Mark Judge Can't Believe That Lightweight Kavanaugh Got 'Boofing' And 'The Devil's Triangle' Wrong

BETHANY BEACH, DE—Shaking his head in frustration as he read about the testimony given by his old high school friend to the Senate Judiciary Committee, Mark Judge reportedly confirmed Friday that he couldn’t believe that fucking lightweight Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh got the meanings of “boofing” and “the Devil’s Triangle” wrong.

“Seriously, that’s just fucking despicable, and there’s no way that little bitch should be anywhere near the Supreme Court,” said a visibly pissed-off Judge, adding that he couldn’t fathom handing over a lifetime appointment to America’s highest judicial body to “some candy-ass dipshit” who couldn’t remember important things like the fact that everyone knows the Devil’s Triangle “is not some dumb drinking game—it’s a fuckin’ threesome with two dudes on one chick. It’s awesome.”

“Jesus Christ, I’ve never been so disappointed in someone. I mean, I knew Brett was a puker, but I simply can’t accept the possibility that he blacked out from drinking ’skis so many times that he forgot that boofing is taking beer up the ass. He said it’s about farting? Come the fuck on, dude—we used to boof all the time! Man, all of America was watching, and he totally pussied out. Honestly, I’m ashamed to say I was his friend.”

Judge added that he hoped that further investigations into Kavanaugh could allow the nominee to prove his truthfulness by vouching for the time they were in a threesome at a party and their dicks accidentally touched.

https://politics.theonion.com/mark-judge-can-t-believe-that-fucking-lightweight-kavan-1829398554

September Song

Something to share on this last day of the month.

Track Palin again arrested on domestic violence charges

Track Palin has been arrested on new domestic-violence charges, Alaska State Troopers said, in a case similar to one in which he was charged nearly two years ago.

Palin, an Army veteran and the 29-year-old son of former Gov. Sarah Palin, was arrested on misdemeanor charges of fourth-degree domestic-violence assault, interfering with the report of a domestic-violence crime, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct according to an online dispatch.

Troopers responded at about 10:30 p.m. Friday to a West Angela Drive home in Wasilla for a report of a disturbance, according to an online dispatch.

“Investigation revealed [Track Palin] assaulted an acquaintance at his residence,” troopers wrote. “When the acquaintance attempted to call authorities, he prevented her by taking away her phone. While being placed under arrest, Palin physically resisted troopers.”

http://www.ktva.com/story/39198592/track-palin-again-arrested-on-domestic-violence-charges

Republican family values strikes again!

Ammar Campa-Najjar for 50th House seat

It’s not exactly a mystery how The San Diego Union-Tribune Editorial Board feels about the 50th Congressional District race. In May, before the primary election, we wrote that voters should support “anyone but Duncan Hunter,” citing the Alpine Republican’s pathetic campaign finance scandal, in which he and his wife Margaret routinely used campaign funds for their personal and family needs. Rather incredibly, Hunter at various times suggested he was the true victim in the scandal, blaming his wife and the “dishonest” reporting of the Union-Tribune. On Aug. 21, when the U.S. Attorney’s Office in San Diego released a 60-count indictment that laid out in painstaking detail how Hunter and his wife had spent more than $250,000 in campaign funds from 2010-2017, we called for his resignation, saying he doesn’t deserve the privilege of representing the 50th district in Congress.

The good news for voters in the district is that the Democrat running against Hunter — Ammar Campa-Najjar, a former White House fellow and former director of communications and public affairs for the U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce — is bright and knowledgeable. He is only 29. But we encourage voters who might hold his age against him to read the transcript of his hour-long interview with the editorial board. Campa-Najjar made empathetic points about veterans and military families, touted apprenticeship programs and how effective they are in Germany, and dissected the shortcomings of our health care system. He’s not doctrinaire on issues, criticizing the 2017 state gas tax hike pushed through by Gov. Jerry Brown.

In short, he meets the test of being a credible candidate. We endorse Campa-Najjar for Congress. He is far superior to the troubled incumbent. This fact is underlined by the despicable ad that Hunter has begun to air in recent days suggesting that his “Palestinian Mexican millennial” opponent was linked to terrorist groups and was “working to infiltrate Congress.” It’s well-known that Campa-Najjar’s grandfather was a terrorist who helped plan the 1972 attack on Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics. It’s also well-known that Campa-Najjar, a Christian, has had literally nothing to do with his grandfather. As Campa-Najjar notes, when he worked at the White House, he was “given a security clearance by the Secret Service after a thorough background check.” With this smear, Hunter continues to demolish his own reputation.

http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/opinion/editorials/sd-ed-50-district-duncan-hunter-campa-najjar-utak-20180928-story.html

Kavanaugh Impressed By Hazing Rituals Before They Let You Join Supreme Court

WASHINGTON—Admitting he was surprised by all the tasks required of him in order to enter the prestigious organization, Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh reportedly stated Thursday that he was impressed by the hazing rituals you have to go through before they let you join the Supreme Court.

“Man, I knew the Supreme Court doesn’t let just anyone in, but I’ve got to say, they’ve really made me run the gauntlet and do all this embarrassing stuff—I mean, I had to go on national television with my wife and tell everyone how long I was a virgin,” said Kavanaugh, acknowledging that he had to respect the humiliating challenges he’s been put through to prove himself worthy of the Supreme Court, like showing his high school diary to the entire country and having to face multiple women from his youth who he “didn’t even go all the way with.”

“I did some pretty gnarly stuff back during my fraternity days, so I figured they’d force me to get paddled or chant the Supreme Court motto ‘Equal Justice Under Law’ for a few hours outside in my underwear or stick my thumb up someone’s ass, but this hazing is really putting me through a wringer. But I’ll do whatever I have to if it means they’ll let me be a justice. Supreme Court for life!”

Kavanaugh added that when he had felt especially ashamed during the hazing process, he just reminded himself that this was the same initiation his future Supreme Court brother Clarence Thomas had to endure.

https://politics.theonion.com/kavanaugh-impressed-by-hazing-rituals-before-they-let-y-1829370263

Avenatti on Lawrence O'Donnell now

Rep. Duncan Hunter's campaign denies he implied campaign rival is a radical Muslim

U.S. Rep. Duncan Hunter, the Alpine Republican fighting charges of misusing campaign funds, appeared to suggest in a speech to a women’s group that his election opponent is a “radical Muslim” and part of an attempt by Islamists to infiltrate the federal government.

“He changed his name from Ammar Yasser Najjar to Ammar Campa-Najjar so he sounds Hispanic,” Hunter said Monday night, according to audio of the event recorded by Ken Stone of the Times of San Diego.

“He just changed it again; he added a Joseph in there,” Hunter can be heard saying on the audio recording. “So his signs could actually say Joseph Campa or, or something. That is how hard, by the way, that the radical Muslims are trying to infiltrate the U.S. government. You had more Islamists run for office this year at the federal level than ever before in U.S. history.”

Hunter made comments about his Democratic challenger, a 29-year-old Palestinian Mexican American who worked in the Obama administration Transportation Department, during a speech Monday at an Intermountain Republican Women Federated meeting at a winery in the San Diego County community of Ramona.

http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/us-politics/la-pol-na-duncan-hunter-islam-20180926-story.html

Trump Brags That He Got Much Bigger Laughs at U.N. Than Obama

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Calling his speech to the United Nations General Assembly on Tuesday “an unbelievable success,” Donald J. Trump bragged that he “got much bigger laughs than Obama.”

“When Obama spoke at the U.N. he did not get a single laugh—not one,” Trump told reporters. “I feel sorry for the people who had to sit through his speeches. They weren’t funny at all.”

In contrast, Trump said, “I killed at the U.N.” “I had them rolling in the aisles,” he said. “Once I started hearing those big laughs, I thought, Poor li’l Obama, he’s going to be so jealous.”

Trump called the United Nations a “tough crowd” for comedy because the audience is composed of people from around the globe. “I’m sure the crooked media won’t give me credit for this, but I’m the only person who can make the whole world laugh,” he said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-brags-that-he-got-much-bigger-laughs-at-un-than-obama

Chinese man living in Chicago arrested for allegedly spying on behalf of Chinese government

Source: Chicago Tribune

Federal prosecutors say a Chinese citizen living in Chicago has been arrested for spying on U.S. engineers and scientists, including defense contractors, on behalf of the Chinese government.

Authorities said Tuesday 27-year-old Ji Chaoqun has been charged with one count of knowingly acting in the U.S. as an agent of a foreign government without prior notification of the attorney general. They say he worked at the direction of high-ranking intelligence officials with the People's Republic of China and was tasked with providing information about eight people for possible recruitment.

Ji was scheduled to appear Tuesday afternoon in federal court in Chicago.

A criminal complaint says Ji came to the U.S. in 2013 on a student visa to study engineering at the Illinois Institute of Technology in Chicago. He enlisted in the U.S. Army Reserves in 2016.

Read more: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-chicago-arrested-spying-chinese-government-20180925-story.html

Rep. Duncan Hunter praises Trump, goes off on DOJ 'corruption' and 'Islamist' opponent

Speaking before a crowd of supporters in Ramona Monday, a fired-up Rep. Duncan Hunter continued to back President Trump’s policies, blasted those who are trying to bring the president down and suggested his Democratic opponent is an "Islamist" that is part of an effort to infiltrate the U.S. government.

The 50th District Republican congressman spoke at an event to honor military veterans several hours after he and his wife appeared in a San Diego courtroom as part of the campaign funding misuse case against them.

The Hunters face accusations of spending more than $250,000 in campaign funds on personal expenses. Hunter and his wife Margaret have pleaded not guilty to the federal charges.

Ken Stone of Times of San Diego reported Hunter touched on numerous topics during his appearance, including his congressional opponent, the border wall and a political “coup” that is attempting to undermine Trump.

https://www.10news.com/news/rep-duncan-hunter-praises-trump-goes-off-on-doj-corruption-and-islamist-opponent

I sure hope this fucking asshole gets his just desserts.