Reimagining a classic polka for the modern age

We've all heard, and many of us have sung, this classic tune:

In heaven there is no beer.
That's why we drink it here (Right Here!)
and when we're gone from here,
our friends will be drinking all the beer!

But now we're in the Era of Trump, and I think this little ditty deserves a rewrite...

In prison there's no KFC
So go get a bucket for me
Cause when I'm locked up, you see...
You'll all eat chicken without me!

Police officer killed during traffic stop by impaired driver on Christmas Eve

Let me guess...Eric Prince for SecDef?

Popeyes introduces "Emotional Support Chicken"

Two weird questions for you fine individuals

Doesn't the GOP call what Judge Reed O'Connor did (he's the one who wrote the ruling overturning the Affordable Care Act) "legislating from the bench"?

And doesn't the GOP also say legislating from the bench is a very bad thing?

Having given an evening's thought about the "vegan rap"...

You know, this...thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=31&v=qACxfKB3iP4

I have come to the conclusion that this atrocity makes one pine for the high quality and production value of Chuggo's magnum opus, "C'mon Fuck a Guy."

Is it too soon to discuss something re. GHWB?

A very large reason the Republicans are as bad as they are, is Poppy Bush's campaign manager Lee Atwater.

Fun way to fritter away a few moments

Fill out online quizzes the way Donald Trump would.

Shutting down the government for a president's funeral is a tradition

Reagan's funeral caused the same thing:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A39086-2004Jun13.html

Every president since FDR received a one-day government standdown.

When Trump dies, padlock all flags at full staff for 30 days

And make sure before the bastard goes we know where his grave is going to be, so the area can be properly permitted as a hazardous waste dump.