6 Stupid Reasons Actual People Are Scared Of Net Neutrality

[IronLionZion]

According to the most popular British talk show host on American premium cable, net neutrality is one of the most important regulations for the future of telecommunications (and, by extension, all of humanity under the age of 50). Net neutrality is about making sure your ISP can't control what you view on the Internet and how fast you view it -- or, as the aforementioned talk show host put it, "Preventing Cable Company Fuckery." How could anyone possibly be against something as basic as that? The answer, as the following reactions to net neutrality prove, is "by being hilariously stupid."

#6. An Anti-Net-Neutrality Group Made A Pseudo-Porn Parody

Protect Internet Freedom is a group of concerned folks, not cable company lobbyists / possible reptilians, trying to raise awareness of the evils of net neutrality. How? For starters, by making an anti-net-neutrality porn parody ... parody. For real:

The video (which is safe for work, unless your workplace bans cringing) starts with a woman going to her door and being greeted by a buff cable guy. Just as the porno grooves indicate that boning is about to commence, the cable stud is brushed aside by a bunch of nerds in suits, representing the government. The "Department of the Internet" officers then go into the young horny lady's home and start rifling through her shit. They inexplicably make her replace her webcam, ask her about listening to music in the shower, and then make her sign a contract which is intended to look unnecessarily confusing, but actually looks pretty similar to what you really sign with an Internet provider.

http://www.cracked.com/article_22006_6-idiotic-ways-people-are-panicking-about-net-neutrality.html

I should have been a cable technician. Maybe a career change is in order.