Report: Donald Trump Cobbles Together A Cast Of Sports Dickheads For GOP Convention
Donald Trump, a pile of faux-leather designer handbag knockoffs, has compiled a murderers row of sports figures for next months Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Bloomberg Politics reports that Mike Tyson, Mike Ditka, Bobby Knight, and NASCAR CEO Brian France have all chosen to shed whatever dignity they have left and make appearances.
Earlier this month, Trump voiced his desire to have winners at the convention, and said that he was thinking about getting some of the great sports people who like me a lot. His campaign has pulled enough strings to net a convicted rapist, a clueless CEO, and two pricks.
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Then, the assholes. Theres a bad-takes-on-Ferguson asshole, whos also the leaves-his-cigar-on-car-seats asshole. Theres also the chair-throwing asshole, whos also the loves-a-good-rape-metaphor asshole, as well as the enough-incidents-to-merit-a-completely-straightfaced-list-of-everything-hes-done asshole. Maybe Trump is hoping hell seem better by comparison.
Bloombergs sources didnt know the specific convention plans for this Mount Rushmore from a horrific alternate universe, but they claimed the list of celebrities is still growing. Theres still a chance Tom Brady, Dana White, and Ben Roethlisberger could make an appearance, though the latter seems like a long shot.
all at: http://deadspin.com/report-donald-trump-cobbles-together-a-cast-of-sports-1782784149
And Tim Tebow! http://deadspin.com/tim-tebow-will-speak-at-republican-national-convention-1783658061