For the record: I Do Not Believe In Magical Thinking

[Collimator]

However, it is easy to fall into wishful thinking. It's probably unhealthy, but I find it comforting at times.

If I could make a request of an actual magical power being, it would be for some minor vexation to befall Trump in public.

(Even in my fantasies I wouldn't want to "wish" him dead because I really want the world to work properly, if you get my meaning.)

So, witches, if you're out there--and you know that I'm only kidding 'cause I'm saying it out loud in a public venue--could you please cast a spell for one of the following?

A bird to unload on Trump's hair and shoulder during one of his chopper talks. I know that a bird pooping on one is supposed to be good luck, but the good luck could be Trump not getting clawed by the bird.

Trump to loudly (and visibly) shart himself while walking up the stairs to Air Force One.

A serious nosebleed to afflict him while sitting next to the president of some other country and embarrassing himself (and us) with his stupid words.

Okay, that's three things. I could come up with more, but I don't want to be greedy and I know the basic rules about wishes. So, thanks.

[Me.]

1. Seriously

A nosebleed? What good does that do for the country? How about a total freakout on camera that is so massive it cannot be denied and we see people rushing out with straight jackets?

JUst to add...would foaming at the mouth be a good touch?

[Collimator]

4. A nosebleed would not help the country, no.

But the parameters of my "wish" is that I can't really mess with the normal (if you can call it that) progress of society.
Sort of like the "Prime Directive" on Star Trek.

[NotASurfer]

2. A gust of wind, decades of increasingly extreme hair engineering...

The whole yellow arrangement leaves his head and claims its freedom, leaving a permanent swath of pasty scalp from which no hair shall sprout ever again...

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5. The hair thing?

Oh, yeah. I've had that fantasy.

I'd wish for the bird to snatch it away instead of merely pooping on it, but I don't want to see the bird shot by the Secret Service..
Unless the dead bird landed on Trump's head with a bloody splat.

[pandr32]

3. I'd like to see his toilet paper/shoe trick again

That one was golden--especially since it so perfectly told the truth about the "Trump" brand epitomizing class and taste.
I also think that all his official portraits that hang in VA offices should be his formal and ill-fitting 'penguin' attire picture while a guest of the Queen. He looked so self-conscious and ridiculous. Perfect portrait.

[Collimator]

6. Another telling point about the toilet paper/shoe thing is . . .

. . . That nobody charged with looking out for him or caring for him said anything. Think about it, he's the President of the United States, [pause while I throw up in my mouth a little at the reminder] and he is being photographed and filmed in a fully public venue.

Not one aide or Secret Service agent said a word. I'd tell a stranger on the street if something was wrong and be soft-spoken if I feared embarassing them. But I wouldn't leave them to be humilated longer by not telling them at all.

With Trump, I have gone to the dark place of actively wishing all manner of humilation upon him. Usually, when reading or hearing about truly awful people, I just want them stopped and punished within legal means. (Okay, I do have a few dark fantasies about dumping really bad people naked and tied in the fetal position onto the middle of glacier. But, I haven't even admitted that to my therapist yet, so keep that to yourself.)

The glee that I feel when Trump makes a fool of himself is leavened in with the outrage that I experience when I think about what he continues to be allowed to do and my feelings are very complex. Allowing myself to feel petty is a safety value of sorts.

[pandr32]

7. Yep! I loved that, too

Very telling indeed.