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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsKitchen gadgets review: the Egg Master – a horrifying, unholy affair
What?
The Egg Master (£29.99, DecentGadget, Amazon) is a vertical grill encased in silicone housing. Ingredients poured into the plastic tube are heated by an embedded, wraparound element. When ready, food spontaneously rises from the device.
Why?
Because there is no God.
Well?
This weeks gadget describes itself as a new way to prepare eggs, which is accurate in the way that chopping off your legs could be described as a new way to lose weight. Lets start with that name, its unsettling taint of S&M, an overtone consistent with the design. In hot pink and stippled black rubber, Egg Masters exterior screams cut-price, mail-order adult toy; its funnelled hole suggests terrible uses. And it has a traffic light on it, for some reason.
Spray non-stick agent into container, the box advises, which definitely gets the tummy rumbling. As instructed, I crack two whole eggs into the hot tunnel, trying to ignore the gurgling sound from within. Its impossible to see whats going on but it smells bad. I squint into the dark opening. A bulging yellow sac peers back at me. Minutes pass; the smell does not. Then, without warning, a flaccid, spongy log half jumps from the machine, writhing like an alien parasite in search of a host body. Its horrifying, like a scene from The Lair of the White Worm.
more
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jul/15/kitchen-gadgets-review-egg-master-horrifying-unholy-affair?CMP=fb_gu
sarge43
(28,946 posts)DawgHouse
(4,019 posts)ret5hd
(20,542 posts)453 of 538 people found the following review helpful
No Other Product Produces Quicker, More Delicious Phallic Shaped Breakfast
By Master Griller - A true rennaissannce man on June 12, 2013
If you are looking for the easiest way to cook phallic shaped food your search is over.
No other appliance comes close and believe me I know as I have tried them all.
I have tried, in order, the VerticEgg, the Egg-on-a-Pole, the Chubby Egg, and the One Eyed Trouser Boiler and none of them were as easy to use and produced a truly phallic product.
The Rollie is easy to use and cooks everything I have put in it perfectly. I have not yet tried the other suggestions such as cinnamon rolls and pancakes, but I can't wait to do so.
On the flip side I will be perfectly honest and tell you that I am somewhat jealous of the product it produces. I have never before had "egg envy" but I do now. Watching my wife drool over her phallic egg on a stick reminds me of when we were newlyweds. I haven't seen her look at me like she looks at her eggs in a long time.
But I digress. For what it does, make phallic shaped egg treats that pop up on a stick in a jiffy, the Rollie can't be beat.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,229 posts)are better than the products. The questions are great too.
Banana Slicer
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/reviews/B0047E0EII/ref=cm_cr_dp_aw_btm?qid=1437093973&sr=8-1
Bic For Her Pens
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004F9QBE6/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1437094189&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SY200_QL40&keywords=bic+for+her+pens&dpPl=1&dpID=41Q45H-h1YL&ref=plSrch
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)and the result will not be purty.
sarge43
(28,946 posts)jmowreader
(50,572 posts)Solly Mack
(90,795 posts)The review is hilarious.