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backtoblue

(11,343 posts)
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 12:44 PM Jun 2018

DU Loners Poll




13 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
I prefer solitude
6 (46%)
I'd rather not be around people
1 (8%)
I have no family left
0 (0%)
Depression sucks
0 (0%)
I'm too broke to leave the house
1 (8%)
A mixture of the others
4 (31%)
Other reason (please explain. Thanks!)
1 (8%)
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Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll
18 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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TimeSnowDemos

(476 posts)
4. I'm an expat
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 01:06 PM
Jun 2018

And am self-employed.

I do not value 'aquaintences' and would rather be alone working or having out with my family.

The upshot is I'm alone all but 4-5 hours a day, 5 days a week.

samnsara

(17,604 posts)
7. same here.. im a fiber artist so my craft makes for a lot of solitude...
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 01:20 PM
Jun 2018

..also I have 5 acres of forest with a trout pond and creek. I could live off the land here for months if I had to and believe me I have looked around me and assessed what I would need for survival. Why should I leave and go anywhere? When hubby had a job out of town I would be alone up here 4-5 days at a time....neighbors are usually gone or their houses are week end cabins. I talk a lot to my dogs. I love it.

Runningdawg

(4,512 posts)
12. 3 in a row
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 02:45 PM
Jun 2018

I'm retired, hubby still works. I'm alone each day from 4am to 4pm. All of my family is gone, most of my friends live in other states. My MIL is my BF and we get together every Friday night. Most of the time at one of our houses. Hubby, his 2 unmarried brothers and Dad do their thing on the weekends. Summer weekends I travel, sometimes with hubby, sometimes alone, to pow-wows in our area to visit with people I have known since childhood. I've got 2 pit bulls and a cat who are all very good listeners.

SWBTATTReg

(22,065 posts)
5. I'd rather be alone...being profoundly hard of hearing, it's too difficult for me ...
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 01:11 PM
Jun 2018

to deal w/ people, especially in noisy environments, despite the fact I have 2 hearing aids (they pick up too much feedback when you have a noisy environment or lots of people). Thus, I read lips (went to school for)
90% of the time, but this is exhausting.

Talking online, etc. is much better for me, and I don't mistranslate conversations...

backtoblue

(11,343 posts)
11. I'm going to add physical challenges to the poll
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 02:21 PM
Jun 2018

On top of intense anxiety, I have painful lower back problems.

I almost yelled at you in all caps so you could hear me!






On edit: you can't edit a poll...lol I just got my instant karma for almost yelling at you.

SWBTATTReg

(22,065 posts)
13. Thanks for the laugh...I don't mind people 'yelling' at me for it means that ...
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 05:47 PM
Jun 2018

they really care in making sure that I hear them. What really burns me up is those people who, either from lack of foresight or just consideration, constantly seem to forget that I'm extremely hard of hearing. That's the thing about hearing loss...you can look at a person and not be reminded of this handicap. My own immediate family is like this (one of the worst actually), when I go visit. That's probably because they don't deal w/ me very often and when I was a child, just about every interaction was them yelling at me. When I got old enough, and went to work full time in another city, I got my 2nd hearing aid and it was a whole new world.

Quite a few times my mom will mumble her words or talk w/ her back facing me, like I am really picking up things 100% when in fact, I'm not picking up anything and I am having to constantly remind her. This really get frustrating, especially since I've had the loss since birth. I have a sister too that does this.

My really good friends, when I visit, will drop the volume on the TV or whatever loud noise (radio, etc.) so I can hear them, or put the CC (closed caption) on. These people a diamond in the rough, and shows me that they really care.

I am sorry to hear about your back problems...they occur w/ me too, but thank god I haven't had to deal w/ it for a bit of time. Are you taking anything for your back problems when it acts up? Do you exercise too? I find that if I walk sometimes, it seems to help my back out (of course this depends on how severe your back pain is).

Take care of yourself! You have a heart of gold and you are a nice person!

backtoblue

(11,343 posts)
14. You just made my day
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 06:49 PM
Jun 2018

That was really sweet thing to say!


I'm allergic to most pain meds. My neurologist says it's time for surgery, but Ive been putting it off as long as possible. I do some light yoga and try to limit lifting. The lifting thing is hard because I've been by myself so long that I'm used to moving things alone.

I have a friend who is completely deaf. He's honestly one of the funniest people I've ever met. I know very little sign, so we have very interesting conversations lol

SWBTATTReg

(22,065 posts)
17. Thank you. Wow, I am sorry to hear about the pain med. ...
Sun Jun 10, 2018, 08:07 PM
Jun 2018

not being able to help you...when my back was out roughly two months (March/April), I relied on heavily, and also lots of ice packs (I put various size rags in freezer bags, and freeze) and when my back acts up, I use the freezer bags to ice down my back. Really helped. When I'm done w/ the melted ice packs, I put back in the freezer, grab another one if needed, and continue.

I can definitely relate to your deaf friend and the interesting conversations you must have. Folks that deal w/ me make sure that I'm looking at them (I read lips, the hearing aids don't really help much) so I can understand what's going on. The things that I think I heard vs. what was actually said make for some interesting times and lots of laughs. It's a good thing you're doing, engaging your deaf friend regardless of your ability to 'officially communicate via sign'...you don't really need to sign, or anything like that, usually the deaf person will be able to read your lips and/or constitute the conversation to get the meaning of it.

Good for you two. A new week is coming up, and it looks hot, although it's supposed to cool down. I'll believe it when I see it!

Take care and drop me a note occasionally...would be nice to keep in touch!

Best wishes!

samnsara

(17,604 posts)
6. i live 12 miles from town... just to get get milk takes 2 hrs total..
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 01:17 PM
Jun 2018

...in the winter unless hubby plows the hill I live on, I dont leave the house ( well, property) for a week at a time. Plus I have 6 dogs..4 and 2 fosters..so im too busy for human friends.

backtoblue

(11,343 posts)
9. I live out of town too
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 02:15 PM
Jun 2018

And animals to care for.

Also, having company is hard on me. I buy just enough toilet paper, paper towels, and food to scratch buy each month. I like sharing what I can with others, but I really can't afford to have company often.

 

Ron Obvious

(6,261 posts)
8. I like to think of myself as being perfectly able to entertain and be by myself
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 01:21 PM
Jun 2018

I like hanging around people in small, measured doses, as long as they're the right kind of people. I've always had more or less one best friend at most times of my life, though I can go for months without seeing them.

I do need time away from people (especially crowds) to recharge my batteries. I can easily go for weeks without human contact, but I find it's not good for me to be be alone more than that. I could easily become a hermit in the woods if I don't watch out.

I don't usually start all my sentences with "I" either.

backtoblue

(11,343 posts)
10. Yah, I'm not a crown person either
Sat Jun 9, 2018, 02:18 PM
Jun 2018

*I* have major anxiety amongst the masses.

*I* don't communicates in *I*s either. *I* think it's selfish.

Aristus

(66,286 posts)
15. I'm just shy.
Sun Jun 10, 2018, 11:16 AM
Jun 2018

I don't have social anxiety. I just enjoy time spent alone or with a few loved ones and trusted friends. I'm a reader, and prolonged social contact cuts into my reading time.

backtoblue

(11,343 posts)
16. I tend to lose myself in reading too
Sun Jun 10, 2018, 01:03 PM
Jun 2018

I'm content when I read. Around others, I really try to be a wallflower. I'm more of an observer at heart I think

Response to backtoblue (Original post)

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