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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsNutty things we say to our pets
"Would you get your ass out of my eye?" Me to Charley, a cat, last night.
What's yours?
Graybeard
(6,996 posts)I loved the cartoon of a pooch looking dismayed and saying,
"Am I going to live my entire life and not know who's the
best doggy?"
hunter
(38,353 posts)I swear our dogs think that's an encouragement even though they always get a bath if we catch them in it. I know where the poison oak is in all the places we commonly visit and those seem to be the places they most want to run through.
tk2kewl
(18,133 posts)my dog barks too damn much, but I love him anyway.
MiddleFingerMom
(25,163 posts).
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That's EXACTLY what I say!!!!!
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But, um... you know... I talk to myself a LOT!!!
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Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)SwissTony
(2,560 posts)I must have about 40 nicknames for him and he understands them all.
OriginalGeek
(12,132 posts)about how it's bad to pee in the hallway and you shouldn't pester the bird's tail-feathers and it's not your job to herd the cat out of the kitchen, the dog will look up at me and cock her little head sideways and I'll say "You haven't learned to speak English at all, have you?"
mockmonkey
(2,841 posts)I can't think of anything at the moment but I do change their names to whatever strikes my fancy.
For example:
MamaKat becomes MamaKat Elliot
StinkerButt becomes Dinker Duck
Kerry is often called Kerry Cat and then that becomes Carrot Cat
Titus is Titmouse or Titty
Patches is Patches Moe "which I sing" I think it's like Louis Armstrong "Satchmo"
This one is weird and a bit off color. When I was a kid the newspaper comics had a section on the back with Cappy Dick. Here he is.
http://www.loti.com/cappy_dick.htm
So Captain is called Cappy Dick followed by "you crusty old seaman"
What can I say it amuses me and disgusts my EX.
I have names for the other cats and it gets so that the other night for the life of me I couldn't remember one of the cat's name.
mithnanthy
(1,725 posts)Funny names. We have Buster, (a polydactal cat) who we sing a song " Bussie the Snowman" is a very happy fellow....He's got spots and BIG FAT FEET and eyes like Limoncello. We had a kitty Andi Pandy Cotton Candy and now we have Binkenstein (his friends call him Binky. We've always named our cats many funny names.........somehow it soothes our souls and makes us smile.
Bertha Venation
(21,484 posts)Well said, mithnanty.
nolabear
(42,005 posts)"Bunny Makes the World Go 'Round"
"B. Rabbit, B. Rabbit" (Sung to the tune of John Prine's "Dear Abby"
And Merrily, whose nickname is Schmoopie, gets "Hang On Schmoopie! Schmoopie Hang On!"
Cats and dogs never think you're an idiot. Well, cats maybe...
zanana1
(6,139 posts)After an old song called "Denise". "Ooh Minou, doo-be-doo, "I'm I love with you, Minou, doo-be- doo.... I know it's pathetic but she likes it.
pipi_k
(21,020 posts)my girls have them too (two German Shepherd sisters)
Lucy Poo and Nikki Poo
or Pooter...
Pupsters
Chimperd (Lucy because she hoots like a chimp)
and Shrimperd (Nikki because she's smaller than her sister)
Inkfreak
(1,695 posts)My wife does that too. At first I was looking at her like she's nuts. But now I do too. An example: our cat Butters has become Mr. Nutter Butterball.
Hahaha. Nice to see we're not alone.
UTUSN
(70,793 posts)prolonged follow-up, "Hmmmmmm?!1" as if that will elicit the answers.
LWolf
(46,179 posts)I said that to the cat yesterday; she finally made a successful jail break and landed, totally overstimulated, into the big back yard with all the trees and brush and bushes and...the rooster. The rooster was appalled, and kept maneuvering behind things, trying to avoid her. She stalked him, tail lashing wildly. While all this was going on, I also said to the dog, "guard the gates; don't let her out."
Thankfully, we successfully recaptured her before the rooster realized that he was bigger, and had a beak, talons, and spurs. He's never actually used them on anything.
Bertha Venation
(21,484 posts)I love videos of cats and chickens together. Usually the chicken chases the cat.
"Leave the rooster alone. He's bigger than you."
olddots
(10,237 posts)when ever they show a fox news turd maggot on TV I just have to start screaming .
Wait Wut
(8,492 posts)I also made my boy kitty dance when the Bears got a touchdown last nite. He really didn't seem as into as I was.
Bertha Venation
(21,484 posts)Wait Wut
(8,492 posts)...than Chili was last nite.
Brigid
(17,621 posts)It's been around for years!
LoveMyCali
(2,015 posts)I didn't even click on it but that song is going to be in my head for about a week now. ... and I dance, dance, dance.
Brigid
(17,621 posts)And I meow meow meow
And I meow meow meow
I know -- I'm not helping, am I?
Inkfreak
(1,695 posts)Gidney N Cloyd
(19,847 posts)I watched way too many cartoons in my formative years.
graywarrior
(59,440 posts)Answer: scratch my rear end.
Bertha Venation
(21,484 posts)Around the Waldorf Cat Haven, they stand in line at the bathroom door for their turn getting their butts patted.
graywarrior
(59,440 posts)Kamere goes psycho if I locked the bathroom door.
RiffRandell
(5,909 posts)My cat Jackie always follows me into the can, and I scratch her back near her tail then she sticks her rear end in the air.
graywarrior
(59,440 posts)I thought it was just my weird cat!
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,003 posts)"I really don't want to look at your asshole."
NV Whino
(20,886 posts)You know better than that. Right.
tavernier
(12,428 posts)Coconut or Coco-loco when she's acting nutty; Miss Coco Chanel when she's preening herself. Miss Cuckoo when she runs and crashes into walls.
Ten years gone: thanks for the memory.
Brigid
(17,621 posts)And she just looks at me like, "Why?"
applegrove
(118,926 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)I say that -- and more -- to my kitty boys.
RebelOne
(30,947 posts)That is what I always say to my Chihuahua when I am not screaming at her to shut up when she barks. Chihuahuas are notorious yappers.
alarimer
(16,245 posts)Who has a habit of getting on the very edge of the bed, to rub against the bedside table. Naturally, this puts his butt right at eye level for me.
MerryBlooms
(11,776 posts)Which never works and they either continue knocking and yowling, or I open the door.
"Oh poor Harry, you got the drama. Tell momma all about it. What happened?" Harry is our LH Siamese and tells me all about something constantly. He's a bit of a diva.
"Uh oh, did you fall down right there?" Both our cats will just stop/drop/roll over for tummy rubs and make air biscuits. We call it 'paying the toll', because it often happens at the top/bottom of stairs or doorways and we always give them tummy and chin rubs before stepping over them.
"Harry, come here and be a luvbug!" Harry will come running and before he's on my lap, he's already purring. He knows it means I have his favorite blankie on my lap and lots of petting or brushing.
"Don't bite the baby!" Jag freezes for a second, blinks (expecting a squirt of water) and then resumes playing too rough with Harry and then I have to get the squirt gun and let him have it.
"Treatsies!"
"Let's get the brush."
"A little sumthin sumthin" means their canned food.
"Go outside!" Sun room.
"Laser!"
They both come running when I whistle for them.
I talk to them a lot... maybe too much. They do know a lot of words and phrases.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Your description of the kitty blink before the squirt bottle is spot on.
Neoma
(10,039 posts)Smudgie is the Tuxedo cat. Her nicknames include: The Smudge, Turd, Fraidy cat, Chirpy.
Galaga has nicknames too: Gala, Gremlin, Squeaker, Turd Jr, Flopsey, Fearless.
With Galaga I am constantly yelling at her. "Stop that!" "Get off of there!" "What are you doing?!" And I really do have to keep track of where she is every second of the day. She doesn't walk, she stalks, and it's simply hard to explain how much of a handful that damn cat is. Smudgie however... Kind of boring compared to Galaga. She doesn't do anything wrong much. Galaga destroyed our futon completely and Smudgie still uses the scratching post...
Edit: I can't think of anything weird I've said to the cats lately.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)LoveMyCali
(2,015 posts)Symone is a year older but she's my "Fraidy Cat" while Raven is my little crazy girl constantly looking for her next adventure or another way to get in trouble. Raven is also the snuggler of the two which is why I just can't stay mad at her.
Sissyk
(12,665 posts)when he was on the toilet??
Cause it's like his catdar goes off when a butt cheeck hits the seat in either bathroom.
LoveMyCali
(2,015 posts)My cat Raven likes to drop toys in the water dish.
onestepforward
(3,691 posts)He also put his toys in my shoes.
madinmaryland
(64,934 posts)B Calm
(28,762 posts)Texasgal
(17,049 posts)DOO DOO PUFF!
RiffRandell
(5,909 posts)Last edited Sun Aug 18, 2013, 02:39 AM - Edit history (1)
I make up songs about them, insert their names into songs, give them all different nicknames and talk baby talk to them.
politicat
(9,808 posts)She's a 21 year old Siamese in excellent health for her age (some kidney failure, but under control) with typical levels of dementia for a creature past her "century" mark (as in, can get lost in a bathtub and loses her humans if we leave her line of sight for 20 seconds). She also talks ALL THE TIME, and is to the Aunt Slappy stage of old-age cranky -- do it my way, or I will smack your shins with my cane. (This isn't new.)
I love her, I am more than willing to make sure she gets loads of attention in the time she has left... But dammit, cat, your thumb-monkey-slaves have to clean litter boxes, wash dishes and open the cans of food. Also, keep jobs so that we can keep buying your food. So would you please go lay in the sun and imitate a limp rag like any not-neurotic, self-respecting feline? I don't need either supervision or micromanagement.
vanlassie
(5,695 posts)We have three. Dogs, that is.
MrMickeysMom
(20,453 posts)... "and let you drink out of the water fountain we just bought for your licking pleasure..."
Well, I AM Mr. Mickey's Mom, after all, and he isn't getting any less royal treatment in his old age!
d_r
(6,907 posts)I call my daughter "sissy" for a nickname. Goes back to her big brother calling her that as a baby.
I was walking the dog to pick her up at school. I was walking around to waste time and when it was about time for school to let out I said to the dog "let's go get sissy"
A guy looked at me like I was nuts and I realized he thought I was talking to the dog as of I was saying my daughter was dog's sister.
MountainLaurel
(10,271 posts)Spoken to the golden retriever as he went digging into the hedge looking for his tennis ball.
eppur_se_muova
(36,317 posts)A HERETIC I AM
(24,382 posts)BARKENATTUM, BARKENATTUM, BARKENATTUM!
BARKENATDACARS! BARKENATDACARS!
BB? getdaskwirrel. Getum.
Whooza sweety sweety pie pie?
He's my widdle waddle pup pup!
And I miss him every single day.
Get dat squirrel, BB. Getum!
The Elegant Tourist, forever occupying the passenger seat of my heart.