Been a long time since I posted here!

[Ms. Toad]

Last edited Sun Oct 30, 2022, 10:30 PM - Edit history (1)

I retired in April, and am taking a film photography class. I just created an image I love as part of our portraiture assignment. It loses a bit here, as a digital photograph of a film print - but I hope you enjoy it!

The image is a self-portrait. The flowers are from a student - a gift when I retired in April. The timing of my retirement was not of my own choosing. The dean (who had just been booted out of his job) decided to take part of his anger out on me. Since he had no basis to terminate me for cause he was unable to get rid of me without 6 months' advance notice. I retired at 5 months and a few days - the last retirement date before the day he set for termination.

So retirement has been bittersweet. On the one hand it's time. I have had the full support of my students - for whom I work tirelessly. But I have had very little administrative support for several years. I'm unbelievably pissed at the destruction wreaked by this dean on his way out the door (not just directed at me). So there is a lot of beauty in the gift from my student - despite the potential ugliness of the roses wilting before they dried. And I am coming to see the beauty of retirement, despite the ugliess of its beginning.

The part of my body visible in the image is scarred and aging. The scar on my right arm (left in the photo) is a skin graft, covering what started as a 5" diameter x 1" deep gouge from the removal of a sarcoma. Sarcoma is a very rare and aggressive collection of cancers, with which I was diagnosed at the height of COVID. Similar to the roses, my scarred and imperfect body is still beautiful.

[Solly Mack]

1. I love it!

[Ms. Toad]

2. Thanks! n/t

[Walleye]

3. Beautiful photo. I too retired earlier than I wanted to.

But my job was pretty physically demanding and I could feel my body breaking down. I’m now suffering arthritis in all the joints and have dealt with breast cancer, all in all I know results of anybody else and I gotten into retirement. Very isolated down since the pandemic. I grew up in dark room and made a living that way for quite a few years. I used to love doing black-and-white portraits for myself. Good luck and keep up the good work.

[Ms. Toad]

4. I've made a concerted effort to enjoy retirement despite how it started.

Photography is one of two classes I'm taking, and I'm about to head out to practice for Scrooge (the musical). I acted through high school, and always said I wanted to dive back in when I had time. Now I have time! And the first big thing I did once I retired was to take a long-delayed dive trip. (I also have less fun things - like refurbishing my daughter's "new" century home and redoing the kitchen in my own.)

I'll probably slow down, but I wanted to start out doing everything I wanted to - since I know that age will creep up on me and limit what I can do later on.

(I also have breast cancer - just as I was hitting the 5-year mark I was diagnosed with sarcoma. The fun never ends!)

[TdeV]

5. Lovely image.

[AndyS]

6. A very intriguing portrait indeed.

Enjoy your retirement, you've earned it. I retired more than 10 years ago and haven't looked back. I did take a job in a convenience store working the graveyard shift to buy a motorcycle and although I would never go back I can't say the experience didn't give me different view of life.

Film has it's challenges as does digital. One thing it does is to concentrate the mind. Unlike digital with it's instant gratification film is a process (pun intended) and tends to produce more thoughtful images as your portrait shows. The cost, both monetary and personal, of putting together an image, making the exposure and then processing and printing makes one pay attention from beginning to end.

Perfect that whole process, bring it back to digital and you'll really appreciate the capabilities that digital can offer to one who knows and understands the creative process before making an exposure.

If your portrait is any indication of how your venture into the 'dark arts' will affect your imagery, we just may find your work in a museum someday.

[Ms. Toad]

10. I did film photography in high school and college -

But it is amazing how lazy digital photography has made me! I've gotten way too used to being able to take hundreds of images, and crop away wherever I wanted. I am pretty proficient at the digital darkroom (aka photoshop), so that - too - has made me lazy. I also used to be able to think in black and white. I could see the scene and instinctively know the shades of black and white it would produce. I was shocked at how deeply that knowledge was buried.

This photo was even more challenging, since I could frame it and focus on the flowers - but I had no idea what would happen when I set off the timer and stepped into the frame.

Thank you for your kind words!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. Welcome back, my dear Ms. Toad! Your portrait is quite amazing.

I heartily second the comments by AndyS. He knows whereof he speaks.

[Ms. Toad]

11. Thank you! n/t

[JudyM]

8. I love this and the story behind it.

So deep, the real and the symbolic.

We humans.

Wishing you good health and a growing lightness of being as you settle into the real gift that retirement can be, Ms. Toad. An open road ahead…

[Ms. Toad]

12. Thank you!

It has been interesting describing the photo. I've posted it here (with a focus on photography), in my facebook sarcoma group (with a focus on supporting people living with sarcoma), and on my facebook timeline. The general theme in my description remains the same - but how I describe retirement, the roses, and the relation between the parts of the image vary somewhat. And - each time I describe it I figure out more/deeper meanings.

[Diamond_Dog]

9. Lovely. Very poignant.

Beautiful image.

[Ms. Toad]

13. Thank you! n/t

[alfredo]

14. Glad you are back

Early retiree and cancer survivor. Welcome to the club. We are many

[Ms. Toad]

15. Thanks!

I don't know how much I'll hang out in this forum for a while - life has gotten way busier than I anticipated (and film prints really don't translate that easily into quality images in the digital environment). But there are both advanced film and digital photography classes. I haven't decide which I'm taking yet. If I end up in the digital one I may return to being a frequent flier here!