XUPDATE: My neighbor friend seems to think I sent her an anon. text

[Marthe48]

Last edited Thu Jul 6, 2023, 03:35 PM - Edit history (3)

voicing concern about her grandson and his behavior. She has raised him from when he was about 2, and all of us the street learned a long time ago that he can do no wrong, any time, ever. Yesterday, I got a text from her that was a reply to Anonymous about the grandson. I texted her back and said I hadn't sent a text about her grandson. She replied and said it was water under the bridge. I got the feeling she didn't believe me, but I let it go. My daughter and grandkids were over and we were ha ving a fun time.

My neighbor is part of my morning text circle, started when Covid hit. I texted her good morning when I got up, and she texted back that she won't be able to feed my cat when I go out of town next week, no good morning from her. I might be adding 2+2 and getting 5, but I can't help thinking that she thinks I sent the text. I don't know how to send an anon. text, and the response she sent isn't something her grandson would do that I'd complain to her about. And I don't think I'd send any form of anonymouse comments to anyone.

The spot I feel I'm in is that she thinks I sent the text and lied to her, and she is entirely wrong. I am not going to tell her again I didn't send any texts about her grandson. As Shakespeare said, 'I think thou protests too much.' I think she'll have to fix things, and she probably won't. Seems a shame a long friendship is in the toilet because when it gets right down to it, she doesn't really know me. If I'm reading the situation right, she doesn't trust me either. I hope I'm wrong. I'll know tomorrow morning.

I replied to her that I forgot she offered to feed my cat, and had made other arrangements, which is all true. (that was for the DU pet lovers. My kitty will always be taken care of )

I texted good morning to my neighbor. She replied yes. She usually sends an emoti. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was great. Moving on :/

7/6/23 I hadn't heard from my neighbor, since this happened. I texted her a couple days later, and asked if I should assume she thought I sent an anon. text. I told her again I didn't and told her to take care. I've been away from home the last few days, and I'm waiting for my plane. She texted to say I'm sensitive to noise, and that's why I'm erratic. and she feels sorry for me. Absolutely nothing to do with her previous text. I texted that if you thought had a problem, why didn't you help me? I said I hadn't sent an anon. text And then I blocked her number. At this time, I don't see much to salvage.
Thanks for reading.

[marble falls]

1. You really need to let it go. Responding in anyway only feeds the assumption. Almost lost a ...

neighbor's friendship the same way. Took a little while but we are back to where we were.

[Marthe48]

3. I'm not dwelling

I'll say hi in the morning and see what happens Thank you.

[marble falls]

5. Did not mean to imply that. Just meant mentioning anything about it will not put oil on the water.

[Marthe48]

6. You must know my neighbor friend

[Goonch]

2. 👇👇👇👁️👁️

[Marthe48]

4. lol

Thanks! lol

[Diamond_Dog]

7. She sounds like the type that always has a chip on her shoulder.

Your response as to feeding the cat is a good one. I can understand how her actions would nag at you, though. She’s putting in words in your mouth. I think that after time, it will all be forgotten.

[Marthe48]

9. It will

hmmm, maybe I'll listen to Simon and Garfunkel

Thank you

[LakeArenal]

8. I lost a friend due to texts. She took my written words wrong all the time.

Once she twisted the meaning she was all insulted.

Actual meaning of words sometimes is lost in text translation.

At the end she ascribed the the worst motives to the most innocuous words.
I know because I was trying to be really careful of what I said but it was no use.

[Marthe48]

10. I'd rather talk things over in person

if it's heavy. It is too easy to misconstrue comments, especially if someone wants to read between the lines. After her reply yesterday, I thought about if for awhile and assumed she found out who sent the text. Then today, when she sent an out of character brusque text, I thought she still thinks I sent the text.

Relationships are so complex, even when I think they aren't. I had a friend who took everything I said or did the wrong way. After trying to please her, mollify her, pacify her, I stepped away from that relationship. It was too hard to avoid every single thing that pissed her off. We are minimally in touch-she is an inlaw, but I haven't followed up on her suggestions we get together and so on. I am not a chew toy :/

Thank for weighing in. I always appreciate hearing from you

[cbabe]

11. I call it 'email drift'. When people misinterpret emails or texts, I

say ‘must be email drift. Let’s meet for coffee and talk’.

It’s hard to be clear in writing without voice tone, body language, etc.

Surprisingly, no one has ever met for coffee and chat after I made the offer.

Or you could just say ‘don’t get huffy with me cupcake’. (Ha)

[Random Boomer]

12. Not a friend

If she doesn't really know you, then she was a friendly neighbor, not a friend. It's a distinction to bear in mind.

[Marthe48]

13. Thank you

I've noticed that I should make a distinction. We'll see.

[XanaDUer2]

14. I'm sorry

I wonder who sent it? Weird

[Marthe48]

15. I wondered myself

If she got it on her cell, it'll have to be someone who has that number. This is what poison pen letters do. Whoever texted her caused more problems than they solved.