Why I didn't attend the wedding. Lucky break.

[trof]

I don't usually mind attending weddings of youngsters starting out.
Especially if I know them well and like them.

But this one was third for her, second for him, they're both in their 60s.
Not especially close friends of mine, but she's a buddy of Miz t.'s.


So I was resigned.


We stopped for gas on the way.
When I sat back down I felt the seat seam in my pants just go.
Definitely a rip. I told Miz t.
"I'll see how bad it is when we get there."

Well, it was bad. I had a blazer on, so it didn't show as long as I stood still and didn't put my hands in my pockets.
I always put my hands in my pockets. I was very uncomfortable with my ass hanging out and said so.
"I just can't do this. I can't go through the whole ceremony and reception with my ass hanging out"
"What do you want to do?"
"Go home."

So I did.


We live about 40 minutes from where the wedding was so changing pants and returning didn't make much sense. The wedding and most of the reception would be over. I made sure Miz t. had a ride home with friends in our neighborhood.

The Punch Line
Today I got three calls from guys who also attended but didn't really want to.
"Where did you get those breakaway pants?"

[Suich]

1. It's nice when a plan comes together, isn't it?

[trof]

5. There's a word I'm looking for in my brain and can't find.

It's not 'unintended consequences'.
It's when something good unexpectedly happens.
Something not planned or expected
Damn!
Getting old sucks.

[Princess Turandot]

6. Seat-of-the-pants serendipity, perhaps?

[trof]

8. SERENDIPITY! That's IT!

Thanks.

[Princess Turandot]

10. My pleasure!

[Tsiyu]

12. More like

Seren-RIPPETY !

Yer pants done saved yer ayss!

[dixiegrrrrl]

16. Sure you are not thinking of the bride and groom, perhaps.?

Sara n Dipity

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. You lucked out, my dear trof!

Breakaway pants, LOL!

[Ikonoklast]

3. So, your donut workout regimen actually finally paid off?

Awesome.

[trof]

7. Well, here's the deal...

I'm really not a fat ass.
These pants were nice and roomy.
But here in the coastal south, I rarely wear dress pants.
Maybe half a dozen times a year.
Mostly weddings and funerals .

The rest of the time it's shorts or khakis or jeans in cooler months.

So slacks hang in the closet most of the time.
Maybe the humidity got to the thread?
Moths?
Who knows?

[Ikonoklast]

9. I'd go with evil closet gnomes.

Same guys that steal your socks.

[trof]

11. I'll try that out on Miz t. ECGs.

Yeah

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. strategic placement and timing.

and lucky you

[SteveG]

13. All you need is this lil gizmo

http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_SPM6084963308P?sid=IDx20110310x00001i&srccode=cii_184425893&cpncode=33-84881104-2


[img]&d=1e9d80377c0577f7c23f2d4c2aeaaeda754e11d7[/img]
you only need to get it started and nature will take it's course.

[marzipanni]

14. Since you were saved by this method one time, it will not work again

Next time a similar situation occurs, buy a non-clear beverage at the gas station and spill it on your pants.
For any events thereafter, where your wife senses reluctance on your part, she will probably pack a change of pants for you.

[trof]

18. Yeah, I know. It was a one-off.

[pipi_k]

20. That's when

he changes his MO and spills a messy non-clear beverage down the front of his shirt and tie.

When that one gets old, a secret self-administered dose of a powerful laxative should make things interesting...

and so forth.

[nobodyspecial]

15. This only works once

She will start packing spare pants

[Yavin4]

17. Hey, You've Got a Great Business Idea There

Sell pants that can rip on command and you get out of attending crappy functions.

[Blue_Tires]

19. Good call...Hope you watched a ballgame instead...