But the stress and trauma reached a tipping point with the siege of the Third Police Precinct, he said. Fifty of the officers currently seeking disability, about one-third of the total, were present at the Third Precinct on Thursday, May 28.

“They did not feel they were going to come home,” said Meuser. Some officers were texting their families’ goodbye and others were saving a bullet in case they needed to take their own life, rather than being beaten to death, he said. 

Meuser said since the killing of George Floyd, officers have felt abandoned by city and state politicians as well as the community at large. “It’s an emotional beatdown on a daily basis for these guys,” he said.