Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:18 PM Aug 2020

Do old people tend to sleep a lot?

I have a concern.

It seems that is all he does these days is sleep.

*snore* *snore* *snore* is all I hear these days.

It this typical for a male in his mid-80's?

Please let me know as I'm taking him to the doctor on Friday.

Thank you for any help at all re: this subject.

CountAllVotes

31 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Do old people tend to sleep a lot? (Original Post) CountAllVotes Aug 2020 OP
Many medications Ohiogal Aug 2020 #1
He is not taking any medications much CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #3
Not in my experience SheltieLover Aug 2020 #2
Thanks, I'll let you know! CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #4
Sounds like could be depression SheltieLover Aug 2020 #6
He has had a lot of loss lately CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #11
That could be it! SheltieLover Aug 2020 #16
If he snores that much, it could impact quality of sleep. Hoyt Aug 2020 #5
The snoring is loud CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #8
Sleep apnea? SheltieLover Aug 2020 #18
Glad you are going to the doctor Kitchari Aug 2020 #7
It is very difficult for me CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #10
Oh, my Kitchari Aug 2020 #12
Snoring can be a sign of sleep apnea DBoon Aug 2020 #9
They may nap a bit more during the day, but unless they are on certain meds, that is not normal. hlthe2b Aug 2020 #13
This same doctor did a B.S. ZOOM appt. as a "Well Person Physical" in June CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #15
As others have commented, you truly have to take care of yourself first... hlthe2b Aug 2020 #19
I see a nurse practitioner for my own care CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #20
Maybe he's bored. LakeArenal Aug 2020 #14
He can only see out of one eye and he is about 60% deaf CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #17
Sounds like my dad. LakeArenal Aug 2020 #21
I am sleeping more in my old age Chainfire Aug 2020 #22
More satisfying than sleep CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #29
I would be concerned that his problem is clinical depression Chainfire Aug 2020 #30
Do not take his inattention personally. Most likely he cannot help his present condition. No Vested Interest Aug 2020 #31
Can he go for walks? Talk to doctor about a CPAP machine...he may need a lot of sleep Karadeniz Aug 2020 #23
My husband is 85 and while he is staying in bed longer MLAA Aug 2020 #24
Likely that sleep apnea is at least part of the problem. No Vested Interest Aug 2020 #25
A few questions for you... Trueblue Texan Aug 2020 #26
I don't know CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #27
Update: CountAllVotes Aug 2020 #28

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
3. He is not taking any medications much
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:36 PM
Aug 2020

Just one pill for high blood pressure and a very low dose.

He is asleep right now in fact and its 3:30 PM.

That is all he does it seems to me is sleep and snore.

My what a fun life!

This is sure getting old, as old as he is! *sigh*

He is really good at lying so you never know what the reality is until hell has about froze over.

SheltieLover

(57,073 posts)
2. Not in my experience
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:31 PM
Aug 2020

Could be depression?

Usually elders sleep fewer hours, often up during night. Sleep a few hrs & up a few hours.

But, everyone is different.

Appetite & mental health ok?

Please keep us posted.

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
4. Thanks, I'll let you know!
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:38 PM
Aug 2020

I'm running out of energy having to do everything around the house.

He doesn't seem capable of doing anything because he is asleep all of the time.

Tomorrow someone is coming over to work on the yard, something he used to enjoy doing. Now he says he doesn't care and doesn't give a sh*t about it.

That's real nice for him but it puts a huge load on me and my health is already shitty!



SheltieLover

(57,073 posts)
6. Sounds like could be depression
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:43 PM
Aug 2020

But if he's not feeling well physically, could have same effect.

So sorry you are going through this.

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
11. He has had a lot of loss lately
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:02 PM
Aug 2020

His brother and sister died recently. One was 87 and the other 85.

He has one sibling left. The other nine have all died.

I'm glad I came from a very small family as this is an ugly picture.

SheltieLover

(57,073 posts)
16. That could be it!
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:19 PM
Aug 2020

My dad was a real character who passed away 12 yrs ago, near age 89.

Each day, he would grab the newspaper, go immediately to obits & make hash marks on a running list he kept hanging on fridge of people he had known who had passed.

Not saying this is true of everyone, but I think loss has a tremendous impact.

Maybe you can help him by chatting about his most outstanding accomplishments.

In Eric Erickson's psych theory, people go through 8 stages, generally speaking. The last one is end of life review. If people are not content with what they have accomplished, they can become quite depressed.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK556096/

Perhaps doc can refer to tele mental health provider?

Just a thought.

 

Hoyt

(54,770 posts)
5. If he snores that much, it could impact quality of sleep.
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:41 PM
Aug 2020

As someone above pointed out, depression could be an issue, or any number of other problem.

Good luck at docs.

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
8. The snoring is loud
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:46 PM
Aug 2020

It is so loud I sleep in the other room with the DOOR CLOSED!

That is how LOUD it is!

Depression? I don't know. I just don't know!

Kitchari

(2,157 posts)
7. Glad you are going to the doctor
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:46 PM
Aug 2020

Could be a lot of things. As a caregiver in recent years to my (now deceased) mother, I urge you to also take care of YOU. Is there a local kid who could mow the lawn? I used to hire one for 10 bucks every 2 weeks, front yard only, but our lawn is relatively small. He was a middle schooler.

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
10. It is very difficult for me
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:54 PM
Aug 2020

My health is shot to hell already!

Right now I have another infection (I have MS).

I'm on another round of antibiotics right now and trying to work until breaking a sweat is too much!

I found someone to come over that has a hefty lawn mower and an edger. Hopefully she'll be able to cut, trim, etc. in 2 hrs. or LESS I hope! She charges $20 an hr.

Seems no one wants to work for less than $15/hr. these days!



Kitchari

(2,157 posts)
12. Oh, my
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:04 PM
Aug 2020

So stressful! So glad you are taking him to the doctor! Hope you see a doctor soon too and tell them about YOUR stress. In the meantime, remember the old adage about putting on your own oxygen mask first. I neglected myself during my caregiving years and I'm still paying the price. I encourage you to put yourself first, my friend--not being selfish or neglectful of him, but being caring and reasonable about your own "bandwidth" and what you can realistically handle.

DBoon

(22,285 posts)
9. Snoring can be a sign of sleep apnea
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 06:49 PM
Aug 2020

which reduces the quality of sleep, hence more sleep time is required.

hlthe2b

(101,714 posts)
13. They may nap a bit more during the day, but unless they are on certain meds, that is not normal.
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:10 PM
Aug 2020

A lot of possible causes, but he may well need a thorough physical exam.

If you have any way of obtaining it, an accurate blood pressure (even from an over-the-counter digital wrist unit) and oxygen saturation (from one of those fingertip pulse oximeters--even an athletic grade model) could be very useful information to convey to the physician or other health care provider. You might find that you have neighbors with this equipment. They aren't hard to use.

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
15. This same doctor did a B.S. ZOOM appt. as a "Well Person Physical" in June
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:18 PM
Aug 2020

Seriously ...

It was a total joke!

No blood work ordered, no nothing.

He then asked me if I had any health care directives for him. I replied, "Yes, I gave them to YOUR OFFICE several years ago!".

Seems they cannot find them so I had to mail them copies of the documents executed in 1998!

This "doctor" is from a doctor mill sort of place.

I am worried abt. his overall competency I must admit!

He knows I have MS and was shocked to learn this abt. me being I'm not in a wheelchair.

However, if I keep this up much longer, I am screwed!

I can't keep it up!

hlthe2b

(101,714 posts)
19. As others have commented, you truly have to take care of yourself first...
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:22 PM
Aug 2020

Like the mother grabbing the oxygen mask before putting it on her child.

It may well be that a PA or Nurse Practitioner would give you a more attentive consultation.

I'm part of our health care system, but I can NOT defend it in many many respects. I wish you the best. I truly do.

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
20. I see a nurse practitioner for my own care
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:25 PM
Aug 2020

I told her about it. She advised me to give him MORE RESPONSIBILITY and to not cater to him.

Likely good advice but following it is another story.

I want my dinner!

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
17. He can only see out of one eye and he is about 60% deaf
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:21 PM
Aug 2020

He doesn't seem to give a shit about anything. That includes me.

I'm so sick of this B.S.

All he wants is his dinner. If there is no dinner he gets all P.O.'d at me.

I can only do SO MUCH!

I got him hearing aids last year and he won't wear them.

Same goes for the dentures.

On and on it goes.

I pay the bills and he snores away!

I am tired!

LakeArenal

(28,713 posts)
21. Sounds like my dad.
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:41 PM
Aug 2020

Would it be better if you were him?

Caretaker is the hardest job on earth. Hope you get some help through Social Services.
We used to think a church might help.

Do you have a local meals on wheels? Maybe there are volunteers to sit him while you get a break.

Maybe a neighbor might have him over a couple times a week. Even an hour for you would help.

Good luck.

Chainfire

(17,305 posts)
22. I am sleeping more in my old age
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 07:47 PM
Aug 2020

I consider it practice for the big sleep.

The real problem is finding something new and interesting to do that is more satisfying than sleep.

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
29. More satisfying than sleep
Sat Aug 8, 2020, 02:33 PM
Aug 2020

Maybe he is bored, I don't know.

That said, there is plenty of work that needs to be done around here as he snores away.

I just paid someone $25 an hr. to work on the yard that he used to ENJOY maintaining.

I just don't know anymore that is for sure!

I guess I am not a satisfying enough person waiting on him hand and foot (literally!) to stay awake for! How sad!

I told him this last night. He was in the other room and wanted me to turn the volume up louder on the speakers on my desktop. I told him it hurt my ears and why can he not come into the same room and sit with me and listen? He then came into the room and ...

= me.

Chainfire

(17,305 posts)
30. I would be concerned that his problem is clinical depression
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 09:09 AM
Aug 2020

Perhaps you should talk to the doctor. Depression can make people lethargic. I know that the effects of the virus, being shut in, has made my depression worse. I have been finding it hard to do not only chores, but to participate in my hobbies. It is much easier to put my brain in neutral and binge watch TV.

Don't mistake "boredom" for a more serious problem.

No Vested Interest

(5,156 posts)
31. Do not take his inattention personally. Most likely he cannot help his present condition.
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 10:02 PM
Aug 2020

My spouse, at a much younger age, became completely listless and disinterested in everything for periods of several months, then would almost literally rebound and we would then take off for trips for awhile, then the disinterest in life would set in again for months.

Everyone, including physicians, thought it was depression, and he took meds and saw a psychiatrist for several years; even had an electroshock session.

Long story short, he was eventually diagnosed with a vascular/brain disease called amyloidal angiopathy, for which there is no cure, and after many years in long-term care, died of the condition.
All very sad, as he was a good man.

Your husband is an aging human being, likely with conditions beyond his control.
Do what you can for yourself and your own condition, and try to remove judgement from his inaction and sleeping.

Karadeniz

(22,267 posts)
23. Can he go for walks? Talk to doctor about a CPAP machine...he may need a lot of sleep
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 08:14 PM
Aug 2020

Because his sleep is unhelpful.

MLAA

(17,163 posts)
24. My husband is 85 and while he is staying in bed longer
Wed Aug 5, 2020, 09:18 PM
Aug 2020

than he use to in the morning, he doesn’t sleep during the day.

Dear count all votes, I am seeing a lot of recent research on the benefits of a plant based diet on MS. If you google Dr McDougal and MS you’ll find some compelling results. There is also a movie called Code Blue about a woman Dr who struggled and progressively got worse with her MS until she started investigating nutrition.

💖💖💖💖💖

No Vested Interest

(5,156 posts)
25. Likely that sleep apnea is at least part of the problem.
Thu Aug 6, 2020, 01:58 AM
Aug 2020

A CPAP is a wonderful thing; can give one back more of one's life.

There may be other underlying conditions as well, considering his age.

Trueblue Texan

(2,371 posts)
26. A few questions for you...
Thu Aug 6, 2020, 07:23 AM
Aug 2020

Is he eating and drinking normally? If not it could signal illness. I've also observed that when folks only are interested in sleeping and show little interest in eating, interacting with life as usual, they seem to be embracing the transition that comes after life. Can you get him interested in his favorite food? If not...could be the beginning of the end or illness.

In general, older folks do enjoy sleeping more than the rest of us, but if it's outside their normal pattern, something else is probably going on. Could be medication-related or illness.

CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
27. I don't know
Thu Aug 6, 2020, 03:18 PM
Aug 2020

I've got to take him to see the doctor tomorrow as he has a swollen/painful ankle.

This has been going on for a month now.

I think it is arthritis as they've xrayed it in the past.

Hopefully, I'll know more soon.

Thank you for your tips and ideas.

I'll let everyone know how it goes after tomorrow!

Thanks again!!



CountAllVotes

(20,854 posts)
28. Update:
Sat Aug 8, 2020, 02:10 PM
Aug 2020

Firstly, thanks to all that replied to my post.

I took him to his doctor yesterday. However, I did not go in with him as there is a COVID-19 outbreak close by right now and I'm not supposed to be out AT ALL myself due to the MS I have.

Anyway, he went in and the doctor looked at his ankle and told him that he needs to wear the compression socks whether he likes them or not and that he needs to be walking. The doctor said this is due to thining of the veins as one ages and that is why his ankle is swollen up. It is not a huge swelling, only abt. 1" bigger than the other foot. It seems the doctor was quite annoyed that he was there!

That was abt. the end of the visit. I did slip them a note when we first got there mentioning the sleeping/snoring, etc. These issues were not addressed at all.

The doctor gave him nothing at all for the pain.

After that I went to the store, bought him more compression socks, groceries and brought him home. I was in bed asleep for 12 hrs. myself as I was exhausted from all of this and he is in bed right now snoring away!

That is sort of the end of the story. I seriously wish I had a whole lot more to report believe me!

Thanks again everyone.

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Elder-caregivers»Do old people tend to sle...