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vercetti2021

(10,150 posts)
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 06:48 PM Jun 2020

I came out to my mom Friday night

Thank God she was very supportive and only wants me to be happy. Everyone else has been very supportive and happy. I told them I'm also having gender dysphoria right now too. I'm not comfortable in my body. But they all kinda knew I was more feminine than masculine.

But I worry about telling my dad. He's extremely homophobic. He assaulted a gay man back in the 80s for just implying a date with him. So...yeah. I like both genders and I'm not afraid to say it. But I knew that was always something different about me.

19 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I came out to my mom Friday night (Original Post) vercetti2021 Jun 2020 OP
Kudos, and very best wishes as you move ahead. JohnnyLib2 Jun 2020 #1
Good for you! SheltieLover Jun 2020 #2
There's something different about everyone. Dream Girl Jun 2020 #3
good for you! FirstLight Jun 2020 #4
I'm sure she is proud too vercetti2021 Jun 2020 #6
it's ok for you to talk about that too, sounds like she knows already FirstLight Jun 2020 #8
I could never fully transition vercetti2021 Jun 2020 #9
yes, i imagine it's hard on the body and the mind...hormones suck! FirstLight Jun 2020 #10
Lol vercetti2021 Jun 2020 #13
anything you do to help your health will also help the dysphoria FirstLight Jun 2020 #14
I'm gonna need it vercetti2021 Jun 2020 #15
Post removed Post removed Jun 2020 #18
I am happy for you that your mother has been supportive tulipsandroses Jun 2020 #5
I will always worry vercetti2021 Jun 2020 #7
35 years ago when my brother told our Mom that he was gay she was 42bambi Jun 2020 #16
Stay encouraged, vercetti2021. Know that you are loved and find strength in that. littlemissmartypants Jun 2020 #11
Proud of you for iamateacher Jun 2020 #12
Bravo! Advice about dad ... Odoreida Jun 2020 #17
Hello ga_girl Jun 2020 #19
 

Dream Girl

(5,111 posts)
3. There's something different about everyone.
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 06:57 PM
Jun 2020

I’m glad for you and wish you luck on your journey. I’m hopeful that your dad has evolved and will support you. He may not even be surprised.

FirstLight

(13,352 posts)
4. good for you!
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 06:58 PM
Jun 2020

I'm a proud rainbow momma😉

My daughter came out in her early teens, and many of her friends are trans and gay...we have had some very strange and uncomfortable conversations, but I'm so grateful they helped educate me. Most of these kids don't have supportive parents and I just don't get it.

Here's hoping that when you talk to your dad he will realize that your happiness is the important thing 🥰

vercetti2021

(10,150 posts)
6. I'm sure she is proud too
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 07:24 PM
Jun 2020

I haven't told her yet about my gender dysphoria. She asked me if I wanted or felt I was a female. I just said no. But I actually do.

FirstLight

(13,352 posts)
8. it's ok for you to talk about that too, sounds like she knows already
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 07:27 PM
Jun 2020

Im glad you have her for support

My daughter's bestie roommate is now finally taking Testosterone, I know it's helping with the dysphoria...but he really wants top surgery.

vercetti2021

(10,150 posts)
9. I could never fully transition
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 07:29 PM
Jun 2020

I'm on testosterone for my own health reasons and estrogen blockers as well. But I think it helped clear my head better. I always was sad and depressed. I don't feel that way anymore after testosterone. But I know if I want to go in the reversal I'll have to stop taking them and go on hormones. It's a hard process

FirstLight

(13,352 posts)
10. yes, i imagine it's hard on the body and the mind...hormones suck!
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 08:13 PM
Jun 2020

(coming from a menopausal female! lol)

vercetti2021

(10,150 posts)
13. Lol
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 09:12 PM
Jun 2020

But it's going to be a good minute before I really decide. I think after weight loss. I'm gonna see how my figure looks.

FirstLight

(13,352 posts)
14. anything you do to help your health will also help the dysphoria
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 09:16 PM
Jun 2020
we're here for you if you need support!

Response to FirstLight (Reply #8)

tulipsandroses

(5,092 posts)
5. I am happy for you that your mother has been supportive
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 07:04 PM
Jun 2020

Hugs to you.

I hope you have all the love and support from all your loved ones, including your dad.

My dad used to be a religious fundie - he wasn't super hard core but he certainly bought what his religion taught him about being gay. I used to worry about how he would react when he found out my son was gay. My son came out to me in junior high school. He never told my parents. Eventually , my dad said he knew. After all, my son never had a girlfriend. I think he still has times that he struggles with what he has believed all his life vs his love of his grandson. However, his love for my son always wins. I hope your dad will realize his love for you is greater than anything else. Its hard to deprogram what you have believed all your life. But it can be done. Love wins.

vercetti2021

(10,150 posts)
7. I will always worry
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 07:25 PM
Jun 2020

My dad has really berated me my whole life. Telling him I'm bi is gonna probably drive him over the edge and completely disown me

42bambi

(1,753 posts)
16. 35 years ago when my brother told our Mom that he was gay she was
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 11:26 PM
Jun 2020

surprised, upset, and crying. I asked her why was she crying ... she didn't answer me, so I simply asked her if she loved him yesterday, well she got her dander up and said yes of course! So I asked her if she loved him now ... she said of course! After a minute or so, I said, so you feel the same way about him as you did yesterday, yes she said ... I asked her, well what has changed then? Oh I see, she said, smiling. From then on, the rest was as it always was ... still a Mom and a son. Hopefully when you tell your Dad he will love you just as he did yesterday. Good luck to you, it's a proud moment for you when you are able to be yourself.

littlemissmartypants

(22,418 posts)
11. Stay encouraged, vercetti2021. Know that you are loved and find strength in that.
Sun Jun 21, 2020, 08:39 PM
Jun 2020

I admire your courage.

❤ lmsp

 

Odoreida

(1,549 posts)
17. Bravo! Advice about dad ...
Mon Jun 22, 2020, 11:12 AM
Jun 2020

My guess is he already knows, but that does not predict his reaction when you tell him.

Ask your mom to help.

ga_girl

(182 posts)
19. Hello
Thu Jun 25, 2020, 08:27 PM
Jun 2020

I'd normally PM on a subject like this, but don't post enough for that functionality.

I've read through several of your posts here and the mental health group. I'm not a doctor, but have faced some of the same issues you have, but not to the severity you describe. From what I've read, you have low T and high E. High E can suppress T. And fat cells hold onto E like crazy. If you are overweight, losing weight can help self adjust E and T to more "normal" values.

Supportive family and friends are very important in keeping you grounded. Good luck with telling your dad.

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