Those with siblings, did you ever feel like an only child?

[closeupready]

It's weird when I speak with people from other cultures and other families; they speak with their siblings all the time, about life problems, the state of their family, current events, etc.

I have friends who speak with their families only when necessary, like once a year or every other year. If that.

One friend of mine has taken to calling himself an only child, and I suppose in some respects, it's truthful. After all, if you never had the support of your family, and still don't, then you survived despite them, and I suppose deserve to call yourself whatever you want.

Your thoughts? Experiences?

[Tobin S.]

1. I'm not an only child, but

I have gone through times in my life when I thought I was all alone in the world, like nobody cared about me or even really knew me. It was a depressing feeling and a little scary, too. But the last time that happened I realized how liberating it was to be all alone and on your own.

Then I met my wife and got married.

[Archae]

2. Yes.

I'm in the middle of the family, and I'm the only boy.

Two older and two younger sisters.

I got in both ends.

[rurallib]

3. I am the youngest of 3 brothers. The middle brother is 4 years older

and there is 2 years between him and the oldest.
That 4 years was enough to exclude me from most everything they did together.
And my parents often seemed to act like I wasn't even there. They were pretty much drunk from the time I was 10.

[closeupready]

8. Oh, wow. I'm so sorry.

That must have really sucked.

[cyberswede]

15. ...

[texanwitch]

4. I was the baby of the family.

O yes.

[closeupready]

9. There we go.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

[bigwillq]

5. No

I have a twin sister.

My family is very close-knit.

[Kaleva]

6. I haven't spoken to some of my siblings in around 10 years

We are spread out all over the world and that's just the way it is. When we do get together though, it's like we've never been apart and we get along great. It's just that we have our own lives and we live so far apart.

There was a great deal more communication when the parents were still alive as they were like a central point.

[Swede]

7. We are a closeknit family,but live in different cities.

2 older brothers and a younger sister. I get together with one or the other of them every few months. Talk weekly on the phone.

[turtlerescue1]

10. My only sister is 18 years older

she got married before I was a year old. BUT her children are like my brothers. Worse it also gave me two moms.

Yep, Dad was thrilled at 40+ to have another 18 years to raise another child...HA!

[Broken_Hero]

11. In my experience

its a combination of not being home with my siblings throughout their whole upbringing, and location. I'm the second oldest of 12, I haven't been in contact with some of my brothers/sisters for years. I have a brother who I haven't talked to since 2004, he hates me for some perceived slights when we were younger, I mean...real young, like 5-9yrs old, stupid shit like "well you got that toy, or this, and I didn't" type of gripes. It makes no sense to me. I always send him xmas/bday cards, I haven't heard from him since Xmas of 04.

I have another brother who I haven't seen, nor talked with since 2005. I have no idea why he doesn't like me, I also send xmas/bday cards, get no feedback whatsover. Damn, in short, all of my brothers/sisters are haven't heard from or talked too in years....I try to stay connected via FaceBook, I send xmas/bday cards...but zero feedback.

I think the reason for some of it is the fact that I was so much older than them. By the time I was out of the house, most of my brothers and sisters were younger than ten. So when they were growing up, going to school, dealing with things I was never there because I moved out and tried finding my place in the world. Most of my siblings prefer to live with mom/dad, and a side note, all of us are out of HS, yet only two of us are living outside of home, and only one of us is living outside of town/state, that sibling being me.

On the other hand, I do talk with my parents on a weekly basis, and we get along a lot better than the years of my upbringing...of any of my family members, I have the most issue with my mother(meaning most drama in my younger days), yet I talk to her almost daily and get along with her rather well.

[closeupready]

12. I've often thought that

(and it can be hard to face this) that some families are not only dysfunctional, but actually have some members who are mentally ill.

That can sometimes make sense of the inexplicable nonexistent or even bad relationships people have with members of their families. So while seeming to be petty differences on the surface, there can be way deeper reasons for people not being able to get along with their siblings.

[mykpart]

13. I'm a middle child

and the one who was always expected to put the others first. I'm the second daughter, and the baby is male. I think I was supposed to be a boy, so they kept trying. When it came time to take care of the old folks, I might as well have been an only child. My siblings always had other things to do, so it fell to me. I'm one of the old folks now, and I speak to my siblings only when absolutely necessary, and then say as little as possible. My brother, the golden child, is a real asshole.

[texanwitch]

20. Been there, done that.

A from one caregiver to another.

I am youngest but I feel like the only child.

It is hard when the care of parents is placed on one child.

If you haven't lived the life you will never know.

[blueamy66]

14. My brother was 1 and 1/2 years older than me.

We fought daily.

He died.

I miss him every single day.

If I could have him back, I'd call him every single day!

[cyberswede]

16. I'm the 7th of 8 kids...

and I never felt like an only child.

We're still close (in fact, all but 2 of us live within 20 minutes of Mom's).

We lost my oldest sister 18 months ago, and that was sad, of course, but a very strange concept - we've been together so long, it was hard to imagine someone not being there any more.

I've enjoyed every minute of having a large family, and I wish I'd had more kids myself (we have two).

[Pool Hall Ace]

17. I am the youngest of three, and the only girl.

My brothers are 4 and 8 years older. I remember being a toddler and having lots of "mommy time" while they were at school, so at those times I felt like an only child (not that that was a bad thing).

These days, oldest brother doesn't speak to me or #2 (he's a one-percenter, dontcha know). Fortunately, Brother 2 and I are allied very tightly!

[mythology]

18. That depends on how one counts siblings

I am my mom's only kid, but I have 8 siblings.

I didn't meet any of my half siblings until I was 7, didn't get step siblings until I was 15 and I've never met my biological dad's adopted kids as he adopted them after I excised him from my life.

Other than one 4 month period, I've never lived with any of them.

That said, my mom's favored child growing up was her beloved malamute. To be fair, he was cuter and cost less to raise.

[Chan790]

19. Yes and a parent.

I was the oldest and somewhere around 14, my parents decided they were no longer interested in parenting...so I became the only HS freshman in the history of town to attend Kindergarten parent-teacher night without being scandalized. The next younger brother and I simply from the day he was born to the present have existed in entirely different universes; we have nothing in common, our interests do not intersect and we leave each other alone.

So as the oldest of three, I've been an only child my entire life.

[UTUSN]

21. Totally: My parents were 40 & the two sisters were 7 & 9 yrs older than me, so

The sisters were, well, girls, and got into their teens by the time I was knowing anything, and the parents had been there/done that.

But most of all, by the time I came along, all the big decisions and dramas had been settled, so I was powerLESS. So everybody was on their settled, well-worn carriage tracks not looking back much, so I needed to straggle along, just follow.


So it was being around "older" people, my youth being sort of skipped over, like the older people didn't find my youthful discoveries charming anymore.

So I had parents and siblings, but felt like an only child.

[pink-o]

22. I have one sister, 13 months older than I am.

We were inseparable growing up, but in the ensuing years she has proven herself to be a greedy, selfish person who has basically abandoned our elderly father once she got everything she wanted out of his house. She still shows up when she expects to get b'day gifts and such, otherwise he never hears from her. So I do feel like an only child right now. Even more once my father dies, because I plan to completely sever my relationship with her. What a shame: your sibs share 75% of your DNA, it's sad when their values are so different from your own.

[mykpart]

29. One thing I learned after six years of therapy

is that you don't have to love or even like someone just because you share DNA.

[Populist_Prole]

23. I was one of 4, but was and still am very independent

We weren't a very close family, in the sense of hugs and palling around and stuff, but got along mostly OK. Being the oldest son, once I hit my teen years I didn't really want to have my brother and 2 sisters in my social life, the youngest 8 years younger than me but that was quite an age difference at that time. This would dismay my mother to no end. She tried to push the whole Norman Rockwell-ish "we're all a family" thing by attempting to get me to include them into my social life, and I resented this and pushed back hard as I took this as an affront to my growing sense of identity and independence. I tried almost too hard to be "cool" to the point where I wouldn't want to be caught dead with my parents/brothers/sisters together in front of my peers.

As my brothers and sisters reached adulthood we got along pretty good and we enjoyed each others company but we saw each other less and less as we all relocated due to our jobs or had families of their own. Funny, my sisters and mother talk to each other over the phone near daily, sometimes more than once a day. Me and my brother talk to my mother maybe once every few weeks. We get along fine, I guess it's just a guy thing.

[Wounded Bear]

24. Youngest of six...

felt left out of what all of the older sibs were doing for much of my time growing up.

I spent 30 years living in California with little or no contact. Had two siblings that moved to Florida and Japan-we grew up in Western Washington state near Seattle.

Recently, the three of us that are still alive are closer, but it takes work. I moved back to the WW area, but the oldest survivor still lives in Japan. He's been coming home for extended annual trips.

[Avalux]

25. No. I have a younger brother and we are close.

I've lived away from my brother and mom and dad for 26 years but we talk at least once a week and text all the time, especially during Pens games, haha. And I like to send care packages to my nephews.

I know that if I ever truly need my brother and/or parents, they'll be there for me.

[closeupready]

26. I've read every post, and thanks to all who posted.

I'm going to keep reading, if anyone else wishes to post.

[Honeycombe8]

27. No. I'm one of five. The middle one, no less. I am definitely not an only child. nt

[nolabear]

28. I'm an oldest, and my sisters are very different, but I love them like sisters.

My sisters are 5 and 9 years younger than I am, are both pretty conservative (one I'd probably call a RWer) but we went through some very hard times as kids and we know what it's like to need someone to be there for you. Either of them would do anything in their power for me, and vice versa. There are just lots of things we don't talk about. That can get lonely, but htat's just the way it is.

[justgamma]

30. Yes, my only brother got married

when I was 4. I don't remember much about us living in the same house.

Although, I worship the ground he walks on, we have very little in common. We are just the complete opposite of each other.