Disturbing thing happened on my 7th grade son's school bus ride home today

[woodsprite]

I got a call from the asst director at his after care that as he and his friend were getting off the bus today, the were talking about a 'special kid' who was touching them inappropriately, trying to give people lap dances, and tried to pull some other kids pants down and do things to him. The daycare called Child Protective Services to see if this was a reportable incident. CPS told them it wasn't reportable since it was kid vs kid. They were told it was only reportable to the school, the bus company and maybe the police department, depending on how far the aggressive kid took the actions.

My husband and I, plus the parents of my son's friend, have been notified and I called the school dean of students right away. She printed off the bus roster and said there is no 'special kid' (assuming my son and his friend mean special ed kid) on the bus, but there is a kid who pretends to try to avoid getting into trouble. She will take written statements from both my son and my son's friend, as well as the daycare asst director tomorrow AND she's going to call the other kids from the bus down to get statements from all of them about what's been going on.

I will say, she got right back to me even though I left her a message at 4:05. The one thing that troubled me is that when the asst. director asked my son "why didn't you report this?". My son said "I'm just a twig. Who would listen to me?" I feel responsible for that because we were all joking around this weekend about how tall he's grown (taller than me or his sister) and we need to beef him up so he won't be quite so skinny - like a twig. I don't want him feeling that way, and the director and dean of students are trusted people - people he should trust and people that we've known many years and trust. He should have gone to them at the first sign of anything like this.

Hubby and I will have to talk to our son tonight and let him know that the school wants to take a statement from him. I just want to listen right now though, because I want his statement tomorrow to be in his words.

[txwhitedove]

1. You don't say how old your son is, but I think it would be hard for a youngster to report on and

verbalize what happened on the bus. That would have been a shock to an adult riding a bus. Don't beat yourself up about calling him a "twig". That was just his way of saying he's small/young. I'm sure you'll find a way to help him find his own voice.

[MarianJack]

2. My son is in 7th grade also.

My best wishes to your son and your family. I hope that this worked out well for him!

PEACE!

[woodsprite]

3. It turned out as well as it could. The school was VERY good at getting to the

bottom of the story. They took statements from all the children on the bus and suspended the two boys. The one that was doing the lap dance type stuff had in-school suspension for 2 days and was suspended from the bus for 1 wk, so his parents had to arrange for him to be dropped off and picked up. The other boy had in-school suspension for 1 day. They feel that in-school suspension is a much better punishment than out of school, since they essentially get a free 'vacation' day. If it's in-school, they can make them do their work or write a paper, etc. The daycare and the school cooperated and daycare found out that it wasn't quite as bad as the first kid was saying. Even my son said "Mom, the 6th grader is exaggerating some, but I just wrote the truth down when they asked me to".

To top it off, the Dean of Students called to thank my husband and I for notifying them and congratulate us on having a son who is honest and articulate in the way he handled himself during the questioning session by her, the guidance counsellor and the school resource officer (ie. uniformed state police officer).

They gave the #1 culprit two chances to write the truth out on his statement. The first time he blew it off, she said she took that and handed him another sheet of paper, then proceeded to tell him how she spent her morning (interviewing everyone that rode that bus and viewing the video). NOW, did he want to try writing his statement again? I'm glad she's going to be my son's Dean of students next year as well (they have one DOS that stays with an incoming class through all 3 yrs in middle school). She said that way they get to really know the kids.

[MarianJack]

4. It means so much...

...to have confidence in your child's school, doesn't it?

You must be very proud to have a son with so much integrity. In matters like this, the fruit falls VERY CLOSE to the tree!

PEACE!

[woodsprite]

5. It certainly does mean a lot to have confidence in the school.

I really didn't at the beginning, and had concerns with him going there. People fuss about the principal that's there now, but he, along with the other administration, have turned that school around. There are still fights and stuff happening, but on much less of a scale than previously. It's on the upswing.

I also can't say enough good about the daycare that my son goes to. It's been in business since 1963 and they have consistently had very little staff turnover. He 'ages' out of summer camp and aftercare in 2yrs. The main counselor for the daycare is trying to organize and get insurance for a summer "Counselor in training" program. He's approached our son to be one of the first trainees if he's interested. Our son seems very interested since he'd get to accompany them on all the daycare-wide trips and special functions they do through the summer, even though he'd be mainly working with the younger kids.

When the time comes, I'm going to be sorry to stop doing business with them (though finances will be much better). Those daycare workers have been part of our daily lives since 1995 - when my daughter started attending at 2yo. I have time to think about it, but I want to do something special for all the workers there.

Hmmmm, I wonder how many parents have been customers there for 20 yrs?