DU has a transphobia problem
I don't know where else to post this. But it's no surprise whenever a thread about Dave Chappelle or Lia Thomas comes up. The usual suspects will arrive to defend transphobic behavior. The latest about Chappelle has driven me to post this thread. I don't expect support but I'm tired. I'm one of the handful of transgender members on this board and I'm tired of the transphobia running unchecked on this site. When it's called out by someone. Normally we get a hide instead of the person defending their remarks. Again I don't know if this is the best place to post this. But I am absolutely tired of putting up with the idea that we are suppose to be safe here when I feel we are absolutely not. I'm to the point where in my 12 years of being here. I'm ready to leave.
= new reply since forum marked as read
What that tells me is that there are individuals here at DU who have a transphobia problem, but there are lots of other people who object to it strenuously enough that they are willing to alert on objectionable posts and vote that DU rules have been broken when called to serve on a jury.
It absolutely sucks, imo, that ANYONE at DU is capable of being enough of an asshole to post transphobic garbage here. But it encourages me to see that there are so many people here who are willing to do the necessary work to make sure that kind of trash gets taken out. To me it says that the transphobic assholes are definitely not in the majority at DU.
To vercetti 2021: I don't know what was in those posts, because they were removed before I ever saw the thread, but I can tell from the responses that they must have been pretty horrible. I'm SO sorry they were ever posted here, and even more sorry for the pain they obviously caused you. 
But I really hope you won't let those assholes ruin DU for you. I wish I could promise you that nothing like this will ever happen here again, but you and I both know I can't. What I can promise is to always be on the lookout for his kind of garbage and alert on it as soon as I see it, every single time.
I also promise to stand with trans folks and others in the LGBTQ community, here at DU and elsewhere, support all of you in any way I can, do my best to educate the hateful and ignorant whenever the need arises.
In closing, I leave you with this: https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/6-positive-affirmations-for-every-trans-gender-non-conforming-individual-lgbtqia-mental-health-self-care-love-kindness-ally/
Your voice is so important. I'm sorry you're not being supported. I am an ally. But, I have also gotten things wrong. Sometimes, I don't even know what to say. So, all I can say is I value and support you, vercetti2021.
I have not been following the latest controversy. I've been experiencing so much tragedy in my personal circle that all else has really faded.
However, I do feel the pain in your post and I am sorry.
You deserve to be here, and I think most of us support you and the transgendered community in general.Unfortunately, timing is everything. I read the Chappell thread, but it was early on and no one had said anything transphobic. 
I’m sorry for your pain.
I've only seen snippets of Chappelle a couple of times & found him revolting. Just my opinion.
Who else you gonna eat Oreos with at 3am? 
If you need to take a break, do so but don't leave us for good - you have friends and allies here that support and value you.
Please don't leave. We need your voice. BTW, I am a cis straight woman and like *most* of us here, this issue is close to my heart.
up to the jury system to deal with individual bigoted posts.
Vercetti, you can see here how numerous your allies are , and we are just a representative sample, you can be sure… so I’d say bookmark this thread for any future occurrences, and message any of us to alert if your alert fails a jury. With this many of us stepping up to stand by you, we’ll likely eventually get a jury seated that will remove the post.
Peace and strength, friend. 
Thank you for speaking up as well
For being here and for your kind words on my post.
As far as Depp? I get it. I loved - past-tense - him too. I thought he was a cool guy and a great actor. Sure, probably drank too much and dabbled in drugs too much. But he seemed to be a reasonable guy...
Until we heard the truth about his marriage. I've lost all respect for him, and his scorched Earth, "don't fuck with me!" lawsuit has caused my respect for him to go into the negatives.
I've seen the pro-Depp crowd here, and it's another thing that can only make me shake my head. Everyone loves screaming "WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE WOMEN!?" when the subjects of trans athletes or restrooms come up... Then when they have a chance to stand with a woman who truly is a victim (Amber Heard), they stand with Johnny Depp.
I digress a bit, but.. Part of the above does fit. Because once again, when the stakes really matter, a lot of people here would rather stand with an abusive man than an abused woman. All the while turning Lia Thomas into the devil for just trying to be herself...
I'm not sure I've felt validated since 2008 myself.. At least didn't feel empty inside. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your partner
PTSD is so unpredictable like that. Sometimes it gets triggered at the oddest times... or the smallest things. I'm hoping that in the last couple days that the nightmares have dulled a bit and you've been able to sleep a bit better. I'm also glad the therapy helped at least some. Good - or even decent - therapy can be so hard to find. I've struggled to find it for years myself.
The experiences you've had, I've had, so many have had, often lead me to wonder if we really have an "education" system in this country. It feels more like having a social conditioning system where they decide early on who's accepted... and who's not. For those of us who aren't accepted, it's a living nightmare. For far too many of us, we leave "school" with more PTSD and scars than we do education.
Family also far too often does not help, or makes it worse. I think that's another thing so many don't see - here or anywhere... What our families do to us. I wish I could say "No way, I can't believe it" over your father... But I can. That's the saddest thing. I can. Families are supposed to be there for us and protect us, not harm us. But far too many families do hurt their own, and that seems to be far more frequent with the LGBTQ community.
Like you, I think the era of Trumpism has opened some eyes. Even then, not enough. I don't think people see how bad it was prior to 2016, or fully get how bad it is in 2022. I don't think they see how badly the LGBTQ community is targeted by RW extremism (300+ bills so far in 2022 alone.) I know there is a lot of fear and anger over Roe - rightfully so. I know there is a lot of fear and anger over Buffalo - rightfully so. But I think some don't get what a relentless onslaught 2022 has been for us, and how it takes its toll. When we come here and it doesn't feel so safe (such as over Maher or Chappelle, or the fits over Lia Thomas), I don't think people get the impact it has. It doesn't even have to be anything as blatant as "two genders" or "respect the science". Things as "small" as arguing or debating about us like we're not even here hurts and makes us feel unsafe.
I myself has a significant PTSD attack on my birthday of all days, just a few days ago. Why? Was it hitting another birthday while hating my body? Probably. I imagine the recent three-headed monster of Maher, Chappelle and Gervais factored in it as well. The shooting in Texas did as well. And the 300+ bigoted bills in 2022 obviously played a part... So on what should be a happy day, I have a PTSD episode. I've spent the last few days trying to reconstruct the whole thing, including what happened during it. I was actually working that evening, and I've been trying to check and be sure it happened after I got off the air, not during. Fortunately, it sounds like it wasn't while on the air... But I imagine there's a few hours of my life that are gone to a blackout of an episode.
Like you, so much of the trauma that has led to PTSD was caused by what should've been two "safe spaces" - school and family. Even though I wasn't out while in school, even though my family loves to talk of sticking together... They didn't help, they hurt. Decades later, the scars are still there, I'm a walking ball of neurosis on a good day, and on the wrong day... Boom. PTSD episode.
I wish people would understand this is far more common than they think. Some just hide it better... I get that a lot of people are hurting and scared and angry right now, and the last thing I want to do is play the "Oppression Olympics" with any other group under attack. I just want them to see we're people too, and we're hurting too.
We should all be safe - here, and everywhere. I'm losing hope when it comes to everywhere... I just hope we can start by making here safe.
