I have to vent. I have a big problem.

Yesterday my wife and I had to go to a meeting some two and half hours away, so we carpooled with two friends. We're in the back seat on the way home, and our friends are up front talking. My wife is checking her Facebook feed on her phone. She hands the phone to me and what do I see; a post about a Survey for Donald Trump, and there's sits my brother's name and my niece's name.

Now my niece, I can and have written off. She's racist. No if ands or buts, so I cut connection to her. Goodbye. She lives 2000 miles away.

My brother is another story. We lost our older and only brother earlier this year to Parkinsons, so it's just me and him left, our parents are long gone. He is 3 years older than me. We were at college together for a year. He is very, very different from me, but I have always loved and supported him, even when he made dumb-ass life decisions. I helped him with his kids' tuition in high school and college, because that's what family does and he's always broke. He recently retired but was what I'd call working poor. Or at least working broke. But what the hell, kids can do that, right? He always been a nice, simple, likable guy, dealing with life on a day to day basis.

But this? He's a Trump supporter. I woke up at 3am thinking about this. He's NEVER been interested in politics. Even when he was about to get his ass drafted, he was against the war in a mild sort of way; I was out in the streets. I'd call him a-political, but he voted, as far as I knew, for Democrats, for as long as I can remember. We don't talk politics because I know he's totally uninterested. So this a.m. I get up and go to his Facebook page because this put a maggot in my brain and I look at his likes; Donald Trump. Melania Trump. Ivanka Trump. Shit. I think his kids would kill him if they knew.

How fucked up is this. Now, you have to understand, he has been living with a black woman for over twenty years. He has two children, 23 and 20 (really bright, nice kids and very liberal) who consider themselves as black. He gets along well with his kids' black aunts and cousins. He lives in a majority black neighborhood. By every measure I can see, he doesn't have a racist bone in his body. In fact, quite the opposite. He has Hispanic friends and co-workers whom he likes and talks about. I been with him in south Texas and seen how he acts around people who speak Spanish. He totally enjoys the culture and people. He never rants and raves about immigrants, or anything, for that matter. He sometimes mildly bitches about how corrupt Illinois state government is, but shit, it is and has been our whole lives (I left at age 31). There's no sign. None. If someone told me he was a MAGA I'd laugh. But I saw it.

Folks, I just can't square this circle. Now I can get past someone who voted for Trump the first time around. You got duped. You got conned. You were pissed about something and you took it out in the ballot box. Whatever. But after two and a half years of this shit, you still support this racist, fascist, lying, thieving, hate monger, then frankly I want nothing whatsoever to do with you.

On top of all this, his birthday is in early August and he's coming out for a visit. For a week. How the hell am I going to deal with this. How do I get past this? I'm trying and failing to pretend I didn't see what I saw. I do not want to lose my last remaining close family. Should I confront him? If he acknowledges it, I swear I don't want him in my house. Should I pretend I didn't see it and just talk sports like we usually do? Is this too circumstantial?

Friends, I cannot fucking deal this this. I need a shrink. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I know others at DU have been in this fifth circle of hell. Thanks for listening. Rant temporarily over.