I like the term Mansplain woo Woo

[JustAnotherGen]

This is posted in HOF - don't confuse it with another thread

So who else uses it?

I think it's an excellent way to to sum up an experience that is very unique to women.

It's one of those things that is just between us.

What am I missing here? And what does it have to do with any real issues . . .

Like I don't know - the recent ruling by the Scrotum Five on the SCOTUS <----because those men all have scrotums . . . Or equal pay. Or Voting Rights.


You know - things that actually matter to women and what I believe is a silent majority of men at DU.


So here you go - lets take the power back and control the conversation. If you like the terminology Mansplain to sum up what you have experienced in life. And if you refuse to stop using it becase it would take energy and effort to do so - energy and effort better spent on getting pro women's rights candidates elected this fall-

Check in.

[NYC_SKP]

1. I think I "get" the idea of controlling the message, but I think it could backfire.

The men to whom this epithet is rightly directed would either not get it or would become even bigger assholes.

Meanwhile, those who may be neutral or on the fence might find use of the term unproductive or broadbrushing.

These people are the ones we most want to convince of our arguments and points of view, the others being beyond hope.

I always prefer straight objective talk about gender and other issues and want to let the losing side of issues be the ones who use language as a bludgeon.

JMHO.

[JustAnotherGen]

4. I agree with what you are saying

But we have to make sure we don't get mired in stuff that take our eyes off the prize. We have to stop these Dominionists now - and the House is the way to do that.

Mansplain - it pales in comparison to a woman's right to manage endometriosis.

That woman in physical pain - I'm sure she could care less about some guy at the other end of the Internet having hurt feelings over a common phenomena.

Control the convo so we are talking about issues that have economic and health impact.

[JI7]

12. from my experience those who are offended by this have a history of being anti women

those who i have found who actually do support and care for women's rights don't complain about these things.

i can use the same examples when it comes to things like race and other issues.

in fact these type of things often show who is really on your side.

why is it that there are guys who are not offended at all by this ? what makes them feel this way and not others ?

[JustAnotherGen]

14. I think they are the silent majority

The men who are not offended by this word.

[JI7]

17. i hope so, if we go by this forum it's the same few who are always offended

and posting sexist things all the time.

but i have seen people who are not regular posters but may check in from time to time and notice these threads and they will get it. and of course there are a few regulars who are good on these issues also.

[NYC_SKP]

36. I'm not offended, maybe because I was raised in an all woman household...

I often say that I didn't get "man lessons".

No regrets...

I'm being circumspect.

I find it to be a funny term, and apt in so many cases, but I wouldn't overuse it lest it lower the level of discourse.

[redqueen]

41. This, exactly. It's the same as those who howl in outrage about the term 'white privilege' nt

[babylonsister]

2. I do also; I have mainly man friends, and they're always

giving me directions, how to do this, that, and the other, but sometimes it's not warranted. Conversely, I can do the same. I never knew there was a name for it, but imo, it's okay.

[bravenak]

3. Power tools.

My husband mansplains the powerdrill to me everytime i've used it for the past ten years. I am the one who bought it.

[JustAnotherGen]

5. My husband Mansplains

To me about how I apply mascara. *smh*

[bravenak]

6. Oh, that is unusual.

I told you i like G. He is too funny!

[JustAnotherGen]

7. It's the straight pins

I use to separate in betweens coats - evidently that is FROWNED upon!

[bravenak]

8. Oh, no!

You don't use the eyebrow comb for that? I better explain how you should do it right then. Joking!!!
My husband steals my eyeliner for his little construction projects. I have no idea why. He explained it to me but, it makes no sense.

[JustAnotherGen]

9. I use the Audrey Hepburn method.

Tom Hanks impression. - there are noooooo lash comb in five coats of mascara! And you need to start hiding your eyeliner!

[bravenak]

11. I will.

I got some new good ones and i gave him the covergirl.

[littlemissmartypants]

18. Ask him to mansplain it and see what you get. nt

[bravenak]

21. He refused to answer.

Now he's laughing at me.

[LuvLoogie]

22. He doesn't want you to stick a pin in your eye, for Pete's sake.

Or drive while your doing it...

[bravenak]

23. Of course.

He worries about my safety. All the time.

[JustAnotherGen]

27. Audrey never did that

Sometimes I wake up, realize I have a dilemma - and consult my What Would Audrey Do book?

Anything she could do I can do better - except act. But I got much farther as a ballerina than she did!

[NYC_SKP]

37. Oh, and here I thought you meant that was a good term for some jerks: "Power Tools"

Real "tools" on power trips...

[delrem]

10. I like your femsplainaition.

[JustAnotherGen]

13. Thanks

We get wrapped up in convos by folks who don't think highly of us. Better to focus on things that matter.


What's your opinion on the Scrotum five these days? Think that code of conduct bill can get a few ejected?

[delrem]

15. I can't understand it.

I can't understand how the US could be so backward, in 2014.
This wasn't on my radar back in the olden days.

Backward in EVERY sector.

There needs a holistic solution.

[LuvLoogie]

16. Chanel gets it.

[littlemissmartypants]

20. Yes. Loved 22 but they did away with it.

I also love the French, my ancestors.

[jmowreader]

19. I can't stand it

It's the new "it's a black thing, you wouldn't understand."

You would be amazed at how much we understand if we try.

[littlemissmartypants]

24. You are correct. Plenty of men understand woman things.

They are the ones that are interested. They seem to see beyond the flesh and bones really taking the time and chance to understand. Maybe we could selectively breed for them.

[JustAnotherGen]

30. I don't know

If I write - Garbage Plate - it's a Rochester thing - you wouldn't understand.

Ditto - street meat.

Now when I go back home to Rochester - I've learned (after 8 years in New Jersey) to not say - let's get a pie. Unless I want some sugary confection late at night. It's a tri-state area thing they wouldn't understand.

If I write - tender headed or ashy - it is a black thing - and one might not understand or they might understand. Who knows? But it's a black thing I fully understand.

If I write about my experience a decade ago where my water bra exploded - its a woman thing the average man can't understand. Or if I start talking about breast adenomas and why my OB-Gyn suggested the water bra based on his feedback from patients as a result of being a doctor committed to the health and care of women for 40 years - its a woman thing that most men wouldn't understand.

We aren't all the same - and Mansplain wraps up the experience and behavior that irritates the fuck out of me.

[noiretextatique]

51. a more apt and fitting analogy is bill o'reilly, bundy, or the duck dynasty dude

whitesplaining black people. the black thing you may or may not understand is not the same a telling someone you know more about her experience than she does.

[MadrasT]

25. It is a very real phenomenon...

...the term is of limited use because the men who do it, are usually the same ones who get pissed off if you call it "mansplaining".

Hell, they get pissed off if you point out they are doing it without using the word "mansplain."

If you say that their words of contradiction, correction, and explanatory "helpfulness" are in any way anything less the Great Nuggets of Wisdom that you are eternally grateful for, they blow a fuse.

So I think the word is useful to describe a specific behavior, but not useful to communicate to men that do it that the behavior is problematic.

In my experience, anyway.

[Squinch]

26. I think most men are guilty of mansplaining at some time or

another. Those who understand that it is not a good thing are not alarmed by having it pointed out to them, and the word is a very good description of the thing.

But as you say, those-who-must-be-attended-to will never get that their explanations are unwanted.

I would bet money though that the same ones who are horrified to have their mansplaining pointed out are the ones who complain about how hard it is to be a man, because men have to "always solve the problems," and "everyone looks to the man in the room for leadership." Which seems to be a pretty common delusion among a certain subset of men.

[MadrasT]

28. I shit you not

I am right in the middle of a round of it in real life:

Me: "When you continually correct and explain MY OWN WORDS AND THOUGHTS to me, it is offputting and not helpful and makes me feel like you are being dismissive and trying to lord your intellect over mine. It feels condescending and patronizing and I don't like it and it makes me not want to talk with you."

Him (in a nutshell): "The problem is you, you are being too emotional and taking everything too personally. I am not correcting you."

^^^ IRONICALLY, "CORRECTING ME" WITH THE REPLY ^^^



Oh no, it can't POSSIBLY be him.

Might I be a little too sensitive on occasion? Perhaps. But fuck... I am too old for this shit.

Edit to add: and I never even used the word "mansplain".

[Squinch]

29. Hmmmm... Using the arguments, "The problem is you," and

"I am not correcting you," in the same breath to show how you are not mansplaining. Very interesting tactic!



Hang in there.

[noiretextatique]

56. we are always too emotion...or hysterical

Funny how some men don't see the stereotype.

[JustAnotherGen]

31. I really don't mind when my husband

Mansplains to me. He's usually just trying to solve a problem. You should hear his explanation as to why he's outside on the patio with a lawn rake trying to kill wasps this morning.

I listened and decided I was just going to let this behavior bite him on the ass.

He's standing in front of me with the rake as I type this.

[Squinch]

32. LOL!

And I also get the need to talk around a problem in order to solve it, so I often let it pass as well.

I have a visual of a guy swiping at the air with a rake and then ducking.

[JustAnotherGen]

33. Nailed it!

Unfortunately my cell died yesterday or I would have a YouTube video to share. He's even wearing cammo shorts this morning. The Great Hunter of the North I tell ya! Can't make this shit up!

[MadrasT]

38. That "problem solving" business is one thing. I get that.

It's when I say something, and he corrects it to tell me what I really meant that is maddening.

Or when I say something about MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, and he tells me my interpretation and sharing of my own experience is faulty. (Basically, "You didn't experience that... your perception is warped... let me tell you how you should really think about that from the lofty heights of my Enlightened Awareness.&quot

That is bordering on gaslighting, actually.

Ugh.

[JustAnotherGen]

39. It's point blank gas lighting

He is not seeing you as separate from him. Let me guess - he also says, "Put yourself in my shoes" when he is mad right?

I stopped my husband from doing that six months into dating. I don't just "magically know" what you are thinking or perspective. When those people do that they are frustrated that we aren't mind readers and replicants that are exactly like them.

And you know what Madras? You should be frustrated when he does this. You know your own mind - not his. Doesn't matter how he Mansplains it or how many times he does it - you know your own mind and perspective.

[JustAnotherGen]

40. P. S. I know it's childish

But I got my then boyfriend to stop - literally mid Mansplain Stream by telling him - You aren't the boss of me.

Not one of my better moments as an adult - but at least I'm honest enough to put my behavior out there for the world to see.

See if that works. Say it then walk away. It won't be a finer moment for you - but I bet it works.

[awoke_in_2003]

48. if you are killing wasps

do it around 2AM, that is when they are sleeping.

[mercuryblues]

53. LOL

My husband and I had a conversation about wasps this morning and a rake never came up.

[chervilant]

34. I've witnessed plenty of mansplaining

right here on this website...

[JustAnotherGen]

35. Me too

And the thing is - it is from men I don't know or trust. Or respect for that matter.

[redqueen]

42. I just got it in the thread about the feminist professors shaving assignment.

[JustAnotherGen]

45. Let me go find it!

[redqueen]

43. Unbelievable.

A dude who defends anti female slurs is oh so helpfully explaining the point of the extra credit assignment in gender studies to me. (Hint - its not so much about experiences related to gender roles as it is common experiences like itchiness! You're welcome ladies!)

I think it might be performance art

[JustAnotherGen]

44. I've received some nice emails

From a few men at DU today - they ae being quiet on this thread for a reason . . .

They are deferring to us on principle.

I like that - and I like that they are talking amongst themselves.

It's a silent majority RQ and they are with us!

[BainsBane]

46. It's not a term I use

and I can't say I know when exactly it applies.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

50. you know what, I understand that coming from you and I never use it either -

Here on DU3 I see it and understand when it is happening. In my real life, I am at a point in my career where I have gained knowledge and respect and very rarely do men try this on my any more.

I can vaguely recall where it could have been happening in my younger days and in a different more male oriented career.

[ismnotwasm]

47. I think I posted this before-- the history of ' mansplaining

Rebecca Solnit is a decorated author and activist, but she may be best-known for the word she added to our lexicon: “mansplaining.” Mansplaining was born from a 2008 blog post in which Solnit wrote: “Men explain things to me, and other women, whether or not they know what they’re talking about.” Since then, “mansplaining” has taken the culturesphere by storm, getting named one of the New York Times’ “words of the year” and inspiring countless think pieces. Solnit has been writing elegant, sharp essays and books for more than two decades — her latest book, also called “Men Explain Things to Me,” released today, is a collection of seven essays about this particular facet of the modern gender wars. On the whole her work spans a broad spectrum of subjects ranging from literature, art, philosophy, anti-militarism and the environment. It is feminist, frequently funny, unflinchingly honest and often scathing in its conclusions. In 2010, the Utne Reader named Solnit, who is the recipient of several literary awards, including a Guggenheim Fellowship and a Lannan literary fellowship, one of 25 Visionaries Who are Changing Your World.

Tell me about writing that first essay from which the name of the book is taken, “Men Explain Things to Me.” As you mention in the book, it is a piece that continues, years after publication, to be shared and discussed.

I’d been joking about writing it for years. Men explaining things to me had been happening my whole life. The infamous incident I described — in which a man talked over me to explain a Very Important Book he thought I should read that it turns out I wrote — happened five years earlier in 2003.

The term “mansplaining” has resonated with so many women. It shifted the cultural universe ever so slightly (in a good way). Did you expect this response?


You know, I had a wonderful conversation about a month ago with a young Ph.D. candidate at U.C. Berkeley. I’ve been a little bit squeamish about the word “mansplaining,” because it can seem to imply that men are inherently flawed, rather than that some guys are a little over-privileged, arrogant and clueless. This young academic said to me, “No, you don’t understand! You need to recognize that until we had the word ‘mainsplained,’ so many women had this awful experience and we didn’t even have a language for it. Until we can name something, we can’t share the experience, we can’t describe it, we can’t respond to it. I think that word has been extraordinarily valuable in helping women and men describe something that goes on all the time.” She really changed my opinion. It’s really useful. I’ve always been interested in how much our problems come from not having the language, not having the framework to think and talk about and address the phenomenon around us.

http://www.salon.com/2014/05/20/men_explain_things_to_me_the_author_behind_mansplaining_on_the_origin_of_her_famous_coinage/

[intaglio]

49. The classic mansplain from the woman who coined the term

Rebecca Solnit -

She was talking to a man at a cocktail party when he asked her what she did. She replied that she wrote books and she described her most recent one, River of Shadows: Eadweard Muybridge and the Technological Wild West. The man interrupted her soon after she said the word Muybridge and asked, "And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?" He then waxed on, based on his reading of a review of the book, not even the book itself, until finally, a friend said, "That's her book." He ignored that friend (also a woman) and she had to say it more than three times before "he went ashen" and walked away.

[Louisiana1976]

52. I also like the term mansplain. It captures perfectly the patronizing tone a man might

take when explaining something to a woman.

[freshwest]

54. So glad my life has been explained to me!

Yes. That is my smiley face.

[JustAnotherGen]

55. Updated my title

To make sure certain people don't have to be bothered by it. See intaglio's recent post as to why I would do this.




http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1255&pid=46879

[mercuryblues]

59. +1

LOL

[ismnotwasm]

57. LOL

[JustAnotherGen]

58. You know

I knew one of you would get a laugh out of my assery running its course!