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lindysalsagal

(20,765 posts)
Sun Dec 17, 2017, 07:51 PM Dec 2017

Innocuous Holiday Phrases That Sound Dirty

Like,

"Can I put this in your stocking?"

https://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=dirty.thxsgiving.txt

Whew, that's one terrific spread!
I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
Talk about a huge breast!
It's Cool Whip time!
If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
Are you ready for seconds yet?
Are you going to come again next time?
It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
Don't play with your meat.
Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
You still have a little bit on your chin.
Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.
How long will it take after you stick it in?
You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
How many are coming?
That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest.
How long do I beat it before it's ready?

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Innocuous Holiday Phrases That Sound Dirty (Original Post) lindysalsagal Dec 2017 OP
Time to bring out the spotted dick! htuttle Dec 2017 #1
Want to see my Yule log? Sneederbunk Dec 2017 #2
LOL. Kath2 Dec 2017 #3
Ho, ho, ho! n/t sl8 Dec 2017 #4
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