LGBT
Related: About this forumI'm something
Not sure what. But I am.
I recently... Came out? To my wife about it.
She totally supports me and that's a relief. But, I seek a better understanding of me. And I thought I'd talk with DU's LGBT group about it.
I'm a male. I'm attracted only to my wife, a female BUT...
I feel an immense confidence and pleasure in thinking of myself as female.
I don't want to wear women's clothes... Or do I?
I don't want to put on make up. Maybe?
But I feel EMPOWERED when I think of myself as a female. I first noticed it on DU in fact. When a user referred to me as a she. I didn't care to correct them because I thought, "damn right I am." And I smiled and felt good about myself. It went on from there. I haven't lied and told anyone I'm female online though. I don't want to cause trouble.
Today though, I find myself obsessed with being pretty. Like, I am really really interested in hygiene and beauty right now. Excited about it even. I want to do my hair and clean my face.
So... What do you think of this? I'm not gay, I'm not interested in men. But I even like thinking of myself as a woman when I'm with my wife.
So there it is. It's... Out there. :/
unblock
(52,207 posts)awesome.
don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
This was a truly inspiring response. Thank you!
I'm a struggling female, so I am very encouraged when I see a response to an OP like yours. I hope to get the courage to do a thread about my search for who I am.
unblock
(52,207 posts)i'm sure you're also awesome!
irisblue
(32,969 posts)You are an intelligent soul, enjoy the ride.
retrowire
(10,345 posts)Non binary is it called?
irisblue
(32,969 posts)(Spelling on continium? ) Binary, like computer code, 0 or 1, implies only 2 choices/existences are available. Humans are more complicated and interesting. How & what you feel ~this day~ is not what you felt 5 yrs ago & may not be what you feel 5 yrs from now.
Keep your communication with your wife honest, clear & loving. Learn about yourself too.
irisblue
(32,969 posts)TygrBright
(20,759 posts)Enjoy yourselves, be who you are, what you are, explore what you want to be. Be playful, try things out.
It's a whole 'nother world of love, once you're out of the binary box.
Recognizing you're not in that box anymore, stretching, looking around and saying, 'huh, cool... let's explore' with a partner who loves you and is cool on the exploring...
...that's about as lucky as you can get, I think.
So... enjoy.
Labels don't matter, although there are now many that describe various ways of not being in the binary box. If you want a label to help build your ideas about yourself around, pick the one that suits YOU, not the one that other people want to tack onto you.
There is a woman inside most men, and a man inside most women. We don't always get to be them.
encouragingly,
Bright
retrowire
(10,345 posts)What a poignant statement. I get to be more powerful, more beautiful and confident.
Thank you.
LostOne4Ever
(9,288 posts)Last edited Thu May 18, 2017, 04:07 AM - Edit history (1)
[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=#009999]It has many terms for it but I prefer to call it "CrossDreaming." It has also been called "female/male embodiment fantasies" by the author and transactivist Dr. Julia Serano.
It is usually called "autogynephilia" by the pyschological community, but I ENCOURAGE YOU NOT TO USE this term as it is a part of a transphobic theory.
Cross-dreaming can be considered a type of transgenderism under the most inclusive definition of the term transgender. Crossdreamers can be any sexual orientation and it is not uncommon for a MTF crossdreamer to be attracted to women. A REALLY GOOD SITE for more information about what you and I go through can be found here:[/font]
http://www.crossdreamers.com/
[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=#009999]It also has a forum there in which I post under the name of Lost247365 called Crossdream life if you would like to check it out. It is pretty new and small but a good place to meet other crossdreamers like us: [/font]
http://crossdreamlife.lefora.com/
uriel1972
(4,261 posts)Not interested in makeup or the "feminine" clothes, but very much feel a woman on the inside... screaming to get out of the wrong body.
Genderfluid... is one term I've heard that possibly comes close. eh YMMV.
Cheers
Uriel