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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsMy mom died today
She was 95 so she lived a long life and she was lucky lived mostly on her own, last 4 years in a senior apt that did meals and cleaning but no medical. She even went to a pumkin patch few weeks ago with my daughter and great grandkids. She told me she was tired last few days felt off but I wasn't super worried as she has pulled through many illnesses.
Her friends noticed she wasn't at lunch so did a check on her, I knew she was eating in apt because I sent her microwave soup.
My first reaction was but I didn't get to say goodbye I am not ready, crazy considering her age but I heard its a common reaction.
My mom use to drive me batty but the last few years all that was gone and healed which I am very glad for.
Live in peace mom forever!
niyad
(113,581 posts)and healing with her.
Your DU family is here for you.
debm55
(25,412 posts)sheshe2
(83,925 posts)Chautauquas
(4,452 posts)IbogaProject
(2,841 posts)And happy for you and her she skipped any nursing home period.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)Wasn't because she ate great, right up to the end she would get sick from eating fatty foods and loved sweets.
I think she lived a long time because she was a very forgiving positive person and no matter what you said she would try to find the good in it.
OAITW r.2.0
(24,610 posts)Hope22
(1,863 posts)Im so sorry. 💗💗🙏🏼💐
Lefta Dissenter
(6,622 posts)No matter how ready you are, youre never ready. Youll always be grateful for the time with her, however, as Im sure she was ever so grateful for you.
All the best, most healing hugs to you.
Stuart G
(38,448 posts)SCRUBDASHRUB
(7,252 posts)Duncanpup
(12,895 posts)KarenS
(4,087 posts)After my Mom passed, I talked to her all the time. I still miss her and it's been 11 years. She taught me so much.
May you find your peace. ((Hugs))
highplainsdem
(49,041 posts)But it was a blessing that your mom had so many years in such good health she didn't need a nursing home or a lengthy, painful hospitalization.
I believe she is at peace now, and healthy and young again on the other side. And still able to hear anything you want to say to her. Whether or not it's spoken aloud.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)She told me this past year she didn't want to make it to 100 like I would joke about, said she was ready to go and tired. I think she might have just let herself go.
Diamond_Dog
(32,073 posts)marked50
(1,371 posts)LoisB
(7,234 posts)I am glad you had her for so long and you were able to heal any rift. It sounds as if she was living life well right until the end.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)in her mid 40's and why she lived near her. I was closer to dad than her but loved her also. She wanted to be near grandkids and great grandkids and Julie would bring the whole family to her at least once a month and take her out to eat and park. I think things like that kept her going being with the young ones. I live out of state and came every two months.
LoisB
(7,234 posts)Beautiful.
SouthernDem4ever
(6,617 posts)I lost mine in 2021. She was 1 month shy of 103.
revmclaren
(2,530 posts)BigmanPigman
(51,630 posts)this afternoon when I childhood friend called to say her 94 year old dad died. Every time I hear of a parent or pet dying it brings back the pain of my own dad and dog dying all over again. I am sorry you are going through this. I hate it when it is near holiday time since I don't feel celebratory. Please take care of yourself and listen to your heart, do not try to be "normal". Also, listen and be aware of your dreams. My dad came to visit me and I was so glad.
Permanut
(5,642 posts)seems that time does change things; I went through that with my Mother 20 years ago.
bahboo
(16,358 posts)she was 95 as well. She had a great life up until the last few years, when dementia took its toll. The news came as a shock at first...how can it not. But, we were prepared and in fact, her death was a blessing. It's hard, but we just give thanks we had her for so long....
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)My mom was very lucky had a sharp mind to the end. My cousin played 10 games of words with friends with her right up to the end.
sinkingfeeling
(51,474 posts)It was horrible to watch my 96 year old mother suffer the last 3 weeks if her life.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)My dad who died in 2000 of cancer was in a bunch of pain the last few months, awful to watch.
gademocrat7
(10,672 posts)to you and your family on the loss of your dear mother.
JudyM
(29,279 posts)No warning is so difficult, but the gift that you mended your hearts together will always be the most important salve, Ill bet.
Wishing you peace.
Laura PourMeADrink
(42,770 posts)something you were lucky to avoid!!!
She knew you loved her.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)At the end of our text chat I said I love you mom and she said back I love you too sweetie. Melts my heart she always called me sweetie.
people
(630 posts)Your mom led such a long life and she got to know you into your maturity. That's so fortunate for both of you. You will miss her for a long time. Take good care of yourself.
Ocelot II
(115,861 posts)It's hard regardless - my dad was 92 and even so it was too soon. Condolences.
LauraInLA
(426 posts)BoomaofBandM
(1,773 posts)TheBlackAdder
(28,216 posts)Deuxcents
(16,344 posts)So many events with you and your family. I hope the celebration of her life brings peace and comfort for you and your family and friends. 💐
joe_stampingbull
(165 posts)to have her around so long. My mother died at 84. I wish she had a few more years.
CottonBear
(21,596 posts)I know it must have been quite a shock.
My dad died unexpectedly, when I was 17.
At first, your mom will seem so far away, but, with time, shell draw closer to you. You will always miss her, but youll always have her love for you and your love for her in your heart.
Your mom was so lucky to live a long and healthy life.
Take care of yourself and reach out to your friends and your DU friends if you need to talk.
Fla Dem
(23,758 posts)stage left
(2,966 posts)We are never ready.
virgdem
(2,126 posts)May the memories of your Mom bring you peace and comfort.
mobeau69
(11,156 posts)bamagal62
(3,269 posts)cate94
(2,813 posts)It is so hard to lose a parent, even when they have lived a long life.
pazzyanne
(6,557 posts)RestoreAmerica2020
(3,439 posts)Hermit-The-Prog
(33,439 posts)My mother died at 95 and a half. She was ready, which helped me to be ready. I spent much of my life dreading the day, but her attitude and acceptance changed that in her last decade.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)She was ready at the end told me she didn't want to be 100 was ready to go, I think she just let herself go.
Hermit-The-Prog
(33,439 posts)Said she was tired.
We have our memories to celebrate their lives.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)at least she has peace now.
Emile
(22,935 posts)years old to cancer.
kimbutgar
(21,195 posts)Sounds like you had a good Mom. But always remember she is with you in your heart and spirit and sometimes when things get tough shell remind you shes still there for you!
LuckyCharms
(17,459 posts)Wicked Blue
(5,851 posts)Losing a beloved mother is hard at any age
SalmonChantedEvening
(31,953 posts)brer cat
(24,611 posts)area51
(11,922 posts)Dulcinea
(6,665 posts)She'll always be in your heart.
MiHale
(9,781 posts)badhair77
(4,221 posts)Its tough to let go and I wish you peace.
Niagara
(7,663 posts)keopeli
(3,525 posts)DarthDem
(5,256 posts)May your mother's memory be a blessing.
jrthin
(4,837 posts)thatcrowwoman
(1,229 posts)Be patient and kind and gentle with yourself in your mourning and remembrances.
How wonderful it is that you grew closer these past years.
My mamas been gone almost 4 years now, and I cried every day the first year. I still cry sometimes, and I reckon I always will. She was a nurse and believed in the healing power of salt water, be it tears, or sweat, or the ocean, or a salted soak in a warm tub. Salt water healing is one of the most important lessons I learned from mama. She comes to me in my dreams, and I still talk to her most days, laughing at something my dog has done, or spotting birds she liked, or making one of her many recipes, or trying something new.
Shes gone, but her love endures. Shes always in my heart. We are lucky daughters that way, you and I.
Sending you love and sweet Shalom, peace be with you.
🕊🩵thatcrowwoman
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)I am spending the day remembering all the good happy things she did for me from drawing and cutting out paper dolls to making special birthday parties with themes.
My dad was more my person than my mom but I loved her too. I know what you mean after my dad died I spent years going to the phone to call him, he was my best friend.
radical noodle
(8,013 posts)JohnSJ
(92,409 posts)LetMyPeopleVote
(145,567 posts)It sounds like a life well lived
Goddessartist
(1,879 posts)My Mom died this year too. May they both fly high.
iluvtennis
(19,874 posts)CousinIT
(9,258 posts)My Mom died at 94, also lived a good, long life but I still miss her EVERY day.
Wishing you much strength and peace at this heartbreaking time.
Rest in Peace Tree Lady's Mom
onecaliberal
(32,898 posts)Elessar Zappa
(14,070 posts)May she rest in peace. I dread the day I lose my parents, were very close.
peacebuzzard
(5,183 posts)I think our last goodbyes to moms are so heartbreaking.
I am so sorry for your loss; may you find strength and peace. 💔
marble falls
(57,246 posts)Beacool
(30,253 posts)It doesn't matter how old we are, or the age of our parents, we will always miss them when they're gone.
May your mother be resting in peace.
ancianita
(36,137 posts)Keep her memory close; it will be comforting at times when you least expect it.
malaise
(269,179 posts)electric_blue68
(14,943 posts)Glad you helped healed the relationship.
And an extra hug as a fellow tree lover.
JPPaverage
(510 posts)It sounds like she lived a great life and raised fine offspring. May she rest in power.
calimary
(81,500 posts)Theyre probably happy she finally was able to join them Upstairs.
May she fly high.
irisblue
(33,034 posts)Bayard
(22,155 posts)It must bring some peace of mind knowing you healed your differences. Its good that you lived in the same area so you could see her often.
Take care of yourself. Let us know how you're doing.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)I felt it was a honest thing to say because I can't pretend to be something I am not.
My mom was very passive/aggressive and was only this way with me and my brother everyone else thought she was the most kind and loving person which she could be. Twelve years ago my brother got mad at her for constant criticism and stopped visiting or any communication. I was even tempted a few times but told myself I should be patient as we all go through things that make us be the way we are.
The last few years though I stopped getting defensive, stopped trying to prove my point and she completely stopped except a few rare times.
By the end we got along great so I get to not feel guilty and deal with that.
Bayard
(22,155 posts)My Mom and I pretty much hated each other before I left home. But then, we became friends, especially the last several years of her life.
Sometimes , when you're a kid, he can be hard to remember your Mom is actually a person.
lostnfound
(16,191 posts)I am sorry for your pain. But Im glad you had good years recently that were especially peaceful.
Our hearts must expand to absorb the whole of this thing called life. It feels like pain but underneath I think it is something closer to profound gratitude.
Theres nothing wrong with talking to her as if she is still there, by the way. No one can say for sure, I think. Life is endlessly full of layers of surprises and beauty.
Blessings to you and all of your family.
wendyb-NC
(3,330 posts)Even when we know that a loved one can't live forever, and they're up in their 90's, it still can hit hard. May you embrace the happy memories, and savor her for the love and wisdom, the ways she was like, that were unique to her, that were reassuring, or memorable.
It's so amazing that she was able to go pick out pumpkins with her granddaughter, and great grandchildren, just a few weeks ago. That's so cool.
May she rest in peace, always.
Grumpy Old Guy
(3,172 posts)Different Drummer
(7,646 posts)It sounds like your mom was a remarkable woman. May she rest in peace!
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)this place is like a family of sorts and has been my safe place for almost 20 yrs in May.
greatauntoftriplets
(175,750 posts)pandr32
(11,615 posts)It is hard. I really don't think there is any way to prepare for such a loss because you can't know how it will affect you ahead of time. It sounds like your mom had her faculties right up until the end. That is a huge blessing. So many of us watched parents slowly lose themselves to some type of dementia. The fact that you shared time with her is wonderful.
May her memories remind you of her love, always.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)Playing words with friends right up to the end.
mountain grammy
(26,655 posts)Joinfortmill
(14,461 posts)I'm old and hope I go the way she did.
Tree Lady
(11,498 posts)Thanks.
Joinfortmill
(14,461 posts)FemDemERA
(230 posts)Such a loss for you and your family. It sounds like there have been some good family times with her lately and I hope remembering those times will give some heartwarmth to you all as you grieve together.
Charlie Chapulin
(172 posts)Miss my mom every day.
forgotmylogin
(7,531 posts)It will be difficult and your brain will hit you with all kinds of "I should have done this; I should have said this..." Allow yourself space to grieve and remember good things. My mom passed in September of 2022 and I'm still occasionally staving off thoughts of what I should have done. It will pass. Grief is a slow-melting bitter candy you have to work on gradually so it doesn't choke you when you're not expecting it. All the best to you and your family.
Clash City Rocker
(3,402 posts)Im so sorry for your loss.
peasant one
(150 posts)Hope you take care of yourself in the coming days and weeks. Let us know how it is going. It is always a hard transition to be suddenly without your mom.
Phentex
(16,334 posts)Treasure the good memories.