Elderly parent safety question

[3catwoman3]

Looking for advice/personal experience, please.

My mom is 94 and lives by herself about 700 miles from me. Very stubborn and very independent. She is also deaf as a stone. She does have hearing aids, but, of, course, does not wear them 24/7. No relatives within a useful distance. One very watchful and devoted friend right across the street, and another couple about 15 minutes away. These folks, unbeknownst to my mom, have keys to her house in case of a true emergency. Knowing that would piss her off enormously, but I needed the peace of mind of someone being able to get in to her without having to break a window, and they have taken a vow of secrecy.

Happily, my mom is still sharp as the proverbial tack cognitively, so I have no concerns in that regard. Some mobility challenges from arthritic knees, and has intermittent atrial fibrillation. Not bad, all in all, for 94.

My mother is flying to us today, for a 2 week holiday visit. At 5:20 this morning, the across the street neighbor called, in near panic, to report that she had been calling my mom numerous times, as they had arranged, to be sure she was awake for her taxi. No answer. She finally braved the cold and trudged across the street with a bamboo stick and pounded on my mom's bedroom window (one story house - fortunately).

I was about 2 minutes away from calling her local police department.

Does anyone have experience with any of the Life Alert type devices? Helpful/ not helpful/ good ones/ bad ones/ total scam?

[cwydro]

1. VRI is what we have for my 90 year old mom.

Got the name from several of her friends (all over 90).

The son of one of them did the research and decided on this one.

They are excellent.

Feel free to pm me if you want anymore info.

She accidentally hit the alarm on her bracelet one morning. I was here, and they responded immediately through the set-up. Very nice and not at all perturbed that she did that accidentally.

[left-of-center2012]

2. Please provide a link for the VRI

I've been thinking of getting some system for myself as I am 70, live alone, and am in poor health.
Thanks

[3catwoman3]

4. Whatever I choose, I think...

..I will give it to her for Christmas.

If I merely make a suggestion, her stubborn independence would probably deter her from following thru.

She has often commented on how stubborn our 2 sons are. I tell her they got it from her.

[cwydro]

6. Believe me, it took forever for my mother to agree.

But she seems good with it now.

Many many services out there.

whichever you pick will give you peace of mind.

[PRETZEL]

5. Lifeline is good

alot of the consumers our agency deals with uses them.

One thing that people tend to overlook is to make sure the PERS system has a fall detector and that is does a daily system check.

Also, make sure the agency or provider you get it from has trained staff as well as regular equipment checks in addition to the equipment self check.

[3catwoman3]

7. She fell in the garage recently, trying...

...to retrieve something from one of those recycling containers that is big enough to put a person in. She is only 5'2", and it sounded as if she sort of tipped forward into it. When I asked her what the hell she was trying to get, it was some containers that frozen dinners come in. A friend had brought her some food, and she thought those would be handy to freeze the food in. Aauuugggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only is she stubborn and independent, she is very tight with a nickel, as a result of growing up during The Depression. She has promised me she will not attempt that again.

[PRETZEL]

8. My dad's the same way

he's 92 and if it wasn't for 2 of my brothers living with him and a third a few blocks away, I would be just as concerned as you are.

Remember, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact your mom's local Area Agency on Aging. They might be able to help.

[left-of-center2012]

9. Someone suggested the VRI system

Thought I'd be kind enough to provide a link:

http://www.vricares.com/

Have a Happy Christmas, and a Merry Holiday

?4

[July]

10. I got the Great Call device for my mother about 3 years ago.

After researching everything I could find on these devices, I went with GreatCall.

The good news is that it was a no-contract arrangement and was still cheaper than other similar devices. In addition, and more importantly, the set-up allowed us to be able to track her device, and the people we interfaced with were unfailingly helpful. You can give them a brief profile of the customer's important data, like doctor's contact info, the customer's medical conditions, and contact info for both family members and local friends or family.

The bad news is that it only works if you can get your parent in the habit of wearing or carrying it. My mother was beginning to show signs of a frontotemporal dementia but still living on her own, which was worrying to me and my siblings. She could not manage to keep it on her person, so when no-one could locate her for a day and a half, the device was of no help (she was okay, and the device was in the grass outside her apartment).

If your mom is sharp and can be convinced that it provides peace of mind for both her and family members, it's a good tool. She can call for help through it, and even if she can't communicate, they will set things in motion to make sure she's okay, or call police or rescue.

Also, since it's a month-to-month arrangement, it's easy to cancel (you still keep the device). We had no problem doing that when we had to find my mother a place in a memory-care unit of a care "village."

[trof]

11. I'm 75. Why are some old folks so damned hard headed?

Believe me, I welcome any help offered by anyone.
It's not that I'm used to being dependent on others.

For 30+ years I was an airline pilot.
At work, I was in absolute control.
In life, I was a bit of a control freak.
It came naturally.

Now, I'm in different circumstances.
I'm a lot older.
My reflexes aren't what they used to be.
I move and react slower than I did in my 30s and 40s and 50s.
It's just a fact of life.

Sorry you're having a hard time.

[BigDemVoter123]

12. I don't have any experience with any particular brand

but one of my friends said the Life Alert is a waste of money. He said it didn't operate as it should and that his mother fell and nobody came.

[Heddi]

13. Some things about life alert

1) Medicare or Medicare Advantage plans typically don't pay for them
2) You can get a more inexpensive version from Walmart
3) They all involve a monthly subscription fee

I'm a RN-Case Manager and deal with these things on a regular basis. Also just attempted to get one for my grandmother who has had recent falls. My aunt (her sister) actually looked into it and found the inital setup charge for the necklace/bracelet and receiver was about $300 and it was $50 a month with a 3-year subscription.

It can/will be taken away if used improperly repeatedly. I have many patients who gleefully press the life alert for bullshit, like needing something off the top shelf of the cabinet, or (true story) someone to go to 7-11 and buy her cigarettes and bring them. Often patients will push it just for someone to come because they're lonely and want to talk. Just had a patient this week have her life alert taken away by the local police because she used the thing roughly 60 times a month for the last 30 months. She lives in a small town with limited emergency response vehicles/personnel and she was just abusing it.

They can be a real life saver for patients, but they do have a financial cost.

If your mom is dually enrolled in Medicare/Medicaid or Medicare Advantage/Medicaid, often the Medicaid waiver will pick up the out of pocket expense of the equipment but not the monthly charge.

There is also the issue of range of the device. The way they typically work is the patient has a pendant or bracelet-type item with a button on it. The button activates a receiver that is placed somewhere in the house. The receiver is like a big speaker. They push the button which dials the Life Alert company. Someone comes on the speaker and asks what the emergency is and the patient yells out (or not if they're incapacaitated) and the company dials 911 for the patient.

The problem is if your mom has multiple floors in her home typically every floor will need a receiver b/c of range. They also will not work if your mom is outside and presses the button, again b/c of range.