I know I can do this.

[Tobin S.]

Have you ever had that feeling? I've had that "I don't know if I can do this or not" feeling quite a bit over my college career. Now, when I'm presented with a challenge, I know I can do it. It's just a matter of doing the work.

I get 'A's in school now. I'm a 40 year old senior. I do some classes online, and when I view the other students' postings to the class forums I feel more like a teacher than a student. They have an edge on me, though. Where I can express myself better due to my experience, they usually have a better memory for the details. But I'm doing well.

I just wish I had it together as well 20 years ago. I see kids who are half my age now who really have their shit together. My wife tells me that if I had gone a different path that maybe I would not have met her, and she is the love of my life. So I would not trade sanity at 20 for what I have now. I just wish I could have had both.

[Xyzse]

1. Sounds good sir...

And I'm happy for you.
I wouldn't trade such a thing for the world either.

You're doing well.

[Tobin S.]

3. Thank you

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Oh, I hear you, my dear Tobin...

But you can't go back...

Now is all we have. And I'd say that the view from here is that you're doing very well.

[Tobin S.]

4. Yes indeed

I'm doing the best I can with what I have now. I think that's all that can reasonably be expected.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

5. My motto since my early 20's (I am now in my sixties) is that

with enough time and enough money, I can put a man on the moon.

[Locut0s]

9. Lol. Interesting motto...

Give me enough time and money and I'll give you anything! How has that worked out for you?

[OffWithTheirHeads]

13. not enough of either .

[Neoma]

6. Hrrrmm.

I feel the same in a different way I guess. I'm just now going back to college 5 years later and it's only one class, just to see how much I can handle over time. I'm doing this for my sanity, but I wish I didn't have to do it so slow. Driving and college became demons due to ...certain experiences.

[Locut0s]

8. How old are you? You say 5 years later...

Which sounds to me like you are relatively young. Don't worry you have plenty of time.

[Neoma]

11. 24.

... I feel a lot older than that.

[Locut0s]

7. Congrats keep plugging away at it. I'll probably be in your shoes at 40...

If I'm lucky that is. Things didn't go well for me during my teens, 20s, and now 30s. So who knows maybe when I reach 40 things will smooth out? I know what you mean about age being an advantage though. I've always been an A or A+ student, not to blow my own horn, but I've gained in maturity over the years as well and now certain things are just so much clearer. Like I've climbed a hill and can see above the fog I and others were in. Many kids in the classes I was in have difficulty seeing the forest for the trees so to speak. If only I could do so emotionally. I envy you and your wife. One of the biggest things I lack is a life partner to see me through the lonely times, which is pretty much always now.

To some extent it's helped emotionally too actually. I no longer worry so much about giving presentations and speaking in front of the class, and have come to realise that I'm actually better than most at it.

[Tobin S.]

14. I think you are on the right track

based on your recent posts. I know you had a little set back recently, but hang in there. I think that doctor you are seeing is going to help you. I hope so. You seem like a nice guy who is just having a hard time. But I think the problem is fixable.

[nomorenomore08]

10. I got my BA (literature/creative writing) in 2007, at age 22. But I've thought about going back

for an MFA, since I could then ostensibly teach writing at a community college. And seeing as how I'll have to figure out a way to make a living eventually, one way or another, that doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

Good to hear you're doing well though. Plenty of people don't have their lives as together at 40 as you seem to, "late bloomer" or not.

[Tobin S.]

15. Thank you

Maybe there is such a thing as karma. Ten years ago I could not have been more screwed up and I was like that for the preceding ten years. I'll take an order of good karma with some love and peace on the side.

[MiddleFingerMom]

12. When I read of your plans and hopes, there is no one I know about whom I can so unequivocally say...

.
.
.
... not only "YES... HE CAN!!!", but...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.... "YES... HE WILL!!!"
.
.
.
Jen is right... but I'll put it more strongly. If you had made different, "better" decisions
along the way, you would most certainly NOT have met her.
.
.
.
So... stop any wistful looks back and keep your confident and productive look at now
and the path your life is GOING to take.
.
.
.
OK, OK... don't forget the past -- but instead of a "where would I be" fixation" -- use
it as a guide for more productive and happy goals for which to aim.
.
.
.
Ya done... and are doing... good, my friend.
.
.
.

[Tobin S.]

16. Thanks, MFM.

Yep, I am a man of action. A lot of people don't understand that they can guide their own lives to a great degree. They seem to think they are victims of fate and have very little if any control. I've got news. If you are of sound mind and body, you have more control than you know.

I hope you are feeling better, MFM. I saw you were posting some jokes earlier today. I'm going to take that as a good sign.