In honor of Arthur's neutering - Neuticles!

[3catwoman3]

Did you know that there are prosthetic testicles designed for pets? Well, there are! A company called Neuticles makes these, in several sizes and from a variety of materials. There are neuticles for dogs, cats, horses, and bulls. Some even include the epididymis.

When I first learned about this product some years ago, I thought it was a joke. It is not. Here is a quote from the website:

It began in 1995 with patented Neuticles – testicular implantation for pets- helping neuter hesitant pet owners overcome the trauma of altering and allowing their beloved pet to retain its natural look and self esteem. (underlining mine)

The least expensive pair is size small for cats at $149, and the most expensive set is size medium for horses and bulls at $619.

Here is another quote - "The NeuticlesNATURAL® replicates the approximate firmness level of the pets testes prior to placement but does feel firmer to the human touch once placed. Who goes around feeling their pets' testicles?

Any pet owners here ever done this to/for their male pets?

Is this for the pets, or more for the owners?

Edited to ad - But wait! There's more! Merch - T-shirts, ball caps, key rings, and even earrings. There earrings are a mere $109.

https://neuticles.com/product/neuticles-earrings/

[dweller]

1. Some say they are just not the same ...

✌🏻

[3catwoman3]

3. Don't let the right wing busybody squad...

...see this. They'll accuse the owners of grooming.

[unweird]

2. Well, pets don't carry wallets so I'm going to go with these are for the owners benefit

And from personal deliberations I know it was my idea and that the pet was less concerned. That or he just had an outsized enough ego that it didn’t bother him afterwards. I had thought about these implants for the previous pekingese but didn’t order them.

[Tree-Hugger]

4. As a vet tech....

.....the amount of male owners who would absolutely refuse to get their dogs neutered because they didn't want to, "interfere with his manhood," is not a small number. Over the past few decades I have met a lot of men who seem to tie their own manhood to their dog's testicles.

I haven't seen many people opt for neuticals, which have been around for a long, long time. I've seen them used more for show dogs who compete in events that require intact males.

[wnylib]

5. I'm puzzled. Are these supposed to be replacements

for testicles removed in neutering?

Why would someone think their pet should have them? Today's vets don't remove the testicles. They just snip the gland inside. From the outside, the dog or cat appears to be "whole" and intact.

[Mr.Bill]

6. I've heard that when they get to Rainbow Bridge

they get them back.

[Siwsan]

7. Shhhhh. I told him he had a hernia repair!!!

[Rebl2]

8. 🤣🤣🤣

[MuseRider]

9. I remember hearing about them

fairly early as I had horses, went to a lot of shows and there were people discussing them.

I looked into them because I thought that was the damnedest, dumbest thing I had ever heard of. You guys need your animals to have great big balls, or even have them because intact males are such a joy in so many situations?

They were made differently at first but when the dogs would sit down they would make a noise on a hard floor. There was one guy whose beagle had enormous balls from neuticles.

I see you found the jewlery too.

I always wondered how anyone could be so stupid or insecure but they are still in business so whatever it is that makes a man not feel like a man if his dog does not have huge balls is apparently still a thing. LOL, sometimes you just have to laugh.

[3catwoman3]

10. "I thought that was the damnedest, dumbest thing I had ever heard of."

Certainly ranks right up there.

Altho I can be guilty of anthropomorphism with my cats, when I've had female cats spayed it never crossed my mind to worry that they might miss having a uterus.

The earrings look like coconut Jelly Bellies.

[MuseRider]

11. Oh me too with my animals but

this is just such a "guy thing". I raised 2 boys and between them and my husband I was so sick and tired of hearing about testicles. My husband is one of those guys, very proud that he has them. I think they are stupid. It never once occurred to any of us women to grab our boobs and scream as if our entire being was being threatened. Before the first response comes in....you have not one clue what it feels like having boobs that are bigger than yours. It hurts like hell to get hit there but you have NEVER heard anything about it so......this thread. To the women made of plastic for sex appeal, thanks a pant load for that but you get to do it just like men and their truck testicles and beagles with testicles so big they cannot sit comfortably. Makes ya feel like a real man/woman doesn't it.

[3catwoman3]

12. A little off topic here, but seems fitting.

Last edited Mon Aug 22, 2022, 10:51 AM - Edit history (1)

In 2018, there was a thread about retro foods, which reminded me of an earlier and similar thread in which Velveteen Ocelot told of the one and only time his mother served something known as "candle salad." I laughed so hard I was crying. Here is a link to the recipe:

https://www.thekitchn.com/the-candle-salad-a-retro-recipe-to-make-you-blush-food-history-192197

The Velveteen Ocelot (101,794 posts)

9. My mom made that once! Only once, I might add.

When one of these salads appeared by each of our plates at one Sunday dinner many years ago, my brother and I (we were teenagers) and my dad gave each other the side-eye and burst out laughing. Mom accused us of having dirty minds, to which we pled guilty. She didn't serve "candle" salads again.


Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #9)Mon Jul 9, 2018, 04:33 PM
Star Member 3catwoman3 (20,209 posts)


10. Actually, your post is the one I remember about that salad.

I laughed until I cried, just picturing the scene at your table. I think you had a photo of that salad. Topped with whipped cream, if I recall, so really suggestive for those having reached puberty.

[MuseRider]

13. OMG

That is so funny and so retro 50's. My mother never made that thankfully.

[TexasBushwhacker]

14. I know show animals have to be intact

But some owners may want to show their dogs in competition and win ribbons, but not breed them. Maybe neuticals is a work around.