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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsKnow any good one-liner jokes?
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows to high...She seemed surprised.
Response to red dog 1 (Original post)
NightWatcher This message was self-deleted by its author.
Karadeniz
(22,506 posts)Harker
(14,012 posts)When I was a kid, we were so poor my mother cut a hole in my pocket so I'd have something to play with!
Yes, Rodney Dangerfield.
LakeArenal
(28,817 posts)And its (s)not.
LakeArenal
(28,817 posts)Cuz he drank the most beer.
Piasladic
(1,160 posts)Pi an --- never mind
Maine-i-acs
(1,499 posts)but I didn't think there was a pressing need.
Maine-i-acs
(1,499 posts)he was a chick magnate.
Maine-i-acs
(1,499 posts)so I went to the Cairo-practor.
csziggy
(34,136 posts)Harker
(14,012 posts)red dog 1
(27,792 posts)Harker
(14,012 posts)Ohiogal
(31,979 posts)from the master of one liners
https://www.thoughtco.com/funny-one-liners-rodney-dangerfield-2832427
Binkie The Clown
(7,911 posts)My ex-wife what's-her-name told me that all the time.
red dog 1
(27,792 posts)red dog 1
(27,792 posts)MatthewHatesTrump2
(915 posts)DFW
(54,341 posts)FakeNoose
(32,633 posts)Here are just a few of Steven Wright's one-liners:
- 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, Im afraid of widths.
- All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- Borrow money from pessimists-they dont expect it back.
- Change is inevitable
.except from vending machines.
- Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
- Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least its the scenic route.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just dont have film.
- Experience is something you dont get until just after you need it.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
- Half the people you know are below average.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- How do you tell when youre out of invisible ink?
red dog 1
(27,792 posts)red dog 1
(27,792 posts)red dog 1
(27,792 posts)red dog 1
(27,792 posts)backtoblue
(11,343 posts)I thought I was wrong.