For Scott

[RSherman]

Last edited Mon May 22, 2023, 10:18 PM - Edit history (3)

FOR SCOTT (1959-2022)

It’s 4:30 a.m.
I have been awake since 3,
trying to find a way
to write about you.

Do I surrender to my grief,
give in to the soul searing words of
Dickinson, Millay, and Blake,
or console myself with the inspired hymnodists:

“The Saddest Noise”
(I’ll Fly Away)

“Time Does Not Bring Relief, You All Have Lied”
(His Eye is on the Sparrow)

(It is Well With My Soul)
Crushing sorrow
gave Spafford strength
to exalt his God.

“I am weak, (but thou art strong)”
Even so, I find myself drowning
in a sea of loss.
Even so.

“Where you used to be,
there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell.”
“Life must go on; I forget just why.”

“Just As I Am”
was your only plea.
I did not understand
and did not pardon thee.

“And throughout all Eternity
I forgive you, you forgive me.”

Forgive me, Scott.
Then I can sleep.

[MutantAndProud]

1. I'm sure anyone would

That had gone through that and looked back, something that quick… sometimes there’s just not enough time to say everything you mean to say

[Easterncedar]

2. I feel for you

That’s a beautiful poem. Six years ago yesterday my sweetheart died. I’m still walking around and falling into that hole.

[RSherman]

8. Edna St. Vincent Millay

That is her poem about falling in the hole. Gets me every time.

[Skittles]

3. lovely

so very sorry about Scott, and your pain

this poem has always comforted me
(Isla Paschal Richardson)


To Those I Love

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way,
Grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk
Of me as if I were beside you there.

(I‘d come-I‘d come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song or
See a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad...
For I am loving you just as I always have...
You were so good to me!

There are so many things I wanted still
To do—so many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear—
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face...

We cannot see Beyond...
But this I know:
I loved you so -
Twas heaven here with you!

[No Vested Interest]

6. Thank you for sharing this today.

13 yrs ago today my dear one departed.
His leaving was not unexpected, after illness of many years.
I was younger and stronger and able to negotiate life.

Now I'm older, slower, and missing my dear one more and more.

[Skittles]

7. that old adage "time heals all wounds" certianly is not true

time can only make grief easier to bear but it still stays with you - my grandma called it "the price of love"

[RSherman]

9. Thank you--beautiful

I like the part about "see a bird I loved". Scott liked owls, hawks, eagles, ospreys and always spotted them in our travels. Now when I see one, I say hello.

[DarthDem]

4. Beautiful

[RSherman]

10. Thank you

[AmBlue]

5. This cuts through me

...and bares naked my own fresh loss. Four precious souls in my immediate family gone from this Earth within the past 5 years. Still wrestling with the too familiar punch of grief that t-bones me regularly and without notice.

Your prose is a beautiful testament to your Scott. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[RSherman]

11. T Bones

Wow, what an accurate description of grief. It knows no rules or timing. Just sneaks up and T bones. Sorry for your losses as well.

[AmBlue]

12. Indeed

p.s. I love Edna St.Vincent Millay too.