How children perceive their Grandparents......cute funnies!

[Heartstrings]

1. I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I'd done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 72. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I really think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6." (WOW! I really like this one -- it says I'm only '38'!)

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and whenever we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

[Glimmer of Hope]

1. So cute!

[Arkansas Granny]

2. I love those.

My great granddaughter became aware of my wrinkles when she was about 5 yo. She reached up to stroke my cheek and very solemnly said, "Granny, I like your stripes).

[SamKnause]

3. My niece, her husband, and their 2 year old son were caught in a hail storm.

As they sat in their car, in their driveway, the hail pummeled everything around them.

When it stopped, the ground was covered with hail the size of plums.

My great nephew asked his mother and father, "Who is going to pick up all of these golf balls"?

[marked50]

4. Kids Say the Darndest Things--n/t

[ChubbyStar]

5. Pregnant killed me

[JNelson6563]

6. Kids are so hilarious!

When my daughter was in grade school she came home one day and proudly announced "I broke my g string today!" Having been busy in the kitchen when she came in I was miles away, as it were, and that split second it took me to realize she was talking about her violin...it was a confusing & distressing moment.

[rusty fender]

7. LOL

at:

Who was that?

I can't read.

They use the the dogs to find the fire hydrants.

[niyad]

8. k and r with thanks for the much-needed smiles.

[applegrove]

9. Sweet. Here's one from my nephews. When they were 6 and 4 they drove

past the local hospital with their mom. The 6 year old asked his mom what the helicopter pad was. My sister explained it was so helicopters could land. He said "why?" and the 4 year old piped up and said "silly, how do you think they get the dead people up to heaven".

Another time my brother phoned and told my sister he had developed type 1 diabetes at the age of 33. When she got off the phone her 7 year old son was very quiet. She asked him what was wrong and he said "I don't want uncle .... to die of beeties"