The GOP: If it looks, swims and quacks like a duck, it's an avocado

[Zorro]

Walk to the back of the impeachment hearing room, into the Republican cloakroom where lawmakers huddle during proceedings, and you’ll find a closed double door with a sign taped to it announcing:
“This is not a door. Thank you.”

Pay no attention to the latch, the push bar, the light visible through the crack, the wood panels: This is not a door.

It’s the perfect distillation of the defense of President Trump in these final days of the House impeachment proceedings. This is not a quid pro quo. This is not an abuse of power. This is not an obstruction of justice. It doesn’t matter if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck. This is not a duck. Thank you.

The White House declined to offer a defense of Trump as lawyers for the House Intelligence Committee outlined their findings Monday. This left Republicans to defend him with a blend of falsehoods, disruptions and conspiracy theories aimed at causing confusion in the mind of anybody tempted to conclude that a door is a door.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2019/12/09/gop-if-it-looks-swims-quacks-like-duck-its-an-avocado/

[Beartracks]

1. In the real world, doesn't mounting a defense of lies get you disbarred?

Defense lawyers try to make it so that the prosecutor can't prove their case "beyond the shadow of a doubt" - but I'm pretty sure that you can't just make shit up to try to accomplish that.

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[demosincebirth]

2. I like avocados.

[lagomorph777]

3. This ain't no party, this ain't no disco This ain't no fooling around.

I got three passports, a couple of visas
You don't even know my real name

[FiveGoodMen]

4. Life During Wartime, indeed!