did I wind up with this fucking
> job?"
> It can be maternal -- as in "Motherfucker".
> It can be political -- "Fuck George Bush."
>
> And, never forget General Custer's last words: "Where did all them
> fucking Indians come from?"
> Or the Mayor of Hiroshima: "What the fuck was that?"
> And last, but not least, the immortal words of the Captain of the
> Titanic: "Where is all this fucking water coming from?"
> The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word. How
> can anyone be offended when you say fuck?
> Use it frequently in your daily speech; it adds to your prestige.

> Today - say to someone "Fuck You!"

May 17, 2013

Beware of Google... an example of lies and wrong info:

google:

Oil Refineries in Illinois

Just those words...look down. 4 items..
You will see a listing of 3 companies. try it...
__________________________________________________________________________________
Flint Hill Resources.
23425 S Youngs Rd
Channahon, IL
(815) 467-6005

___________________________
these two are fakes.......

6037 Lenzi Ave
Hodgkins, IL
(708) 354-4040
Beaver Oil Co Inc



8195 Pyott Rd
Lake In the Hls, IL
(815) 459-9010
Sierra Petroleum Co Inc

They don't refine nothing...
Beaver Oil....is a recycle company that actually cleans oil
Sierra Petroleum.....distributes gasoline..
......that is all ...it does not refine anything

Yet google says there they are refineries in Illinois and two of the three refine nothing.
.How this happened?...I don't know..all I know is that a lot of people who look for Oil Refineries in Illinois will get the wrong information.

The new generation of students will not really know because it took me an hour and a half to actually find the truth.
But this is what we are up against...just to let anyone who reads this know that few students will look past what appears to be true..and really isn't...

________________________________________________also...it has a map of those three companies..one of these is in Hodgkins
the other is in ...Lake in the Hills.........No...there are no oil refineries in either of those places...even though they are marked with large letters B and C. Look for yourself at that map.

This is the correct list of those near Chicago:

Lemont Refinery (Citgo), Lemont 160,000 bbl/d (25,000 m3/d)
Joliet Refinery (ExxonMobil), Joliet 238,000 bbl/d (37,800 m3/d)
Robinson Refinery (Marathon Petroleum Company), Robinson 206,000 bbl/d (32,800 m3/d)

May 17, 2013

Joke: About a betting woman...one of my favorites of all time..

An elderly lady walked into the Upton
National Bank Building
holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the
young man at the window
that she wished to take the $3 million she had in the
bag and open an account with the bank.
She said that first, thought, she
would like to meet
President of Upton National Bank. Due to the amount of
money involved the
teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request
and after opening the
paper bag and seeing bundles of $ 100 bills which
amounted to right around $3 million, telephoned the President's secretary to
obtain an
appointment for the woman.
The woman was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's office
Introductions were made and she stated that she liked
to get to know
people she did business with on a more personal level.
The bank president
then asked her how she came into such a large sum of money.

Was it an inheritance?" he asked.

No," she answered.

Was it from playing the stock market?" he inquired.

"No," she replied.
He was quiet for a second, trying to think of where this elderly woman
could possibly have come up with $3 million dollars.,,
I bet," she stated. As in horses he asked?
No," she replied. "I bet people." Seeing his confusion she stated that
she just bet on different things with people. All of a sudden she said,
"I'll bet you $100,000 cash that by 10:00 o'clock tomorrow
> morning your balls will be square.

The bank president figured she must be off her rocker
and
decided to take on her on her bet. He didn't know how he could
lose. For the rest of the day,.he
was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening
take no chances and took it very "easy" as
there was $100,000 at stake.
When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he
checked to make sure that
everything was okay. There was no difference in his
scrotal appearance. HE
looked the same as he always had. He went to work and
waited for the woman to come in at
10:00 o'clock, humming as he went. He knew that this would be his lucky day.
how often did he get handed $100,000 cash for doing nothing?
At 10:00 o'clock sharp the woman was shown into his office.

With her was this man.

When the bank president asked what the other man was doing in the
office, she informed the president that he was her
> lawyer and she always
took him along when there was that much money and large sums of cash involved.
> "Well," She asked, "What about our bet?"
I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "but
I'm the same that I have
always been, only $100,000 richer!"
The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that before she hand over the $100,000, she
be able to see and feel for
herself. The bank president thought this was a reasonable request
considering the amount of money involved and dropped his trousers.

She instructed him
to bend over and then she grabbed hold of him. Sure enough, everything was fine...

His balls were not square. She handed him $100,000 in cash...

A moment later, the bank president then looked up and saw her lawyer,
standing across the room
banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong
with him he inquired.

Oh, him," she answered. "I bet him $500,000 that by 10 am this
morning I'd have the president of Upton National Bank
by the balls.

May 15, 2013

Beware of a new scam going around.. .. call from First American Bank.

Two links to get more info...one from Consumer Advice Group...and the second is from a real bank whose name is being used and has nothing to do with this.....the call that I got five minutes ago, said that my debit card has been suspended, and if I wanted to get it back I was to press one...you see.........I don't have a debit card.......

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1112

this link proves it is a scam.....

http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20101007/news/710089806/


from the link:
The scheme, referred to as vishing, has a scammer pretending to be a bank official and calling people to see if they'll reveal their financial information and security numbers. Hofer (a bank officer warned consumers not to provide personal or financial information over the phone to such callers, and to immediately report the incident to their banks.

May 15, 2013

Beware of this scam...got a phone call..one minute ago.........First American Bank..beware..

whatever that is...informed me that my debit card has been suspended. That in order for me to get mine reinstated, press one..

well...that is interesting, because I don't have, and have never had, a debit card..nope

spread the word...to anyone who looks at this..
There really is a First American Bank,,,,they did not call..it is a scam..........here is proof..


http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20101007/news/710089806/

from the link:
The scheme, referred to as vishing, has a scammer pretending to be a bank official and calling people to see if they'll reveal their financial information and security numbers.

May 15, 2013

Joke: What a wise teacher does in the first week of school..

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.......