orleans
orleans's Journali'm very sorry for your loss
the first father's day without dad is hard as the next one may be and the one after that.
seeing the card displays in the stores were really difficult for me--i'd start crying as i walked past them--took a couple years before i could slow down, look, and still i'd tear up.
it's a big adjustment. it's devastating.
i'm sorry you're going through this period in your life.
i lost my dad 24 years ago--can't recall how long it took before i felt like i had accepted his absence or adjusted to him not being around.
i lost my mom over 2 and a half years ago and i'm still not together about it. sometimes when i talk about her, unemotionally, it's as if i'm speaking of someone else--i can put up this feigned detachment for people. but at home? or when i'm alone? omg. i am so not detached--still so emotionally invested in her, and i still talk to her a lot, and cry a lot. i'll hear her voice in my mind. i tell her to give me "signs" and she does. i don't think she's that far away, but i can't see her or hug her and i hate it.
it's a big adjustment. and again, i'm very sorry. take care.
i'm very sorry for you
this is the hardest time we go through when someone we love transitions out of the physical world. (i'm still grieving for my mom who passed over two and a half years ago; she went to the hospital and twenty two days later i brought her ashes home--on my birthday. it's unbelievable how quickly life can change/alter/skew)
if you are undecided as to what to do with his ashes then just wait...there is no rush. think about it. decide later. it can wait.
comfort yourself for now. talk to him--just because we can't hear them doesn't mean they can't hear us. i'm sure they do--and i'm sure they listen to what we say to them. he may not be able to check his email but that doesn't mean he isn't standing behind you, reading over your shoulder as you write to him.
when we live with someone their physical absence is a stark and constant reminder that our life is never going to be the same. and if life was good, we grieve for that too.
"Death is not the end. It is the beginning. No one you are close to ever dies. There is life everlasting; there is no such thing as death….Death is not a termination but a transition." --george anderson
love doesn't die--it's the bond that keeps us connected--from this world to the next. i truly believe our beloved ones do all they can to stay and comfort us as long as we need them to. if i could hear my mother, and you could hear your husband, they would probably both be saying the same thing: "i never left you."
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Gender: FemaleMember since: Fri Nov 26, 2004, 05:56 AM
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