January 30, 2014

What really offends the "rabid racist trolls" about Gracie's family

is that there isn't a white male involved.

Gracie is a living monument to her mother's preference to a black man over a white one -- and now that she has a little brother coming, it means her mom had sex with him MORE than once -- probably WILLINGLY!!!



This Swiffer commercial, on the other hand (and if you'll pardon the expression), has barely made a ripple because it's the lesser of two evils. A black woman desiring a white man, while not "ideal," is at the very least "logical!"





rocktivity

January 16, 2014

Her mention of Rob Blagojevich brings back memories

It's time to play "Name That Goon!"




rocktivity

January 15, 2014

And here are the mistakes that YOU made, Governor Soprano

1. Not realizing that since it involves more than one state, the Port Authority of New York AND New Jersey can be investigated federally. You thought that promoting the PA contact who initiated the traffic closing and turning your chief of staff into the new state attorney general would shut down any investigation on the state level, and that would be that.

2. Not putting the nomination of your chief of staff on hold immediately and calling for a federal investigation yourself. That would have made it at least look like you wanted the most objective investigation possible.

3. Complaining to NY governor Andrew Cuomo that his executive director at the Port Authority was being too nosy. That indisputably makes you part of the coverup (if not the crime itself) and confirms that you knew there was no Ft. Lee traffic study.

4. Having your crew -- I mean, senior staff -- do their email communicating privately rather than on the government servers to avoid detection because they would have been on public record. I think this was done with your knowledge and consent because if you were innocent, you would have fired them -- not allowed them to resign -- for that alone, and at least a month sooner.

5. And here's your biggest mistake of all: successfully cultivating such a vindictive, despotic, lying, bullying cult of personality that the idea of Bridge(t)-gate happening without your consent brings an entirely new dimension to the concept of cognitive dissonance. All whom you've victimized and terrorized are creeping out into the sunlight now, and their stories reveal a pattern of behavior that puts the possibility of your being innocent light years beyond a reasonable doubt.

And I thought that Bon Jovi were the only New Jerseyites who could give me so much pleasure.


rocktivity

January 12, 2014

It's the Eleventh Annual Rocktivity/DU "You Call This NEWS?" Awards!

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Thank you, and a tip of my tiara in welcome! This is the beginning of our second decade, and I would like to open this year's ceremonies with some dedications.

In case you don't already know, MiddleFingerMom, our DU Lounge lizard du tutti DU Lounge lizards, is no longer with us. To say that his extraordinary personality and talent will be sorely missed is of course an understatement. But keeping him close to us is as easy as reviewing his posts, and it has been suggested that the Lounge be renamed in his honor -- a sentiment I heartily endorse.

And in case you don't know, I'm a Jersey girl who nicknamed its current governor Chris Christie "Governor Soprano" years ago. I didn't realize how right I was, and we've touched only the tip of the iceberg of this George Washington Bridge(t) scandal. I also dedicate this year's ceremony to Shawn Boburg of the Bergen Record and Rachel Maddow of MSNBC for refusing to back down on this story. Here's hoping that next year's ceremony will be full of Christie-related entries (minus the fat jokes, please) while his political future sleeps with the fishes.

As I read through the past ten years' worth of awards, an evolutionary process reveals itself -- from just one line to a complete thread; from choosing entries from Latest Breaking News only to choosing them from all DU forums and groups. Eleven years ago, I found myself replying "You call this NEWS?" to stories that seemed too redundant, outdated, or both to qualify as actual journalism. More recently, I've been coming across too many "real" stories that I would have bet my first-born male child were from The Onion or Andy Borowitz -- a new subcategory is born!

Now let's get to this years' awards -- unless you'd like to go through the archives first:


[div style="text-align:center"]PREVIOUS AWARD WINNERS
2003 - Bush's Ancestor's Bank Seized (Grandad - Germany/Nazi)
2004 - Cheney May Help or Hinder Bush's Chances


[div style="text-align:center"]PREVIOUS AWARD CEREMONIES
2005 - U.S. Army Report: Military Lost Dominance In Iraq After Invasion
2006 - Iraq On Brink Of Becoming A Failed State
2007 - Iraqis Blame U.S. Invasion For Discord
2008 - Bush sees no recession coming
2009 - Bottled water sales dry up - Industry Asks 'Why?'
2010 - Former Head of FEMA says Bush Administration Downplayed Severity of Hurricane Katrina
2011 - Wal-Mart: Our Shoppers Are "Running Out Of Money"
2012 - CIA Docs Confirm: Cheney Is A Liar!


[div class="excerpt" style="text-align:center;border: 2px #000000 ridge"]ELEVENTH ANNUAL ROCKTIVITY DU/LBN "YOU CALL THIS NEWS?" AWARDS WINNERS


[div style="text-align:center"]SPECIAL ACHEIVEMENT AWARD
Fox Accidentally Uses Photo of Same-Sex Couple to Illustrate Importance of Heterosexual Marriage
Media Source: FoxNews.com
Posted by: kpete

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Good for them! Oh, and fuck Fox News."
-- NYC_SKIP


[div style="text-align:center"]SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT "NOT FROM THE ONION" AWARDS
Orlando CBS Affiliate Apologizes For Airing Jags Football Game
Media Source: Yahoo Sports.com
Posted by: NightWatcher

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The Raiders vs. the Jaguars has almost no appeal, unless you're in Jacksonville quarterback Chad Henne's immediate family."
-- NightWatcher/Frank Schwab


Advice to a Republican awaiting his prison term
Media Source: Courier Journal.com
Posted by: alfredo

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "If Farmer survives prison...(h)e could always become an evangelist and shear the 'sheep.' Chuck Colson did that and made a good living. "
-- alfredo



[div style="text-align:center"]HONORABLE MENTIONDick Armey dishes dirt accidentally
Media Source: Maddowblog.msnbc.com
Posted by: muriel_volestrangler

Dick Armey had no idea he was speaking to the left-wing Media Matters organization during an interview last week...Instead, Armey thought he was chatting with the conservative Media Research Center...

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Do Penis Navy and Schlong Marines know what any of this means?"
-- LW1977


[div style="text-align:center"]HONORABLE MENTION: "TO FIGURE THIS OUT, YOU HAD TO DO A FREAKING STUDY?" CATEGORY

(New York) City Report Shows a Growing Number Are Near Poverty
Media Source: New York Times
Posted by: alp227

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'All the news that's fit for the eyes of the One Percent' should be their new motto."
-- LiberalEsto


Govt Report: We Wasted a Ton of Money in Iraq
Media Source: AP / TalkingPointsMemo.com
Posted by: meegbear

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'Wasted' is not exactly the right word.
Embezzled?
Pilfered?
Kicked-back?
Siphoned?
All of the above?"
-- unblock


[div style="text-align:center"]THIRD RUNNER UP
New Report Warns That Drones Could Be Used for Stalking, Voyeurism
Media Source: Slate
Posted by: Redfairen

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The report further suggest Drones will make great marital aids and sex toys. Bedrooms will need to be enlarged to accommodate take off and landings."
-- Katashi_itto


[div style="text-align:center"]SECOND RUNNER UP
As inauguration approaches, Obama’s most virulent foes want the celebration stopped
Media Source: Washington Post
Posted by: Faygo Kid

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "We have had the accountability moment...Obama won. And any criticism now would be un-American.*
*The George W. Bush model. And I intend to stick to it."
-- bluestateguy



[div style="text-align:center"]FIRST RUNNER UP
Colin Powell Rebukes GOP: "I Am A Republican" but "GOP Has A Dark Vein Of Intolerance"
Media Source: Meet The Press (NBC TV)
Posted by: egbertowillies

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "It's a new era, bro. You don't have to dance forever with the one what brung ya, especially when that one disrespected you through most of the prom."
-- MADem



[div class="excerpt" style="border: 2px #000000 ridge"][div style="text-align:center"] AND THE WINNER OF THE ELEVENTH ANNUAL
ROCKTIVITY/DU "YOU CALL THIS NEWS?" AWARDS:
It's official: Pope has not abolished sin, says Vatican
Media Source: Reuters/Yahoo
Posted by: MindMover

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Goddamn it -- it took me an hour to inflate this sheep."
-- Orsino

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Congratulations to the winners, and I thank all DU-ers without whose intestinal fortitude in reading these stories these awards cannot happen. Now it's time for the annual after party: this year, Chris Christie gets the bar bill; and as usual, any clothing that gets stuck in the chandelier will be donated to charity.


rocktivity