Initech

Initech's Journal

November 29, 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-24: The Ungrateful Fool On The Hill Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-24: The Ungrateful Fool On The Hill Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Be sure to stop by your local Top 10 Dealer for our Winter Leverage Sales Event! Lease a new Top 10 for $3999 down and $399 a month payments for 36 months. We are back everybody! So… Avengers, right? I mean how fucking insane does this movie look?? In case you haven’t heard Marvel practically broke the internet last night when it dropped the trailer for Avengers: Infinity War. This movie has everything and as a huge fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I can’t wait to see how this plays out. You have Tony fighting Thanos. You have Hulk, the Winter Soldier, Captain America, and Black Widow teaming up with Black Panther. You have Spiderman kicking some ass. And then to top it off? Why not Thor with the Guardians of the Galaxy!!! This whole thing is absolutely insane. 10 years of movies coming together, and I’ve been a fan since the first Iron Man was out back in 2008. I like that Kevin Smith said “You know I cry at everything but I’m bawling at this!”. I mean I love the Avengers movies, and recently we had Thor: Ragnarok which was absolutely amazing. We also had Spiderman: Homecoming which was great, and Guardians Of The Galaxy 2, which was also great. But those are just building blocks to the first part of the grand finale of this whole universe. Seriously I could go on all day talking about the Avengers movies, and the whole Marvel universe in general. But we got a lot of idiocy to get to. You know what? Fuck it, I’m stalling enough. I mean normally this is where we’d play a clip from a talk show, but since all the good talk shows are on vacation, let’s just show the trailer for Infinity War and bask in its’ glory:

Ladies and gentlemen, after a long absence, Dotard Trump comes back to the number one spot! Bravo, take a bow! So in the first slot is Dotard Trump (1). So this week the White House Christmas decorations are unveiled. But he wasted no time embarrassing the country in front of a group of Native Americans. In the second slot is Dotard Trump (2). Because he continues to pick a fight with passionate UCLA sports father LaVar Ball, and the dude can’t keep his mouth shut. In the second slot is Mr. Ball, and it’s insane (2). In the third slot is our old friend Project Veritas (3) who got owned at their own game, trying to catfish the Washington Post! Ha ha! At number 4, we’re going to explore a new news outlet that is a favorite of the Dotard called “MAGA Pill”. If only Trump fans knew what the Matrix actually means! At number 5 is our weekly due diligence on all things holy, which of course is “Holy Shit”. This time my inner pastor is going to take a look at a little known provision in the Trump tax plan, and well, frankly, this could send the country into a tail spin. At number 6 is Roy Moore (6). His allegations aren’t going away, and he’s picked up some surprising (NOT) endorsements! At number 7, we’ve got a new installment of “This Fucking Guy”. And we’re going to take a look at crazy far right conspiracy theorist lunatic and certified rape enthusiast Mike Cernovich (7). In the number 8 slot is Gun Nut Apologists (8). Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the Top 10 – is that this country loves it some guns, doesn’t it? Especially on Black Friday which we should start calling Red Friday. In the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and we’re going to talk about Flat Earthers. Yes, I do love the flat earthers because they’re a special kind of crazy. We talked about this in the monologue last week but we need to go into it in some more detail this week. Finally this week its’ more of the Top 10 World Tour (10). This time we’re going to the land of wealth and excess in the desert – full of tall buildings, excess wealth, and egregious human rights violations as we visit the Unite d Arab Emirates. Plus we’ve got some live music for you from one half of Oasis – Liam Gallagher! His new album “As You Were” is excellent, definitely check that one out! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So Trump was strangely quiet over the Thanksgiving weekend. I guess he spent too much time eating shitty food and golfing. But now that he’s back in the White House, he’s ready to get back to work embarrassing the country! And how did he embarrass the country this week? Well, in just 24 hours, he managed to put up the extremely tacky White House Christmas decorations. Can we show that picture?

Which by the way, I love this that I saw on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/935249557709041664

So are they decorating for Christmas, Halloween, or both? But that wasn’t the most embarrassing thing that happened this week. Leave it to Trump to embarrass the US in front of a group of actual Native Americans:

President Trump on Monday referred to Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) as “Pocahontas” at an event honoring Native American Code Talkers who served in World War II.

"You were here long before any of us were here,” Trump said, standing beneath a portrait of former President Andrew Jackson. “Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas.”

Turning to the veterans, Trump said "but do you know what? I like you."

The president made the remark in the Oval Office standing beside three Navajos who helped the U.S. Marine Corps develop a secret code during WWII.
http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/361990-trump-calls-warren-pocahontas-at-event-honoring-native-american

You know this is like that old comic from Highlights Magazine – Goofus and Gallant. Gallant would not have done what Trump had done yesterday and respected their culture. Goofus, on the other hand…

The prominent placement of an Andrew Jackson portrait during an event meant to honor a group of Native Americans at the Oval Office on Monday has raised questions about the White House’s message.

Jackson is known for his harsh treatment of Native Americans as president, famously signing the Indian Removal Act, which led to thousands of Native American deaths as tens of thousands were forced to relocate. Some observers thought the juxtaposition of his portrait during the event with the stated purpose of honoring three Navajo code talkers was strange.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/retropolis/wp/2017/11/28/andrew-jackson-was-called-indian-killer-trump-honored-navajos-in-front-of-his-portrait/?utm_term=.1d3905489aed

And you know we don’t know what to expect either, but the consistent thing here is that Trump is constantly embarrassing himself. And you know what’s equally embarrassing? The defense coming from the republican party. Yes this is an insult. No, it’s not the same as Disney releasing a historically accurate movie!

Mike Huckabee is more than just the former Governor of Arkansas. He is also the father of White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, a Fox News contributor, and a full-throated defender of President Donald Trump, regardless of what may come out of his mouth.

During an appearance on Fox & Friends this morning, he was asked to comment on the current dust-up surrounding Trump’s “Pocahontas” dig at Senator Elizabeth Warren during a White House ceremony honoring Native American Code Talkers who were heroes of World War II, which many saw as an unnecessary, inappropriate, and even racist dig at one of his political rivals.

Warren has claimed Native American ancestry which her detractors believe she used to gain advantageous status as a minority, particularly during her time at Harvard. There is a lot that is unsettled in this story: does Warren actually have indigenous people lineage? Is Trump racist for mocking her as “Pocahontas”? In other words, it is perfect fodder for opinion-based cable news programming as there is plenty of outrage to go around.
https://www.mediaite.com/tv/mike-huckabee-is-disney-racist-for-making-a-billion-dollars-from-pocahontas-franchise/

Add a few more “nos” to that. Because Mike Huckabee, you know him as Twitter’s least funny comedian, wasn’t the only one who made this bullshit comparison. I give you Qusay Trump:

Eric Trump on Tuesday appeared to compare President Trump's comments calling Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) "Pocahontas" to Disney profiting off of a movie of the same name.

"The irony of an ABC reporter (whose parent company Disney has profited nearly half a billion dollars on the movie 'Pocahontas') inferring that the name is 'offensive' is truly staggering to me," Eric Trump tweeted Tuesday.

His comments come after Trump called Warren "Pocahontas" during an event honoring Native American code talkers.

During the event honoring three Navajos who helped the U.S. Marine Corps develop a secret code during WWII, Trump said: "You were here long before any of us were here."

"Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas," he said.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/eric-trump-compares-%e2%80%98pocahontas%e2%80%99-insult-to-disney-profiting-off-%e2%80%98pocahontas%e2%80%99-movie/ar-BBFSpw2?li=BBnbcA1

I think this edition is going to be very Arrested Development happy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Well there is something wrong with the way republicans continue to defend this racist bullshit:

Fox New host Laura Ingraham rushed to President Donald Trump’s defense after he called Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) “Pocahontas,” by treating her radio listeners to a “war whoop” and creating an offensive stereotypical Native American name for the Massachusetts Democrat.

Monday afternoon, Trump made the comment during a ceremony honoring Navajo “Code Talkers” who served during World War II which outraged many, including the family’s of the honored men.

That didn’t stop Ingraham, who along with Fox host Sean Hannity is one of Trump’s biggest and most unapologetic boosters, from doubling down for the president by introducing her segment with the war whoop and a sarcastic diatribe, caught by Media Matters.
https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/laura-ingraham-plays-racist-war-whoops-to-defend-trumps-pocahontas-slur-and-insult-navajo-code-talkers/

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let me ask you this my fair Top 10 fans! What happens when you get two completely unhinged, egomaniacal, self praising lunatics in the same room? Well when you get Donald J. Trump and wannabe billionaire LaVar Ball in the same room, expect their egos to create the biggest implosion known to man! See, LaVar Ball is a guy who is famous for fathering 3 insanely talented basketball playing sons, but more importantly, he is known for trash talking. But then again, so is our president! What happened exactly?

President Trump can't stop thinking about LaVar Ball.

One is a garrulous, self-promoting businessman who launched a company named after himself and often engages in public feuds.

The other is a garrulous, self-promoting businessman who launched a company named after himself and often engages in public feuds.

Together, they seem locked in a war of words that may never end.

More than 24 hours after Ball downplayed the president's role in freeing his son, UCLA basketball player LiAngelo Ball, after a shoplifting incident in China this month, Trump lashed out on Twitter to declare Ball an "ungrateful fool."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/11/22/onpolitics-today-ungrateful-fool-trump-blasts-lavar-ball-over-lack-thanksgiving/890833001/

Yeah so if LaVar Ball is the “ungrateful fool”, would that make Trump the “Ungrateful Fool On The Hill?” Thank you! Come on Beatles fans, sing it with me! “The ungrateful fool on the hill… sees the sun going down, OK?”. But you ever wonder why Trump is so obsessed with LaVar Ball? Well here’s some insight.

Have you ever done a good deed for someone? Can you think of something particularly generous you did to help someone who really needed it? I’m not just asking rhetorically: Put that deed in your mind.

Now imagine, after doing that good deed, you go on Twitter and say how grateful the person you helped should be — and even ask publicly if they are going to thank you for it.

That’s gross, right?

Now imagine being the president of the United States and being so starved for attention — so deeply needy for adulation and praise, so hooked on being in the spotlight — that after you did a rather simple good deed, you got on Twitter and made clear how good your deed was, and how much you wanted that person to be grateful for your good deed.
https://theintercept.com/2017/11/23/donald-trump-lavar-ball-ucla-china/

But we’re not wrong here, Donald! So Trump says he should have left LaVar Ball’s son and his friends in a Chinese prison! Because you know, that’s the compassionate conservative side of Trump talking. But let’s think about this here, and I would love to see these two in a steel cage death match, WWE style:

At the start of this year, if you would have told me I’d be interviewing a China scholar about a deal in which President of the United States asks his Chinese counterpart, Xi Jinping, for help to free three UCLA basketball players who’ve been held in a Chinese hotel for allegedly stealing sunglasses, I would have scoffed. If you said that one of those UCLA players was LiAngelo Ball, son of LaVar Ball — proprietor of $495 shoes, controversial and outspoken father of Los Angeles Lakers rookie Lonzo Ball — I would have laughed even harder.

Bet the under on that one, since I had to call up UCLA’s Shirley Wang Endowed Chair in US-China Relations & Communications, Min Zhou, to talk about LaVar Ball.
http://time.com/5023904/donald-trump-lavar-ball-china/

But have no fear! Mr. Ball is going to make things all better! You know how? Shoes! That’s right – Mr. Ball thinks that a pair of shoes is going to make it all better! Because everybody loves a new pair of some nice shoes, don’t they? And I hate to sound sexist, but I think the ladies in the crowd would agree with me there, am I right?

The beef between President Donald Trump and LaVar Ball is the epitome of exactly what 2017 has been — but it isn’t over.

The first shipment of Lonzo Ball’s signature ZO2 shoes were reportedly shipped out by Big Baller Brand on Friday and LaVar Ball took his family out to celebrate. While out, Ball ran into a TMZ reporter and was asked to comment on the thought that he was “beating Trump at his own game.”

But according to Ball, that’s nonsense. Instead, he said, the president needs to calm down. To help him calm down, Ball said he’d personally ship Trump a pair of ZO2’s to wear.

“I gotta ship some to Trump so he can calm down a little bit. Get him some ZO2s so he play on the court. Not in the court, but on the court,” Ball said.
https://www.sbnation.com/2017/11/25/16699774/lavar-ball-lonzo-ball-donald-trump-zo2-signature-shoe

You know Mr. Ball, something tells me that Mr. Trump isn’t exactly what one would call the basketball playing type. I mean just look at him! The dude can barely climb up a hill looking for a golf ball!

But you know – you get two turkeys in a room, what do you expect? I mean how can you actively eat a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving when you have two giant turkeys in the room?

Civility, grace and gratitude are deader than Charles Manson. God has become a four-letter word. But we are blessed with plenty of turkeys.

LaVar “Big Baller” Ball this week ran verbal trapezoids around a tongue-tied Chris Cuomo on CNN. Ball is a media creation (thanks, ESPN) whose obscene methods of self-promotion have succeeded beyond any imaginable goal.

Ball steadfastly refused to acknowledge or credit President Trump for his role in getting LiAngelo Ball and two other UCLA basketball players released from China after they were arrested for shoplifting.

“Tell Donald Trump to have a great Thanksgiving, because Big Baller is,” Ball said.
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/bill_speros/2017/11/speros_donald_trump_lavar_ball_act_like_turkeys

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[font size="8"]Project Veritas
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Conservatives, let this be a lesson. Here’s what happens when you get owned attempting to troll – just retreat to your troll cave with your tail tucked between your legs. So let me explain – conservative activist and before picture in a Viagra commercial, James O’Keefe, attempted to troll the Washington Post, much like he attempted to troll CNN a few months ago (see: Idiots #3-4. And well, this time the Washington Post caught him red handed.

The Washington Post says that they caught a “Project Veritas” undercover video sting operation that was meant to discredit their reports on Roy Moore by feeding them a false story about the GOP candidate for Alabama’s U.S. Senate seat.

The Post reports that a woman came to their offices and said that Roy Moore impregnated her when she was a teenager.

“In a series of interviews over two weeks, the woman shared a dramatic story about an alleged sexual relationship with Moore in 1992 that led to an abortion when she was 15,” they reported. “During the interviews, she repeatedly pressed Post reporters to give their opinions on the effects that her claims could have on Moore’s candidacy if she went public.”

They confronted her about inconsistencies in her story, and did not publish the story that would have almost certainly damaged Roy Moore. When they saw that she was entering the New York offices of “Project Veritas,” they concluded that she was a part of a sting operation in a “scheme to deceive and embarrass” the news outlet.
http://www.theblaze.com/news/2017/11/27/washington-post-catches-project-veritas-undercover-sting-meant-to-discredit-roy-moore-reporting

Yeah so Project Veritas was attempting to catfish the Washington Post and failed miserably! What was that line from Homer Simpson? “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably! The lesson here is never try!”. So how bad was the failed sting operation?

A woman falsely accusing Alabama Republican U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore of impregnating her at 15 years old approached The Washington Post with her story in what appeared to be a sting effort to deceive the news organization.

The woman, Jaime T. Phillips, appears to work with Project Veritas, an organization that attempts to secretly record deceptive conversations with journalists in an effort to discredit mainstream news outlets and expose what they claim to be media bias.

The Post interviewed her over the course of two weeks, identifying falsehoods and inconsistencies in her story along the way. In her unsubstantiated story, she claimed to have a sexual relationship with Moore as a 15-year-old, which she claimed led to an abortion.

In the interviews, Phillips would ask reporters for their opinions on how her false story, if made public, could affect the Moore campaign.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fake-roy-moore-accuser-washington-post-sting-operation/

I really don’t think that one needs a “congratulations” but… yeah you failed. So the failure of Project Veritas proves just how batshit crazy conservatives are and they are willing to stop at nothing to get Roy Moore elected, because, reasons. But this isn’t the first time Project Veritas embarrassed themselves, this is just the first time they got caught!

One Bit of Good News About the News: Some amazing Washington Post reporters caught a goon from Project Veritas trying to trick them into publishing a false story about a woman who claimed to have a sexual relationship with Roy Moore as a teen, and the pure schadenfreude of watching her squirm on camera as reporter Stephanie McCrummen grills the liar is worth however much money you have in your wallet right now. All the little details about the way they caught the woman are incredible, as is the feeling of gratitude that surfaces when you realize that there is a phalanx of journalists dedicated to telling the truth, even as they're undermined by the powers that be and literal fake news generators like Project Veritas. Do not relegate this one to the tabs graveyard, and please subscribe.
http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/11/27/25589168/it-has-been-a-weird-day-for-journalism

Now to be fair, if you want to see a hit piece that actually does deserve to get a lot of shit, look no further than the New York Times and their extremely horrible “Nazi Next Door” piece. Look, we don’t need to normalize Nazis! And we certainly don’t need to discredit Roy Moore’s accusers! Both things are equally horrible, like that pile of your neighbor’s dog shit on the street that they’ve been refusing to clean up the last two months!

The New York Times published a profile over the weekend of an Ohio man named Tony Hovater, a co-founder of the white supremacist Traditionalist Worker Party. The piece, by reporter Richard Fausset, was meant to say something profound about the banality of evil—This man shops for groceries! He has a Twin Peaks tattoo! He has both a wife and cats!—but it came across instead as an exercise in making evil sound banal.

In one of two follow-up pieces the Times ran to try to explain the story, the paper’s national editor, Marc Lacey, wrote, “We recognize that people can disagree on how best to tell a disagreeable story. What we think is indisputable, though, is the need to shed more light, not less, on the most extreme corners of American life and the people who inhabit them.”

Yet Fausset spent so much time staring at Hovater eating a turkey sandwich, he didn’t get around to shining much light on the particular corner his subject occupies. The Times managed to miss or gloss over a whole batch of facts and questions that might have lent both context and color to what purported to be a definitive profile of a white nationalist “foot soldier.” Here are a few of them:
https://splinternews.com/here-are-some-facts-and-questions-about-that-nazi-the-n-1820773785

By the way, the usual Alt Right suspects rushed to defend professional asshole James O’Keefe, and you know you can always tell a lot about a person by the company they keep:

After reporters at The Washington Post unmasked yet another botched undercover sting operation headed by James O’Keefe’s organization Project Veritas, right-wing pundits put their eagerness to undermine mainstream media outlets above all else and took to providing cover for O’Keefe and his organization.

Yesterday, the Washington Post revealed that a Project Veritas operative had attempted to dupe reporters with a false story claiming that Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore impregnated her as a teenager. After reporters found inconsistencies in the operative’s stories and spotted her entering the Project Veritas headquarters, they connected the false account to O’Keefe. O’Keefe’s prior faceplants include being exposed attempting to lure a CNN reporter onto a boat full of dildos to then record the reporter and humiliate her, sabotaging his own attempt to dupe the Open Society Foundations and failing to entrap Hillary Clinton supporters into doing anything more scandalous than selling campaign merch to a Canadian.

But that didn’t stop the most ardent anti-mainstream media pundits from defending O’Keefe’s operation.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/far-right-pundits-defend-project-veritas-after-botched-smear-campaign-exposed/

[font size="8"]MAGA Pill
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When you have an ultra fanatical, ego maniacal, self praising, batshit crazy lunatic like Trump in the White House, you’re going to get some resistance to what you do. But then for the self praising Trump, who has repeatedly called himself “Your Favorite President”, he tends to favor news sources that well, kiss his ass 100%, no less. Can we throw that tweet up there?

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/934563828834164739

And then there was this:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/935147410472480769

Think of it this way – this is like when a dog marks its’ territory in your house. When it happens, it’s totally natural instinct. When it happens, it’s a pain in the ass to clean up. And when it happens, you will most likely wind up stepping in shit. But Trump is just spreading his awareness of fake news, but that’s Russia’s job, damn it!!! So let’s talk about Trump’s new preferred source of news: MAGA Pill.

President Donald Trump tweeted his thanks last night to a website that listed all of his accomplishments – “Fired corrupt and incompetent FBI Director James Comey,” made the list. “Wow, even I didn’t realize we did so much,” wrote Trump. “Wish the Fake News would report! Thank you.”

The site he thanked is Maga Pill – the name, with ties to white nationalism, combines Trump’s Make America Great Again catchphrase with a Matrix reference – and if “Fake News” sites followed its lead, they’d be posting content on their Twitter pages that link Kevin Spacey with Pizzagate and claim that a Hillary Clinton porn tape found on Anthony Weiner’s laptop was so horrific it made grown men on the NYPD cry.

Trump’s tweet-thanks to Maga Pill came three days into the president’s Thanksgiving holiday weekend in Florida, a getaway stuffed with golf and media rumination. On Friday, he tweeted his you-can’t-fire-me-I-quit missive about Time magazine’s Person of the Year non-offer, and on Saturday re-stated his not-secret preference for Fox News over CNN.
http://deadline.com/2017/11/donald-trump-cnn-maga-pill-time-magazine-fox-news-1202214584/

So it’s no secret that Trump prefers to watch Fox News 24 hours a day. Now if only Trump fans understood what the Matrix actually meant!

The name MagaPill is a riff on “red pill,” a term popular with white nationalists and others on the far right. A metaphor based on a plot line from The Matrix, it refers to the process of normalizing extreme views. MagaPill is also active on Gab, a social network favored by white nationalist and banned from the Google app store violating its hate speech policy.

But while Trump presents MagaPill as the antidote to “fake news,” the site regularly traffics in unhinged conspiracy theories. Just a few hours before being endorsed by Trump, MagaPill posted a video from Liz Crokin, a fringe figure best known for pushing the Pizzagate conspiracy. In the video, Crokin claims there is a sex tape of Hillary Clinton with an underage girl on Anthony Weiner’s laptop.
https://thinkprogress.org/what-is-magapill-1fb18b6f2ed0/

By the way in case you’re keeping score at home, Trump has attacked CNN so many times it’s absolutely insane, and now touts a lunatic fringe conspiracy theory website. But we all know that Fox & Friends has an audience of one now, and let’s face it – they’re just fucking with Trump at this point.

President Trump could have plausibly claimed that his first tweet of the day was an original thought.

Sure, it mirrored an argument presented exactly 14 minutes earlier on “Fox & Friends,” a program the president is known to watch regularly, but who could prove that wasn't a coincidence? Great minds think alike, right?

In two subsequent tweets, however, Trump made clear that he was parroting the talking points he saw on TV, when he mentioned @foxandfriends and quoted one of the show's guests directly.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/11/01/trump-is-getting-his-counterterrorism-talking-points-from-fox-friends/?utm_term=.177ab5e0616c

Oh come on Trump, this is like the movie Kingsman where they just start fucking with their prospective candidates. Fox hated that there was a president who didn’t listen to them for 8 years. Now we have one who *ONLY* listens to them! Who needs fake news when you have a fake news network playing you like a fiddle?

President Donald Trump once again tweeted along to Fox News' morning show, Fox & Friends, this time complaining about an NFL player they criticized and quoting their cyron during a segment about the economy.

Trump tweeted about NFL player Marshawn Lynch sitting during the U.S. national anthem about 15 minutes after Fox & Friends ran a segment on Lynch’s decision to sit during the anthem. At 6:07 a.m., Fox & Friends discussed Lynch’s decision to sit during the U.S. national anthem and stand during the Mexican national anthem at a November 19 game played in Mexico City. Co-host Brian Kilmeade called Lynch’s decision “an international embarrassment,” urged the NFL players’ union to “crack down” on those who refuse to stand during the national anthem, and claimed that, because of NFL player protests, NFL “attendance is down. Ratings are down.”
https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2017/11/20/echoing-fox-friends-trump-blasts-nfl-player-sitting-during-national-anthem/218606

Yeah so Fox & Friends plays Trump like a fiddle. They know that if they feed him a bullshit story, he’ll tweet it to his hundreds of thousands of Russian bot account followers. And there might be a few actual twitter posters that follow him as well. We do! Oh come on, how else am I going to keep up with his bullshit? But in case you’re wondering the kind of quality journalism that MAGA Pill reports on, here’s some stories they’ve recently covered!

The word MAGAPill appears to be a portmanteau combining the Trump campaign slogan beloved by white nationalists with the symbol of an internet forum for men who believe they are sexually oppressed by feminists, so that’s a promising start. And here, with a hat tip to Judd Legum of ThinkProgress, is a sampling of some of the subjects that MAGAPill has covered in past weeks:

Lady Gaga’s involvement in Hillary Clinton’s child-sacrifice practices
The Vatican’s knowledge of “ancient occult magic”
The encroachment of sharia law
The government’s coverup of evidence that the recent massacre in Las Vegas was actually carried out by multiple shooters
The Jews (click here to see a MAGAPill tweet which deploys the anti-Semitic triple parentheses dog whistle that's often deployed by far-right writers)
http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/11/27/trump_endorses_magapill_conspiracy_site.html

By the way, why do the conservative conspiracy theorists hate Lady Gaga? We might have to do a deep dive on this subject. I’ll end this with some Lady Gaga, because why not?

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

Yes friends! Gather around, friends! Pass the collection plate, friends! Yay, in this darkest of times, we turn to the holiest among us. But even then we are reminded that the holiest among us are full of, well…

How is my beautiful congregation this fine Wednesday? How are you all doing tonight? Because the Good Lord would want us to gather and sing the light in his holy presence! Can I get an amen? Thank you! Well, you know last week we spent our sermon touring the good holy lord Jesus Christs’ new temple in Washington, DC. Well, now we have something to tell you that Jesus himself will not approve of!

WASHINGTON — For years, a coalition of well-funded groups on the religious right have waged an uphill battle to repeal a 1954 law that bans churches and other nonprofit groups from engaging in political activity.

Now, those groups are edging toward a once-improbable victory as Republican lawmakers, with the enthusiastic backing of President Trump, prepare to rewrite large swaths of the United States tax code as part of the $1.5 trillion tax package moving through Congress.

Among the changes in the tax bill that passed the House this month is a provision to roll back the 1954 ban, a move that is championed by the religious right, but opposed by thousands of religious and nonprofit leaders, who warn that it could blur the line between charity and politics.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/26/us/politics/johnson-amendment-churches-taxes-politics.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You know, I am just a man of the cloth and I know my Bible. And I can’t recall a single verse in it where Jesus would approve of this sort of thing. Because greed is a SIN!!!!! And SINS MUST BE CLEANSED!!!!! In the name of all that is good and holy for our lord Jesus Christ! Can I get an amen??? Let us sing his holy name in praise now!!! Thank you to the Official Top 10 Gospel Choir! But even our Jewish friends hate this because the referendum seems to only attract one particular type of worshipper!

The Republican tax bill that recently passed the House of Representatives contains an obscure provision that many right-wing Christian activists have been advocating for — a repeal of the Johnson Amendment, a 1954 law that prohibits churches and synagogues from engaging in political activity.

Currently, pastors who endorse candidates from the pulpit could risk having their house of worship lose its tax-exempt status with the Internal Revenue Service.

The House version of Trump’s tax reform legislation does away with this limitation and would permit tax-exempt religious institutions to both endorse candidates and urge congregants to vote for them.

Read more: https://forward.com/fast-forward/388375/will-trump-tax-cuts-allow-rabbis-to-preach-politics-from-the-pulpit/

Even the lord our god, creator of all that is good and holy, cannot take much more of this madness! I mean… do you even know what this is going to do? No, because the GOP does not read or thinketh with thine brains.

For evangelical groups in particular, the provision is a huge victory. The language written by chairman Kevin Brady, R-Texas, "puts an end to the IRS’s role of policing the speech of churches, and non-profit organizations," said Tony Perkins, president of the conservative Family Research Council. "The IRS has no constitutional basis to monitor and then censor speech that doesn’t meet with the approval of government bureaucrats."

Some political donors might then shift their contributions from political organizations that are not tax-exempt to churches or other charities that are tax-exempt to save themselves a little extra money, said Thomas Barthold, chief of staff for the congressional Joint Committee on Taxation.

But saving donors a little extra money would cost the U.S. treasury about $2.1 billion over 10 years, the joint committee predicted. The modified language cut the estimated cost to about $900 million by making the provision effective for only five years, but it is not clear that estimate accounts for the vast expansion of the universe of charities that could ramp up political activity.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/10/tax-bills-repeal-johnson-amendment-could-cost-taxpayers-more-than-1-billion/852554001/

Yes because the Lord Our God is angry, and when he is angry, he is really angry!!! But this isn’t just GOP arrogance on full display, and arrogance is a sin punishable by Satan in the most unholy of ways. And they must be cleansed of this sin!!!! And yes it does specify churches, which means things could get very, very ugly!!!

Somewhat buried in the deluge of Thursday’s 429-page tax proposal from the House of Representatives was Sect. 5201, permitting churches to make political statements during the ordinary course of religious services. The section, the second to last of the bill, runs counter to the Johnson Amendment, which has prohibited partisan political activity among all 501(c)(3)s since 1954.

The section’s wording has been met with confusion and opposition from some nonprofit leaders and civil rights groups. The term “church” is used twice in the provision with no mention of other houses of worship. A Capitol Hill staffer speaking to The NonProfit Times on background declined to speculate as to whether the language in the section might be changed in subsequent drafts.

The section specifically states that churches, integrated auxiliaries, and organizations described in 508(c)(1)(A) — which also refers to churches, integrated auxiliaries, and conventions or associations of churches –“shall not fail to be treated as organized and operated exclusively for a religious purpose, nor shall it be deemed to have participated in, or intervened in any political campaign on behalf of any candidate for public office, solely because of the content of any homily, sermon, teaching, dialectic, or other presentation made during a religious service or gatherings . . .”
http://www.thenonprofittimes.com/news-articles/johnson-amendment-repeal-attempt-cites-churches/

Can we pass the collection plate please????????????? Because if I declare the Top 10 a church, I can then raise enough money to buy some candidates! Or maybe not. We do have a budget of zero. Yes the GOP wants to do away with all non profit groups, and that could potentially be disastrous!

There's no doubt that the main purpose of the Republican tax bill, in both its House and Senate forms, is to slash taxes for corporations and the rich while making the rest of the country pay for it. But Republicans are also stuffing a wish list of right-wing goals into the bill. One provision of the House legislation that has gotten relatively little media attention has the potential to drastically remake our campaign finance system, and tilt the already unfair playing field even further toward the Republicans.

Ever since 1954, a legislative add-on known as the Johnson Amendment has prevented charities, social welfare organizations and, perhaps most importantly, churches from endorsing candidates. Such institutions may lose their tax-exempt status if they engage in electioneering. The House bill would functionally dismantle the Johnson Amendment, thereby opening the door to pastors endorsing candidates from the pulpits and for charities large and small -- even the Red Cross or Salvation Army -- to openly support political candidates or causes in the course of their official charitable work.
https://www.salon.com/2017/11/23/hidden-in-gop-tax-bill-a-plan-to-turn-churches-into-dark-money-spigots/

Oh shit!!!! I just realized that if I declare the Top 10 a religious organization, that I too shall be held to the same standard as churches are! Does that mean that I don’t have to pay taxes? Sweet! Can I get an amen???? We cannot let them get away with this!! Even our president does not know what he speaketh!

Religious leaders and clergy across the nation — including those in Omaha — are carefully watching what happens to one part of tax legislation that’s making its way through the U.S. House and Senate.

The House version of the bill includes a change to the Johnson Amendment, the 1954 law that prohibits tax-exempt nonprofits such as churches from endorsing political candidates. A stipulation at the end of the 429-page bill would make it legal for ministers to endorse candidates from the pulpit.

The House passed its tax bill on Nov. 16, and a Senate version is still pending.

At the National Prayer Breakfast in February, President Donald Trump said he would “totally destroy” the Johnson Amendment. That vow was aimed at people — mostly conservative Christians — who oppose the 1954 law partly because they believe that it violates First Amendment rights. Trump issued an executive order in May directing the Internal Revenue Service not to penalize clergy members for political speech.
http://www.omaha.com/living/if-passed-tax-reform-could-let-churches-endorse-political-candidates/article_11bf22f5-447a-5d82-9bf2-7df3631887b0.html

Yay, I hope it did not get too intense for you there! Because what Trump and his merry band are proposing is dangerous, and I hope you leave this sermon with this information in tact! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That is it this week for:

[font size="8"]Roy Moore
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If there’s one thing we love here at the Top 10 Home Office, it’s a good train wreck. Which so far is the entire calendar year 2017. But in that calendar year 2017 – there’s the Alabama Senate elections, which is between Roy Moore and Doug Jones. This election is a train wreck within a train wreck. And come on, Alabama! You’ve heard the arguments! Now go and get out the vote against Moore! But would you be surprised in the least to learn that Judge Moore has picked up some surprising endorsements? Well…

Matthew Hale, the imprisoned white supremacist convicted of plotting to kill a Chicago federal judge, endorsed Republican Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore on Monday.

“There is no evidence Roy Moore committed sexual harassment against any of the woman (sic) that have made these accusations or that Roy Moore is a sexual predator,” a news release with the headline “Political Prisoner Matt Hale endorses Moore” states.

The news release, issued by Hale’s mother, compares Matthew Hale’s legal woes — insisting that he’s innocent — to the sexual harassment accusations against Moore.

“Anybody can accuse anyone of anything but that doesn’t make it true,” Hale, who is serving a 40-year sentence at a supermax federal prison in Florence, Colo., is quoted as saying. “I know from my own experience.”
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-met-matthew-hale-roy-moore-chicago-inc-20171127-story.html

That’s right – Roy Moore just scored an endorsement from a guy who was convicted of attempted murder of a federal judge! Yeah, you know what they say about always telling a guy by the company they keep! But now there’s a challenger in the mix!

When retired Marine Col. Lee Busby read it was too late for a write-in candidate for the Alabama senate race, he said, “Hold my beer, we will just see about that.”

Busby told The Daily Beast on Monday he is launching his long-shot bid to stop Republican nominee Roy Moore from reaching the Senate.

“I have no idea if the allegations against him true or not, but I don’t see anything within his experience as a judge that qualifies him for the job.”

Busby said his state needs a choice other than Moore or Democrat Doug Jones.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/marine-col-lee-busby-announces-hes-running-against-roy-moore

I fucking love this. Roy Moore is so polarizing that he’s receiving challengers within his own party – just days before the election! If that doesn’t hand the election over to Doug Jones, what will? Maybe Ringo Starr?

A Breitbart editor attempted to defend the sexual misconduct allegations against Alabama Republican Roy Moore by referencing a Ringo Starr song.

"You know, in 1973, Ringo Starr hit No. 1 on the billboard charts with the song ‘You’re Sixteen, You’re Beautiful and You’re Mine,'" Breitbart's Joel Pollak said on CNN. "And it was a remake of an earlier song. He was 30-something at the time, singing about a 16-year-old. You want to take away Ringo Starr’s achievement?"

CNN's Chris Cuomo looked incredulous at Pollak's remark.

"You can't be serious," he told Pollak. "You think that Ringo Starr’s song is supposed to be a nod towards allowing 30-year-old men to prey on teenagers? You don’t believe that, Joel. You’re a parent. You don’t believe that."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/11/27/breitbart-editor-references-ringo-starr-song-defense-senate-candidate-roy-moore/898781001/

Really? That’s the best you got? An extremely creepy Ringo Starr song from the 60s? Calling this election a train wreck at this point, is an insult to train wrecks. But this is 2017 here! If this weren’t a train wreck, I would be very disappointed! I mean what’s Trump’s opinion on this shit?

President Donald Trump won't be hitting the campaign trail for Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore in Alabama after all, the White House said Monday.

"The president is not planning any trip to Alabama at this time. Frankly, his schedule doesn't permit him doing anything between now and Election Day," White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters, referring to the Dec. 12 election.

Trump, who denied accusations of sexual assault or misconduct by more than a dozen women when he was a candidate, hinted last week that he might hit the trail for Moore, who has been accused of sexual misconduct by numerous women. Trump told reporters he’d let them know this week if he was going to hit the campaign trail.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/trump-won-t-campaign-roy-moore-white-house-says-n824316

Yeah Sarah, that’s because we all know how well Trump’s campaign for Luther Strange went. But that’s all well and good, you might ask, but what about the women? How do the women of Alabama react to this madness? Well… sadly some of them still support him.

HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Andrea McCafferty pulled into the parking lot of Sugar Belle, curious why the coffee shop would be so crowded on a Tuesday. The big draw was Louise Jones, whose husband, Doug Jones, is the Democratic Senate nominee. After grabbing some tea, McCafferty took a seat near the front of the room and gave Jones some advice.

“Make sure the Republicans understand that they can vote in this election if they don’t like Roy Moore,” she told Louise Jones. “There are a lot of people who want to vote for Jones, but don’t want to cross the party.”

In the closing days of Alabama’s unexpectedly close race ahead of a special election, a battle is emerging for voters like McCafferty: white suburban women who typically support GOP candidates but who, unlike many of their male counterparts, have become uneasy about Moore.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/allegations-against-roy-moore-create-awkward-choice-for-suburban-women-in-alabama/2017/11/26/dd0775f2-d14d-11e7-81bc-c55a220c8cbe_story.html?utm_term=.3c2353418568

[font size="8"]Mike Cernovich
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It’s time once again for:

This week’s “This Fucking Guy” is Mike Cernovich. You may not know the name. He’s a frequent contributor to Infowars. He’s the guy who brought you Pizzagate. He’s also that guy at any political rally who scares children. But he probably more scares women. This week, Mikey was on Infowars where he made an astonishingly stupid claim about Roy Moore, but guess what? He clearly said what people who are part of the ultra far right cult are thinking!

Mike Cernovich, a right-wing pundit infamous for his role in elevating the “Pizzagate” conspiracy theories, claimed that General Michael Flynn has been subjected to investigation by the “deep state” and criticism by media elites because he had investigated pedophilia.

While discussing recent floods of sex abuse allegations against powerful men with Infowars host Alex Jones today, Cernovich explained that media figures who once praised alleged sex abusers such as Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein were complicit in a “conspiracy of silence.”

Cernovich then made a hard pivot to claim that Flynn’s investigation into pedophiles is what made him the target of a “deep state” investigation, rather than his suspected involvement in a Russian influence operation during the 2016 election that may end in his indictment.

“That’s why they all hate Trump and that’s why they hate General Flynn, because they were investigating the pedophiles and the pedophilia,” Cernovich said. “That’s the real big story nobody wants to talk about.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mike-cernovich-claims-michael-flynn-was-targeted-by-deep-state-for-investigating-pedophilia/

There’s so many things wrong with this statement. I mean first off The Pedophiles And The Pedophilia sounds like the name of a day time soap opera doesn’t it? Excuse me a minute… But this isn’t the first time Cernovich has made such a batshit crazy claim. They really are obsessed aren’t they?

Mike Cernovich, an Infowars contributor and right-wing personality who has pushed the “Pizzagate” conspiracy that a child sex ring was operating underneath a Washington pizza restaurant, agreed with Infowars host Alex Jones yesterday that the “deep state” wants to censor their speech because they discuss conspiracy theories involving pedophilia.

On yesterday’s episode of “The Alex Jones Show,” Cernovich accused liberal Hollywood actors of spreading conspiracy theories involving Russian president Vladimir Putin because Putin is opposed to pedophilia.

Cernovich speculated, “What I think is actually going on here is Putin is actually very anti-pedophile and has done a lot of things to fight the –“

Jones interrupted, “Oh no, that’s what it is. There’s a global anti-pedophile network. Now if you’re not for the pedophiles, you’re against them and that’s what it is. And anybody for the deep state is now a pedophile.”

“Deep state is definitely part of the pedophile networks and they are pro-pedophile. There’s no question about it,” Cernovich said.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mike-cernovich-and-alex-jones-think-the-deep-state-is-after-them-because-they-discuss-pedophilia/

Let’s think about this here, Alex and Mike. There’s no one here on this world who’s pro pedophile. Really, even actual pedophiles like Jerry Sandusky are most likely regretting their actions in prison! Is there anyone on this earth pro pedophile? I mean except for maybe that one guy running for the Senate from Alabama. Thank you! But you know I think Mr. Cernovich might be the one who protests way too much.

Mike Cernovich, a self-described “New Right” pundit infamous for his role in the “Pizzagate” conspiracy hoax, claimed that what he perceives as attacks on him and Infowars host Alex Jones from mainstream media outlets are actually attacks on every nuclear family in America.

On Jones’ program last week, Cernovich and Jones discussed the Senate testimony of a lawyer representing Twitter, who said that the platform had attempted to suppress perceived interference in the 2016 election by suppressing tweets that promoted Wikileaks releases with the hashtags “#DNCLeak” and “#PodestaEmails.” The duo interpreted the statement as validation of their longstanding warnings that conspiratorial globalist forces are using digital platforms to censor and silence their worldview.

“This is not an attack on you and me,” Cernovich told Jones. “We’re just puppets to the globalist pedophile masterminds. You and I, they’re attacking us because we’re public figures. Ultimately, this is an attack on every nuclear family in America. They’re trying to destroy the nuclear family. They’re trying to enslave people.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mike-cernovich-attacks-on-me-are-attacks-on-every-nuclear-family-in-america/

Holy shit! I mean… dost thou protest too much there, Mikey? These guys are like the crazy ex of a pedophile trying to prove they did it. They’ve got the GPS trackers, they’ve got mine detectors, they’ve got tin foil hats… you know, the Douchebag Survival Kit. I mean you have an ACTUAL PEDOPHILE who might become the next SENATOR FROM ALABAMA!!! And what is your opinion on this?

What about an unrelated Democratic senator?

“If the 14 year old girl stuff about Roy Moore is true, zero of my people will have that. Issue is WaPo has fabricated stories, ignored Menendez underage sex accusations. Trust issue.” ― Right-wing media personality Mike Cernovich
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/roy-moore-men-excuses_us_5a0605e3e4b01d21c83e748a

Yeah seriously! What the fuck!!! So you’re giving Roy Moore a pass but still talking about Robert Menendez? I mean is this a pedophile sting operation, or dare I say it… a democratic… witch… hunt? I mean you do know he’s under investigation for bribery and not pedophilia, right? I mean it is the state of New Jersey we’re talking about here!

Newark, New Jersey (CNN)As jurors continue to deliberate in New Jersey Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez's bribery and corruption trial, CNN has assembled the highlights of the 10-week trial. Jurors heard from nearly 60 witnesses and were shown almost 300 pieces of evidence.
Jurors must determine under federal bribery law whether or not Menendez performed "official acts" by pressuring other officials to help Florida ophthalmologist Dr. Salomon Melgen. Both men deny all charges against them.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/08/politics/menendez-trial-highlights/index.html

These people are absolutely obsessed with pedophilia. I mean really it’s like playing a really fucked up game of Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon. Except there’s just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is a pedophile from the Deep State!! I mean look at what Cernovich’s buddies Paul Joseph Watson and Jack Posobiec did at a recent appearance at Columbia University. Talk about obsessed! :

Posobiec is a media personality known for his endorsement of conspiracy theories and orchestration of hoax news events. In the last year, Posobiec has sent trolls to a net neutrality rally with signs calling for the shutdown of conservative media outlets, and distributed fake flyers at another net neutrality event claiming that participants endorsed “Satanic porn.”

The New Right pile-on over the suppose NAMBLA banner is reminiscent of the movement’s formative days in the midst of the Pizzagate conspiracy theory, which alleged that Democrats were operating a child sex ring underneath a pizza parlor. New Right activists and conspiracy theorists are absolutely obsessed with pedophilia and have used false allegations of pedophilia to attack their opponents and dissenters before.

Infowars editor-in-chief Paul Joseph Watson even wrote that if the sign was “pro-Cernovich people and handed to Antifa demonstrators to make them look stupid” it wouldn’t matter because “protesters didn’t even bother to check what was written on the giant banner before marching behind it.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/something-reeks-about-mike-cernovichs-appearance-at-columbia-university/

Excuse me a minute… These people are trying to convince you they’re not pedophiles aren’t they? I mean that’s how deep their obsession goes! But guess what? The Alt Right and the “New Right” are fighting each other! And when that happens, get a giant bucket of popcorn ready!

Activists and media figures who call themselves “New Right” have been trying to disassociate themselves with the white supremacist alt-right ever since an alt-right protester murdered a liberal counter-protester in Charlottesville earlier this year. But these New Right figures—people like Mike Cernovich and Gateway Pundit’s Lucian Wintrich—have become increasingly reckless with the social media networks they’ve created, using their platforms to elevate without critique people who espouse the extremists views they claim to disavow.

In a video released today, Cernovich appeared on Milo Yiannopoulos’ podcast “The MILO Show” to discuss his acquisition of the “Shitty Men in Media” list that has been circulating among female journalists at major publishing outlets. Cernovich’s appearance, unsurprisingly, featured no mention of the recent Buzzfeed exposé that revealed direct ties between Yiannopoulos and explicit white nationalists, which led former White House strategist and current Breitbart leader Steve Bannon to declare Yiannopoulous to be “dead to me.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/the-new-right-attempt-to-distance-itself-from-alt-right-haters-isnt-going-so-well/

By the way if you want to know how Mike Cernovich feels about things like rape, here’s some light reading for you for some of his greatest hits:

Holy shit! So yeah… rape apparently when it doesn’t come to actual rapists. That’s Mike Cernovich, this week’s:

[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
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OK people… next week is the second anniversary of when I started the Top 10. Yeah I know, two years goes by quickly hasn’t it? And you know what? We haven’t learned a god damned thing. Because if you remember in Idiots #3, I reported how the FBI was reporting that on Black Friday of 2015, they had their highest record of background checks for new gun sales ever. Cut to two years later. Well…

For decades, the term “Black Friday” has conjured up distinct images: turkey-stuffed consumers awake at insanely early hours of the morning, bursting into big-box stores to fight over flat-screen TVs.

But in a muzzle flash, it seems, a new image may be replacing that stereotype. It involves a trigger and, possibly, a scope.

On Friday, the FBI received 203,086 requests for instant gun background checks, according to USA Today — nearly a 10 percent increase from the year before and a new record for background checks in a single day.

That’s not an anomaly. According to the FBI, the previous two records for background checks were also set on the day after the federal holiday in which Americans give thanks for the year’s blessings.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/11/26/guns-were-black-friday-must-haves-going-by-the-fbis-record-203086-background-check-requests/?tid=hybrid_experimentrandom_with_top_mostshared_3_na&utm_term=.88dff41d1388

Come on, gun nuts, you know it’s bad when Judge Judy does it! So come on Lexus, you want to sell more luxury cars during the December To Remember sales event? Just include the promise of a semi automatic rifle with it! I mean you’re already paying $55,000 or more for your new Lexus, you can modify your new GX460 to go full Mad Max! I love that graphic!

Shoppers hunting for Black Friday deals seemed to include a record number of those in the market for firearms; the FBI says it fielded 203,086 background check requests for gun purchases on the day after Thanksgiving — the highest daily total ever, reports USA Today.

"Background checks are considered the best available proxy for gun purchases since overall sales numbers are not made public," reports NPR's Uri Berliner.

But the number of firearms actually sold on Friday was probably higher than 203,086 because a buyer would require just one check but could purchase multiple firearms in a single transaction.

It is a popular time of year to buy guns. The previous record of 185,713 background checks was set one year earlier on Black Friday.
https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/26/566607006/black-friday-background-checks-reportedly-shoot-up-to-record-high

But there’s more to this insanity of putting out the gun problem with more guns. Ah who am I kidding? I know what country I live in! ‘MERICA!!!! So what better way to tell grandma you didn’t like her giblet gravy than by busting a cap in her ass?

What is the ideal thing to do the day after stuffing your face with turkey and giving thanks for all that is good in the world? For a record number of Americans, the answer seems to be to buy a firearm. The FBI received 203,086 requests for background checks on Black Friday, marking a substantial increase from the previous high of 185,713, which was set on the day after Thanksgiving last year. The record before that had also been set on Black Friday, 2015, when there were 185,345 checks.

The number of background checks shouldn’t be seen as a precise barometer for sales because one person can buy several firearms with one transaction. But it does suggest that firearms could have been the exception to what appeared to be generally sluggish Black Friday sales in brick-and-mortar stores. Online sales, however, soared 17.9 percent to $7.9 billion, according to Adobe Analytics.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/11/26/black_friday_sets_record_for_most_gun_background_checks_in_a_single_day.html

I know what you’re thinking… did I eat six drumsticks or only five? You know fuck Black Friday, it should really be called Red Friday!

For decades, the term “Black Friday” has conjured up distinct images: Turkey-stuffed consumers awake at insanely early hours of the morning, bursting into big-box stores to fight over flat screen TVs.

But in a muzzle flash, it seems, a new image may be replacing that stereotype. It involves a trigger and, possibly, a scope.

On Friday, the FBI received 203,086 requests for instant gun background checks, according to USA Today – nearly a 10 percent increase from the year before and a new record for background checks in a single day.

That’s not an anomaly. According to the FBI, the previous two records for background checks were also set on the day after the federal holiday in which Americans give thanks for the year’s blessings.
http://www.denverpost.com/2017/11/26/gun-background-check-record/

[font size="8"]Flat Earthers
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It’s now time for:

And man do I need a drink this week. Tell me, bartender… what goes good with talking about science? I know! Why don’t I get a glass of Walter White’s favorite whisky – a Dimple Pinch? Oh yeah on the rocks, neat. So why are we talking about science? Because it’s time to talk about one of my favorite subjects – flat earthers. I love the flat earthers. You know we talked about this in the monologue last week, but I feel that we need to expand on this a bit more. And this flat earther is a particular kind of crazy!

Science is littered with tales of visionaries who paid for pioneering research to prove their theories, and this weekend “Mad” Mike Hughes is hoping to join them. He plans to launch a homemade rocket in California as part of a bid to eventually prove that the Earth is flat.

Hughes has spent $20,000 (£15,000) building the steam-powered rocket in his spare time, and will be livestreaming the launch over the internet. The self-described daredevil says he switched his focus to rockets after twice breaking his back doing stunt jumps in cars.

“I don’t believe in science,” declared the 61-year-old. “I know about aerodynamics and fluid dynamics and how things move through the air. But that’s not science, that’s just a formula.”

The rocket, which Hughes aims to reach an altitude of 1,800ft (550 metres) over California, will be launched from the back of a converted motorhome purchased from Craigslist. It is sponsored by a flat Earth research group, and Hughes plans a subsequent trip to try and observe the flatness of the Earth for himself.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/nov/22/self-taught-rocket-scientist-plans-launch-to-test-flat-earth-theory

Yeah there’s so much wrong with this story where do I begin? You have a guy who doesn’t believe in science building a rocket after breaking his back doing stunt jumps. He’s not a flat earther – he’s your racist uncle! Can we show a picture of the rocket?

Look at how janky the welding looks on that rocket! I mean was it built by Acme corporation? But here’s why Flat Earthers are a special breed of crazy:

THE WEIRD WORLD OF 'FLAT EARTHERS'

Flat Earthers, as they call themselves, are not religious fundamentalists, but instead appear sincerely convinced they are victims of a massive cover-up.

The sheer number of websites and YouTube accounts dedicated to the cause is enough to make your head spin. One YouTube account run by theory advocate Mark Sargent has 43,952 subscribers.

The first Flat Earth International Conference was held this month in Raleigh, North Carolina - featuring speakers from "all over Flat Earth".

Earlier this year, an American Flat Earther approached a NASA employee at a Starbucks in an attempt to reveal the conspiracy theory he was protecting.
https://www.stuff.co.nz/science/99131525/the-weird-world-of-the-flat-earth-society

Yeah I can imagine that’s how it is going to go! But yeah… in case you’re wondering, Mr. “Mad Mike” doesn’t need to launch a rocket to prove the earth is flat.

The flat-Earth believer "Mad" Mike Hughes postponed his plans to launch himself in a homemade rocket thousands of feet in the air—but there is plenty of evidence that already reveals the Earth is indeed round, not flat.

Humans figured out that the Earth was round thousands of years ago—and without all the fancy space technology we have today to take photos of the Earth from above. Hughes, along with another notable flat-Earther, rapper B.o.B., are wrong—and there’s plenty of evidence why.

As early as 500 B.C., the ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras proposed the concept of a spherical Earth but without much concrete physical evidence, according to the American Physical Society. A few hundred years later, Aristotle noted several arguments showing that the Earth was round—including ones that people with doubts could see for themselves.
http://www.newsweek.com/how-we-know-earth-round-and-flat-earth-rocket-man-wrong-722956

By the way, I love that Neil DeGrasse Tyson trolled the flat earthers good in this regard:

https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/934906611088359426

That is hilarious. Oh and by the way, Mr. Hughes’ insane little experiment is being postponed because of – wait for it - the government! Yes it’s that danged gubmint that’s always the problem!

Unfazed by an official ban to launch himself in a homemade rocket over a California desert in a bid to prove that Earth is flat, Mike Hughes remains confident that he will eventually fly to the atmosflat as part of his ambitious flat-Earth project.

Hughes said he was postponing the flight, scheduled for Saturday, after he failed to get permission from the Bureau of Land Management to conduct it on public land.

He added, however, that he planned to launch sometime next week on private property in the Mojave Desert in Southern California, The Washington Post reported.
http://www.spacedaily.com/reports/Flat_Earthers_self_launch_plan_hits_a_snag_999.html

[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #24: The United Arab Emirates
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, in the last few weeks we’ve discovered that India has a cyber crime problem, Australia is a few steps away from nationalizing gay marriage, and Saudi Arabia has begun a real-life purge. Here’s the tour schedule:

[font size="6"]United Arab Emirates[/font]

Welcome to Dubai everybody! We’re doing a live show from the world’s largest building – the Burj Khalifa! Not to be confused with Whiz Khalifa, good sir! But that’s not the only thing that the Emirates has. It is where all the money in the United States is going as its’ chief export is the black gold. Texas tea – oil, that is! Dubai is the home of the world’s most expensive hotel – the Burj Al Arab. It’s also the home of two huge man made islands – one resembling a giant palm tree and the other resembling a map of the world. Dubai also has a place where you can ski indoors 24 hours a day and one of the world’s first completely underwater hotels. Just try to find it on Google Maps, I dare you! The UAE is also home to two of the world’s most profitable airlines with the most expensive first class seats in the industry. I’m told aviation is a huge deal in the UAE because they’re the only ones who can afford to fly these laps of luxury in the sky. I’m talking about Etihad Airlines out of the nation’s capital Abu Dhabi, and Emirates which operates out of Dubai. The UAE is also the home of the W Motors corporation that manufactures the world’s most expensive car known as the Lykan Hypersport – one of which was destroyed in the movie Furious 7. But what else is the UAE the home of? Well it’s the home of some uber wealthy financial mud slinging for starters!

United Arab Emirates Fund CEO Throws Shade at JP Morgan’s Jamie Dimon

شركة مبادلة (Mubadala Development Company PJSC), an Abu Dhabi-based state holding company, appears receptive to the global phenomenon sweeping through professional finance circles that is bitcoin. Its CEO, when asked about Jamie Dimon’s comments calling the decentralized currency a “fraud” that will “blow up,” answered that it was too soon to dismiss Satoshi’s creation.

“I have still have not formed a clear view on this,” Khaldoon Khalifa Al Mubarak, CEO and Managing Director of the Abu Dhabi company, began with regard to the technology undergirding bitcoin. “We’re still getting educated on this. The area I would have concern on, still, is the regulatory side. How is this going to be regulated?” he asked rhetorically.

Mubadala is an Abu Dhabi state holding company operating within a joint-stock scheme with assets well above 100 billion USD. The fund is proposed as “a pioneering global investor, deploying capital with integrity and ingenuity to accelerate economic growth for the long-term benefit of Abu Dhabi,” according to its website.
https://news.bitcoin.com/united-arab-emirates-fund-chief-throws-shade-at-jp-morgans-jamie-dimon/

So with excess wealth comes excess greed. I mean come on, we should know that living in America – which is a country that’s spiraling out of control toward a wealthy oligarchy. And with excess greed comes excess spending on, well… bullshit!

The UAE, a country where millions live off desalinated ocean water, says its next survival challenge will be figuring out how to grow fruits and vegetables on the surface of Mars. Obscene amounts of money are being invested by its space agency on a massive facility where they’ll use their desert mastery to cultivate lettuce, tomatoes, strawberries, and dates in their own backyard — which, they’ve realized, isn’t so different from Mars. The plan was announced at this week’s Dubai Airshow, where officials posed the very legitimate question of who, besides them, the space industry could trust to potentially blow millions on a big Matt Damon Martian lab?

In its pitch, the UAE Space Agency explained the similarities “between Mars and the desert,” adding $5.5 billion has been funneled into the nation’s colonization program to date. Construction on the desert facility — called Mars Science City, near Dubai — has already begun, and it constitutes one of Earth’s biggest interplanetary projects. Almost 2 million square feet, it’s expected to cost around $150 million, and is literally supposed to simulate being inside a Mars colony. Researchers will live under a series of domes that also house laboratories devoted to agriculture (among other things). Officials say they picked lettuce and those two fruits because scientists have already established those types of produce might work on the Red Planet, and then there’s the date palm “for its symbolic links with the region.”
http://www.grubstreet.com/2017/11/united-arab-emirates-unveils-plan-to-grow-lettuce-on-mars.html

Come on, you guys do know that the Martian was fantasy, right? And at some point you’re going to run out of ranch dressing for all that lettuce! And really, why do restaurants automatically assume you want ranch dressing with everything? Do they get paid by the ranch dressing industry under the table? Well, moving on. So why are the UAE so obsessed with space? Well, here’s the answer.

One thing you can't accuse the United Arab Emirates of lacking is vision.

First they unveiled plans to launch a Mars probe. Then it was an ambition to colonise the Red Planet.

Now the UAE has a new aim - to become a centre for space agriculture and the promotion of research into how food might be grown on Mars.

The space sector is a huge feature of the Dubai Airshow, with exhibitions, conferences, and speakers that include former Nasa Apollo 15 astronaut, Al Worden.
http://www.bbc.com/news/business-41984742

Maybe that’s what they’re building toward – a real life Mars University. But some good news – the WWE is getting it’s own franchise in the UAE! They’re only one step away from getting their own Fox News!

DUBAI: Some of the world’s best wrestlers are set to do battle in the Middle East when they pile-drive their way to the UAE for WWE LIVE Abu Dhabi on Dec. 7 and 8.

The contest in the capital features superstars such as, among others, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Braun Strowman and Sheamus.

“We are excited to bring WWE LIVE back to Abu Dhabi following overwhelming demand from our large, passionate fan base in the region,” said Carlo Nohra, WWE Middle East vice-president and general manager.
http://www.arabnews.com/node/1194946/sports

I hope the UAE doesn’t head in the direction that the US is in – we’re only a few steps away from President Camacho. Although if you do visit this glorious desert metropolis, you might want to not venture away from the tourist areas too much.

While the ruling family of the United Arab Emirates (UAE) seeks to promote a bright image of a civil state that respects the civil and human rights of its citizens, the reality on the ground — for an increasing number of human rights defenders, activists and academics — is much darker.

One landmark example is a case now known as the UAE 94, a group of human rights defenders, political activists, businesspeople, students, bloggers and others, all of whom were arrested and ill-treated – and some of them tortured — for calling for democratic reforms in the Emirates. This peaceful and legitimate exercise of freedom of association and freedom of expression was not treated as such.

The trial of the UAE 94 detainees began on 4 March 2013 before the Special Security Chamber at the Federal Supreme Court in Abu Dhabi, where they were charged with establishing an organization aimed at overthrowing the regime, a charge they all denied. Confessions extracted by force were accepted and considered satisfactory by the court despite the defendants’ objections and their declarations that torture was used to extract these confessions by the State Security Apparatus.
https://globalvoices.org/2017/11/03/united-arab-emirates-seven-months-after-completing-his-sentence-blogger-osama-al-najjar-remains-in-prison/

But there is one key benefit of living in the UAE – you will have perfect teeth! I mean have you ever seen any Arab Sheikhs with any flaws in their teeth? Neither have I!

Dubai: In an unprecedented achievement in the world, the UAE has obtained the Canadian diamond accreditation for all specialised dental centres of the Ministry of Health and Prevention, becoming the first country in the globe other than Canada to get this high accreditation.

The ministry announced that the accreditation has been granted to its dental centres after a Canadian team of experts conducted a thorough evaluation of all of them. The evaluation included examining the centres’ commitment to international standards related to adherence to quality, patient safety, drug management, infection control and occupational safety.

The evaluation process found that the Ministry of Health and Prevention has a 97 per cent rate of commitment to these international standards, an official said on Saturday.
http://gulfnews.com/news/uae/government/uae-s-dental-centres-obtain-canadian-diamond-accreditation-1.2122565

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

This is kind of a tricky one. On one hand the UAE has Dubai and Abu Dhabi – which are some pretty awesome cities to visit with tons of things to do. And like Vegas, there’s something new every time you visit. However, beyond those cities something very disgusting lies underneath.

Tourism: A+
Culture: B+
Political Spectrum: D-
Liberal Appeal: C-

Overall: C-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

We’ve got just 3 stops left before we are done with the first leg of the World Tour. Next up – we have a stop in the land of hockey, poutine, and curling as we visit the Great White North – Canada! Plus we’ll have some live music for you from Canada’s own Death From Above 1979!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Liam Gallagher[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest has a great new album out called “As You Were” and he is ½ of the group formerly known as Oasis. Playing his song called “Wall Of Glass”, give it up for Liam Gallagher!

See you next week! If we still live through this week that is!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: American Comedy Club, San Diego, CA
Special Thanks To: American Comedy Management
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
UAE Hosting: Emirates Productions, Dubai
Liam Gallagher Appears Courtesy Of: Warner Music Group
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

November 29, 2017

The Movement To Remake Religious Liberty Is Taking The Courts

The Senate Judiciary Committee is holding a hearing today on the nomination of Kyle Duncan to a lifetime seat on the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals. Duncan is one of several of Donald Trump’s judicial nominees who have been affiliated with conservative legal organizations that are working to remake American law to protect discrimination in the name of religious freedom.

The Religious Right has so far been thrilled with Trump’s nominations to the federal courts, in part with the hope that Trump’s judges will endorse the movement’s effort to rewrite the meaning of religious liberty. With Duncan and others, Trump is attempting to put representatives of this movement directly on the bench.

Duncan previously served as the general counsel of the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty. Matthew Kacsmaryk and Jeff Mateer, who have both worked for First Liberty Institute, are nominated to district court seats in Texas. As Sarah Posner notes in an in-depth profile of the Alliance Defending Freedom yesterday, Duncan and Mateer are also among the four Trump judicial nominees with ties to the behemoth conservative legal group, which has done more than any other to promote the radical reimagining of religious liberty.

Mateer’s nomination has gotten the most attention of these, given his comments about transgender children being part of “Satan’s plan,” his invocation of Nazi Germany in discussing the current treatment of conservative Christians in America, and his decision to speak at a conference that featured considerable discussion about the death penalty for gay people. But like Mateer, Duncan and Kasmaryk are poised to bring the ideology of the Religious Right, dressed up in the movement’s carefully calibrated talking points about religious liberty, into the federal courts.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/the-movement-to-remake-religious-liberty-is-taking-the-courts/

Remember: This is what Roy Moore's election is about. The Talibangelicals are fueled by hatred, and especially their unabashed hatred of the LGBT community, and when they win, we all lose. Roy Moore will vote to confirm every single one of their nominees, no matter how batshit fucking crazy they are, Doug Jones will not.

November 23, 2017

Mike Cernovich Claims Michael Flynn Was Targeted By Deep State For Investigating Pedophilia

STFU rapist! Pedophilia is one of the worst crimes imaginable, but you don't get to discredit anyone for it as long as you support Roy Moore. And you also don't get to discredit anyone for horrible sex crimes that you repeatedly brag about. So STFU and GTFO!

November 22, 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-23: Return Of The Son Of The Bride Of Young Al Frankenstein Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-23: Return Of The Son Of The Bride Of Young Al Frankenstein Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! So tonight we’re doing something a bit different – we’re honoring our host country Saudi Arabia by adhering to the strict customs and traditions of the Islamic religion. So unfortunately there will be no ladies in the audience tonight. I really hope that I don’t get sued for this one! But we’re in Saudi Arabia. We are back everybody! So normally I’d save this one for “People Are Dumb” but this one is so good that it’s hard to let it sink in with all the other categories of stupid people. So we got to talk about one of my favorite groups of stupid people – flat earthers. Yes, we have discussed flat earthers a lot on this program. But this guy might take the cake as far as one of the stupidest I’ve ever seen. And this is in my home state of California at that! This Saturday – in the Mojave Desert, a man named Mike Hughes is going to launch himself in a homemade rocket that will take him 1800 feet in the air to prove the earth is flat. Yes, this guy is building his own fucking rocket to launch himself into space! God bless America, am I right? Let’s show the picture of the rocket:

So is the rocket going to be made by Acme Corporation? Is the rocket just what you need for catching that pesky road runner? Does it come with free Acme Brand dynamite? By the way, I love that this was at a “flat earth conference” where this was announced and that included discussing such topics as “NASA being controlled by round-earth Freemasons” and “Elon Musk is building rocket ships from blimps”. This is all real by the way. And I love that he is going to “shut the door on this ball earth” once and for all damn it! By the way, I think I have a preview of how this might be going:

We’ll keep an eye on this story for next week, but man do I love making fun of flat earthers because they are a special kind of crazy. OK that’s enough of the intro, we got a lot of idiocy to cover this week! But first – we got to play Chance The Rapper’s song about Obama coming back from Saturday Night Live last week – it was a thing of beauty!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!! So before we ship off for the holidays, we’ve got some much needed idiocy to cover! Number one this week is Steve Bannon (1). So apparently Al Franken is now a member of the White Male Groper’s Club but the more you peel back the layers of this story, the more it looks like a carefully orchestrated reich wing power grab, and guess what? It was! At number 2 this week is also the White Male Groper’s Club (2) because they have been busy adding tons of new members including Transparent’s Jeffrey Tambor, Sly Stallone, and a few other creepy perverts. At number 3, speaking of creepy perverts, is President Donald J. Trump (3). Because the billionaires are demanding their return on investment when they bought Congress and the presidency in the 2016 elections, and Trump is determined to give it to them. At number 4 is also President Trump (4) who managed to do something no human being has been able to do – make LaVar Ball, father of the Los Angeles Lakers’ star Lonzo Ball, likeable! In the 5th slot we’ve got a new installment of “How Is This Still A Thing”, and we’re going to ask: The Presidential Turkey Pardon: How Is This Still A Thing? At number 6 is a now regular feature on the Top 10 – our weekly due diligence on all things holy as we present all the fucked up shit that the Christian right has been up to in “Holy Shit”. But this week we're going to break from the formula of poking holes in the religious rights' arguments, and instead tour the insane new $500 million, Hobby Lobby sponsored Bible Museum in Washington DC. At number 7 is Gene Simmons (7). Yes, that Gene Simmons of KISS fame. Did you know he’s a creepy pervert and got banned from Fox News for life? Neither are we! It’s insane. At number 8, we’re going to lighten things up and talk about penises. Specifically, the penis that was drawn in the sky over the state of Washington – by a military pilot! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) installment we’ve got another installment of People Are Dumb because, well, people are dumb! Finally this week we’ve got another stop of the Top 10 World Tour. This time we’re heading to the land of Mecca – Saudi Arabia! Uh oh, I hear they don’t have much of a sense of humor in that country! I hope we make it out alive! I will try to make it tasteful. Plus since we’re going to the desert, we have some live desert rock for you (see what I did there?) from Queens Of The Stone Age! If you don’t have their amazing new album “Villains”, well, get out of my audience! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]The Al Franken Hit Job
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So I spent the weekend trying to figure out how to carefully broach this one. Because the White Male Groper’s Club has been all over the news. It seems every single day there’s someone new accusing a celebrity of sexual harassment, abuse, or something more horrifying. And you really can’t joke about it, so for a comedy show how do we talk about this shit? And even worse when it’s one of our own who’s being accused? You know what happened last week, and so we have to talk about it.

When I saw the script, Franken had written a moment when his character comes at me for a ‘kiss’. I suspected what he was after, but I figured I could turn my head at the last minute, or put my hand over his mouth, to get more laughs from the crowd.

On the day of the show Franken and I were alone backstage going over our lines one last time. He said to me, “We need to rehearse the kiss.” I laughed and ignored him. Then he said it again. I said something like, ‘Relax Al, this isn’t SNL…we don’t need to rehearse the kiss.’

He continued to insist, and I was beginning to get uncomfortable.

He repeated that actors really need to rehearse everything and that we must practice the kiss. I said ‘OK’ so he would stop badgering me. We did the line leading up to the kiss and then he came at me, put his hand on the back of my head, mashed his lips against mine and aggressively stuck his tongue in my mouth.

Read more: http://www.kabc.com/2017/11/16/leeann-tweeden-on-senator-al-franken/

Yeah… well who does like you, Al? Well this is a very fucked up situation. Because on one hand this comes as the democrats have been attacking Roy Moore hard on his stance that he’s a creepy sexual predator with a history of abuse and allegations. I mean come on, even Al’s own former show – Saturday Night Live – was making fun of this!

Al Franken was part of “Saturday Night Live” for the first half its history, from the mid-1970s through the mid-’90s, but that didn’t quite absolve him from a “Weekend Update” poke — especially since there was supporting evidence in the form of a picture (an awful one).

“So much to be thankful for this year,” began co-anchor Colin Jost last night. “Unless you’re a human woman.” Cut to a rogue’s gallery picture — which now includes the onetime Stuart Smiley, longtime show writer and now Democratic senator from Minnesota who also stands accused of groping and tonguing. (Is there a better word than “tonguing,” but one that’s equally repulsive? Please let me know.)

Jost then went straight to the setup joke everyone was waiting for, also thereby potentially leading to an answer to this question — would Franken, an OFOL (“Old Friend of Lorne”) escape the wrath of “SNL,” or would he not?
https://www.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/snl-al-franken-1.15046653

Yeah really, do you believe this shit? But despite the abuse allegations, Al is not resigning. You know the photo that’s been circulating. You’ve seen it. We don’t need to show it. But here’s the difference between Al Franken and Roy Moore:

Washington (CNN)Minnesota Democratic Sen. Al Franken has no intention of stepping down, a Franken staffer told the Star Tribune on Saturday.
A spokesperson for Franken told the Minnesota paper "no" when asked if the senator would resign in the wake of a woman saying Franken forcibly kissed her and groped her while she slept in 2006.
"He is spending time with his family in Washington, DC, and will be through the Thanksgiving holiday," the spokesperson said. "And he's doing a lot of reflecting."

Franken's office did not immediately respond to a request to confirm or clarify the spokesperson's comments to the newspaper.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/19/politics/al-franken-minnesota/index.html

The difference is Al Franken knows to keep his mouth shut. Roy Moore on the other hand – who we’ll talk about later – is going frothing at the mouth batshit crazy accusing everyone of going on a witch hunt against him! But really, the news is just coming about Al Franken, do we really need to do this now?

Al Franken gets edited out of Letterman tribute

Al Franken is being edited out. As much as possible, that is. PBS has confirmed with USA TODAY that it will broadcast an updated version of David Letterman: The Mark Twain Prize on Monday (8 p.m. ET/PT; check local listings). The ceremony was taped at the Kennedy Center in Washington on Oct. 22. "Senator Al Franken participated in the event, but will not appear substantially in the PBS program airing nationally," says a statement sent to USA TODAY by Cecily Van Praagh, WETA national programming publicist.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/11/20/5-things-you-need-know-monday/878975001/

OK I needed that laugh. Maybe we could send a few of these guys to their own planet and let them grope each other? Maybe that’s why Elon Musk and other crazy billionaires are so interested in space exploration all of a sudden! But come on, don’t ask whether or not Al Franken should resign, as the republicans put it every time there’s a mass shooting – it’s too soon to talk about it!

Should Senator Al Franken resign following revelations of sexual harassment? Michelle Goldberg, writing in the Times, says yes, in order to preserve the momentum of “the current movement toward unprecedented accountability for sexual harassers.” Writing in the Washington Post, Kate Harding says no: as a legislator, Franken has done good things for women, and, as a repentant sexual harasser in politics, he could do even more. Both arguments clearly have merit, and both of the writers acknowledge that the opposing view is compelling. But maybe “Should Al Franken resign?” is the wrong question.

The question frames the conversation in terms of retribution, but it is not possible to hold to account every man who has ever behaved disrespectfully and disgustingly toward a woman. Nor even every senator, or every comedian. And, even if it were possible to punish every single one of them, what would be accomplished? Punishment, especially when it is delayed, is not a very effective deterrent.
https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/should-al-franken-resign-is-the-wrong-question

And yeah that one actually is wrong! But now that you think about it… is it really OK to joke about this sort of thing? I mean when you look over the joke history of Saturday Night Live… well, it seems a lot of the jokes now aren’t so funny!

The photo that emerged last week of the senior senator from Minnesota pawing the breasts of a sleeping woman was heinous, but it wasn’t unfamiliar. Nor was the mugging grin on Al Franken’s face as he grabbed her, or his initial response that he was trying to be funny. Sexist jokes have long been considered acceptable in American culture — and not only acceptable, but funny, in a way that a certain sketch comedy show perfected.

Franken is, after all, not only a politician, but a creator of “Saturday Night Live.” He was one of the show’s first writers in 1975, and was a producer from 1985 until 1995. While there, he reportedly once pitched a skit about “60 Minutes” correspondent Andy Rooney drugging and raping Lesley Stahl. Perhaps it’s not surprising that someone who thought that rape could be appropriate material for a network TV joke also thought it would be funny to sexually assault a colleague on a USO tour, eyebrows raised, smile wide. More to the point, though, that sort of base humor is in the very DNA of SNL, where frat-boy bluster and aggressive male sexuality have been enshrined for more than four decades.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/posteverything/wp/2017/11/20/al-frankens-saturday-night-live-era-was-full-of-jokes-disparaging-women/

But then there’s our 45th president. You know – him. Who this week said this about Al Franken just after the news broke:

WASHINGTON — Last fall, Donald J. Trump inadvertently touched off a national conversation about sexual harassment when a recording of him boasting about groping women was made public at the same time a succession of women came forward to assert that groping was something he did more than talk about.

A year later, after a wave of harassment claims against powerful men in entertainment, politics, the arts and the news media, the discussion has come full circle with President Trump criticizing the latest politician exposed for sexual misconduct even as he continues to deny any of the accusations against him.

In this case, Mr. Trump focused his Twitter-fueled mockery on a Democratic senator while largely avoiding a similar condemnation of a Republican Senate candidate facing far more allegations. The turn in the political dialogue threatened to transform a moment of cleansing debate about sexual harassment into another weapon in the war between the political parties, led by the president himself.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/17/us/politics/trump-sexual-harassment-debate.html

Come on, Trump! Really – this is what it’s come to. Trump has attacked Al Franken, but remains silent on Roy Moore. Can we throw that tweet up there?

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/931357870024687616

Al Frankenstein? Is this Frankenstein’s Monster? Or maybe it’s Young Al Frankenstein! Or maybe it’s The Son Of Young Al Frankenstein. Or maybe it’s the Son Of The Bride Of Young Al Frankenstein. Or maybe it’s Return Of The Son Of The Bride Of Young Al Frankenstein! Thank you! I’ve been waiting a week to tell that joke! Because you know, the first rule of comedy is timing! Oh and by the way he spelled Frankenstein wrong!

The first President of the United States to have boasted on tape about being so famous he could grab women “by the p*ssy” tweeted Thursday evening, “Where do [Al Franken’s] hands go in pictures 2,3,4, 5…”

This, after a conservative radio host on Thursday morning published a photo from 2006 in which Franken held his hands at her breasts as she slept on a flight they were taking from Afghanistan back to the United States after a USO tour. The former Saturday Night Live writer/performer was elected to the U.S. Senate in 2008.

Donald Trump also tweeted that Franken’s photo – here, the President calls him “Al Frankenstien” – is “really bad,” adding, “and to think that just last week he was lecturing anyone who would listen about sexual harassment and respect for women.”
http://deadline.com/2017/11/donald-trump-al-franken-tweet-harassment-photo-1202210529/

I’ll just leave this here.

[font size="8"]White Male Groper’s Club
[br] [/font] [br]

So now that we got the news about Al Franken out of the way, let’s talk about some other serial harassers. I mean come on, this is a news comedy show, and we can’t get away from this in the news at all! I mean it’s insane. Not just every week, it seems every day there’s someone new who’s being accused of sexual harassment. The latest? Jeffrey Tambor – you know him best as George Bluth from Arrested Development, or maybe recently Maura Pfefferman of Transparent:

“Playing Maura Pfefferman on Transparent has been one of the greatest privileges and creative experiences of my life,” the Emmy winning actor told Deadline on Sunday. “What has become clear over the past weeks, however, is that this is no longer the job I signed up for four years ago,” Tambor added of his role as the lead on the Jill Soloway created show.

“I’ve already made clear my deep regret if any action of mine was ever misinterpreted by anyone as being aggressive, but the idea that I would deliberately harass anyone is simply and utterly untrue,” Tambor asserted as well. “Given the politicized atmosphere that seems to have afflicted our set, I don’t see how I can return to Transparent.”

While a stunner on one level, this move by Golden Globe winner Tambor comes as the show itself was seemingly gearing up to shuffle him off the show.

As Deadline was first to report on November 14, since the first allegation against Tambor was made by his former assistant and transgender actress Van Barnes earlier this month, there have been discussions about writing the actor’s transgender Maura character out of the show for the upcoming fifth season. With a tiny bit of wiggle room for what may be legal reasons, it seems today that Jeffrey Tambor just made those talks a reality for the writers’ room.
http://deadline.com/2017/11/jeffrey-tambor-leaving-transparent-sexual-harassment-allegations-amazon-jill-soloway-1202211711/

Oh come on, Jeff! You know the classic rule in the showbiz world is to go out while you’re on top, right!
This might not be the best time to exit, that’s all I’m saying. But you know who else has been accused of entering the groper’s club? Sly himself – that’s right – Rocky has been accused of sexual harassment!

Rocky star Sylvester Stallone denied allegations that he sexually assaulted a 16-year-old girl in the late 1980s.

The Daily Mail reported on Thursday that a 16-year-old filed a police report that alleged she had been “intimidated” into having sex with Stallone and his then-bodyguard Michael De Luca at a Las Vegas hotel in 1986. The Daily Mail published a copy of the purported police report.

A spokesperson for Stallone denied the report in a statement to the Hollywood Reporter. “This is a ridiculous, categorically false story,” Michelle Bega, the actor’s rep, said. “No one was ever aware of this story until it was published today, including Mr. Stallone. At no time was Mr. Stallone ever contacted by any authorities or anyone else regarding this matter.”
http://time.com/5029300/sylvester-stallone-sexual-assault-allegations/

Well yeah you know I can’t people are accusing me, Rocky, of sexual harassment. And you know what I can’t believe it either. YOU WANT TO FIGHT THE FIGHT???? I’lLL FIGHT THE FIGHT!!!! You all are GREEDY AND LAZY!!! By the way, you know what? Don’t say things you won’t regret when it comes to scandals and assault. I’m looking at you, Morrissey!

Morrissey has invited fresh criticism over comments he made about Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey.

The former Smiths frontman spoke about the ongoing sexual harassment scandal in Hollywood, reportedly calling claims against Spacey "ridiculous" and arguing that definitions of harassment and assault have become too broad.

“As far as I know, he was in a bedroom with a 14-year-old. Kevin Spacey was 26, boy 14. One wonders where the boy’s parents were," he told Der Spiegel, according to a translation cited by AV Club.
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/morrissey-harvey-weinstein-kevin-spacey-comments-victims-der-spiegel-interview-rape-backlash-a8063476.html

You know what else doesn’t work in these situations? Logic! I mean soon there won’t be any good music, movies, books, anything if it continues! Or even media as there was a writer from the New York Times who got suspended!

The New York Times said on Monday it is suspending White House correspondent Glenn Thrush while it investigates allegations in a new report from Vox that he made unwanted sexual advances toward young women, including colleagues from his time working for POLITICO.

Three women, including the piece’s author, Laura McGann, a former editor at POLITICO, alleged forms of unwanted contact or kissing by Thrush, while a fourth described an encounter that she said was consensual but nonetheless left her feeling shaken because of Thrush’s powerful position at POLITICO at the time. The incidents, which occurred in the last five years, all involved women in their 20s, Vox reported.
https://www.politico.com/story/2017/11/20/glenn-thrush-sexual-misconduct-allegations-250340?lo=ap_a1

We’ll get to Holy Shit in a few minutes, but the list of sexual predators keeps growing and growing, you know – like that pile of dog shit on the street outside your house:

After multiple women came forward to accuse Harvey Weinstein, the Hollywood producer, of sexual misconduct, at least 30 high-profile men in a variety of industries have also been accused. Since then, a number have resigned, been fired or experienced other fallout after claims ranging from inappropriate text messages to rape.

Here is a list of such cases that have been brought to public attention since the Weinstein scandal broke on Oct. 5. We’ll update this list periodically as we get new information.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/11/10/us/men-accused-sexual-misconduct-weinstein.html

I also have to do a mention of Charlie Rose as well – and this one is a shock. But it is what it is, and next week we will do a deep dive on this as well as what that douchebag Mike Cernovich did.

An internal memo at CBS, which announced its move first, said the decision "followed the revelation yesterday of extremely disturbing and intolerable behavior."

CBS suspended Rose shortly after The Washington Post published a 5,000-word story on Monday about alleged harassment, based on interviews with eight women who described "unwanted sexual advances."

Rose said in a statement that he "deeply apologized" for what he admitted was "inappropriate behavior."
http://money.cnn.com/2017/11/21/media/cbs-news-fires-charlie-rose/index.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

There’s two things in life that are certain – death and taxes. And you can bet that since the 2016 election, the GOP’s billionaire investors have been begging and pleading for a return on their investment. And well, the GOP’s tax plan is much like that box of Omaha Steaks that’s been sitting in your freezer the last two years – the more you peel back the layers, the more you’re going to find something disgusting underneath.

White House aide Kellyanne Conway on Monday suggested Alabama voters should support embattled Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore because he would vote for the GOP's tax reform legislation making its way through Congress.

“Doug Jones in Alabama, folks, don’t be fooled. He will be a vote against tax cuts. He is weak on crime, weak on borders. He is strong on raising your taxes. He is terrible for property owners," Conway said on "Fox & Friends."

“So, vote Roy Moore?” host Brian Kilmeade interjected.

“I’m telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through,” Conway said, calling Jones a “doctrinaire liberal.”

Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/361164-conway-on-moore-we-want-the-votes-to-pass-tax-reform

That’s right – the GOP controlled Congress is so dead set on giving the billionaires their precious refund that they’re courting the vote of a serial child molester like Roy Moore! Let that sink in for a minute! I mean it would be like the town from Family Guy where they have a tie breaking vote on anything, and the only guy who can cast the vote is Herbert The Pervert. But like I said the more you peel back the layers the more it stinks.

The Trump tax cuts are zipping through Congress at the legislative version of light speed. House Republicans unveiled their plan for overhauling America’s tax code on November 2; they passed it two weeks later. The Senate GOP revealed its (actual) tax bill last Tuesday; Mitch McConnell plans to vote it out of the upper chamber the week after Thanksgiving.

The frenetic pace of the GOP’s tax “reform” push has left some of the party’s own members short of breath. “You’re rewriting a tax code for a generation, and you are doing it in ten days,” Republican congressman Peter King said Thursday. “In [1986], it took two years to put together a tax reform bill.”

King’s exasperation is warranted. A couple of weeks might be enough time for legislators, policy analysts, and voters to consider the legislation’s first-order effects: Whose taxes will go up, whose will go down, and how much revenue will be lost in the process. But it’s far too brief an interval for lawmakers (let alone, the public) to comprehend the broader consequences of those changes.
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/11/how-the-trump-tax-cuts-would-reshape-our-economy.html

Now you know that the Trump tax plan is full of shit. But really – is it acceptable for any president to attack a member of their OWN party for not being loyal enough?

President Donald Trump lashed out at Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) after he was heard over a hot mic saying the Republican Party would be “toast” if it stuck with the president and Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore.

Trump tweeted Sunday that “Jeff Flake(y)” was “unelectable.” The president claimed that Flake was “caught (purposely) on ‘mike’ saying bad things about your favorite President.” Trump also said he expects Flake to vote against the GOP tax reform package.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-slams-jeffflake-as-toast_us_5a122ec5e4b0e97dffee2a29

Can we throw that tweet up there?

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/932388590344196096

Can someone please teach Trump how to properly use quotations if he’s trying to be funny? You know Twitter might want to rethink the whole 280 characters thing. But you know this is why the rest of the world is laughing at us – think about it. We have two leaders of their own party fighting over the proper usage of the word “toast”.

Sen. Jeff Flake, a frequent sparring partner of President Donald Trump, continues to make enemies in his own party after calling the GOP "toast" while unaware he was still on a live mic.

Flake, R-Ariz., was at a tax reform event in Mesa, Arizona on Friday night when he was caught bashing the president in a conversation with friend, Mesa Mayor John Giles.

"If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast," Flake was caught saying by ABC affiliate KNXV.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/republican-senator-caught-live-mic-gop-toast-leadership/story?id=51239423

Attention Jeff Flake! Attention Jeff Flake! The GOP has already become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump! This tax plan is so controversial that even the guy that New Jersey elected last week is already causing fights!

TRENTON -- Incoming Gov. Phil Murphy wasted little time in igniting a feud against the only federal lawmaker from New Jersey who supported the House Republican tax bill that would curb the deduction for state and local taxes.

Murphy, a Democrat, this weekend singled out U.S. Rep. Tom MacArthur, R-3rd Dist., who backed the legislation even as the state's other four House Republicans and seven House Democrats did not.

"I don't for the life of me understand why Rep. MacArthur voted for it," Murphy told News 12 in his first sit-down television interview since winning the Nov. 7 election to succeed Republican Gov. Chris Christie. "The other four Republican congressmen did not, to their credit."
http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2017/11/murphy_vs_macarthur_shots_fired_over_trump_tax_plan.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

Our esteemed president… excuse me a minute… Donald J. Trump, this week managed to do one thing that no one in history has ever done. He managed to make a guy who’s generally perceived as unlikeable, and he managed to make them likeable. Yeah he’s the opposite of King Midas – everything he touches has the opposite effect. And I do mean by that it turns to shit. So by now you know the story of the UCLA basketball players who got arrested in China. And if there’s one guy who you don’t want to fuck with, it’s discount Michael Jordan, LaVar Ball.

(CNN)President Donald Trump on Sunday shot back at Lavar Ball, the father of one of the UCLA basketball players arrested in China, for belittling the President's role in the students' release.
"Now that the three basketball players are out of China and saved from years in jail, LaVar Ball, the father of LiAngelo, is unaccepting of what I did for his son and that shoplifting is no big deal," Trump tweeted. "I should have left them in jail!"
Later Sunday evening, the President tweeted again, saying, "Shoplifting is a very big deal in China, as it should be (5-10 years in jail), but not to father LaVar. Should have gotten his son out during my next trip to China instead. China told them why they were released. Very ungrateful!"
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/19/politics/trump-response-lavar-ball/index.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Dude, you’re the president, you don’t threaten to leave private citizens in a foreign jail in a country known for egregious human rights violations! Oh and apparently he was just being sarcastic, y’all!

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump was being "rhetorical" when he said that he should have left the three UCLA basketball players arrested in China in jail, the White House said Monday.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said Trump was "happy to intervene" on behalf of the American student athletes detained on suspicion of shoplifting, and that his tweets were "less about the players" and instead focused on one of the players' father, LaVar Ball.

Ball, a former basketball player, seemed to question Trump's role in his son's release in an interview with ESPN on Friday.

"Who? What was he over there for? Don't tell me nothing. Everybody wants to make it seem like he helped me out," Ball said of Trump.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-tweets-about-ucla-basketball-players-rhetorical-white-house-says-n822651

Zapp Brannagin must take his cues from Trump! Because Trump is that guy, all he wants is your undying loyalty and you must not question dear leader! By the way, LaVar Ball was interviewed on CNN and he did not hesitate to go completely unhinged.

(CNN)On Monday night, CNN's Chris Cuomo took on a difficult task: Interviewing talker-in-chief LaVar Ball about his son's arrest in China and the role -- or lack thereof -- that President Trump played in the release of LiAngelo Ball as well as two other UCLA basketball players. LaVar Ball -- as is his reputation -- let fly some doozies about Trump and, well, almost everything else too.
Below, my favorite 39 lines from the self-described "Big Baller." (You can check out the full transcript -- and it is looooooong -- here.)
1. "It's not like he was in the US and said, OK, there's three kids in China, I need to go over there and get them? That wasn't the thought process, right?"
This is the logic that allows Ball to justify not thanking Trump for helping to secure the release of his son and two other players. Trump was already in the middle of a pre-planned trip to Asia. It's not like he flew over there to save LiAngelo Ball alone! He just talked to the president of China about it! I mean, I guess?

2. "I don't have to say, to go around saying thank you to everybody."
Boom. Nailed it.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/21/politics/lavar-ball-chris-cuomo-amazing-lines/

By the way who else wants to see a Trump and LaVar Ball steel cage death match in Trump’s favorite sport – the WWE? As the late great George Carlin said – fuck cable, put this shit on Pay Per View! I would gladly pay the $49.99 to see that!

The president isn't on the list of people the Ball family is going to be thankful for this holiday.

Stephen Colbert talked about Donald Trump's weekend tweets about the UCLA basketball players and the president's beef with LaVar Ball on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

The incident involved the UCLA basketball players shoplifting in a China mall and Trump's plea to get them release. The father of one of the players, LaVar Ball, responded to Trump's involvement in getting his son released with the Mariah Carey approach. His one-worded response didn't sit well with President Trump.

Trump tweeted he should've left the players in jail which made the late night host end the segment with "Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump. I know you're upset, but maybe now's not the time to be applying that someone's kid should go to jail for what their dad did."

Trump might need some ice for that third degree burn.
http://mashable.com/2017/11/21/late-show-stephen-colbert-lavar-ball-trump/#IsvnNVQCFmqN

And by the way Trump fans, I know you're in a cult and you've been brainwashed into thinking that people shouldn't question Dear Leader Trump, because he is the know all, end all infinite knowledge of the universe guy, but if you're going to be angry at LaVar Ball, at least know who it is you're angry at *BEFORE* directing your misguided anger! But I do have to give props to LaVar Burton for having a sense of humor about the whole thing!

Never let spelling get in the way of a good Twitter rant.

“Star Trek” actor LeVar Burton has been receiving hate mail intended for LaVar Ball in the middle of his feud with President Trump.

“You're a has been actor with a thief for a son and Trump is the president of the United States. Get the picture?” one person tweeted.

“LaVar Burton broke the rules of good manners. He insulted our president and the president of China. He should be ashamed that his son dishonored him by stealing,” tweeted another.

Burton has laughed off the confusion.
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/angry-trump-fans-yelling-levar-burton-not-lavar-ball-article-1.3649534?utm_content=buffer6b5a0&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Oh and by the way Trump fans, we're laughing *AT* you, not with you!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

Time once again to ask:

This week: The Presidential Turkey Pardon. How Is This Still A Thing? Can we please admit that in 2017, that the presidential turkey pardon is one of the stupidest traditions in American history? Especially when a giant turkey currently occupies the Oval Office? I mean what business does Trump have pardoning a turkey when he is one? And anyone remember how lavish his Thanksgiving spread was? And they call Hillary the elitist. But like one of our favorite traditions – the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest (‘Merica!!!) on July 4th, the presidential turkey pardon gets more ridiculous every year, and it really makes one wonder why the terrorists hate us. This year adds a turkey fashion show:

What makes a good presidential turkey? Showmanship. A readiness to strut his stuff and gobble on command, yet enough restraint to stay on a table for the big photo op.

So say a Minnesota turkey farmer and 4-H kids who raised the turkey that will go to the White House for an official pardon from President Donald Trump on Tuesday. It's the 70th anniversary of the National Thanksgiving Turkey tradition. Here's a little deeper look at the event and what goes into it:

THE TRADITION

White House archives show that Americans have sent presidents holiday turkeys at least since 1873 under President Ulysses S. Grant. But the National Thanksgiving Turkey dates from 1947, when the National Turkey Federation became the official supplier and presented a 47-pound gobbler to President Harry Truman. In those days the turkeys were destined for dinner.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-trump-thanksgiving-turkey-pardon-20171121-story.html

I like that one! Excuse me a minute…

By the way, if you want suggestions for a centerpiece maybe don’t ask Ivanka Trump, because at a Thanksgiving dinner, you want people to come to the table, not run away from it screaming in horror!

The lifestyle brand named after the first daughter tweeted out a blog post on Thursday featuring ideas from interior designer Allison Domonoske on how to create a memorable Thanksgiving centerpiece. But instead of being trendy and popular, the suggestions were nightmarish and widely mocked.

IvankaTrump.com called the creation a "beautiful, bold and unexpected Thanksgiving tablescape," but the internet disagreed. It not only tore apart Domonoske's concept—a giant clam shell filled with pumpkins, moss, milkweed, pine cones and driftwood—but also searched for hidden meaning in the project.

Several Twitter users noted that even the pumpkins Domonoske selected were white, linking the choice to Donald Trump's anti-immigrant rhetoric, repeated Muslim ban proposals and his perma-tanned skin. Some compared the over-the-top nature of the decoration to the president's $100 million gilded penthouse in New York City. And others simply pointed out the differences in the priorities of the first family versus everyday Americans.
http://www.newsweek.com/ivanka-trump-thanksgiving-table-centerpiece-wtf-716052

Can we show that?

https://twitter.com/IvankaTrumpHQ/status/931303381464965122

Yeah that doesn’t say “beautiful and unexpected”, that says “I’m going to eat your children in their sleep and give them nightmares!”. Back to the subject at hand – the presidential turkey pardon. Pundits are already speculating that this might be the weirdest Thanksgiving ever. Thanks Putin for ruining my favorite holiday for me!

Drumstick and Wishbone have been living it up in Washington, D.C. – but only one has what it takes to be the National Thanksgiving Turkey.

President Donald Trump will pardon one of the gobblers at 1 p.m. on Tuesday at the White House, as part of a tradition that may date as far back as Abraham Lincoln. This ritual will mark the 70th year the National Turkey Federation has presented the president with a turkey.

Trump will either pardon either Drumstick or Wishbone, depending on the results of a poll from the White House. (While just one will be used for the ceremony, both will be spared from the Thanksgiving table.)

The two turkeys appear to be living a life of luxury as they await the ceremony in the capital. Photos of both birds posted on the White House’s Twitter and Instagram accounts showed them staying at the Willard InterContinental Hotel, a five-star hotel just blocks away from the White House.
http://time.com/5033050/trump-pardons-national-thnaksgiving-turkey/

How about this – maybe don’t name turkeys after the food they will ultimately will become, let’s not torture the poor birds! But here’s the main difference between the democratic and republican Thanksgivings, and can you be shocked at how the other one lives? And they have the nerve to call the democrats elitist!

This is probably why it feels like we’re gearing up for a very weird Thanksgiving this year, under Trump. It’s the most American of holidays, and it’s the most humanizing of presidential celebrations, as, usually, we get to see the president doing what presidents have always done, despite their political gains and losses. But Donald Trump has already shown how awkwardly (if not offensively) he performs the least polemicized of presidential duties, like calling the family members of fallen soldiers or visiting with the victims of natural disasters. Not to mention, how he managed to make a visit from trick-or-treating children on Halloween as uncomfortable as possible.

The White House Thanksgiving is epitomized by the presidential turkey pardon in the Rose Garden, one of those bizarre, off-kilter traditions that are next-to-impossible to fully explain to foreigners, like trying to convey the meaning of a particularly wonky idiom. On Tuesday, Trump will pardon two turkeys (as usual, a chosen turkey and a back-up) though we have yet to know their names. It’s difficult to imagine this will go very smoothly for him, with his strange history with animals. Not only are his offspring famous for shooting them, Trump had that very odd and oft-memed photoshoot with a bald eagle for Time magazine (the eagle could clearly sense something was wrong). And many people have remarked that Trump is the first president in several decades not to have a dog (or cat or fish or bird), despite a member of his Palm Beach cohort seemingly rearing one (Patton) expressly for that purpose
https://www.vogue.com/article/weirdest-thanksgiving-ever-under-trump

Yes – how do you explain this to foreigners? You can’t even really explain it to children. See kids? That turkey has been fed a steady diet of hardcore steroids and growth formulas! That’s why it’s big enough to be the national turkey! But we can’t eat it! And a new study shows that Trump and turkey don’t mix:

Turkey and Trump don’t mix, and now we have the data to prove it.

Economists M. Keith Chen of UCLA and Ryne Rohla of Washington State University used location records from 10 million smartphones and precinct-level voting data to prove that Donald Trump’s election shortened Thanksgiving dinners by 62 million hours nationwide in 2016. Their working paper is currently under review by the journal Science.

The research showed that politically divided families cut their parties short by an average of 20 to 30 minutes and that Republican voters were more likely to leave parties in Democratic households than Democrats were to leave Republican ones. The partisan divide was even more pronounced in areas with heavily targeted political advertising.

Chen and Rohla started their research by using anonymized data from Safegraph, which collected more than 17 trillion smartphone location markers in November 2016. These statistics allowed “observation of actual (not self-reported) movement behavior, at extremely precise spatial and temporal levels,” they write.
http://observer.com/2017/11/thanksgiving-politics-trump-data/

And guess where Trump is having his first ever Thanksgiving dinner? We’ll give you a hint – it ain’t at the White House, that is for damn sure!

Plans appear to be underway for President Trump to spend Thanksgiving at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida.

The Federal Aviation Administration issued a "VIP Movement Notification" for Palm Beach, Fla., Tuesday night, flagging dates between Nov. 21 and 26 for flight restrictions.

The notices are typically issued ahead of planned visits by the president to give other pilots advanced warning of possible restrictions in a particular area.

The latest FAA notice was first reported by the Palm Beach Post.
http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/360414-trump-expected-to-travel-to-mar-a-lago-for-thanksgiving

So there you have it – a perfect storm of meat sweats, terrible Thanksgiving decorations, and an actual turkey in the White House. That’s enough to make you ask – the Presidential Turkey Pardon:

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

Yes friends! Gather around friends! Pass the collection plate friends! Yay, in this darkest of times, we turn to the holiest among us. But now we must be reminded weekly that the holiest among us are full of well…

This week, we’re going to do something a bit different from our weekly nonsense of trashing the religious right. Instead, we’re going to head to Washington DC, my sons and daughters because there they are opening up a new tourist attraction!

When the Museum of the Bible throws open its bronze doors Nov. 17, it will invite the world to engage with the Great Book free.

But not everyone will get in.

Washington’s newest museum is expecting capacity crowds for its opening celebration, beginning with a formal dedication Friday and stretching through the weekend. All of the timed tickets for Saturday and Sunday have been distributed, officials said, and most weekend tickets have been snapped up through mid-December. Midweek spots are available as soon as Monday afternoon.

Advance tickets are available free on the museum website. They are not required for entry, but they will take the gamble out of a visit, officials said.

“We’re going to do everything we can” to get people in, a museum vice president, Steve Bickley, said. “But we strongly encourage tickets.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/museums/bible-museum-expects-capacity-crowds-for-opening/2017/11/10/17d02030-c596-11e7-afe9-4f60b5a6c4a0_story.html

So they do realize that giving away free tickets means that the museum is only going to lose money, am I not right about that? Never mind for it has the backing of thine billionaires! But apparently there beith a wicked bible that was printed specifically for this museum of all things holy!

The “Wicked Bible” omits one crucial word from the Seventh Commandment.

“Thou shalt commit adultery,” the Wicked Bible commands.

Definitely not the message conveyed on the stone tablets Moses brought down from Mount Sinai, according to the Book of Exodus. The Ten Commandments made liberal use of the word “NOT.”

The doozy of an error in Exodus 20:14 was discovered a full year after the King James Bible was published in 1631 in London.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/retropolis/wp/2017/11/17/the-new-bible-museums-wicked-bible-thou-shalt-commit-adultery/

And speaking of not, the Bible museum apparently has everything – because that is what THE LORD OUR GOD would want, and he is the creator of all that is holy in this world! Can I get an amen! But placing such a lavish palace of all things holy in DC is *NOT* about inserting religion into thine politics!

The leadership of the Museum of the Bible has been working hard in the run-up to this weekend’s opening to emphasize the inclusive, academic, apolitical nature of the museum, which organizers say will be the world’s largest dedicated to the Bible and sits just off the Mall.

And so its opening black-tie gala Thursday night is presenting a challenge: The $50,000-a-table fundraising event is at the Trump hotel.

Officials at the nonprofit museum say the decision was for pragmatic, scheduling reasons but some museum employees and academic consultants refused to enter the hotel affiliated with the controversial president.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2017/11/15/washingtons-huge-new-bible-museum-says-it-wants-to-stay-out-of-politics-but-its-opening-gala-is-at-the-trump-hotel/

Yes!!!! Because if I remember correctly GREED IS A SIN!!!! And the greediest of the greedy must be cleansed of this sin!!!!! Because that’s what the LORD OUR GOD would want, creator of all that is holy in this world! Can I get an AMEN!!!! But their might be some fakeness on their part! I mean not everything in this museum can be genuine, can it?

The Museum of the Bible finally opened its Genesis-inscribed doors Friday (Nov. 17) in Washington, D.C. But questions still linger over the authenticity of some of its star artifacts: fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

The private museum is supporting research into the manuscripts to find out whether they are legitimate, 2,000-year-old scraps of the ancient Hebrew Bible or modern forgeries.

The original Dead Sea Scrolls, which make up the earliest surviving pieces of the Old Testament, were found between 1947 and 1956 in the Qumran caves of the Judean Desert. Many of the texts were sold to archaeologists through a local antiquities dealer, Khalil Iskander Shahin, who went by the name "Kando.&quot

This was a time before a 1970 UNESCO convention made it illegal to dig up and sell such cultural artifacts.)
https://www.livescience.com/60985-dead-sea-scroll-forgeries.html

So the “actual” Dead Sea Scrolls might actually be fake? I am shocked, shocked I tell you!!! But now this question must be asked of the Bible Museum: Where beith thine Jesus?

Visitors to Washington, D.C. will now be able to add the Museum of the Bible to their sightseeing to-do lists. The museum, which cost $500 million to build and opens Friday, proclaims its purpose is, “to invite all people to engage with the history, narrative and impact of the Bible.” However, the Museum of the Bible and its founder Steve Green have been entangled in politics, making the high-tech, 430,000-foot space more controversial than it may appear. It's all part of a larger pattern of the mixing of politics and religion in spaces that are billed as being for entertainment or education.

In an interview with Philanthropy Roundtable, Green said the museum is “not evangelical. It’s more informative.” However, Green, who is the CEO of Hobby Lobby, footed the bill for the museum and is the chairman of the museum’s board. The Green family provided artifacts—while Hobby Lobby has faced legal action over the smuggling of artifacts. The museum's other controversial board members include Gregory S. Baylor, who works at Alliance Defending Freedom, a designated hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.
https://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/new-museum-bible-dc-totally-connected-christian-right-agenda

Oh Jesus! I mean you have a ½ billion dollar museum dedicated to him, but does not have much mention of him! And do I dare sayeth what we are thinking about the people who fund this museum?

Eight years ago, Hobby Lobby president Steve Green found a new way to express his Christian faith. His family’s $4 billion arts and craft chain was already known for closing stores on Sundays, waging a Supreme Court fight over birth control and donating tens of millions of dollars to religious groups.

Now, Green would begin collecting biblical artifacts that he hoped could become the starting point for a museum.

On Friday, that vision will be realized when the 430,000-square-foot Museum of the Bible opens three blocks from the U.S. Capitol in what marks the most prominent public display of the family’s deep religious commitment. The $500 million museum includes pieces from the family’s collection from the Dead Sea Scrolls, towering bronze gates inscribed with text from the Gutenberg Bible and a soundscape of the 10 plagues, enhanced by smog and a glowing red light to symbolize the Nile turned to blood.
http://thesouthern.com/news/hobby-lobby-owner-readies-million-bible-museum/article_544d9c7d-9960-5a8b-8bd9-c98ce6bed0e7.html

Yay, there you have it – a Bible museum funded by Hobby Lobby but without much mention of Jesus. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That is it this week for:

[font size="8"]Gene Simmons
[br] [/font] [br]

We need some music for this one.

Is heavy metal music allowed here in Saudi Arabia? OK that’s good. So why am I playing I Wanna Rock And Roll All Night for this entry? Well we got to talk about Kiss frontman and your creepy uncle’s creepy uncle, Gene Simmons. You know he’s got that insane $25,000 box set coming out in the next couple of months. But would you be surprised at all to learn that Gene Simmons is a member of the White Male Groper’s Club? Well neither are we. But add him to the other Groper’s Club – Fox News, and it’s a toxic mix waiting to happen. I mean what do you have to do to get banned for life from Fox News? Other than admit you voted for Hillary? Hey o!!!

According to a report by the Daily Beast’s Lloyd Grove, who first reported the news, “Fox finally had enough of Simmons after he crudely insulted female Fox staffers, taunted them and exposed his chest, and otherwise behaved like the “demon” character he plays on stage.”

The specific instance which broke the camel’s back took place when Simmons charged into a closed 14th floor meeting at Fox and opened his shirt.

“Hey, chicks, sue me,” Simmons told the assembled staffers, according to the Daily Beast, which reported that he also joked about Michael Jackson and pedophilia and disparaged the intelligence of network employees.

Representatives for Simmons were immediately available for comment.
http://www.chron.com/entertainment/the-wrap/article/Kiss-Frontman-Gene-Simmons-Banned-for-Life-From-12365414.php

By the way if you’re banned for life from Fox News for some extremely creepy behavior, maybe don’t go on a European talk show for some equally creepy behavior!

Legendary hell-raiser Gene Simmons was an unlikely guest on early morning TV, and the Kiss guitarist did not disappoint in the shock stakes.

The Rock N Roll star began his interview with a war of words with host Piers Morgan, with the latter reminding him of the time he beat Gene on the celebrity version of the Apprentice.

Then Piers asked him to whip out his famous tongue - which is reportedly insured for $1 million.

Gene was initially reluctant and flatly declined, saying it would lead to scores of complaints.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/gene-simmons-leaves-viewers-gagging-11557015

But would you be shocked at all that Gene joined the coveted White Male Gropers’ Club this week as two women accused him of sexual harassment? This list just keeps growing!

When allegations began surfacing against Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, and then later other famous men like Louis CK, Jeremy Piven, and even CBS News anchor Charlie Rose – it wasn't easy to wonder when musicians would be called out for their inappropriate behavior. We've already seen allegations against a few musicians, and today Gene Simmons has been put in the hot seat.

Simmons was banned from Fox News last week, after acting inappropriately towards some women who worked there. Shortly after being asked about the Weinstein allegations on a show, and claiming to support women, Simmons barged into a conference room, unbuttoned his shirt to expose his chest and started yelling “Hey chicks, sue me!” According to a report from The Daily Beast, "he starting telling Michael Jackson pedophilia jokes, and then bopped two employees on the head with his book, making derisive comments about their comparative intelligence according to the sound their heads made when struck." Simmons was escorted out of the building and now there is a photo of his at the front security desk, with an advisory not to be let onto the premises.
http://www.metalinjection.net/metal-crimes/two-women-accuse-kiss-gene-simmons-of-sexual-harassment

But it’s all good! Apparently Gene issued an apology to Fox News because why wouldn’t you? And this is after he promoted his column about how money buys you happiness. Does it?

Gene Simmons has issued a statement apologizing for "unintentionally" offending female staffers during his appearance on Fox News and Fox Business.

It was reported late last week that the KISS bassist/vocalist was banned for life from Fox due to lewd behavior following his appearance last Wednesday (November 15) on the right-leaning cable channels. The Daily Beast reported Simmons was on hand to promote his latest book, the financial self-help guide titled "On Power", on both "Fox & Friends" and "Mornings With Maria". Gene, who, during the "Fox & Friends" appearance, took the opportunity to aid meteorologist Janice Dean in her weather report, later on spoke frankly about the various sexual misconduct scandals in Hollywood.

Having previously boasted about his sexual appetite and decades of consensual conquests, Simmons said during the panel on "Mornings With Maria": "I'm a powerful and attractive man and what I'm about to say is deadly serious. Men are jackasses. And from the time we're young, we have testosterone. I'm not validating it or defending it. Guys need to be trained from their very, very young ages from their mothers and their loved ones that half the world's population are female, and they need to be treated with respect."

Read more at http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/gene-simmons-apologizes-for-unintentionally-offending-members-of-fox-team.html#srxCt2FP7SjJM5oT.99

[font size="8"]Penis In The Sky
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Let’s lighten things up and talk about penises, shall we? Because we haven’t talked about sex enough this week! It’s OK to joke about penises here in Saudi Arabia, isn’t it? OK sweet! Because I am going to let the dick jokes fly in this one. And as the late great George Carlin once said, what would a comedy show be without some dick jokes? Well, specifically we go to Washington for this one, and well, it’s a huge one!

Residents of Washington state turned their eyes to a clear blue sky Thursday and found themselves staring at a cartoonish rendering of male genitalia, sketched in airplane exhaust by at least one Navy EA-18G Growler jet.

The image stretched hundreds of feet high over the Okanogan Highlands, based on photographs shared on social media. It has spawned a full Navy investigation, with a senior officer, Vice Adm. Mike Shoemaker, promising to examine the issue fully and respond.

“The American people rightfully expect that those who wear the Wings of Gold exhibit a level of maturity commensurate with the missions and aircraft with which they’ve been entrusted,” said Shoemaker, who oversees naval air operations, in a statement released by the service. “Naval aviation continually strives to foster an environment of dignity and respect. Sophomoric and immature antics of a sexual nature have no place in Naval aviation today.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2017/11/17/a-navy-pilot-drew-a-penis-in-the-sky-its-not-the-first-time-something-like-this-has-been-investigated/

So it’s not the first time a NAVY pilot drew a dick in the sky? But it looks like this one was very poorly planned. I mean the balls don’t even match up! Can we show that?

Come on sing it with me! So I owe it all to the penis in the sky… penis in the sky!!! That’s where I’m gonna ejaculate when I die… when I die!!! I could do this all day! But did the Navy really have to ground the whole damn crew just for one stunt? I guess that’s what we call a… dick move?

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A US Navy air crew was grounded on Friday after using their advanced fighter jet to draw a giant image of a penis in the sky with the exhaust, officials said.

The incident took place in skies over Okanogan County in Washington state on Thursday, when a Navy E/A-18 Growler warplane flew the unusual air pattern.

Images of a condensed air trail in the shape of a penis immediately went viral on social media. A local television station said one mother in Okanogan County was concerned she might have to explain them to her young children.
http://www.businessinsider.com/r-us-navy-crew-grounded-after-pilot-draws-penis-in-the-sky-2017-11

Excuse me a minute… dick move!!!!!!!! So this was a practical joke that went bad, and apparently that type of thing doesn’t fly in the Navy. And hey that’s a double pun, damn it!

Okanogan residents told The Spokesman-Review that they saw the male genitalia deliberately being drawn in the skies above their town by a jet around noon Thursday.

Images of the drawing were quickly posted to social media, residents said, and sent around town through text message.

The Naval Air Station in Whidbey Island has claimed responsibility for the drawing, calling it “unacceptable” and “of zero training value.”

The base’s public affairs office on Friday referred questions to the Navy’s Pacific Fleet headquarters in San Diego, where Lt. Cmdr. Leslie Hubbell said the crew involved in the sky-drawing would be held accountable.
http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2017/nov/16/military-says-zero-tolerance-for-pilot-who-traced-/

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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You know what time it is? It’s time for this!

Yes – by now you should know that people are people, and people are dumb. And who’s stupid this week? Why it’s idiots with guns! And when a gun accidentally goes off, can you be surprised at all that there’s no good guys with guns to stop the shootings from happening? Well, we go to the Volunteer State, Tennessee for this insane story.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — A man accidentally shot himself and his wife at an east Tennessee church on Thursday while he was showing off his gun during a discussion on recent church shootings, police said.

A man in his 80s pulled out a .380 caliber Ruger handgun and said, "I carry my handgun everywhere," according to Parks.

He removed the magazine, cleared the chamber, and showed the gun to some of the men in the church. He put the magazine back in, apparently loaded a round in the chamber, and returned the gun to its holster, Parks said.

"Evidently he just forgot that he re-chambered the weapon," Parks said.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/11/16/two-accidentally-shot-church-while-discussing-church-shootings/873053001/

Next in People Are Dumb – the movie Borat. Yeah it’s been 10 years since that movie was in the theaters, and frat boy idiots and comedians like me *STILL* quote that movie. But if you ever actually go to Kazakhstan, maybe don’t do this! I hear they hate that movie in Kazakhstan.

(PRAGUE) — Six Czech tourists who dressed up in skimpy swimsuits made famous by Sacha Baron Cohen’s “Borat” have reportedly been detained by authorities in Kazakhstan’s capital Astana.

Sporting lime green “mankinis” and black wigs, the men had hoped to take a picture in front of the “I Love Astana” sign.

But local police took action, detaining them on Friday and fining them 22,500 tenge ($68) each for committing minor hooliganism, according to the Kazakh news website informburo.kz.
http://time.com/5026484/tourists-detained-borat-kazakhstan/

Oh and by the way, Sascha Cohen himself offered to pay the guys' legal fees in Kazakhstan, which only fueled the local's hatred for the movie!

Sacha Baron Cohen has volunteered to come to the rescue of six tourists in Kazakhstan, who were arrested for wearing “mankini” swimsuits made famous by the comedian in his 2006 movie Borat.

The Czech tourists were arrested and fined 22,500 tenge ($68) after posing for photographs in the skimpy green one-pieces in the Kazakh capital of Astana earlier this week.

Baron Cohen offered to foot the cost of their prank in a Nov. 21 Facebook post.

“To my Czech mates who were arrested. Send me your details and proof that it was you, and I’ll pay your fine,” the actor and comedian wrote , directing injuries to “arrestedforwearingyourmankini@gmail.com.”
http://time.com/5034568/borat-sacha-baron-cohen-mankini-kazakhstan/?xid=homepage

I love that e-mail address by the way! Next up – we go to Sweden for this one. And what do you think of when you think of Sweden? I know – Swedish meatballs! Man, I love a good plate of Swedish meatballs!

Swedish meatballs are always a welcome sight on the dinner table, but less so when 20 tonnes of them block the road in front of you.

This is the spectacle that faced unwary drivers on 15 November along the Skara-Lundsbrunn road in southwest Sweden, when icy evening conditions meant that the trailer of a lorry skidded into a ditch, taking the meatball mountain with it, Skara Lans Tidning reports.

The lorry itself remained on the road, but all the meatballs needed to be first offloaded onto the carriageway before the trailer could be hauled out of the ditch.

"The trailer was heavier than the lorry itself, and it is very slippery out there," police officer Tommy Emriksson told Swedish TV.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-42027986

Bork! Bork! Bork! Ah, I love the Swedish chef! Next up in People Are Dumb, we go to Utah, where this man is trying to get the name of a local high school’s mascot changed because of a truly bizarre reason!

The mythical namesake of Arizona's capital and biggest city has appeared in countless pieces of literature, on flags and in even comic books, but one Utah parent is concerned that the phoenix should not be the mascot of a new high school in his town.

Farmington High School is set to open in 2018. Kyle Fraughton, of Farmington, doesn't think phoenix should be the school's mascot because the word sounds similar to "penises" when pluralized.

Chris Williams, a district spokesman, said administrators remain confident students will mirror the reputation of the mascot.

"We don’t see anything about the plural version of phoenix having anything to do what’s going to be happening at the school or on the football field," he told Salt Lake City's Fox 13. "We think students are going to rise to the occasion."
http://www.azcentral.com/story/entertainment/people/2017/11/14/z-utah-school-mascot-phoenix-plural/861982001/

Next up in People Are Dumb – I can kind of see why conservatives make fun of liberals for needing safe spaces, and this one really doesn’t help. Is Steve Martin’s classic SNL bit about King Tut really *THAT* offensive? Well…

Steve Martin’s seminal “King Tut” sketch is being blasted as cultural appropriation by a group of students at a prestigious liberal arts college in Oregon after the classic "Saturday Night Live" parody was played in a humanities course.

The sketch, created by Martin in 1978 to parody the hysteria and commercialization surrounding a traveling Tutankhamun exhibit, has outraged students who say the sketch is the cultural equivalent of blackface because one of the side actors emerged from a sarcophagus with his face painted gold.

"That’s like somebody … making a song just littered with the n-word everywhere,” a member of the group, Reedies Against Racism, told The Atlantic. “The gold face of the saxophone dancer leaving its tomb is an exhibition of blackface.”

Students first took issue with the video when it was played during a humanities course, which is designed for students to “to engage in original, open-ended, critical inquiry.” Students said they should not be forced to take the course until different coursework is given because the sketch is racist.
http://www.newsweek.com/steve-martins-king-tut-sketch-causing-controversy-one-college-campus-717418

Yeah fucking seriously. I love Steve Martin, I’ve seen him perform this song live. And you know what? I wasn’t offended! Yeah don’t get offended people! Finally for People Are Dumb this week, psychopaths. Yes, psychopaths are a thing. Can you guess which musician is most popular with your average psychopath? Bet you didn’t think it was gonna be him did you!

A new study has found that psychopaths are more likely to enjoy the music of Justin Bieber.

The Washington Post reports of a recent study conducted by Pascal Wallisch, Psychology professor at New York University, and Nicole Leal, a recent NYU graduate.

The study tried to determine a correlation between music taste and psychopathy, with more than 190 NYU psychology students asked to rate their own level of psychopathy and then to rate tracks they were played.

Songs found to be more popular with those deemed more likely to be psychopaths included Bieber’s ‘What Do You Mean’, Eminem‘s ‘Lose Yourself’ and ‘No Diggity’ by Blackstreet.

Read more at http://www.nme.com/news/music/psychopaths-like-justin-bieber-2159358#GmxpW2e2QzAfg9Lv.99

[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #23: Saudi Arabia
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, in the last few weeks we’ve discovered that the Philippines is in the middle of a nasty civil war, India has a huge cyber crime problem, and Australia is a couple of steps away from making national gay marriage a reality. Here’s the tour schedule:

[font size="6"]Saudi Arabia[/font]

Welcome to the Middle East everybody! We’re hanging out in the Saudi Arabia capital of Riyadh, a place where Trump touched the magic orb. Yeah I don’t even know what this is but it’s pretty fucking weird. Oh , can I say the word “fuck” here? My producer is telling me it’s OK to do so. But look at all the fine Saudi gentlemen in the audience! Not a woman in sight! Can I joke about that? OK. Sorry, having a bit of a back and forth feud with my producer on what’s acceptable here. You know what’s not acceptable here unfortunately? Drinking. Yeah so we have to do this entry dry. But don’t worry, I’ve got some backup booze. So moving on. Saudi Arabia is the home of Mecca, the capital and holy city for the religion of Islam. It’s engrained in the Islamic tradition that all followers of the religion must make a pilgrimage to the holy city at least once in their lifetime. It’s also the home of the Great Mosque Of Mecca, and the great Mosque of, and I hope I am pronouncing this right – Al-Masjid an-Nabawi, a mosque that is believed to have been built by the prophet Muhammad. The capital Riyadh includes all sorts of museums and forts to visit. While other cities include Mecca, Jeddah, and of course the world’s largest airport that is being built in Riyadh. Aviation is a huge thing in the Arab worlds, because you guys are apparently the only ones who can afford those insane suites that are on most Middle Eastern airlines. But what else is the Arab holy country the home of? Well, if America doesn’t bomb the shit out of Iran, Saudi Arabia might beat us to it!

From the start, the case of the missing Lebanese prime minister strayed wildly from the mainstream of the Middle East's usual plots.

Everything that has followed Saad Hariri's sudden and reportedly forced resignation last week has struck the same startling tenor: his apparent house arrest, the Saudi Arabia-Lebanon mutual accusations of declaring war, the French president's sudden in-person intervention.

Hariri's first interview since all of this started was no exception.

Nearly 55 minutes into the interview Sunday, there was a mysterious man, caught briefly on camera, holding a piece of paper in Hariri's line of sight.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/lebanon-saad-hariri-saudi-arabia-1.4400464

No it’s not the end of the world yet. I mean we barely made it out alive from South Korea. Hey, I know who our president is, don’t get me wrong. But Saudi Arabia is in the midst of a purge – it’s locking its’ billionaire princes in prisons, and among them is billionaire investor and real life Goldmember, Prince Alwaweed Bin Talal:

On Nov. 5, Saudi authorities arrested dozens of the kingdom’s royal, political and business elite. Security forces sequestered princes, cabinet ministers and billionaires in Riyadh’s Ritz-Carlton, as the city’s private airport was shut down to prevent escape by private jet. The detainees face various charges of corruption issued by an all-powerful commission decreed by King Salman mere hours before the arrests and headed by his son, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman.

Among the detainees was Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, founder and owner of Kingdom Holding, global businessman, media mogul and one of the world’s wealthiest individuals. Alwaleed was joined in detention by Saleh Kamel, billionaire and owner of Dallah al-Baraka, and Walid al-Ibrahim, brother-in-law of the late King Fahd.

Since the Arab satellite revolution began in 1991, Saudi Arabia has increasingly dominated Arab television, radio, cinema, music and publishing. This month’s developments have serious implications for an already highly consolidated Arab media sphere.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2017/11/16/why-did-saudi-arabia-target-billionaire-media-tycoons-in-its-purge/

Well, you wouldn’t be far off! Because let’s go over the facts. First up is the fact that Saudi Arabia wants to become a major commodities player and it will stop at nothing to achieve that.

Saudi Arabia is on its way to becoming a meaningful influence on global commodity prices. It doesn’t produce a broad array of raw materials like the U.S. or China, and it’s not a consumer on the scale of its neighbor, the United Arab Emirates. Yet the economic and political developments in the kingdom have bullish ramifications for the commodity sector and for trade flow.

The need to bolster the economy: Saudi Arabia’s economy is driven almost entirely by petroleum, which accounts for almost 90 percent of revenue. Still, crude remains at almost half its mid-2014 price, leaving the kingdom desperate to fire up its economy to buttress plummeting gross domestic product. And it is on the road to doing so.
https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2017-11-15/saudi-arabia-is-set-to-become-a-bigger-commodities-player

The second is world domination – their next door neighbors are Isreal, who are in a seemingly never ending war, and Iran – who are also in a seemingly never ending war.

The head of Israel’s armed forces revealed Thursday he’s willing to work with fellow Middle Eastern U.S. ally Saudi Arabia to thwart the interests of their common foe, Iran, which has been vying for influence in the region.

In his first-ever interview with an Arabic-language newspaper, Lieutenant General Gadi Eisenkot, chief of staff of the Israeli military, said he viewed the majority-Jewish state and ultraconservative Sunni Muslim kingdom as natural allies due to their mutual enmity for revolutionary Shiite Muslim Iran. Israel has labeled Iran an existential threat, and Tehran’s growing influence across the Middle East and beyond has also outpaced Saudi Arabia’s own efforts to dominate the region, establishing an informal axis between the U.S., Israel and Saudi Arabia that’s gone largely unspoken until now.
www.newsweek.com/israel-says-wants-work-saudi-arabia-defeat-iran-713690

So yeah you have war on one side and greed on the other. Gotta love that country! Am I not right, guys? Yeah that’s it! So the catalyst for World War III may not be a Donald Trump presidency after all! Instead it’s a really fucked up chess game between Saudi Arabia, Isreal and Lebannon.

In Saudi Arabia, even chess is being turned into a game of power plays and palace intrigue.

Top players around the globe are accusing the World Chess Federation of “total moral degradation” for letting Saudi Arabia host this year's world speed championship. Around 150 players plan to boycott the event, known as the King Salman World Rapid and Blitz Chess Championships, over concerns that players could face human rights abuses in the ultra-conservative Sunni Muslim nation.
http://www.newsweek.com/saudi-arabia-chess-championships-boycott-713571

But then Saudi Arabia is playing chess with the whole Middle East! Yes – they are gearing up for a major war with Yemen – never mind the wars they are already in. holy shit, that sounds just like the USA doesn’t it? Holy shit, and I thought America was the warmongering capital of the world! But hey, they’re a peaceful country! Phrasing!

The greater Middle East has experienced unprecedented political turmoil and violence in the wake of the so-called Arab Spring. The political order as we knew it was upended in 2011 and the region has not yet fully recovered from that disruption.
The resulting political and humanitarian crises have been difficult to resolve, not only for the people most affected but also for their neighbors, and the wider international community. And while countries such as Saudi Arabia have used every means at their disposal to bring an end to the violence, resolve political disputes and alleviate human suffering, others have exploited the political and security vacuums that have emerged to advance their own narrow self-interests, at the expense of the people of these countries.
Non-state actors, militant organizations, terrorist groups and state actors who routinely violate the norms, conventions and laws of international relations by interfering in the domestic affairs of other nations and by adopting policies that destabilize other countries and entire regions are largely responsible for the continuing instability.
http://www.arabnews.com/node/1194016

Even Saudi Arabia’s origin story sounds like Satan is in charge. I mean talk about your fire and brimstone, this recent discovery was made!

Images taken from a helicopter flying at low altitude have shown in never-before-seen detail the mysterious neolithic structures dubbed the Saudi Arabian "Gates of Hell" and may shed more light on archaeological treasures yet to be uncovered in the Gulf kingdom.

The hundreds of 9,000-year-old structures initially baffled experts when they were seen in satellite imagery. The Stone Age walls, found built in volcanic fields in Saudi Arabia’s remote Harrat Khaybar region, were named the Gates Of Hell because their short, thick connecting piles of brick resembled barred gates when viewed from above.
http://www.newsweek.com/saudi-arabia-gates-hell-new-images-reveal-secrets-ancient-mystery-structures-712300

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

So I would say how I feel about Saudi Arabia, but in the interest of leaving this country with all my limbs in tact I will say:

Tourism: A
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: A
Liberal Appeal: A

Overall: A+

Now that we’re back in the states, I can tell you how I really feel:

Tourism: C
Culture: B-
Political Spectrum: F
Liberal Appeal: F

Overall: F-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

We’ve got one more stop in the Middle East – we’re hanging out in Saudi Arabia’s next door neighbor, the UAE! With a live show from the world’s largest building, the Burj Al Dubai!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Queens Of The Stone Age[/font]

Ladies and… oh wait, I forget there aren’t any ladies in the audience tonight. Gentlemen, my next guest has one of 2017’s best albums. They are from a California desert town called “Palm Springs”. It’s called “Villains”. Playing their song “The Way You Used To Do”, give it up for Queens Of The Stone Age!

Wait – they want to stick around for one more? Sure!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! See you next week! If we still live through this week that is!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Management
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
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Saudi Arabia Hosting: Al’Anjari Productions, Riyadh
Queens Of The Stone Age Appear Courtesy Of: Matador Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10: @DUInitechTop10

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

November 20, 2017

New York Times Compiled A Complete List Of Sexual Harassment Allegations Since Weinstein

Damn this is insane.

November 17, 2017

Rick Wiles: There Is A New Nazism Rising In America That Is Dedicated To Killing Christians

End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles dedicated his television program last night to urgently warning Christians that a “new Nazism” is emerging in America that will push them into ghettos and kill them.

“There is a hatred of Christianity,” Wiles warned. “The homosexuals, the leftists, the socialists, the communists, the deep state in Washington, they hate [the Bible], they’re going to team up with the Muslims, you’re going to have an alliance of God-haters that are coming together to form a new Nazism in America.”

“Right now, what we are experiencing is what the Jews experienced in the ’30s and early ’40s in Nazi Germany,” he continued. “That spirit of Nazism slaughtered millions of Jews, that spirit in here in America. Let me tell you something, it’s going to be different this time. The Christians are going to be rounded up.”

Warning that Christians are going to be ostracized and pushed into a “digital ghetto” as their rights are methodically stripped away, Wiles declared that “the ultimate desire of these people in America right now that are in high places of power in this country, the ultimate desire is to kill you. Listen to what I am saying. They are coming for you, they plan to destroy you, they plan to destroy the church, they hate Jesus Christ, they hate you, they hate your children and they are coming for you.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rick-wiles-there-is-a-new-nazism-rising-in-america-that-is-dedicated-to-killing-christians/

Holy crap, these people are fucking nuts!!!!

November 17, 2017

How Four Countries Were Able To Eliminate Gun Deaths

Australia paid citizens to sell their guns to the government.

Following a deadly 1980s and '90s, culminating in a 1996 gun-driven massacre that left 35 dead, Australian Prime Minister John Howard convened an assembly to devise gun-control strategies.

The group landed on a massive buyback program costing roughly $500 million that bought and destroyed more than 600,000 automatic and semiautomatic weapons and pump-action shotguns.

<snip>

Japan puts citizens through a rigorous set of tests.

Japan seldom has more than 10 shooting deaths a year in a population of 127 million people, due to its strict laws for obtaining firearms.

If Japanese people want to own a gun, they must attend an all-day class, pass a written test, and achieve at least 95% accuracy during a shooting-range test. Then they have to pass a mental-health evaluation, which takes place at a hospital, and pass a background check, in which the government digs into their criminal record and interviews friends and family.

<snip>

Norway exemplifies the power of social cohesion and trust.

Despite having roughly a third of the guns as the US, Norway has about a tenth of the gun deaths. Sociologists who study the Nordic model have found social cohesion, between citizens and between citizens and their government, goes a long way toward ensuring a (mostly) peaceful society.

In Norway, for example, police officers fatally shoot people fewer times in nine years than US police do in a day. Gummi Oddsson, a cross-cultural sociologist from Northern Michigan University, has found that Nordic governments go to great lengths to build trust in local communities.

<snip>

The UK took a multi-pronged approach.

The UK has taken an approach that combines elements of the other three countries.

Around the time Australia passed its gun regulation, Parliament passed legislation banning private handgun ownership in Britain and banned semi-automatic and pump-action firearms throughout the entire UK. It also required shotgun owners to register their weapons.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/these-4-countries-have-nearly-eliminated-gun-deaths-%e2%80%94-heres-what-the-us-can-learn/ss-BBF0xCM?li=BBnb7Kz#image=5

I'm not sure I would agree with the guy in Norway about the community policing idea. That seems like it would give fuel to the ultra paranoid. But I think the US could easily do a combination of all of the above.

November 17, 2017

Germany Officially Replaces US As Country With Best Brand Image

Germany has replaced the United States as the country with the best "brand image," according to a new study of 50 countries released Thursday.
The Nation Brands Index (NBI) survey by German-based market research firm GfK and the British political consultant Simon Anholt measured public opinion around the world on "the power and quality of each country's 'brand image.'"
Germany moved up to first place after coming in second in 2016. The U.S. dropped from top to sixth, with France, Britain, Canada and Japan taking spots two to five.

The study calculated the final NBI score by researching how well people viewed a country across six categories: Its people, governance, exports, tourism, investment and immigration and culture and heritage.
The land of sausages, Angela Merkel and "Made in Germany" was in the top five for all but one category. Only in "tourism" did Germany fall outside the top five, coming in tenth.
German Foreign Minister Sigmar Gabriel welcomed the results, saying: "Germany's image no longer rests on our economic strength. People think we're capable of much in the world."

Foreigners' views of the US worsened considerably compared to 2016, particularly in the category "governance," where it slipped from spot 19 to spot 23.
The "Trump effect" explains the fall, according to Anholt.
"The loss of the U.S.'s image in the governance category is indicative of the Trump effect, which was triggered by President Trump's policies and his 'America First' message," he said.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/ouch-this-country-replaces-us-as-country-with-the-best-image/ar-BBF3iAc?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartandhp

MAGA!!!

November 15, 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-22: You Cant Always Grope Who You Want Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-22: You Can’t Always Grope Who You Want Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Be sure to join our Top 10 Rewards Program for exciting offers and benefits from our local partners! Oh god I hope it doesn’t come to that. We are back everybody! And whew, what a week it’s been! You know I'd like to first issue a formal apology this week. Yeah it's rare that we actually start the show this way. But I feel that I must apologize to someone who's been kind of a running joke throughout the Top 10. So I'm not usually good at this sort of thing but here it goes. Gwenyth Paltrow and GOOP, I'm sorry. Because we make fun of you for hawking overpriced and completely unnecessary crap to the masses. Well, I feel I can no longer make fun of GOOP because there's someone that has officially topped Gwen and her rich friends for selling that kind of crap. It's the famous New York City department store Tiffany's. Thank you sound effects guy! It's the same Tiffanys that was made famous by Audrey Hepburn, and the song, movie, merchandise, everything. And it is famous for hawking overpriced stuff to rich people who may have more money than god, Jesus, Buddah, Allah, Krishna, Confucius, and Muhammad combined. So what are they offering, you might ask? Well I answer you good sirs and madams! This week - they're hawking $1,000 tin cans. Yes, the same thing you can buy at a store for less than $1.00, they're literally charging a 10,000% markup! Can we get a shot of that?

https://twitter.com/IvyKungu/status/927375127326674944

That's right - in addition to the $1,000 tin can there's also the $1500 coffee can. Hey! We have one of those in the green room (sorry, we're cheap here), and since it's already been used, it can be yours for the low low price of $799! That's only a 5000% markup! There's also the $9,000 ball of yarn. You know, in case your rich cat lady friend isn't pretentious enough. So Gwen, you are no longer officially the chief hawker of overpriced crap. And if you want the same body-poisining supplements that GOOP provides, just go to the Infowars store! You get the added bonus of lead poisoning! That’s enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to get to this week. But first, John Oliver had his season finale this week and recaps the year in review so far, and what a batshit crazy year it’s been and we still have a month left!

In the top 2 spots this week is Roy Moore (1, 2). Boy the shit really hit the fan in the Alabama senate elections and Roy Moore may finally have met his match with molestation accusations! And the GOP are stepping up to defend their champion moral crusader. In the third slot this week is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III because his lies stink like that two year old expired box of Omaha Steaks in your freezer. In the fourth slot, we’re going to recap Trump’s insane trip to China and the end of the second leg of his World Deplorable Tour 2017. At number 5 is also Donald Trump. So while you weren’t looking, some engineering firms built samples of Trump’s “amazing wall” and we’re going to do one of our signature deep dives on this subject. At number 6 is our weekly sermon on all things holy as we recap all the insanity on the Christian right in “Holy Shit”. But this week we’re particularly focusing on their reaction to the Roy Moore shit show. In the number 7 slot is Sean Hannity (7). Don’t think I am not going to let him get away without talking about the insanity surrounding the Alt Right’s insane Keurig protest. At number 8 is the Alt Right (8). So last week we reported that the Sandy Hooking of the Texas tragedy has begun. And the alt right is going batshit crazy again. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week we’ve got another installment of “People Are Dumb” because, well, people are dumb. Finally this week its’ more of the Top 10 World Tour (10). This time around we get to hang out in the Land Down Under! I’m of course talking about the land of kangaroos, Crocodile Dundee, the Sydney Opera House and the Great Barrier Reef as we visit scenic Australia! Yay! Oh the kids love Australia, don’t they? Plus we have some live music for you – this time from one of Australia’s premier bands, King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard! Yes, they have not one, not two but 3 albums this year! Plus they have more coming! How do they do it? Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Roy Moore
[br] [/font] [br]

So if you’re keeping score at home – so far the members of the White Male Groper’s Club has mainly included some of Hollywood’s elite actors, comedians, producers and directors. So far the only politician who’s been included in the mix is Anthony Weiner. Although come on let’s face it, what he did wasn’t exactly elite – he just showed a picture of his penis on a phone. Well, leave it to the republicans to not only top that, they’re being complete dicks about it!

Leigh Corfman says she was 14 years old when an older man approached her outside a courtroom in Etowah County, Ala. She was sitting on a wooden bench with her mother, they both recall, when the man introduced himself as Roy Moore.

It was early 1979 and Moore — now the Republican nominee in Alabama for a U.S. Senate seat — was a 32-year-old assistant district attorney. He struck up a conversation, Corfman and her mother say, and offered to watch the girl while her mother went inside for a child custody hearing.

“He said, ‘Oh, you don’t want her to go in there and hear all that. I’ll stay out here with her,’ ” says Corfman’s mother, Nancy Wells, 71. “I thought, how nice for him to want to take care of my little girl.”

Alone with Corfman, Moore chatted with her and asked for her phone number, she says. Days later, she says, he picked her up around the corner from her house in Gadsden, drove her about 30 minutes to his home in the woods, told her how pretty she was and kissed her. On a second visit, she says, he took off her shirt and pants and removed his clothes. He touched her over her bra and underpants, she says, and guided her hand to touch him over his underwear.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/woman-says-roy-moore-initiated-sexual-encounter-when-she-was-14-he-was-32/2017/11/09/1f495878-c293-11e7-afe9-4f60b5a6c4a0_story.html?tid=ss_tw&utm_term=.888b5a9629bf

That’s right – Roy Moore, the guy who is the righteous champion of all things holy and staunch defender of the… *cue reverb*… SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE!!! Ooh, that was some good reverb there! And he is nothing more than a common perverted child molester. And guess what? The GOP is standing by their groper. I mean after all, you can’t spell the word “groper” without GOP!

Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore holds a 10-point lead over his Democratic opponent, according to a new poll.

The Emerson College survey found that Moore has the support of 55 percent of the Alabama voters polled, compared to 45 percent for the Democratic nominee, Doug Jones.

The poll was conducted from Nov. 9 to Nov. 11, after The Washington Post published its report in which a woman accused Moore of initiating sexual contact with her in 1979, when she was 14 and he was 32.

The poll does show improvement for Jones from the last survey conducted in September. That survey gave Moore a 22-point advantage.

Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/360121-poll-moore-leads-jones-by-10-points

Come on, we haven’t even got to Holy Shit yet! At least save the Jesus facepalms for later! But seriously – here’s where our good old fashioned fire and brimstone American religion has failed us. There are now 53 pastors across the state of Alabama who are approving of Roy Moore’s behavior! They support child molestation. I repeat: 53 pastors now approve of child molestation!

More than 50 Alabama pastors have signed a letter supporting Republican Senate nominee Roy Moore in the wake of sexual misconduct allegations.

Moore's wife Kayla posted the letter to her Facebook page Sunday after days of controversy surrounding her husband and allegations he had sexual contact with a 14-year-old in 1979 when he was 32-years-old. Three other women said Moore pursued them as teenagers.

Moore denies the charges.

In their letter, the pastors said Moore was an "immovable rock in the culture wars," and has met attacks with a "rare unconquerable resolve."

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/11/53_pastors_sign_letter_of_supp.html#incart_river_home

You know what? Fuck your damn culture war! This is children we are talking about, and creepy old fucking weirdos seducing them! Do the right thing for once! I mean really, you can’t spell the word “groper” without “GOP!” But would you be surprised to learn that this might have been a forgery? Hey Christians! Wouldn’t this count as “bearing false witness”?

Kayla Moore, wife of Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore, shared a letter on Facebook over the weekend indicating support from more than 50 Alabama pastors. Not all the pastors said they gave permission for their name to be be used on what appears to be a recycled letter from before the GOP primary, however.

Moore's wife Kayla posted the letter to her Facebook page Sunday after days of controversy surrounding her husband and allegations he had sexual contact with a 14-year-old in 1979 when he was 32-years-old. Three other women said Moore pursued them as teenagers. The letter was posted before a fifth woman, Beverly Young Nelson, came forward with additional charges Monday.
http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/11/53_pastors_sign_letter_of_supp.html

Oh and *ANOTHER* accuser has come forward! This is putting Roy Moore in Herbert The Pervert territory, and I thought he didn’t like competition!

"An Alabama woman is expected to disclose allegations of sexual assault against Roy Moore during a press conference today in New York.

New York Attorney Gloria Allred is holding a press conference at 1:30 p.m. CST (2:30 p.m. EST) with the new accuser, whose name hasn't been made public. The woman alleges that Moore, Alabama's Republican candidate for U.S. Senate, assaulted her when she was a minor.

"The new accuser wishes to state what she alleges Roy Moore did to her without her consent," a news release from the lawyer states."
http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/11/roy_moore_alabama_sex_claims.html#incart_river_mobileshort_home

Ooh, I like that one! Seriously the GOP can’t stand that one of their own is now a member of the White Male Groper’s Club! It must be driving them completely insane! So is there anyone left defending Mr. Moore?

Some conservatives are destroying their Keurig coffee machines in protest of the company pulling ads from Sean Hannity's show over his coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations levied at Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore.

Keurig, Realtor.com, 23 and Me, Eloquii and Nature's Bounty all pulled their ads from the television show, in response to the Fox host urging viewers not to rush to judgment against Moore.

On social media, many used the hashtag #BoycottKeurig to slam the company for pulling its ads. Some posted videos of themselves smashing their Keurig machines and others vowed never to use the coffee maker again.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/nation-now/2017/11/13/people-destroying-their-keurig-coffee-makers-after-company-pulls-ads-hannity-fox-show/857563001/

Bet you didn’t think it was gonna be him did you? And you think you’re so smart! We’re going to talk about this more later in the show, but we’ll end this entry with this clip because I feel it’s fitting!

[font size="8"]Roy Moore
[br] [/font] [br]

Come on sing it with me!

You can’t always grope who you want. You can’t always grope who you want. You can’t always grope who you want. But if you try some times, you might find… some pussy!!! Ooooooo!!!!!! Thank you! So Roy Moore and the Christian right and their god awful “culture war” that they are the only ones convinced they are fighting, are the very reason why we can’t have nice things. As we already pointed out, the Christian right is doing nothing to denounce this mad man and will most likely make him a senator. Yeah let that sink in. So here’s how batshit insane the religious right is:

Nearly 40 percent of Alabama evangelicals say in a new poll that they are more likely to vote for GOP Senate candidate Roy Moore after allegations of sexual misconduct arose against him.

A JMC analytics poll finds 37 percent of the evangelicals surveyed say the allegations against Moore make them more likely to vote for the GOP Senate candidate in the upcoming election.

Just 28 percent say the allegations made them less likely to vote for Moore and 34 percent said the allegations made no difference in their decision.

In all, 29 percent of respondents in the poll said the allegations against Moore would make them more likely to vote for him, compared to 38 percent overall who say the allegations would make them less likely to support Moore.

Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/360010-poll-37-percent-of-alabama-evangelicals-more-likely-to-vote-for-moore-after

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Really, I’d like to tell them where they can shove this bullshit “culture war”. Although I already did! Moving on! Moving on! So you might want to rethink your senate campaign decisions, there, Alabama GOP. How about a write in candidate?

The chairwoman of the Republican Party of Alabama on Sunday cautioned against supporting a write-in candidate in next month’s Senate race as concerns in the party grow over allegations of sexual misconduct against Roy Moore.

“It would be a serious error for any current elected GOP official or candidate to publicly endorse another party’s candidate, an independent, a third party or a write in candidate in a general election as well,” Terry Lathan told the Alabama Political Reporter.

“I have heard of no GOP elected official or candidate that is even considering this option.”

There has been increasing talk of a write-in campaign since The Washington Post published last week a report containing allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior against Moore, the Republican nominee in the Senate race.

http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/360114-alabama-gop-chair-warns-party-officials-against-write-in-campaign

OK so that doesn’t work! Or maybe you are Roy Moore yourself. Ah, who am I kidding? There’s no one in my audience who’s a wannabe cowboy with a shit eating grin is there? Is there? Well, how about your good friend – the lawsuit?

(CNN)Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore says he will sue the Washington Post over its report alleging he pursued sexual relationships with teenagers -- including a 14-year-old -- when he was in his 30s.
"The Washington Post published another attack on my character and reputation because they are desperate to stop my political campaign. These attacks said I was with a minor child and are false and untrue -- and for which they will be sued," Moore said Sunday night during a campaign speech in Huntsville, Alabama.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/13/politics/roy-moore-washington-post-lawsuit/index.html

Oh come on, Roy! What attack on your character? You’re just a creepy old southern white dude with a god complex who’s part of a “good old boys” club! You’re just doing what your friends in said club would do – have sex with underage girls! Now *THIS* is putting Roy way past the Good Old Boys club into creepy Herbert The Pervert territory!

Greg Legat, who is now fifty-nine and living in East Gadsden, was, from 1981 to 1985, an employee at the Record Bar, a store that was in the Gadsden Mall. By the early eighties, Legat told me, the mall was “the place to be. There were no empty stores. And lots of kids came around. Lots of teen-agers. You went there to see and be seen.” Legat met his wife, Jo Anne, there. She worked at a restaurant called Orange Bowl. Legat remembers that parents dropped their kids off at the mall, typically unchaperoned. Teens filled the place.

Legat says that he saw Moore there a few times, even though his understanding then was that he had already been banned. “It started around 1979, I think,” Legat said. “I know the ban was still in place when I got there.” Legat recalled a Gadsden police officer named J. D. Thomas, now retired, who worked security at the mall. “J. D. was a fixture there, when I was working at the store,” Legat said. “He really looked after the kids there. He was a good guy. J. D. told me, ‘If you see Roy, let me know. He’s banned from the mall.’ ” Legat recalled Thomas telling him, “If you see Moore here, tell me. I’ll take care of him.’ ” Legat said that his boss, Eddie Hill, also told him to look for Moore. A phone call to Hill’s number was not returned.
https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/locals-were-troubled-by-roy-moores-interactions-with-teen-girls-at-the-gadsden-mall?mbid=social_twitter

You know what’s really creepy? Someone gets paid to write for that character! So what if you’re the Senate? How do you do some major damage control on this whole thing? I believe this is what we call a circular firing squad!

WASHINGTON (AP) — A new accuser said Monday that as a teenager in the 1970s she was sexually assaulted by Roy Moore in a locked car, further rocking the Alabama Republican's race for an open Senate seat. The allegation came on day when Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Moore should quit the contest, and Moore fired back that it was McConnell who should step down.

Even before the news conference by Beverly Young Nelson, Moore's campaign released a statement saying that attorney Gloria Allred — who's representing Nelson — "is a sensationalist leading a witch hunt." It said Moore is innocent and "has never had any sexual misconduct with anyone."

In tears, Nelson said in New York that when she was 16, Moore offered her a ride home from the restaurant where she worked. She accused him of touching her breasts and locking the door to keep her inside his car. She said he squeezed her neck while trying to push her head toward his crotch and tried to pull her shirt off.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/moore-threatens-lawsuit-over-story-threatens-campaign-085807565--election.html

Yeah… it’s kind of like that! But guess what? He ain’t going anywhere, folks! Oh, this thing just got a whole lot messier especially with a new accuser coming down the pike. But the GOP just can’t see through that one of their own is a creepy fucking pervert! What does it take?

WASHINGTON — A fifth woman accused Roy S. Moore, the Republican Senate candidate in Alabama, on Monday of making sexual or romantic advances toward her when she was a teenager, as senior Republicans in Washington called for him to drop out of the race and threatened to expel him from the Senate if he wins.

The new accuser, Beverly Young Nelson, told a news conference in New York that Mr. Moore attacked her when she was 16 and he was a prosecutor in Etowah County, Ala. Ms. Nelson was represented at the news conference by Gloria Allred, a lawyer who has championed victims of sexual harassment.

“I tried fighting him off, while yelling at him to stop, but instead of stopping, he began squeezing my neck attempting to force my head onto his crotch,” Ms. Nelson said in a statement she issued at the news conference. She said Mr. Moore warned her that “no one will believe you” if she told anyone about the encounter in his car.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/13/us/politics/roy-moore-alabama-senate.html

[font size="8"]Jeff Sessions
[br] [/font] [br]

So I was originally going to talk about Infowars in this entry but I don’t have to now! Yay! Thank you to our esteemed Attorney General and Kate McKinnon impersonator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, esquire. For you have saved me!! Why? Because Jeff Sessions lies so much, his lies have their own undertones – much like a fine wine, or that box of Omaha Steaks your clients gave you that’s been sitting in your freezer for the last two years. You’ve been meaning to cook them, damn it!

So what’s Mr. I’m Too Southern lying about this week? Well…

Sessions: I don’t recall Russia reports, but I shot down Trump-Putin meeting.

Mr. Sessions denied that he lied in October when he testified that he knew of nobody in the Trump campaign who had contacts with Russians during the presidential campaign. “And I don’t believe it happened,” he said.

Court records later revealed that Mr. Sessions led a March 2016 meeting in which George Papadopoulos, a campaign aide, discussed his Russian ties and suggested setting up a meeting between Mr. Trump. and Vladimir V. Putin, the Russian president.

“I had no recollection of this meeting until I saw these news reports,” Mr. Sessions said.

Mr. Sessions testified Tuesday that was still hazy on the details about what Mr. Papadopoulos had proposed.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/14/us/politics/jeff-sessions-congress-russia.html

Well fucking duh! Of course he’s going to lie! That’s what compulsive liars like Sessions do! They lie so much their lies have their own character and body to them. How much does the shit stink, you might ask yourself? Well the answer good sir / madam is this:

Washington (CNN)President Donald Trump's repeated public comments attacking the Justice Department have not influenced the department or ongoing investigations, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said Tuesday during a contentious House judiciary committee hearing.

Sessions said although his Justice Department will consider investigations into Hillary Clinton, he could not say whether he would recuse himself from the matter, contradicting his previous statements on the matter. He said there was not yet enough evidence of impropriety to merit assigning a new special counsel.

"You can have your idea but sometimes we have to study what the facts are and to evaluate whether it meets the standard that requires a special counsel," Sessions told Rep. Jim Jordan, R-Ohio. "'Looks like' is not enough basis to appoint a special counsel," the attorney general later added.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/14/politics/sessions-hearing-mueller-papadopoulos-clinton/index.html

Dude, here’s an experiment for all you science loving Top 10 fans – take a Jeff Sessions lie, any lie, take one and let it ferment like a good home brew, or again, that box of Omaha Steaks that’s been sitting in your freezer for the last two years. I don’t even have a working grill, damn it! Well, just like that two year old box of Omaha Steaks, if you peel back the layers, you will find something very disgusting sitting underneath, like this:

We know President Trump during the campaign publicly encouraged the Russians to hack and release Hillary Clinton’s emails. We know he referenced the WikiLeaks email dump 145 times in the closing days of the campaign. We also know that Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner and then-campaign chairman Paul Manafort met with Russians in June 2016 with the promise of “dirt” on Hillary Clinton, and we have learned that campaign adviser George Papadopoulos had extensive contacts with Russian officials that included discussion of “dirt” on Clinton. To say that there is no evidence of collusion, then, would be one more big lie in a series of big lies the administration has deployed to defend itself in the Russia investigation that threatens to sink this presidency. But in case all of that were not enough to constitute “collusion” (which is not a legal term), The Post reports:

Trump’s eldest son exchanged private messages with WikiLeaks during the presidential campaign at the same time the website was publishing hacked emails from Democratic officials, according to correspondence made public Monday. Donald Trump Jr. did not respond to many of the notes, which were sent using the direct message feature on Twitter. But he alerted senior advisers on his father’s campaign, including his brother-in-law, Jared Kushner, according to two people familiar with the exchanges.

In the messages, WikiLeaks urged Trump Jr. to promote its trove of hacked Democratic emails and suggested that President Trump challenge the election results if he did not win, among other ideas. They were first reported by the Atlantic and later posted by Trump Jr. on Twitter.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/donald-trump-jr-communicated-with-wikileaks-during-2016-campaign/2017/11/13/947e64d4-c8

So you say there was no collusion, yet Trump’s own son colluded with Wikileaks and Lord Of The Trolls, Julian Assange! So we’ve removed the 2 year old steaks from their containers, now let’s peel off the wrapper and see what’s underneath that!! Speaking of Wikileaks!

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange went public Tuesday with his pitch to Donald Trump Jr., saying his election-year offer to be an ambassador to the U.S. as an advocate for whistleblowers is still on the table.

Trump Jr. has given his private Twitter correspondences with WikiLeaks over to lawmakers investigating Russian interference in the 2016 election. Some of those correspondences leaked to the Atlantic on Monday, so Trump Jr. released them on Twitter.

WikiLeaks, which published emails stolen from the Democratic National Committee and Hillary Clinton’s campaign chairman John Podesta before last year’s election, pushed Trump Jr. in the private messages to tweet out links to their work and to check out some of the campaign dirt that they’d come across.

Trump Jr. did not respond to most of the messages from WikiLeaks, but the contact has only added to the scrutiny surrounding the Trump campaign and possible ties to Russia.
http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/360291-wikileaks-to-trump-jr-our-offer-of-being-ambassador-to-the-us

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

You know is Donald Trump following us? Or maybe when I put together our World Tour schedule, I was a psychic! Just maybe a week off. We’re in China, he’s in China! We’re in the Philippines, he’s in the Philippines. And yes – he’s with his wannabe BFF, Rodrigo Duterte! You know back to Sean Hannity fans boycotting Keurigs. Here’s the craziest part of this whole thing – they seem to think that’s offensive! Yes, this is somehow offensive!

https://twitter.com/CollinRugg/status/929777702537543681

Nah. You're just an idiot who destroyed a $300 coffee maker. You know what's more offensive? This.

President Rodrigo Duterte crooned a hit Filipino love song at a dinner in Manila for leaders from across Asia, explaining later that it was “on the orders of Donald Trump”.

The US president and Duterte were among 19 leaders at a gala in the Philippines capital on Sunday before the annual Association of Southeast Asian Nations (Asean) summit. At one point Duterte took the microphone to sing Ikaw (You), in a duet with local pop diva Pilita Corrales.

One of the song’s verses, translated from Filipino, begins: “You are the light in my world, a half of this heart of mine.”
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/13/you-are-the-light-philippines-duterte-sings-love-song-for-trump

Yes - that's the mass murdering dictator of the Philippines rekindling his bromance with Trump by serenading him with the Filipino equivalent of "I Want To Know What Love Is". Now *THAT* is fucking offensive! Thank you! But there’s more to this trip than just the wrong and very disturbing bromance between Trump and Duterte.

Washington (CNN)Before their bilateral meeting in Manila on Monday, President Donald Trump and Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte posed for pictures. Reporters were late for what is known as the "pool spray" because, according to the pool report of the meeting, they were held up by security.
When they finally got into the room, reporters asked questions of the two leaders regarding Duterte's controversial human rights record and whether Trump would raise it with him. Here's what happened next:
Duterte: "We will be discussing matters that are of interest to both the Philippines and ... with you around, guys, you are the spies."
"Hah, hah, hah," Trump said laughing.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/13/politics/trump-duterte-press/index.html

Yeah because mass murderers like Duterte will often joke about things that might be considered crimes against humanity to others. Kind of like when you’re playing the latest Mario game and Bowser has a good laugh over the destruction of the Mushroom Kingdom. Yeah never mind that thousands of innocents are dying, let’s all have a good gut laugh about it! I mean because if you can’t laugh at yourself you’re not much of a person, right?

MANILA — President Trump said on Monday that he had a “great relationship” with President Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines, making little mention of human rights at his first face-to-face meeting with an authoritarian leader accused of carrying out a campaign of extrajudicial killings in his nation’s war on drugs.

In a stark break from past practice by American presidents, who have pressed foreign leaders publicly and privately about allegations of human rights abuses, Mr. Trump instead pursued his own transactional style of diplomacy, dwelling mostly on areas of common ground during his meeting with Mr. Duterte. On the sideline of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations summit meeting, Mr. Trump focused on combating the Islamic State and illegal drugs as well as on trade issues, the White House said.

“Human rights briefly came up in the context of the Philippines’ fight against illegal drugs,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/13/world/asia/trump-duterte-philippines.html

I have a great relationship with the Philippines, OK! Unbelievable! Totally! The best! You know what can we show that tweet there?

https://twitter.com/The_UnSilent_/status/930079538184441856

Holy shit! Even his smile is psychotic! I mean how is that possible? That is the smile of a guy who looks like he gets joy from kicking puppies and taking candy from babies! Oh and by the way , way to bury the lead there from Trump spokesperson, and woman whose couch and clothing are most likely covered in cat hair, Sarah Huckabee Sanders! Because this shit is happening and Trump just stands there and smiles psychotically!

Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has sanctioned a bloody drug war that features extrajudicial killing. He called Barack Obama a "son of a whore." This week, he boasted that he murdered a man with his own hands.

All that went unmentioned in public by President Donald Trump when the leaders held talks Monday in the Philippines.

Reporters saw the beginning of the leaders' bilateral meeting in during which Trump praised Duterte's hospitality, the organization of the summit he was hosting and even Manila's weather. Trump said nothing about human rights and both leaders ignored shouted questions about the violent drug crackdown. The two men also shared a laugh in the meeting when Duterte called reporters "spies."
https://www.cnbc.com/2017/11/13/trump-does-not-publicly-rebuke-duterte-for-drug-war-killings.html

Trump is like this:

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

So while Trump is on the second leg of his World Deplorable Tour 2017, let’s talk about some issues back home. Like remember the border wall? Did anyone else forget about that? You know how Trump promised that he was going to build a massive border wall – “It’s gonna be the greatest wall ever, OK? And Mexico is going to pay for it all!”. So how does one begin acquiring land for this job? Well, if you guessed illegally, you are correct!

Washington (CNN)Although approval for a new border wall has yet to come, the Trump administration has taken subtle steps to be able to seize land to build one, including by restarting litigation that has laid dormant for years against landowners, according to a new report from Senate Democrats.
Roughly two-thirds of the US-Mexico border runs through private or state-owned lands, meaning the federal government would need to purchase, seize or seek permission to use land in order to build a border wall. Based on efforts a decade ago to build border fencing, that process is likely to cost the government millions and could take years of complex litigation.
And it appears the administration is gearing up for it.
Democrats on the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee produced a report on eminent domain and a border wall on Monday, citing the administration's lack of clarity about what would be required to build President Donald Trump's proposed wall.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/13/politics/border-wall-eminent-domain/index.html

Yeah I think everyone’s hopes are deleted at least for the time being. But you know the border wall was one of Trump’s biggest campaign promises. So he’s fulfilling one end of it illegally. How’s he fulfilling the other end?

Documents obtained by the Observer offer new insights into the Trump administration’s plans for a border wall in portions of the Rio Grande Valley. A map produced in May by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers shows where the administration expects to build 33 miles of wall in 15 different segments, including portions that would tear through three wildlife areas. The documents also reveal a rating system the administration is using to rank the difficulty of building each segment, based on the topography and the legal difficulty of taking over the land.

“Nice RV park, many retirees live there permanently,” reads the entry for a nearly 2-mile segment that would cut off the Chimney Park RV Resort, the historic La Lomita Chapel and the Riverside Club, a popular hangout for winter Texans. “Western half of segment will impacts [sic] upward of 100 homeowners.” The Army Corps rates building the section as “most challenging.”
https://www.texasobserver.org/map-trump-border-wall-locations-texas/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! He’s going to kill lots of innocent wildlife in the process! Now your average Trumplodyte will be bragging about how the wildlife deserved it, because, MAGA! So what kind of wall are they looking at building?

SAN DIEGO — The Department of Homeland Security unveiled several border wall prototypes here on Thursday that the agency said was the first step in carrying out President Trump’s plan to build a barrier along the nearly 2,000-mile border that the United States shares with Mexico.

Agency officials said they would test the mock-ups over the next few months to determine which worked best in curbing illegal immigration and drug trafficking.

“The prototypes are vitally important to the future of border security,” said Ronald D. Vitiello, the acting deputy commissioner of Customs and Border Protection, the parent agency of the Border Patrol. Mr. Vitiello said the walls were central to the agency’s efforts to secure the border.

As Mr. Vitiello spoke alongside the prototypes, erected near existing fencing along the border in San Diego, a few Mexican police officers stood on the other side, watching. Before he spoke, Mr. Vitiello walked over and shook their hands.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/26/us/politics/border-wall-prototypes-unveiled.html

Yeah that’s the kind of shit eating grin that makes people think you should belong on a list and kept 500 feet away from schools and Chuck E Cheeses! Chuck E Cheeses – the Florida of pizza chains! I kid, I kid! Anyway, I am getting off track here! Oh and guess what? You know what else is getting off track? The wall itself!

TIJUANA, Mexico (Reuters) - U.S. President Donald Trump’s wall is far from built but towering concrete and steel prototypes in San Diego are making Mexicans living just south of the border feel his campaign pledge has turned them into “pariahs.”

Eight samples as high as 30 feet (9 meters) were completed last week near the Otay Mesa border crossing, the first tangible sign of Trump’s vow to build a wall from California to Texas for some $21.6 billion.

Opposite San Diego, residents of the Mexican city of Tijuana, where homes, companies and parks abut a corrugated steel fence on the border, dread the prospect of work on a permanent wall.

“People are still going to cross out of necessity even though they view us as pariahs over there,” said student Paola Gomez, 21, standing outside her home as the noise of workers putting up the sections drifted across the border.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-mexico-wall/mexicans-dismayed-by-rise-of-trumps-border-wall-idUSKBN1D15JA

By the way I love the people who own one of my favorite party games - Cards Against Humanity. They've done all kinds of crazy shit like dig a giant hole, just because. But this week, in relation to Trump's insane border wall, the did this:

CHICAGO (WLS) -- Cards Against Humanity, the "party game for terrible people" based in Chicago, has purchased a plot of land on the Mexican border and retained an eminent domain law firm to block the construction of President Trump's border wall.

"Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. He is so afraid that he wants to build a twenty-billion dollar wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing. So we've purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built," the company wrote on their website.

Cards Against Humanity purchased the land as part of their "Cards Against Humanity Saves America" holiday promotion. The holiday special costs $15 and features six "America-saving surprises" mailed to participants during the month of December.

The first gift features an illustrated map of the border land purchased, a certificate of the company's promise to fight the wall, and "other surprises."

Read more: http://abc7chicago.com/entertainment/cards-against-humanity-buys-land-on-mexican-border-to-block-trumps-wall/2648404/

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/6m8l7cUHwfsaviRlq2rfhOK_-5A=/0x0:600x400/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/53157915/tumblr_o7e6a9O1RP1qzpxq3o4_1280.1486599760.png

Oh and by the way in case you’re wondering – no, Trump’s border wall will *NOT* keep heroin and other illegal drugs out of America!

THIRTY feet high, built of concrete and steel, eight prototypes for Donald Trump’s wall stand in the dusty ground near the Otay Mesa border crossing in San Diego. Later this month a private company will start testing the slabs to see how they withstand attempts to climb over or tunnel beneath them.

On October 26th, when Donald Trump declared America’s opioid crisis a public health emergency, he said that his signature infrastructure project was a big part of the solution. “An astonishing 90% of the heroin in America comes from south of the border, where we will be building a wall which will greatly help in this problem”, he said. “It will have a great impact.” He had previously suggested that the wall should be see-through to prevent injuries from smugglers launching 60-pound bags of drugs over it (two of the prototypes are transparent). Mr Trump has long argued that a border wall would reduce undocumented immigration including that of drug dealers. But the available evidence suggests that a wall would have no effect on heroin supplies and could even increase the number of undocumented workers in America.
https://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2017/11/transparent-hype

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

Yes, friends! Gather around, friends! Pass the collection plate, friends! Yay, in this most troubling of times, we turn to the holiest among us. But even then we realize that the holiest among us are full of well…

Yay, this week we focus our attention on our esteemed brother Roy Moore! Because you know he is among the holiest among us! And the Christian right seems to have turned politics into a contact sport because, well, he crazy. And most of his supporters are crazy. Like this fucking guy – Wayne Allen Root, who says this:

Right-wing radio host, commentator, conspiracy theorist and Donald Trump–obsessed sycophant Wayne Allyn Root delivered a furious rant in defense of Roy Moore on his radio program last week after reports surfaced that Moore had pursued sexual relationships with teenage girls when he was in his 30s, demanding to know why the press never investigated reports that both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama had gay relationships.

“They’re scumbags,” Root said of Moore’s critics, including Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, whom Root insisted is “evil” and “looks like he died 20 years ago.”

Root said that based on the photos he has seen of the women who have accused Moore of pursuing them when they were teenagers, “they were beautiful young girls and they could have passed for 20” and so even if Moore did “hit on a couple of them,” it is no big deal because “every time a see a video or picture of [Joe Biden], he’s got his hand inappropriately on a woman’s ass.”
www.rightwingwatch.org/post/wayne-allyn-root-defends-roy-moore-by-alleging-that-clinton-and-obama-had-gay-relationships/

Yes they beith ever so crazy! Because that’s what the LORD OUR GOD would have wanted! And of courseth, why not blameth all males or anyone who has a penis for that matter? Because that’s what JAYSUS would want!!!!

Religious Right radio host and American Family Association official Sandy Rios attempted today to downplay reports that Republican Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore made romantic advances toward teenagers and molested a 14-year-old girl while in his 30s by implying that most men Moore’s age have things in their pasts that they are “ashamed of sexually.”

On her radio program this morning, Rios attempted to downplay and discredit accusations levied against Moore, questioning whether any of her male listeners did not have some shame over a past sexual act.

“Honestly, do you think there’s a person alive on the planet—certainly, I’ll limit it a little bit, I will say any man listening to my voice—that doesn’t have something in his past, in his box of secrets, that he’s ashamed of sexually?” Rios asked. “Especially, let’s just say, beginning in the ‘60s.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/sandy-rios-downplays-roy-moore-allegations-what-man-doesnt-have-something-hes-ashamed-of-sexually/

Yeah so let’s just lump all men in with bizarre sex crimes. You know that’s the kind of logic or lack thereof that the fundies love. One does it, so all must do it! You know – fights breaketh out among thine parents at thine Chuck E Cheese, so all customers who take their kids to Chuck E Cheese are potential fight starters! I kiddeth, I kiddeth. But you know what? You got to standeth by thine man! Because that’s what THE LORD OUR GOD would want and he is up there in HEAVEN shining down the light on ALL!!!

Former Alabama chief justice Roy Moore’s run for the U.S. Senate is a dream come true for many Religious Right activists, and they aren’t letting allegations that Moore pursued sexual relationships with teenage girls when he was in his 30s get in the way of their support for him.

While some conservative activists, such as the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, are hedging their bets by saying that the allegations against Moore would be disqualifying “if true,” others have blindly accepted Moore’s denials and are demonizing his accusers and the media, specifically The Washington Post, which first reported on the accusations.

Moore’s allies at Breitbart News have been all-hands-on-deck to run interference for their candidate and try to dig up dirt on his accusers. The conservative Sinclair Broadcast Group used a local Alabama TV station it owns to defend Moore.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/roy-moores-religious-right-supporters-stand-by-their-man/

But now beith some sanity. Or maybe not. Some Alabama republicans were quick to defend Brother Moore but then there were some that were sticking by thine groper:

A number of top Alabama Republicans were quick to defend Senate candidate Roy Moore (R) following allegations that he’d sought sexual relationships with multiple teenagers — and quick to attack Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) for throwing Moore under the bus.

McConnell said Moore “must step aside” if the Washington Post’s story was true that Moore, then 32, initiated a sexual encounter with a 14-year-old girl in 1979. It was a line echoed by most senators.

That infuriated a number of Republicans back in Alabama, many of whom defended Moore’s character and suggested the women were likely lying.

“I think it’s just a bunch of bull,” Perry Hooper Jr., President Trump’s Alabama state chairman, told TPM. “Mitch McConnell should know better to make a statement like he made unless he gets all the answers. We’re right in the political zone right now, the election’s December 12th. This is the same campaign issue the left ran against Donald Trump on, they’re doing the same thing against Roy Moore.”
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/top-alabama-gopers-blast-mcconnell-defend-roy-moore-after-underage-sex-allegations

?itemid=3461131

But then finally in case you’re wondering if thine Christian right couldn’t be any crazier, I giveth you Liz Crokin, who sayeth this about child sex slaves and the illuminati. They are DEMONS!!!!!! Sanctioned by the LORD OUR GOD AND THE ALMIGHTY!!!!!! Hallelujah! Passeth thine collection plate!!!

Last week, right-wing “journalist” Liz Crokin alleged that the fact that Democratic lobbyist Tony Podesta likes to wear red shoes is a sign that he is a pedophile because the Illuminati uses the movie “The Wizard of Oz” to brainwash child sex slaves.

Making a second appearance on a program hosted by one-time “Survivor” contestant Anna Khait that was streamed on Mike Cernovich’s Facebook page last Thursday, Crokin continued on her mission to expose the supposed fact that leading government, entertainment and business leaders are involved in a massive satanic pedophile cult by linking Podesta’s choice of shoes to Illuminati mind-control.

“Tony Podesta is obsessed with his red shoes,” Crokin said. “There is symbolism for red shoes in the occult and it’s also tied to satanic ritualistic abuse and the trafficking of children.”

“The Illuminati, the elites, they use ‘The Wizard of Oz’ to mind control child slaves,” she added. “They use certain films to program children and part of the programming is having them watch these films and they also sexually abuse them and they physically abuse them because the abuse splits their personality and creates different personalities, so then they are able to program them and control them and they virtually become MK-Ultra programming.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/liz-crokin-explains-how-the-illuminati-uses-the-wizard-of-oz-to-create-child-sex-slaves/

Holy shit!!! You are actively defending pedophilia! So you can stop this foolishness, Liz! Because if you still defend Roy Moore, you are not the child of the LORD OUR GOD! Yay, mass has ended this week, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Sean Hannity
[br] [/font] [br]

OK who wants a nice K-Cup of your favorite beverage? Come and get ‘em, audience! K-Cups for everybody! You get a K-Cup, you get a K-Cup, you get a K-Cup! And you get one! And you get one! And you get one! Everybody gets a K-Cup! Everybody gets a K-Cup!!!! Oh you stay here, Sean Hannity! Don’t let me think I’m letting you get away with this one! Yeah you know what I’m talking about - I’ve mentioned this twice already. But it bears a third mentioning.

Yeah die, you motherfucking Keurig! Die!!!! Because MAGA!!!! You know you’re not really boycotting anything, Hannity fans. See Keurig already got your money. You really want to piss Keurig off take that $300 you would spend on one of their coffee makers and send a video of you lighting that $300 on fire directly! But guess what? It’s only temporary!

In a companywide memo obtained by the media, Keurig CEO Bob Gamgort apologized to employees for attracting national, negative attention to the coffeemaker by creating the appearance that the brand was "taking sides" by pulling its advertising from Sean Hannity's Fox News program.

The memo also placed the blame for the considerable backlash the brand has experienced since that decision on both Hannity and on the way it announced the move via social media.

Last week, Keurig made the not-unreasonable decision to stop advertising its products on "Hannity" after the host appeared to downplay allegations that Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore had engaged in improper and illegal sexual relations with a 14-year-old girl.

On Saturday, the company announced the decision via a reply to an inquiry by Media Matters President Angelo Carusone, sent to the brand's official Twitter account.
https://www.salon.com/2017/11/13/keurig-sean-hannity-fox-news/

Yeah take a page from Heath Ledger’s Joker – light your money on fire!!! So what did Sean Hannity say that pissed everybody off? You know, maybe don’t use the phrase “lynch mob”, guys!

NEWT GINGRICH: This guys never had a jury trial, he’s never been indicted, there’s never been a chance to measure up against his accusers. I’m not defending him but I’m just saying it’s amazing to me how rapidly the lynch mob can form.

SEAN HANNITY (HOST): You and I are in the same position. I, listen, I don’t know.

GINGRICH: I remember still, when you were a mere child I remember Clarence Thomas walking into that Senate hearing room and talking about a “modern day lynching”, and I remember how whipped up and how excited the liberals were and how they had this wonderful witness. And I watched all of them melt as Clarence Thomas just took them to pieces.
https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/11/13/sean-hannity-show-newt-gingrich-says-lynch-mob-after-roy-moore/218546

Seriously – this whole thing is a trainwreck! And here’s the thing Hannity fans – you’re not really boycotting shit! Keurig already has your money! They couldn’t really give a shit what they do with your machines!

Mix together a popular coffee maker, a conservative TV host and a politician accused of dating teenage girls, and the result is a potent brew of consumer anger.

The #BoycottKeurig hashtag started when coffee maker Keurig said it had pulled ads from "Hannity," the top-rated cable news show hosted by Fox News' Sean Hannity. The decision came after some consumers expressed concerns to the coffee company about host Sean Hannity's coverage of sexual misconduct allegations against Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore of Alabama.

Brands carefully scrutinize where their ads appear, snubbing outlets that might reflect badly on their image. Yet conservative fans responded by expressing outrage with Keurig's decision, prompting the #BoycottKeurig hashtag and posting videos of themselves destroying their Keurig machines.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/sean-hannity-keurig-fans-boycott/

And then here’s the best part of this whole thing – the MAGA idiots destroying their Keurigs show that they’re actually part of a pro environmental movement! That’s right! By destroying something like the Keurig and boycotting the company, they’re saving the earth! And that’s something that the MAGA idiots hate!

In response to consumer complaints, Keurig wrote Saturday, “We worked with our media partner and Fox News to stop our ad from airing during The Sean Hannity Show,” in a tweet that has since been deleted. (Keurig CEO Bob Gamgort today clarified that “the decision to communicate our short-term media actions on Twitter was done outside of company protocols.”)

The ideological basis of the Keurig Smash Challenge is murky and filled with directionless energy, not unlike coffee. The protesting of Keurig is a small step removed from overtly supporting the reported actions of Moore. What’s more, destroying Keurig machines also clearly aligns these people with a global environmentalist movement. In 2015, the “Kill the K-Cup” campaign took hold among those concerned about the net waste of so many pods. A Canadian advocate encouraged people to publicly abandon the machines.
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/11/conservatives-join-environmentalist-movement/545711/

But Hannity and the Keurig CEO decided to makeup after the fiasco, but hey some MAGAholes got some likes on Twitter and they’re out $300. Can’t wait to see what the next advertising boycott brings! Smash your car, smash your house! You know you want to!

Don’t boycott coffee machine maker Keurig Green Mountain. So says conservative talk show host Sean Hannity, whose fans have been smashing their Keurig coffee makers and gleefully posting the videos on Twitter.

“I am a believer of freedom of speech,” Hannity said during his radio talk show Monday. “I’m not going to support a boycott of Keurig.”

That came after Keurig said it planned to stop airing ads during the Sean Hannity Show on Fox News—sparking videos of Hannity fans smashing their Keurig machines in protest. Keurig’s decision to pull advertising, which its CEO apologized Monday for announcing on Twitter, came after Hannity sparked controversy for defending Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore against allegations of sexual misconduct with minors. Moore has denied those allegations, but the controversy has sent Republican leaders scrambling for ways to block his election to the Senate.
http://fortune.com/2017/11/13/sean-hannity-keurig-boycott-fox-news/

[font size="8"]The Alt Right
[br] [/font] [br]

So the Alt Right – they’re like your racist uncle’s brand of racists but with a cool, hip new attitude! I mean you know Trump has emboldened the racists. And it’s also enabled a new generation of racists who, unlike their racist uncles, are proud to wear their racism out in the open. Take for example Alt Right darling and Fox News Barbie doll (now comes with “Hillary For Prison” t-shirt and pre-programmed talking list of Trump conspiracy theories!), Tomi Lahren. Who this week attempted to troll “liberal snowflakes” and it backfired on her spectacularly:

https://twitter.com/TPUSA/status/930108538185179136
https://twitter.com/osnapitscri/status/930251393851588609
https://twitter.com/LeBrittfar/status/930110414146494465

I like that last one! So the Alt Right is of course batshit insane. And now let’s focus on another Alt Right darling and guy who thinks “The Man Show” isn’t manly enough, Mike Cernovich, who said this:

No Mike, we’re just trying to destroy you, big difference! I mean really, do you protest way too much, or is it just you? Yeah it’s just you. By the way in case you wonder what it’s like to work with these insane lunatics, ask the employees at Tesla who this week said this:

Tesla Inc.’s production floor is a "hotbed for racist behavior," an African-American employee claimed in a lawsuit in which he alleged black workers at the electric carmaker suffer severe and pervasive harassment.

The employee says he’s one of more than 100 African-American Tesla workers affected and is seeking permission from a judge to sue on behalf of the group. He’s seeking unspecified general and punitive monetary damages as well as an order for Tesla to implement policies to prevent and correct harassment.

"Although Tesla stands out as a groundbreaking company at the forefront of the electric car revolution, its standard operating procedure at the Tesla factory is pre-Civil Rights era race discrimination," the employee said in the complaint, filed Monday in California’s Alameda County Superior Court.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-11-13/tesla-a-hotbed-for-racist-behavior-black-workers-claim-in-suit

And that’s in my home state damn it! These alt right lunatics are everywhere! Well, it should be no surprise given the fiasco that’s been happening at Google lately. And speaking of the Alt Right, their favorite news network of choice Breitbart are the big losers this week in their defense of Roy Moore. You know Breitbart – it’s like Fox News but with more use of the N word.

Monday afternoon, the three-level headline on the homepage conservative website Breitbart News said it all: “Alabama Woman Says Roy Moore Sexually Assaulted Her in 1971… ’I Thought He Was Going to Rape Me’… Gloria Allred: Trump Supporter Came to Me.”

The revelations of another accuser of Roy Moore, the Republican’s problematic Senate candidate in Alabama, threw a bucket of cold water on Breitbart and former Trump strategist Steve Bannon’s attempt to back Moore amid multiple allegations of sexual misconduct.

In what it promoted as an “exclusive” blockbuster story less than 24 hours ago, Breitbart published a piece featuring an interview with the mother of one of the women who has accused Moore of initiating sexual contact with her when she was a teenager. The mother claimed reporters at the Washington Post convinced her daughter to go public.

“She did not go to them,” Nancy Wells told Breitbart of her daughter, Leigh Corfman, who accused Moore of attempting to initiate sexual contact with her when she was just 14. “They called her.”
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/politics/roy-moore-alabama-senate-sexual-misconduct-breitbart-steve-bannon-20171113.html

And speaking of freaks over there in loser ville, there’s Oath Keepers founder and member of the Bryan Cranston impersonators’ club, Greg McInnes, who said this about last week’s elections in Virginia:

CRTV commentator Gavin McInnes, who also leads the bizarre, misogynistic “Proud Boys” fraternity, said that the historic election of several openly transgender people to state and local offices earlier this week can be blamed on men allowing women to vote.

On yesterday’s episode of “Get Off My Lawn,” McInnes was joined by Gateway Pundit’s White House reporter Lucian Wintrich, who joined him in attributing major Republican losses to Democrats campaigning on “identity politics” by putting forward diverse candidates. They went on to attribute the election of transgender people, including Virginia state assembly candidate Danica Roem, to women’s ability to vote.

“The liberals say, ‘Maybe we should give up on identity politics,’ but you look at all the Sikhs and black people and trans who won in this election and all these unprecedented cases. It had nothing to do with policy. It was all identity politics,” McInnes said.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/gavin-mcinnes-trans-candidates-wouldnt-have-won-if-men-didnt-let-women-vote/

By the way, anyone really surprised that a known gun nut and creepy looking old guy who very obviously applies a generous dose of Just For Men hair coloring to his hair every morning hosts a show called “Get Off My Lawn”?. I’m not! But have no fear, Alt Right! If you’re that afraid of a democratic takeover of the government after your incompetence, you can always move to Poland – they share their views with you!

The official celebration of Poland’s 99th independence day went innocuously, with the usual ceremonies in the capital. There was even a visit from the European Council’s internationalist president, who insisted to Politico that Saturday’s festivities would proceed “with a smile on our face and with joy in our hearts.”

But for blocks and blocks and blocks beyond the central towers of Warsaw, a much larger crowd swelled beneath a cloud of red smoke.

Tens of thousands of people had come from across Poland and beyond, and reporters documented their signs:

“Clean Blood,” as seen by Politico.

“White Europe” streaked across another banner, the Associated Press reported — as about 60,000 people chanted and marched through Warsaw in an annual gathering of Europe’s far-right movements, which have grown to dwarf the official version of Poland's independence day celebration.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/11/12/pray-for-an-islamic-holocaust-tens-of-thousands-from-europes-far-right-march-in-poland/

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font] [br]

Oh you know what time it is? It’s time for this!

Of course you know by now, people are people, and people are dumb. It’s been a while since we have done this, but there’s a lot of stupid people in the news lately. And while not all of them support Roy Moore, a good majority of them do! So who is stupid this week? Let’s start with this story out of Germany.

A young man arrested by police in the German city of Darmstadt was found to be carrying a python in his trousers.

The 19-year-old was detained for drunken behaviour after a reported altercation with another man had led to complaints from local residents.

While searching him, officers noticed a "significant bulge in his trousers", a police statement said.

The man told the officers he had a snake in his pants, revealing a 35cm (about 14in) baby king python.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41914261

So there you have it folks – a literal trouser snake! I guess that gives new meaning to the phrase “Is that a snake in your pants or are you happy to see me?” Yes – that is a snake in your pants! Next up we go to Florida – because hey, why not? It’s Florida! So there’s a guy who is trying to get his apartment complex to recognize his emotional support squirrel.

Ryan Boylan and Brutis are inseparable pals.

Boylan tells Clearwater’s WFLA News Channel 8, “I can’t imagine not being around her.”

As for Brutis, she always has a shoulder to lean on.

Problem is, Brutis is a squirrel, and property managers at Boylan’s Clearwater Beach condo, who discovered his furry friend in April, say Brutis has got to go or Boylan will be evicted.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article184097341.html

Emotional Support Squirrels – awesome band by the way! Next up – sex on planes! And why am I not surprised that it involves someone going to or coming from Florida?

A man and a woman flew into some trouble Sunday night after they were reportedly caught engaging in a sexual act on a Delta flight from Los Angeles to Detroit.

The man, 28, and woman, 48, were not named, but both were issued citations, and the FBI is currently investigating the incident, according to Detoit's WDIV-TV.

The woman was caught giving the man oral sex while the two were in their seats, the station further reported.

Both the man and woman were traveling to Detroit to catch separate connecting flights: He was going on to Miami, and she to Nashville. The two were reportedly strangers before meeting on the plane, officials told WDIV.
http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2017/10/31/strangers-on-delta-flight-performed-sex-act-in-their-seats-officials-say.html

Next up let’s go to Wisconsin – Florida’s drunk uncle, and what do you do if you’re accidentally locked in a freezer full of beer? Well. The answer is obvious! Yeah I know it’s dumb but I can guarantee I would do the same thing!

MARSHFIELD, Wis. (AP) — When a central Wisconsin man got locked inside a convenience store cooler overnight, he made the best of it, knocking back a beer and three more malt beverages.

USA Today Network-Wisconsin reports that police were called to a Kwik Trip in Marshfield Wednesday morning. A customer had noticed the 38-year-old man inside the cooler around 6 a.m., and when employees opened it, he fled.

When police found and arrested the man, he told them he went into the store to buy beer and got locked inside the cooler just before midnight Tuesday. He told them he figured he might just as well stay inside and drink.

http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2017/10/27/wisconsin-man-beer-cooler/

Next up – we go back to Germany for this one. And really… is it a World War II era bomb or is it a giant pickle? This will be a mystery for the ages!

A German pensioner feared a monster courgette he found in his garden was an unexploded World War Two bomb and called the police.

The 5kg (11-pound) courgette had probably been thrown over a hedge into the 81 year old's garden, police said.

Luckily no evacuation was required in Bretten, a town near Karlsruhe in south-west Germany.

The 40cm (16-inch) vegetable - also called zucchini - "really did look like a bomb", police said.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41857694

And finally for People Are Dumb – let’s go to England. Look, if there’s one place in the entire world you don’t want to get naked, it’s a cemetery.

Man filmed naked in graveyard while on community service

The probation service has been accused of "appalling" failings after a man was filmed naked using a leaf blower while doing community service in a graveyard.

The man was also filmed wearing a priest's robes at a church he was supposed to be working at.

The Dorset, Devon and Cornwall Community Rehabilitation Company said a supervisor has since been sacked.

NAPO, the union for probation, said the company is "not fit for purpose".
http://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-41847967/man-filmed-naked-in-graveyard-while-on-community-service

Wait – the guy was wearing a priest’s robe before this? Way to... excuse the bad pun… bury the lead there, BBC! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #22: Australia
[br] [/font] [br]

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, in the last few weeks we’ve discovered that South Korea might go nuclear, China’s falling space station will most likely kill a whole bunch of us, and India’s got some major human rights violations. Man Asia’s not nearly as fun as Europe was. Here’s the tour schedule:

[font size="6"]Australia[/font]

G’Day mate!!!! We have made it to the land down under! And you know what? We have officially hit all six continents!!!! Whew!!!!! Yeah how awesome is this? We have made it! We are on the home stretch of the first leg of our World Tour, so I will celebrate with a giant 64 ounce can of Toohey’s Ale! Because they do love beer in Australia, and lots of it! So Australia. You might know them as the home of this guy:

But there’s more to Australia than that. It’s the home of one of the world’s original natural wonders – the Great Barrier Reef, which might be slowly disappearing if the world’s oil companies don’t get to it first. And it’s the home to another one of the world’s wonders – Ayers Rock. You know it as the giant rock that Tom Cruise nearly fell off of in Mission: Impossible 2. It’s also the home of a man made wonder – the Sydney Opera House. Australia’s also home to some very large and beautiful cities including Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Perth, and Brisbane. It’s also the home of some very exotic wildlife which includes kangaroos, koalas, and tons of insects and other animals that could possibly kill you! So don’t wander too far into the woods, there, mates! There’s so much more I want to say about the Land Down Under, but in the interest of time we will move right along! So what else is Australia the home of? Well, you might have heard about a crazy election they are going to have that could legalize same sex marriage throughout the country!

Like many Australians, Melissa Chomel wants to marry the person she loves.
She's been looking at wedding dresses online for months, picked a wedding car, but can't decide between a church service or beach ceremony.
But there's no point in making firm plans yet, because she doesn't know if the government will allow her to marry.
You see, Melissa is in love with her girlfriend Ebony.
Since September, Australians have been voting in a divisive postal survey to decide whether or not same-sex couples should be allowed to wed.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/08/asia/australia-same-sex-marriage-blog/index.html

?itemid=4719230

And you know when something like this that’s this controversial gets mailed out to everybody in the country, people tend to fuck with it.

ARGUMENTS for and against same-sex marriage have very little impact on whether voters support it or not, a major report has found.

The finding presents a challenge to the rationale behind having a $122 million nationwide debate and postal survey on the issue.

Respondents were randomly assigned either the “plain” version of the question, “Do you approve or not approve of same-sex couples being allowed to marry?” or a version summarising the “equality” and ”religious freedom” arguments for and against.

But the different wording had “no discernible impact on attitudes”, the United States Studies Centre concluded, with “both arguments seem[ing] to carry equal force, cancelling each other out.”

Researchers also found Australians were far more accepting of same-sex marriage than their American counterparts, with 60 per cent of Aussies supporting it compared to just 48 per cent of people in the US.
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/gay-marriage/fatal-flaw-with-samesex-marriage-debate/news-story/adb586136e81f1e0d7d4a43c61bcda77

Would it be surprising at all to learn that Australia’s rural conservatives really are no different from rural American conservatives? Well, they’re not! They are definitely cut from the same cloth, especially on this marriage debate!

Liberal backbencher Ian Goodenough has revealed he is among “probably more than a dozen” members working on the alternative bill.

Conservatives have voiced concerns that the pre-existing bill drafted by moderate Liberals, sponsored by Dean Smith, does not include adequate protections for groups that may continue to oppose same-sex marriage on religious grounds after the law is changed.

“I believe that the bill is focused on the wedding ceremony itself, but it doesn't go further than that,” Mr Goodenough told ABC Radio on Thursday.

The Smith bill would allow churches to refuse to marry homosexual couples.

But Mr Goodenough said there were not enough protections for schools, parents and religious charities, which he said could risk violating anti-discrimination laws for voicing opposition to same-sex marriage unless there are specific exemptions in the new law.
http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2017/11/09/same-sex-marriage-conservative-mps-prepare-bill-stronger-religious-protections

?itemid=4719292

That’s right! Australia’s rural conservatives want to use their freedom of expression against them to be able to discriminate against same gender couples the same way American rural conservatives want to! I mean really, Australia. You should know from watching us that that’s bad! And you know what? I am going to switch subjects here, Australia’s also as in denial about climate change as we are!

Australia has less than three years to form a coherent, long-term plan to tackle climate change or the effects could be disastrous, a leading expert says.

Internationally renowned climate scientist Will Steffen says it will be impossible to limit the damage caused by rising temperatures and sea levels if Australia fails to act by 2020.

"It would be virtually impossible to cap at (a rise in) 2C degrees... we estimate that could mean somewhere around 15 metres in terms of rising sea levels," Professor Steffen told reporters on Thursday.
https://thewest.com.au/news/weather/australia-lagging-in-climate-change-battle-ng-s-1795248

But there is some good news and I’m actually glad I’m doing Australia this week because… something very awesome happened!

That’s where we’ll leave today’s rolling coverage of the historic same sex marriage survey.

It was a controversial, expensive, and often traumatic exercise which in the end confirmed Australians supported marriage equality in numbers similar to those found by repeated polling.

But it won. 61.6% of people who took part in the non-binding postal survey said Yes. The No campaign got 38.4% - lower than the 40% that former prime, Tony Abbott said would deliver a “moral victory”.

No campaign leader, Lyle Shelton, blamed the media and the “relentlessness” of the Yes campaigners.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/live/2017/nov/15/australias-same-sex-marriage-postal-survey-results-live

Oh and by the way if you visit Australia, don’t make the “dingo ate your baby” joke. One thing – it’s horribly offensive! And two – it’s been done. Seriously, if you’re going to insult, at least find some original material!

Paris Jackson's first trip Down Under got off to an uneasy start following her controversial appearance at Tuesday's Melbourne Cup.

But it appears the 19-year-old has been enjoying her recent days in Australia.

On Thursday, Paris took to Instagram to share pictures of herself patting a dingo - before adding the caption 'A dingo ate my baby'.

Perhaps unaware of the chilling origins of the phrase, 'a dingo ate my baby' was first screamed by Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton after her daughter, Azaria, was abducted from an Uluru campsite in 1980.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5065115/Paris-Jackson-cosies-Australian-animals.html

Yeah so that happened. I take it Ms. Jackson (Oooooooooh!) doesn’t really get out much. But if you’re thinking of moving to Australia, you should at least be aware of what you’re getting into should you decide to leave the US!

GENEVA (Reuters) - Australia should stop rejecting refugees and change its migration laws to come into line with international standards, the U.N. Human Rights Committee said in a report on Thursday.

The committee, which comprises 18 independent experts and monitors countries' compliance with a global human rights treaty, said Australia should come back in a year to explain what action it had taken to meet its concerns.

Australia has been widely criticized by the United Nations and rights groups for detaining asylum seekers who try to reach its shores by boat, even if they are found to be refugees, and keeping them on offshore processing centers in Nauru and Papua New Guinea.
https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2017-11-09/un-watchdog-tells-australia-to-change-its-migration-laws

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

Australia is a great place to visit. It’s also a great place to live. But if you’re thinking of moving here, you should know that their rural conservatives don’t take too kindly to outsiders. Just stay in the cities and you’ll be good!

Tourism: A
Culture: B+
Political Spectrum: C
Liberal Appeal: B

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Uh oh, we’re headed to the Middle East next. And our next country will be a particularly fun one to watch because we’re going to Saudi Arabia! And I hear they don’t have much of a sense of humor in that country.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is one of Australia’s premier psychedelic experimental rock bands. One of their latest albums is called “Flying Microtonal Banana”. Playing their song called “Rattlesnake”, please welcome King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard!

See you next week! If we still live through this week that is!

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November 15, 2017

Mark Taylor: Illuminati-Controlled Hurricanes Hit Texas And Florida To Punish Trump Voters

Yesterday, self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor made another appearance on Sheila Zilinsky’s podcast, where he claimed that the Illuminati sent hurricanes to strike Texas and Florida earlier this year as punishment against those who voted for Donald Trump in “retaliation for backing out of the Paris Climate Accord.”

“These things did not come from God,” Taylor said. “People want to know where is this coming from. Well, I have the answer for you, it’s called the Illuminati, New World Order, Deep State, whatever you want to call it because they’re all part of the same team. The Lord showed me—and I know this is going to be a conspiracy theory but it’ll come out, the truth will come out one day to back this up—but the Lord showed me, Sheila, these two weather incidents with Harvey and Irma, they were manipulated and steered by man, literally.”

“The Lord said, ‘What two states did they hit? Florida and Texas. You think it’s a coincidence that both of these states were the largest electoral votes for Trump?'” Taylor continued. “So the Lord was giving me signs to prove that these were, in fact, manipulated and steered by man.”

Taylor went on to assert that the Illuminati targeted the U.S. with these hurricanes because Trump had “delegitimized climate control” by withdrawing from the Paris Accord, which he asserted was really just a “slush fund to fund the New World Order.”

“This is the largest spiritual battle since the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ,” he added.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mark-taylor-illuminati-controlled-hurricanes-hit-texas-and-florida-to-punish-trump-voters/

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