Michigan
Related: About this forumI need a man to replace the man who lives in my house!
In DETROIT!!
He often threatens to kill me...he has become the most racist black person I have known since he moved from Virginia to Detroit...
And he thinks he is a slave...though all the income mine?
I used to be a regular person when the kitchen was available...then he would microwave a meal or two...then it was all sandwiches...now he thinks if he produces a sandwich he is a slave?
All the income is mine, but I put all into a joint account..he has access to all money
SharonAnn
(13,772 posts)bettyellen
(47,209 posts)angstlessk
(11,862 posts)then things started to fall apart...I tried to continue, but he stopped me...I want to love my house again...I spent many months fixing this house up...now I have to leave?
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)I would have to abandon them as well as my kitty I've had for yeaes
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)angstlessk
(11,862 posts)but had a new earphone with speaker...so my stuff was not recorded
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)Sorry for the caps...but I don't want temporary
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)I will give you cash money to clean up house...5,000 for a clear house. 6,000 for clear drains trust me it is not a pretty job!
The 6,000 is just an additional 1,000
Croney
(4,659 posts)Call a contractor, sign a contract, and voila! You are under obligation to allow said contractor to clean your house and to pay them for the job. Make a big partial payment up front. Your "person" can't get the money and you'll have a clean house. (I'm picturing something like on Hoarders?)
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)He had junk mail on either side of the door to the dining room,,,reaching my waist!
I used to flatten boxes as we got stuff...I don't think he has flattened a box EVER!
Croney
(4,659 posts)On Hoarders, somebody reports the hoarder to the city authorities and that forces action. If you don't want to lose your home, call those junk remover guys and tell them to bring the big blue trucks. You've got the money.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)He thinks 10 cent refund is worth storing thousands of bottles/cans...he has never collapsed a box EVER!
Croney
(4,659 posts)Let us know how it goes.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)Croney
(4,659 posts)That is the real name of the company used on Hoarders.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)in Detroit...I must thank you instead!
zipplewrath
(16,646 posts)angstlessk
(11,862 posts)and now we have 3 kittys to care for
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)You have to stop this and plan an escape now. Possibly they can help you w bringing kitties to a shelter. But you have to take care of yourself first. No new manis going to do it for you.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)bettyellen
(47,209 posts)Doreen
(11,686 posts)he is getting those cats to hold you there and discourage you from leaving. Is his name on the ownership of the house? If not you can have him evicted. If you get out one of the things you can also do is call the humane society explain the situation and someone will be likely to help get the cats out until he is gone and you can go back.
zipplewrath
(16,646 posts)These organizations can help guide you through the process of getting him out of your house, for good.
Doodley
(9,088 posts)You need to get away from him if he is threatening you. You should not live in the circumstances you describe, but there is too much you aren't saying.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)and claim somE crazy...ALL is temporary....WHAT NEXT?
Doodley
(9,088 posts)place or are you paying rent? As well as threatening you, has he hit you? Is he otherwise violent? Do you have children? Do you have family or friends that you can go to?
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)We have no children, and I have left all my family behind, and I don't have a friend in this world.
Doodley
(9,088 posts)ad online for another female to hang out with. I am glad you have shared your experience here, but there is nothing like having somebody who you can confide in and who will have your back.
procon
(15,805 posts)and many DUers gave you lots of good advice and spent their time looking up useful agencies to assist you in getting help.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1151&pid=7311
A few people on that thread suspected you weren't being truthful, that it as all a scam, so what gives with the repeat thread?
Obviously you haven't followed through with any of the helpful things that fellow DUers offered you. What do you want? What else can anyone suggest to you that you'd actually do something besides starting another one of these tragic stories?
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)He needs to get out...only he wont,,,how can I arrange for him to leave? AND NEVER come back?
procon
(15,805 posts)This forum can't make a phone call for you, do why didn't you make any attempt to find help? If you're really sincere, why aren't you making any effort to use all the information that folks gave you to find the answers to your questions?
In your other post, you said you were disabled and couldn't get around. You also implied that you were being held prisoner under dire conditions, but in this thread you state that you "could walk to the hospital".
I wasn't before, but am somewhat suspicious now.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)angstlessk
(11,862 posts)I spent a month painting my kitchen...only to be sent out...I used to clean the downstairs religiously...now it is full of trash
When you have lived my life...check back in
procon
(15,805 posts)to contact any of the resource agencies that could actually help you. That seems almost as strange as these repetitious cry-for-help threads.
BTW... Many of us who reached out to try and help you the first time mentioned that they were also survivors, so don't think that your experiences are unfamiliar.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)I was lucky once using a shelter...till he broke into my apartment and threatened my family..
You think this stuff is simple,,,more women are murdered leaving their spouse
procon
(15,805 posts)Doreen
(11,686 posts)have him evicted. You might have to leave temporarily but if you have your own home the people you seek help from will make sure the time away from your home is as short as possible. Put it this way they do not want to have to pay the money to house you if you already have your own. Have you emailed your children yet?
AJT
(5,240 posts)Get it cleaned up and sell it.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)What would put him there for more than a few days? I tried to hire folks back when he went to jail for a day...but it would have taken more than a day...so I gave a bunch of cans/bottles to charity
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)I am sure most go back to their abusers...
Wednesdays
(17,362 posts)Surely even a local church group can help you relocate, even if you don't consider yourself religious. If one church refuses you, go to the next.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)bettyellen
(47,209 posts)And tell him everything. Let him figure out a way to safeguard as much as you can while separating from this man. We can't help you. YOU have to help yourself. You have SS income, you'll be fine.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)Sedona
(3,769 posts)His name is not on the deed? Evict him, change the locks. If he comes back you can have him arrested for trespassing. Done.
Doreen
(11,686 posts)Doreen
(11,686 posts)I would look up your states common law marriage laws. They might not exist where you are and that makes you free to have the police remove him.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)Doreen
(11,686 posts)As I said check out the common marriage laws if there are any in your state.
marylandblue
(12,344 posts)The real problem is that she is unwilling to take the steps necessary to get her life back.
Doreen
(11,686 posts)There is help out there and she would get her house back. If he tries to keep her from her money he would be going to jail because that is a federal offense saying what she is getting is federal money.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)I bought two toilet rings..one if it's regular and one if it's high because of tiles...he never put them on
When he plunged the toilet, because it was not seated...the shit went into the walls!
He thinks every suggestion I make is a slave holder demanding a slave to commit an act?
Once we worked together..but almost never since!
Doodley
(9,088 posts)angstlessk
(11,862 posts)He just kicked the other car out...he is using my love of the cats to hurt me
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)bettyellen
(47,209 posts)secondwind
(16,903 posts)I urge you to gather your important papers, passport, birth certificate, etc and keep them in a place where you can collect them quickly, along with your bank book, cash, any important photos or memorabilia.
Wait until it is safe for you to leave your home, and never look back. If you want to, you can message me thru DU. I wish you well, and good luck.
auntAgonist
(17,252 posts)please for heaven's sake won't you remove that little bug that you have going around in circles on the lower left side of the communication area. It is most distracting and for those of us with health issues it literally can make us sick. IE: for some, seizures for others dizziness and for yet another group of people physically tossing our cookies.
It's hard to go through the thread and try to work up a helpful answer for you or reiterate what someone else has said when your brain thinks heaving would be better.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. You're not paying attention to the folks who have given you EXCELLENT scenarios and advice. YOU must help yourself. NO one is going to do it for you. It just doesn't work that way.
aA
kesha