Dealing with a Narcissistic Sibling?..

[HipChick]

Any of you deal with a narcissistic Sibling? I'm so tired, takes so much energy, I just want to pull a 'Harry' and walk away..I only even have contact now because our parents are aging..and even then I can't be around her for long. Older and only sister, who has never been much of a sister to me.

[Grasswire2]

1. How do you know she's a narcissist?

I was married to one, and fortunately his business partner was a psychologist who told me one day what was going on. That changed my life; I could understand what was happening.

Do you think she has narcissistic tendencies? Or is there a diagnosis?

[HipChick]

2. You can tick off the checkbox narcissistic traits..

Everyone tip toes around her, it's like walking on eggshells...except, I call her on her narcissism ..it never ends well..

[fierywoman]

3. If she is a true narcissist the only remedy is to walk away, cold and cruel as you might

think that to be. It's a matter of your well being and survival.

[HipChick]

4. I wish that were possible..but

She doesn't have the best interests of my parents at heart, and I'm concerned about potential elder abuse/fraud

[fierywoman]

6. Oh God. Then do some research about how to deal with a narcissist (I've been reading

and listening on YouTube to a Dr Ramani S Durvasula -- she's very measured and sane. You probably would want to learn about tactics on how to ignore the narcissistic behavior. I wish you the best -- it's hard.

[Marie Marie]

9. I've heard her videos - she is good.

[Rorey]

11. Dr. Ramani is awesome

She's one of several that I listen to regularly.

[Behind the Aegis]

15. I was just going to reccommend her.

She just did a three-part on parents, friends/co-workers, and another (can't recall) who are narcissists and how to cope.

[lindysalsagal]

5. Boundaries. Choose and adjust when needed. Give up hoping

She'll ever be human. Sad story. Find alternate sisters:I'm glad I did.

[Sparky 1]

7. Putting one state between her and myself worked nicely.

[HipChick]

8. Did that for decades..

but circumstances need me to now be closer to home

[lunasun]

10. Lay all the boundaries now if your parents are aging and contact looks to only increase due to it

Hopefully she’s not also a sadist . If she is , sorry they are mind twisting and best to avoid
Many narcissists are difficult to get along with, have a grandiose sense of self, and won't take accountability for their actions, but they don't have a driving need to be cruel or punish others too-that’s the difference .
But if she’s not also sadistic maybe try boundaries before giving up.
For your parents’ sake you may not be able to walk away but unemotionally express limits with her, without confrontation even if it makes you “the bad person” it’s good for you to protect yourself from further nonsense
of course accept she will not change and can not be trusted

[Rorey]

12. I walked away from my brother

I have no regrets. I can't say he's a narcissist, but he's got tendencies. He is rude, condescending, and just generally an asshole. I do know that he loves his daughters, so I wouldn't say he's got NPD. I decided last year that there was no reason to put up with his ways any longer, so I made the decision to be done. It was a HUGE relief.

The best advice I can give is to educate yourself as much as you can about the futility of trying to reason with a narcissist. You'll never change her. She is what she is.

[MontanaMama]

13. Narcissists are awful. I am sorry you're dealing with this.

My mother was a narcissist....diagnosed. It’s a long hard road having to deal with them. It can be acutely painful until you learn tools to protect yourself. I highly recommend educating yourself about them and how they operate...it’ll help. Your parents are fortunate to have you looking out for them. Hugs.

[Boxerfan]

14. There is no cure-only your ability to cope.

I have a older brother-who has never been a brother to me. I am only now realizing all the damage done by him and I have to "deal" with him.

But I never will trust him again-no matter the "I swears" whatever. They always manipulate and have one goal-to better themselves.

Period.

There is no treatment or cure. And we are all stupid for even thinking (insert narcissist here) are not way too smart and deserve anything they get even if they have to steal to get it.


Be VERY wary of family estate matters-OMG I wish I knew back when.