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angstlessk

(11,862 posts)
Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:35 PM Feb 2018

What do you do when you have no options

My husband gets drunk and is extremely verballally abusive, but sober he is kind...

When he drinks, I drink...though I would like NO ALCOHOL ever in this house.

Unfortunately, he is drunk more often than he is sober, as am I.

I am trapped in this house, trapped in this relationship...

I am sorry I came here since there is nothing to be done.

14 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
What do you do when you have no options (Original Post) angstlessk Feb 2018 OP
There are always options zipplewrath Feb 2018 #1
Why don't you stop drinking completely. democratisphere Feb 2018 #2
You are of course correct angstlessk Feb 2018 #4
I wish you well in your difficult situation. democratisphere Feb 2018 #7
I agree. You will find the option(s) that work best for you fierywoman Feb 2018 #6
Consider calling your local AA for a ride to a womens meeting. irisblue Feb 2018 #3
this is a shit site...where do I go? angstlessk Feb 2018 #9
There are options. You have to be willing to recognize that, elleng Feb 2018 #5
The Days of Wine and Roses was just on TV. BigmanPigman Feb 2018 #8
Depression and alcohol are a bad mix. irisblue Feb 2018 #10
All of the above are good suggestions PJMcK Feb 2018 #11
So sorry shenmue Feb 2018 #12
no one can save you but you. mopinko Feb 2018 #13
very true and very wise steve2470 Feb 2018 #14

zipplewrath

(16,646 posts)
1. There are always options
Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:41 PM
Feb 2018

Just not necessarily "good" ones.

The right answers are usually simple.

The simple answers are usually hard.

democratisphere

(17,235 posts)
2. Why don't you stop drinking completely.
Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:41 PM
Feb 2018

Then go from there. You can make better decisions when you are strong and sober.

angstlessk

(11,862 posts)
4. You are of course correct
Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:56 PM
Feb 2018

I am as much an alcoholic as he is.

The only difference is if it's not here we can't drink it...but he keeps buying it!

fierywoman

(7,641 posts)
6. I agree. You will find the option(s) that work best for you
Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:03 PM
Feb 2018

by looking in the places that speak to YOU as a human being. Not him, YOU. He may or may not follow your lead, but that is his concern not yours.

BigmanPigman

(51,432 posts)
8. The Days of Wine and Roses was just on TV.
Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:18 PM
Feb 2018

Watch it, then go to a meeting. Save yourself...that is your only option.

PJMcK

(21,921 posts)
11. All of the above are good suggestions
Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:34 PM
Feb 2018

You could also talk with your doctor or religious advisor, if you have one. They can help you find resources.

Good luck.

mopinko

(69,806 posts)
13. no one can save you but you.
Thu Feb 8, 2018, 08:02 PM
Feb 2018

you have to decide you are worth saving first. then you will find the way.

steve2470

(37,457 posts)
14. very true and very wise
Thu Feb 8, 2018, 08:28 PM
Feb 2018

A few other thoughts intended, sincerely, to be helpful to anyone who reads this forum.....

1- Most people have a "bottom" to their pain, upon which they get galvanized to do what they need to do. Some do not ..and some just die miserable. Sad, harsh and true. I firmly believe for most human situations, where there is a WILL, there is a WAY. It may not be easy, cheap or fun, but there is a WAY out. Change it, adapt to it, or both.

2- Some people are called in the psych professions "help-seeking/help-rejecting": they seek help, only to avoid implementing all rational and sane approaches. Hmm. At some point, everyone just gives up, including most psychiatrists, therapists, nurses, friends, family members, doctors etc. One can only complain so long, before one gets tuned out. Also sad, harsh and true.



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